Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“No one’s going to recognize you.”

Scoffing at the confidence in Kara’s tone as they stepped through the front entrance, Alex pulled her beanie further down on her forehead, sweeping her long hair over her shoulder and adjusting her black-rimmed glasses. Glasses that were actually necessary for her vision. Unlike the frames adorning Kara’s face that somehow changed her appearance enough that she could go out in public and no one gave her a second glance. At least Alex’s wardrobe of jeans, tank top, flannel, and Chucks was her normal, everyday wear and so different from what she wore when performing that almost no one recognized her. 

Looking around at the nearly full room, memories washed over Alex. She could picture her six-year-old self watching her parents perform on The Bluebird’s small stage for a packed house. The feeling of fear and excitement bubbling in her veins still rushed through Alex as she thought back to her and Kara’s debut at The Bluebird seventeen years later. 

Alex blinked back to the present at the feel of Kara’s hand grasping her wrist as the sisters squeezed past a group of people chatting inside the doorway. She once again took in the number of people already filling the space.

“Is there going to be anywhere left to sit?”

“J’onn called and talked to Dave. He said he’d make sure we had a table.” Kara led the way through the crowd and toward the stage. She picked up a reserved card from the lone empty table and held it toward Alex, grinning.

One glance at the name had Alex rolling her eyes. Regina Phalange was scrawled across the card, and it still baffled Alex as to how Kara had convinced J’onn to use the name whenever they needed reservations.

Taking their seats, Alex glanced around at the framed pictures of various country artists that had played The Bluebird over the years. Her eyes scanned familiar faces before easily finding the photograph of Eliza and Jeremiah. Honestly, Alex could have located the picture with her eyes closed as many times as she’d looked at the framed photo of her parents anytime she was in this space. 

Pulling her gaze from the wall of pictures, Alex eyed the nearby bar, longing for a beer. Before she could move from her seat, Alex’s plans were thwarted as the host for the evening’s show stepped onto the small stage and began explaining the setup for the evening. Alex recognized him as a songwriter she and Kara had worked with once or twice early in their career. She was relieved when he glanced in their direction but showed no hint of recognition.

The first performer took the stage, a young girl with a guitar and a delicate voice. She performed her three songs, mostly about young heartache, and Alex was reminded of her days as a teenager; sitting in her bedroom, picking at her father’s old guitar, and trying her hand at writing songs. 

The next performance was a male duo, best friends since childhood according to the short introductory story they told. As Alex listened to their songs about the one that got away and causing trouble with drinking buddies, the duo’s music style had Alex thinking of the records her parents used to play when she was a little girl. The twangy sound of Willie Nelson or Tammy Wynette filling the house as she and Kara played. 

As the men left the stage at the end of their set, Alex felt her phone vibrate. She pulled it from her back pocket and glanced at the message, a question from her mother about her and Kara’s upcoming tour. As Alex typed back a response, she felt an elbow dig into her side as Kara’s way of letting her know the next group was the one they had come to the cafe to see. Alex threw an irritated glance at her sister before going back to her phone to finish typing her message. The sound of a silky, sultry voice coming from the stage drew Alex’s eyes up and away from her phone.

Two men sat on either side and toward the back of the small stage, one at a set of drums and the other at a keyboard. But the person that had Alex’s attention was the woman sitting on a stool in the middle, acoustic guitar resting on her legs. Taking in the sight before her, Alex looked the other woman over, appreciating her style. She wore a casual, white button-up with the sleeves rolled to her elbows, dark wash skinny jeans, brown ankle boots, and a brown wool Panama hat sitting atop her long, flowing, black hair. Wondering if the woman’s hair felt as soft as it looked flitted across Alex’s mind. As the woman continued to speak, Alex felt herself being drawn in and set her phone on the table, unsure if she had actually hit send on her response and uncaring.

“So this tall drink of water to my right is James, and yes, ladies, he is single,” the woman smirked as a few whoops and whistles came from the audience. James threw a hand up to wave as he grinned at his bandmate’s antics. Pointing over her left shoulder, the woman continued, “And this fella here is Winn. If lovable nerds are your thing, then this guy is for you.”

“Hey!” Winn shouted back but laughed good-naturedly.

“Sorry, buddy. You know I love you, but I gotta keep it honest,” the woman responded, smiling wide.

At the sight of two deep dimples in the woman’s cheeks, Alex felt a fluttering in her stomach. At the back of her mind, a voice attempted to whisper that what Alex was feeling was attraction.  

The woman readjusted the guitar on her lap, eyes sweeping the room. “My name is Maggie, and we are The Renegades.”

With that, the group began their first song. Maggie’s eyes slipped closed, seeming to concentrate on her strumming. When she started to sing, Alex was entranced as the voice flowed through the room and enveloped her like a summer breeze.

"I see you watch her from across the room
Dancing her home in your mind
Well, it takes more than whiskey to make that flower bloom"

As Maggie’s voice continued to serenade, Alex’s mind began wandering to places she hadn’t allowed it to in a long time, her emotions creating a war within herself. The draw Alex could feel toward Maggie wasn’t new. She’d felt it before for other women. And every time, Alex had fought it back, pushed it down, and locked it in a box. Well, almost every time.

She wasn’t stupid or naive. Alex knew what these feelings meant, had known since she was young and realized she didn’t like boys the way other girls did. Had known since the day she and her best friend Vicki had a falling out, and Alex finally admitted to herself that her feelings of jealousy were because she had a crush on Vicki. Had known since college when Alex had finally allowed herself to explore these feelings.

Another sharp nudge in the ribs brought Alex’s attention back to the present.

“Lucy was right. They’re really good.” Kara leaned forward in her seat, elbows on the table and chin cradled in her palms as she took in the performance of the group on stage.

"She loves Wild Horses and Tumbling Dice
She don’t have a single tattoo
She’ll drink all the liquor and leave you the ice
That’s too much cologne, she likes perfume"

Maggie’s eyes landed on Alex. Unable to pull her own gaze away, Alex felt heat rise to her cheeks and her heart stutter. Alex was certain a slight smirk appeared on the other woman’s lips, as though she knew exactly the effect she was having. Alex was relieved the moment Maggie looked away, dropping her own eyes to the table in front of her and urging her fluttering heart to calm.

Not for the first time, the list of everything Alex risked losing if it came out that she was gay appeared in her mind. She and Kara had worked hard for their career and had chosen to pave their own way, despite so many people offering the duo a leg up because of who their parents were. It was a career they were both immensely proud of, and their upcoming tour was a testament of their success.

A tour that was the reason for Alex and Kara’s presence tonight. Planning their third run as headliners had been flawless until their original opening act had to drop out mere weeks before the sisters were supposed to be heading out on the road. Alex couldn’t blame Nia for stepping down. She knew how devastating it was to lose a parent so suddenly. But that didn’t change the fact that the tour now had no opening act.

Having convinced J’onn and the record label to let them find an unknown and unsigned artist and give them the rare opportunity of performing on a nationwide tour, Alex and Kara had started their hunt for the current favorites among Lower Broadway. Lucy had mentioned her ex’s band were making a name for themselves at The Bluebird Cafe, and that they might be just what Alex and Kara were looking for to join the tour. 

Alex could admit that Lucy was right. The band was good, and their sound would complement the sisters’ own eclectic style. Now as she watched the band and their frontwoman, Alex could feel attraction bubbling below the surface and found herself worrying that her buried secret would begin to claw its way back to the surface.

The final chord of Maggie and her bandmates’ last song died out as the room filled with applause, and Alex realized she’d missed the rest of their set, lost in the abyss of her own mind. Kara clapping loudly next to her spurred Alex to raise her own hands and clap. She watched as Maggie thanked everyone, her eyes landing on Alex once more before she stepped off of the stage.

Alex followed Maggie’s movements toward the opposite end of the room, convincing herself it was so she and Kara would know where to find the band after the final performance of the night. Half listening to the next two bands, Alex continued to glance in Maggie’s direction every few seconds. She watched the other woman drinking and laughing with her bandmates and a couple of other people that had joined them at their table. One of those other people, a woman with long, blonde hair, placed her hand on Maggie’s arm, and Alex felt irrational jealousy bubble up in her chest.

It wasn’t until Kara was pulling on Alex’s arm that she realized the evening’s show was over. “C’mon. We need to catch them before they leave.”

Alex followed her sister toward the other side of the room where the band was settled in with another round of drinks. As they approached the table, Maggie’s laugh rang out, and Alex felt her stomach flip flop.

Kara stepped up to the group, smiling brightly. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but we wanted to tell you guys how much we loved your set! Your music is so good!”

The enthusiasm was met with a grin from the drummer that was nearly as blinding as Kara’s. “Hey, thanks! Always great to meet fans!”

Alex let her eyes wander to Maggie only to find her seeming to be studying Kara, head tilted to the side and eyes squinted. Suddenly, she straightened, recognition filling her face. “You’re Kara Danvers.”

Kara reached to fidget with her glasses, spluttering unconvincingly, “Um, what? I mean, what...would make you say that?”

Alex dropped her head in her hand with a sigh. 

“Sorry, but the glasses don’t help,” she heard Maggie say.

A strangled sound left Kara’s mouth as she swung around to look at Alex.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I always said the glasses were ridiculous.” Alex held her hands up and shrugged.

Maggie’s laugh pulled Alex’s attention back to the other woman, whose eyes seemed to sparkle as she focused them on Alex and then swept her eyes over Alex from head to toe. “That must make you Alexandra Danvers.”

Able to feel the tips of her ears heat up, Alex shoved her hands in her pockets as she cleared her throat. “You can call me Alex.”

The head tilt was back as Maggie smiled. “Nice to meet you, Alex. And you too, Kara.”

Secret unavoidably out, the cheery smile returned to Kara’s face. “We actually came here tonight to see you perform, and we have an offer for you.”

Maggie’s eyebrows rose, “What kind of offer?”

Kara glanced at Alex who nodded. Turning back, she looked at all three members before speaking again, “We would like your band to be the opening act for our upcoming tour.”

Silence followed as the three stared back. Then Maggie’s eyebrows furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you serious?”

Unsure how to decipher the body language of the woman across from her, Alex stammered out, “Uh, yeah. If….if you’re interested.”

Another moment followed before a wide grin formed on James’ face. He reached over and thumped a shocked Winn on the back as he wrapped an arm around Maggie’s shoulders, pulling her into a side hug. She laughed in shock as James boomed, “Hell yeah, we’re interested!”

In the next instant, Winn was pulling his bandmates into hugs, and then James was insisting that Alex and Kara join them for another round of drinks. Kara was quick to accept, and it wasn’t lost on Alex how her sister’s gaze seemed to linger on James as he went to the bar for more drinks.

Joining the band at the table, Alex gratefully accepted a beer from James when he returned and allowed Kara to take lead in talking about their tour schedule and answering questions. As she sipped on her beer, her eyes drifted to Maggie who was laughing at something Kara had just said, and Alex felt both a spark and a heaviness in her chest.

Chapter Text

Alex’s breath caught in her throat as her back hit the wall.

“I can’t say I haven’t imagined what it would be like to have you in this position.” Maggie’s gaze traveled from Alex’s eyes to her lips.

Alex huffed out a laugh as her head fell back and her eyes slipped closed. “You and me both.”

And then Maggie’s lips grazed her ear. “That so, Danvers?”

The low timbre of the other woman’s voice caused heat to shoot through Alex’s body, landing low in her belly. The usual warning bells telling her this was a bad idea, that she was risking everything, seemed to be momentarily disarmed. Alex knew exactly what she wanted. 

Reaching out, Alex’s fingertips skimmed along Maggie’s hips just above the waist of her jeans. In the next breath, lips soft but urgent pressed against her own, and Alex couldn’t help but dig her fingers deeper into Maggie’s skin.

Time slowed or sped up, Alex wasn’t entirely sure as she sank into the feeling of this woman pressing her against a wall and kissing her with a passion Alex hadn’t felt before in her life. She knew for sure she didn’t want it to stop anytime soon. But time came to a  definite halt at the sound of her sister’s voice.

“Alex?”

The fire in her body was immediately doused as Alex pulled away from Maggie’s lips and met her sister’s look of confusion.

Panic filled her. “Kara.”

“What are you doing?”

Slipping from Maggie’s grasp, Alex took a step toward her sister, hands raised as though approaching a wounded animal. “It’s not what it looks like.”

In an instant, Kara’s eyes shifted from confused to angry. “It looks like you’re putting our entire career at risk. That you’re only thinking about yourself and not how your actions will affect me, too. How could you do this?”

Alex couldn’t stop the tears that began blurring her vision. This was her greatest fear come to life. “Kara, please, just listen.”

Taking a step toward her sister, Kara’s eyes slipped back to confusion. “Alex?”

And then Kara was gone. 

A hand on her arm made Alex jump. Plate slipping from her fingers into the soapy water caused suds to splatter onto the front of Alex’s shirt. And then she blinked rapidly as the kitchen came into focus.

“Alex.” Kara’s voice was more forceful this time, as Alex realized her sister’s hand was squeezing her forearm. 

And just like that, Alex was back in the present, standing at the sink in the kitchen, hands submerged in soapy water. Maggie was gone, but the feelings that had flowed through Alex in her daydream still very present. Including the dread she had felt at the look of anger and disappointment in Kara’s eyes.

Kara squeezed Alex’s arm again. “Are you okay? You’ve been washing that same plate for the past five minutes.”

Reaching to the bottom of the sink, Alex lifted the dish she had dropped. She scrubbed its surface and ran it under the faucet as she cleared her throat. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just got lost in my thoughts. That’s all.”

Alex tried to shoot her sister a reassuring smile, but Kara didn’t appear convinced. Turning her focus back to the sink, Alex turned off the faucet, letting the remaining water swirl down the drain and grabbed a nearby dish towel to dry her hands. She kept her eyes averted, but Alex could feel Kara studying her.

“You’ve been distracted lately,” Kara finally spoke softly.

Scoffing as she draped the towel over the handle of the stove, Alex reached for a glass from a nearby cabinet, buying herself a small amount of time as she filled it with water and took a sip. She knew she’d been acting off since they’d been to The Bluebird. 

Since she’d met Maggie. 

Alex couldn’t get the other woman out of her mind. Long, dark hair, brown eyes, and a dimpled smile appeared in her mind every time she closed her eyes. Alex had been on the verge of searching Maggie’s name online multiple times, but she couldn’t let herself go down that rabbit hole. Alex had been there before. She’d developed crushes on women in the past, allowed herself to look up any information she could find, and imagine what could never be, what she’d never allow herself to have. And in the end, all Alex would have to show for it was deep disappointment and regret. 

This time, Alex wouldn’t let herself go there with Maggie. They would have a friendly working relationship and that was all. Besides, Alex didn’t even know if Maggie was gay, so it could all be a moot point. Unfortunately, her mind didn’t seem to be on the same page.

Alex finally looked up at Kara. Worry filled her sister’s eyes, but Alex could still feel the pit in her stomach at the imagined anger that had been there. Yeah, she’d been distracted, but she couldn’t voice the real reason why. She wouldn’t burden her sister with her secrets. 

Stepping forward, Alex set down her glass and put a hand on Kara’s shoulder. “Seriously, Kar, I’m okay. I’ve just been thinking a lot about the tour.” Alex offered a half-smile. “But I’ll be fine. Especially once we get on the road and into a routine.”

Kara squinted at Alex, as though trying to decide if she believed her sister’s words. Alex held her breath until Kara finally let out her own. 

“Alright. If you’re sure that’s all it is.”

“I’m sure.” Alex pulled Kara into an embrace as she felt her own body sag with relief “Thank you for checking on me though.”

Kara wrapped her arms around Alex, squeezing her tight. “Of course. Stronger together.”

Despite the tendril of guilt for lying, Alex felt a smile spread across her face at the mention of the phrase the sisters had come up with when they were younger and creating dreams of moving to Nashville. It was their reminder that they would always be there for one another, especially whenever one of them was having a difficult time. 

“Stronger together,” Alex repeated softly.

****

A few hours later, the Danvers sisters’ house started filling up with people. Vasquez, their drummer, came with an armload of food. Trailing close behind was their tour manager, Lucy, who plonked a liquor bottle on the counter.

“Brought you a party gift, Alex.”

Eyeing Lucy, Alex picked up the glass bottle, immediately noticing its lightness. “A half-empty bottle of tequila? How generous of you.”

“There might have been some pre-gaming going on,” Lucy shrugged nonchalantly. Then a sly grin spread across her face as she stepped closer so only Alex would be able to hear. “I also thought you could use a little something to avoid the inevitable gay panic when a certain someone shows up.”

Alex’s eyes widened as Lucy stepped back, grin still on her face as she grabbed Vasquez’s hand to pull her girlfriend out onto the deck. Watching the two leave, Alex reminded herself that, despite Lucy’s tendency to be a little shit, she had become her closest friend and someone Alex could talk to about everything.

Alex had met Lucy when she and Kara were on their first tour as an opening act. Mostly working out of the office of the booking agency, the sisters’ interactions with Lucy had been minimal, but they had learned quickly that she was by-the-books, detail-oriented, and no-nonsense. Definitely not fast friends, Alex steered clear of Lucy as much as possible. 

Two years later, the women’s paths crossed at a holiday party thrown by their label. Kara had been occupied with her boyfriend at the time, leaving Alex to nurse her own loneliness at the open bar. Details of that evening remained fuzzy for Alex, but by the end of it, she and Lucy had found themselves in a fire escape stairwell, passing a bottle of scotch between the two of them and baring their souls. 

The women had walked away from that night with an unexpected friendship. For the first time, Alex had someone she could confide in about being gay and her fears surrounding her sexuality and her career. Lucy’s own struggles with her bisexuality gave Alex someone she could relate to. Though Lucy was out and proud now, she understood and accepted Alex’s desire to stay in the closet. 

Looking longingly at the bottle in her hand, Alex itched to pop the top and take a long pull. Instead, she opened a random cabinet and shoved the tequila bottle inside. 

Leaving the kitchen, Alex moved about the house and deck, making sure everything was in place and ready for the gathering, saying hi to various guests as they arrived, keeping an eye out for a certain dark-haired singer. 

Alex was glad that Maggie, James, and Winn were coming to the cookout and would have a chance to meet the rest of the troup before it was time to hit the road. But Alex wanted to be able to be in control of the situation rather than caught off guard by the other woman’s presence.

As she set out plates and utensils, Alex felt a warm hand on her shoulder. A smile spread across her face when she turned to find J’onn and immediately pulled the man into a tight hug.

When Alex and Kara first moved to Nashville, they had kindly but firmly rejected J’onn’s offer to help them. The sisters had known him their entire lives and it was with J’onn that their parents had built their own successful career. J’onn had also helped hold the family together when Jeremiah had died.

And while Alex and Kara were grateful for the man and viewed him as a father figure, they were adamant about paving their own way. They knew Eliza had called and tipped him off that the girls were in Nashville, but they had decided from the beginning that they didn’t want to use their parents’ name or success to get a leg up. 

It wasn’t until J’onn approached them a few months later that he was able to convince Alex and Kara to hear him out. He understood their stance of wanting to be known for their own music and not their parents’, and he had no intentions of using that to their advantage. But what he could do was give them guidance and help them make decisions that would get them noticed and land them a record deal. All on their own merits.

J’onn only had one request. The moment Alex and Kara signed a record deal, he wanted to officially sign on as their manager. They were his family, and he wanted to be the one looking out for them. The sisters agreed to J’onn’s plan and sealed it with a handshake that night.

It was one of the best decisions Alex and Kara had made for their career.

Eight years later, they were preparing for their third national tour as headliners and starting to work on songs for a fourth studio album.

Alex pulled back from the hug and smiled up at J’onn. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

“A cookout with you and Kara? I wouldn’t miss it,” J’onn placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “How are you doing?”

Waving a hand in the air between them, Alex hoped her smile was convincing. “I’m fine. Just trying to make sure I don’t forget anything before we leave.”

J’onn studied Alex’s face, and not for the first time, she wondered if he could actually read her mind. After a moment, he nodded once. “You know if there’s anything that you need, all you have to do is call me.”

“I know, J’onn. Thank you.” Alex looked away, knowing that the words he spoke were true and wishing she were brave enough to share her truth with him.

Nodding once more, J’onn stepped back and held up the slim briefcase in his hand. “I have a few more papers for your new opening act to sign. Have they arrived?”

As Alex opened her mouth to speak, a voice called out from the kitchen entryway.

“Now the party can begin!”

Alex turned to see Winn with his arms outstretched, Maggie and James standing behind him. James laughed, throwing his arm around Winn’s neck to steer him toward the deck where Kara was leading them. (Alex didn’t miss the way Kara’s eyes seemed to linger on James as they walked by.) Maggie spotted Alex and rolled her eyes as she walked toward her.

“You’ll have to excuse, Winn. He often forgets to use his indoor voice.”

Alex could feel her heart rake tick up at Maggie’s proximity. She tried for a laugh, but it came out sounding more like a scoff. Clearing her throat, Alex looked in the direction James and Winn had disappeared. “It’s fine. I’m sure he’s excited.” Alex looked back at Maggie. “Hopefully all of you are?”

“Spend the summer playing bars and open mic nights hoping to get noticed or have the opportunity to tour the country and perform for sold-out crowds?” A smile complete with dimples spread across Maggie’s face. “Yeah, Danvers, we’re pretty excited.”

Alex nearly choked at Maggie using her last name as images from her earlier daydream filled her mind. Maggie pressing her against the wall. Maggie’s breath blowing across her ear. Maggie’s lips pressed against her own.

Voice higher than normal, Alex stammered, “That’s, uh, that’s great. I, um, I have to go check on--on some things, but J’onn has some papers for you and the guys to sign. There’s--there’s a table out on the deck you can use.”

J’onn eyed Alex for a moment before turning to Maggie. “Right this way, Miss Sawyer.”

Maggie’s nose scrunched. “Miss Sawyer is way too genteel for the likes of me. Call me Maggie, please.”

J’onn let out a laugh and nodded. “My apologies, Maggie.”

Before they turned to step away, Maggie seemed to suddenly remember something. “Oh, wait.” She lifted a small tote bag Alex hadn’t realized she’d been carrying. “I hope you don’t mind. I brought some black bean burgers. I wasn’t sure if you’d have any non-meat options, so I thought I’d supply my own. If that’s okay?”

Working through the fog clouding her brain, Alex took the tote from Maggie. “Of course. I’ll make sure these get put on the grill for you.”

“Thanks.” Maggie smiled as she turned toward the door leading to the deck. J’onn gave Alex one more scrutinizing look before following.

Alex turned away, setting the tote on the counter and taking in a deep breath. She was really going to have to get her shit together if she had any hope of making it through this tour without making a fool of herself.

****

Alex spent the next hour busying herself with food prep and carrying items back and forth to Brian, their bass player, who had volunteered as grillmaster for the evening. Alex had made sure to block off a section of the large grill for Maggie’s black bean burgers and supplied Brian with a separate plate for when they were done.

Once all of the food was cooked and everyone else had gotten something to eat, Alex filled her own plate and settled into a spot on the deck amongst her crew and band. Alex listened to the seasoned veterans entertain the rest of the group with stories from the road. Laughing along as a few of the guys tried to outdo one another with their most outrageous memories, Alex eventually found herself looking around at the group of people gathered around her. 

This was her family. Some were new members while others Alex had known for years. Her eyes landed on Joe, their guitarist. He had been an original member of Eliza and Jeremiah’s band. It hadn’t taken much convincing from J’onn for Joe to agree to join the band being formed for Alex and Kara’s first album, and he had been with them ever since.

Others had come and gone over the years, but Alex knew that the success she and Kara had been lucky enough to experience wouldn’t have been possible without every person sitting around her. 

As she continued to look at the surrounding faces, Alex’s eyes stopped on one person in particular. She’d found her gaze drifting toward Maggie every so often, watching how she, James and Winn seemed to fit in with everyone else so seamlessly. It was obvious from today’s interactions that choosing their band for the tour had been a good decision. Alex’s eyes lingered as Maggie laughed at one of the stories currently being regaled, and she felt a flutter in her stomach that was becoming all too familiar. 

Gaze dropping to the table in front of her, Alex urged her body to get itself under control.

As the stories started to dwindle, plates were cleared and food was put away before the group made its way to the backyard. A few of the crew had started a fire in the pit. Brian and Joe strummed on guitars as Vasquez walked through the backyard carrying a cajón before taking her own seat around the fire. Within minutes, the talking and laughter from before had transformed into chords, melodies, and beats. 

Alex could hear the music drift up to the house as she and Kara finished some quick cleaning. Once done, the sisters made their way to join the rest of the group. As they stood at the edge of the circle, Alex felt Kara’s arm wrap around her waist, pulling her closer and laying her head on Alex’s shoulder. The sisters stood like that for a while, Alex appreciating her sister’s presence as they listened to the impromptu concert. 

At the familiar opening chords of one of Eliza and Jeremiah’s lesser-known ballads, Alex felt an ache in her chest. Standing around the fire and watching Joe strum a guitar, Alex was suddenly nine years old again, surrounded by her parents’ friends. She was sitting on her mother’s lap while her father plucked at the strings of the guitar in his. Other instruments joined in, and then her parents were singing. 

A moment later, Alex was brought back to the present as she felt Kara straighten and withdraw her arm. Alex watched Kara step further into the circle as she began to sing and then as Joe filled in for the part that had originally been Jeremiah’s. Memories of the gatherings her parents had held at their own home had led to Alex and Kara starting a similar tradition. And while it was always something Alex enjoyed getting to experience with this expanded family of hers, it also made her realize how much she missed her father. Tonight she was feeling that loss deeply.

