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Chapter Text

“Adira!” They could hear their name, screamed by Paul as they disappear into the time rift.

Their senses came back to them all of a sudden, hearing, smelling, sight. It hit them all at once. Their ears were ringing and they could smell fire, they saw flames. They tried to hold their body upright when the ship rocks violently.

“Clear! Out of the way!” They hear someone shout at the other end of the hallway. “We need that last panel!” Micheal shouts. “I have it! Here”. Paul says and installs the last panel while running along with the cart.

Adira was running towards the noise, and when they arrived, something big hit the side of where they were, a big explosion happens, and it only lasted seconds before people started to crawl up again. “Is everyone okay?” Micheal asks and some people respond.

Tilly looks up and sees Paul. “Oh, my- Commander!” She shouts and supports Paul. Micheal looks up as well and sees the big shard in his lower stomach. “Get him to medbay”. Micheal orders. “Come on Commander”. Tilly says and leads Paul to medbay.

Adira slipped by all the chaos, no one was really paying attention. Adira follows Paul and Tilly to medbay. “Doctor Culber”. Tilly yells and tries to hold on to Paul. When Paul slipped away, Tracy comes rushing to his side and holds him together with Tilly.

Hugh looks up from what he was working on. “Paul!” He shouts and guides him to a biobed. When he was laid down, Hugh quickly picked up some tools and returned to his side.

“Hugh?” Paul says softly, trying to focus. “Five inches… It’s deep”. Hugh mutters and looks at Paul again. “Don’t worry, I’m going to take care of you okay?” Hugh says. “M’kay”. Paul mutters as a response while he slips into a deep sleep.

“I thought I could make my home on the enterprise, but then I realized, your my home, so go to sleep now okay, I’ll take care of you, wherever we go from here, we go together”. Hugh says while holding his hand tight. Paul closes his eyes and falls into a coma.

Adira stood there, in the middle of medbay, shocked at what they have just witnessed. They watched Hugh work on Paul, removing the shard while Paul is on the edge of life. It’s not until some people in medbay noticed Adira, standing there, in their 32rd century outfit and badge.

“Who are you?” One of the nurses asks. Adira gasps and stutters, backing away. ‘They can see me’. They thought and rushed out of medbay. They pass Tracy who looks confused at them, running by. When they were out of sight from everyone, they were breathing heavily and sliding their back against a wall, sitting down.

A few moments later, a light appeared, when Adira looks up, they see a portal form. “Oh no, not again”, Adira says and gets up, trying to sprint away but it was to no use, as they were dragged into it, throwing them even further back in time.

Chapter Text

Adira opened their eyes. ‘What the-‘ they immediately think and look around. ‘This doesn’t look like the Discovery’. They thought and got up. It was an open space, they were on a square with tall buildings surrounding them.

They walked and came across an information board. “Earth- Paris”. It read in big letters at the top. “I’m in Paris?” They frowned. They look around and see a lot of Starfleet officers going inside a building. Adira steps towards the building and hides, they look at their uniform.

‘Right, 32rd century outfit is not going to cut it if I want to blend in’. They thought and went to search for the nearest replicator. “Okay, you’ve worked with these things before, briefly”. They mumbled and let the replicator make a new Starfleet uniform in their size.

“Come on, quickly”. They said to the machine and quickly snatched it when it was done. They quickly hid in a supply closet and got changed, once done Adira looked at their 32rd century badge. They could use any help they could get, this being the only advantaged technology from the 32rd century, but they also can’t let it get detected.

After having a quick debate in their head, they decide to access its system and put it in self-destruct mode. Adira put the badge down and covered their ears, watching it countdown and explode, crashing in on itself and disappearing out of existence.

Adira sighs and leaves the closet, wandering around the building. They sneaked past the guards and followed the officers inside.

Once inside, they saw that they all sat down in some sort of big theater room, with a stage and a table in the middle on the far end of the room. Adira sat down among the crowd and watched high-rank admirals and generals sit down at the table.

They still didn’t know what was going on, but they wanted to find out. The admiral who sat in the middle, first gave a speech, talking about the Klingon war and how they managed to end it, with the help of all of Starfleet.

“Then now, let’s begin the honoring ceremony”. She calls. Adira raised their head a little to take a better look as they see officers they recognize coming onto the stage. They all lined up, with Micheal standing up front, with her back turned to the crowd.

Adira gasps as she saw past the officers and saw Paul standing among them. The admiral began to give another speech, which Micheal answered to. Soon after medals were being given to them. ‘Where’s Hugh?’ Adira wonders, as they focus on Paul.

“Commander Paul Stamets, and Doctor Hugh Culber”. The admiral says, calling Hugh his rank and name in a bit of a softer tone. The medal for Paul was pinned onto his uniform, and the other was cradled in his hands.

Adira shakes their head. ‘No, this can’t be true, where is he, he can’t be-‘. Adira their thoughts ran a thousand miles an hour. Once the ceremony was complete, the officers left the stage, leaving the room.

Adira quickly got up and followed, seeing Paul turn away from the crowd and striding through them, passing all the officers who looked concerned. Adira saw as he pushed a door open and left the building to go outside. He sat down on a bench in the park.

Adira hid behind a tree and watched, seeing him look at the medal in his hands and softly stroking its edges, reading Hugh’s name over and over again. Adira’s heart breaks all over again. ‘I can’t leave him like this’. They thought and moved out of their hiding spot, sitting down on the bench next to him.

“It’s a cold night”. They say. Paul sighs. “Mhm”. He mumbles. “CMO, you do medical?” Adira teases, looking at the medal in his hands. Paul huffs. “No, do I look like I do medical? I’m a scientist”. Paul replies, now staring ahead of him.

“Did it belong to someone close to you?” Adira asks, knowing they can cross the line here far more than they should, but they also know that it is important to talk about it. Paul stays silent and looks at the medal in his hands again.

