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When Mingi had requested a room to himself last year, he had quoted a need for alone time. Although true, he hadn’t revealed to the rest of the group what purpose he had for his newfound solitude. The other members had no doubt thought some unsavoury things, but Mingi’s thinking was much more innocent. Mingi was a little.
Sharing a house with 7 other men, especially when one was your roommate, it was hard to find any lasting alone time. For the past year since Mingi had started regressing, he had only ever regressed at night, either when Jongho was asleep or when Mingi knew he was tired enough that his little self wouldn’t do anything to out him.
It was relaxing, having space. Every single hour that he was home became a time that Mingi could regress. He didn’t have to worry about outing himself. He could let little Minnie be a kid. It was only in his room, but that was much more space than his bed.
Mingi was happy, but after a while a pattern surfaced. Little Minnie started to appear more and more often and would attempt to leave the room with increasing frequency. It was becoming a problem and Mingi was sure that it would result in his group finding out before he was ready. So Mingi decided that the next time he felt like telling his group, he would.
That time didn’t come for a while but when it did Mingi was sure he was ready. It was after a relatively simple practice day, they had been rehearsing some older choreographies in preparation for their tour. Everyone was reasonably tired and hungry, so the group had moved to one of the company’s Rec rooms. It was just the group in the room and Mingi suddenly got the overwhelming sense that now was a good time.
But before he got the chance, Jongho sat down and cleared his throat. “I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you, hyungs.”
Mingi instantly listened in, as did the rest of the group. It was rare to see the maknae as nervous as he looked at that moment, especially when it came to telling the group something.
“Are you dying?” Seonghwa immediately asked, causing Wooyoung to snicker.
“‘Course not.” Wooyoung said, quickly looking to Jongho, suddenly looking worried, “You’re not, right?”
“I’m not dying, hyung!” Jongho laughed, “It’s not that serious.”
“So you’re sick?” Hongjoong asked, concerned.
Jongho shook his head, “I’m not sick, I’m not dying, there’s nothing wrong with me.”
“So what is it?” Hongjoong pleaded, exasperated.
“I… uh…” Jongho stalled slightly. All of his hyungs looked at him, patiently waiting. Mingi could relate to how Jongho seemed to be feeling. It was exactly how he felt every time he wanted to tell one of his members about his little space.
“You don’t have to worry,” Yunho spoke up, breaking the short silence, “You know none of us will ever judge you for being you, right?”
Jongho hung his head, “I… yeah… sorry.”
“Don’t ever apologise.” Yunho chastised playfully.
“Okay.” Jongho looked around at all of his hyungs’ caring faces and took a deep breath, “I’m a little.”
Mingi instantly sucked in a breath, causing San to look at him, but Mingi didn’t care. A little. Jongho was a little. What the- That was the last thing that Mingi ever expected to come out of Jongho’s mouth. For the longest time Mingi thought he was the onl-
“You good, Min?” San questioned, pulling Mingi back to reality.
“Yeah, I… uh…” Mingi stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m just surprised I never noticed, y’know, being his roommate and all.”
“You know what littles are?” Jongho asked, looking at Mingi with wide eyes. Crap, Mingi didn’t mean to out himself.
“Yeah,” Mingi started, completely winging it, “I read about it in a fanfic and I liked it.”
What? Mingi what? You liked it? You idi-
“Wow! That’s so cool!” Jongho exclaimed, looking around at his other hyungs’ still confused faces as they tried to figure out what the two were talking about. “Maybe you can help me explain it to the hyungs.”
Mingi didn’t really have a choice, did he? “Sure?”
That’s how Mingi got roped into spending the next half hour helping Jongho explain to the rest of the group what littles are, how regressing can help people with stress and how they can help. The rest of the members listened intently, asking questions and being generally accepting, which made Mingi question why he was ever worried to come out to his best friends. He almost outed himself approximately six times, but no one questioned it.