As the sting of tears formed behind her eyes, Alex quietly stepped away from the group, making her way toward a treehouse that stood at the back of the property. While she was sure Kara would notice her leaving and would understand why, Alex was unaware of a second pair of eyes following her as she walked away.

Carefully climbing the wooden steps that led to her little hideaway, Alex pulled a single key from her pocket. Unlocking the door, she stepped inside and took a deep breath. She hadn’t been this affected by hearing her parents’ music in a long time, and Alex wasn’t sure why it was happening now.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t entirely true. 

Alex’s thoughts had been in a constant loop the past few days. A loop that started with Maggie and always ended with Alex’s fear of disappointing not only her mother and sister but her father as well and tarnishing the legacy he had built. It was in the depths of those fears that Alex wished most that Jeremiah was still alive. She wondered if he would be proud of who she had become and everything she’d accomplished.

In an attempt to shake the thoughts away before they could drag her down into their depths, Alex stepped further into the treehouse. She pulled a guitar from its wall mount before settling on the couch along the opposite wall. 

Closing her eyes, Alex let her fingers glide over the guitar strings, attempting to release all of her sorrow and frustration through the melody that filled the small room. With no specific musical destination in mind, Alex played whatever came to her in the moment.

A sudden knock pulled Alex out of her bubble. Opening her eyes, she found Maggie standing on the other side of the open door, hands tucked in her front pockets. Alex didn't know Maggie well, but the nervousness she could sense coming from the other woman, the tension in her shoulders, felt unnatural. 

Maggie cleared her throat before finally speaking. “Hey. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You looked kind of upset.”

The concern in Maggie’s voice had Alex averting her eyes. “Uh, yeah. I just needed to be alone for a little bit.”

A beat of silence, and then Maggie was backing away. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. I’ll leave you to it.”

The words didn’t sink in right away, but when they did, Alex threw a hand out. “No, wait.”

Maggie stopped and turned back, eyebrows raised.

Alex’s hand dropped. She knew inviting the other woman in was a bad idea, but she also ached to be in her company. The latter finally won out. “I didn’t mean you had to go. You can...you can come in.”

“Are you sure?” Maggie asked as a soft smile formed and the nervousness seemed to slip away.

Alex couldn’t keep her own smile from her face. “Yes. Please, come in.”

Stepping through the doorway, Maggie took in the room. A wall of photographs caught her attention as she walked towards it. Alex tried not to stare as Maggie looked at the memories she had chosen to hang in her space. Many included Kara. Most included Eliza. Every single one included Jeremiah.

Alex mindlessly plucked at the strings on her guitar when a gasp pulled her eyes back to Maggie, who turned, mouth hanging open and a finger pointed at one of the pictures. 

“You know Dolly Parton?”

“Oh, you mean Aunt Dolly?” Alex responded with nonchalance. 

Maggie stared back, speechless. Alex’s poker face faltered as she grinned.

“I’m just fucking with you. My parents played a charity concert that she was also performing. It was the one and only time I ever met her.”

A playful glare crossed Maggie’s face as she moved to the couch where Alex was sitting and took a seat at the opposite end, one leg curled underneath her. The women sat in silence until Alex felt the need to fill it, setting her guitar aside and speaking.

“Hearing them perform one of my parents’ songs,” Alex paused, twisting her fingers in her lap. 

When she didn’t elaborate, Maggie dipped her head to catch Alex’s eye. “It was a little too much?”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. “It stirred up some memories. And I know it’s stupid-“

“Alex, no.” Maggie cut her off, laying a hand on her leg. “Your feelings are valid. Always.”

Almost all of her focus zeroed in on that point of contact Maggie had created. Even through the layer of jeans between Maggie’s hand and Alex’s leg, she could feel the heat radiating from that simple touch. Trying to ignore the thrill that ran through her, Alex uttered, “Thanks.”

“Anytime, Danvers.” Maggie squeezed Alex’s leg before drawing her hand back. “So, tell me, what was it like growing up surrounded by country music superstars?”

Brain clearing in the absence of Maggie’s touch, Alex looked up to find a playful smirk on the other woman’s face. Alex laughed in response. “Not as glamorous as you might think, to be honest.”

“You mean your days weren’t filled with shopping sprees and your nights a never-ending cycle of lavish parties?” Maggie teased.

Alex’s laughter filled the small room. “More like my days were filled with school and my nights were a never-ending cycle of every book I could get my hands on.”

“Nerd,” Maggie murmured, a playful smirk on her face. 

Alex’s smile softened as she went back to focusing on her hands in her lap. “My parents wanted us to have as normal of a life as possible. Yeah, we had some cool experiences, and Mom and Dad had famous friends, but to Kara and me it was never anything special, I guess. They worked hard to shield us from as much of the industry as they could.”

Maggie hummed and nodded in response, as though she knew Alex had more to say and didn’t want to interrupt.

Alex took a breath. “And then Mom moved us to Midvale after Dad died, and our lives were suddenly very normal. But also not at all.” 

Silence enveloped the women. Alex was lost in thoughts of her father. She was able to sense Maggie watching her, but her mind was replaying the last time she had seen Jeremiah. Before the crash. Before everything fell apart and changed forever.

After a moment, Maggie’s voice pulled Alex back.

“So how’d you end up back here?”

Alex looked up, confusion on her face. “What?”

“How’d you end up back in Nashville?”

“Oh.” Alex shook her head, trying to realign her thoughts. “As much as my mom tried to steer us toward normal careers, it was a lost cause. Kara and I had already decided we wanted to follow in their footsteps, carry on their legacy. Especially Dad’s.”

“So you can take the girl out of country music, but you can’t take country music out of the girl?” Maggie nudged Alex, clearly trying to bring some lightheartedness back into the conversation.

“Apparently, that is true,” Alex said, smiling as she pointed a finger at Maggie.

They continued to hold each other’s gaze, and then Maggie’s eyes were taking in the room around them. Alex would swear that if she reached into the space between them, the shock of an electrical current would run through her.

“This is a pretty cool space you’ve got here, Danvers.”

“Thanks.” Alex pulled her eyes from Maggie and also looked around. “My one condition for buying this house was that Kara let me use this space however I wanted. I love my sister, but sometimes I need a little me-time.”

“Completely understandable.” Maggie paused, then added, “Though when I said that to my ex-girlfriend, she assumed it meant I was cheating on her.”

Alex’s eyes snapped back to Maggie, and she could practically hear the sound of a record scratch in her mind as her brain came to a halt. 

“You’re gay?” Fell out of Alex’s mouth before she could catch it. She dropped her head, eyes closed and cheeks reddening. “I’m sorry. That sounded terrible. I just didn’t realize. Not that it matters! It’s totally fine if you are!”

“Alex,” Maggie cut in before Alex could continue her embarrassed rambling. “It’s okay. Really.”

Alex raised her gaze to find sincerity on Maggie’s face before a smirk took over.

“Gotta say though, I’m not sure how you didn’t figure it out the other night during our set. I thought it was pretty clear I was singing about other women.”

The pink returned to Alex’s cheeks as she tried to figure out how to tell Maggie she had missed most of the performance because she had been in the midst of her own gay panic. Clearing her throat, Alex decided to go with, “I guess I was just so focused on how we were going to ask if you wanted to join the tour, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“You really thought we might say no?” Maggie laughed. “Your offer was basically a dream come true.”

Deciding it was better to keep silent rather than risk what might come out of her mouth next, Alex smiled and nodded.

“But, yes, I am gay. Been a card-carrying member for a long time now. Unfortunately, one of the perks is not complete acceptance in country music.” 

Trying to work past Maggie is gay echoing through her head, Alex finally found words that made sense. “Well, hopefully, we can fix that this summer.”

Needing something to do with her hands, Alex reached for the guitar she’d set next to the couch when Maggie had first walked in. She pulled it into her lap and plucked at the strings absentmindedly.

“Holy shit, Danvers.”

Startled, Alex froze and momentarily panicked that Maggie knew her secret. That her gaydar was so in tune, she had pinged Alex. Tamping down on what she knew was an irrational fear, Alex looked at Maggie. “What?”

Maggie’s eyes were on the guitar. “Is that an original Gibson Dove?”

“Oh.” Alex breathed relief and moved her fingers from the strings and ran them over the detailing on the guitar’s pickguard. “Yeah, it is. You must really know your guitars, Sawyer.”

She didn’t mean to use Maggie’s last name, but Alex had to admit to herself that she liked the way it felt rolling off of her tongue. She also liked the way Maggie looked at her when she said it. 

“I was really into classic guitars when I was younger. Always dreamed of owning one of those.” Maggie tipped her head at the guitar in Alex’s hands.

“My dad did, too,” Alex said quietly, continuing to pluck the strings lightly. “He and my mom were doing a show in Phoenix. Their tour bus was driving through the area, and my dad looked out the window and saw this random guy sitting on a street corner, playing this guitar. He yelled at the driver to stop, jumped off the bus, and convinced the guy to sell it to him.”

“You’re kidding?” Maggie laughed, skeptically.

“Not even a little,” Alex chuckled. “Dad never would tell Mom how much he paid the guy.”

Alex went back to plucking notes from the guitar. When she looked up and found Maggie’s eyes on her, she stopped. “You want to play it?”

Maggie’s eyes widened, and she put her hands up. “Oh, no. I know how much one of those costs, and knowing how much it meant to your dad, I wouldn’t want to break it.”

Alex scoffed. “Unless you plan to go all Pete Townshend, I’m not worried about you breaking anything. Besides, Dad always said he didn’t buy the guitar to look at. He bought it to be played.”

And then, Alex was placing the guitar in Maggie’s hands before she could protest anymore. Alex watched as Maggie carefully shifted on the couch holding the guitar delicately as she looked back up at Alex. 

“Are you sure?” Maggie asked, hesitantly.

“Absolutely,” Alex nodded, turning toward Maggie and folding her hands in her own lap to keep her from trying to pass the guitar back. “Play something.”

Seeming to finally give in, Maggie set the guitar in her lap. Carefully placing her fingers on the strings, she strummed out a chord.

“Damn, that sounds beautiful,” Maggie murmured.

Alex laughed at the look of bliss on Maggie’s face, eyes lingering on the other woman as Maggie looked at the coffee table in front of them and reached forward. When Maggie pulled her hand back, she held a guitar pick between her fingers. 

“May I?” She asked.

“Of course.” Alex smiled as Maggie finally settled into the couch with the guitar in her lap. She ran the pick across the strings a few times before seeming to make a decision. Placing her fingers once again, Maggie began strumming with purpose. 

It only took a few notes before recognition kicked in. Alex grinned as Maggie looked up at her with a matching smile.

“I had a feeling you’d know this one. Let’s hear it, Danvers.”

Alex was about to object, but honestly, she did know and love the song. So instead, Alex closed her eyes, took a breath, and sang.

"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you please don’t take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don’t take him just because you can"

Opening her eyes, Alex found Maggie watching her.

“Beautiful, Alex. Keep going.”

And in that moment, Alex wasn’t about to deny Maggie anything, and her eyes held Maggie’s as she continued to sing.

"Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I cannot compete with you
Jolene"

Alex could feel the pull, the energy, between herself and Maggie. She itched to take the place of the guitar in Maggie’s hands, and she couldn’t help but imagine what else those fingers were capable of strumming. Fighting her feelings for Maggie had been manageable before. But now that Alex knew Maggie was gay? 

One word flitted across Alex’s mind.

Fuck.

Chapter Text

Alex closed her eyes as the final chord reverberated through her body and the music faded. She heard a “Whoop!” to her right, and then arms were wrapping around her in a bear hug. Laughing at Kara’s jubilance, Alex hugged her sister back.

They were in the last rehearsals for the tour, and at this point, any changes they made were nitpicking. Less than two weeks from their departure, Alex couldn’t help but feel her own excitement build. The sisters’ first headlining tour had been a whirlwind of nerves and sleepless nights. Their second tour had felt like an opportunity to prove the success of the first hadn’t been a fluke. This third tour, however, felt like a chance to go out and have fun every single night. Yes, they had to make sure to put on a great show and keep the label happy. But tickets were selling better than projected, and Alex was looking forward to fully enjoying this experience with her sister.

As Alex and Kara stepped off the stage, they were greeted with cheers. Standing off to the side were Maggie, James, and Winn, their own excitement evident.

“If that’s what you guys are like in a rehearsal, I can’t wait to see you in front of a packed arena,” James boasted, wrapping an arm around Kara’s shoulders. 

(It didn’t go unnoticed to Alex that her sister’s cheeks burned a bright shade of pink, and she remained unusually quiet.)

Maggie’s shoulder knocked against her own. “You sounded good up there, Danvers. I mean, it was no Jolene , but still not bad.”

Unable to stop her own cheeks from reddening, Alex ignored Kara’s confused look. “Thanks, Sawyer.”

Apparently opting to ignore the playful banter, Kara turned to the band. “They’ll need a little time to switch out our gear, but then you guys can work on your set. There’s catering set up down the hall if you want to grab something to eat first.”

Winn rubbed his hands together. “Free food? Now you’re speaking my language.”

James and Maggie rolled their eyes playfully as Kara led the group away from the practice space. Alex reached out and tugged on Maggie’s arm before she could follow.

“I just wanted to let you know I made sure there would be some options for you,” Alex said when Maggie turned back to her.

Confusion crossed the other woman’s face, and Alex felt her nerves tick up. 

“After you, uh, brought the black bean burgers the other day. I figured that meant you didn’t eat meat? So, I, uh, I made sure that catering prepared something you could eat. Something other than carrot sticks,” Alex stammered, hoping she hadn’t made a misstep or crossed a line.

She watched as the confusion in Maggie’s eyes turned to softness. Maggie’s mouth opened but then closed again, as though she were at a loss for words. After a moment, she seemed to find what she wanted to say. “Thanks, Alex. That means a lot. I really appreciate it.”

And then Alex was rewarded with a dimpled smile that she couldn’t help but return. The urge to reach forward and pull Maggie into a kiss roared up into Alex’s chest. Before it could escape and cause Alex to make things very awkward, she took a step away from Maggie and shoved her hands into her back pockets.

“Didn’t seem like letting you starve was a good way to kick things off.”

“My stomach and the boys thank you. It can get pretty ugly when the hanger takes over.” Maggie started toward the direction the others had headed when she stopped, realizing Alex wasn’t following. “You coming, Danvers?”

“Oh, I can’t,” Alex answered, feeling regret and wanting to spend more time with Maggie. And the rest of the band, of course. “I have to try on some tour outfits first.”

Maggie nodded, and Alex wasn’t sure if she imagined the disappointment that flitted across the other woman’s face. “I’ll make sure the boys leave something for you to eat. I have a feeling hangry doesn’t look good on you either.”

“Honestly, I’m not the sister you have to worry about. And you might want to hurry if you want any chance of there being food left. Kara might look small, but I’m pretty sure she has six stomachs.”

The look on Maggie’s face told that she didn’t know if Alex was kidding or not, but she turned and quickly started walking.

“Third door on the left,” Alex called after her.

Throwing a hand up in the air, Maggie yelled back, “Thanks, Danvers. Have fun trying on clothes.”

Alex huffed out a laugh and headed in the opposite direction.

****

Twenty minutes later, Alex stood in front of a mirror staring at her reflection. Long hair flowing in waves, the floral, mint green romper sat just off of Alex’s shoulders, showing off the expanse of her chest. A brown belt accented her waist. 

She could admit she looked good. It just wasn’t her. Alex yanked at the hem of the shorts romper, but her attempts at trying to make them longer were futile. Alex sighed, frowning at herself.

This was how her fans expected her to look. This was the persona Alex had created for herself. Soft and feminine. The girl next door that every guy would want to take home to meet his parents.

Leaving no doubt that Alex was exactly who everyone expected her to be. Or so she hoped.

“Damn, Danvers.”

The voice caused Alex to jump as she spun to find Maggie leaning on the doorframe. Turning back before Maggie could see her cheeks burning red and internally cursing at how easy it was for this other woman to cause that reaction, Alex ran her hands over the front of the romper, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles. She cleared her throat. “What do you think?”

Alex watched Maggie’s reflection as she stepped further into the room, head tilted as she looked Alex over. Then Maggie’s eyes found Alex’s in the mirror. “You look really good…”

Maggie trailed off, eyes roaming down to take in Alex’s appearance and then back up to meet her gaze. 

The voice at the back of her mind telling Alex to let it go was ignored. “But?”

Ending the eye contact, Maggie put her hands in her front pockets as she shrugged. “It just….this doesn’t seem like you.”

Alex could feel her hackles rising, and she attempted to tamp them back down, knowing Maggie’s comment was an innocent observation. Before Alex could speak, Maggie continued. “You seem like more of a jeans and t-shirt girl. This doesn’t look like the Alex I’ve been getting to know.”

Defensively, Alex straightened and spit out, “Well, maybe you don’t really know me.”

Regret filled her body as soon as the words left her mouth and seeing Maggie shrink at the poison in her voice left a pit in Alex’s stomach.

“Sorry, Alex. I’ll let you finish up here.” And before Alex could speak again, Maggie turned and was gone.

Alex sagged as her body filled with remorse. She glanced at herself in the mirror as she heard Maggie’s comment replay in her mind. Maggie wasn’t wrong. She was just the first person to challenge Alex about it. Kara never questioned what she Alex wore on stage, and neither did J’onn.

But Maggie had. After only knowing Alex for such a short time, Maggie was the first to see her, to recognize her. Alex could admit it felt good. It also terrified her. She’d worked hard on this facade and had been perfecting it over the past eight years. 

A soft knock pulled Alex’s eyes away from her reflection, and she found Lucy standing in the doorway, a look of concern on her face.

“Everything okay?” She asked carefully. “I just saw Maggie headed back toward the stage. She looked upset.”

Lucy knew Alex’s reasons behind her wardrobe choices. She had attempted on occasion to gently urge Alex into including some of her regular clothing into her tour outfits. But the moment Alex would push back out of fear, Lucy would relent. 

“It was my fault,” Alex answered. “A misunderstanding. I’ll fix it.”

Alex watched as Lucy nodded. “Okay.”

She could tell Lucy wanted to prod, but the other woman remained silent. As Lucy shifted to walk away from the doorway, Alex couldn’t stop from blurting, “Did you know Maggie was gay?”

The question had been on Alex’s mind since the cookout. With all of the preparations for the tour, there hadn’t been any time for Alex to ask Lucy to get together so they could talk. And the question didn’t really feel like the type of thing to ask over the phone. But Alex wanted to know. Alex knew Lucy and James were on friendly terms even though James was Lucy’s ex. Lucy had been the one to recommend they go see the band. If Alex hadn’t been so preoccupied with her own thoughts that night at The Bluebird, it would have been obvious that Maggie was singing about women. So it made sense that Lucy would know.

Lucy froze, turning back to Alex, a guilty look on her face. “I did.”

Whatever Lucy read on Alex’s face caused her to fully step into the room and hold her hands out. “I’m sorry. I should have told you. I just didn’t want it to deter you from choosing them as your opener.”

Alex scoffed, crossing her arms and looking down as she scuffed her toe on the ground. “Why would you think I’d let that affect choosing them?”

“Because I know you.”

Alex looked up at the skepticism in Lucy’s voice as the other woman continued. “I know how carefully you guard your secret. And I understand why you do it, Alex. But I wanted you to give them a chance.”

Nodding, Alex turned back to the mirror, looking at her reflection. Alex didn’t understand why Lucy’s omission stung so much, but she didn’t blame her friend for it. She probably would have come up with some excuse as to why the band wasn’t the best choice if she had known Maggie was gay. 

“Maggie and the guys are getting ready to rehearse. We have a meeting with the crew in twenty minutes,” Lucy quietly reminded her before leaving the room.

As her conversations with both Maggie and Lucy replayed in her mind, Alex slipped out of the romper and redressed in her original clothes. Placing the romper back on its hanger, Alex hesitated before finally putting it on the reject rack. Before she could change her mind, Alex left the room and headed toward the rehearsal area, desperate to find Maggie and apologize.

As she walked toward the temporary stage, Alex could hear music begin to fill the space. She stopped unseen to the side, watching The Renegades rehearse. The melody drifted over Alex, and she watched Maggie step up to the microphone.

"Another night
Another worry
Cause our lives
Are in a hurry
I second guess
Are we the best
That we were meant to be?"

Alex watched, transfixed.

"I need to sleep
My head is spinning
It’s like I’m back
At the beginning
When I was scared
And unprepared
For you and me

Then you kiss me slow"

The words Maggie sang flowed their way through Alex, and her mind painted images of the two of them tangled up, kissing slowly just as the song suggested. Alex imagined the ways in which she could work Maggie up as she trailed kisses from her mouth, down her neck, between her breasts, just below her belly button, and finally traveling lower until -.

A hand on her arm startled Alex, the blissful fantasy she had created in her mind disappearing. She glanced over to find Kara smiling toward the stage, completely oblivious of her sister’s inattention to the band on stage.

“They sound so good,” Kara gushed. “I’m really glad we chose them.”

Alex looked back to the stage, back to Maggie, whose eyes slipped closed as she seemed to sink into the song. 

Resisting the urge to chase the remaining tendrils of her daydream, Alex murmured, “Me too.”

"Oh, just when I need you
Just when I need you most
You seem to know
Just when I need you
Just when I need you most
You always know"

Chapter Text

Lights glowed as the SUV pulled into the parking lot where the tour buses stood waiting for everyone to board. Needing to get to their first stop in Greensboro, North Carolina and wanting to make sure there was plenty of time in the event of any initial mishaps, the departure had been scheduled for midnight. Despite the late hour, the parking lot was a flurry of activity as everyone carted their things from the trunks of cars and onto the buses. Standing amidst all of the chaos, Alex could see Lucy, clipboard in hand as she barked orders.

Alex lifted her glasses, rubbing at her eyes as she yawned but knew she was too geared up to be able to go to sleep right away once she was on her and Kara’s bus. She glanced to her right, wondering how she was going to deal with the energy she could feel radiating off of Kara beside her as her sister practically bounced in her seat. 

“Maggie, Winn, and James are here,” Kara squealed. “I really hope they like their bus.”

Alex winced as Kara’s voice ricocheted around the small space. Looking out the window, she found Maggie and her bandmates pulling bags from the back of a Jeep and loading them onto the tour bus they would be living on for the next few months. Alex’s eyes landed on Maggie, and she felt dread in the pit of her stomach. The women hadn’t spoken in over a week. Not since the incident in the fitting room, and Alex wasn’t sure if her uneasiness had to do with her guilt or her undeniable crush. Or a mixture of both.

Suddenly, Maggie’s focus was on the SUV where Alex still sat inside. Not realizing Kara had exited the vehicle, she watched her sister embrace the others one at a time. (If she happened to linger in her hug with James, Alex chose not to notice.) Then Maggie was moving toward Alex’s door.

Guess we’re doing this now, Alex thought as she grabbed the bag at her feet and reached for the door handle.

Closing the door and turning, Alex saw Maggie stop, a look of pleasant surprise on her face.

“Wow, Danvers. I like the haircut. Really suits you.”

“Thanks.” Alex’s eyes fell to the ground as she reached up self-consciously, pushing her now chin-length hair behind her ear. “Decided it would be a lot more manageable during the tour.”

She was still getting used to the cut, reminded of how much shorter it was every time she ran her fingers through it. But Alex had also felt a small bit of transformation as she watched chunks of hair fall to the floor of the salon. Almost as though she had shed a layer and allowed a part of her true self to be seen. The way Maggie had been able to see her.

As she glanced back at Maggie, Alex saw remorse cross her face and couldn’t help but feel confused. She was the one who had snapped, who owed the other woman an apology. 

Before Alex could give it any more thought, Maggie was speaking again, “Alex, hey.” She took a step closer. “I wanted to make sure to apologize as soon as I saw you. I was out of line with what I said the other day, and it’s none of my business what you choose to wear on stage.”

“Maggie, no.” Alex held a hand up. “ I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

She watched Maggie’s head tilt in confusion and reminded herself she had more to say despite how adorable the other woman looked.

“You didn’t deserve having me speak to you the way I did.” Alex dropped her eyes to the asphalt, searching for an explanation as close to the truth as she was willing to get. “I, uh, I can get a little defensive sometimes. I’ve gotten so used trying to portray the person fans expect me to be that I forget to make room for the real me. I’m sure that sounds ridiculous.”

Immediately, Maggie was in front of Alex, her hand on Alex’s arm. “Not at all. We do what we have to in order to succeed in this business. Believe me, I get that.”

Eyes landing on the spot where Maggie’s touch felt like electricity under her skin, Alex wished she could tell Maggie just how true her statement rang. Tell her everything she was hiding and the persona she had created so she could succeed. Alex knew Maggie would understand, and she realized at that moment how much more brave Maggie was for living her truth.

“I like the glasses by the way,” Maggie murmured, eyes passing over Alex’s face. “They’re cute.”

Alex felt her cheeks heat up at the compliment and lifted her hand to adjust the frames on her face. Since she’d be spending the night on the tour bus, Alex had opted for her glasses, knowing her eyes would hate her in the morning if she’d kept in her contacts. Before Alex could respond, yelling pulled both women’s attention toward the buses.

“Let’s get this show on the road!” Winn whooped as he followed James and Kara onto The Renegades’ bus.

Maggie closed her eyes and slowly breathed out. Alex couldn’t help but smile. “You okay there, Sawyer.”

Eyes still closed, Maggie replied, “Yeah. Just reminding myself that harming Winn would make it really difficult for us to perform tomorrow night.”

