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“Lucifer!” Trixie yells his name as she waves, standing in a circle of kids gathered around something that looks like a tiny volcano, and then takes off running towards him. When she stops several feet away, her eyebrows draw together in a frown. “Wait, why are you here? Is my mom okay?”
He feels bad for scaring her. He’s been part of her life for a long time now, but he doesn’t usually pick her up from school or camp, not without Chloe’s go ahead anyway. And after everything that’s happened, it’s no wonder Trixie would assume the worst. “Your mum’s perfectly fine, child. No need to worry.”
Trixie visibly relaxes. “Well, why are you here then?”
Lucifer stiffens. He has no idea how to explain it or even if he should explain it. He really doesn’t want to accidentally traumatize Trixie with the Earth shattering truth about his origins. Perhaps he should say as little as possible. Keep it to what she absolutely needs to know. “How would you like to have a family day off? We could go to the beach?”
The little girl narrows her eyes at him, much like Chloe, and Lucifer suddenly has a clear picture of his possible future. The future where he never wins any argument and would do anything for his three girls. His heart clenches painfully in his chest. The longing, the desire is almost suffocating.
“Why?” Trixie asks, suspicious. “We haven’t really done anything together in a while ‘cause you’ve all been so busy. What changed?”
He lets out a laugh. “Can’t get anything past you, can I?”
Trixie shrugs her shoulders, proud. “Well, both my parents are detectives. The best detectives. It’s in my blood.”
He blinks at her use of present tense. “Well, if you must know, something’s come up and I realized that with all the work, I haven’t been spending much time with... my family, so this is a chance to fix it. Now do you want to go or do you want to stay here and do-” he looks past her at the now erupting volcano “-your science experiments?” he finishes curtly before he reveals anything else. Like how much he’s grown to care for this mischievously grinning child. He said goodbye to so many people today, leaving the most important ones for last and only now does he realize that he can’t do it. He hates that he might have no choice.
“You need to talk to Mrs. Phillips and sign me out,” Trixie says.
“Already done, now let’s go.” He turns away from her and moves in the direction of the parking lot.
The child makes a noise of surprise before running to catch up with his long strides. “Unbelievable,” she says, glaring up at him.
“What’s that?”
“So much for ‘Do you want to go to the beach, urchin,’” she says, putting on an absolutely awful British accent.
Lucifer feels torn between laughter, she is certainly her mother’s daughter, and wanting to glare at her in return. He does neither, just starts walking faster, forcing Trixie to jog. She doesn’t seem to mind. “You really have to work on that atrociousness. I sound nothing like that.”
“Oh, I plan to. I watch Doctor Who and practice,” Trixie gleefully informs him. “Just so I can tease you.”
Children are truly terrifying creatures. Hopefully she’ll grow out of it someday soon. “Should I feel honored or horrified for being so ruthlessly singled out?”
She grabs his hand. The old habit of pulling away stirs deep inside, but doesn’t wake. He lets her swing their hands as they walk, well, he walks and Trixie skips.
“Honored,” she says eventually. “It’s what family does, you know, they tease each other when the others are being silly.”
A warmth blooms in his chest. It’s been a long time since he started considering the urchin his family, and it’s nice to know the feeling is reciprocated. He knows all too well what it’s like to not be wanted by the people he loves. He hums in reply.
“Where’s Mom?” Trixie asks as they near the parking lot.
“She’s waiting at home. Actually she doesn’t know about this, it’ll be a surprise.” He hopes a welcome surprise. He doesn’t like the way they parted ways earlier today.
“Oh, she’ll love it.” Ever the glass-half-full optimist. “She loves going to the beach, and today is a perfect beach day.”
Today is also the day he’s supposed to disappear without a trace or a clue. How could it happen if he doesn’t go near the scene of the crime? Maybe he should’ve just locked himself in the panic room. Would the building crumble around him then? Best not to think about it.
Peering around, Trixie clutches his arm to balance herself up on tiptoe to look farther. “Where’s your car?”
Lucifer grins. He just knows she’s going to love this. “There it is, child,” he says, nonchalant, and waits for her reaction.
Trixie freezes when she realizes he’s talking about the vintage red Aston Martin right in front of her. Her mouth opens almost comically and Lucifer fights to keep a straight face. He loves the Corvette, but unfortunately it doesn’t have a backseat and they’ll need it today.
“Wow,” Trixie says. “It’s beautiful. Red is my favorite color, you know.” She takes a careful step forward and hovers her hands over the hood. A smile stretches her lips as she looks at him. “Are you going to freak out if I touch it?”
“I do not freak out,” Lucifer huffs, trying not to be put off by her reaction. It is way less enthusiastic than he thought it would be. Miss Lopez would surely appreciate the car like it deserves.
“‘Don’t touch my piano, I don’t know where you’ve been,’” Trixie says, before she starts giggling.
“Again with the accent? Stop it, will you? Or you’re uninvited,” Lucifer says without any real bite to his words. If he survives today, he’ll just have to give her lessons. If Trixie is going to tease him, she might as well do it properly.
