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Saiki knew the day would be troublesome when as soon as Aiura Mikoto entered the classroom, she marched directly to his desk.
“Morning, babe!” she greeted, drumming her fingers along his desk. “Do you know what today is?” Our anniversary!
“Well, I know what you think today is,” Saiki replied. “But I have no idea what the hell you mean.”
Aiura put her hands on her hips. “How easily you forget, dear. A year ago today you asked me to be your fake girlfriend, obviously.” She spoke the last part in a low voice, like a loud whisper.
“So?”
She leaned closely, so as to speak directly in his ear with a hush, as if he couldn’t hear her if she didn’t speak at all. “We’ve been fake-together for a whole year! We should, like, celebrate.” She backed up, gave him a cheesy grin and a wink.
“No. We should have had a fake break-up a long time ago. So I’ll end it now.” He waved his hand, but she stayed put.
“No, you’re not,” she told him. “You can fake-break up with me tomorrow. Today, I’m taking you out for sweets.”
She had him there. Good grief. “Fine,” he said. “But it’s over tomorrow.”
Aiura waved her hand. “Sure, sure.”
Admitting that he was looking forward to the afternoon tea shop date would be the last thing that Saiki would ever do, but still he did fantasize about what he would order, knowing that Aiura was treating him.
So when Aiura came to collect him at the end of the day, Saiki bolted up from his seat immediately.
Eager, huh? She thought, taking his hand. She figured she would be leading him, but Saiki wanted to walk at his own pace and to avoid his other so-called friends. A squeak bubbled up in her chirpy voice in surprise at their break-neck pace. “Slow down, Kusuo!” she called out, her legs beginning to trip over each other as she trailed behind him out of the school.
Saiki slowed slightly, letting her catch up to walk by his side. “Sorry,” he said.
I know, he’s like, way embarrassed to be seen with me, but that was a little over-the-top, she thought with a frown.
Saiki squeezed her hand once, perhaps as an apology. He did prefer that she not interact with him at school, but only because she was an out-and-proud psychic and he didn’t want to come under suspicion due to their association. But he could understand how his little rules could make her feel like he didn’t like her. Well, maybe he didn’t really like her, but Saiki couldn’t tell. She was so capable and he could trust her with the knowledge of his abilities, and he didn’t find himself annoyed with her thoughts since she was so upfront and honest about her feelings, unlike most people. And she liked sweets, just like him. But that stuff didn’t mean he liked her, did it? He let go of her, unlacing their fingers to shove his hands into his uniform pockets.
“The place that we’re going is just around the corner,” Aiura said. “I checked with Chisapoyo, and she, like, doesn’t actually work at this cafe.” Aiura laughed. So she at least made some consideration to keep this “date” private.
She pointed ahead of them to a building with a pink-and-white striped awning. As they approached, Saiki saw that the windows were all painted with red hearts and what little of the interior of the café he actually could see through all the window decorations looked like it was decorated to the hilt with roses. It looked like Valentine’s day exploded inside a restaurant.
“They have amazing red velvet cake and super sweet lattes,” Aiura said. “Of course they have coffee jelly too and they serve it with lots of whipped cream!” I hope it lives up to the reviews I saw online. I mean, like, I already did a prediction to see if it was going to be good, and things seemed promising. But with Saiki, anything is possible. Aiura pushed through the door and the hostess directed them to a table in the back at Aiura’s request.
The booth that they settled in was more dimly lit than the rest of the café, with a small collection of candles flickering on the table. Saiki sighed. This place wasn’t exactly subtle. Neither was Aiura, since she opted, as usual, to sit on the same side of the table as him.
“So what was your favorite memory of being my fake boyfriend over the last year?” Aiura asked, leaning her head on his shoulder.
Saiki kept his usual blank expression, but he felt his eyebrow twitch. Good grief. We didn’t even do any fake-dating after that one day, Saiki thought to himself. And it was barely even necessary. Saiki slumped forward and leaned his face on his fist. Maybe I could have better used the situation to my advantage. “I guess this is as good as it gets,” he replied after a moment.
Aiura laughed. “I was just kidding. You’re always so serious.” She reached up and poked his cheek. I’m so lucky that his grumpy face is so totally adorable!
Saiki pulled her hand away from his face and she slotted her fingers through it. Good grief, she’s relentless. “We’re in public, knock it off,” he said.
She sat up and put her hands in her lap. “No one can even see us back here,” she said, mumbling mostly to herself.
Finally a waitress came to take their order and, with the powers of a mind reader, Saiki determined what the best items on the menu were. He ordered a latte, a coffee jelly, and a slice of strawberry shortcake. Aiura asked for a black coffee and a red velvet cupcake.