“It belonged to my partner”. Paul says quietly. Adira winced but didn’t make a sound. “It’s funny, Paris is supposed to be the city of love…”. Paul says but trails off, leaving the rest unspoken, nonetheless Adira understands what he was trying to say.

“I know what it’s like to lose someone the closest to you, it hurts like hell but- it will get better, with time”. Adira says. “I’m not so sure about that”. Paul responds, looking up at Adira.

“Oh- well, I should get going, important meetings you know”. Adira says and quickly gets up, walking away. “Wait!” Paul shouts, getting up as well. Adira stops in their tracks, not daring to turn around.

“I know you from somewhere”. Paul says. “Uhm- no, you’re probably mistaking me for someone else”. Adira responds. Paul steps closer and stands Infront of them. “No, I’m sure I do”. Paul responds. “I have a pretty familiar face to a lot of people”. Adira says and continues to walk.

Paul thinks hard and frowns, having the name on the edge of his tongue. “Adira”. Paul calls. Adira froze and turns around slowly.

“You’re not supposed to be here”. Paul says. “Yeah, I know”. Adira responds. “How did you get here?” Paul asks worriedly.

“Time rifts”. Adira responds as a rift opens behind them. Paul his mouth widens in shock.

“Find me, please”. Adira says before they disappear into the rift.

Chapter Text

Adira opens their eyes and looks around. ‘Engineering, I’m back in engineering, the old engineering’. They sigh, aware that they are still trapped in the 23rd century. Adira looks around and lets their eyes fall on the spore cube.

They gasp as they see who is inside, Paul, with his eyes wide open, the blue color in his eyes, faded. When they hear the doors open, they hideaway. They peek and see ginger-colored curls in their vision. ‘Tilly’. They recognize.

“Okay, spore therapy is our last hope to bring you back to us Commander”. Tilly says and taps some things on her Padd. Spores we’re loaded into the spore cube, swarming around Paul’s head, electric pulses passing through them, shocking Paul often.

With every zap, Paul his head moved but mostly because of muscle, straining together as electricity hit it. “Come on”. Tilly mutters and kept watching, hopeful. Tilly looked at the brain scans behind her.

“No, no, come on, we can’t lose you”. Tilly says and looked back at the spore cube. Tilly looks between the spore cube and the screen, seeing his brain patterns fade away, one by one. Adira wanted to look away but couldn’t.

‘Please stay alive’. They silently wished, even though whatever would happen, it will be okay in the end, otherwise he wouldn’t be in the 32rd century.

A few beats later, Paul his heart rate is dropping and failing. The line soon became flat. Tilly gasped and put her hand in Infront of her mouth, tears threatening to fall. The doors to engineering open again and staff from medical came storming in.

“Clear”. One of the doctors said and tried to electroshock his heart back to life. They tried again and again. Tilly her cheeks were now stained with tears, coloring red. The doctor shook her head and took the device off his chest.

“We lost him”. She announces and packs everything back up. “No…”. Tilly whispered and went closer to the glass, laying her hand on it. The medical staff left.

It was quiet, silence was all there is, broken by Tilly’s sobs. “Wherever you are now, I hope he is with you”. They hear her say, having tears of their own.

They needed to keep reminding themself that this was not permanent, that this was something that had happened some time ago, but they couldn’t shake the feeling of loss and silence that fills the air, as they feel being pulled in, they didn’t fight it this time, just like last time with the ceremony in Paris.

Chapter Text

Adira looks up, seeing that they’re in the exact same spot as last time, still hidden away. “I heard there is an esteemed opera house there where they are currently performing, La boheim”. Paul says and smiles softly.

Hugh chuckles. “You're saying you’ll actually sit that through with me?” Hugh asks with a smile. “One last jump- then I’ll have a lot of free time on my hands”. They hear Paul respond, giving a kiss on the lips, and slips his hand out of Hugh’s, stepping into the spore cube.

Hugh steps back and crosses his arms. “Are you ready Mister Stamets?” They hear over the comm. “Ready”. Paul mutters and relaxes. “Initiating spore drive”. An officer announces and starts it up.
“I love you”. Paul says, looking at Hugh through half-lidded eyes. Hugh his face softens and lays his hand on the glass.

Paul smiles until his face scrunches up in pain and he screams at the top of his lungs. The ship lunges and rocks from side to side. The ship divides in two and comes together again, blue light shining everywhere.

Adira held onto something tight until the ship seemed to make it to the other side. Paul takes a deep breath and steps outside the spore cube, losing his footing not even a step further and falling to the floor unconscious.

“Paul!” Hugh yells, rushing to his side. “What is happening?” Tilly questions. “Wha- what is happening to his eyes?” Tilly observes. Paul his eyes fade into a misty milk color, his body twitching.

“He’s having a seizure”. Hugh says and looks at Tracy who comes rushing in. “Paul, Paul!” Hugh shouts, as Adira is being sucked in again.

Adira blinked a few times, being blinded by the light and the white walls of the room. ‘Medbay’. They thought as the doors opened. They quickly rushed to the office and closed the door. They peek through and see Paul being carried inside, being laid on a biobed.

“He seems to be in a subconscious state”. Tracy says and pulls up a screen, stabilizing him. Hugh stands near the bed, holding Paul his hand and dropping a soft kiss on his temple.

Adira squinted their eyes as a bright light appeared, when it faded, the room had changed, but they are still at the same spot. Paul was laying on the opposite biobed, and Hugh was standing next to another, with Tyler sitting on top.

“I’m not saying anything is wrong with you Lieutenant”. Hugh says. “Then what is! I’m not feeling like myself”. Tyler responds. Hugh was about to say something when Paul interrupts.

“Get out of the palace!” He shouts. Hugh and Tyler both look at him. “It will be just a moment”. Hugh apologizes and lowers the containment field around Paul his biobed, standing next to him.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here”. Hugh comforts and gives a kiss on his lips. Paul seems to calm down and his eyes faded back to their usual color.

“Be careful, the enemy is here”. Paul warns through gritted teeth before he is pulled back into the network. Hugh frowns and pulls the containment field back up, letting his hand go over his foot, touching lovingly before he is contained again.