Grinning, she gives the car a gentle pat before opening the door and getting in. “What’s this?” she says pointing to the covered box sitting in the back seat.
Right. “Something to give to your mum.” He sits down and reaches for the ignition key just as Trixie peeks under the cover.
“Clothes?” Giving him a look, she kneels in her seat and maneuvers the box slightly. “Charlie’s baby clothes,” she reads. “Why would my mom need Charlie’s baby… Oh,” Trixie says, voice completely flat as she puts two and two together.
Lucifer tries not to fidget. He has no clue what her reaction might be. If Trixie ever thought about having a sibling, surely she pictured Chloe having another child with Daniel, not him. Not to mention that just a month ago he would be the first to panic at the very thought. Though, if he survives this whole ordeal, he will schedule a day specifically so he can panic and drink copious amounts of alcohol.
He holds his breath, watching Trixie carefully cover the box with the sheet and retake her seat. “Some timing, huh?”
He huffs, he can’t help it. It’s an understatement of the century. They sit in silence for a moment longer until he can’t take it anymore. He shifts in his seat. “Are you okay with that?”
Trixie slides one leg underneath her and turns to face him. “It’s not like I have a say.”
“But your opinion still matters. To both of us.”
She looks away, in the direction where they came from. The parking lot isn’t far and they can still hear indistinct voices drifting from the camp. “It’s just unexpected, I guess. But… I’m okay with it.”
The relief he feels is immense as the tension leaves his shoulders. “Good. Good. Fasten your seatbelt,” Lucifer says, turning the key in the ignition. The car purrs. He should take it out more often.
“Is the baby gonna be like a liger?” Trixie asks, ignoring his words, a slight frown on her face.
“What?”
“Half lion and half tiger. Liger.”
Lucifer chokes on air and Trixie rises on her knees to slap him on his back with an open palm. “Goodness, child, I’m not dying.” He shoos her back into her seat. “Why would you say that?” It’s a risk, but if he’s right…
Trixie settles back down and gives him a look that screams You cannot possibly be this stupid.
When he says nothing, Trixie sighs. "I know the truth, Lucifer."
"What truth?" he asks, but he most certainly, definitely knows the answer.
"The truth," Trixie says. "I've suspected for a while. Some things you can't explain by the 'oh, he's probably just a magician' excuse."
Suddenly defensive, Lucifer glares. "I'll have you know, magicians are national treasures. They use their skills to deceive you without actually telling a lie," he says before he can think better of it.
Just like her mother, Trixie rolls her eyes at him. "Sure. They’re cool. But you’re not a magician, you're an angel."
The matter-of-factness of her words makes him proud, in a strange way. It’s not like he’s ever really hidden it, but she believed him, or possibly figured it out herself. Truly the Detective’s daughter. And, well, Daniel’s. "Does that... bother you?" He asks anyway.
Trixie shrugs, fiddling with the seatbelt buckle before replying, "I don't think so. I mean if I hadn't already suspected, then maybe. But it's like growing up with smartphones and the Internet, I guess. They're not weird new things like they were to my grandma. Or even Mom. And besides-” she grins at him “-you were scared of me. I always found it so funny. The so-called devil is terrified of the hugs of a little girl."
Lucifer huffs. He was not terrified, it's just… sticky fingers and expensive suits don’t go together. But she is no longer that tiny child, he realizes. Life is forcing her to grow up quicker than she should.
"And you've always been good to me,” she says, serious again. “From the first day we met, I was never once afraid of you. That had to mean something, right?"
Turning in his seat to face her, Lucifer waits until she meets his eye. "I need you to know that I would never let anything bad happen to you."
Trixie nods. "I know that." She looks away, troubled. "Though you did hurt me when you left without even saying goodbye."
The admission feels like a punch in the gut. But no words can undo what's been done. At least that act of disappearance actually happened and he can own up to it. "I had to go back to Hell. I had to keep my demons in line. I did it to protect Chloe, and you, and Charlie, and everyone else. But... I do apologize for not taking a moment to say goodbye. I'm really sorry, Beatrice."
After a moment, Trixie nods, accepting his apology, and then a small smile appears on her face again. “Like Mom says, it’s not good to be stuck in the past. You're here now, that’s what matters.”
He is here. But for how long? He can’t say goodbye to his family. He just can’t. The very thought is agonizing.
Looking straight ahead, he pulls into gear.
How things have changed, Lucifer marvels as he stares into Chloe's bright blue eyes. "None of us can be certain of the future. But what we can control is what we do right now. So whether this is my last day or not, what I do know is that I would like to spend it with the people I love most. My family.
"Chloe Jane Decker," he says, lowering himself down on one knee. Imagining for a second that he's really proposing. He's self aware enough to admit that he likes the thought of being hers in every way possible. "Would you consider spending the rest of today with me and our daughters?"
Her eyebrows lift in surprise. "Daughters? Is Trixie..." she trails off.
Lucifer nods. "I picked her up from camp, she's waiting in the car. I hope that's okay?"
Tugging on his hands, she presses her lips to his as he stands up. "It's perfect." Then a frown chases away her smile. "Wait, but she doesn't know. How are we going to explain Rory's presence to her?"