When the waitress walked away Aiura placed her hand on Saiki’s leg, subconsciously, and leaned closer to him. “I know that us being fake BF and GF was totally a one-time thing, by the way. But I still kind of wished that you might ask me to play the part again,” she said. “I think I was pretty good at it. And actually, you were not so bad either.”
Saiki shrugged. All he did was pat her head and get locked in a closet with her by Imu. As far as he was concerned, it wasn’t that successful. But maybe that just means that Aiura didn’t have high expectations. Saiki almost felt offended at the implication. If I were actually trying I would be much better, he thought, folding his arms over his chest.
“Something wrong, babe? We’re not all mind-readers, you know,” Aiura teased.
Saiki shook his head.
“You know… Imu didn’t let Terukoko think we were dating, right?” Aiura said. “So do you just not care anymore? Or do you like having her attention or something?”
Saiki sat ramrod straight, not expecting the suddenness of the question. Was there some truth to that? Did a part of Saiki derive enjoyment out of knowing that Teruhashi wanted him? Or was it because he was a sadist, deriving enjoyment out of depriving the perfect pretty girl? But he didn’t hate Teruhashi. She really was pretty much perfect, except for her self-importance. Maybe it would be good for her character development if Saiki rejected her outright. Or if she saw him with someone she deemed inferior.
“I don’t like her attention,” he said, feeling confident that at least that much was true. Having her chase him around brought so much unwanted trouble. “I guess I’m like Imu. I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”
Ah, so he’ll spare her feelings, but he has no issue rejecting me? I see how it is… Aiura stuck her nose up in the air. Maybe I won’t pay for his desserts after all!
Good grief! She’s the one who brought this all up. Saiki felt his lips turn down in a frown. What could he say to ensure she’d pay for his treats? “Maybe I don’t respect her enough to tell her the truth,” he said, tactfully.
Aiura perked up a little bit, but she still didn’t seem convinced. I’d rather be liked than respected, I think.
It was time for Saiki’s finishing move. “Either way, I’d rather spend time with you,” Saiki said, pushing himself past his normal limits of affection to ensure his free cake ticket. It wasn’t really untrue. With Aiura, he didn’t have to hide his powers or his personality. It was easier with her, usually more relaxed. And unlike Toritsuka, who also knew about his powers, she wasn’t a total pervert. And she wasn't like Akechi either, who always seemed to get the best of him and confused him with his overwhelming deluge of thoughts and words. But with any of the people who knew about his abilities, Saiki could focus on things other than just hiding them, which was a pleasant change of pace.
Aiura batted her eyelashes at him. “Aw, Kusuo!” she crooned, wrapping her arms around his shoulder and rocking his body with hers in a vice-grip-like hug, as if that tiny compliment was the most romantic thing she had ever heard.
Saiki just closed his eyes and accepted it. This was his payment for the free treats, he supposed.
Finally, their desserts were brought out as Saiki managed to peel himself out of Aiura’s arms. He still didn’t really want the waitress or anyone else to see them looking like a lovey-dovey couple. That would be embarrassing at the very least and socially complicated at the worst if word got out.
But as Saiki took his first bite of coffee jelly, he considered how bad it would really be if more people thought he and Aiura were actually together. Imu hadn’t made a big deal out of it, after all. Nendou would be supportive and Aren would probably respect Saiki’s choice. Kaidou might be surprised and maybe a little jealous, assuming that Saiki would spend less time with him and more time with her. Chiyo would be ecstatic for her friend, and she’d probably hope that Saiki’s romantic success might inspire Kaidou to finally make his own move. Teruhashi… she would be devastated, but maybe that would be a good thing? Maybe she and Saiki could actually be friends once her emotional wounds healed. If she was no longer obsessed with him falling in love with her, they could have a normal conversation. Saiki stroked his chin as he continued to eat his treat.
“Is the coffee jelly good?” Aiura asked, having already finished half of her cupcake.
Saiki nodded, finally pulled out of his own musings. “You picked a good place for our first and last date as a fake couple.” He dug into his strawberry shortcake, appreciating the perfect balance of sweet cream tart strawberry, and moist cake. He hummed involuntarily, his cheeks warming over with pleasure. A really, really good place.
“Well, I have lots more cafes I’d like to try out soon,” she said, pulling her phone out and perusing a list of new establishments. “I use my crystal ball to find the best places that no one knows about yet. I never have to wait for a table this way, you know?”
What a goddess, Saiki thought, taking his final bite. She knows how to make good use of her powers. In Saiki’s post-dessert haze, he felt like maybe this date should be the first of many. But he wasn’t so stupid as to say that to her.