Hugh turns back to Tyler. “Okay, your tests come back clean so there are no signs of what we used to call mind control”. Hugh explains. Tyler bounces his leg, shaking his head. “But we did find this”. Hugh says and, pulls up the screen.

‘The network- Paul being pulled in the network, isn’t this where Hugh dies?’ Adira questions and right at that moment, they hear Tyler abruptly stand up and see him snapping Hugh his neck in one go, leaving Hugh defenseless, body dropping on the ground.

Adira gasps and stumbles over their own feet in horror. They quickly scramble up and peek through again. Tyler leaves medbay, and the containment field around Paul lowers. Adira could see Paul sitting up.

“Hugh?” He calls, frowning at the body on the ground. “Hugh”. He calls again, hopping off the biobed and walking towards the body. “Hugh!” He says louder, grabbing his lover by the face with his hands.

“No, no..”. His voice cracked and turned into sobs. Paul grasps Hugh his body and cradles it close to himself. Adira listened to his cries, them crying as well until it stopped.

Adira peeked again and saw Paul sitting against the wall, rocking Hugh his body from side to side. “The forest..”. He whispers. “The forest”. He repeats. Adira could see that his milky eyes have returned through the flickering light.

Adira came out of their hiding spot and slowly approached them. “I can see him through the trees”. Paul says, staring off into the distance, doesn’t seem to notice Adira. “Paul”. Adira calls, going on their knees and sitting down in front of them.

“I know you probably can’t hear me and don’t know who I am but- I am trying to figure out how to get back but every time- I get sucked further into the past, I need your help, I don’t want to experience more loss”. Adira pleads and lays their hand on Paul his. Adira let their tears fall.

“The forest”. Paul keeps repeating. “Please, I need you”. Adira whispers and feels a force behind them. They look behind them and see another portal.

They try to stop it, by hanging onto Paul his hand, but it slips away as the force is too strong, and they are being sucked in again.

Chapter Text

“Jump one hundred”. Adira hears, being back at their hiding spot. “Jump hundred and one”. They hear a second later. Adira braced themselves, whenever a jump occurred. They look up and see Paul taking rapid breaths and looking to the left and back to the right, far too quickly.

“Jump hundred thirty”. They hear Tilly announce. “Heart rate is evaluating”. They hear Hugh say. “Hugh”. Adira whispers. “His vitals are going through the roof”. Hugh announces, sounding a bit concerned.

“Jump two hundred, eleven”. Tilly says. “He is not going to keep this up, call it off!”. Hugh says. “Do anything you can to keep him, alive doctor”. Lorca says on the Comms. Hugh does as told and administers something to keep him more stable.

“Tilly how many more jumps?” Hugh asks. “About sixty”. Tilly responds. “How are we doing in there lieutenant?” Hugh asks, putting his hand on the glass.

“There are so many, I can see them all”. Paul says and gets another pain rush through his body. Adira watched in fear, gripping tightly around themselves. ‘Please, stop, let this stop’. They plead.

“Jump session complete”. Tilly announces. Hugh went into the spore cube. “Paul?” He calls. Paul turns his head to look at Hugh. “I’m alive”. Paul mutters.

Hugh sighs and unstraps him, leading him out of the spore cube. “Good job Lieutenant, the cloak is disabled”. Lorca announces. “Aye aye, captain”. Paul answered through gritted teeth.

Adira looked behind them and saw a portal again. “No, no, I don’t want to- they’re both alive, right there”. Adira says, but their hands slip and their feet fail, pulling them back into it.

Chapter Text

They open their eyes, looking around. They were still on the ship, The ship didn’t seem quiet anymore, instead, there was music filling their ears. ‘A party?’ That was their first thought. They know they're being pulled further back in time by now and so it was safe to say that this happened before all the other experiences, they just didn’t know how far they went back every time it happened.

As the hallways are empty, they decide to walk around, there was this nagging in their guts, wondering the same thing over and over again. ‘Is Paul alive? Is Hugh alive?’ They wonder as they come close to the mess hall, where the music was becoming louder with every step. Good thing they are wearing a 23rd-century Starfleet uniform by now, so they blend in easily in the crowd.

They approach the mess hall and peek around the corner, seeing two officers making out in the doorpost. Adira slipped right past them, seeing as they were too busy with each other. The doors open and close again, the music being louder than ever before. Adira doesn’t recognize this tune, must have been a 23rd century hit. They thought and stayed in the corner of the room, observing first.

They saw some officers they didn’t recognize, some the same officers they saw on their first trip back. The music stopped for a few seconds and then came back to life. ‘That can’t be right, ships have reluctant power relays, and a backup for the first power back up’. Adira thought.

They are snapped out of their thoughts by Tyler standing on one of the tables and making a toast. Everyone cheered and so the party went on. Adira tilted their head to the side and saw Micheal talking to Tyler.

Adira decides to get closer and so steps towards them along with the side of the wall. Tyler seemed like he was about to say something when the ship comm went off. “Lieutenant Tyler and Micheal Burnham report to the bridge”. They heard. “Saved by the bell”. Tyler says and moves to the turbo lift with Burnham following. Adira debates if they should follow them, they don’t remember Paul or Hugh telling them about a party, so far they know off.

They decide not to, seeing as the bridge is a difficult place to hide, at least they blend in the crowd at the party, and most people were too drunk to notice Adira anyway. They wondered for a few moments until deciding to follow them until they went up to the bridge, drunk officers aren’t going to be a big help with figuring out what went down.

Adira slipped through the doors and quickly followed them, avoiding everyone who made their way through the hallway, a few officers who were doing their daily run, medical staff with a patient, and so on. Adira followed them as near, they could hear what they are talking about.

Once they almost reached the turbo-lift, Adira was shocked as they unexpectedly bumped into someone, they heard materials fall onto the floor along with a storage box. “I’m sorry Lieutenant Stamets, I’m sorry Doctor Culber”. Micheal apologized. Adira lit up and peeked, seeing Micheal stand there with Tyler by her side.