Two days later saw a full day off for the group, so they decided to utilise it to help Jongho acclimatise his little side to having the entire group around, as Mingi and Jongho had suggested. The rest of the group had volunteered Mingi to be the one to bring Little Jongie out to play, since he seemed to know a lot about how to handle littles. The truth was, Mingi had no idea to handle another little, he knew how to handle Minnie, but he didn’t think that really counted.
It didn’t take Jongho long to regress, which shocked Mingi, considering how nervous the younger boy seemed earlier. It had been about fifteen minutes since Jongho had locked the door when it opened. Mingi, who was sat in the hall opposite Jongho, Yeosang and Wooyoung’s door, sat up straighter, getting ready to get up. As the door opened more, Mingi saw Jongie with a pacifier in his mouth and a bear about the size of his torso locked in his arms.
Mingi pushed down the spike of jealousy that threatened to erupt from his gut, smiling at the little, “Hey, Jongie!”
Jongie gave Mingi a small wave. Mingi figured he didn’t want to talk, which was fine, and asked, “You wanna go meet your hyungies?”
Jongie gave a small nod, presenting his hand for Mingi to take. Mingi did so, leading the little to the living room, where the rest of the group were waiting, along with some toys which they had purchased for little Jongie earlier that day. Mingi did his best not to think about the toys as they walked towards the living room. As soon as they crossed the doorway all six heads inside swivelled to look at the arrivals.
Instantly Seonghwa took Jongie’s hand from Mingi, which he gladly relinquished. As Seonghwa lead the little to the floor where Wooyoung, San and Hongjoong sat, Mingi took a seat on the couch next to Yunho, who didn’t spare him a single glance.
That’s where Mingi stayed for the next hour, sitting on the couch, trying to ignore his little side and his jealousy and all the other emotions that were running through his head as he watched the Little being taken care of by every person that he was so afraid of telling his own secret to and was now regretting because all he ever wanted was to be treated as Jongho was being treated by the people he loved most. Other than his mother.
It was a form of torture. Watching Jongho, or Jongie rather, living his dream. He wanted to say something so bad. It was on the tip of his tongue all day. The more he watched Jongie get doted on and played with the more Mingi felt he should speak up. But he stopped himself. He didn’t want to spoil it for Jongho.
So he sucked it up. He didn’t say anything for the day, or the subsequent days that Jongho would regress. It became a normal thing, Jongho regressing. He regressed any time he needed to while they were home, there was always someone around to take care of him. Jongie was a quiet little, a good little, Mingi knew his Minnie was devious in comparison.
It was about two months after Jongho first regressed that Mingi finally started feeling it. He barely ever regressed anymore, back to only regressing at night when he really needed to, right before he went to sleep. It was taking its toll. He was more tired and more stressed than he had been in a while. He knew he needed help, he just didn’t know how to ask for it.
The group were having a full day off, Jongie was on the loose and everything was going well. Mingi hadn’t left his room all day, not wanting to see the little in order to prevent some of the jealousy he was already feeling. He had to exit eventually though, at least to use the bathroom and obtain food. It was about 2pm when he finally decided to leave his room, hoping that he wouldn’t run into his little friend.
He was out of luck. He got three steps into the hallway when Jongie came racing up behind him, asking where he’d been all day, saying that he had missed his Mingi-hyung. Mingi couldn’t hold it back anymore, openly crying as Jongie looked on in bewilderment, wondering if he had made his Mingi-hyung cry. Seonghwa was the first to rush up, calling one of the other members to come get Jongie and pulling Mingi into his arms.
Mingi completely broke down as soon as he felt his hyung’s warm embrace. He pulled Seonghwa to the ground as he slipped into little space. Seonghwa kept ahold on him, resting both of them against the wall as Minnie cried. He didn’t ask questions, just let the boy cry. Eventually, Minnie lifted his head up, his tears reduced to a sniffle, loosening his grip on Seonghwa, clearly moving to stand.
“Mingi-ya!” Seonghwa pulled the boy back down, “Don’t run away, tell me what’s wrong.”
Minnie fervently shook his head, trying to stand up again, to no luck.
“What’s wrong, Mingi?”