"Ahh," he says quite eloquently, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to convince Chloe, what a shame. "Well, she knows the truth. She's known it for a while apparently."
"She knows?" Chloe repeats, fear in her eyes. He hates to see it there.
Lucifer cups her cheeks in both hands. "Trixie is fine, I promise you," he assures. "She even mocked me if you can believe it, the little devil."
This makes Chloe smile and it's like the sun peeking through clouds. "Okay." She nods. "I'll have a word with her, but give me a second to change?"
He doesn't try to resist the urge to kiss her before letting her go. "Wear something beach-y. Oh, and the urchin asked me to fetch her her sunglasses," he calls after Chloe.
"They're in her room, on top of the dresser."
Carefully sliding the door open, he steps inside. The sunglasses are exactly where Chloe said they'd be and he carefully picks them up. The child's room is an explosion of colors and pictures and things to look at, but he focuses on a picture of the devil. She painted him in several shades of red, with pitchfork and tail, a huge smile, and a speech bubble with What do you desire? written inside it. It makes him smile. It makes him wonder.
Lost in thought, he doesn't notice when Chloe walks in and wraps her arms around his torso from the side. She's wearing a long flowy dress, looking impossibly soft. He feels soft and it feels right.
"This is copyright infringement," Lucifer says, half afraid he's going to pour his heart out instead. "I should call my lawyer."
Chloe's smile grows wider. "He's not wearing an outrageously expensive suit. You're gonna lose the case."
"Darling, he's not wearing anything."
She leans in closer and his breath hitches, she's beautiful and his. "Yeah," Chloe whispers, their lips separated by mere inches, all he needs to do is lean down just a little. "He's a smoothie."
With a smirk, tongue caught between her teeth, she pulls back, tugging him after her.
He laughs.
The drive to the beach simultaneously takes forever and no time at all.
He commits each second to memory, as if it might be his last. Every sensation serves to remind him that he’s still alive, still here, with his family. The breeze in his hair blows the product straight out of it. The salty ocean air fills his lungs. The whooping and cheering of the girls from the backseat, their arms wide open and smiles radiant, remind him of the beauty found in the little things.
Trixie shouts over the wind that she’s flying. Chloe’s hand alternates between holding his or resting on his thigh. Her smile is brighter than the sun and the pull of it is stronger than that of a black hole. Except he knows it’s safe. It’s home.
The songs blast from the speakers. Chloe made them a playlist composed of each of their favorite songs at a game night a couple of months ago just for an occasion such as this. Their daughter from the future could not have been consulted just then, but Rory rolls with it, and Lucifer can’t help but laugh out loud when it seems that she likes the sweet 90’s jams the most.
In a moment of weakness, he thinks about his own parents. They never had beach dates, or game nights, or karaoke battles. They never argued over what song or movie is better, based on an arbitrary quality scale decided upon right in the heat of the moment. They never had mutually beneficial deals that ended in driving lessons or unicorns painted on their cheeks. Never had water balloon fights. He cannot imagine either of his parents having this kind of carefree fun with him or any of his siblings. Perhaps in hindsight, it explains a lot. Perhaps it explains everything.
Lucifer glances back, briefly, at the two girls. Their daughters, he said and meant it. Even if Daniel was still alive, Trixie is his family and he would do anything to protect her and make sure she lives a good life.
He pulls on Chloe’s hand until he can press a kiss to her knuckles. She smiles, bright and beautiful, unsuccessfully trying to keep the hair away from her face, and mouths, ” I love you,” at him.
This, Lucifer thinks, this is what I want. A lifetime of this and then beyond. Please, I’ll do anything.
He means it with his entire being.
The beach is a little too windy to be completely pleasant, but beggars can't be choosers, and there's no one up there to ask for a meteorological favor anyway.
His hair gets more and more out of control and, no longer kept in place by the product, keeps falling down his forehead. After some time on the beach, it's only going to get worse. Fortunately for him, Chloe seems to really like him slightly unkempt, so he lets it go without complaints. Right now, complaining just feels wrong.
Rory helps him spread the blanket, and then dives into the basket filled with snacks. When she throws a chocolate candy to Trixie, the urchin pointedly raises her eyebrows, and Rory grins. "Some things don't change."
They each take a side of the blanket, with Chloe and Trixie next to him, and Rory directly opposite. Despite the craziness of the whole situation, it's easy to just be in each other's company.
The hastily prepared sandwiches (no one comments) disappear in no time. There’s nothing quite like a beach picnic, even if the wind keeps insisting that Chloe and Rory have to try their hair as garnish.
Eventually, Chloe's hand finds his like it belongs there. And when she smiles at him, full of love and acceptance, he wants to freeze this moment and live in it forever.
"So," Trixie asks as she unwraps her candy, her sunglasses perched on top of her head. "Have we gone to Mars when you're from?"
"Subtle." Rory points two fingers at Trixie and wiggles them. He grins. "You know I can't tell you anything."
"If you told me that I'd become the first president of Mars, I'd only work harder trying to achieve it. Right now it seems rather hopeless anyway."