Alex laughed and found herself blessed with the appearance of Maggie’s dimples as she grinned.

“I can promise my bus will be much quieter if you’d care to join me,” Alex found herself offering. “I’d hate for your first tour to be over before it even begins.”

“I wouldn’t want to crash your bus ride,” Maggie shook her head.

“It’s not crashing if I’m offering,” Alex countered, hand on her hip. “Besides, I successfully sneaked these past Kara, and I intend to enjoy them.”

Alex pulled open the bag on her shoulder to reveal a small box of glazed donuts. Maggie’s eyebrows rose.

“That’s one hell of a midnight snack.”

Alex shrugged, letting the bag close again. “I eat sugar when I’m nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” Maggie huffed out a laugh. “Isn’t this like your tenth tour or something?”

“Third,” Alex rolled her eyes, smirking. “And it’s just pre-performance jitters. I know the moment I’m back on the stage, I’ll be fine. Now do you want to share my secret donuts or not?”

“Twist my arm why don’t ya.” Maggie playfully shook her head at Alex before walking to her band’s bus to pick up a bag and guitar case that were sitting on the ground. Alex could see Maggie grimace as she walked back toward her. 

Maggie noticed the question in her eyes, rolling her own as she said, “I can hear Winn and Kara singing at the top of their lungs. I almost feel bad for James.”

“Should we invite him to join us?” Alex asked, looking toward the bus. She hoped she sounded sincere, because, selfishly, she wanted to spend time alone with Maggie. Especially now that things were good between them again. Not the safest plan, considering they were barely a half-hour into their first night on tour, but Alex was weak.

Maggie hooked her free arm through Alex’s, turning her away from The Renegades’ bus and toward her own. “He made his choice. I’ll remember him fondly. Besides, I’m not sure I would be able to handle the forlorn look on his face wishing he were on the bus with your sister so he could shamelessly flirt some more.” Maggie grimaced as she glanced at Alex. “Sorry.”

Alex waved the apology away. “It’s fine. I’ve had to listen to an endless stream of Kara fawning over all of James’ “adorable and date-worthy” qualities, accompanied by never-ending heart eyes. Winn might be the one that actually deserves our pity.”

The women stepped onto the bus, Alex letting the driver know that Kara would be riding on the other one, and Maggie offering him twenty bucks to lock the door and start driving before any of the others could try to board. 

Dropping her things next to the couch, Alex turned to find Maggie gaping at their surroundings. “Damn, Danvers. Quite the swanky mobile digs you’ve got.”

Alex looked around the space. She knew it well, having taken the lead in designing and decorating the bus they’d be spending the next three and a half months on for this tour alone. The success Alex and Kara had built the last few years afforded them the ability to splurge a bit. Plus, Eliza had gifted them a sizable amount of money, stating that their father would have wanted to make sure they were safe and comfortable. 

And now Alex stood on the bus that she had made sure would feel like a home away from home. She and Kara each had their own room for sleeping. They had a lounge area, a kitchen, and a bathroom with a shower. 

Maggie set her things on the floor and took a seat on the sofa, running her hands over the soft upholstery. “You better watch out, Danvers. You might not be able to get rid of me.”

“Having grown up with the human equivalent of a puppy, that’s not quite the threat you think it is,” Alex deadpanned. Despite the playful banter, Alex felt her stomach flip at the thought of Maggie spending the entire tour on the bus with her. She certainly wouldn’t object. 

A moment later, Lucy stepped onto the bus, taking in the sight of Maggie sitting on the couch before speaking. “Everyone is accounted for and buses are loaded. We’ll be taking off in five minutes.”

“Thanks, Luce.” Alex watched as Lucy’s eyes traveled from Alex to Maggie and back again. She squinted her eyes at Alex before letting a neutral expression slip over her face.

“If you need anything, give me a call. Otherwise, I’ll see you when we get to North Carolina.” One more pointed look at Alex and Lucy was stepping off Alex’s bus and heading toward the tech crew bus.

Once Lucy was gone, Alex excused herself to drop her bag in her room, finding the rest of her luggage already placed next to the bed. Pulling out the box of donuts, Alex headed back toward the front of the bus. When she reached the kitchen area, she stopped and watched Maggie, who was now sitting on the couch and strumming her guitar, the case open at her feet.

Alex’s eyes traveled over Maggie’s face, taking in her concentration as she picked at the strings. Her gaze shifted to Maggie’s fingers, following them as they plucked and strummed, creating a melody that filled the small area. And then Alex’s mind was conjuring up ideas of what else Maggie might be able to do with those fingers. She felt a flush break out over her body as images from recent dreams came to the surface.

Slamming her eyes shut, Alex took a deep breath, attempting to push down the arousal that was filling her gut. As she focused on breathing in and out, Maggie’s voice broke through her attempted calm.

“You alright there, Danvers?”

Realizing silence filled the area now instead of music, Alex opened her eyes to find Maggie smirking at her, arms resting over her guitar. Was it possible that Maggie knew what she was doing? That she could sense the effect she had on Alex? Alex shook the thoughts away, telling herself Maggie couldn’t read her mind. She hoped.

Alex cleared her throat. “Uh, yeah. Just listening to you play.”

The smirk remained as Maggie seemed to take a moment to study Alex before speaking. “Well, I believe I was promised secret sugary goodness.”

Alex picked up the box from where she’d set it on the counter, laughing as she moved toward the couch where Maggie sat. “I will keep that promise in exchange for a song.”

Maggie’s smirk disappears as she squinted at Alex, tipping her head to the side. The movement caused a lock of hair to fall across her forehead, and Alex’s fingers itched to reach out and brush it back. Before the urge could become too much for her, Maggie reached up herself and tucked the strand behind her ear. “Alright, Danvers, deal. You’re lucky I have a weakness for sweets and pretty girls.”

Before Alex could fully react to Maggie’s words, the other woman was reaching for a pick and readjusting her guitar. A moment later, music was once again filling the space and working through the static in Alex’s mind. As Maggie began to sing, everything else fell away.

“Yeah, I’ve heard things
Goin’ ‘round and ‘round runnin’ through this town
Like a two lane
I never loved you
Found someone new, gave up too soon
But that’s half the truth
One point of view”

Alex’s eyes were transfixed on Maggie’s face as she sang, eyes closed. She wasn’t sure if she imagined the hint of pain that crossed Maggie’s face as she sang, but Alex knew that she felt an overwhelming urge to soothe it away.

“You can be the hero, I can take the fall
If that’s how your story goes, say it’s all my fault
Whatever helps you sleep at night
Yeah, you can make me the bad guy
Make ‘em all believe it
If that’s how you’re feeling
I can be the villain”

Maggie’s strumming intensified as she continued.

“It didn’t have to be
The way you made me play the part, the enemy
But they’ll start to see
That that ain’t me”

Voice catching, the music came to a stop. Alex couldn’t pull her focus from Maggie. She had yet to open her eyes and seemed to be gathering her emotions. When she finally looked at Alex, Maggie’s smile was tinged with sadness. She cleared her throat. “Does that meet your requirements?”

Alex knew she must have looked ridiculous, mouth opening and closing a few times before she was able to string words together. “Maggie, that was…Did you write that?”

Nerves seemed to take over as Maggie looked away and ran a hand through her hair. “Yeah, it’s something new I’ve been working on.”

“It was beautiful,” Alex quickly replied, then softly added, “And heartbreaking.”

“Didn’t feel real good at the time either,” Maggie murmured, setting her guitar in its case.

Before Alex could stop herself, she was reaching out, hand landing on Maggie’s knee. “I’m sorry. That must have been awful.”

Maggie shrugged with one shoulder and scratched at a spot on her sweats. “My last girlfriend, we were together for a few years. After a while, she started having a hard time with how much work I was putting into my career. I was spending most of my nights either songwriting or playing bars. Didn’t leave a lot of time for dates, for her. And I know that’s on me.”

Alex could feel her heart ache for Maggie, but she resisted speaking, sensing Maggie had more to share. There was a beat of silence before she seemed to decide to continue.

“After we broke up, I started hearing from friends that she was telling everyone that I was hard-headed, insensitive, obsessed with work. Which, I mean, true, but, uh, I think the worst one was that she was also saying I was borderline sociopathic.”

“Maggie.” Alex moved her hand from Maggie’s knee to squeeze her forearm and pull the other woman’s attention to her. “Hey, it’s her loss.”

Shaking her head, Maggie stared at her lap as she laced her fingers together. “I just thought…you know, she was…”

Alex tried to pick up the thread. “Thought she was what?” 

Maggie seemed to decide to leave that particular thread hanging. “Doesn’t matter. I decided it wasn’t worth wasting my energy trying to contradict her. If she wanted me to be the bad guy, so be it. Yeah, it hurt, but I wasn’t going to sacrifice everything I was working so hard for just to prove her wrong.”

“I know we haven’t known one another very long,” Alex started, dropping her head to try to catch Maggie’s eyes, “but I do know you’re a good person, Maggie. And any woman would be lucky to be with you.”

Alex’s words hung between them before Maggie reached up and swiped at the corner of her eye. “Well, at least it’s starting to feel like I got kicked in the gut instead of the face.” Then, clearing her throat, Maggie shifted on the couch. “Now about those donuts.”

Realizing that the conversation was over, Alex pulled her hand back from where it still rested on Maggie’s arm. She glanced at the forgotten sweets sitting in her lap. Picking it up, she held it out to Maggie. “I’d say you deserve the entire box.”

Maggie laughed, and Alex was relieved to see a spark of happiness return to her face. “Absolutely not, Danvers. You have to take at least one for indulging my sob story.”

Various heartfelt and encouraging responses crossed Alex’s mind, but instead, she settled on, “Fine.”

Reaching into the box, Alex watched Maggie take a bite of her own donut, watched her eyes close at the taste and wondered how she was going to keep this crush from blowing up in her face.

Chapter Text

The sound of a fist banging on her door jolted Alex out of a dead sleep. 

“Up and at ‘em, Alex. Walkthrough in thirty minutes,” Lucy’s voice filled the quiet. “I put a coffee on the counter for you.”

Alex groaned as she rolled onto her back, slinging an arm over her eyes. Reaching out with her other hand and feeling around the mess of blankets on the bed until she located her cell phone, Alex lifted her arm enough to be able to read the time.

8:27am

A voice at the back of Alex’s mind whispered that it was an hour earlier in Nashville. 

Time change and crossing into different time zones was one of Alex’s least favorite parts of touring. They never stayed in one long enough for her body to adjust as they criss-crossed the states. Alex relied heavily on caffeine and routine.

Groaning again as she dropped the phone to the bed, Alex rolled onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow. She had gotten maybe four hours of sleep and knew it would catch up with her by the afternoon. There was definitely going to be a nap in her future before tonight’s concert.

Alex snuggled deeper into her bed and the warmth it held, deciding she could spare a few more minutes before she had to get up and around to make it to the walkthrough. Her mind drifted back to the night before. She had reluctantly left Maggie on the couch with a pillow and the comforter from Kara’s bed. Maggie had steadfastly refused to take Alex’s or Kara’s beds, claiming that the couch was more comfortable than any of the ones she had spent nights on when she’d first moved to Nashville. Alex blamed her sleep-deprived brain on nearly suggesting they share her bed.

The pair had spent most of the drive talking, and Alex had learned more about Maggie’s past. She could tell the other woman struggled talking about herself, and Alex treasured every new nugget of information she received.  She learned that Maggie had spent most of her teen years living with an aunt. Maggie hadn’t elaborated, but Alex could sense there had been a great deal of struggle in Maggie’s past. She shared that her aunt had been the one to place a guitar in Maggie’s hands urging her to put her feelings into song. Maggie had taken this to heart and discovered her talent for creating music and writing lyrics. Dreams of moving to Nashville soon followed, and Maggie’s aunt had supported her unquestioningly.

When Maggie had reached her limit talking about herself, she started peppering Alex with questions about growing up in Nashville and the various stars she had met growing up. Alex again stressed that her life hadn’t been all that glamorous, but she did share a story about the time Kara used her sweet nature to convince Dolly Parton to lend her a wig and dress for Halloween. Maggie’s laughter had filled the bus, and Alex could feel herself becoming addicted to the sound.

Eventually, Maggie’s questions turned to Jeremiah. She remembered coming home from school to find her aunt staring at the television. They were showing coverage of a single-engine plane crash. The crash that had taken Alex’s father’s life. 

Alex had hesitated at first. She didn’t often talk about what had become the worst day of her life. But with Maggie, she felt safe.

So Alex talked about Jeremiah being asked to produce an album for an up-and-coming artist and hugging his family goodbye before boarding the small plane. She talked about the police showing up at the door with the devastating news of the crash. About her mother shutting down completely, and J’onn doing everything he could to help hold the family together and get through this dark time. About Eliza deciding to pack up her daughters and leaving the city, the people, and the career that was now a constant reminder of her dead husband. About moving thousands of miles away and trying to live in this new normal without her father in an unfamiliar town.

Alex let the tears flow as she spoke. Let herself feel the sorrow that always came when she thought about that time in her life. And she let Maggie pull her into a hug and hold onto her tightly until her breathing slowed and she pulled back, wiping away the remaining tears. 

For Alex, it felt like she and Maggie had reached a new level of their friendship. She also felt herself falling deeper for Maggie.

Another sudden pounding on her bedroom door had Alex finally pulling herself out of bed. “Alright, I’m up! I’m up!”

“Twenty minutes,” she heard Lucy call through the door, and it was times like these that Alex cursed Lucy’s penchant for punctuality.

Pulling clothes from the bags she hadn’t yet unpacked, Alex quickly dressed before going into the bathroom to brush her teeth and pin her hair back out of her face. Pulling on her Chucks, Alex opened the door to her bedroom, grabbing the coffee Lucy had left for her from the counter as she walked by, and out the door of the bus. 

Standing just to the side of the steps of the bus was Lucy, arms crossed. She looked at Alex, impatience written all over her face. Alex paused, hands stretched out to either side as if she were presenting herself. “See, I’m up.” Alex looked at her phone. “And with five minutes to spare.”

Lucy squinted at Alex, a scowl on her face. “It’s a good thing we have a make-up artist because you look like shit.”

As if realizing she’d forgotten something, Alex began patting her pockets with her free hand. “Crap, where did I leave it?” Slipping her hand into her pocket, Alex perked up. “Oh, there it is.” Pulling her hand back out, Alex raised it, flipping Lucy off.

Lucy snorted, her stern face disappearing and ending the banter between the two. Alex finally descended the steps, and the two women began walking toward the arena.

“So, uh, how exactly did Kara and Maggie end up switching buses last night?” Lucy asked as they walked. 

Alex shrugged. “Kara wanted to ride with James and Winn, and I invited Maggie to ride with me. Innocent enough.”

“Innocent. Right,” Lucy scoffed, humor in her tone.

Alex scowled, choosing to ignore her friend’s attempt at baiting her as they stepped inside the arena.

The performance area was a flurry of activity. The stage had been constructed, and lights were in the process of being hung. Tech crew were running cables and moving from place to place as speakers were set up and connected. Tim, the sound engineer, was already stationed at his board talking to one of the crew members who darted off as soon as Tim was finished speaking.

Lucy stood next to Alex, watching over the crew. “They should be finished with setup around noon. You and Kara will do your sound check first.”

Alex took a sip of her coffee before speaking. “What time do the doors open tonight?”

“6:30,” Lucy answered, before adding on, “You’ll have plenty of time to take the nap I know you’re already planning. Maybe just don’t invite Maggie back to the bus with you this time so you actually get some sleep.”

Alex reached out to swat at Lucy, but the other woman was already on the move, headed toward the back side of the stage. Rolling her eyes, Alex followed as Lucy led her toward the dressing rooms and green room that she, Kara, and the rest of the band would be able to use before the show.

At the end of the tour, Lucy led Alex to the room that had been set up with catering. Nearly everyone else was already present and eating. Maggie and the guys were seated at a table with Kara, talking and laughing. Glancing in Alex’s direction, Maggie smiled as their eyes met, and Alex felt that familiar flip flop in her stomach. She smiled back while at the same time wondering how the other woman could look so flawless when she hadn’t gotten much more sleep than Alex.

Filling a plate, Alex grabbed a bottle of water and made her way to the table, taking the empty seat next to Kara. Zoning in and out of the conversations around her, Alex caught enough snippets to learn that Kara, James, and Winn had spent much of the bus ride playing Mario Kart on a Super Nintendo console he’d packed for the tour.

Stepping behind Alex and Kara’s chairs, Lucy interrupted the group. “Hey, sorry, guys, but it’s time for your soundcheck.”

“Oh, yay!” Kara leaped from her chair and dashed from the room.

The rest of the table stared after her. 

“Someone is definitely excited for tonight,” Winn commented, staring at the empty space where Kara had been moments before.

“Yeah,” Alex deadpanned. “Sometimes I think if she moved any faster, she’d actually be able to fly.”

Clearing away her dishes and trash, Alex left the others at catering and headed back toward the performance area. Kara was already on the stage, adjusting her microphone stand. Alex was met by a crew member who handed over her in-ear monitors as she climbed the steps to the stage. As she joined Kara, Alex couldn’t help but picture the arena filled with people. She could already sense the energy that came with a crowd excited to see a concert. As much as she loved being home and having normal day-to-day responsibilities, Alex had missed the feeling of being on a stage.

As the lighting technician worked through the opening of the show, music began to fill Alex’s monitors. Letting everything else that had been filling her mind the past few weeks slip away, Alex gave herself over to the music. Going through a majority of the songs on their setlist, any technical snags that came up were quickly dealt with, and an hour later, Alex and Kara were handing their monitors back over and leaving the stage.

Kara yawned as she turned to Alex. “I’m gonna head back to the bus and sleep for a little bit. You coming?”

Bouncing on her toes, Alex shook her head. “I need to work off a little bit of this leftover energy first. I’ll go find Maggie and the guys and let them know they can do their soundcheck.”

Giving her sister a thumbs-up as she yawned again, Kara headed toward the back exit. Alex went back to the catering area only to find it empty. Checking each of the dressing rooms, she finally found James and Winn in the green room, hanging out as they waited for their time on the stage but no Maggie.

“I think she headed back to the bus,” Winn said as the boys stood to head out of the room.

“I’ll go find her,” Alex offered. “Let her know they’re ready for you guys.”

Alex left the room, heading toward the exit and the buses as the boys made their way to the performance area. As she stepped outside, Alex shielded her eyes from the sun and walked toward where all four buses were lined up side by side. She noticed the door to The Renegade’s bus was open. 

Without hesitating, Alex climbed the steps onto the bus. What she found had her stopping short. Sitting on the couch was Maggie. Sitting on the couch with her was Darla, the tour make-up artist. They weren’t just sitting on the couch. They were kissing. One of Maggie’s hands was on Darla’s waist and the other was cupping her cheek. Darla’s hands were in Maggie’s hair.

Alex’s heart felt like it had been ripped from her chest.

She was frozen, staring at the two women, their lips pressed together. Alex had spent more time than she cared to admit imagining herself in this position with Maggie. Finding out what Maggie’s skin felt like under her fingertips, what it felt like to run fingers through her hair, how her lips tasted. The thought of someone else experiencing these instead of her had Alex’s gut twisting with jealousy. 

As the women pulled apart, Darla noticed Alex’s presence, her eyes going wide. Darla’s reaction caused Maggie to look over, and Alex thought she saw a hint of embarrassment in Maggie’s eyes. The reaction didn’t make sense to Alex. Maggie was free to be with whomever she wanted, much to Alex’s disappointment.

The three of them were silent as they stared at one another for a beat. Finally, Maggie spoke, “Danvers?”

Somehow Alex shook the shock away, remembering why she had been looking for Maggie in the first place. The steadiness of her own voice surprised Alex. “They’re ready for your soundcheck. James and Winn are already on stage.”

And then Alex was quickly stepping back off the bus and heading toward her own. She registered Maggie’s voice calling after her, but she kept walking. As Alex reached the steps to her bus, a hand landed on her upper arm, pulling her back.

“Danvers,” she heard Maggie behind her. “Alex, wait.”

Bracing herself, Alex turned. As soon as her eyes landed on Maggie, she could see the worry in the other woman’s eyes. 

Maggie glanced back toward her bus before looking at Alex once again. “Do you think you could keep what you saw to yourself?”

Alex’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Why would Maggie care if anyone knew she was kissing another woman? 

Putting one hand on her hip and running the other through her hair, Maggie added quietly, “Darla isn’t out, and she doesn’t want anyone to know.”

Oh. “Right, yeah, no. I won’t say anything.” Then she offered the one piece of security that she couldn’t count on for herself. “But her being gay isn’t going to jeopardize her job on this tour.”

“Yeah, well, this tour isn’t her only source of income. And not everyone in this industry feels safe enough to be out.” 

Alex felt the words punch her in the gut. She knew that. She was the living embodiment of that. Crossing her arms in an attempt to keep her truth trapped inside, Alex could only nod in response.

Maggie tipped her head back and released a heavy breath before looking directly at Alex. “I was outed when I was fourteen, and it certainly hasn’t been a cakewalk trying to build a career in country music.” 

Seeing a hint of the same vulnerability from the night before, Alex tried her best to ignore all of the emotions currently swirling in her gut. She squeezed herself tighter, meeting Maggie’s eyes. “I promise, I won’t say anything.”

Gaze softening, Maggie’s body seemed to release a bit of the tension she’d carried with her off the bus. “Thanks, Danvers. I, uh, I better get to the soundcheck. See you before the show tonight?”

“Yeah, of course,” Alex nodded, watching as Maggie gave her a small wave before turning away and walking toward the door into the back of the arena.

Dragging herself up the steps of the bus, Alex angrily swiped away a stray tear. Determined to get some sleep and escape all of the feelings that were at war within her body, Alex opened a small cabinet in the kitchen area. She reached inside and wrapped her hand around the neck of the bottle of scotch she had stashed on the bus the week before they’d left. 

Pulling a tumbler from another cabinet, Alex made her way to her bedroom at the back of the bus, closing the door and sinking into her bed as more tears silently rolled down her cheeks.

Chapter Text

“So calm and so cool, yeah I try to be
Like it don’t bother me”

Alex glanced at Kara, taking in a breath to join her sister on the harmony of the next lines of the song.

“The last time was the last time
Until I’m all alone
Then picking up the phone”

Looking out over the Sacramento crowd, fans were on their feet and moving to the tempo of the opening number. The song had been one of Better Angels’ highest charting singles over the past year, so she and Kara knew it would be a great choice for starting their shows.

“Give it one more call
It’s one more ‘whatcha doin right now?’
It’s one more trip to my side of town
And you walk right in
To one more here we go again”

As the song moved into the chorus, Alex closed her eyes, one hand wrapped around her mic stand and the other raised above her head. She danced and immersed herself completely into the music filling the space around her and feeding off the energy from the crowd.

“One more drink leads to another
You slide up close to me
Tear the t-shirts off each other
Your hands all over me”

Two weeks in and having already traveled from one coast to the other, ticket sales were outperforming what had been projected. Every show was performed for a packed venue. 

“I tell myself I’m not in love
But one more time is not enough
One last kiss and then you’re a goner
And I’m here wishing you could stay a little longer”

Alex had boxed away the events in North Carolina. Deciding it was safest to proceed with caution, she knocked and waited a good ten seconds before entering any room or stepping onto any bus. She hadn’t stumbled across Maggie and Darla together in the same space again, and Alex chose to remain oblivious as to whether or not the women were spending any more time with one another.

It had taken Darla a few shows to relax around her again, and Alex tried to be at ease around Maggie. She could feel her guard go up any time she was in the other woman’s presence, and she forced herself not to flinch or pull away whenever Maggie was close to her or reached out toward her. And Alex was now noticing how often Maggie would lay a hand on her arm or her shoulder or her back. She both relished and dreaded every touch.

But right now, Alex was doing what she loved. She let everything else fall away and used the music, the lyrics, and Kara’s singing to ground her to the present and enjoy being on stage in front of a crowd of people who were there to see her and Kara.

****

The following day was an off-day for the tour. Less than a hundred miles to their next destination in Oakland, it was important for the entire crew to have some downtime.

Alex and Kara had been scheduled to appear on a morning country radio show. While appearances like these weren’t Alex’s favorite, and she preferred to let Kara do most of the speaking, she had learned early on how much an artist’s success relied on handshakes and favors just as much as hit songs/records.

So at nine in the morning with a large coffee in hand, Alex climbed into the backseat of the hired SUV with Kara, while Lucy rode in the front. A well-known reputation as “not a morning person,” Lucy and Kara talked quietly, leaving Alex to watch out the window as the California scenery passed by. It wasn’t until they were finally pulling up to the radio station that Lucy reached back from her seat to press a hand to Alex’s knee.

“You ready?” A gentle smile formed on Lucy’s face. She knew how much Alex disliked doing these tour interviews.

Alex shrugged. “As I’ll ever be.”

The women stepped out of the car, Lucy giving the driver directions on where to park and wait for them. Alex hung toward the back of the small group, letting Lucy and Kara take charge in finding where they needed to go. 

As she followed, Alex gathered herself, trying to get into the right headspace for this interview. Most tended to stick to questions about their music, their tour when they had one, and what it was like being in a music duo with her own sister. Every so often, questions about their parents, more specifically Jeremiah, would come up. Those were the ones Alex had to steel herself for.

So Alex stayed in her own bubble until they were led into the studio with Randy, the host of the station’s morning show. Alex turned on the charm, making nice and laughing when appropriate. She settled into a chair next to Kara and pulled the offered headphones over her ears, adjusting the microphone in front of her. Lucy stood on the other side of the glass in the control room, eyes watching closely.

