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Under the thatch roof of Puqi Shrine just a few feet from Puqi Village, Zhongli chopped vegetables while a pot of unrecognizable stew boiled ominously.
Beside him with his arms resting on the clay counters was Childe, head bowed down. There was a small smile on his face as he listened to the chopping of vegetables.
“Xue Yu Tan Hua.”
“Taizi Dianxia.”
Zhongli chuckled, chopping the poor radish into an uneven shape. “This is the first time you called me that.”
The Ghost King asked, “How do you feel about it?” Zhongli hummed, dumping the irregularly shaped radishes into the pot. He sheepishly smiled. “It feels quite different, compared to how others call me.”
Childe’s orange hair swayed to the side as he tilted his head, his smile never fading. Zhongli noticed that the other always had a bright aura whenever he was around, which he didn’t expect from a Ghost King. “How so?”
The god faced the Ghost King. “It feels… treasured. When some Heavenly Officials call me Taizi Dianxia, it feels as if I’m being mocked,” he explained. Childe frowned and opened his mouth to speak, but Zhongli beat him to it and continued, “Well, enough of me. So you were the bridegroom in disguise who took me away on Mount Yujun.”
Childe turned to face the god and smirked, blue eyes intensely staring at him. Zhongli continued to chop off the top of the carrot, eyes back on the vegetable instead.
“I didn’t pretend to be the groom,” Childe told him. Zhongli asked, “Then, why did you appear on Mount Yujun?”
Suddenly, Childe sauntered close to the god, his breath tickling his ear. Zhongli felt goosebumps, but he quickly brushed them off. “There could be two reasons. First, I came for you.”
Zhongli felt it was a bit presumptuous of him if he thought that way. Heavenly Officials and Ghost Kings never got along, as if they were oil and water. If a Ghost King started to have an interest in a Heavenly Official and vice versa, it would never end pretty for either party.
“Second, I had a lot of spare time to kill. Which one do you think?”
Zhongli finished chopping all the vegetables, so he dumped them back in the mysterious pot of stew and placed down his knife. He wasn’t sure if Ghost Kings like Childe were as busy as Heavenly Officials, so he went for the second option. “Well… if I had to pick, then I think you had lots of spare time.”
The breathing near his ear subsided and Zhongli could feel the other put a good distance between them. He heard the other chuckle. Perhaps that was the right answer, so he didn’t push the matter further.
Although months later, he would truly find that the right answer during that fateful night was the first option.
Zhongli covered the pot with a wooden lid. Childe asked, “Well, how did the Taizi Dianxia find out that I was Xue Yu Tan Hua?”
The god started to list off the characteristics he had observed from their short time together, starting from when they first met on the ox cart to the incident in Banyue Kingdom. “Well, I did exhaust all possible means to test you, and you came out flawless. That meant you were on the Supreme rank, the rank only for Ghost Kings. Plus, Xue Yu Tan Hua is always associated with red, and you only wore red. You were also omnipotent, and when faced with the soldiers of Banyue Kingdom, you were fearless and even jumped down to slay all of them in the Sinner’s Pit.”
With a gentle smile, Zhongli faced the Ghost King. Hei Shui Chen Zhou rarely went out of his aquatic domain, Qing Deng Ye You has not reached the Supreme rank, and Baiyi Huo Shi was dead. Zhongli’s heart trembled whenever the last Great Calamity was mentioned.
“Who else can you be, except the Crimson Rain Sought Flower, Xue Yu Tan Hua. Merely hearing your name would scare the pants off many people. ”
Childe moved back closer, his face dangerously close to the other. “Should I take that as a compliment then?” He asked, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously. The god shrugged his shoulders. He only listed off what the scrolls had described the Ghost King. “You can take it whatever way you wish.”
Suddenly, the jar that held the spirit of the young woman they saved earlier rattled. The two watched as it rolled on the ground and banged on the door. Sharing a look, Zhongli opened the door and saw the jar roll down the stairs and on the dirt ground until it hit a pebble.
The god followed the jar and sat down beside it, looking at the sky. “Although the scenery is different from what we can see in the Northwest, the Milky Way is still splendid. Would you like to take a look, Hu Tao?”
Childe also went out, but he stood by the door instead of sitting beside them. “Gege, she just left the Banyue Kingdom, so she’s still weak. I think it’s best if she stays inside for a while.”
