Chapter Text
Tubbo couldn’t sleep with Ranboo.
As much as this fact tore through the plains of his heart and left the villages he had created ransacked and beyond repair, and as much as he could never admit this fact to Ranboo, Tubbo could never fall asleep with the enderman hybrid next to him.
He guessed it had something to do with that small fact about him.
Tubbo loved Ranboo with his entire heart, don’t get him wrong about that. He was well aware that Ranboo would never do anything to hurt him on purpose, and he knew that Ranboo stressed himself out way too much worrying about Tubbo’s last life, collecting totems for him so that he would never be caught without one.
But he couldn’t deny that feeling safe enough to sleep with monsters nearby was against all the programming he was used to.
Prime, he hated that word. There was nothing anyone on the SMP could say to convince Tubbo that the man he married was anything less than the single sweetest and most thoughtful person he had ever encountered. You could not tell Tubbo that the man who found a flower biome just to bring a mountain of pink tulips back to his husband because he offhandedly mentioned they were his favourite flower was a monster. There was no way that was true.
Yet here he was crawling into bed every night, laying next to Ranboo, completely and utterly wide awake.
He knew he couldn’t alert his husband of this fact. He could just see the pain in his face when he realized he was causing Tubbos restless nights and exhausting days. He could practically feel the hybrid's whole body shaking with the horrible (and untrue, he should add) thoughts that he was a monster. That he was born to hunt and kill and cause destruction. Ranboo must have had those thoughts at some point anyway, there was no reason for Tubbo to reinforce this idea when he knew for a fact it wasn’t true.
So Tubbo did what a good husband does. He lay in bed every night, letting Ranboo brush through his hair with his fingers, trying to keep his breathing as slow as possible as to not alert his love of his consciousness. Yeah alright, he was exhausted every morning, but he would take power naps in his lab while Ranboo was watching Michael or running errands, and seeing the smile that lit up Ranboos face whenever he woke up entangled in each other's limbs he knew that it was all worth it. Tubbo would give his last life to make sure he saw that smile every day. The way his cheeks and ears blushed and the corners of his eyes crinkled in pure happiness. It was bliss. What was a little bit of lost sleep in exchange for that?