As the song that had been playing came to an end, Randy pulled his microphone back toward him and shifted into his radio voice. “Have we got a special treat for all of you this morning listening to 95.3 WRTY. In the midst of their current national tour and joining me in the studio, Alexandra and Kara Danvers, the duo that makes up Better Angels. I know you had a show last night, so thank you so much for coming in this morning.”

Kara, ever the ray of sunshine, piped up. “Of course! We’re happy to be here!”

Randy chuckled, “Now, I have to admit, I’m old enough to have been on the country scene back in the day when your parents were at the top of the charts.”

Immediately, Alex felt her body tense. She glanced at Lucy, who gave her a subtle nod of support. The feeling of Kara squeezing her leg kept Alex grounded as Randy continued.

“While classic country will always have a place in my heart, I gotta say what you two are bringing to the country scene is refreshing.”

Alex laughed, mostly in relief, as Kara responded again, “Thank you so much, Randy. We know how much the artists before us paved the way, so we do try to honor that while also bringing our own sound and style to country music.”

“Well, I just happen to have your most recent single here, one of my favorites on country radio right now. When we come back we’ll talk more about your tour and when fans can expect your next album.” 

And with that, Randy cued the song and then excused himself from the studio. As soon as he left, Alex hunched over the table top, appreciative of Kara’s hand that began rubbing soothingly up and down her back. The sisters sat like that, listening to their own voices singing in their headphones. Randy returned a moment later and segued the show back once the song had ended.

“That track has been steadily climbing the charts the last few weeks, and I think between that and your current tour, fans, myself included, are wondering when we can expect new music from Better Angels.”

This time, Alex leaned forward to speak, “We appreciate all of the support we’ve received on this song. It’s one of my personal favorites on the current album. We’ve done a little bit of writing for the next album, but I think right now, we want to put all of our energy into the tour.”

“We want this tour to be the best experience for our fans. Once it’s over, you can probably expect to find us holed up at home or in the studio to focus on the next album,” Kara added.

Laughing, Randy segued onto the next topic, “Speaking of your current tour, you're a couple weeks in and playing tomorrow night at the Oracle Arena in Oakland. I’ve heard great things about the show and that tickets are going fast.”

“Thank you, Randy,” Kara gushed. “We’re really having a lot of fun. It’s always a good time getting to perform on stage with my sister. And we have a great band and great fans. The least we can do is put on a great show.”

“Now, when your tour was first announced, Nia Nal was going to be joining you on the road as your opening act. You made a last minute change just a few weeks before the start of the tour.”

“Unfortunately, Nia had to step down due to a loss in the family. We love Nia dearly and supported her decision. Our hearts go out to Nia and her family, and we hope to get the chance to work with her again in the future.” Alex spoke sincerely.

Randy nodded sadly. “The news about Nia’s mother was tragic, and all of us here at WRTY offer the family our deepest sympathies. In the light of Nia’s departure, you found your tour without an opening act, but it seems you were able to fill that vacancy. And with a band virtually unknown outside of Nashville.”

“We decided to go in a slightly different direction,” Kara jumped in. “We wanted to give an unknown, unsigned artist the chance to join a national tour. Through some connections within our team, we heard about The Renegades. Alex and I went to one of their shows at The Bluebird, and now they’re our opening act.”

“Once they were announced, I was able to find some videos of performances, and they are a talented group,” Randy replied.

“We’re really glad to have them on tour with us,” Alex said, “and the crowds have been loving them.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Randy nodded before adding, “I am curious if you’re aware of the resistance you’ve been receiving online over bringing them on tour with you.”

There was silence in the studio as Alex, confused, looked at Kara who was staring at Randy, a crinkle appearing between her eyebrows.

“I-I’m sorry,” Kara stammered. “I’m not sure we know what you're talking about.”

Randy cleared his throat, “It seems some of your fans aren’t happy about The Renegades being associated with you. Or more specifically, their lead singer, Maggie.”

Alex straightened in her chair immediately, protectiveness curling in her chest for her friend. “Maggie is a very talented musician and a wonderful person.”

Randy pushed on, “It seems some of your fans aren’t approving of her being so open about her sexuality. Some are even going so far as saying they’re going to boycott your tour because of Maggie.”

Rage bubbled inside of Alex. She glanced through the glass to Lucy. If anyone knew these things were being said online, it would be their tour manager. Lucy kept her finger on the pulse of nearly everything regarding Better Angels whenever they were on tour. Despite attempting to keep her face expressionless, Alex could see the caution in Lucy’s eyes. Lucy gave Alex a nearly imperceptible shake of the head, and Alex knew it was a warning to watch what she said next.

Alex saw Kara open her mouth to speak, but before she could let her sister say something that would be an attempt at placating, she put a hand on Kara’s arm to stop her.

“If they have a problem with Maggie because she’s gay, then we don’t want them as fans,” Alex growled, trying not to let her anger get out of control. “Maggie is a good person, and she’s become a close friend these past couple of months. She and The Renegades deserve to be on this tour, and they deserve all of the success that comes their way despite what a bunch of homophobic people say online.”

Alex pushed back from the table and microphone, removing her headphones.  As she walked out of the studio, she noticed the wide-eyed look on Kara’s face and Lucy’s hand over her eyes. Alex felt ready to fight the world. For Maggie and any other queer artist who wanted a place in country music. Well almost.

Stepping out the door of the radio station, Alex heard Lucy call after her. “Alex. Just stop for a second.”

Alex whirled around causing Lucy to almost run right into her. She looked her tour manager and friend in the eye. “Did you know what they were saying online? About Maggie?”

“Of course I knew,” Lucy stated, sighing heavily. “It’s a small group of close-minded homophobes. It’s not affecting ticket sales, and I didn’t see any reason why you or Kara needed to know. Especially considering how you just reacted in there.”

“It’s bullshit,” Alex seethed, pointing at Lucy before turning and continuing to walk toward where their driver was parked. She caught a glimpse of Kara hurrying toward them. Alex wasn’t in the mood to hear whatever spin Kara had put on things after she’d left the studio. She loved her sister, but sometimes Kara became more focused on playing the mediator.

“You’re right, it is,” Lucy called after her, following. “But you aren’t going to change their minds. What you can do is keep supporting Maggie, keep supporting The Renegades.”

Alex stopped outside the vehicle and looked at Lucy. “How is that any different than what I’ve been doing?”

Lucy grabbed Alex’s arm before she could open the car door. Alex took a deep breath before turning back to Lucy, Kara standing just behind their tour manager. 

Lucy let go of Alex’s arm. “J’onn and I talked earlier this week. The label wasn’t thrilled about the rumblings on the internet, even as minimal as it was, but he convinced them to look at this as an opportunity.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Alex chose to ignore the fact that J’onn and Lucy had been talking about this without her or Kara and instead asked, “What kind of opportunity?”

“To be an ally, to show that they support every person no matter their sexuality.”

“And they agreed?” Alex huffed in surprise. She’d seen over the years just how homophobic and misogynistic country music and, even more so, country music fans could be. That their label would consider showing support for the LGBTQ+ community was hard to believe.

“They did. I think they can see that the tide is turning. Slowly, yes, but they recognize it’s better for them to be on the front end of it than seen as dragging their feet. J’onn made some phone calls, and we have a couple of organizations that are interested in partnering with you, or more specifically Maggie, for the rest of the tour.” Lucy continued explaining.

“Just Maggie?” Alex asked, unsure if she was feeling relief or disappointment. 

Lucy shrugged, “That’s up to you. Maggie can partner by herself, or Better Angels can join in the partnership. J’onn and I wanted to leave that decision up to you and Kara.”

Alex looked at Lucy, knowing that Lucy knew Alex’s deepest secret. That Lucy was offering her this opportunity but also giving her an out if she needed it. Maybe this could be a tiny step closer to the closet door that she’d buried herself in. Alex didn’t have to come barreling out of it declaring to the world that she was gay. But she could support Maggie, and more importantly, she could support the fans that were often ignored and saw themselves in Maggie. 

Before Alex could say anything, Kara spoke from behind Lucy. “Let’s do it.”

Alex and Lucy both turned their attention to Kara, who stood with her hands on her hips. “I asked Randy to show me what people were saying, and it’s awful and unfair, and I told him that. Maggie doesn’t deserve any of it. No one does. Everyone should feel safe and accepted no matter what. We have a platform, and I think we should use it to show our support for Maggie and the LGBTQ+ community.”

Both women stared at Kara in silence, causing the other woman to become self-conscious.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” Kara began wiping a hand around her mouth.

Reaching forward, Alex pulled her sister into a tight embrace. Kara’s eyes widened in surprise, but then she was wrapping her arms around Alex.

“Thank you,” Alex whispered, unable to hide the slight tremble in her voice.

Kara pulled back, looking at Alex, confused. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I want to do this for Maggie?”

Right. For Maggie.

Alex cleared her throat, trying to pull her emotions back into check. “I just, I know how much Maggie will appreciate it.”

Stepping back into the conversation and with a comforting hand on Alex’s back, Lucy spoke, “I’ll let J’onn know, and we’ll get some meetings set up. In the meantime, I think something sweet and sugary sounds great right about now.”

“Ooo, yes, please,” Kara squealed, clapping her hands and racing to the other side of the SUV.

Before she opened her own door, Alex smiled at Lucy, hoping it conveyed all of her appreciation. “Thanks, Luce.”

Lucy nodded and squeezed Alex’s arm in response before moving to open the front passenger door for herself.

Climbing into the SUV, Alex felt lighter than she had in a while. She was excited for what felt like a step closer to who she was, and she couldn’t wait to share this new plan with Maggie.

Chapter Text

Over the next month, the tour traveled up the West Coast, into Canada, arching through the provinces before they made their way back down into Pennsylvania and through a few cities in the Midwest. By the time they hit their stop in Milwaukee, it was the end of July, and everyone was ready for the month-long break that would follow.

The previous month had continued to be a success, venue after venue filled with large crowds. Support for Maggie and The Renegades had grown, as well, since Kara and Alex's now-viral radio interview early in the tour. 

When Alex, Kara, and Lucy had returned to the buses parked at the Oakland arena, Maggie tackled Alex as soon as she stepped out of the SUV, engulfing her in a hug.  It turned out that Maggie, James, and Winn had been listening to the interview on their bus and heard everything that was said. Not expecting Maggie’s reaction, Alex could only hug her back as the other woman whispered a quiet “Thank you” against her neck.

Having agreed on the drive back that they didn’t want to overwhelm Maggie with the news of the new partnership offers, it was decided that Alex would be the one to talk to her. Kara volunteered to hang out on The Renegade’s bus with James and Winn, and Alex invited Maggie onto her and Kara’s bus under the guise of offering her cupcakes from the bakery the women had found on their way back from the radio interview.

****

Sitting on the couch, Alex handed Maggie a chocolate, peanut butter cupcake. (Also vegan, which Alex had made sure of.) Maggie took the proffered cupcake, eyeing Alex suspiciously.

“Why do I feel like you’re buttering me up for something?”

Alex laughed, “The cupcake was not purchased for that intention, but I do have something to talk to you about.”

Lowering the cupcake, Maggie’s posture straightened, worry creeping into her eyes. Alex reached over and placed her hand on the other woman’s wrist. “It’s nothing bad, I promise. In fact, I think it’s really, really good.”

Maggie relaxed slightly. “Okay. What is it?”

Pulling her hand back from Maggie, Alex clasped her own in her lap, looking at them and gathering her thoughts. “J’onn convinced the label that we should partner with a few LGBTQ organizations for the remainder of the tour. To help bring awareness to the lack of support and acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community in country music .”

“Alex, that’s great!” Maggie beamed, a grin lighting up her face.

Alex looked up at Maggie,  holding her gaze as she added, “The primary partnership will be with you. Kara and I would be a secondary partnership, but they want you to lead the initiative. ”

Staring at Alex, Maggie appeared stunned by the information. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Alex nodded, “I spoke to J’onn on the way back, and he has secured agreements with The Trevor Project, It Gets Better Project, and True Colors United. They’re very eager to meet with you and get started on marketing materials. Representatives will be joining us at our next stop in Bakersfield.”

Alex watched as Maggie’s eyes filled with tears. Unsure what else to do, Alex pulled the other woman to her and wrapped her in a hug. At the sound of a soft sob, she rubbed Maggie’s back soothingly. After a few moments, Maggie’s tears slowed, and she pulled back from Alex, wiping her eyes.

“Sorry,” she said, reaching out to straighten Alex’s now crumpled shirt.

Alex waved her hand in the air between them. “Don’t be.”

Grabbing Alex’s hand and pulling it toward her, Maggie looked at her, sincerity on her face. “Thank you, Alex. This means more to me than you can imagine. Growing up a non-white, non-straight girl in Blue Springs, Nebraska..…I might as well have been from Mars. I was an outcast and felt like it. If there had been just one person like me in country music to look up to, it would have made a difference. If I can be that for at least one kid out there, that will be enough.”

“You’re going to be great, Maggie,” Alex softly assured her, reaching out to wipe a fresh tear from Maggie’s cheek before she could stop herself.  

****

In the month following, photoshoots had taken place, multiple social media campaigns, and each organization set up information booths with representatives in each venue for every stop of the tour. Rainbow flags started making an appearance in the crowd, especially during The Renegade’s performances.

The groups began taking turns joining one another during their sets. Kara and Alex had initially invited Maggie and the boys to the stage with them for a song or two, but then the other group insisted that the sisters join them on stage during the opening. They had tried to argue that they didn’t want to steal The Renegade’s spotlight, but the group had countered that if it weren’t for Better Angels they wouldn’t have a spotlight.

Alex also began switching up her wardrobe over the next few tour stops, opting for jeans and t-shirts more often than her usual “girly” outfits. 

Now that the first leg of the tour was coming to an end, everyone was making plans for their month off. James was headed to Metropolis to visit friends, and Winn had decided to go to Newark to see his parents. Alex and Kara were flying to Midvale to spend time with their mother. Maggie hadn’t disclosed her plans, but Alex had a sinking suspicion that the other woman didn’t have any.

At the end of the night, after they’d finished their performance in Milwaukee, Alex and Kara walked to their bus to find Maggie standing next to it, waiting for them.

“Hey,” Maggie gave the sisters a small wave. “I just wanted to say goodbye before you left.”

Kara was the first to step forward and pull Maggie into a hug. “Did the guys already leave?”

“Yeah, they shared an Uber to the airport,” Maggie answered as she hugged Kara back.

Pulling away from Maggie, Kara held her at arms’ length, looking her in the eye. “And what are you planning to do?”

Dropping her own eyes to the ground, Maggie shrugged. “I’m just gonna ride the bus back to Nashville, hang out in my apartment for the next few weeks.”

Alex opened her mouth to protest, but before she could say anything, Kara beat her to it. “Absolutely not. You’re coming to Midvale with us.”

Both women’s heads whipped in Kara’s direction at the same time. “What?”

Kara released Maggie’s arms and took hold of her hands. “Maggie, you deserve an actual vacation, not sitting in your apartment alone for four weeks. You don’t have to stay the whole time, but at least spend a few days with us. Eliza has been dying to meet you, and I’m sure the sun and beach would be good for you.”

Alex watched as Kara began to pout and she gave Maggie her best puppy dog eyes. Trying to hide her own laughter over her sister’s antics, Alex couldn’t help but hope Maggie accepted the invitation. Yes, she still had a crush on Maggie, and yes, she still had to push her urges to kiss/hold/touch the other woman into a box and lock them away. But during this time on the road, Maggie had also become one of her best friends, and Alex hated the idea of her alone in Nashville while everyone else was enjoying their time off in other parts of the country.

Maggie held strong for a few seconds before breaking into laughter. “Alright, alright. I’ll go with you. Just…put those things away. Geez.” Looking over Kara’s shoulder at Alex, she added. “How do you not give her everything she asks for with those eyes, Danvers?”

“Years of practice,” Alex shrugged. “I’m pretty much immune at this point.”

Ignoring the banter, Kara pulled Maggie into another hug before shooing the woman off to her bus to get her bags. Seeming happier than when they’d first found her by the bus, Maggie rolled her eyes as she went off to do as ordered. 

Before Alex could step onto their bus, Kara grabbed hold of her arm. “Hey, I hope you don’t mind that I invited Maggie with us.”

“Of course not,” Alex insisted. “If you hadn’t, I would have.”

Kara let out a breath, “Okay, good. And I think Eliza will enjoy getting to know Maggie.”

As she climbed the steps onto the bus, Alex silently hoped Maggie was prepared for meeting the elder Danvers, knowing how indulgent Eliza could be.

Kara and Alex already had a car scheduled to pick them up, so Maggie’s things were loaded along with their own, and all three women headed for the airport. With the late hour for the flight, it was relatively easy to secure an extra ticket for Maggie.

Exhaustion took over as soon as the plane leveled out after take-off. Alex woke two hours into the flight, head buried in her travel pillow resting against the window. She slowly became conscious of the weight of someone sleeping on her chest. In her groggy state, Alex expected to find Kara drooling on her but was surprised when she looked down to see Maggie. Alex’s heart stuttered when she realized her own arm had wrapped around the other woman at some point. Knowing she was playing with fire, but unwilling to wake Maggie, Alex tightened her hold and dropped her head back to her pillow. As her eyes closed and she slipped to sleep again, Alex felt Maggie snuggle deeper into her as an arm snaked around her waist.

Six hours and a different time zone later, the women stepped off the plane in Los Angeles and quickly located the car and driver waiting for them. Once all of their things were loaded in the back, the car pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward Midvale. 

The sun now making an appearance over the horizon, Alex propped her travel pillow against the window of the car, attempting to adjust it so the light was blocked. The feeling of Maggie’s hand on her knee stopped Alex’s movements. She lifted her head and looked at the other woman.

“Give me your pillow,” Maggie requested, holding her hand out, palm up, between them.

Alex wasn’t sure why Maggie needed her pillow when she had her own, but she pulled it from the window anyway and handed it over. She watched as Maggie placed it in her lap and patted it. “I used you as a pillow for almost the entire flight. The least I can do is offer you the same.”

Maggie patted the pillow again and motioned for Alex to lay down. Her brain telling her this was a bad idea was no match for how tired her body felt. Adjusting her seatbelt so that she could safely maneuver herself, Alex laid her head in Maggie’s lap. As soon as she was settled, Maggie’s fingers sifted through her hair. Alex bit back a moan at the feeling, sinking deeper as her eyes closed once again and she drifted to sleep.

Alex continued to snooze, images of herself and Maggie together flitting across her mind. The feeling of a hand gently shaking her shoulder pulled Alex back to consciousness.

“Danvers, we’re here.” Maggie quietly urged her awake.

Movements slow, Alex sat up, running a hand through what she imagined was very unruly hair, and looked at her surroundings. The sun was fully over the horizon now, shining down on the house, and Eliza, who was standing on the front stoop, coffee cup in hand. Kara was the first out of the car, rushing forward to hug their mother. Alex gathered her things before opening the door and slowly stepping onto the driveway. She waited for Maggie to come around the car before walking toward the house. 

As the two women stepped up to the front of the house, Eliza turned her focus to Alex. “Welcome home, Sweetheart.”      

Alex was pulled into a hug, realizing how long it had been since she’d had a hug from her mother, before motioning to the woman next to her. “Mom, this is Maggie.”

Eliza stepped forward and pulled a bemused Maggie into a hug. “It is so nice to finally meet you, Maggie. As much as Alex talks about you, I feel like I practically know you already.”

Cheeks blazing, Alex cursed her mother internally as Maggie looked at her with a grin. “All good things, I hope.”

“Oh, of course,” Eliza laughed as she ushered everyone inside the house. “I’m sure Kara would have more things to tell me about you if she ever stopped talking about James.”

It was Kara’s turn to blush as she playfully swatted Eliza on the arm. “Mom!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Eliza put her hands up, but Alex caught the wink she sent Maggie. “Now as happy as I am to have my girls home, I’m sure all three of you could use a bit of sleep. Alex and Kara, I put fresh sheets on your beds, and I have Maggie set up in the guest room if you could show her where it is. I’ll plan a late lunch so you all can rest and shower.”

And with that, all three women were sent upstairs. Alex showed Maggie the guest room before following Kara into their shared childhood room where her sister was already pulling the blinds down. Dropping her bags on the floor, Alex pulled off her pants and crawled under the covers, relishing the feeling of a real bed for the first time in weeks.

****

The next few days were a blur of activity. Kara dragged everyone to the beach on their first full day in Midvale. Alex didn’t mind too much as it gave her a chance to show off her surfing skills much to Maggie’s surprise. Alex was sure she didn’t imagine the desire she saw in Maggie’s eyes when she walked back toward the women lounging on the beach, surfboard under her arm and water dripping off her body. 

Kara accompanied Eliza to the grocery store, so Alex used the opportunity to take Maggie sightseeing. Each destination was accompanied by a story from Alex and Kara’s younger days. Their high school where Alex (accidentally) blew up a lab during a Chemistry class. The diner that had a picture of Kara on the wall after she had eaten ten hot dogs in ten minutes. The music store where Jeremiah had bought Kara and Alex their first guitars. 

One of the things Alex appreciated most about the town was that she could just be Alex. Everyone had grown so used to the Danvers living among them that it was rare for Alex or Kara or Eliza especially to be treated like a celebrity. 

It did however warm Alex’s heart to witness Maggie be recognized during their outing. 

Stopping at the local cafe, Alex noticed a young girl, eleven or twelve if she had to guess, glancing at Maggie as they waited for their drinks. Alex knew the look, she had seen it enough times. She watched the girl trying to work up the courage to approach Maggie. Softly nudging the woman next to her, Alex tipped her head in the girl’s direction. “I think someone wants to meet you.”

Maggie turned, giving the girl a small wave and a dimpled grin. The acknowledgment seemed to be enough for the girl to finally walk toward them.

“Hi,” Maggie greeted softly.

“Hi,” the girl responded, eyeing the woman in front of her. “You’re Maggie Sawyer, right?”

Maggie nodded. “I am. What’s your name?”

"Sophia.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Sophia,” Maggie smiled, sincerity in her voice.

“Can I have your autograph?” The sudden question seemed to surprise Sophia herself, her eyes widening after she asked.

Maggie laughed softly. “Of course.”

As Sophia swung her backpack around, Alex caught sight of a rainbow pin attached to the front. Reaching inside the girl withdrew a notebook and a purple pen, offering both to Maggie. Alex watched as Maggie wrote Sophia's name on a blank page but, not wanting to be nosy, looked away as she went on to write a note of some sort. When Maggie was finished, she handed the notebook and pen back to Sophia, whose eyes lit up even more at whatever Maggie had written.

“Oh my gosh, thank you!” Sophia gushed. “I have to go show this to Liv. She’s never going to believe it. We’ve watched, like, every video of you singing that we can find.”

Maggie laughed again, “Well then I’ll consider you and Liv my number one fans.”

“That’s so cool!” Sophia’s eyes grew bigger as she clutched the notebook to her chest. "Thank you so much! Bye!”

And then the girl was rushing out of the cafe, Maggie and Alex watching her go.

“So, your first fan encounter out in the wild. How did it feel?” Alex asked.

“Really, really good,” Maggie grinned. “Though I’m hoping when she said every video, that doesn’t include the one from my high school talent show.”

“Seriously?” Alex pulled her phone from her pocket and started typing.

Maggie eyed her curiously. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for that video.”

“Don’t you dare, Danvers.” Maggie tried to snatch Alex’s phone, but Alex held it out of Maggie’s reach as she grabbed her order from the counter and headed out the door. 

They spent another half hour walking around the town before returning to the Danvers’ house. That night, the women all sat around the dinner table enjoying a home-cooked meal and conversation. Eliza regaled them with stories from her past, surprised at the amount of knowledge Maggie possessed about country music’s golden years.

After dinner, Alex, Kara, and Maggie insisted on clearing the table and washing dishes. Eliza didn’t put up much of a fight before relenting and excusing herself to her bedroom for the night. Once everything was clean, Kara mumbled something about making a phone call, and Maggie and Alex gave one another a knowing look. Drying off their hands, Alex and Maggie stood in the kitchen, awkward silence surrounding them. Alex wasn’t ready to part ways with Maggie, even though they’d spent most of the day together.

“Have you ever seen the stars from the beach?” Alex blurted.

“Can’t say that I have,” Maggie replied, a small smile on her face.

“Do you want to?” Alex tried not to sound too hopeful.

“Sure, Danvers,” Maggie chuckled. “Lead the way.”

Grabbing a blanket from a cabinet in the laundry room, Alex led Maggie along the path that connected the house to the beach. Spreading the blanket over the sand, Alex laid on her back, leaving Maggie room on the other half.

Alex kept her focus on the sky as Maggie made herself comfortable, laying on her back next to Alex. Both women stared at the sky before Alex heard Maggie whisper, “It’s beautiful.”

“It is,” Alex agreed. “I always miss this sight when I'm in Nashville. It doesn’t look the same, and there’s too much light pollution to be able to get a good view. I’ve missed it so much I’ve driven the thirty minutes to Bell’s Bend Park just to get away from the bright lights and be able to see the stars.”

“I’d miss them too with a scene like this,” Maggie said quietly.

Alex felt the other woman shift closer, Maggie’s warmth pressing against her left side. “Can you tell me about them?”

Taking a steadying breath, Alex willed her heart to slow despite Maggie’s sudden closeness. Gathering her wits, Alex pointed to the sky. “Do you see the stars that look like they’re forming a W?”