"If I tell you, you'd only feel like you have no choice," Rory says quietly, her features darkening with the truth of the statement.
He wondered the same thing. He'd never blame her for it, but what if Rory's coming back is a self fulfilling prophecy and not a time loop? It’s his first hands-on experience with time travel, but prophecies? Oh, Lucifer hates them with a passion.
Chloe squeezes his hand, drawing his attention to her. When he meets her eyes, she shakes her head, barely noticeable. Free will, you remember? she said earlier today. He does. He presses his lips to her hand until she smiles again.
"It's a difficult job to be a president," Chloe tells the urchin after a moment.
Trixie just huffs, unimpressed. "Come on, Mom, anyone can be a president these days. At least I have good intentions."
He chuckles. "I'm sure you'd make a better president than most, urchin."
Trixie's smile turns outright devilish. "Thank you, Lucifer. You can fund my campaign."
His smile slips. Although...
"Okay, okay," Chloe laughs, interrupting his thoughts. "While it definitely seems like anyone can be a president, they do need to be an adult too. So maybe focus on finishing school first?"
With a signature Decker eye roll that makes her look exactly like her mother, Trixie shoves the rest of the candy in her mouth. "Boring," she mumbles. He can't help but agree. Maybe she isn't his in blood, but she's definitely his in spirit.
"Urchin, huh? What am I then?" Rory asks, a wistful look on her face as she watches them.
Lucifer hates to think that she didn’t have this. That the tiny speck of life inside Chloe won’t have this. It fuels his resolve to fight harder.
"Well, clearly you're a bird," he says, and the lightheartedness of it is only a little forced.
Rory frowns, pretending to think it over. "A chicken, right?"
"Chickens are great," Trixie pipes in and Chloe points at her.
"She's right. You can't have egg sandwiches without the eggs."
Lucifer grins, unable to resist the pull. "And you're not a chicken. You're a chick. Chloe is a chicken. And I am a-"
He doesn't get to finish. With identical expressions of fond exasperation and mild disgust, Chloe and Rory "Don't!" at him in unison.
Trixie stares at them for a second before she scrunches up her nose. "Ew," she says with so much feeling that the three of them lose it in a fit of somewhat hysterical giggles.
“You know, I’m rethinking this whole growing up idea,” the urchin says, looking at them like they belong in a loony bin. “You’re worse than the five year old who lives next door.”
“I don’t think you have a choice there, T.” Rory grins. “Can’t fight nature, ya know?”
Scrunching up a napkin, Trixie throws it at her sister. “I have a feeling that you annoy me a lot in the future.”
Still grinning, Rory gently shoves her and Trixie careens into Lucifer. “Oh you have no idea.”
“Come on, girls,” Chloe says in her mom voice, trying hard not to smile. “Play nice.”
“Oh hey,” Trixie says, pulling out her phone. “I have an idea.” She wiggles her eyebrows as she shows them her phone with the camera app open.
Lucifer’s heart skips a beat. If he disappears, this will be the last of him they’ll ever see. The last photo of them together and happy. He swallows the lump in his throat and schools his features. When Chloe looks at him before moving to sit in between his legs, she only sees a happy smile on his face.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to have me in the photos. You know, the whole time travelling thing and all.”
“Rory-” Chloe begins, but Trixie interrupts her.
“As if I’d ever let you go through my phone. Come on, you wuss.”
Huffing, Rory scoots closer. “Technically I’m older than you right now, and still your big sister energy just can’t be contained.”
“Are you afraid?”
“A little.”
He hides his smile in Chloe’s neck. Little girls are mysterious and terrifying. Dan was right, having a daughter is the best. And he has two. Whatever happens, he can at least make sure they have good lives and want for nothing.
“Good,” the urchin says. “Deckers one, Morningstars zero.”
On the other hand, maybe he won’t be giving out cash to a certain someone for a while. “Excuse me?” he asks, scandalized.
She just grins and captures his indignation on camera.
Chloe shakes with laughter in his arms and he looks down at her, registering another click of the shutter. Oh well.
“Come on, now smile,” Trixie demands, snapping what he thinks is a gazillion photos, as she and Rory make faces and give each other finger horns. But he feels content to just stay as he is, with Chloe pressed against him, no longer laughing, but smiling softly at the camera, the ocean, the girls, and him. He soaks it all in. Soaks her in, just in case he… Well, just in case.
“You guys are sickeningly adorable. Don’t move.” The urchin scrambles to her feet and points the phone at them again. “Perfect,” she says and sighs looking at the picture she just took. After a second, Trixie shakes her head. “Can any one of you help me?” She points at a big rock behind her.
Chloe pats his thigh and holds out her hands to Trixie. “I’ll do it.”
And then he’s left alone with Rory who devotes way too much of her attention to unwrapping one small candy. Lucifer clears his throat. “This is fun. Isn’t it?“
She hums, but doesn’t offer anything else, and he feels this looming sense of dread again. Does he even have it in him to be a good father? Is he doomed to repeat his father’s mistakes? He hasn’t left yet, but it’s also happened years ago for Rory, and though he knows from his own experience that no words in the universe can fix it, he also knows that hearing them can ease the pain, just a little bit.