The crickets chirped and the fireflies flew aimlessly around the front yard of the dilapidated Puqi Shrine that was dedicated to the God of Misfortune, Rex Lapis. A few moments later, the jar rattled again and this time, Hu Tao talked.
“ Jiangjun... ?”
“Hm?”
“What… is going to happen to Pei-jiangjun ?”
Zhongli carefully played with one firefly that landed on the grass beside them. “I honestly don’t know. All I know is that he has to be punished for his wrong deeds.”
The ghostly figure of Hu Tao appeared, sitting beside the god. Zhongli had always felt pity towards the young girl. She didn’t have any family left, and she used to get beaten up by people for having mixed blood. At such a young age, she carried the lives of thousands of soldiers, and yet in the end she had to choose between her homeland or the kingdom that took her in.
“Pei-jiangjun isn’t actually that bad. He helped me in the past. Ke Mo used to curse at me, saying I was manipulated by him and many others, but whether he did use me or not, opening the gates was something I chose to do myself,” she explained, her quiet words carried by the wind.
Zhongli sat quietly beside her, and when she was done explaining, he patted the jar’s cover. He knew that Hu Tao felt the pat that was supposed to be on her head, so he chuckled when he saw her cheeks flush.
For a few moments, they watched the autumn leaves fall on the ground.
“I’m sorry for everything, jiangjun.”
Zhongli was confused. Hu Tao kept apologizing to him, even while they were in the Sinner’s Pit. It wasn’t as if she had done something directly towards him, but it may be because of her guilty conscience that was why she kept apologizing. He sighed, “Hu Tao, why do you keep apologizing—“
“I want to save the common people.”
The god paused. Then he quickly held the jar’s cover, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment. “W-Wait—!”
“Jiangjun, you used to say this in the past!”
Those were words he indeed once boldly proclaimed in front of a younger Hu Tao. He cleared his throat, but his cheeks were still as red as Childe’s clothes. Speaking of Childe, Zhongli glanced behind him and saw the other’s amused smile. “Why did you remember those foolish words of mine though?”
Hu Tao reappeared again, this time with her usually cheeky smile. “You once asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up.”
“Hu Tao, what do you want to do when you grow up?”
“Hmm… I honestly don’t know. How about you, jiangjun?”
“Well, my dream as a child was to save the common people.”
“And I knew you said those words earnestly, so I remembered and kept it close to my heart.”
Zhongli sighed, rubbing his temples. Hu Tao continued. “You also said—“
“Nothing can stop you!”
“Do what you think is right!”
“Even if you fall into mud a hundred times, you have to stay strong and get back up.”
“—lots of things like that.”
Embarrassment swallowed the god’s entire being. Zhongli felt like hiding under his straw mat and trying to forget everything, especially with Childe hearing every embarrassing thing he had said years ago.
Was he that kind of person a hundred years ago? He knew that right now, he definitely wasn’t like that person. Saying such things would only make him feel abashed.
Before he could lament how foolish he sounded, Hu Tao spoke up again. “Although right now… I can’t tell what is right and wrong. Jiangjun, I wished to save the common people, as you had said in the past.”
A stray leaf fell on top of the jar. “But in the end, I destroyed the Banyue Kingdom. No matter what I did, it would only end terribly.”
Hu Tao faced him, her eyes searching for something. “Jiangjun, could you tell me exactly where I went wrong? What should I do to save the common people?”
Zhongli was speechless for a moment. For two hundred years, he walked the lands and made several wrong decisions as well. He may have ascended for the third time, but he wasn’t all-knowing like the Empress. He didn’t know if his decisions before and in the future would be the right ones, and if they would haunt him in his dreams at night.
So he replied honestly, “I’m sorry, Hu Tao. I didn’t know the answer to that question back then, and even now. I honestly feel like I haven’t accomplished anything during two hundred years.”
I feel like a failure, Zhongli thought as the young girl beside him went quiet. He didn’t dare to say that thought aloud, but to him and perhaps all the Heavenly Officials, he was a failure of a god.
From the moment Liyue fell, until this exact second.
Zhongli didn’t notice Childe’s mouth turn into a frown.
“Hu Tao wasn’t trapped in Banyue Kingdom. She stayed there at her own will.”