Maggie shifted even closer, leaning her head against Alex’s shoulder, and Alex was sure Maggie could hear her heart pounding in her chest. After a moment, Maggie raised her own finger, tracing the line of stars. “Yes, right there.”

“That’s Cassiopeia,” Alex breathed, trying to focus on her knowledge of the stars rather than the woman next to her. “The constellation has many stars, but the five main ones can be traced to make the W shape. Cassiopeia was a queen in Greek mythology. She angered Poseidon by claiming herself to be more beautiful than the sea nymphs. As punishment, she was placed in the sky. Her husband and daughter were also placed among the stars with her.”

“That’s sad,” Maggie murmured, “but also kinda romantic.”

Alex turned her head toward Maggie, watching the other woman study the sky. A breeze caused a strand of hair to flutter into Maggie’s face, and before Alex could stop herself, she reached over and brushed it away, tucking the hair behind Maggie’s ear. Alex’s hand rested against Maggie’s cheek as brown eyes found hers. The women stared at one another for another breath, and then Alex was rolling onto her side, pulling Maggie’s face toward her own until their lips met.

There was a moment of hesitation before Maggie returned the kiss, hand reaching for Alex’s waist, urging her closer. Heat radiated throughout Alex’s body as though a match had been struck and her entire being set ablaze. 

All the months of pent-up tension and longing and desire that Alex had forced herself to hold back came surging forward.

And now she was kissing Maggie. 

Shit.

She was kissing Maggie.

Alex jerked away, sitting up with her knees to her chest and dropping her head in her hands. She was an idiot. She’d fought her crush, pushed all of her feelings and wants into as many boxes as she needed, and in a matter of moments, she’d ruined it all. 

But, god, it felt so good. To finally let her desires rise to the surface. To kiss the woman she felt so much for. That she felt more for than any other woman before. 

And fuck she was tired. Tired of hiding. Tired of managing all of the little boxes that held every forbidden desire. Alex was tired of pretending.

She felt a tear slip down her cheek as she braced herself for Maggie’s reaction. 

Alex felt Maggie shift beside her. She expected the other woman to get up and leave, but instead heard, “Alex, I am so sorry.”

Head still buried in her hands, Alex softly replied, “Don’t.”

She heard Maggie let out a heavy breath. “No, Alex, you’re my friend. I know better than to fall for my friends. Especially my straight friends.”

And Alex couldn’t help but laugh. She could imagine the look Maggie was probably giving her as more tears fell and mixed with the laughter that continued to bubble out of her chest. 

Worry was evident in Maggie’s voice. “Alex?”

Finally lifting her head, Alex looked at Maggie. There was concern and fear in her eyes, and Alex wanted to take it all away. And she really was so fucking tired.

“I’m gay.”

Words that Alex had only ever spoken out loud to one other person. Words that she’d repeated to herself in the mirror until she could say them without hesitation. Words that she was giving to Maggie.

She watched as Maggie’s face slipped from concern to confusion to comprehension.

“You’re gay,” Maggie repeated.

“Yeah,” Alex breathed out. And now that those words were out, the rest came easier. “I have spent my life being so afraid of how others see me, that I’ve been hiding. I’ve built an entire career around being someone I'm not.”

“You’re gay.” 

Alex chuckled. “Yeah, Maggie. I’m gay.”

Maggie put her hands over her face, shaking her head back and forth. “I’m sorry. It’s just…” Maggie paused, dropping her hands and looking at Alex, her eyes tracing over the other woman’s face. The next words were spoken softly, “I have spent every day since we met telling myself you’re off-limits.”

Laughter was tumbling out of Alex once again. 

Confusion filled Maggie’s eyes, and Alex cut off her own laughter before she murmured, “I’ve been telling myself the same thing.”

“Are you serious?” The vulnerability on Maggie’s face had Alex turning and reaching for her hand.

“You’re a beautiful, talented badass who is fearlessly living her truth. How could I not fall for you?” Alex’s voice was filled with reverence. She dropped her eyes to the sand before adding, “You’re not afraid to be who you are. You put your whole self out there, never pretending to be someone you aren’t. I wish I had as much courage as you do.”

Maggie squeezed Alex’s hand, drawing Alex’s attention back to her. “Don’t compare your journey to mine. That’s not fair to you. I was outed when I was fourteen. I didn’t have a choice.”

The sound of the ocean lapping at the shore was the only sound as the women stared at one another. Everything Alex wanted was at her fingertips. She just had to be brave enough to take the chance. But the consequences of her bravery wouldn’t only affect her. There was a wide circle of people whose livelihood depended on her. And that could all come tumbling down.

Realizing she was at a crossroads and had two conflicting choices in front of her, Alex couldn’t stop the tears from forming in her eyes. Squeezing her hand again, Maggie shifted closer. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I want this with you, Maggie. So much,” Alex agonized. “But I’m just not ready. Not yet. And I won’t drag you back into the closet with me. That’s not fair to you.”

As the tears began to slip down her cheeks, Maggie shifted to her knees, putting herself directly in front of Alex as she cupped her face. “I would never ask you to do something you’re not ready for. And I’m not going to let you end this before it’s even had a chance to begin. We’ll figure it out, Alex.”

A spark of hope reignited in Alex’s chest. “We?”

“Yeah,” Maggie whispered, resting her forehead against Alex’s. “We.”

Before she could respond, Maggie tipped Alex’s chin up, capturing her lips in a soft kiss that, to Alex, felt like everything falling into place.

Chapter Text

Alex picked at the corner of the sign in her hand, watching the groups of people walking out of the airport terminal. Checking her phone again, Alex knew that Maggie’s plane had been scheduled to land fifteen minutes ago. She’d been tracking the flight to make sure that it was on time.

Phone suddenly buzzing in her hand, Alex looked at it to find a text from Maggie. 

Just landed. Can’t wait to see you.

Alex smiled at Maggie’s words, glad that she’d decided to surprise her….girlfriend? lover? gal pal? They hadn’t really discussed what they were to each other. Regardless, Alex was anxious to see Maggie again after a week apart.

As she waited and watched for Maggie to appear, Alex’s mind replayed her days with Maggie in Midvale. 

After the kiss on the beach, the women had snuck back into the house and ended up in the guest room. There had been more kissing, but there had also been talking. Hands had found their way under clothes a few times. Ultimately, Alex and Maggie had just reveled being with one another.

Eventually, they fell asleep, tangled together. When Alex had first blinked her eyes open the next morning, confusion had quickly given way to contentment as she felt Maggie’s warmth curled around her back, her arm wrapped around Alex’s waist. This was what Alex wanted every morning for the rest of her life.

The following days were filled with stolen glances, gentle touches, and slipping away for time alone whenever the women felt they could get away with it. Alex had never been one to sneak out of the house while growing up, but every night in Midvale, she would head to bed in the room she shared with Kara and wait for her sister’s breathing to even out before quietly leaving the room and making her way to where Maggie would be waiting in the guest bedroom. Alex felt like a teenager, and she didn’t want the feeling to end.

Almost three weeks into their time in Midvale, Alex found Maggie on the rooftop deck staring out over the ocean. Kara and Eliza had taken a day trip up the coast to visit a winery owned by a friend of Eliza’s. Alex loved her mother, and she tried to make sure she wasn’t spending all of her time with only Maggie. But a day spent at a winery drinking adult grape juice or in bed tangled up with the woman she had fallen for and who wanted her too? That was a no-brainer for Alex.  

The moment the car had pulled out of the driveway, Alex led Maggie back to the guest bedroom with plans for the rest of the morning that didn’t require having to worry about anyone else overhearing them. When Alex had woken a few hours later to an empty bed, she’d gone in search of the other woman. 

Alex couldn’t deny that the sight of Maggie in only a t-shirt, hair blowing in the breeze and the ocean as a backdrop wasn’t one of her new favorite views. Unable to be away from Maggie for another moment, she opened one of the patio doors that led to the deck and softly walked across the deck boards. Wrapping her arms around Maggie’s waist, Alex noticed the cell phone clutched in one hand and Maggie’s attempt to quickly wipe at her eyes. 

Stepping to the side so she could see the other woman’s face, Alex asked, “What’s wrong?”

The smile Maggie plastered on did nothing to ease Alex’s concern. “Nothing. Just enjoying the view.”

Before Alex could say anything else, Maggie wrapped a hand around the back of her neck, pulling Alex into a kiss. Melting into the feeling of Maggie’s lips on hers, Alex’s brain began to fog over with want before she mustered enough of her wits to brace both hands on Maggie’s shoulders and pull away. Maggie’s eyes opened, filled with confusion. Alex cupped her cheek, rubbing a thumb softly across Maggie’s cheekbone. “Something’s bothering you.”

Dropping her eyes, Maggie took in a breath and let it out. “My aunt called.”

“Is everything okay?” Alex asked as she let her hand slide down and rest gently against Maggie’s neck. 

“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine. It’s stupid really.” Maggie clutched the cell phone she was still holding, keeping her eyes averted from Alex’s.

“Maggie,” Alex tilted Maggie’s chin and waited until sad brown eyes met her own. “It’s not stupid if it’s making you upset.”

Maggie’s chin trembled as a single tear slipped down her cheek. She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Talking to her just made me realize how long it’s been since I’ve seen her. I miss her.”

Alex pulled Maggie forward, letting the other woman curl into her chest as she rubbed a soothing hand over her back. “How long has it been?”

“A couple years,” Maggie murmured. “I’ve been so focused on The Renegades, I didn’t realize how much time has passed. I thought about going out during our break, but I just couldn’t spare the money for a ticket yet.”

“I’m sorry, Maggie.” Alex dropped a kiss to the other woman’s head as the wheels in her own mind started turning. 

They had gone back to the guest room, Maggie snuggling into Alex’s side as they lounged on the bed. Laying in the dim room, Maggie shared how she had ended up living with her Aunt María. Alex let Maggie talk, asking questions here and there, but mostly remaining silent as Maggie shared a part of herself that Alex was sure very few got to see. 

Eventually, Maggie had drifted off, face pressed against Alex’s neck. Once she was sure Maggie was asleep, Alex reached for her phone and started searching for tickets to Nebraska. The next morning, Alex left a set of printed tickets on the bed as Maggie slept; a departing ticket for the coming Sunday, and a return ticket to San Diego where the tour would be picking back up the following Monday.

Alex hadn’t expected to suddenly find herself with a sobbing Maggie in her lap, arms wrapped tightly around her neck as she sat eating breakfast with Kara and Eliza. Attempting to quell the looks of surprise and concern her sister and mother were giving the two of them, and trying to curb her own embarrassment, Alex waved a hand in the air and mouthed that she would explain later. Thankfully, the other two women chose to give Alex and Maggie some privacy and carried what was left of their breakfast to the living room.

Tears still in her eyes, Maggie had explained that the tickets were one of the most thoughtful things anyone had ever done for her. She initially insisted on paying Alex back for the tickets, but Alex steadfastly refused. The tickets were a gift, and she would absolutely not let Maggie give her any money for them. Maggie settled for using other means to repay Alex that night when she snuck into the guest room.

They enjoyed two more days together before Maggie would be leaving for the final week of their vacation. Alex attempted to teach Maggie how to surf, though the other woman spent more time in the ocean than on the board. And if Maggie purposefully fell a few times so that she could wrap herself around Alex until she was ready to try again, well, she’d never admit it out loud. They walked along the beach in the moonlight, hand in hand, stealing kisses and playfully splashing one another until Maggie tackled Alex to the sand, and the kisses were freely given.

The day of Maggie’s departure, the women woke early, loaded Maggie’s bag in Eliza’s car, and headed for the airport. Alex was happy that Maggie was going to get to spend time with her aunt, and Maggie’s own excitement reassured Alex that she had made the right choice in buying the tickets for her. But Alex could already feel how much she was going to miss the other woman’s presence. 

They hadn’t been apart since the tour started. Alex had seen Maggie every day over the past few months. Eighty-two to be exact. Not that Alex had counted. The thought of being away from Maggie for the next six already felt like torture.

Pulling the car out of the driveway, Alex reached for Maggie’s hand, tangling their fingers together. Maggie lifted their hands to her lips, kissing the back of Alex’s before resting them in her lap. The car ride was mostly silent. Maggie watched out the passenger window as they drove, occasionally running her fingers over Alex’s knuckles. Alex was afraid that speaking would burst the peaceful bubble they were in.

Once they arrived at the airport, Alex followed the signs to short-term parking and pulled into a spot in a deserted part of the lot. She and Maggie had decided the night before that it would be safer for them to say their goodbyes in the car. The conversation had reminded Alex how challenging this relationship she was pursuing with Maggie would be. 

Aside from sneaking around Kara and Eliza, Alex and Maggie had been able to freely show their affection for one another. They had spent much of their time on the beach or in the water during the day and in the privacy of Maggie’s room at night. The seclusion had spoiled them, and this first foray out into the public was a harsh reminder of how careful they would have to be when the tour resumed.

As soon as Alex had turned off the car, Maggie released her own seatbelt before reaching over and releasing Alex’s. She pulled Alex into a searing kiss, making the other woman moan as a tongue slipped into her mouth. Finding herself in need of air, Alex pulled away, resting her forehead against Maggie’s.

“Jesus, Maggie,” Alex breathed, eyes still closed.

She could feel Maggie’s dimple form under her palm as the other woman grinned. “Just making sure to leave you with something to miss.”

“Missing you is definitely not going to be a problem,” Alex admitted, eyes opening so she could look into Maggie’s. She was taken aback by the adoration she saw there. It was too soon for that. Wasn’t it? Not that Alex hadn't considered her own feelings for Maggie.

“I know I’ve said it, like, a hundred times by now, but thank you,” Maggie spoke softly, hand slipping to the back of Alex’s neck and scratching at the fine hairs.

Alex bit her lip at the feeling, voice a murmur as she spoke, “And I’ve told you almost as many times that you don’t have to keep thanking me. I just want you to be happy.”

“Well, I am. Very,” Maggie whispered before tilting her head and kissing Alex softly.

Alex tangled her hand in Maggie’s hair and attempted to deepen the kiss, but Maggie leaned back before it could get away from them. She tucked Alex’s hair behind her ear, rubbing her thumb along Alex’s cheek. “I’ll see you in a week.”

“In a week,” Alex repeated softly.

Maggie’s eyes roamed over Alex’s face before she opened the door and stepped out. Turning back, Maggie smirked, “Oh, you might want to move into the guest room for the next week.”

Alex’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “Why?”

“Because I plan to call you on FaceTime, and it might get a little awkward for Kara.” With a wink, Maggie pushed the passenger door shut and opened the back door to retrieve her bag. She leaned down just enough to look into the front seat. “Bye, Alex.”

“Bye,” Alex croaked, brain still processing the images Maggie’s suggestion had created. She watched as Maggie wheeled her bag behind her, unable to hold back her smile when Maggie turned one last time and gave her a small wave. When she could no longer see the other woman, Alex started the car and pulled out of the lot, a heaviness in her heart that was different from anything she’d felt before.

Another group exiting the terminal doors brought Alex back to the present, reminding her she was now standing in a different airport, shifting her weight from foot to foot, waiting for a glimpse of the woman she’d dropped off a week ago and had been aching to see in person again. Looking at the faces in the group, Alex felt a pang of disappointment when she didn’t see Maggie amongst them. 

As she was about to pull out her phone and call Maggie, Alex caught sight of the other woman stepping through the doors, looking down at her own cell phone in her hand. Alex held up the small piece of cardboard with Sawyer scrawled across it and tried not to grin too big as she waited for Maggie to notice her. Eyes still on her phone and only a few feet from Alex, Maggie finally looked up and paused mid-step. A range of emotions crossed her face, but it was the soft eyes and shy smile that had Alex’s heart fluttering.

Alex knew the odds of anyone recognizing them were minimal. She’d worn her beanie and glasses and Maggie was in joggers and a hoodie with her hair gathered in a messy bun. Regardless, Alex was conscious of the fact that they were in public. As much as she wanted to pull the other woman into her arms and kiss her until they were both gasping for breath, Alex settled for a hug. 

A sigh escaped Alex as Maggie’s arms wrapped around her shoulders. She squeezed the other woman as tightly as she dared, a shiver running down her spine at the feeling of Maggie’s lips pressing a quick kiss to her neck. Holding on longer than was probably considered an appropriate amount of time for two friends to hug, Maggie finally stepped back.

“What are you doing here? I thought Lucy was going to send a car to pick me up?”

Alex shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket and shrugged, suddenly nervous. “I convinced Lucy to let me get you. Figured it would be our last chance to spend time together without having to worry about anyone seeing us.”

“Very sneaky of you, Danvers,” Maggie grinned, biting her bottom lip. She reached out and squeezed Alex’s forearm. “Did you tell Lucy? About us?”

“Not exactly,” Alex mumbled, cheeks turning red. “I wasn’t planning to tell her, but she took one look at me and pretty much knew. In her words, ‘my gayness can be seen from space.’.”

“Aww, Alex.” Maggie’s dimpled grin appeared, her eyes shining. “That’s cute.”

Alex scoffed and turned, making her way to the parking lot where she’d left the rental car. She heard Maggie’s laughter behind her. “Alex!”

Slowing her steps so the other woman could catch up, Alex couldn’t keep the smile from her face as Maggie walked alongside her close enough that their shoulders brushed. Alex had again parked in an empty part of the lot. She’d gone a week without touching Maggie, and she wanted to remedy that as soon as they were in the car.

Taking Maggie’s bag from her, Alex lifted it into the trunk but paused before slamming it shut. “I hope it’s okay that Lucy knows.”

Maggie immediately reached for Alex’s hand, squeezing it and looking Alex in the eye. “If you trust Lucy, then so do I.”

Alex nodded as she closed the trunk and walked to the driver’s side. As Maggie slid into her seat, she looked at the empty lot around them. “If I didn’t know any better, I might think you had an ulterior motive for picking me up.”

The moment Maggie turned away from the window, Alex’s hands were on her, pulling her body closer. Their lips brushed as Alex murmured playfully, “What makes you think that?” And then she closed the distance, crashing their lips together.

Alex had felt desire and lust for other women before, but everything she felt for Maggie was magnified. She’d never ached for another person so badly. The attraction pulling her toward Maggie made Alex want to sever all of the ties that held her to Earth so she could fall completely into Maggie’s gravity.

Maggie nipping at her lower lip drew a moan from Alex. She felt the other woman draw back, and Alex attempted to chase her lips, but a hand on her chest held her in place. Alex opened her eyes to see Maggie leaning against the door, hair falling out of its bun and pupils blown wide.

“Fuck, Alex,” Maggie breathed.

The air in the car was charged as the women stared at one another, chests heaving. 

“What time do we have to be at the venue?” Maggie asked as she reached up and pulled out her hair tie letting the rest of her hair fall over her shoulders.

Alex licked her lips, eyes following Maggie’s hand as she ran it through her hair. “I told Lucy we’d be back in an hour or so. Why?”

Before Alex could react, Maggie maneuvered over the center console and dropped into Alex’s lap. Her lips went to Alex’s ear, placing a kiss behind it before whispering “You should probably text her and let her know we hit some pretty bad traffic. We might be a little late.”

Gasping at Maggie’s tongue tracing her ear, Alex dug her phone from her pocket, mentally apologizing to Lucy as she felt the seat recline beneath her. 

They were definitely going to be a little late.

Chapter Text

Getting back to the San Diego arena in one hour turned into three. Alex and Maggie sheepishly stepped out of the rental car as Lucy stared them down. Alex pulled Maggie’s bag from the trunk and handed it over to her. They walked toward their buses, heads down. 

“That had better have been the best traffic you’ve ever experienced,” Lucy called after them.

Laughter burst from Maggie as Alex scuttled toward her and Kara’s bus, embarrassment washing over her.

The next month of the tour felt like a masterclass in sneaking around, and the secrecy turned out to be much less of a turn-on for Alex after almost getting caught by her sister for the umpteenth time. 

Having Lucy in on their secret also kept them on their toes. If Alex thought her friend was good at being a little shit before, Lucy had it down to an art form now.

Alex stood to the side of the stage watching The Renegades perform. The tour had made its way to the Southern states, and Alex and Maggie had snuck away earlier in the day in search of beignets. The women had agreed they couldn’t have a stop in Louisiana and not enjoy some of the fried doughy goodness. Of course, they made sure to bring some back for the rest of the band and crew.

Alex’s eyes followed Maggie’s movements across the stage, singing and swaying. As she turned back in Alex’s direction, Maggie looked directly at her, smiling and throwing her a wink. Alex couldn’t hold back her own grin as she continued to watch.

Lost in thoughts of her girlfriend (she still couldn’t get over the fact that she actually had a girlfriend) Alex was unaware of Lucy standing next to her until she spoke. “You know if you don’t want anyone else to figure out the two of you are together, you might want to bring the eye fucking to a minimum.”

Gasping, Alex turned.

“I mean, I get it,” Lucy shrugged, hands on her hips. “If I wasn’t happily cohabitating with your drummer, you might have some competition.”

“Lucy,” Alex hissed, eyes going wide and looking around to see if anyone else was listening. Thankfully, the rest of the crew was preoccupied with making sure the show was running smoothly.

“I’m just saying, keep your eyes in your pants.”

“What?” Alex asked, watching Lucy’s own eyebrows scrunch as she went over the words she’d just spoken before shaking her head and waving a hand in the air.

“You know what I mean. If you two don’t reel it in a little, everyone’s going to know what’s going on. I can only divert people’s attention so much before they start figuring it out.”

So Alex and Maggie decided to be more strategic.  They planned out their stolen moments and the nights they spent together. They kept their time spent at the side of the stage watching one another perform to once a week. And as much as Alex thought the planning would kill the romance, she found that it actually made her excited and giddy looking forward to when she knew she’d get to see Maggie, to touch Maggie, to kiss Maggie.

Much less secretive about their relationship, Kara and James had finally gotten their act together and started dating. Most of Kara’s free time and evenings were spent on The Renegades’ bus. Alex feigned annoyance at her sister never being around and used Kara’s absence as an explanation for Maggie spending so much time with her. It had practically become routine that Maggie and Kara would swap buses each night before they departed for their next destination. Alex and Maggie took full advantage of having the Better Angels’ bus to themselves.

The morning after their show in Oklahoma City, Alex jerked awake. She quickly scanned the room, unsure what had caused her to wake. Able to feel the bus still moving, Alex assumed traffic noise was the culprit. She gently kissed Maggie’s bare shoulder before rolling away and stretching her arms over her head. 

The tour had a stop back in Nashville, and even though they would only be in the city for less than two full days, Alex was glad to be back in the place she considered home. Looking forward to having the night off, Alex was also eager to see J’onn. He had promised to come to the arena the following day to spend time with her and Kara and to see the show.

Alex’s eyes began to drift closed until she felt movement next to her. She chuckled as an arm wrapped around her waist, a leg draped across her own, and a face pressed into her neck. She slipped her own arm around Maggie’s back, adjusting the sheet that covered them and weaving her fingers into the other woman’s hair to softly scratch at her scalp. “Someone’s awful cuddly this morning.”

“‘m cold.” Maggie snuggled further into Alex.

Alex kissed Maggie’s forehead before reaching for the comforter that had slipped to the end of the bed during the night and pulling it over both of them.  

“Are we back in Nashville yet?” Maggie murmured against Alex’s neck.

“I don’t think so.” Alex reached for her phone to check the time. “If we’re still on schedule, and knowing Lucy, I’m sure that we are, we should be there in a couple of hours.”

“Good.” Maggie shifted until she was draped completely over Alex’s body. Her hands shifted up into Alex’s hair as she leaned down and captured Alex’s lips with her own. 

Alex hummed into the kiss, running her hands along Maggie’s sides to her lower back. 

“I’ve definitely discovered my favorite way to wake up in the morning,” Alex sighed when Maggie pulled away.

Dropping a kiss to the corner of Alex’s mouth, Maggie smirked, “Yeah?”

Alex gasped as Maggie shifted again, her thigh pressing against Alex. “Yeah.”

“Maybe you’d like to wake up in my bed tomorrow?” Maggie asked, pressing a kiss to the underside of Alex’s jaw and slowly rolling her hips. 

Alex pulled her lower lip between her teeth as Maggie’s lips continued to trail along her skin. When Maggie’s words broke through the blissful haze, Alex froze. “What?”

Maggie leaned back, looking at the woman below her. “I just thought you might like to sleep in an actual bed since we’ll be in Nashville. And maybe not have to worry about your sister or anyone else catching us.”

“I’m pretty proud of our sneaking around,” Alex defended, pinching Maggie’s hip. “I think we could have been secret agents in another life.”

Squinting at Alex, Maggie shook her head slightly. “Not sure the black ops scene is for me. But I could definitely see myself as a detective. I love a good mystery.”

“A cop and a fed,” Alex clicked her tongue, “not sure how well that would work.”

“We’d probably just end up arguing over jurisdiction,” Maggie grinned as she leaned down to kiss Alex. Before their lips could meet, Alex flipped their position, pressing Maggie into the mattress.

“Your jurisdiction ends where I say it does,” Alex murmured, brushing her nose along Maggie’s.

Maggie wrapped one arm around Alex’s back as her hand threaded through Alex’s hair, guiding their lips together.

Frantic knocking had Alex reeling back and turning to look at the still-closed door to her room as she pulled the bedsheet to her chest.

“I didn’t think anyone else was on the bus,” Maggie whispered, eyes wide.

Before Alex could respond, more knocking and Kara’s excited voice called through the door. “Alex? Are you awake? Can I come in?”

