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It was long and exhausting work getting Helmut’s body out of the ice. Well, maybe not physically exhausting— they were using this huge drill to speed up the process— but it was emotionally exhausting. Simply being in the same place were he lost the love of his life is a lot for Bob to handle emotionally.
Thankfully he’s able to hold Helmut’s brain close as the drill breaks through the surface of the ice. Helmut— bless his heart— has been Bob’s rock through out the process.
Helmut has always been good at comforting Bob during the worst of times, knowing exactly what to say when it needs to be said, giving Bob the room to feel his emotions and just generally being a wonderful and thoughtful presence; as is typical of the sweet man.
Bob can’t help but feel a little guilty about getting so much help from Helmut and giving him no emotional support during the process— not that Helmut needed it.
“You do help me, Bobby,” Helmut insists when Bob brings up how he wishes he could do more for Helmut. “You carry me around! The ground’s cold! So very, very cold. I don’t wanna get brain freeze out here, Bobby! So you carrying me around is super helpful. Besides...you could never carry me around before! This is great! I’m having a wonderful time having my sweet and loving husband carry me around.”
Bob chuckles at Helmut’s words, even as just a brain the musician is as delightful as ever.
Eventually they manage to get Helmut’s body out of his frosty prison and Helmut is taken away to get re-brained. Bob is tense as he paces outside the makeshift “operating room” as he waits.
Bob is told to go wait in the break room tent but he can’t sit still, he about to have his husband back in full after twenty years.
After what felt like a lifetime and a half Bob is told by one of the other agents that he can come in.
Upon entering the tent Bob rushes to his husband’s side, taking the larger man’s hand into his own; it’s unusually cold. Helmut has yet to open his eyes and he’s cold.
Bob’s heart stops as the possibility of death hits him like a truck, knocking the wind out of him.
But then Helumt’s peaceful expression turns mirthful as a mischievous smile grows on his face.
“Good morning, Bobby,” Helmut hums as his eyes flutter open, gazing at Bob with the loving expression that he always greeted Bob with every morning all those years ago.
Bob lets out a half bark half laugh as the tension breaks and his fears melt away.
“You little punk!” Bob laughs as tears roll down his face. “Why didn’t have your eyes open?!”
“I wanted the first thing I saw when I got my body back to be you,” Helmut confesses as he gives Bob one of his trademark smiles— god how Bob has missed that smile of his.
“Oh Helmut,” Bob chuckles, his voiced strained with emotion. “Come here you!”
Bob grabs Helmut by both sides of his head and brings him in for a kiss. The kiss is messy, desperate, ungraceful, emotional and absolutely perfect; much like their first kiss.
“Please,” Bob begs as the both of them break for breath. “Please never scare me like that ever again.”
“I’m sorry, Bobby,” Helmut apologizes as he rests his forehead on his husband. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Please,” Bob croaks, as tears free fall from his eyes. “I missed you so much. I-I-I had no idea how to live without you I—”
“Shshshshsh,” Helmut shushes as he sits up and pulls his husband into a tight embrace, Bob’s face hiding in his chest. “It’s okay. You’re Psi-King is here. You don’t have to say anything, Bobby. You can let it all out, I’m here.”
And so Bob does.
Bob cries the hardest he’s ever cried since the day that he lost Helmut.
Though this time the wails of grief are replaced with quiet choked relieved sobs as he holds onto the love of his life as tight as he can, as if he fears something else will take him away again. Eventually, Bob cries himself out.
Looking up at his beautiful husband, Bob notes that Helmut looks exactly the same as the day that he lost him. So full of life and being absolutely radiant. Bob doesn’t really think anything of it.
At least...not at first.
But eventually Bob and Helmut come home to the Motherlobe and that’s where the reality of the situation hits Bob.
Helmut...hasn’t aged a single day in twenty years.
...But Bob HAS .
Watching Helmut as he excitedly bounces around the Motherlobe rambling cutely about how “futuristic” everything is what makes Bob do a double take about the current situation. If Helmut hasn’t aged in twenty years...that means that Bob is about twenty years older than his husband.
Twenty years too old to be weighing someone like Helmut down.
Bob attempts to shake off that train of thought...but it’s persistent.
And as each day goes by it only gets worse.
Helmut should be with someone closer to his age, that way he can grow old with them. Helmut should be with someone who can keep up with him— not some old man who could barely keep up even when he was young .
Helmut shouldn’t have to go through the pain of losing Bob when Bob enviably dies sooner than Helmut; his age not withstanding Bob hasn’t been treating his body with the care that it needs.
So...Bob eventually comes to understand what he has to do.
He has to let Helmut go.
And so here Bob stands as Helmut puts the finishing touches on the now refurbished Feel Mobile— completely skunk free and all.
“There you go, baby,” Helmut whispers to his van as he polishes the last bit of it. “Now you’re shining just like you use to.
“It’s looking great, Psi-King,” Bob pipes in, letting Helmut know that he’s here.
“My Bobby!” Helmut gasps happily as he turns to look at Bob, his expression filled with delight.
Bob gives Helmut a little shy wave, which causes Helmut’s expression to turn sour.