“Want to try the red velvet?” she asked, extending a bite on a fork toward his mouth.
He didn’t even think before closing his lips around the offering. It was worth the indirect kiss to taste that cake. This place was truly amazing. His cold heart stirred slightly in his chest, but he suppressed it.
Saiki sipped his latte while Aiura finished her black coffee. Once he slept on this, he would realize that he was just caught up in the moment, in the thrill of free sweets and an uncrowded café. He would look back and laugh at himself for even considering the benefits of dating Aiura, even for a second. He would feel foolish for getting all warm and fuzzy over a shared bite of cake. He would scold himself for letting Aiura keep her hand, comforting and heavy, on his thigh. In the morning, he would not hesitate to make the end of their fake relationship official and put the whole idiotic thing behind him.
The next day arrived too suddenly for Saiki’s preference, since he spent so little of the last night sleeping, tossing and turning, running those pointless thoughts through his head over and over again. Would dating Aiura be convenient? Would it get Teruhashi off his back? Would it arouse suspicion that he was a psychic like her? Would people give him attention for having a hot girlfriend? Did he even really like her like that? He supposed that none of the other questions were as important as that last one.
He rubbed his eyes, seeking a hot cup of coffee to try and stimulate himself enough to face the day. He had a job to do no matter what: break-up with his fake girlfriend.
Once at school, Aiura seemed to be able to dodge him for most of the day, though it wasn’t intentional. Girls sought her out for psychic readings all day long, due to the upcoming exams that were to be followed immediately by a holiday. They all wanted to know their odds with their tests and also their odds of spending time with their crushes while school was out. Aiura did each reading with patience, giving accurate yet vague answers, to satisfy her desire to help and to satisfy Saiki’s request that she not be too impressive with her predictions.
By the end of the day, Saiki just wanted to get the whole thing over with. “Meet me in the back stairwell,” he requested, communicating silently across the classroom, projecting his thoughts into her head directly.
Are we like, really doing this? Aiura wondered. Like he doesn’t seriously have to do the whole break-up thing. I get it. Nevertheless, she gave him a subtle thumbs-up under the desk.
As students rushed in the opposite direction, toward the clubrooms, the gym, and the exit, Saiki made his way toward the back of the school and sat at the top of the abandoned stairwell to wait for his fake girlfriend to show up.
When she arrived at the bottom of the staircase, she huffed, realizing that she would have to climb the steps for this meeting. “I know what this is about, Kusuo. You’re being so dramatic.”
“You know?” Saiki asked, quirking an eyebrow, but leaving his mouth in a flat line.
“Yeah, we’re breaking up,” she said, her voice lilting with sarcasm over the last two words as she made her way up the staircase. “Right?”
Saiki nodded once. “Our fake relationship is officially over now,” he said.
Okay, so why meet in this secret stairway? He totally could’ve just told me this back in the classroom. Aiura made it to the top of the stairs and put her hands on her hips. “Is that all?” she asked.
“You want to have a real relationship now?” Saiki asked, still maintaining his blank facial expression, his monotone telepathic voice. He knew she would not say no, not after all her pestering, all of her “soulmate” talk. But still, asking bluntly like that was a little bit daunting. He looked away, not being able to take her confused expression anymore, afraid his cheeks would turn pink from the humiliation of admitting defeat, of admitting that after all this time, yeah, he did kind of like her back.
She still wasn’t giving her answer, her thoughts a jumble of questions like, What kind of asshole does he think he is? Making fun of me? Since when did Saiki joke about stuff like this?
“I’m serious,” he said.
“You want me to be your real girlfriend now? All of a sudden?” She still seemed unconvinced.
If Saiki were feeling bold, he might kiss her to prove his intentions, but that would be too much too soon. Instead he just shrugged. “It’s not really sudden. We were fake dating for a year. This seemed to be the next step.”
She shoved his arm. “Don’t mess with me!” she said, her eyes getting glossy, but a smile appearing over her lips. I think he, like, actually, really means it.
“Good grief, I thought you’d be happier,” he said.
Finally, she was convinced. She leapt onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I am happy!” she said.
He patted her back, the most physical affection he could manage to reciprocate with for now. “Don’t get too carried away,” he said.
But she just buried her face into his neck. “Too late, boyfriend.”
After all of his ruminating on the subject, he thought he had considered every aspect of this issue, but maybe a tiny part of him was regretting this. She was way too much, too enthusiastic. A larger part of him loved every bit of it, though. Maybe in another year, he’d be able to tell her just how much.