“Why would you apologize for such a random act of psychical interaction, you know, these are the moments that make life so gloriously unpredictable”. Paul says while hugging and patting Micheal on the back.

Adira gasped but also frowned, being taken back by Paul his behavior, thinking it wouldn’t even be Paul if they didn’t see him directly. “My apologies for my partner, lately he’s been- different”. They hear Hugh say. Adira peeked around the corner a bit more and now saw all four of them.

‘they were alive, at least before their deaths’. Their brain reminds them. ‘And came back to life’. They add. “Speaking off different, look at these interfaces my resident genius build for me”. Paul says lovingly. “We’re trying to make his connection to the spore drive more comfortable”. Hugh responds. “You're always looking out for me”. Paul says and puts his hand on Hugh his shoulder and the other on his chest.

“By the way, what’s the deal with you two?” Paul asks. “There is no deal”. Micheal responds. “Burnham would hate to be inappropriate”. Tyler says and turns to the turbo-lift. “What does he mean by that?” Paul asks lightheartedly.

Micheal makes her lip into a thin line and frowns, turning the other way. “What do you mean by that?” Paul asks Tyler. “Okay-“. Hugh mutters and puts a hand in front of Paul, seeing the turbo-lift close.

Hugh picks up whatever he was carrying before it hit the ground and Paul does the same. Hugh sighs. “Paul, I love you but you need to stop asking inappropriate questions”. Hugh says. “Well, I found it more out of curiosity but-“. Paul answers but stops when he sees Hugh his stern face. “Hopefully this spore high stuff will wear off soon”. Hugh says and continues his path, with Paul following close behind.

‘Spore high? Now they get why Paul and Hugh didn’t want to tell them about this whole personality change’. They thought and followed them into engineering. They hid away in the shadows and observed.

It would be a bit creepy if they found out but Adira can’t make a profile for themselves, they would look it up and see that no one pops up in the database, they would be locked up and then they would be further away from home than ever before.

“Okay, this is the last of it”. Hugh sighs and puts the storage box down. He looks up at Paul who was smiling softly as he puts his storage box down. Hugh holds out his hand and Paul takes it, silent communication between them, turning to the doors and walking out, hand in hand. Adira follows and smiles at the sight, off them walking through the hallway, hand in hand until suddenly a red alert could be heard throughout the ship.

Adira gasped and saw the doors at the end of the hallway open, revealing a figure. Paul and Hugh, we’re already moving to get to their stations, lingering with their hands combined until it slipped out of the others hand. Adira saw that the man had a phaser in hand and that Paul was nearing where they were hiding just before Paul could look around the corner, Adira heard a phaser shot, before they could think, they see Paul turning around and sprinting back.

Adira came out of their corner and looked at what was happening. “Hugh!” Paul yelled and lets himself fall onto his knees. Adira could see medical boots attached to two pairs of legs, laying on the ground. They could hear Paul crying now, as he cradles the body in his hands. Adira gasps. ‘No, no this can’t be happening again, dying again? Or rather, has died two times in his life? No that can’t be right’. Adira thought and had tears threatening to fall.

The ship rumbled like it’s been hit. Adira looks up through their clouded vision, they could see a consuming wall of fire, closing in. “No!” Adira yelled which made Paul look up, turning his head towards the sound, he saw someone standing there, very vague because of his tear-stained eyes, before he could do anything else, the fire consumed them all.

Adira opens their eyes, breath hitching and panting, registering that the air is clear and not full of fire. They could hear the music again, as they stand in the same spot as where they started. They feel their body and checked, feeling that they're totally fine. ‘Did it send me back in time again? No, it must be the same day, the music is the same’. They thought and quickly got to the mess hall.

They saw the same two officers making out, and as the door opened, the room was filled with officers, all dancing and having fun. ‘Why weren’t they freaking out? The ship just blew up’. Adira their mind raced as they look around, seeing Micheal among the crowd talking to Tilly again.

“I wanted to ask you if you want to-“. They hear Tyler suddenly say but then the comm activated again. “Lieutenant Tyler and specialist Burnham to the bridge”. It said.

“Duty calls”. Tyler says and moves to the turbo lift with Micheal following. Instead of following Micheal and Tyler, Adira decides to look for Paul and Hugh, making sure they are okay. They take a different hall and end sees them passing by. They want to call out to them and hug them but they can’t.

A few seconds later, they hear things fall onto the ground again. “I’m sorry Lieutenant, I’m sorry Doctor Culber”. They hear Micheal say. Adira is prepared for hearing Paul his unusual self but it doesn’t come. They frown and peek. Paul looks confused, calculating immensely.

Then he shakes his head. “It’s no problem, Burnham”. Paul responds and picks up the storage box, not being his spore high self but also not being too grumpy. Micheal nods and went into the turbolift with Tyler.

‘Was this all a dream? Why is everything happening again, except for small changes, the major change being Paul’. Adira thought and saw Hug hand Paul continuing their path to engineering. Adira follows and hid in a corner again. “That was the last of it”. Hugh says and puts the box down next to Paul. “Yeah”. Paul responds and takes Hugh his hand.

“Wait”. Paul says, holding Hugh back. “Let’s stay here a little longer”. Paul says. Hugh frowns. “You don’t want to go back to our quarters?” He asks. “No, yeah, of course, I want that, just- stay a little longer”. Paul responds, holding Hugh his hands tight. “Okay”. Hugh nods and smiles softly.

“Hugh- you know I love you right?” Paul says, seeming nervous as he looks up. “Of course I know, everyday again”. Hugh answers. Paul nods. “I love you, Hugh, more than anything else in the world”. Paul says. Hugh smiles and looks a bit concerned. “Sweetie are you feeling alright?” Hugh asks, cupping his cheek. “Yes- no, maybe I don’t know, I’ve been having strange deja vu vibes”. Paul chuckles softly, joking at how insane that sounds.