Zhongli closed the door to the shrine, leaving the clay jar outside for a while. He knew that Hu Tao wanted some time to think, so he gave her some space and went back inside with Childe.
“However, Xiao Pei-jiangjun could have just sent a clone to not risk the heavens finding out what he did. Why did he have to go there personally?”
Childe crossed his arms, his head slightly shook as he turned. The mask on the side of his head shook as well, and Zhongli wondered how that mask never fell even as he fought in the Sinner’s Pit. “The clone’s power would be weakened, so it couldn’t dispel any resentment. In order to appease the grudge, he decided that directly feeding people to the vengeful spirits would be enough.”
A smirk appeared on his face. “He probably felt that Hu Tao should no longer be hanged so many times. And…” Childe leaned on the table that held the incense sticks and offerings the villagers gave them a few days ago. “For Heavenly Officials like him, the lives of mortal people are no more important than ants.”
Zhongli hummed, arranging the wilting flowers on the vase. “You said the clone’s power would be weakened. Your clone right now looks powerful though,” he asked. The god watched as Childe took a flower from his hand and twirled it with his slender fingers.
Surprisingly, it bloomed, as if it wasn’t dying mere moments ago. Zhongli blinked at it. Did he have a surplus amount of spiritual energy that even a wilting flower suddenly came back to life?
“Indeed, but this is my real body. Authentic.”
Zhongli frowned, eyebrows furrowed. He leaned forward, arms crossed. “Really?”
Childe’s smirk grew and he opened his mouth to speak more but was cut off when Zhongli gently took his face into his hands, his thumbs caressing the fine lines of his cheekbones. He looked into the blue eyes, trying to see if the body in front of him was truly the real one.
Of course, he was oblivious to Childe’s tumultuous feelings, so he continued to inspect the face until he realized how daring he was for grabbing a Ghost King’s face. The god quickly removed his hands and cleared his throat. “Y-Yes indeed. It doesn’t feel like a clone. Let me just go and check on the soup…”
When he opened the wooden lid, Zhongli sighed. The soup was already burnt, and he knew it couldn’t be salvaged anymore. Childe appeared behind him, looking at the soup without even wincing. “Sorry, it burned. Let me just make another pot, if you’d like.”
Childe smiled. “No need, gege. Let’s just rest early, okay?”
Zhongli acquiesced, following the Ghost King to their shared straw mat. They lay there, Zhongli facing the roof while Childe had his eyes closed.
“Actually, I’m quite curious. You’ve been with me for a while, don’t you need to report back to the Ghost City?” Zhongli asked, glancing at the other.
Childe huffed, “Report? Report to whom? I’m the strongest there, and no one dares to order me around. Everyone does things on their own there, so we don’t meddle in each other’s businesses.”
Zhongli adjusted the red robes he borrowed from Childe, shaping it into a proper pillow. “Oh, so that’s how it is. I thought you were centralized like the Heavenly Court.”
Speaking of the Heavenly Court, it was separated into two: the Middle Heaven Realm, where the deputy generals and deputy gods serve the main god that they were brought under, and the Upper Heaven Realm, where main gods like Xie Lian were included in. Everyone was under the Empress’ rule, and they had a complex system.
“Did you get to meet Qing Deng Ye You ?” Childe huffed at that question, his face contorting into displeasure. “That piece of trash? I visited his domain and yet he ran away like a coward.” His lips then curl into a smirk, as if remembering a happy memory. “That’s when I earned the name Xue Yu Tan Hua.”
“Hm… if you’ve met the other Ghost Kings, then you’ve met Hei Shui Chen Zhou? Are you close to him?”
Hei Shui Chen Zhou, or Black Water Submerging Boats, was part of the Four Great Calamities. From Zhongli’s knowledge, he rarely made a commotion and not a lot of people had seen him. His domain was called the Black Water Demon Lair, located in the South Sea. No one dared to enter his domain, for it was said that once you entered his domain, you would never be able to escape.
Childe replied, “Him? No. There aren’t many in the Ghost Realm that I’m close to. No one has the right to talk to me if they aren’t of the Supreme rank.”
A moment of silence descended upon them.
“What you said earlier… It was pretty good.”
Zhongli turned his head. “Hm?”
A smile. “I want to save the common people.”
The god felt the embarrassment crawling back, so he took the flimsy cloth he called a blanket and hid under it. “Childe… those were such silly words. You should’ve forgotten those words.”