“Rory,” he says, quietly and hesitantly, unsure of her reaction. “I need you to know that I believe you.” He watches her closely, but apart from a brief glance of acknowledgement, she keeps looking at where Chloe and Trixie laugh as Chloe takes pictures of the child. “That I was gone when you needed me the most. It’s just...” He sighs. “It’s just taken me so long to accept it because I know what it feels like to be abandoned by a parent.” He lets out a bitter huff, the feelings he thought he’d dealt with long ago consume him all over again. “Hell, both parents, if I were to be honest. I know what it’s like to feel rejected. I invented it, you might even say.”
It earns him a chuckle, and Lucifer smiles, and shoves his own, apparently still present, anger at his parents aside. This is not about him, this is about his daughter. “I was angry at my father too. And I was angry at myself. I thought it was my fault, that I was a monster who’d done something to make myself unworthy of his love.” His voice wobbles and he focuses on Chloe, on her smiling face, centering himself again.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Rory watch him, but when he turns his head, she looks away. Her frown and the way she presses her lips together give her away and Lucifer knows, in his heart of hearts, that she felt it too. The confirmation threatens to shatter him into a million pieces, never to be put together again. The thought of doing this to his own child, of making her feel rejected and unwanted makes him sick. “Whatever the reason, whatever makes me leave, I need you to know that it could never be your fault. And I need you to know that I will do everything in my power to stay. I promise you that.” She finally meets his eye and he holds her gaze. “I’m so sorry I left you.”
Her eyes glimmer with unshed tears. “I know that now,” she whispers. And when he tentatively reaches for her, she lets him pull her into a hug.
They sit like this, in companionable silence, watching Trixie direct Chloe this way and that as she snaps more pictures of her mother.
The mood is sombre when they return to the penthouse.
The metal of the panic room gleams menacingly in the artificial lighting. Feeling like he’s not getting enough air, Lucifer pops open another button of his shirt. It doesn’t help.
“So now what?” the urchin asks. “We just hide in there and panic for two and a half hours?”
“Panic room is just a name, not an instruction manual, you know,” Rory teases, but her voice is tight with anxiety. Today is the day she’s heard about her entire life, the day her father disappeared without a trace. Lucifer can’t imagine what it’s like for her to actually be here.
“How about we rename it then,” Chloe says, putting on a brave face for her daughters. For him too. “Let’s call it the feeling totally fine room, how about that?”
“The eating whatever snacks we have left and playing a game room?” Rory suggests and smirks as she pulls out a deck of cards from her jacket pocket.
“I think we have a winner, ladies. Too bad I don’t have Monopoly in here.” He remembers Rory’s words from the wedding. Perhaps a little unfair, but he understands her hurt and why she would lash out.
“It’s okay,” she says, giving him a small smile. “This will do just fine.”
“Well, then.” He spins open the door. “Shall we?”
“Wow,” Chloe says when they enter the room, slowly turning around, taking it all in. He glances at her with a smile, punches in the code, and presses his fingertip to the scanner.
“A bit thrown together, I admit, I only had a day.”
“A day?” The urchin’s eyebrows climb her forehead. “I guess there really is nothing money can’t buy, is there?”
Rory laughs as he glares at Trixie. “You know you’re growing into a very sensible young lady,” he tells her.
Trixie sticks out her tongue. “I kinda have to, if I wanna be president.”
He decides not to grace that with a response. “Anyway, the door is locked now, and will only unlock once the day is over.”
Seating herself next to Chloe on the settee, Trixie asks, “What if one of us needs to pee?”
Rory snaps her fingers at her sister. “Sensible. Guess we’ll just have to hold it in. What are we playing?”
He takes a seat in another chair opposite Rory and watches Trixie take the deck of cards out of Rory’s hands.
“Poker. What?” the urchin asks when she sees Chloe’s expression. “It’s not hard. And I’ll deal. I’m the youngest here, so I get to pick.”
“Do you,” Chloe asks, in her don’t-push-it mom voice and gently tugs on one of Trixie’s braids. “Do you really?”
“Mom,” Trixie whines, making him and Rory laugh.
“Who taught you anyway?”
She looks down at the cards she’s shuffling. “Ella.”
He meets Chloe’s eyes and shrugs. She really can’t complain. If it wasn’t Miss Lopez, it would’ve been him, and Lucifer knows she knows it.
“Okay, fine. Let’s play. We’ll bet with the leftover candy,” Chloe decides and he winks at her, it’s a worthy prize and he’s confident in his own skills.
The minutes stretch out seemingly against the laws of physics. It takes him two games to realize that Chloe isn’t even trying, and he bumps his foot into hers under the table to let her know, but she just smirks. He doesn’t call her out.
However, Rory tries and soon enough it’s just them playing against each other as Chloe deals. Lucifer watches his daughter’s face and she keeps it annoyingly neutral. He’s positive he’s discovered her tell, but then it’s time to show their cards.
He resists the urge to swear. She’s good and she knows it.