“It’s been a long day, and yesterday you’ve been dealing with the same problem as today here in engineering”. Hugh says. Paul nods. “Yeah your right, I’m probably thinking off something I’ve dreamt”. Paul responds and takes one of Hugh’s hands. Hugh smiles and so they leave engineering.

‘Deja vu- does he notice that it is repeating?’ Adira questions and goes through the doors. Once outside, they felt the ship rock and flames creeping in from the other side of the hall. “Oh no, here we go again”. Adira mutters and runs the other direction. The fire was faster, and soon it surrounded Adira again.

Adira opened their eyes, being in the same hallway again. “Paul”. They said and sprinted, going to the exact spot where they would bump into Micheal and Tyler. Adira looks around, not finding them there, so they try to trace their steps backwards. They end up at the hangar, seeing no one there. In a rush they moved to the mess hall, they move through the crowd keeping their head low.

They look up and see Paul talking to Tyler. Tyler dismisses him and went back to the party. They see Paul gripping at his hair in frustration and turning around, tapping Burnham on her arm, causing her to turn around and look at him. They see him ranting again and Burnham talking back.

A few moments later, the comm sounded again. “Lieutenant Tyler and specialist Burnham report to the bridge”. It said again. Burnham said something that read as a sorry and followed Tyler to the bridge.

Paul frowned and looked down at the ground, frustratingly storming out of the mess hall. Adira followed, seeing Paul stop in the middle of the hallway. “Saru”. He calls which makes Saru stop in his tracks. “Your species sense the coming of death right?” Paul asks. “Yes, that’s correct Lieutenant”. Saru responds.

“Right, so you must be feeling something now because in- uhm around ten minutes or so, this ship is going to explode”. Paul says. “I don’t feel anything lieutenant, and I don’t see how the ship would explode in the next ten minutes”. Saru responds.

“Why doesn’t anyone believe me!” Paul shouts. “Calm down Lieutenant, this stress and panic can be caused by the bonding of your DNA with the tardigrades”. Saru says.

“But- I- I have seen the ship explode, two times already and I think it will happen again”. Paul says. “I can bring you to medbay to check if you are having… hallucinations”. Saru said carefully. Paul considered it for a moment and nodded. “Okay, but if nothing comes out of it-“. Adira could hear before the voices fade away, as Paul is being led to medbay by Saru.

‘He certainly remembers, as do I, but why doesn’t anyone else?’ Adira thought and followed them to medbay. There was no way they would get in medbay without being seen, so they think and remember that there is a Jeffrey tube, right above medbay where they can peek through.

They climbed the ladder and went to the right, peeking through and looking into medbay. They saw Paul sitting on a biobed, and Tracy and Hugh were attending him.

“Hallucinations?” Hugh questions Saru. “Lieutenant Stamets claims to have experienced the ship exploding two times already and thinks it will happen again”. Saru explains. “We’ll run some tests”. Hugh says and nods, instructing Paul to lay down.

Adira wanted to go down there so badly and tell them that he is right, this way Paul wouldn’t even believe himself, and who knows when the last loop will be, ending with the ship exploding, killing them all.

Hugh starts up the machine that scans Paul his mind. “We will have results in about ten minutes”. Hugh says. “That isn’t enough time”. Paul says. Hugh holds his hand and squeezes it encouragingly. Then the ship rumbled and Adira sighed, knowing what time it is. “Here we go again”. Adira sighed and closed their eyes, letting the fire that was raging through the Jeffrey tube consume them.

Adira didn’t waste any time, they immediately ran to the hangar, stopping by the entrance and hiding behind a pile of boxes. “Hugh, go to our quarters, I will meet you there”. Paul says. “Paul, we have to get these boxes-“. Hugh responds but gets interrupted. “Hugh, please, go to our quarters, I need to do something first”. Paul says. “What’s going on?” Hugh asks.

“I don’t want you to get hurt again, please, go directly to our quarters”. Paul says, planting a kiss on Hugh his lips. “Again? Paul!” Hugh calls when Paul is already sprinting out of the hangar. Adira couldn’t do anything but watch, hoping everything will be okay in the end. It must be if they just don’t disrupt the course of the timeline. They will fix this, it’s just a matter of when and how.

In some of the upcoming loops, Adira just sits somewhere among the rest of the officers at the party, other times they are roaming around, just needing to avoid Paul and Harry mud who apparently is a con man who wants to sell the ship to the Klingons and has used a time crystal to create these loops, everyone else would forget them anyways.

The thing is, Paul is unpredictable in the time loops, one moment he is there and in the other he would be somewhere else, trying different tactics. At one point he convinced Micheal while they were running out of time. In one other loop, Adira was wandering around, coming across Micheal and Paul.

“Well, you like him, that makes things, difficult”. He says. “I’m out of my element here”. Micheal says. Paul taps his fingers a few times, thinking. “Dance with me”. He says. Micheal raises a brow.
“For science, I need to see what I’m working with”. Paul answers. “How do people connect in that way?” Micheal asks, letting Paul lead her.

“Well, Hugh and I fell in love after I told him to get lost”. Paul responds. “That doesn’t seem logical”. Micheal says. “Love isn’t logical, would you let me lead please?” Paul asks. Micheal took a step back and fell back into rhythm, letting Paul lead. “I was in this wonderful cafe on Alpha Centauri”. Paul began to tell and Adira smiles, having heard this story a few times.

“But after such a rude exchange, why would he do that?” Micheal asks at the end of the story. “I told him how I really felt, and he did the same, and we liked that about each other”. Paul responds. “I’m good at honesty”. Micheal nods. “Never hide who you truly are, that’s the only way relationships work”. Paul says. Then he grabs his communicator.

“We’re out of time in this loop, you’ll do better on the next go around”. He says and huffs. “You have to”. He adds, with a soft smile. Adira comes out of their corner, standing in the hallway in front of them.

“Wait!” Adira shouted, not sure if it was at them or the universe, to stop with the explosions. Micheal looked straight up confused at them. Paul looked confused as well. Adira could feel the fire its heat closing in.