“Not Mingi,” Minnie shook his head, leaning into Seonghwa, “‘m Minnie.”
Seonghwa’s eyes widened, giving the boy a once over, “You’re little?”
“Mm” Minnie hummed affirmatively.
“Okay…. okay.” Seonghwa took a deep breath, “We can work with that. How old are you, bub?”
Minnie held up three fingers.
“Are you able to talk?”
A shrug.
“That’s okay.” Seonghwa smiled, sighing in relief feeling most of his worry leave him. “Do you want me to carry you, or would you like to walk? We need to get some food into you.”
Mingi began to stand, Seonghwa following, and walked towards the bathroom. As he got to the door, he looked at Seonghwa and shook his head.
“You wanna go on your own?” Seonghwa asked. Mingi nodded. “Okay, but make sure to wash your hands.”
Mingi nodded and went into the bathroom. He only took two minutes, coming out with wet hands.
“Minnie, you need to dry them too.” Seonghwa laughed, Minnie giggling along. Seonghwa helped the little dry his hands. He then asked, “Hey Minnie, are you okay to meet the rest of the hyungs?”
Minnie looked at his hyung, obviously thinking. He then nodded, taking ahold of Seonghwa’s hand. Seonghwa smiled at the little, leading him out of the bathroom. When in the hallway, Seonghwa spotted Yeosang heading towards them and called out to him.
“Hey Sang-ah?” Seonghwa started, “Can you please go to wherever everyone is and warn them that Mingi’s little and to not ask any questions just go with it?”
“Uh…” Yeosang looked between Seonghwa, Minnie and their linked hands before nodding, “Mingi’s little, no questions asked. Cool.”
“Oh, and his name’s Minnie.”
“Cute.” Yeosang headed to the living room and Seonghwa turned towards Mingi.
“Do you have any little stuff, Minnie?” Minnie’s eyes immediately lit up and he pulled Seonghwa to his room. Minnie immediately started reaching under his bed, pulling out a blue bag. Out of the bag he pulled a blue elephant plushie and a red pacifier, giving them both to Seonghwa. He then closed the bag up and shoved it back under his bed, holding his hand out for his items.
Seonghwa passed the plushie to Minnie, pulling a wet wipe out of a bag at the door and wiping down the pacifier before handing it to Minnie, “There, clean.”
Minnie smiled at Seonghwa before putting the pacifier in his mouth and sticking out the hand not holding his plush. Just as the two exited Mingi’s room, Yeosang stuck his head out the living room door, giving Seonghwa a thumbs up. Seonghwa squeezed Minnie’s hand, more for himself than the little, and headed towards the living room.
As soon as Minnie’s head came into view, Jongie lept up from where he was sitting on Yunho’s lap, running towards the other little, bear in hand. They met in a hug, the younger little jumping up and down into it, Minnie gradually joining in.
“Big hyung Minnie!” Jongie exclaimed, “Jongie happy Minnie little like Jongie!”
“Minnie happy Minnie little.” Minnie smiled brightly, creating smiles across the room.
“Minnie?” Jongie suddenly stopped jumping, looking at Minnie kind of seriously.
“Yeah?” Minnie cocked it head at Jongie.
“Why Minnie not tell Jongie Minnie little like Jongie?” Minnie looked scared all of a sudden. “Minnie okay?”
Minnie shook his head, trying not to cry, “Minnie didn’t wanna take hyungs away from Jongie.”
All of the other members looked around at each other, how long had Mingi been feeling that way?
“It okay!” Jongie smiled innocently, “Hyungies will love both Jongie and Minnie the same!”
“Promise?” Minnie asked timidly.
“Promise!” Jongie exclaimed.
“Promise?” Minnie looked around at the caregivers.
“Of course, Minnie.” Seonghwa smiled at the boy. Minnie smiled back, looking at the rest of the caregivers similar smiles, “We will always love you, Minnie. We will never stop loving you, Minnie.”
Minnie’s nerves finally calmed. He knew he was going to be alright. After all, he had the best caregivers, and an even better younger brother.