Rory grins. “Gimme my candy.”
“You were bluffing,” he accuses.
“So were you.” She sticks her tongue out at him. “Ah, don’t be such a sore loser.”
Lucifer huffs. “I am not a loser. I merely-”
“Let me win?” Rory teases. “Finally met your match, Dad?”
He freezes.
The smile on Rory’s face slowly slips as she registers what she’s just said. Unthinkingly. It both warms and breaks his heart. She clears her throat. “I’ll shuffle the cards.”
Chloe slips her foot underneath the fabric of his pants, rubbing her toes against his bare skin in support and he looks at her. A soft smile, the one she reserves just for him, is playing on her face. She has her arm wrapped around a dozing Trixie, and she mouths, “Love you”, at him again.
The sound of the door mechanism unlocking startles them.
“Is it midnight already?” Chloe asks.
Rory carefully puts the cards back inside her jacket pocket before standing up.
“It’s August fifth,” he says, moving to easily scoop Trixie, still fast asleep, into his arms, as Rory and Chloe start towards the door, leading their way up the stairs.
The last bong of the clock greets them when Rory rotates the handle and pushes the steel door open. She steps first into the open space of the penthouse, looking around for any potential threats. “Well, it’s midnight all right.”
They stand in a semi circle, not knowing what to say or do, until finally he nods at the little girl in his arms. “I’m just going to...”
“Yeah, right, of course, it’s way past her bedtime anyway,” Chloe says, leaning down to press a kiss to Trixie’s forehead. “Thank you,” she whispers to him.
"Ha," Rory says softly. "Little Trixie has bedtime." Then she frowns. "Actually, it's not even weird because big Trixie also has bedtime. She is very much your child, Mom."
Grinning, Lucifer walks up the stairs to the bedroom, carefully laying the sleeping girl down on the bed. She doesn’t even stir when he covers her with a comforter. He stands there for a moment, watching her. It’s midnight, so perhaps it means they won. But in case they didn’t, in case something happens and takes him away from his family, from Chloe, from these two kids, one of which technically isn’t even born, he knows it will hurt like a bitch. It already does. He also knows there’s no way he wouldn’t fight for them until his dying breath. Is this how it happens?
With a deep sigh, Lucifer turns away and walks back to the main room of the penthouse, watching Chloe hold Rory in a loose embrace as he pours himself a drink.
“So,” he says, as cheery as he can manage, and shoves his anxiety deep down. “It’s the fifth and I’m still here. Who cares about fate when you have free will, am I right?”
Chloe smiles at him, bright and happy, easily caught up in his enthusiasm. Sometimes Lucifer thinks they might be emotionally linked, because whenever she’s happy, he’s happy, and it seems to work in the opposite direction. Though maybe it’s one of these Being in a Committed and Loving Relationship things. He should ask her about it someday.
“I think Rory coming back changed things after all," she says, giving their daughter a reassuring smile.
“Either way, I’m here. You’re here.” Lucifer points to Chloe.
“And I’m still here too,” Rory interrupts him, looking as glum as ever. “Which means my past happens just the way I remember it. Which means you still leave, just not yesterday as I was led to believe. And I still don’t know why.” She sounds devastated and it tugs on his heartstrings.
Crossing over to where they stand, he puts his glass on top of the piano. “But you can’t know that for sure,” Lucifer says gently, carefully placing one hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze.
“Oh, I can’t?” Rory blurts out angrily, immediately casting a glance towards the bedroom where her sister sleeps. She sighs, reigning her emotions in. “Okay,” she tries again, much calmer this time. "I guess I can’t know that for sure, but what else am I supposed to think? Or do? Just stay and wait for you to leave us? Or if Mom's right and I did change things, then what? Do I move in and we all become a happy family? Do I get to raise myself, sort of? I don’t belong here. Whatever the outcome, I need to go back to my time.” Looking utterly defeated, she moves past him towards the piano, gently running her fingers across the few keys. The sound is deafening in the quiet of the penthouse.
He looks at Chloe, sure she’s seeing the same pain etched into his features as he sees in her face. Wringing her hands, but ultimately without any definitive answers, she sits down onto the couch and he takes place next to her. Both their hands find their way to the other’s knee. It’s a small comfort, this knowledge that he’s not alone in this.
There were so many things he had to deal with alone.
“And you know what,” Rory says suddenly, disrupting the silence that’s fallen over them, the air of frantic energy all over her. “I got here because I was so angry, so-” she fists her hands “-blindingly angry, and all this time I’ve been trying to feel that way again, but I can't.”
“Rory,” Chloe begins, but Rory doesn’t let her finish.
“I thought you chose to leave us.” She looks directly at him. “I thought you didn’t give two shits about us, despite everything that I was told about you. But I see it now that you do. I’ve only been here for three weeks, and I can tell how much you hate the idea of leaving us. Of leaving Mom. Trix. Your friends. And I saw how happy you two are together. So I just,” her voice breaks and Lucifer and Chloe make a move to get up, but Rory holds out a hand stopping them. She visibly composes herself before continuing, “I don’t understand what could have possibly been big enough or powerful enough for you not to claw your way back to us. Unless you died, but we ruled that out because Mom wouldn’t hide that from me.”