Paul was thinking hard, swearing he knows this person from somewhere.

“Adira”. Paul gasps as the fire hits them all.

Chapter Text

Adira gasped for air as they roll over, coughing out the last bit of smoke and inhaling fresh air. They sit up and frown as they see complete darkness in Infront of them. They get up and walk over, stretching out their hand and hitting a containment field.

Adira squinted their eyes and tried to see through the darkness when suddenly something big moved in there. “Ah!” Adira shouts and falls back, seeing a giant kind of animal, walking around the small cage. Adira sat up and looked at it again.

‘That looks like a… “Tardigrade!”. They say out loud. They have never seen a tardigrade in real life, only on simulations and 3d- images. “How far back did I go this time?” Adira questions as they look around the room, being filled with all kinds of weird-looking stuff.

Adira looks at the cage again and debates if they should let it out or not. Now that the shock has worn off, the creature looks sad and depressed, making low humming noises and dropping itself down again on the ground.

“I’m sorry buddy, I don’t have any spores with me”. Adira apologizes. “I need to find Paul”. They say while typing away on a Padd they found. They override the security and locked on to Paul his location.

“Engineering, of course”. Adira rolls their eyes and strode out of the room, taking Jeffrey's tubes to get to engineering, they climbed down and hid away again. The only one in the room was Paul, who was staring at the spore cube intensely, Adira saw regret and sadness written all over his face.

“Ready to make the jump Lieutenant?” They hear over the Comms. “Ready”. Paul responds and turns away from the spore drive, instead, he looks down at one of the workbenches, picking up something carefully, looking thoughtful.

Paul shifts his feet once and allows a part of whatever he was holding, shine into the light, reflecting it. Paul took a deep breath and moved it closer to his arm.

A grunt and some uncomfortable noises later, he lays it back onto the station and turns around, stroking the spot he injected with his other arm as he steps into the spore cube.

Adira gasps, seeing the interfaces in the spore cube, being two long rods instead of the rods that used to connect to his interfaces on his arms. The long rods started to move and Paul closed his eyes.

When the rods were in position, they sped forward, slamming themselves into Paul his body, into his sides. Paul screamed at the top of his lungs as spores poured down into the spore drive. Adira had to hold onto something as the ship divided and came together again when the road was bumpier than they have ever experienced before.

When it was over, the rods left his body, when they were not holding him upright anymore, Paul fell immediately to the ground, blood seeping out of his sides.

Adira shakes their head and shocked when the doors to engineering opened. Saru came striding in, opening up the spore drive and kneeling down next to Paul. He turns Paul around.

“Lieutenant?” Saru calls concerned. After a few seconds of silence, laughter-filled their ears. “Did I- did it work?” Paul asks. “Well, yes-“. Saru answers. That throws Paul into another laughing fit.

“It worked!” He cheered as engineering filled with more people. “Paul!” Hugh calls and checks him. “What have you done to yourself?” Hugh mutters. Paul turns his head to Hugh and smiles.

“I saw it, it is beautiful”. Paul says dreamily. “He seems to have injected himself with the tardigrade DNA sample”. Saru says.

“Oh, Paul”. Hugh whispers and helps the others to get him to medbay.

Adira followed and waited until most of the staff their shifts were over and Paul was put to rest. Adira slipped into medbay. Paul seems to turn his head a few times, having his eyes still closed.

“Adira”. He mutters. Adira shocks and freezes. “I am looking”. Paul then says, turning his head to look at them. Adira steps closer to the biobed, frowning.

“You’re making it rather difficult”. Paul says, chuckling. “Who is looking? For me?” Adira questions. “I am, for you”. Paul answers. “Future Paul”. Adira whispers. “I will find you”. Paul says.

Adira holds his hand and nods. “I’m sorry I can’t stay in one place, every time someone detects me, I am thrown back further into your past”. Adira says.

“I am close to finding you”. Paul says with determined eyes, squeezing Adira their hand reassuringly. Adira nods as a reply and cracks a smile before hugging Paul. Paul hugs back and sees a portal forming behind Adira.

Adira looks up and looks behind them, seeing the portal. They look back concerned at Paul. “I will bring you home”. Paul says and gives a small smile, feeling their hands slip away. Adira tried to hold on but their hand eventually slipped away as they were sucked back into the rift.

Chapter Text

Adira opens their eyes. ‘This is not the Discovery’. Was their first thought, looking around the building. “In a few weeks, it will be done”. Adira hears an unknown voice say. Adira peeks around the corner and sees Paul standing in front of a big window with an unknown man. They had view on what Adira guesses is the Discovery, being built.

Paul looks down at the ground and then back up again, staring at the structure. “I know you're going to miss him, I have to leave my wife behind as well”. Justin says. “This is going to keep us apart, and if something happens-“. Paul says and cuts off.

“They find it quicker if we work separately, we have a war to win”. Justin replies. “I just find It to be difficult”. Paul says. Justin put his hand on Paul his shoulder and looked back at the structure while Paul never took his eyes off it.

Adira frowns. ‘He doesn’t know Hugh will be stationed on the same ship’. Adira thought. “Where’s Hugh now?” Justin asks. “He’s in surgery, probably will be for the rest of the afternoon”. Paul replies.

“I’ll see you in the lab”. Justin says and gives Paul a pat on his shoulder before walking away. Adira lights up. ‘Paul and Justin their lab’. They thought and followed Justin after giving Paul one last glance.

They slipped through the doors when Justin scanned and hid somewhere. When Justin was out of sight, they come out and have a look around at the various machines and specimens in the lab.

Adira gasps and looks at a specimen locked in a test tube. “I’ve read about these”. They whisper, remembering it out of a book Paul gave them, an actual paper one. They walk further and move into a room. Adira gasps as they saw what was in front of them.

“A prototype of the spore drive”. Adira whispers and looks further into the room. “Two prototypes”. They say as they lay their eyes upon a second one.