“Uh, just a second,” Alex called before her eyes frantically began searching the room. Reaching to the floor, she swept up their discarded clothes, pulling on a t-shirt that could have belonged to either of them and shoving the rest into a random compartment. Her eyes landed on Maggie. “You have to hide.” 

“Hide where?” Maggie hissed. “Your room is the size of a shoebox.”

Scrambling, Alex shifted on the bed until she was laying on her back. “Get under the covers.”

Maggie looked at Alex skeptically. “Really, Danvers?”

“Just go!” Alex pleaded, motioning under the blankets as she held them out of the way.

Rolling her eyes, Maggie shifted until she was fully hidden under the covers and pressed as tightly against Alex as possible. Alex made a mess of the blankets in an attempt to further hide Maggie’s outline, going so far as to move a pillow over top where the other woman lay.  

Taking one last look around for anything Kara would notice, Alex said a silent prayer before calling out to her sister. “You can come in.”

As the door opened, Kara's eyes scanned the room and a look of confusion seemed to cross her face before she stepped inside. Alex held her breath as her sister’s eyes seemed to linger on the bedspread where Maggie hid beneath, but Kara looked away and fully pushed the door open. The moment she was in the room, her face lit up and an excited grin spread across her face.

“What’s going on?” Alex asked, willing herself not to glance where Maggie was hiding and grateful her sister didn’t have super hearing as her heart thumped in her chest.

The giddiness and excitement on Kara’s face were palpable as Kara handed over the iPad in her hand. Alex took the device, looking at the screen but unsure what she was supposed to be seeing. Confusion must have been apparent on her face because Kara finally spoke, “CMA Award nominations were announced this morning.”

Alex’s eyes widened as she glanced back up at her sister before looking to the iPad in her hands. How had she completely forgotten about the award nomination announcements? J’onn was optimistic for at least one nomination this year, and Alex and Kara had both put the date on their calendars in their phones. 

The warmth of the body pressed against her under the bedding reminded Alex how very distracted she’d been the last few weeks.

Kara had left the page on the screen scrolled to Vocal Duo of the Year, and Alex couldn’t hold back her gasp when she saw Better Angels listed as one of the nominees. She looked back up to find Kara grinning and bouncing on her toes. 

“We did it!” Kara squealed.

Alex sat dumbfounded for another moment before her own disbelief caused a bubble of laughter to break out. She put a hand over her mouth as tears stung at her eyes, and continued to stare at their name on the iPad screen. They really had done it.

Out of the corner of her eye, Alex saw Kara move to climb onto the bed. Before she could stop herself, Alex threw a hand up and shouted, “No!”

Kara froze, one knee on the bed and one foot still on the floor. Alex froze, brain failing to come up with a reason for her outburst.

“I, uh, I’m naked,” Alex stuttered, clutching the bedding at her waist.

Eyebrows scrunching, Kara looked at her sister. “You’re wearing a t-shirt.”

At a loss for what to say next, Alex went with the truth. “That’s the only thing I’m wearing.”

Kara slowly pulled her knee back from the bed, standing at the end of it. She put her hands on her hips, raising her eyes to the ceiling as though she had x-ray vision and would be able to see her sister’s current state if she looked. “And why aren’t you wearing anything but a t-shirt?”

“I…..got overheated last night?” Alex explained, not entirely untrue.

“Right, okay,” Kara nodded, still keeping her eyes averted. She held a hand out, and Alex realized she was waiting to be given back her iPad. Alex leaned forward carefully, handing off the device.

Tightening the blankets around herself, Alex wracked her brain for a way to make things less awkward. Then it hit her. “How about, once we get to Nashville, we’ll send out for sticky buns from that bakery you love? We can get enough for the whole crew and surprise them. As a way to celebrate.”

Eyes lighting up, Kara finally looked at Alex. “Yes! That’s a great idea. I’ll go call Lucy and have her set it up.”

And then Kara was gone, thankfully pulling the door shut behind her.

Alex flopped back on the bed, letting out a groan. She nearly leaped from the mattress at the feeling of a hand tracing up her leg before remembering the woman hiding next to her. Pulling back the blankets, Alex couldn’t help but giggle at the disarray of Maggie’s hair. Her giggling gave way to laughter as Maggie lunged and landed on top of Alex, peppering her face with kisses.

“Alex, you’re nominated for a CMA Award! That’s amazing!” Maggie gushed, eyes filled with admiration for the woman beneath her. 

“Thank you,” Alex whispered, feeling herself overcome with emotion as the reality of the announcement started to sink in. She chuckled wetly as she wiped at the corner of her eye.

Leaning down, Maggie pressed a soft kiss to Alex’s lips. “I’m so proud of you.”

Alex beamed at the other woman, those words meant more to her than Alex could say. An idea that had formed recently, even before she knew Better Angels were nominated, made its way out of her mouth. “You wanna be my date to the show?”

A smile crossed Maggie’s face at the question, but there was hesitation in her look. “How would that work?”

Disappointment settled in Alex’s chest. She knew it wasn’t possible for Maggie to be her date. Alex shrugged, and tried for humor, “I’ll just carry you in my purse. You’re tiny. I’m sure you’d fit.”

“Hey!” Maggie protested, the sound of her outburst filling the room. 

Alex clamped a hand over her mouth, eyes toward the door. “Don’t forget, we’re not alone on the bus.”

Maggie glared at Alex, pulling her hand away. “Still, can’t believe you went for the short joke.”

Alex moved her hand to Maggie’s cheek, before murmuring, “I really do want you there with me.” She reached up to push a strand of hair behind Maggie’s ear. “Maybe we can figure something out?”

Eyes softening as they traced over Alex’s face, Maggie sighed, “Maybe. But how about for now, you let me take you out tonight to celebrate?”

“What?” Alex asked, mock offense in her voice. "Sugary goodness isn’t enough of a celebration for you?”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Maggie shook her head. “I fully intend to eat my weight in sticky buns.”

Alex laughed, running her hands along Maggie’s back as the other woman smiled down at her. The smile shifted, and Maggie’s tone turned sincere as she traced a fingertip along Alex’s cheek. “I really do want to take you out. We don’t have a show tonight, and there’s a bar in Brentwood. I know the owner. It’s not strictly a gay bar, but she makes sure it’s a safe space for everyone.”

Doubt and fear filling her gut, Alex was prepared to protest until understanding filled Maggie’s eyes.

“Hey,” Maggie whispered, soothing the crinkle that Alex was sure had appeared on her forehead. “I promise we can be cautious. Keep the affection to a minimum. I just really want to take you somewhere and celebrate.”

Alex’s eyes flicked between Maggie’s, finding nothing but sincerity. Not that she expected to find anything else. She trusted Maggie, and she wanted another chance to spend time alone with the other woman away from the tour. Pushing away everything that was telling her to be scared, Alex finally nodded. “Okay.”

A grin lit up Maggie’s face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alex smiled in return. “I want to go out and celebrate with you, too.”

“I promise it’ll be fun,” Maggie murmured before leaning down and kissing at Alex’s jaw and following a path along her jawline. Alex took in a sharp breath at the feeling of Maggie’s lips hovering over her ear. “Then we’ll go back to my place and continue our celebration in private.”

Alex’s toes curled at the images those words conjured in her mind. She buried her hand in Maggie’s hair, guiding the other woman’s lips to her own. She was definitely looking forward to the evening ahead.

****

When the buses pulled into the arena parking lot in Nashville, Lucy led everyone inside to where a room had been set up and filled with sticky buns as well as an assortment of other sweet treats from the bakery. J’onn surprised the group, making an appearance and announcing Better Angels’ nomination to everyone. Alex blushed at the applause that filled the room, but her chest filled with pride, especially when her eyes landed on Maggie who had slipped into the back of the room after getting cleaned up on her own bus. Admiration once again filled Maggie’s face, and she whooped as she clapped loudly with the rest of the crowd.

The l-word was still too precarious, but Alex could already sense a warm feeling of hope nestling in her chest. 

As the applause died off and everyone made their way to the table of sugary sweets, Alex felt a hand on her arm. She turned to find Lucy standing next to her.

“Congrats, Alex. You and Kara deserve that nomination,” Lucy stated, wiping at her eyes.

Alex cocked her head. “Lucy Lane, are you crying?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lucy sniffed, hands on her hips, trying to look tough despite the wetness that remained on her lashes.

“Aw, Lucy. It’s really heartwarming to know there’s a gooey center underneath all of that bravado,” Alex cooed, opening her arms for a hug.

Lucy put a palm to Alex’s face. “Fuck off, Danvers. I have work to do.”

And then Lucy turned and walked away.

“Love you, too, Luce,” Alex called after the other woman.

Once everyone had eaten their fill of the treats, the crew headed back out for the load-in and set-up. 

Expecting to have to create an excuse for not going home or hanging out with Kara, Alex was surprised when her sister gave her a quick hug before saying she’d see her tomorrow and leaving with James. The beginnings of a shovel talk formed in Alex’s mind as she caught Kara slipping her hand in James’ before they stepped out of the room.

Alex was happy for her sister. Kara’s last break-up had been pretty rough. She’d been dating, Mike, an up-and-coming musician, showing him the ropes of the industry. Kara had been absolutely smitten with him. Alex, however, didn’t trust him. Her gut had been right when it turned out he’d only been using Kara for her star power and connections before leaving her for his previous girlfriend. It had taken all of Alex’s willpower and Kara’s pleading not to use her own connections to destroy his chances at a career. Instead, she had been there for her sister, holding her while she cried and keeping the freezer stocked with ice cream. Alex still couldn’t look at rocky road without feeling sick to her stomach. She’d lost count of how many pints they’d gone through in the matter of a week. 

“You ready to get out of here, Danvers?” Maggie’s voice next to her pulled Alex from her thoughts.

She ached to take Maggie’s hand the same way she’d seen her sister take James’. Instead, she settled for an excited smile. “Very.”

The women climbed into the car waiting for them, having decided they would be dropped off at their respective homes to get ready. Alex was already looking forward to her much larger shower. As she gazed out the window and considered whether she had enough time for a soak in the tub, Alex felt a finger run along the side of her hand where it rested on the seat. She glanced at Maggie to find the other woman smiling softly at her. Alex smiled back, biting her lower lip as Maggie’s pinkie wrapped around her own. Glancing at their hands, Alex closed her eyes as she turned back toward the window, enjoying the feeling of Maggie’s hand pressed against hers.

They pulled up to Maggie’s apartment building first. Maggie slid out of the backseat before leaning down to look at Alex. “I’ll meet you at your house at 8?”

Alex shook her head. “I can get a car and come pick you up.”

“No way, Danvers,” Maggie objected. “I’m taking you out to celebrate, so I’ll be the one arranging how we get there.”

Maggie stepped away and just as the door was about to slam shut, she caught it and leaned down once more. “Oh, and make sure you wear long pants and boots.”

And then with a wink, Maggie was gone, and Alex was alone in the back of the car left with nothing but confusion at Maggie’s odd request.

A few hours later found Alex in front of her full-length mirror, looking herself over. Per Maggie’s suggestion, she had on black skinny jeans and black boots. She’d also decided on a burgundy short-sleeved shirt and her favorite black leather jacket. 

Alex had considered wearing her beanie, it being her go-to when she wanted to hide in public. But she didn’t want to hide from Maggie. Finally starting to feel like herself around the other woman, Alex had instead opted for her glasses. Yes, they had been part of her disguise for years now, but they also felt like her. Plus, Maggie had said they were cute.

Running a hand through her slightly curled hair, Alex nodded at her reflection as the sound of the doorbell echoed through the house. Alex grabbed her wallet from her nightstand tucking it in the inside pocket of her jacket as she made her way to the front door.

Alex peeked through the peephole finding Maggie’s smiling face looking back. Trying to hold back her own ridiculous grin, Alex opened the door and felt herself freeze as she took in the woman on the other side. Eyes running over Maggie from head to toe, she took in the motorcycle boots, the skin-tight jeans, the white button-down under a black leather jacket. Maggie’s hair flowed in waves over her shoulders, and some absurd part of Alex’s mind wondered if she had ever considered signing a deal with a shampoo company. 

“You clean up nice,” Maggie smirked.

Realizing she’d been staring, Alex stuttered, waving a hand at Maggie, “You do too, with the boots and hair and all the….”

Trailing off, Alex’s mind went completely, hopelessly blank. I am so gay.

Before she could get her thoughts back on track and form a coherent sentence, Alex was being pushed inside. In the next instant, the door slammed shut, and Alex’s back was against it as Maggie’s hands threaded into her hair and their lips crashed together. Alex gripped the sides of Maggie’s jacket, tugging the woman closer at the feeling of Maggie’s tongue tracing along her lower lip. A moan escaped Alex as the kiss deepened, and Maggie’s tongue brushed against her own. 

Just as Alex was starting to wonder if they would be making it to the bar after all, Maggie reluctantly pulled back. Alex sagged against the door, eyes half-closed and knees weak while Maggie took in deep breaths as she straightened her jacket. 

“Sorry,” Maggie breathed, the grin on her face anything but apologetic. “Wanted to get that in before I have to keep my hands to myself for a while.”

“No need to apologize,” Alex chuckled, running a hand through her hair. “But if we don’t leave right now, there’s a pretty good chance I’m going to throw you over my shoulder and take you to my bedroom.”

Maggie let out a full belly laugh, and Alex smiled at the reaction. Reaching for Alex’s hand and pulling her away from the door so she could open it, Maggie ushered her out, “Guess we better get out of here before you go Neanderthal on me then, Danvers.”

Alex followed as Maggie led her to the driveway. She stopped when she saw what was parked there, suddenly understanding Maggie’s request for jeans and boots. “You have a motorcycle?”

“I do,” Maggie answered, running her hand over the seat. “Got rid of the junker I bought when I decided to move out here and saved every penny that I didn’t need for rent or food to buy it. It’s probably the only thing I’ve ever really splurged on for myself.”

“It’s hot,” Alex blurted, eyes widening when she realized she had spoken the words out loud.

Maggie winked, “Well, I didn’t get it just to impress the ladies, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.”

Turning to unstrap the extra helmet, Maggie handed it to Alex before putting on her own. Maggie straddled the seat, flipping up the kickstand and holding the bike steady as Alex climbed on behind her.

“Make sure you hold on tight,” Maggie called back.

Alex wrapped her arms around Maggie’s waist as the bike came to life. Her grip tightened as they pulled out of the driveway and headed in the direction of the bar. 

Much to Alex’s disappointment, the ride was short. The feeling of being pressed against Maggie, moving her body with the other woman’s as the bike roared through the streets; Alex wanted to do a lot more of that. Maybe once the tour was over, they could take a few days and go for a trip. Alex jolted as she realized she was making future plans for herself and Maggie. 

Once the bike was parked, Maggie led Alex to a door that didn’t seem to stand out among the many others in the surrounding buildings. Maggie knocked on the door twice, and a slot opened revealing a pair of eyes.

“Dollywood,” Maggie said, and then the slot closed and the door was opened.

At Alex’s look of confusion, Maggie smiled softly. “I told you this was a safe space. They take a few precautions to make sure of that.”

Nodding, Alex followed Maggie into the bar. They found a table in a back corner, opting for as much anonymity as they could. Once they’d ordered drinks, Alex couldn’t help but glance around, taking in the space and the people surrounding them. Without really thinking about it, Alex turned her body, putting her back to as much of the bar as possible.

Of course, Maggie noticed. She reached across the table, tapping on the back of Alex’s hand. “Hey. We really don’t have to be here if you don’t want to be.”

Taking a breath, Alex shook her head, readjusting herself and glancing around again. “No, sorry. It’s just a habit, I guess.”

“Well, this is generally a place where others go to not be noticed, so you really don’t have anything to worry about.” Maggie gave her a reassuring smile, and Alex couldn’t help but give one in return.

Their drinks were delivered, and Alex took a long pull, willing herself to relax and enjoy this time with Maggie. Having noticed a pool table when they’d walked in, Alex nudged Maggie’s foot under the table. “You play pool?”

“I’ve been known to break a rack or two,” Maggie shrugged. Raising her eyebrows she asked, “Wanna make it interesting?”

Alex tilted her head at the question before asking her own, “Interesting how?”

Maggie tapped her lips, as though considering before speaking, “How about the loser has to get up and fetch donuts in the morning?”

“I’m definitely going to make note of this sweet tooth of yours,” Alex chuckled before holding her hand out. “Deal.”

Maggie grinned as they shook, and then slipped out of her seat and headed for the pool table. Seven games later, Alex could see the regret of making the bet start to darken Maggie’s face as she watched Alex sink the eight ball again.

“Damn, Danvers,” Maggie sighed, “Did I miss the memo where it turns out you're a pool shark?”

Alex bit her lip, holding in her laughter. They’d been playing for almost three hours, and Alex had lost count of how many beers they’d each drank. The more they consumed, the lower their inhibitions became. Hands brushing across backs and shoulders, stepping into one another’s personal space, and longing looks became more frequent as the night went on. 

Alex tried not to look guilty as she turned to the other woman. “My parents had a pool table when I was growing up. I learned how to play when I was, like, nine.”

Maggie’s jaw dropped, a look of betrayal crossing her face. “I can’t believe I’ve been hoodwinked.”

“Hoodwinked? Really?” Alex giggled.

“Yes, hoodwinked,” Maggie repeated, stepping closer to Alex before quietly adding, “And by my girlfriend no less.”

A thrill ran through Alex at Maggie’s words. They didn’t use the term often, especially in public, but now all Alex wanted was for Maggie to say it over and over again. They stared at one another, and Alex watched Maggie’s eyes drift to her lips. Maggie took a step closer, and Alex tensed, expecting a kiss that never came. 

Instead, Maggie’s voice was low as she purred, “It’s taking a lot of control not to lay you out on this table and give the other people in here a very scandalous show. Might be a good idea to get out of here.”

“Yeah, okay,” Alex squeaked, stepping back and putting her pool cue on the wall rack. They pulled on their jackets, and Maggie called an Uber, assuring Alex that her bike would be safe at the bar for the night. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to leave it behind, and the owner always made sure it remained unharmed.

Deciding to wait outside for their ride, the women leaned against the side of the building, shoulder to shoulder. Feeling the alcohol beginning to hit her, Alex leaned into Maggie, wrapping an arm around her waist. At the sound of a hum from the other woman, Alex turned and placed a kiss against the side of Maggie’s head before turning back and sagging against the wall.

Ten minutes later, the Uber pulled up, and they piled into the backseat. Alex didn’t hesitate to thread her fingers with Maggie’s, resting their hands on the seat between them. Happy, warm, and comfortably buzzed, Alex let her head rest against the window of the car as it drove them to Maggie’s apartment.

Chapter Text

Slowly drifting toward consciousness, Alex felt lips press gently against her forehead before moving to her cheek and then her nose. Blinking her eyes open, Alex was greeted with a soft smile from Maggie who was sitting next to her on the edge of the bed. Maggie brushed hair from Alex’s face and leaned forward, kissing her gently. 

“Good morning, beautiful,” Maggie murmured, rubbing her thumb across Alex’s cheek.

“Good morning,” Alex returned, laying a hand on Maggie’s leg. It was then that she fully took in Maggie’s appearance, and her eyebrows scrunched. “Why are you dressed?”

“Well, if you’ll recall we made a bet, and then you hustled me at the pool table,” Maggie answered. “I was out picking up your ill-begotten victory donuts.”

Smiling innocently, Alex ran her hand along Maggie’s leg. “To the victor go the spoils.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Maggie grumbled, playfully. “After last night, I thought it might be best to feed you sooner rather than later.”

Alex hummed, “We did engage in some fairly strenuous activity.”

Laughter bubbled from Maggie’s chest, “I was referring to the amount of alcohol we drank, but that too I suppose.”

A smile settled onto Alex’s face as she sat up and cupped Maggie’s cheek, drawing the other woman into a kiss. Pulling back, Alex rested her forehead against Maggie’s and closed her eyes.

“Food does sound pretty good, but I kinda want to take a shower first.”

“Of course,” Maggie sat back, nodding and running her hand along Alex’s arm. “Food can wait.”

A playful smirk crossed Alex’s face as she tilted her head, pressing a kiss to Maggie’s jaw and slipping her hand under Maggie’s shirt, “In that case, care to join me?”

Maggie gripped Alex’s arm tight as her breath hitched, “I think that could definitely be arranged.”

Alex slid from the bed, pulling Maggie with her and into the bathroom. By the time they finally emerged from the shower, the water may have turned cold and their skin pruney, but the donuts Maggie had bought at the bakery were well worth the appetite each of them had worked up in their lost time.

****

The Renegades and Better Angels performed for a sold-out crowd in Nashville. True to his word, J’onn had come to the arena and spent the entire show at the side of the stage cheering and applauding.  Alex and Kara stuck close to him through the opener, having missed their dadager.

After The Renegades’ performance, he stopped Maggie, James, and Winn, to congratulate them on an excellent set and requested they set up a meeting once the tour was over to talk about representation. Alex caught Maggie’s eye over J’onn’s shoulder and beamed at the other woman.

When Alex took the stage that night, she was lighter than she’d felt in a long time. Kara was at Alex’s side on stage, and every time she glanced over, she saw Maggie and J’onn grinning broadly as she performed. Surrounded and supported by her favorite people had Alex’s heart ready to burst. She was convinced it was the best performance Better Angels had ever played. 

J’onn stayed to visit after the concert ended and everyone gathered together in the lot where the buses were parked, talking and laughing. Tasked with keeping everything on schedule, Lucy regretfully announced it was time to load up the buses and head to their next stop. Alex and Kara hugged J’onn tightly, thanking him for his guidance. And then the buses were loaded, pulling out onto the road and toward their next show.

The tour had them heading back to the Carolinas before going north to New York City.

New York had quickly become one of Alex’s favorite tour stops. When she learned that Maggie had never been, Alex made it her mission to show the other woman as much of the city as she could on their off-day. 

They took in the view of the city from the top of the Empire State Building. They strolled through Central Park, taking a spin on the carousel. They walked along 5th Avenue, and Alex couldn’t help but laugh at Maggie’s reaction to the price tags in most of the shops.

Alex’s only regret was that they didn’t have time to see a Broadway musical, both of them needing to get back to the arena for soundcheck. She promised Maggie that they would come back after the tour was over and see as many shows as they could. Making future plans didn’t faze either of the women, and Alex relished the thought of a future with Maggie.

The following day was filled with routine pre-show prep. Everything moved flawlessly at this point in the tour. The crew was in sync, everyone hitting their marks. It was like a choreographed dance.

Alex was still floating on her high from the Nashville show, Better Angels’ nomination, and getting to spend time with J’onn. Her high also made her reckless, dragging Maggie to a supply closet she had discovered for a heavy make-out session. Maggie didn’t put up much of a fight.

The good mood carried over into the pre-show dinner for the crew. Everyone gathered in a room set up with catering and scattered to various tables. Alex sat next to Lucy,  Maggie on her other side. Inching her chair as close to Maggie as she felt was reasonable, Alex pressed her leg against the other woman’s under the table. She chose to ignore Lucy’s knowing smirk. Kara, James, and Winn sat on the side of the table, debating the best choice of character in Mario Kart.

The meal was spent eating, chatting, and laughing. James regaled the group with stories about his short time as a bouncer for a bar in Nashville. His anecdotes led to everyone sharing their own encounters with other country singers which led to Winn pulling out his phone and pulling up a gossip site and the outrageous rumors that filled its headlines.

Eventually, the conversation moved to other topics, as Winn continued to scroll the site. The group had moved on to talking about upcoming tour stops when Winn interrupted.

“Oh, hey, there’s something about you and Alex on here.” 

Alex’s head whipped up, eyes focused on Winn as he continued to look at his phone. 

“What is it?” Maggie asked.

“Did you two go out while we were in Nashville?” Winn’s eyebrows scrunched as he scrolled along his phone screen. His finger froze and his eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Oh, what?” Kara asked as she leaned over to look at the phone in Winn’s hand. Alex watched as Kara’s curiosity turned to confusion. And then her eyes were drifting up, looking between Alex and Maggie.

Alex’s mind went back to that night. Going over every action and reaction. She thought they’d been safe, thought they’d been careful not to draw attention to themselves or do anything that might look like more than a couple of friends hanging out and playing pool. Apparently, she was wrong.

“What is it?” Maggie repeated, keeping her tone even.

Kara and Winn were quiet as Winn slowly pushed the phone across the table to Maggie. She reached for the device, pulling it closer and turning it around. Alex didn’t want to look at it, didn’t want to know what was on the screen, but the quiet “Shit” she heard fall from Maggie’s lips had her glancing at the screen as Maggie handed the phone to Lucy. And immediately regretting the action when she saw what had grabbed everyone's attention.

A picture, from outside the bar in Nashville. Alex’s hand was around Maggie’s waist and she was leaning into the other woman, pressing a kiss to her head, Maggie’s eyes closed in what seemed to be a blissful expression. Below the picture was a caption in large text, all caps “Alex Danvers More Than Friends With Tourmate?”

Alex couldn’t pull her eyes away from the phone. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears. She couldn’t breathe. She could hear someone talking, but Alex was unable to process their words. All she wanted to do in that moment was run and never look back.   

Unaware of her own movements until she realized she was in the hallway and headed for the exit where the buses were parked, Alex willed herself not to cry. She willed her feelings back into the tiny, itty bitty boxes she had broken down since speaking her truth to Maggie. The show was less than two hours away, and Alex needed to stay focused. Needed to keep it together.

Stepping onto her bus, Alex went directly to her room, shutting the door and sitting on the edge of the bed. 