He ponders the possibility again. “If I was killed, which is possible, my soul would still live on. The only thing that can permanently erase me from existence is Azrael’s blade, and it’s safely put away right now. Perhaps we should consider destroying it,” Lucifer says, exchanging a soft look with Chloe as he takes her hand in his. He knows she still feels guilty about her rage spree, about losing control like that, and he needs to make it absolutely clear that it was in no shape or form her fault. Besides, there doesn’t need to be a way to destroy a soul in this world.
He thinks of Uriel, the brother who surely would’ve had much to say about this time loop they’ve found themselves in. But he’s no more. And neither is Remiel. But then without the blade, his Mum would still be here, or maybe the planet would’ve been destroyed by her essence. So many what if’s. So many ways things could’ve gone down. Would he still be here? That’s the eternal question he’s not sure he ever wants answered.
Rory shrugs her shoulders. “Anyhow, after everything I’ve seen, I can’t hope to get that angry again. I-” she cuts herself off, then takes a deep breath. “I see that you love Mom. That you love me, even though you don’t actually know me. You don’t know my favorite cereal. Or my favorite song. Or my favorite movie. You don’t know how I like my coffee, or what my major in college was. You only know that I hated you so much for leaving us, I wanted to kill you,” she says, squaring her jaw. Her forehead creases as she's trying hard to hold back tears.
It’s hard to hear her say it out loud. He can see how much it’s affecting her and it pains him that he can’t do anything to erase all the hurt he's caused her. “Rory-”
“No, please, let me finish,” Rory begs and he nods. “You let me shoot you the other day just 'cause you thought it would make me feel better. And it didn’t. Hurting you back didn’t make me feel any better because whatever happened, whatever made you leave us, that had to hurt you so much more than it ever hurt me. And if my anger is the key, then I can never go back, because I can never be mad at you ever again. Now after everything I know now.“ A few tears escape and she ignores them, but when Chloe gets up, she doesn’t protest and quietly accepts her mother’s comforting embrace.
Everything in him screams at him to join them, but Lucifer remains seated, watching as Rory hides her face in Chloe’s neck, and Chloe runs her hand through her hair, gently murmuring something to their daughter.
A feeling akin to a half formed idea, or a dream slipping away, keeps nagging at him, until suddenly he remembers.
He remembers that session with Dr Linda as clearly as if it happened yesterday. How angry he was with his mother and father for manipulating him yet again. For using Chloe. For ruining his one shot at happiness. The ghosts of his parents just won’t leave him alone today..
”Not the anger,” Dr Linda said. ”The pain. That’s what you've been suppressing.”
“I think,” he says slowly. “I think there might be a way.”
He doesn’t miss the way Rory tries to discreetly wipe her eyes as she and Chloe break apart and face him. He stands up, takes a step towards them.
“Lucifer, what do you mean?” Chloe asks. “A way to do what?”
“A way for Rory to go back to her time. Do you know anything about the Flaming Sword?” He addresses his daughter.
Rory frowns. “Well, it’s Azrael’s blade plus a fancy medallion and Charlie’s necklace all combined together to make it go whoosh,” she says, making a gesture with both hands. “Never seen it lit up though, despite all my asking.”
“Probably for the best,” Chloe says, a frown on her face.
He can’t argue with that. Azrael’s blade is dangerous on its own, but he would rather not have the full on Flaming Sword within stabbing distance of anyone he cares about.
Rory shakes her head. “Oh, I also know it guarded Eden. So, like, it’s cool. But what about it?”
“Well, after my rebellion, I and everyone else were led to believe that my Father had destroyed it. But then my mum realized that the sword was actually Azrael’s blade.”
“That’s a great history lesson, Dad, but how does it help with, you know, time travel?”
“Ah,” Lucifer says, reaching for the glass of scotch on the piano and swallows the rest of its contents down. “Knowing the past can help you save the future.” He snaps the fingers of both hands at Chloe and Rory, who are wearing identical let’s just go along with this for now expressions. It’s kind of endearing even. “Anyway, according to Mum, only I could light up the sword. Well, I suppose Dad also could, but since we were going to use it to get our revenge, I don't think he would’ve helped.”
“And you said we don’t shoot people in this family?” Rory says dryly. “I’m pretty sure it’s in our DNA, Mom.”
Chloe sighs, but a smile tugs on her lips. “Well, not on my watch,” she says.
Lucifer grins, momentarily flashing back to the day he convinced her to marathon all the Body Bags movies with him. One of the best Saturdays of his life. And they didn’t even have sex that day. “That’s really good,” he says, still grinning at her.
“Lucifer? The sword?”
His smile slips. “Right. As I was saying, at first we didn’t know we had it, but what tipped Mum off was the sword catching flame when I...” he trails off looking directly at his daughter.
“When you were angry?” Rory finishes for him. “But I’m not angry anymore. And I don’t think there’s anything you can do or say that would get me that angry again. I don’t think it’s going to work.”