“Excuse me”. A voice says, coming from behind Adira. They turn around and look Paul directly into his eyes. “You are not authorized to be here”. Paul says. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I was looking for the restroom”. Adira replies.

Paul opens the door and gestures for them to leave. Adira frowns and leaves through the door. They turn around and look at him again. Paul frowns now as well and raises a brow. “Sorry”. Adira apologizes again and slowly turns away.

“Is there something I can help you with?” Paul asks annoyed. “You don’t remember me”. Adira answers. “Pardon?” Paul says.

“I’m Adira”. Adira says with a raised brow, after a few moments of Paul staring at them with confusion, they sigh and turn away, walking away.

“Adira”. Paul calls. Adira stops in their tracks and turns around. “So you do remember me”. Adira says. “Yes- what are you doing?” Paul says.

“I’m making it easier for you to find me”. Adira replies. Paul sighs. “I can see that but now-“. Paul responds but gets cut off when a rift appears.

“Tell yourself to hurry”. Adira says and gets sucked back in.

Chapter Text

Adira stumbles against a wall when they are thrown out the rift. They scrambled to their feet and dusts their uniform off. ‘Need to work on the landing’. Adira thought and perked up when they heard voices.

“Starfleet requires you both”. An admiral says. They see Paul and Justin standing side by side, both looking at the Padd in Paul his hands. “We don’t really have a choice now, do we?” Paul responds.

“We believe that your research has a lot of potential to win the war”. The admiral says. Paul closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, looking up at Justin who opens his mouth to say something that doesn’t need to be discussed anymore.

“Paul, we have to help, if we don’t, the Klingons could win this war”. Justin mutters. “As long the project stays under our name”. Paul says. “Of course, Everything will remain rightfully yours”. The admiral responds.

Paul looks back at the Padd and reads it all for the tenth time before signing it. He then hands it over to Justin who signs as well. “Thank you gentleman, there will be members of Starfleet here shortly to escort you”. The admiral says and turns away.

Paul sighs. “I feel like we just sold our souls”. Paul says. “If we don’t do this, the entire galaxy would be at risk”. Justin responds and lays his hand on Paul his shoulder. “Yeah, I guess your right”. Paul nods.

“Come on, there is work to be done”. Justin pats him on the shoulder and walks back to the lab. Paul nods and follows, making brief eye contact with Adira, before he could do anything, a rift opens and sucks Adira back inside.

Chapter Text

Adira crawls to their feet, seeing they landed in between some bushes. They step out of them and look around. “Wow”. They breathed and looked around. “Alpha Centauri”. They muttered and smiles at the glorious sight.

Adira looks beside them and sees they landed close to a café. A specific café.

They quickly got inside and saw Paul sitting by the bar, reading something on his Padd intensely. Adira looks beside them and sits down at a table.

They look up and see Hugh sitting three seats down from Paul, humming what Adira guesses must be Kasselian opera. They have told this story at least a million times to Adira, but now they get to experience it.

Soon enough Paul sighs frustrated and glances up. “Stifle it, or sit somewhere else”. He says through gritted teeth. Hugh stops humming and glances at Paul. He then smiles softly and gets up, sitting down next to him.

Paul frowns and now looks beside him, placing his Padd on the counter and turning in Hugh his direction, having the annoyed expression on his face. Paul raises a brow, waiting for Hugh to say something.

“Can I buy you a drink? As an apology for bothering you”. Hugh says. Paul snorts offended and looks at Hugh again, with a more confused expression now since Hugh his smile hasn’t flatted, showing his white teeth.

“Oh, you’re ser- sure, you know that Kasselian opera can’t be replicated by human vocals? And you were off-key”. Paul says. “You know off Kasselian opera?” Hugh asks surprised.

”Unfortunately, my roommate at college played it all the time and it drove me insane”. Paul responds. “Well, I’m sure you’ll appreciate it more when you give it a listen once in a while”. Hugh says.

“No thank you, you just have terrible music taste”. Paul responds. “Or you do”. Hugh says with a teasing smile. Paul rolls his eyes and looks straight ahead. Hugh his smile got even brighter and calls for the bartender.

“Nonalcoholic”. Hugh says and looks at Paul. Paul gives his silent approval. Hugh smiles and orders two of the same for them both. “What are you working on?” Hugh asks.

“Something more complex than I suspect someone from medical to understand”. Paul responds. “Your Starfleet?” Hugh asks. “Oh no, never”. Paul chuckles.

Hugh raises a brow and takes a sip from his drink. “Try me, what do you do for work?”. Hugh asks and gestures to the Padd with his glass.

“I’m an astromycologist”. Paul says. “Mushrooms, in space?” Hugh responds. Paul huffs and looks irritated. “It’s more complicated than that”. Paul comments. “I’m sure it is”. Hugh responds genuinely.

“I can’t tell you much about it even if I wanted to”. Paul says. “Teleportation?” Hugh says, reading some stuff on the Padd. Paul picks up the Padd and turns it off.

“Not exactly, it’s more moving from one place to another, passing through a subspace we call the mycelial network”. Paul responds, a little surprised by Hugh. “The path that connects all of mycelia”.
Hugh says. “Yeah, sort off”. Paul responds and smiles softly.

“Not bad for someone medical right?” Hugh teases. “Yeah, for a Starfleet doctor”. Paul responds. “Starfleet stands for something, I wonder what you stand for”. Hugh says. Paul looks at him curiously.

This went on for at least an hour, then it turned into two hours, then even five. They talk non stop and the more they did the more Paul seemed to open up, the more they seemed to fall in love.

It didn’t matter how long it took, because Adira was here for it, they hung at their lips and watched the whole thing play out, understanding them both better at every word. They kept talking until Paul his Padd went off.

“Oh-“. Paul mutters and picks up his Padd, sliding off the barstool. “I’m sorry, I’m needed in the lab”. Paul says. “Oh, let me give you my number, so we could further discuss your horrible music taste”. Hugh says.

