Chapter Text
“Hey Stevie! Wait up!” Jamie called.
Steve turned toward her voice, stopping in his tracks as he did as she asked. Unfortunately, that meant the bullies caught up too.
“Hey ‘Stevie’,” one of them crooned. Steve could practically hear the air quotes around the nickname. “What are these girls doin’ hangin’ around you all the time? Not like you’d know how to bang a chick if she fell on your dick.” Then turning to Jamie in a voice that was probably supposed to be seductive, “I can show you a good time, honey…”
Jamie cringed. “My name is not ‘Honey’,” she said, fuming now, “and until you figure that out, I don’t think you’ll be showing anyone a ‘good time’.”
“At least not if you don’t want your eye blacked for your troubles,” Steve muttered under his breath, unheard by the other boys, as one of them said, “ooh… this one’s feisty, boys.”
“I’ll show you feisty!” Steve yelled, about to punch the idiot in the face when Jamie grabbed him, holding him back.
“It’s not worth it, Stevie,” she said more calmly than she felt. “Let’s just find Peggy and get out of here- speak of the devil, there she is.”
“Hey boys,” Peggy said threateningly, then calmly turned towards her friends and said, “Let’s get outta here.”
Now that the bullies were outnumbered, they seemed perfectly willing to let them leave. Peggy had quite a reputation around the school. She wasn’t one to back down from a fight, or to lose. Not that Steve or Jamie ever backed down either, but they tended to brawl and get themselves just as beat up as the bullies, whereas Peggy had a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and tended to be pretty neat about taking down any would-be assailants before it got to the mess of a brawl. Peggy’s reputation was a fearsome thing, and it had saved Steve and Jamie countless injuries since they had become friends freshman year.
“Thanks for saving our asses back there,” Jamie said to Peggy as they walked down the block to Steve’s house.
“No problem. That’s what friends do, right? Not like you two haven’t had my back just as often. We still on for girls’ night at Anna’s this weekend?”
“Uh… I guess…” Jamie said, looking a little uncomfortable. “I know you don’t want to go alone.”
“I know it’s not really your thing, but you really should hang out with people other than Steve at least occasionally. It’ll be fun.”
“Hey! I resent that. I do hang out with people other than Steve. I hang out with you, don’t I?”
“Yeah,” she said, “when Steve is there too.”
Jamie looked a little confused, like she hadn’t realised that before. “Oh. Well, I’ll be hanging out with you and other non-Steve people this weekend.”
“See ya then, Jamie,” Peggy said, sauntering off to her own house across the street as Steve and Jamie made their way up the stairs outside Steve’s apartment.
“I don’t hang out with you too much, do I?” Jamie asked Steve, a little fearfully.
“Jamie, you have been my best friend since we were in diapers. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I love hanging out with you, and you are always welcome here.”
“Okay. Thanks, Stevie,” Jamie said, seeming relieved.
They tossed their school bags and coats down at the door and settled in on the couch, flipping channels on the TV.
That’s where they still were when Steve’s mom arrived an hour later. Once she had changed out of her scrubs, she started preparing dinner. Steve and Jamie eagerly volunteered to help in the kitchen and found themselves chopping vegetables and stirring things on the stove as needed.
Soon, dinner was ready, and the three of them gathered round the table to eat. It was a simple meal, but it was warm and hearty and made with love, like everything Sarah Rogers made. Sarah asked Steve and Jamie about school, and they told her pretty much everything about their days except for the encounter with the bullies.
After the meal had been eaten and everything cleaned up, Steve and Jamie were alone again, and they went to Steve’s bedroom as usual. But rather than flop down on the bed with Steve, Jamie perched on her friend’s desk chair, legs pulled up in the chair with her. looking like she had something to say. Steve sat up straighter and did his best to be calm and patient.
After what felt like an eternity, Jamie opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She looked terrified, so Steve took her hand and said, “It’s okay, Jamie. Take your time.”
She started crying a little, seemingly helpless to stop the stream of tears, sobs catching in her throat, but she grabbed a piece of paper and started writing. It took long enough that Jamie was able to calm down enough to stop the tears, but it looked like they were ready to start flowing again at the drop of a hat. Rather than try to speak again, she just held the paper out in Steve’s direction.
He took it gently and started reading:
I don’t know how to say this or if you’ll understand. But maybe I can write it. I’ll do my best to explain. I don’t know if there was really a moment where I realised that I didn’t feel like all the girls around me. I guess I just kind of always knew that there was something different about me; I never quite fit in.. It just took me a long time to figure out why. Over the summer, I was watching TV, and there was this rerun marathon of Ugly Betty on, so I started watching it. And there was this character on there who was transgender. She had been born a boy, but she always knew that she was a girl. And the whole show was crazy, and the characters were pretty messed up. But there was something about Alexis that really just made sense to me. And while I was watching this insane show, something just clicked. And the point is, I’m transgender. I’m not a girl; I never have been. And I want to stop having to pretend. I want people to realise that I’m a guy. But mostly, I just needed to tell you because you’re my best friend, and ever since I figured it out, it’s felt like I’ve been lying to you. I hated that, but I didn’t know how to tell you. And I’m so scared that you’ll hate me and stop being my friend. And I just don’t know what to do anymore, but I know that I needed to tell you.
Jamie tried to watch Steve’s facial expressions as he read the letter, but couldn’t do it and turned away before he finished, afraid of seeing hatred in his eyes. So, it was a surprise when Steve launched himself off the bed, eyes and cheeks wet with tears, and pulled Jamie into the tightest hug he could manage.
“I could never hate you, Jamie. You’re my best friend. You’re family. Always.”
They were both sobbing openly and collapsed into the bed together, wrapped around each other so securely that it was nearly impossible to tell where one of them ended and the other began. When they had both calmed down a little, Steve wiped the tears off of Jamie’s face and said, “I don’t really know anything about being transgender. Do you think you could explain it more? What it means for you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know a lot either. I Googled some stuff and tried to look at things in the library, but I didn’t want to get caught. I just know that I’m a guy, and I always have been. I just didn’t have the words to describe what I was feeling before, so I just assumed that I really was a girl and I was just different. And it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t really me either.” And after a brief pause, Jamie continued, “You’re the only person I’ve told. Nobody else knows, but do you think when it’s just us, you could call me ‘Buck’ use masculine pronouns? I know ‘Jamie’ can be a guy’s name, but I want something different, and my middle name is ‘Buchanan’ so I thought ‘Buck’ could be short for that…” he trailed off, running out of air.
“You got it, Bucky.”
“Punk! I said ‘Buck’ not ‘Bucky’.”
“You call me ‘Stevie’, jerk.”
And just like that, the two friends were laughing just like always. A weight had been lifted from Bucky’s shoulders, and the world had not yet intruded on their intimate bubble. They laughed until they cried and cried until they laughed, and Bucky spent the night just like so many times before.