“No, no, no, because, Rory, that’s the thing, my anger at my Father, or my Mother for that matter, wasn’t the answer.” He watches Chloe out of the corner of his eye, watches her track his every move. He’s never told her about this before. “It wasn’t just the anger you were feeling, was it?” he asks their daughter, thinking about the beach, her revealing expression. He hates the idea of hurting her again, especially because this might not even work. This is a wild guess, nothing more.
She presses her lips into a thin line and shakes her head.
That’s what he thought. “Me too. There was so much pain, and heartbreak, buried behind my anger. Intertwined with it.” He hears Chloe’s quiet gasp, but his attention is fully on the young woman in front of him, on her tear filled eyes. His eyes.
“So you think?” Rory’s voice breaks mid sentence.
“I do.” Lucifer nods.
“Well, it’s not like I’ve anything to lose,” she tries to joke.
Eyebrows drawn together, Rory glances at Chloe before closing her eyes. The only sound around them is the ticking of the clock and the sound of his heart beating wildly in his ears. Fingers dig into his forearm and Lucifer feels the anxiety and anguish radiating from Chloe in waves. For a long moment nothing happens.
And then Rory’s shoulders start to shake. She makes a broken noise inside her throat and tears slide down her cheeks despite her tightly shut eyelids.
He wants nothing more than to gather her in his arms. To tell her that it’s going to be okay. To take away all the pain she’s ever felt. But he can’t. There’s nothing he can do and the powerlessness of the situation is killing him.
Chloe’s hands tighten enough to hurt him, and he knows she feels the same way.
Rory whimpers again, and the sound of her, so lost and heartbroken, will stay with him forever. She gasps for air and he almost stops her, surely there’s another way. Maybe Amenadiel can do something when he settles into all of the omnis.
But then they see it. This glow originating somewhere around Rory’s midriff, somewhere inside of her, getting brighter and brighter with every second, as the choked noises coming from their daughter turn into sobs.
Chloe gasps when the tendrils of light suddenly appear, swirling around Rory faster and faster. Lucifer instinctively stretches out his arm in front of Chloe, keeping her from coming closer.
With a sharp intake of breath, Rory opens her eyes. Grief stricken and terrified, she looks down at her glowing hands. The very air around her seems to be crackling with electricity, and she laughs. “I think it worked!”
Forgetting all precautions, Lucifer takes a step forward, Chloe following him. “Rory,” they both say in unison.
Eyes shining with tears, Rory holds out her hands, stopping them. “No, don’t touch me! I don’t want to accidentally pull you along with me.”
“Rory,” Chloe says again, the name packed with anguish and regret and love.
“No, Mom, don’t, it’s okay. But we don’t have much time,” Rory interrupts her. She glows bright like a star, one that he created with the woman he loves more than anything in this universe. She looks like she’s about to go supernova. “Dad.” Their eyes lock, and his heart squeezes at her pleading tone. “Please,” she begs, “please, you have to stay. You have to find a way to be there for Mom.” She looks at Chloe, at her still flat belly, and then back at him. “You have to be there for her. Promise me, Dad.”
“I will,” he says, the easiest promise he’s ever given. He’ll move heaven and hell if he has to. “I promise.”
Rory laughs again, her smile almost eclipsing the glow that’s about to take her away from them. “Oh, you should probably keep in mind that I’m mildly allergic to peanuts,'' she says hurriedly. “And let me have a dog this time, I know I can take care of it. And don’t let Maze show me Die Hard when I turn six, just trust me on that. And just please, have a great life. Mom, Dad, I lo-”
The light envelops her completely and then she's gone.
As if she were never here.
In the silence of the penthouse, Lucifer wraps his arms around Chloe's shoulders and pulls her closer, cradling her head against his chest, as they try to process what just happened.
Tightening her arms around his back, Chloe whispers. “Do you think she’s okay?”
He wishes he knew. But maybe this is one of those things best left to guessing. “I hope so.”
They stay like this, holding each other, for a long moment. Chloe presses her nose to the hollow of his throat and he feels her every exhale. His hand rubs gentle circles on her back and another strokes her hair, finding and deftly untangling a few knots. He suspects it’ll take them a while to work through what just happened. And the three weeks before that. The impact Rory’s unexpected visit has had, or will have, on their little family.
Something occurs to him then. “Chloe?”
She hums in response, keeping her eyes closed.
Lowering his head, Lucifer briefly presses his lips to her forehead. “How did we end up with a 5’3 tall child?”
There’s a pause where Chloe doesn’t move, but then she laughs. He’s helpless not to join her.
“Uh, my grandmother was rather short, though still taller than Rory.” Chloe pulls away, keeping her arms locked around his waist. “She’s the perfect height for hugs though.”
Leaning down, Lucifer rests his forehead on hers. “Then we should make sure to hug her as often as possible.”
“And we will.” She touches his stubble with her fingers. “We can do this, Lucifer. We’re partners.”
“Until the very end,” he says seriously.
Cupping the back on his neck, Chloe gently pulls his head closer. “Damn right,” she whispers against his lips.
He couldn’t agree more.