“Um? Where’s my hug?” Helmut questions as he holds his arms out. “I need my daily doses of Bobby hugs if I’m gonna get through the day you know!”
“...I need to talk to you,” Bob sighs as he approaches the man of his dreams.
Helmut’s eyebrow furrow in confusion and worry.
“Is something wrong, Bobby?” Helmut asks, concern clear in his voice.
Bob closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, it’s time.
“Helmut,” Bob begins as he looks down at the ground, unable to look Helmut in the eyes. “I love you so much. You’ve...made my life so much better by just being in it. Thank you for that.”
Bob clenches his hand into a fist as his throat tightens.
“When I lost you...it felt like my life was over,” Bob admits. “And now I have you back...but...I’m an old man now, Psi-King. You still have a whole life ahead of you and...you shouldn’t be wasting it on an old man like me.”
Tears begin to run down Bob’s face, blurring the old man’s vision.
“S-So I understand if...you want to leave me,” Bob sniffles. “To be with someone younger.”
Bob waits for a relieved sigh from Helmut, a thank you for understanding, a mutter about how much this has been a bother for him.
...But an odd amount of time passes and Helmut doesn’t say anything.
So Bob gathers as much courage as he can and looks up at his dear husbands face. From Helmut’s expression, Bob might have thought he’d grown a second head.
“Um…” Bob hums, stroking his beard nervously. “Are you...going to saying something?”
“...Why— Why in the vast mysterious expanse of the universe would I leave my DILF of a husband?” Helmut questions as if what Bob just said was the most asinine thing he’s ever heard.
“...A what?” Bob tilts his head in confusion, not understanding what Helmut just called him.
“A foxy grandpa, sliver fox,” Helmut lists off. “You know, an attractive older gentleman.”
“I’m more like a polar bear,” Bob mutters bitterly as he pats his stomach.
“Polar bears are cute!” Helmut nods, as if what Bob just said was a positive thing. “Much like you!”
“I just— what on earth do you mean this—!” Bob gestures to himself. “Is attractive?!”
“Um, exactly what I mean? You’re hot, Bobby,” Helmut shrugs, seemingly not understand what has his husband so confused. “You’re a sexy old man.”
“A sexy—?! YOU’RE INTO THIS?!” Bob exclaims, his entire worldview shattering before him.
“Hell yeah I am!” Helmut chuckles, shooting Bob a wink.
“B-But I’m old enough to be your father now!” Bob points out.
“Nah, you’re my Daddy,” Helmut says as he gives Bob a toothy grin.
“...I am learning so much about you today, oh my god,” Bob mumbles as he stares off into space.
“Listen, I’m a man who enjoys the finer things in life. Shy prickly nerds, older men, all the colors of the rainbow,” Helmut recites.
“And now you’re husband is a shy old gay prickly nerd?” Bob scoffs.
“Yes, exactly! I’ve hit the jackpot!” Helmut cheers as he throws his hands into the air. “So why would I leave you?”
“Well...there’s also my body’s...” Bob trails off.
“Listen, Bobby. When I said that thing about the treadmill I meant that in terms of inner body stuff,” Helmut explains. “I thought you knew that.”
“I know you did,” Bob nods. “But I mean that I probably don’t have that long of a shelf life, my king.”
“...Can’t we just put your brain in that hamster ball thing that they put my brain in?” Helmut suggests.
“Well, I don’t see why not. But do you really want just a brain for a husband?” Bob asks sincerely.
“What if my body was damaged beyond repair thanks to the ice, Bobby? Would you be okay with just my brain?” Helmut counters as he crosses his arms, sending a ticked off glare to Bob.
“No, no, no, no!” Bob waves his hands. “I didn’t mean it like that! I would have been fine with— I mean, I was happy just to know that—”
Helmut approaches his blubbering man and plants a kiss on his head.
“It’s okay, Bobby. I was just teasing,” Helmut whispers. “I understand where you’re coming from, but don’t worry about it. I’m head over heels for you.”
“...Are you really okay with this?” Bob inquiries yet again.
“Yes!” Helmut sighs, rolling his eyes at his silly husband. “I loved you as a young man, I love you as an old man and yes, I will love you as a hamster ball brain. And you wanna know something Bobby? I’m looking forward to when we can be hamster ball husbands together in like sixty years or whatever.”
“...And you’re into...this?” Bob gestures to himself once more.
“Very much so,” Helmut confirms as he runs his hands over Bob’s torso. “And might I add that I’m very glad to know that you still fill out the ass of your pants spectacularly.” Helmut further pushes this point by giving Bob’s ass a teasing pinch.
“Way to ruin the moment, dear,” Bob snickers as he embraces Helmut.
“So are you saying you don’t want to hop into the Feel Mobile and worship your king ?” Helmut hums as tilts Bob’s head up and pecks him on the lips.
“...Well, I never said that ,” Bob mumbles shyly.
“Come on,” Helmut whispers as he tilts his head towards the Feel Mobile. “It’s been twenty years, your king misses you.”
Helmut grasps Bob’s hand as he guides him into the Feel Mobile for some long overdue equity time together.
“And I have missed my king,” Bob smiles as Helmut opens up the Feel Mobile and pulls his husband inside.