He couldn’t see what Childe was doing, but Zhongli could feel his loose hair being played with. He lowered the blanket and saw the Ghost King twirling his hair, his blue eyes staring at him. “To think of the common people, whether to save or to end them, is something I admire.”
The fingers playing with his hair stopped, and Zhongli could feel them faintly brush against his ear. “Daring to speak… means you have the guts to do it, and the chances of succeeding as well,” the Ghost King whispered, his breath again tickling his reddening ears.
Zhongli quickly covered his ear, earning him a chuckle from the Ghost King. He cleared his throat, completely lowering the flimsy piece of cloth to his waist. “What Hu Tao said was better compared to whatever I said when I was younger.”
With an arm supporting him, Childe faced the god. “Oh? Let me hear them if you don’t mind.”
Sighing, Zhongli began to recount what vague memories he had left of the ruined Kingdom of Liyue. He remembered a small child, who had his right eye covered in bandages. Under the rain, he clutched the red umbrella he gave him.
That was when Zhongli was still the Crowned Prince of Liyue.
“It’s so painful to be alive! Every day, I can’t wait to die! Every day, I want to kill everyone in this world, and then kill myself!”
His left eye shed tears while he shouted in front of him. Zhongli remembered feeling like his heart was squeezed by an unknown force as he watched the young child spout such dark words no kid should say.
“Why am I still alive… Is there even any meaning to being alive?”
Childe shifted. There was a gentle smile on his face. “How did you respond to him?”
Zhongli closed his eyes, “I told him—“
“If you don’t know how to continue living, then live for me. If you don’t know what meaning there is in continuing to live, then use me as your reason to live.”
The god let out a bitter chuckle, “I honestly didn’t know what I was thinking back then. I can’t say such ridiculous words now. It’s already hard enough to be someone’s meaning of life, not to mention trying to save the common people.”
The Ghost King beside him was quiet, his eyes hidden by his hair. Zhongli mused, “I wonder how he is right now.”
Of course, Zhongli knew that if the child didn’t do enough good deeds, he may have not ascended as a Heavenly Official and was probably six foot under. If the young child did heed his words and continued living, then all Zhongli wished was that he led a decent life and died with little regrets.
“It’s brave but foolish to have such ambitions when you were a child.”
Zhongli nodded, “Yes.”
However, Childe returned to facing him with his bright blue eyes. “It may be foolish, but also brave.” Feeling the sincerity behind those words, Zhongli opened his eyes and smiled. “Thank you. I really mean it.”
After a few moments, Childe stretched his arms. “The Taizi Dianxia just bared his soul to me. Are you sure that’s okay?” He asked. The god replied, “Why would it not be okay? Even if you’ve known someone for years, it only takes a day to return to being strangers.”
They may have only been together for a fleeting amount of time, but Zhongli felt there was something with Childe that he found himself gravitating towards. “We met as strangers by chance, and we may separate. If we get along, then we’ll continue to meet, but if we don’t, then we’ll part.”
Somehow, the thought of not meeting this charming young man who was actually the Ghost King that every mortal on land was scared of didn’t sit well with Zhongli. He never felt any malicious intent coming from the Ghost King.
It was as if he just enjoyed being together with Zhongli.
Alas, Childe probably still had responsibilities as the chengzu of Ghost City. Zhongli cannot stop him, so he said, “After all, every banquet in the world must come to an end, so everyone should have their fill while they can.”
After a few moments, Childe spoke, “If… If I’m not good looking—“
The god sputtered, looking at him as if he was crazy. This ‘authentic’ clone of him was already handsome, so how could he say that?
The Ghost King sighed, “I mean if my true form isn’t good-looking, do you still want to see it…?”
Zhongli pondered on that for a moment. Then he answered, “I still want to see it. I’ve always felt that your original form shouldn’t be that bad.” The Ghost King chuckled, an amused smile on his lips.
“That’s not certain. What if I was some hideous beast, who was ugly as a demon and was as disgusting as a malevolent spirit? Would you still want to see it?”
Zhongli felt that as a child, the Ghost King must’ve been bullied for his looks. He did overhear some rumors that the fearsome Xue Yu Tan Hua was disfigured since childhood, so if he was discriminated against from such an early age, then maybe his insecurities about his looks stemmed from there.