She had been so stupid. She had let her guard down. She had let herself get so wrapped up in her feelings for Maggie that she had made a mistake. A mistake that could cost her everything. Alex started formulating a solution, who she would need to call, and what she would need to say to make this all go away.   

Alex was faintly aware of a knock on her door. She wanted to tell whoever was on the other side that she didn’t want to talk to anyone. She wanted to scream. She wanted to rage. Alex wanted to yell at the world and ask why she didn’t deserve to be happy.

 Suddenly, Maggie was kneeling in front of Alex.

“Hey, Alex, look at me,” Maggie urged softly.

Alex’s eyes slowly lowered from the wall where she’d been staring to a pair of brown eyes looking at her with worry.

“Are you okay?” Maggie asked.

“I don’t know,” Alex answered. “I’m worried my career is about to come crashing down, and I don’t know how to stop it.”

“Hey,” Maggie moved to sit on the bed next to Alex, taking hold of her hand. “We’ll figure this out. Together.”

Alex pulled her hand away from Maggie, “I’m pretty sure it was the part about being together that led to this.”

A look of hurt flashed on Maggie’s face. “It was one innocent picture, Alex. And I don’t know about you, but these last few weeks have been amazing being with you.”

The words caused a feeling of exhilaration to fill Alex’s chest, but it was quickly stamped out by the fear flowing through her whole body.

At Alex’s silence, Maggie continued, “I know how difficult it’s been for you over the years.”

“I was fine before you came along,” Alex interrupted, trying to keep her voice level.

Maggie scoffed, “You were never fine, Alex. You’ve been hiding who you are for years. Maybe this is your chance to live your truth and be yourself.”

“Because that’s worked out so well for you?” Alex couldn’t keep the indignation out of her voice, and she barely registered the pain on Maggie’s face at her words. She knew she needed to stop talking. Knew that she was going to say things she would deeply regret. But she was backed in a corner, and Alex felt like her only way out was to fight back.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Lucy’s voice broke through the tension. “Everyone just needs to take a beat and step back before one of you says something you’ll regret.”

“Might be a little late for that,” Maggie murmured, eyes filled with hurt.

Lucy looked back and forth between the two women before stepping up to Maggie and placing her hands on her forearms. Alex watched as Lucy spoke quietly, Maggie nodding along to what she was saying. And then Maggie was leaving. Alex’s gut twisted at the sight of Maggie walking out the door. She wanted to follow, wanted to stop her, but Alex’s own self-preservation was winning out at that moment.

Once Maggie was gone, Lucy turned to Alex.

“Are you okay?”

Alex could only laugh in response. How was she supposed to answer that question? Her life was imploding, so no, she wasn’t okay.

Lucy placed her hands on her hips and took a breath, letting it out slowly. “I already called J’onn to get him up to speed. We’re going to do a video call after the show and figure out what we need to do to get ahead of this. But, Alex, I promise, we will handle it. So there’s no need to go and do something stupid that you’re going to regret.”

Alex turned her back to Lucy, knowing she’d already done something stupid, done something she was regretting. But she didn’t have a choice. 

“I need to get ready for the show,” she said instead.

Lucy was silent before finally speaking again, “Alright, well, if you need something, you know where to find me.”

And then Lucy was gone, and Alex was alone.

****

The show that night was the hardest one Alex had ever forced herself to get through. She knew she was on autopilot, trying to make it to the end without stumbling. She sang when she was supposed to, spoke when she was supposed to, but her heart wasn’t in it. 

Alex could feel Kara’s worried glances throughout the show. And when they finally stepped off stage, Kara tried to pull Alex aside, tried to check in with her sister, but Alex insisted she was fine. She told Kara she didn’t want to talk and then locked herself in her bedroom on the bus.

Finished changing into something more comfortable for the evening, Alex heard a faint knock on her door.

“Go away, Kara,” Alex called out, not in the mood for her sisterly heart-to-hearts.

The knocking continued, undeterred. Alex trudged to the door, whipping it open, ready to give Kara a piece of her mind. But Kara wasn’t standing on the other side. It was Maggie.

Alex froze, exhilaration and dread at war with each other in her gut. Before Alex could speak, Maggie was walking into the room that had been their safe haven from the outside world.

“We need to talk,” Maggie stated, arms crossed over her chest as she turned toward Alex. Her eyes were guarded, but there was also a look of concern. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine, Maggie,” Alex muttered, crossing her own arms and looking at the floor.

“Bullshit,” Maggie growled.

“What do you want from me, Maggie?” Alex exploded. “To tell you that I’m terrified, that all I can think about right now is how stupid I've been?”

Maggie stepped back, a stunned expression on her face.

Alex closed her eyes, taking a breath and running a hand through her hair.

“This was a mistake,” she whispered.

“What?” Maggie gasped, hurt evident in her voice.

“I knew this was gonna happen. I knew it.” Alex threw her hands in the air. “I was happy for, like, five minutes.”

“Alex,” Maggie pleaded, reaching out toward her.

Alex took a step back, hands up, struggling to regain control of her emotions. “I’m sorry. This was a mistake. I’m sorry. You have to go. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

Chancing a glance at the other woman, Alex faltered at the devastation she saw on her face. But then Maggie’s features hardened, and despite the tears forming in her eyes, she straightened her posture, arms crossed tightly.

“Okay. Got it,” Maggie pushed past Alex. “See you around, Danvers.”

And then Maggie was gone.

The moment she heard the door close, Alex’s resolve broke. A sob escaped as she slid to the floor, burying her head in her hands and releasing all of the pent-up emotion she’d been holding in for the last several hours.   

****

They had finally made it to the final stops of the tour. Alex usually had bittersweet feelings toward the end, knowing that she would miss everyone. But this time, the tour couldn’t be over soon enough. She was ready to get away, to go home.

Their second to last stop was in Chicago. Usually one of Alex’s favorite places to visit, she had barely ventured outside of her bus other than to do soundcheck and perform. She had been able to get herself into the right headspace to continue to put on the best possible shows with Kara during this last leg of the tour, but the moment they were done, she was back on her bus until she was needed again.

Alex had taken every measure possible to avoid seeing Maggie. She hated it, and her heart ached for the other woman, but Alex knew that interactions, no matter how small, would only make everything that much harder when it all came to an end. Their run-ins had thankfully been rare, but each one was painful. Maggie always looked like there was something more she wanted to say, though she never did. And Alex wanted everything to go back to the way it was, to be okay again. But this was how things needed to be, so the women were cordial when they crossed paths, but otherwise, they kept their distance.

Kara had tried to talk to Alex, tried to get Alex to open up. Even though it was obvious she could see something had happened, that things were different and tense. Though most of Alex’s time was now spent in her bedroom on the tour bus, she started to realize that Kara and James were spending more and more time on the bus with her. They never ventured into her space, but they were a presence.

The night of the Chicago performance, Alex had gotten a note that she was needed in her dressing room early for some minor alterations. Once that was taken care of, she headed back to her bus until it was time to start getting ready. She and Kara had completed their soundcheck earlier in the day, but The Renegades always did theirs closer to showtime. Alex could hear music coming from the stage as she walked by. She tried to pick up her pace, not wanting to take the chance of seeing Maggie.

Alex had almost made it beyond the backstage area when she heard her name. She stuttered to a stop and turned to find Lucy standing to the side of the stage. Lucy motioned her over, and as much as Alex wanted to stay away, her curiosity got the better of her.

Stepping next to her friend, Alex felt Lucy hook her arm around Alex’s elbow and turn her toward the stage. Suddenly, Alex had a direct line of sight to Maggie. Alex tried to pull away, wanting to get away before Maggie could look over and see her.

“Alex,” Lucy’s voice was stern, but not unkind. “Just wait a second. I want you to hear something they’ve been working on.”

Alex finally stopped resisting. She watched as Maggie, guitar in her arms, stepped up to the microphone. The opening chords to the song were unfamiliar to Alex, and Maggie strummed a few before her voice filled the empty arena. 

“Bartender hit me, I need a drink
No none of that good stuff ‘cause I’d hate to think
That that dusty old bottle on the counter aged finer than we did

I might not look familiar, I don’t frequent this place
I’m usually good at dealing with things
But all my old tricks that I’m used to ain’t workin’ the same

So right now I’ll try anything”

Alex was frozen in place as the words of the song washed over her. Her eyes glazed over as she listened to James and Winn join in with their instruments, and Maggie moved into the chorus of the song.

“Sometimes I feel stronger than I am
Sometimes I can handle my own
Sometimes my day goes just like I planned
Sometimes I forget that you’re gone
Sometimes I pick myself up and I shake the dust off
But tonight I don’t feel like I can
That’s why I’m sitting here sippin’
On something that’s stronger than I am”

Maggie’s voice was as clear and alluring as usual, but the sadness that it was bathed in was breaking Alex’s heart. And then Alex realized. She was the reason. And Maggie was singing about her. 

Alex couldn’t watch anymore, couldn’t listen to any more of the words that were written because of what she’d done. She pulled her arm from Lucy’s grasp and all but ran from the building, leaving behind the mess she'd created.

Chapter Text

The moment the tour was over, Alex felt like she could breathe a little easier. Her heart still ached, and she didn’t expect that to get better anytime soon. But not having to see Maggie every day, not being surrounded by people who it felt like were constantly watching Alex’s every move made it a little easier to deal with.

Lucy had been true to her word, and she and J’onn had released a statement about Alex and Maggie having become close during the tour, that they were just good friends. Without any more photos or incidents to report on, the rumor faded, and people moved on to the next story that grabbed their attention.

Alex threw herself into preparing for the CMA Awards. She and Kara had been asked to perform following their nomination, and they had eagerly agreed. Better Angels had appeared on a few of the late-night and daytime talk shows as their career took off, but this would be their first performance on a major awards show.

The song choice had been simple. Everything that followed was tedious. Choosing clothes, getting fitted, staging the performance, choosing clothes for the performance, and having those fitted. The distraction was what Alex needed but readjusting to life off the road proved to be hard on her body. By their second week back home, Alex came down with a cold, much to her own annoyance.

Kara tried to get Alex to stay home and rest, which lasted all of one day before Alex was loading up on Vitamin C, filling a travel mug full of chamomile tea, and insisting that they needed to get to their fitting. Kara finally threw her hands up in defeat and followed her sister to the hired car waiting for them.

Leaning her head against the window, Alex assured Kara she was only resting her eyes. Internally, Alex was miserable. She was starting to regret not taking another day to let her body rest, but she’d be damned if she let Kara know that.  Alex further bemoaned her decision when Kara was shaking her awake once they’d arrived at the boutique for their fitting.

Gathering all of the energy she could muster, Alex slid out of the car and followed Kara inside. They were quickly ushered into a room with racks of options to choose from. While Kara made a beeline for an assortment of pastel-colored gowns, Alex let her eyes wander over the array of choices, an idea prickling at the back of her mind. 

Pre-tour Alex would have let the pressure of conforming drive her choices, opting for a dress that screamed femininity. Post-tour Alex, however, was much less cooperative. She wanted something different and much more herself. And despite everything that had happened, she wasn’t willing to go back to the days of peasant tops and floral rompers. So when Alex spied a cashmere jacket sleeve amongst the yards of satin and chiffon, she seized it.

Pushing dresses aside, Alex’s heart sped up at the sight before her. A dark blue suit with black lapels and a matching black corset. The cut was feminine, but the style was far outside anything Alex had ever worn before. She’d definitely never donned something so sexy. A fleeting thought of how Maggie would react seeing her in the suit crossed Alex’s mind. She quickly shoved the thought into a box and snapped the lid closed.

Reaching for the suit, Alex’s fingers ran over the smooth material. 

Kara’s voice came from behind. “A suit?”

Alex’s body tensed, “Yeah, why?”

“I just, that doesn’t really seem like you,” Kara quietly replied.

Frustration roared from Alex’s chest. Everything she’d been shoving back into those little boxes since the picture and breaking things off with Maggie started bubbling to the surface. This time, though, the feelings didn’t leave Alex weary. They left her frayed. She was done. 

Shoving the suit back on the rack, Alex turned on her sister. She knew her annoyance wasn’t Kara’s fault. She knew Kara didn’t deserve her anger. But Kara was the unfortunate person currently caught in her crosshairs. “Yeah, well, maybe no one actually knows the real me.”

Before Kara could respond, Alex was walking out of the room and out the door. The car from earlier was still waiting, and Alex didn’t hesitate to get in and give the driver an address. Kara could find her own way home. Alex needed to be alone. 

As she sank into the backseat, Alex was once again reminded of the pressure behind her eyes. Groaning quietly, she slumped in her seat and rubbed small, firm circles into her temples while her anger and frustration whirled in her chest. 

As the car pulled up in front of a run-down-looking diner, the driver gave Alex a concerned look in the rearview mirror. “Are you sure this is the correct address, ma’am?”

“Yep,” Alex replied as she opened the door and stepped out.

The diner didn’t look like much, but it had become a refuge for Alex. She and Kara had discovered it after they’d moved back to Nashville. They had spent hours sitting in the booths, making plans and writing songs. The waitresses didn’t seem to mind, and if they recognized the sisters at any point over the years, they didn’t let on.

“What’ll it be, Hon?” one of the waitresses, an older woman named Lynda per her name tag, asked after Alex slid into a booth toward the back.

“Some coffee?” Alex requested before a coughing fit took over, and she grimaced, rubbing at her throat. “Actually, make that a tea. And do you have any soup?”

The waitress’s eyes softened as she looked Alex over. “Sure do, Hon. I’ll get those right out to you.”

“Thanks,” Alex murmured. 

As the waitress walked away, Alex propped her elbows on the table and rested her head in her hands. Now that the adrenaline from her anger was wearing off, the full force of her illness hit her. Alex realized her head was throbbing, and her stomach churned uncomfortably. She really should have stayed home.

“Here, Hon,” Lynda said softly as she slid a mug of hot water, a teabag already submerged within, in front of Alex. “I added a little honey to it for you.”

Alex gave her a grateful smile, nodding her head in response as she wrapped her hands around the warm mug. She let her eyes slip closed as the waitress walked away to take care of another customer. Already feeling regret for snapping at Kara, Alex let her mind replay over the past few months, over everything she’d felt, everything she’d experienced. 

Alex started taking inventory of everything she’d shoved in those damned boxes. All of the urges, all of the emotions, all of the fears and doubts. As she sorted through all of it and weighed each one, a singular realization rose above all the rest. 

She missed Maggie.

Missed her smile. Missed her laugh. Missed her support. Alex missed everything about the other woman. 

But she’d fucked it all up. And how could she expect Maggie to ever forgive her? And even if she did, what did Alex expect to happen next? She still had Better Angels to think about. 

The look of disappointment she always imagined on Kara’s face flitted through Alex’s mind once again. But now it shared space with her memories of Maggie. 

Both visions disappeared as a bowl of chicken noodle soup was set in front of Alex. She decided to give her brain a break as she turned her attention to the warm, soothing meal in front of her.

By the time Alex left the diner, the sun was starting to dip toward the horizon. She’d sent the car and driver away as soon as she’d arrived, and now she was regretting that decision. Pulling out her phone, Alex called an Uber, and as she waited, she ordered a piece of chocolate pecan pie as a peace offering for Kara.

Walking in the front door of their house, Alex shouldn’t have been surprised to find Kara sitting on the couch, waiting. The sisters stared at one another, neither making the first move until, finally, Kara stood, motioning for Alex to follow her to the kitchen. Alex clung to the to-go bag in her hand, unsure what to expect would happen next.

Alex stepped up to the edge of the island, setting the bag on the countertop and watching Kara go to the freezer. Her sister pulled out a pint of ice cream (chocolate chip cookie dough, Alex’s favorite) and set it on the island between them. Holding a spoon out to Alex, Kara spoke, “What’s wrong?” 

Every bit of composure Alex had been clinging to since she’d ended things with Maggie crumbled. Tears slid down her cheeks as a sob broke free. Kara was around the island in an instant, pulling Alex into her arms. 

Soothing her sister, Kara moved them to the couch once Alex’s tears slowed. They sat facing one another, and Kara took hold of Alex’s hand, pulling it into her lap. Alex dropped her eyes, mind racing over every possible starting point to the conversation but knowing what needed to come first.

Kara reached out and cupped Alex’s cheek, drawing her eyes up. “Hey, talk to me. Please.”

The worry in Kara’s eyes pushed Alex to finally speak as a few more tears slipped down her cheeks. 

“I’m gay.”

She watched Kara’s face for any sign of shock. Instead, she was met with confusion.

“And?” Kara urged.

Alex’s own confusion interrupted her fear. “And what?”

“I-“ Kara cut herself off, shaking her head and wiping at the tears that were still falling on her sister’s face. “Thank you for telling me.”

Still perplexed, Alex pulled back from Kara. “You don’t seem surprised.”

Kara tilted her head to the side, looking at Alex before speaking. “I think I’ve known for a while now. But I’m proud of you.”

Alex’s shoulders slumped as all of the fear she’d carried about coming out to her sister evaporated. Before Alex could reply, Kara was speaking again.

“Does this have anything to do with your falling out with Maggie?”

Eyes snapping to Kara, Alex asked, “What are you talking about?”

She watched her sister’s ears turn pink as Kara averted her gaze. “You two spent a lot of time together. Alone. In your room. And, uh, I may not have super hearing, but I’m also not deaf.”

“Shit,” Alex breathed, bringing her hand to her forehead. “Who else knows?”

Scratching at her eyebrow, Kara hesitated before answering, “James figured it out before I did. And Winn had suspicions, but we distracted him with video games.”

Alex didn’t speak, letting her mind catch up to the fact that she and Maggie weren’t as stealthy as they had thought.

“What happened with Maggie?” Kara asked softly. “You two seemed really happy together, and then suddenly you weren’t even speaking.”

“I had to break it off with her,” Alex murmured. “That picture Winn found. Nobody could know about us. About me.”

“Why not?” Kara questioned.

“Because I didn't want to drag you into it, didn't want to risk our career,” Alex stated. “We’ve seen what happens to outed country artists, even when it’s their choice. Their careers in this industry can’t withstand the backlash.”

“So, we’ll become pop singers,” Kara shrugged, as though it were an obvious solution.

Alex huffed out a laugh at her sister’s words. “What?”

Kara shook her head, a smile on her face, but her eyes were serious. “I don’t care about our career if it means that you have to hide a big part of yourself and deny your own happiness. And if country music can’t accept you for being gay, then they don’t deserve to have us be a part of it. Our career could end tomorrow, and it wouldn’t matter to me as long as you get to be who you are.”

Tears falling at Kara’s sincerity, Alex sniffled, “I don’t know where to go from here.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Kara promised. “Let’s get through the CMA Awards. Then, why don’t we go home for a week? Get away from everything here so you can clear your head.”

“But we are home,” Alex replied, eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

“Yes, true,” Kara chuckled. “But I meant home to Mom. I think she could provide some guidance. If you decide you’re ready to tell her.”

Alex nodded, considering Kara’s idea. Another thought occurred to her. “I didn’t pick out anything to wear to the awards show.”

A smile crossed Kara’s face as she stood from the couch and held her hand out to Alex. Unsure how to decipher her sister’s action, Alex took her hand and let herself be led through the house to her own bedroom. Kara pushed the door open and stepped to the side.

Walking into the room, Alex’s eyes landed on her bed where the suit from earlier was laid out. She turned to Kara, speechless.

“I could tell you liked it,” Kara shrugged. “I’m sorry I wasn't more supportive about what you wanted. It's our night and you deserve to be yourself for once.”

Alex moved toward her sister, wrapping her in a tight hug as she whispered, “Thank you.”

As Kara pressed a kiss to Alex’s head, Alex revelled in the foreign feeling of relief that flowed through her body. She hadn’t fixed everything. She hadn’t figured everything out. But she'd taken a giant step forward, and that was a start.

Chapter Text

The day of the CMA Awards, Alex’s emotions cycled between excitement and panic. She knew she and Kara were ready for their performance. They’d spent hours rehearsing, wanting to ensure that their awards show debut went off without a hitch. But there was still the fear that something would go wrong. 

Alex’s thoughts had also been drifting to Jeremiah the past few days. She remembered watching her parents perform at the CMAs, being allowed to stay up late so she could watch the show. Alex couldn’t help but wonder what her father would say about her and Kara’s nomination. She hoped he would be beaming with pride. Most of all she wished that he could have been there with them. 

Kara had taken charge of arranging everything for the day, maintaining that Alex deserved to sit back and be taken care of. Breakfast was delivered to the house at ten. A masseuse arrived at eleven. Around noon, there was a knock on the front door. Alex, completely relaxed and lounging in a fluffy robe after her massage, sat up on the couch, confused by who could be at the door. She knew their stylist wasn’t scheduled to arrive until after one. 

Another round of knocking, this time more insistent, had Alex reluctantly pulling herself from the couch and moving toward the door. Taking a quick look through the peephole, Alex found Lucy standing on her doorstep. Further confused, Alex opened the door and was greeted by Lucy smirking as her eyes raked her up and down. 

“Damn, Alex. If I knew this is how you’d greet me, I would have been here much sooner.”

Rolling her eyes, Alex walked away from the open door. “Come in, Luce.” Stopping, Alex spun around, Lucy nearly colliding with her. “Actually, what are you doing here?”

Hands on her hips, Lucy scoffed with mock indignation, “That’s a pretty rude way to talk to your date for tonight.” 

“My date? Since when are you my date?” Alex asked, taken aback.

Lucy’s stance softened as she replied, “Since your sister called me and said you could probably use a friend by your side tonight. And we both know where all of her focus is going to be.”

Both women spoke at the same time, “James.”

Alex and Lucy laughed as Alex led the way back to the living room and the couch where they both sat, facing one another. They were silent until Lucy finally spoke, voice soft. “How have you been?”

Knowing what Lucy was asking, Alex went in a different direction with her answer. She twisted her fingers in her lap as she spoke, “Busy. Kara and I want everything to be as perfect as possible for tonight.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Lucy raised her eyebrows, refusing to let Alex deflect.

Alex sighed. There really wasn’t any point in lying to Lucy. She knew everything that had gone on between Alex and Maggie. She’d been there when it had all fallen apart. 

Alex’s voice was nearly a whisper when she finally spoke. “I’ve been really fucking sad.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucy murmured, reaching out and squeezing Alex’s knee.

Quickly wiping away an errant tear, Alex shook her head, “I, just, I can’t believe how terrible I was to Maggie. I had everything I wanted, and I destroyed it.”

“You were scared,” Lucy countered.

Alex shrugged one shoulder. “Maggie still didn’t deserve how I treated her.”

“So, what do you want to do?” Lucy asked, scooting closer to Alex on the couch.

Alex tipped her head back and looked at the ceiling. What she wanted and what she could have were completely incompatible. Looking back to Lucy, Alex could feel tears sting her eyes as she said, “I want this career that I have worked so hard for. But I want to be with Maggie. I think trying to have both is going to be impossible.”

Pushing Alex’s hair behind her ear and wiping away a tear that had fallen, Lucy spoke gently, “Alex, I’m going to say this one thing, and then we can be done with this conversation. I’ve known you for a few years now. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve seen both highs and lows for you, but I have never seen you as happy as you were when you were with Maggie.”

Alex’s chin trembled as she took in Lucy’s words. Before she could respond, Kara came bounding into the room.

“Lucy, you’re here!”

Lucy glanced at Alex once more before standing and allowing Kara to swallow her in a hug.

Quickly wiping at her face, Alex tried to get herself together. Today was supposed to be exciting and an occasion to celebrate. She didn’t want to bring everything down with her problems.

Taking in Kara’s robe-clad appearance, Lucy giddily clapped her hands. “Does this mean it’s my turn?”

“Yes,” Kara laughed. “The masseuse is set up downstairs.”

Lucy bounced and she made her way to the stairs and down. Alex shook her head at her friend's antics then noticed her sister’s eyes on her.

“You okay?” Kara asked softly. Alex should have known better than to think she’d be able to hide anything from Kara.

“I am for now,” Alex nodded. “Thank you for calling Lucy.”

Kara dropped her eyes. “Lucy’s a good friend to you. She’s able to be a little more straightforward than I can sometimes.”

Alex huffed out a laugh as she pulled her sister down onto the couch so they could rest and relax together until it was time to start getting ready.

****

When the stylist arrived, Kara was first in the chair, opting for a half-up hairstyle, the hair left down curled softly as it fell over her shoulders. Alex was next, she and the stylist already having discussed her look for the night. To go with the style of her suit, they had decided on a softer version of the marcel waves hairstyle. Finally, it was Lucy’s turn, requesting nothing more than a simple, but elegant low bun.

Once all three of the women were finished with hair and makeup, Kara pulled them together to take a selfie. The excitement for the evening blocking out everything else she had been worrying over, Alex couldn’t hold back the grin on her face as Kara snapped the picture.

The women then went their separate ways to get dressed. Alex went to her bedroom and dropped her robe, putting on each necessary piece for her suit. Once she was completely dressed, she stood in front of her mirror to take in the full effect, scrutinizing herself from every angle.

Gathering the clutch and items she had prepped earlier to take with her, Alex went to the door of her room and finally stepped out. She could hear Kara and Lucy giggling in the living room. The moment she joined them, both women stopped and stared at her. Alex was surprised to find James in the living room with them, his eyes also on Alex. She realized he must have arrived while she was getting dressed.

Alex froze under the sudden attention, nervous that she had made a mistake in her choice of outfit for the evening.

“Holy shit,” Lucy breathed, mouth hanging open. “You look hot, Alex.”