Paul stood perplexed for a few seconds before nodding and handing his Padd. “There is nothing wrong with my music taste”. Paul teased and left, waving goodbye. Hugh smiles and waves back until Paul was out of sight.

Hugh smiled and takes a look at his own device, seeing the new number added, Paul Stamets, he reads and smiles. Adira smiles as well but then remembers that they don’t belong in this timeline.

‘Maybe if I stay here it will be easier for someone to find me, especially Paul, who would come walking into this café’. They thought and looked at the door where other people were coming in. They sigh and get up, casting one last glance at the smiling Hugh before leaving the café to walk around Alpha Centauri.

They remember Paul telling them that the lab wasn’t far from the café, that’s why he always sat there if he needed some peace and quiet while working. They look to their left and see the big building where the lab was 930 years ago for them.

They could also stay here, when there is no war going on, or dangerous missions, but they miss the Discovery, and their little found family, Adira would give anything to just go back there, to the 32nd century, where they know Hugh and Paul are both waiting for them.

They suppose it has become harder for Paul to find them, since last time, Paul recognized them much later than the other times, possibly because he has no tardigrade DNA in his system by then.

Adira keeps walking and didn’t notice a portal opening right in front of them. ‘It’s not only if someone recognizes me’. They thought. “The timeline is trying to fix itself”. Adira says and gets pulled in.

Chapter Text

Adira wakes up, holding their head. The landings or transfers to other timelines is not getting easier. They frown and look around, seeing that they arrived at a college.

‘What if this is it? What if their not thrown into a timeline anymore that has Paul in it?’ Adira thought and panicked a little until their eyes fell on a particular someone, who walked into the building.

It looked like Paul only younger, much younger than in the café, even so, he looked younger in the Café but here he looked just a little older than Adira.

Adira follows quickly and blends in with the crowd, trying to keep up with Paul. At a certain moment, Paul stops at some lockers and opens it, searching for something.

A group of unknown people approach and slam his locker shut. “Well, well, if it isn’t the fun guy”. A young man said. Paul sighs. “Just leave me alone”. Paul responds and opens his locker again.

The guy slams it shut, almost hitting Paul his hand. “I need my stuff for next class”. Paul says. “Oh really? How much money you got?” The man asks. Paul frowns and turns away. The man grabs him by his shirt, holding him back and spinning him around.

“I asked you a question”. He says and searches his pockets. “Let go of me”. Paul says and pushes him away before he grabs Paul again and takes whatever is in his pockets.

“Hey!” A voice came from down the hall. It was Justin, or well a younger version of him. “Let him go”. Justin says and walks to them. The guy lets Paul go and rolled his eyes before gesturing to the others to leave. Paul dusts himself off and looks at Justin.

“You didn’t need to do that”. Paul says. “Yeah, I know, hey, you are Paul Stamets right?” Justin asks. “Yes, who’s asking?” Paul responds. “Well, I read your articles, all of them, I’m somewhat of a mycologist myself”. Justin says.

Paul frowns and picks up the money the guys tried to take from him. “Justin Straal”. Justin introduces and holds out his hand. Paul takes his hand and shakes it.

“I must say, you are brilliant”. Justin says. “Oh, well, I don’t like to flatter myself”. Paul responds. “Well you should, the theories you came up with, they could actually work, how amazing would that be?” Justin says.

“Of course they could work, otherwise it wouldn’t be scientific correct”. Paul huffs. “What if we work together? As science partners”. Justin proposes. Paul thinks and nods.

“That doesn’t sound so terrible”. Paul responds as they walk to the next class together. Adira smiles as they watch the two converse and walk.

They are starting to like this Justin guy, they knew who he was, Paul told them about him from time to time.

Adira notices gravity shifting as they look beside them, seeing another portal. They hoped that this is as far they could go back, maybe the timeline would send them back to the 32nd century now.
Adira lets the portal take them.

Chapter Text

Adira opens their eyes, lighting up as they hoped they were back, but that wasn’t the case as they looked around. This was way different than anything they have seen before, sure there was technology and things flying in the sky but it looked more, earth-like.

Adira gets up and sees that they are on someone’s porch at a house they seem to recognize. ‘Where did Paul come from again? California right?’ They thought and looked at the house.

“Paul’s childhood home”. Adira says as they recognize it from photographs. Soon Adira hears someone approaching, they quickly hid behind the outer walls.

The front door opened and a child stepped outside, closing the door and walking to a nearby tree. Adira didn’t know who it was until the child crouched down to study the mushrooms that were growing under the tree.

“Paul”. Adira blurts out softly. Before they know it, they were stepping towards Paul who still had no idea.

Adira went to approach the child until they were abruptly pulled on their arm, led to the wall again. Adira wanted to scream but their mouth was quickly covered.

Adira forces their eyes open and looked at who it was, when they recognized the person, they stopped squirming and screaming, and just looked at them in utter shock.

The person waits a few seconds and then uncovers their mouth. “Paul”. Adira says. “Adira”. Paul responds and hugs them. Adira hugs back and is completely shocked.

“How- how did you find me? How are you here?” Adira had a million questions. “I came at just the right time, if my younger self have seen you then you could have been sent to a timeline where I don’t exist, you would be stuck there forever”. Paul rants, looking at Adira with stern eyes.

Adira can’t help but smile, hugging Paul tight. “I’m glad you found me”. Adira says. Paul sighs and hugs back. “Me too kiddo”. He responds. “How are we getting home?” Adira asks after a few moments.

“Well-“. Paul was about to answer when a portal opened behind them. Both their eyes went wide and they tried to stay out of it, but the flow just became stronger as it sucked both of them in.

Paul opened his eyes and groaned in discomfort, he got on his knees and saw Adira laying next to him. He shook Adira.

“Adira”. He mutters and saw Adira waking up. “Mhm..”. Adira mutters and sits up.

Paul sees the ground and a shadow forming, looming above them. Paul looks up slowly and makes eye contact with the person.

“You”. Paul gritted. “You”. The person said in sync with him as Paul recognized him as his mirror universe self.