It may not be appropriate, but the god patted the Ghost King’s head, his gentle smile unwavering. If he did meet this child before he became a Ghost King, then he would’ve done his utmost to give him a proper childhood.
Childe stiffened under his touch, but he began to relax when Zhongli’s deft fingers played with his orange hair. He carefully removed the mask on his head, a little surprised that it came off so quickly, and placed it somewhere near.
“I still want to see it. I mean, look, we can already sleep together, so we must be at least friends at this point, right?”
The god removed his fingers from the other’s hair. He continued, “Since we’re friends, then we should be honest with each other. It doesn’t really have anything to do with whether your original form is good-looking—Hey, are you okay?”
The Ghost King was trembling, his eyes hidden by his hair. Zhongli was worried he spoke too well and moved him to tears, but Childe then lifted his head and laughed. His eyes were crinkling as his lips curled into a genuine smile.
“Childe!” He shrieked, pushing him by the chest. The Ghost King was still laughing, so the god felt a bit duped by him. He had thought he was crying, but the other was actually laughing!
“Why are you laughing? Did I say something wrong?” He asked indignantly, pouting. Childe wiped his tears, shaking his head. “No, no, gege said nothing wrong! Your words really moved me.”
Zhongli huffed, “You’re so insincere—!”
Childe’s slender but strong fingers curled around his thin wrist, bringing them close to his chest. Zhongli made a strangled noise as he could feel how toned the Ghost King’s chest was.
“I swear… that you won’t find someone more sincere than me on Heaven and Earth.”
Those words resounded in Zhongli’s heart. It was as if Childe was merely returning the favor, touching his heart with his words. Amber eyes faced blue eyes, and the god could feel that the Ghost King was sincere with his words. There was no intent to deceive him.
Faced with overwhelming sincerity, Zhongli turned his face away. He felt his cheeks redden as Childe’s touching words rang inside his head. He was sure that even his ears were like a tomato already.
“F-Forget it. Let’s stop talking now. We should sleep,” he muttered, facing the other side of the makeshift bed. His back was now facing the Ghost King, who was just looking at him with an indescribable look.
The same look reminded him of the young teenager eight hundred years ago. He was the same child he uttered those brave but foolish words to. Before his consciousness faded away to a temporary sleep, Zhongli felt that there was something familiar with Childe’s look.
Clutching the blanket close to his face, Zhongli fell asleep.
The Ghost King, on the other hand, was still awake. He gently twirled another loose stray hair from the god’s silky locks. He brought it close to his face, his lips faintly brushing against it.
The Ghost King’s heart was filled with devotion, but not to a loved one nor to his family. His devotion was only dedicated to the god before him, his reason for living. Years ago, he refused to pass away even after death. He was given many chances to pass on and to reincarnate, and yet he continued to cling to the mortal world.
He could never pass on, especially if it meant leaving his beloved behind.
Childe softly whispered, “Next time when we see each other again… I’ll meet you in my original form.”
When the morning sun hit Zhongli’s face, he woke up to his side empty of Childe.
He quickly stood up and opened the door to the shrine, checking the front yard if the Ghost King was there. He called out his name, “Childe? Childe?!”
No one responded, and in the corner of his eye was the jar that Hu Tao inhabited. He mentally noted to place her jar back inside so that no curious kid would play with it.
The god knew that Childe can’t always be with him, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed that he wasn’t woken up to see him off.
In his inner robes, the cold wind of the morning made him shiver, so he quickly moved to grab Hu Tao’s jar, but when he bent over, he felt something dangle from his neck.
He brought it closer to his face and found that it was a ring. The sunlight hit it perfectly, making it shine bright. In the middle of the ring was a ruby that reminded Zhongli of Childe’s robes.
He wondered where the ring came from, but then the only person he was with last night was Childe. The god smiled, hugging Hu Tao’s jar closer while he inspected the beautiful ring.
“Even in the Kingdom of Liyue, I’ve never seen a ring more brilliant and glittering than this one.”
At such a young age, he was already surrounded by various gems and jewelry that his parents gifted him. He was the Crowned Prince, so his life was bathed in luxury, and yet none of them could hold a candle to the ring that Childe left him with.
With this ring, his fears of never meeting Childe again dissipated. He was sure that with this ring that hung around his neck, the two of them would meet again.
Next time I meet him, I’ll ask him why he gave this to me.
To be Continued…?