Alex blushed and started to walk away, not used to being the center of attention.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Lucy called out, halting Alex’s movement. She held up her phone, snapping a picture and then grinning at her screen.

“What was that for?” Alex asked, eyebrows scrunched and voice slightly shrill.

Lucy shrugged, looking at her phone, smirk on her lips. “Yours isn’t the only group Vasquez tours with. Gotta have something to get me through those cold, lonely nights.”

Alex’s mouth dropped open as James’ booming laughter filled the room. “Lucy! No!” 

“Too late,” Lucy shook her head.” Even if something happens to the picture, this image now lives rent-free in my mind forever.”

Scoffing, Alex continued to blush as she moved toward the kitchen, unused to this kind of attention, but not hating it.

“You really do look good, Alex,” she heard James’ voice behind her. She turned to find him standing in the doorway, hands shoved in his tuxedo pockets.

Alex wanted to ask. The question was on the tip of her tongue. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. 

James could sense Alex’s apprehension. “She’s struggling. Spends a lot of time in her apartment. She is writing music, but...her heart's just not in it. I don’t know that she’d want me to be telling any of this, but I think you should know.”

And then James turned and walked back to the living room.

Alex stood in the kitchen, letting his words sink in. All this time she never let herself think about Maggie, about how she was doing. Now that she knew, the guilt felt like a weight settling into her stomach. Maggie was struggling, and it was all her fault. Kara calling her name brought Alex back to the present, and she tried to shake the thoughts away as she rejoined the rest of the group.

The women once again stood together for a picture, this time a shot of all three of them in their outfits. Alex in her suit. Kara in a simple, satin gown with spaghetti straps and a fitted bodice. Lucy in a flowing, teal chiffon gown that showed off the expanse of her back. Kara took a couple of pictures with James, and Alex couldn’t help but watch them enviously.

After a few finishing touches from the stylist, the group headed out the door and into the limo that was waiting for them.

****

The idea of awards shows wasn’t foreign to Alex, and, in theory, she knew that once she stepped out of the limo, she would be ushered along a carpet of photographers and reporters. She still wasn’t fully prepared for the constant blinding light of flashbulbs and her name being called from all different directions. Thankfully, most of the photographers wanted photos of her and Kara together, so Alex let her sister take the lead. Lucy followed close, ever the professional, ready to jump in if necessary. James hung back, posing for a few pictures with Kara, but mostly enjoying letting the sisters have the spotlight.

Once they made it to the end of the carpet, Alex, Kara, Lucy, and James were ushered into the arena and shown their seats. Alex couldn’t help but stare in awe, amazed at how the space had been transformed from a sports arena into a glittering, elegant concert hall.

With some time before the show would start, Alex and Kara made small talk with other artists. It wasn’t Alex’s favorite thing to do, but she knew how important it was to make connections with her peers.

Forty-five minutes later, everyone was being asked to find their seats, and Alex’s stomach did a somersault. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, urging her heartbeat to slow. The feeling of Kara’s hand slipping into her own grounded Alex, and she tightened her grip giving her sister a soft smile of gratitude. Kara squeezed her hand in response, and then the lights were going down, and the show was beginning.

The host for the evening was a well-known national radio personality. Alex and Kara had been on his show a few times, and they enjoyed listening to it from time to time. The show was a cycle of the host talking and telling jokes, an artist being introduced and then performing a song, oftentimes with an elaborate stage set, an award being given, the winner giving a speech, applause, rinse and repeat.

Halfway through the show, a production assistant was sent to retrieve Alex and Kara to take them backstage to get ready for their performance. Alex’s nerves went into high gear again. The women went into the room designated for them to use to change. Their outfits had been delivered earlier in the week, and Alex and Kara unzipped the clothing bags and pulled out what they would be wearing for their performance.

Everything after that seemed to move in a blur as Alex suddenly found herself standing backstage with Kara. They were given a fifteen-minute stand-by, and Alex’s heart rate spiked. She once again felt Kara take her hand. 

“Stronger together,” Kara murmured.

Alex couldn’t help but smile at her sister as she repeated. “Stronger together.”

And with those words, a sense of calm fell over Alex. Even as they were sent to the stage for their performance, Alex didn’t feel anxious anymore.

Alex and Kara had decided to keep their performance simple, opting to sit on stools a few feet from one another. They both wore white suits, Kara opting for shorts instead of long pants, and Alex’s less form-fitting than the black one. 

As they sat in the dark, waiting for the cue to begin, Alex felt like something was missing. She took a quick inventory, unable to pinpoint what was causing the feeling. As the opening guitar chords of the song began, Alex shook the feeling away, and then they were being illuminated from behind. 

Kara took lead vocals on the song. She had written it shortly after breaking up with Mike, using the process as a form of therapy. Alex and Kara had decided to include it as a track on Better Angels' next album, releasing it as a single a few months later. The song had resonated with fans and quickly became one of their biggest hits.

As Kara began to sing, Alex looked out toward the crowd.

“Usually a drink will do the trick
Take the edge off quick, sittin’ in the dark
With a shared cigarette
Seeing eye-to-eye, and heart-to-heart
But maybe I’m just gettin’ old
Used to work but now it don’t

A long gone drive
You know the kind where you take a turn
And you don’t know why
But clears your mind, a surefire cure

I need somethin’ stronger
That’ll last a little longer”

Alex had heard and sang the song hundreds of times, but this time, as Alex sat on the stage, listening to Kara sing, she felt….mournful. Before she could give the feeling much thought, Alex joined Kara on the chorus of the song.

“I could use a love song
That takes me back, just like that
When it comes on
To a time when I wouldn’t roll my eyes
At a guy and a girl
Who make it work in a world
That for me so far just seems to go so wrong
Yeah I could use, I could use a love song”

At the chorus, the lights came up, and colors blossomed on the stage as a pair of dancers came together in graceful movements while Alex and Kara sang. 

“I wish I didn’t know so much
I peeked behind the curtain
Now that magic rush
Feels like a trick that isn’t workin

But I haven’t lost all hope yet
And yeah it’s hurtin’ but I ain’t dead”

With the lights now brighter, Alex was able to make out faces in the audience. And that’s when it hit her. The one face she wanted to see in the crowd wasn’t there. The one person she wanted to be sharing tonight with wasn’t there.

Alex tried to once again push her thoughts away as she sang, but her mind kept going over how much she wished Maggie was in the audience. Wished Maggie was sharing the experience with her.

“I could use a love song
That takes me back, just like that
When it comes on
To a time when I wouldn’t roll my eyes
At a guy and a girl
Who make it work in a world
That for me so far just seems to go so wrong
Yeah I could use
Yeah I could use, I could use a love song”

And then the song ended. The stage went dark, and Alex and Kara waited for a producer to tell them to make their way backstage and back to their dressing room to change back into their previous clothes.

They stayed in the dressing room until the next commercial break when they could return to their seats. Kara was full of giddy energy following their performance. Alex mustered as much enthusiasm as she could. She was happy that her sister was happy, but her mind was on an endless loop of memories and wishes of what could have been.

When they were given permission to go back to their seats, Lucy and James congratulated them, telling them how great the performance was, how beautiful it looked. Alex was appreciative of the praise, allowing herself to be pulled into a hug by Lucy.

Twenty minutes later, the award for Vocal Duo of the Year was being announced. Kara reached over and gripped Alex’s hand as the nominees were read. Alex’s heart rate sped up once again. There was a brief pause to build the anticipation, and then the winner was announced.

Better Angels didn’t win. 

Alex and Kara made sure to clap graciously, not wanting to be one of those artists that get caught on camera looking disgruntled over losing. Alex could feel Kara’s disappointment. She knew her sister had gotten her hopes up ever since they'd first received the news of their nomination. 

Alex felt….indifferent. She had expected to be filled with her own disappointment. It was at that moment that she realized losing the award could never compare to losing Maggie. She was more upset, more distraught over Maggie and the loss of what they'd had together, and Alex couldn't be less interested in anything else.

The rest of the show lasted another hour. Once it was over, everyone began filing out of the venue to head toward the many after-parties. Alex and Kara had received an invitation to the party being held by the head of their label, and with Lucy and James along for the ride, their limo headed that direction. 

The thought of a party didn’t excite Alex, but she had promised Kara she would at least try to have some fun. With Lucy there as well, Alex knew the other woman would either help keep her distracted or help her escape so she could go home.

The limo pulled up to the bar that had been rented out for the evening. The group once again filed out of the limo, but once inside, Kara was dragging James toward the mechanical bull set up at the back, leaving Alex and Lucy to fend for themselves.

“You want something to drink?” Lucy asked, eyeing the bar.

“Yes, please,” Alex practically pleaded, hoping she could get through one drink and then go home.

“You find a table, and I’ll meet you there,” Lucy instructed, leaving little room for argument as she walked away.

Alex glanced around, finding an empty booth and heading for it before anyone else could stake their claim. Sliding into the seat, Alex allowed herself a moment to decompress, closing her eyes. She sensed a presence next to her before she heard them speak.

“Alexandra Danvers, as I live and breathe.”

Barely holding back an eye roll and a sneer as she opened her eyes, Alex found one of the last people she wanted to see standing next to her table.

“Can I help you with something, Max?” Alex asked curtly. 

Maxwell Lord, one of the current leading men in country music, and one of Alex’s biggest mistakes. They had dated, if it could actually be called that, for a short time when both of their careers had just been taking off. Their time together had been mutually beneficial, and while they played the happy couple for the cameras, their actual relationship hadn’t progressed beyond a handful of dates. Maxwell had proven too smarmy and egotistical for Alex's liking. Not to mention the fact that she wasn’t interested in men.

Not waiting for an invitation, Max took the seat across from Alex. “So sorry about your loss tonight. I was sure the Danvers sisters would be able to pull it off. But I guess you’re not quite ready for the big leagues.”

Alex crossed her arms over her chest, tamping down her irritation, not wanting to make a scene and become a headline on the internet. Again.

“Is there something you need? Because if not, I will kindly ask you to leave.”

A snide smile crossed his face. “Just wanting to enjoy your company. And after that picture going around of you and that female singer from your tour, I figured it doesn’t hurt for you to be seen in my company.”

Anger flared in Alex’s chest. “Fuck off, Max.”

“Now, now, Alexandra, there’s no need for that,” Max chided. He tipped his head, taking in Alex’s demeanor. “I have to say if the rumors are true, it would make more sense why we didn’t work out. Though I would advise you to be more careful in being seen romantically with other women. People aren’t very accepting of the gay lifestyle. I’d hate to see you lose your career all because of your poor choices.”

Alex narrowed her eyes at Max. “You wanna know why we didn’t work out? Because you're a jerk. And I would advise you to mind your own business. Now get away from my table.”

Max shook his head and tsk’d. "So defensive, when I'm only trying to help."

Alex looked over to see Lucy standing next to her seat. “I’m pretty sure the lady asked you to leave.”

Eyeing Lucy up and down, Max smirked. “So Alex already has herself another female companion. You really are set out to destroy your career.”

Lucy set the drinks she had been carrying on the table and took a step closer to where Max sat. Her eyes were steel. “I will forcefully remove you if I have to.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Max narrowed his eyes, finally standing from the table before turning to Alex one last time. “My offer still stands. I know I could save you from your own stupid mistakes”

And then Max was walking away. Alex glared at his back as Lucy slid into the now unoccupied seat, placing their drinks in front of them.

“I can’t believe you pretended to date that condescending asshole,” Lucy scoffed, shaking her head.

“Please don’t remind me,” Alex muttered, taking a large gulp of her drink, hoping it would burn away those particular memories in her mind.

Chapter Text

The following morning, Kara and Alex were boarding a plane to head home to Midvale. Kara was still bummed over Better Angels' loss, but Alex was too preoccupied with thoughts of Maggie. 

After their run-in with Max, Alex and Lucy had stayed at the bar long enough to finish their drinks before calling it a night. In the limo, Alex had confessed to Lucy her revelation about missing Maggie.

Lucy had looked at her, as though trying to decide whether to say what was on her mind before she finally spoke, “If you’ve been looking for any sort of a sign, I’d say that’s a pretty big one right there.”

Alex hadn’t stopped thinking about Lucy’s words. Hadn’t stopped thinking about Maggie. She was certain in what she wanted to do, but the decision wouldn't affect only Alex. So she knew she needed her family’s blessing before she did anything else.

Able to quiet her thoughts for a little bit, Alex dozed on the plane, leaning heavily into Kara who didn’t seem to mind as she read the newest issue of Catco Magazine. The sisters took a car from LAX to Midvale, arriving home in the late afternoon.

Eliza was once again waiting for them when the car pulled into the driveway. She wrapped her arms around each of her girls, telling them how proud she was of them and how wonderful their performance was the night before. If Eliza hugged Alex a little tighter and a little longer, Alex chose not to read too much into it.

Dinner was already prepared, Eliza keeping it warm until Alex and Kara arrived. She had set up a table on the rooftop deck, and they carried the food out with them, settling into seats and filling their plates. The three women shared small talk as they ate. Kara filled most of the silence with her ramblings about the awards show and about how disappointed she was in not winning Vocal Duo.

Eliza nodded her understanding but reminded Kara that awards didn’t represent the true talent of an artist. And as far she was concerned, her daughters’ talent was immeasurable and she knew Jeremiah would be proud of them.

Alex both relished that thought and felt her stomach twist at the idea of possibly disappointing her father. Feeling her mother’s eyes on her, Alex looked up, but Eliza only smiled before asking Kara a question about J'onn.

Once dinner was finished, and everything had been carried back inside, Eliza suggested they sit around the fire pit for a little while. Kara eagerly ran outside to get a fire going, while Eliza handed Alex a bottle of wine and an opener as she pulled three wine glasses from the cupboard. They made their way to the outdoor pit, settling into the chairs that surrounded it. Alex uncorked the wine, filling the glasses. 

Eliza asked Kara about James, the conversation eventually progressing to include Winn and Maggie. Alex remained silent, letting her sister talk. In the middle of a story about James taking Kara to the zoo, Kara’s phone rang, her cheeks turning pink as she announced that it was James. Excusing herself, Kara walked back to the house, the sound of her voice traveling back to where her mother and sister still sat.

Alex stared at the fire, nerves filling her body as she realized this was her chance to talk to her mother. She could feel Eliza’s eyes studying her. Eliza remained quiet, giving her daughter room to speak. Finally, Alex decided on a starting point for the conversation.

“Do you miss it?”

“Miss what?” Eliza asked, patiently.

Alex continued to stare into the fire as she clarified, “Performing. Being on stage. Being in the heart of the music scene.”

Her mother’s movement caused Alex to look up. Eliza moved from her own chair to the one Kara had vacated next to Alex. She turned so she was facing her daughter.

“It wasn’t the same anymore. It wasn’t worse, but it was different. I knew, without your father, it wasn’t as important to me anymore.”

Alex could see the sadness in her mother’s eyes. She looked away, trying to muster the courage to speak her truth.

Eliza let the silence linger for a little while before finally reaching for Alex’s hand and asking, “What is it, Alex? What are you trying to tell me?”

Shaking her head, Alex murmured, “It’s nothing.”

Why did this have to be so hard? Why couldn’t she just tell her mother what she needed to say?

“Does it have to do with Maggie? You used to talk about her a lot,” Eliza carefully asked.

Alex hadn’t expected that, her mother’s question catching her off guard as tears sprang to her eyes. Eliza squeezed her daughter’s hand, shifting even closer.

“My beautiful Alexandra, why is it so hard for you to tell me?”

Her mother’s words mirroring her own thoughts were enough to prompt the tears to fall. Alex sniffled before quietly speaking, “I feel like I’m letting you down. You and Dad and all you’ve accomplished.”

“How could you being gay ever let me down?”

Alex finally looked at her mother, the sincerity she found on her face causing her to cry harder. Eliza stood from her chair, sitting on the arm of Alex’s and pulling her daughter into a hug.

“You always wanted me to have a regular life,” Alex mumbled into her mother’s shoulder.

Eliza pulled back, cupping Alex’s cheek. “Alex, look at the life our family has led. I don’t think you believe I ever expected you to have a regular life. You were always going to be different, Alex, pave your own way because you were always exceptional. And I love you, however you are.”

As Alex’s crying subsided, Eliza pulled her daughter forward, pressing a kiss to her head. She held Alex as she spoke, “You do what makes you happy. Don’t worry about the rest of us. Just focus on your own happiness, and do whatever it takes to reach it.”

Alex sighed, weary from the crying. “I just want to be with Maggie. I want to be the person she thought I was.”

“Then that’s what you’ll do,” Eliza stated, matter-of-factly, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

They stayed like that, Alex burrowed into her mother’s chest thinking quietly, while Eliza combed her fingers through Alex's hair. The women were still huddled together when Kara returned from her phone call. Alex knew she must have looked like a wreck, and she saw the concern in her sister’s eyes immediately.

“Are you okay?”

For the first time in weeks, Alex felt like she had an actual answer to that question as she gave her sister a small smile, “I will be.”

****

Over the next week, the Danvers women formulated a plan for Alex to make things right with Maggie and hopefully rebuild their relationship.

If someone had told Alex she would one day be plotting with her mother and her sister how to convince a woman to give Alex a second chance, she would have laughed in disbelief. But there she was, sitting around the kitchen table, talking about her and Maggie falling into a relationship and how she had managed to ruin the best thing that had ever happened to her. Alex was grateful for her mother’s sympathy and advice. She knew what she had done to Maggie didn’t warrant forgiveness or pity.

By the end of the week when Kara and Alex were getting on a plane to head back to Nashville, Alex had a plan and a song that she hoped would prove to Maggie just how much she really meant to her.

Chapter Text

Peeking through the crack in the doorway, Alex searched the crowd of people, not finding the faces she was waiting for, hoping they would show. Stepping back, Alex moved across the back room and stopped in front of the full-length mirror. She took in her appearance for what might have been the hundredth time that night.  

Still getting used to her new haircut and proud of herself for going through with it, Alex ran her fingertips along the shaved sides of her head. Kara had helped her style her much shorter hair for tonight, slicking it back and leaving the much shorter sides visible. Alex caught herself smiling at her reflection. She was in her usual attire of jeans, t-shirt, flannel, and Chucks with her glasses finishing off the look. Now with the hair, Alex felt like….Alex.

Moving back to the door and taking a look once again, Alex’s stomach flipped at the sight of Maggie now sitting at a table by the front of the performance area. Seated with her were Kara and James, and Alex knew she owed her sister all the sticky buns she could afford for convincing Maggie to come out tonight. She just hoped Maggie would be happy to see her.

Alex’s appearance at The Bluebird was a closely guarded secret. Determined to win back the woman she was head over heels for, Alex, with the help of Kara, Winn, and James, put her plan into motion. J’onn had easily secured her a performance slot at the cafe. Kara and James were tasked with getting Maggie to The Bluebird. Winn had eagerly agreed to play backup to Alex while she performed the song she had written for Maggie.

Alex really hoped it worked. 

“You ready?” Winn asked quietly as he handed Alex her guitar.

Running her fingers over the dove on the pickguard, Alex let out a breath. “Guess I’m as ready as I can be.”

“Hey,” Winn reached out, resting his hand on her shoulder. “You’ve got this. And Maggie’s gonna forgive you. I mean, you wrote her song. If anyone did that for me, I’d be a puddle on the floor.”

Alex laughed as Winn grinned, squeezing her shoulder before stepping away to get his own guitar.

Standing by the door, Alex closed her eyes, gathering herself in that moment. She knew the moment she stepped through those doors, there was no going back. Old worries lingered at the back of her mind, but Alex shook them away, determined to see this through and finally do what was best for her for the first time in her life.

The sound of the crowd on the other side of the door hushed, and Alex heard the host for the night speak, “We have a very special guest with us tonight, but I’m going to let them introduce themselves.”

Heart rate ticking up, Alex pulled the door open and stepped out of the back room and into the main area of The Bluebird. The cafe had been set up in-the-round tonight, and Alex weaved between the tables. She could hear murmurs in the crowd, but Alex paid them no mind as she continued her way towards the performance area. 

As she took a seat on one of the two stools, Alex allowed herself one quick peek at the table in front of her where her sister, her friend, and her heart sat. Kara and James were both smiling in encouragement. Maggie, on the other hand, looked stunned. Quickly glancing away and at the rest of the crowd, Alex propped her guitar on her lap and cleared her throat.

“Uh, hi. My name is Alex Danvers. You might know me as one half of Better Angels, but tonight I hope you don’t mind if it’s just me who plays for you. Well, me and my friend Winn here,” Alex chuckled, turning to look at Winn sitting to her left. Taking a breath, Alex turned back and continued, “So, my whole life has been about being perfect. Maybe some of you can relate to that. Perfect grades, perfect daughter, perfect sister. But there were other parts of my life that never felt perfect. And I was scared to try to explore and understand those parts of me.”

Alex paused. Her eyes settled on her sister, finding the courage she needed in Kara’s smile. Her gaze moved to Maggie. 

“Then I met someone who made everything fall into place. And I was still scared, but she made me feel safe. And I’ve never been happier than I was when I was with her. But I let fear find a way back in, and I messed everything up. I’m hoping maybe I can fix that tonight.”

Pulling her eyes away from Maggie, Alex looked down at her guitar, adjusting it on her lap and placing her fingers on the stings. She closed her eyes and began to strum, hearing Winn join her as she started to sing.

“I used to wanna be a cowboy
A shadow in a sunset
That’s why I started smokin’ cigarettes
I used to wanna be a cowboy

I used to want to be Elvis
Drive a pink Cadillac car
That’s why I learned to play the guitar
I used to wanna be Elvis

There’s a lot of things I used to wanna be ’til I met you”

Alex’s eyes opened and found Maggie’s before she continued, putting all of her sincerity in the next lines of the song.

“Now I wanna be honest
Now I wanna be better
Now I wanna be the me
I should’ve been when we were together
I wanna be at least almost close to worth your love
I want to be who
You thought I was”

Alex watched as Maggie tipped her head to the side, eyes shining. She gave the other woman a small smile.

“Used to wanna join the circus
And hang around with the freak show
Wish I’d learned to walk a tight rope
I used to wanna join the circus

Used to wanna stay eighteen
I used to want an airstream
With a lawn chair tumbleweed view
Now I just want you

And I wanna be honest
Now I wanna be better
Now I wanna be the me
I should’ve been when we were together
I wanna be at least almost close to worth your love
I want to be who
You thought I was

There’s a lot of things I used to want to be
’Til you stopped loving me”

Unable to stop her own tears from falling, Alex gathered the rest of her courage as she sang the final lines.

“Now I wanna be steady
I wanna be forever
Now I wanna be the me I could’ve been
When we were together
I wanna be at least almost
Close to worth your love

I want to be who
You thought I was
Yeah, I wanna be who
You thought I was”

Strumming the final chord, Alex stood, getting out a strangled “Thank you” as the crowd applauded before she was thrusting her guitar into Winn’s hands and hurrying around tables and out the front entrance. As soon as she was outside, Alex took a deep breath, holding the air in her lungs before slowly letting it back out.

“You really going to serenade a girl and then run, Danvers?”

Alex whirled around, finding Maggie behind her. They stood, staring at one another before Alex finally forced out the first words that came to her mind.

“Thank you for coming.”

Maggie huffed out a laugh, crossing her arms and looking down as she scuffed the toe of her boot on the asphalt. “I almost didn’t. But your sister can be very persistent. I wasn’t sure why she was so adamant about coming here tonight.”

Alex took a tentative step closer. “I’m so sorry, Maggie.”

“You said some really hurtful things. And then you froze me out,” Maggie murmured. “I wanted to be there for you, with you, but you wouldn’t even talk to me.”

“I know,” Alex whispered. “I was scared. And I know that’s not an excuse, but it felt like the one time I finally let myself be happy, finally let myself open up, the universe was smacking me back down. But you didn’t deserve what I said or what I did.”

Maggie nodded, chewing on her lip but remaining silent. Alex stepped forward again.

“I want to make things right,” Alex pleaded. “I want to be with you.”

“How do I know you’re not going to run the next time something bad happens again?” Maggie asked, dropping her arms to her sides.

Alex took one more step, standing directly in front of Maggie. “I won’t. I just…I want to be happy. With you.” Alex reached for Maggie’s hand with one of her own as she cupped Maggie’s cheek with the other. “I’ve done a lot of thinking the past few weeks, and I’ve realized I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it. Not getting to see you, be with you, hold you, kiss you. I’ve never felt that way about anyone, and it made me realize that life is too short, and we should be who we are, and we should kiss the girls we want to kiss, and I really just….I….I want to kiss you.”

Before Alex could continue, Maggie was surging forward, wrapping her arms around Alex’s neck and kissing her hard. Alex melted into the feeling of having Maggie close again as she let her hands fall to Maggie’s lower back, pulling her closer.

They kissed until the need for air became necessary. Alex rested her forehead against Maggie’s, her hands drifting up and down along Maggie’s sides.

Reaching up, Maggie scratched at the shaved sides of Alex’s head and murmured, “By the way, this haircut looks great on you.”

Alex hummed in response. 

Standing there with Maggie. Having her in her arms. Knowing that things were going to be okay between them. The words that had been echoing in her mind for weeks rushed out as a whisper, “I love you, Maggie Sawyer.”

Maggie’s eyes softened, and a dimpled grin appeared as the other woman whispered back, “I love you, Alex Danvers.”

At those words, Alex let out a sigh, hand drifting up to Maggie’s neck and tipping her head until their lips met once again. This was what Alex wanted. The woman she loved was in her arms, and she was finally taking a step towards becoming the person Maggie thought she was all along. The person she was meant to be.