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Fox loved Rex in a way that's hard to explain. It began as overprotectiveness as cadets, it blossomed into something made out of pride and happiness. Fox's love for Rex was made out of longing and bitterness, a sliver of hope while Fox was chained down to a city of smoke and chatter and constant white noise while Rex remained in the constant silence of the Outer Rim. The quiet that filled a venator during hyperspace.
Fox loved Rex like it was something hopeful. Like the flowers that were so bright against the First Battle memorial that stood outside of Fox's prison. Like the way the stars twinkled above Fox's office a million miles away but so close that he could reach out to touch them.
Fox loved Rex like an aching wound that would never heal. Something that festered and something that stayed infested and inflamed. It was something that made his heart ache when he thought of the distance between him and Rex, a million parsecs away and a million more needed to travel.
Fox loved Rex like he loved caf. He needed nothing added, just Rex and his presence on the few rotations that Rex blessedly spent on Coruscant. Fox loved his caf dark and bitter, but sometimes he preferred a dash of sweetness to counteract the bitter. Just like how he prefered Rex over the dark, dreary and gloomy weather of Coruscant as it rained and droplets pitter-pattered against his visor.
Fox loved Rex in the same way he loved the smell of the spiced rum gifted to him by a Corellia senator with gratitude. It lingered on his nose and his tastebuds the same way Rex did when he spent the night. If lingered on Fox's pillow and his sheets, and on the spare set of blacks Rex wore during the rotations he stayed with Fox at Guard HQ.
Fox loved Rex like he loved the heturam when he had tiingilar from the one Mandalorian traders down near the Refinery. He loved the heturam as it made him feel alive. Rex made him feel like his entire body was on fire, heart beating faster than it ever had, even after Geonosis.
Fox loved Rex like he needed him to breathe, something so desperately ingrained into his lungs that it felt like air was being sucked out of them when news that the 501st were attacked hit the communication channels between him and other CO's.
Loving Rex was bright and electric, like watching fireworks fill the Coruscant night sky during. a celebration that Fox and the Guard had to supervise, but Fox also ached and missed him something fierce.
Fox needed Rex like he needed the end of the war.
Fox loved Rex, even more when Rex was warm in his arms. He indulgently pressed his nose the the back of Rex's head as his riduur snored, his face half smushed info the pillow of Fox's bunk. It was the only time Fox ever bothered to use his officer's quarters for himself, when Rex needed his own space on leave, away from the rest of Torrent and the Guard. Rex smelt like the half-decent quality bar soaps that Fox bought for him, it smelt of something distinctly Rex and and something spiced.
It was good, the smell lingered on Fox's nose and reminded him that they were both alive.
Fox tightened his arm around Rex's waist and bent his knee where his legs were tangled with Rex's to drape himself closer over Rex's back. Rex barely shifted against his chest, still exhausted from Torrent's last campaign in the Outer Rim. The chrono on the wall said that it was far too early for him to be waking Rex, so Fox brushed his lips gently on the back of Rex's skull and adjusted his arm around Rex's waist so it was more comfortable for him to lay, awake.
Fox loved Rex like this, pretending that this was their everyday life, with cheap soap and a bed for the two of them, and the blissful, quiet moments where they could pretend that there was no war and only the two of them to exist. He blinked, his face still pressed against Rex's skin. His lashes just vary brushed Rex's skin.
Though it was dark, Fox could make out the small dip in Rex's ear where a vibroblade clipped him sometime between the first month of the war and his first visit back to Coruscant. Fox brushed his fingers gently over Rex's bare stomach, over a barely rhere layer of fat that Rex needed to protect his organs.
Fox simply filed away the thought that Rex needed to eat more and decided he would pack a couple more ration orders for Torrent while he had the chance, (while rex and torrent were still alive to make use of them). He would do one for Cody too, and Bly. He knew General Plo Koon was already sending in ration requisition forms for Wolffe and his vode in the 104th
He must've been thinking far too loudly because Rex shifted in his arms, tensing up for a moment, and then the latter turned over with a low and quiet, unintelligible grumble and he buried his face into Fox's chest. Rex untangled their legs and threw a leg over Fox's hip, then as quick as he had woken, his breathing evened out and he went back to snoring softly.
Fox loved Rex so painfully his heart ached whenever he took in Rex's honey-brown eyes framed by pretty lashes. When Rex's roots were just barely showing and his hair needed a shave. When Rex's nose pressed against one of Fox's pecs and Fox could feel his breath puffing softly against his chest with each snore. When Fox could wrap around broad and steady shoulders, where Rex was written and shaped by the battles he fought.
Fox's hand trailed up and down the bumps of Rex's spine, and told himself he would take Rex to Dex's for something to eat when midmeal rolled around. The senate could run itself for half a day without Fox fixing every mess that popped up. Thorn owed him enough favours.
Fox's fingers found another scar on Rex's back, one he wasn't so familiar with him and he slowed his breathing just a little more, to push his feelings just a little bit deeper because he knew Rex was more than capable of handling it, himself.
One last final glance over at the chrono, Fox hugged Rex closer to his chest and kissed the top of his head where he could reach and allowed sleep to take him.
The first time Rex figured out how he loved Fox it was a slow gradual thing. It had started with Fox, not even paying the slightest attention to him, too preoccupied with shaving Bly's hair short so that the slightly-lighter-than-black brown wasn't as noticeable to the Kaminiise looking to decommission them for being muties. It was the simple action of Fox going out of his way, with a dull knife in hand, painstakingly shaving them without cutting them, that had Rex falling.
Rex loved Fox, something desperate and deep. Fox was a constant in his life and then he wasn't, and then Rex was constantly surrounded by blaster fire and he no longer had his older brothers guiding him through his feats, and he no longer had Fox hovering in his peripheral.
Rex loved Fox like he loved the hard candies that General Skywalker brought back to the curiser after he met up with Senator Amidala for a 'rendezvous'. Rex always picked the red ones, because they tasted like the memory Rex had of Fox's lips. Maybe Fox had them too, maybe he popped one into his mouth before he got to kiss Rex a goodbye because he knew Rex would associate the sweet taste of berries with Fox forever.
Rex loved Fox like the way sweet drinks at 79s clung to your mouth and stained your lips and tongue. Colouring would leave your lips and tongue painted in whatever colour you wished, and the taste remained sometimes long after your trip to 79s had ended, the same way the taste of Fox lingered long after the Resolute had entered hyperspace and Rex touched his lips with a moment of quiet and wished Fox well as he was moving further and further away from Coruscant.
Rex loved Fox like a river carving its way through the Earth. It's path was inevitable, as was Rex's path back to Fox when the 501st was miraculously granted leave and allowed to Coruscant. Plenty stood in his path, but like the rushing water, Rex was able to flow right through Fox's office doors and into his arms where Fox was waiting.
Rex loved Fox in a way that was simple. The pieces fit together like a puzzle with only two pieces. Where there was Fox, there was Rex, even parsecs apart. Rex loved Fox on a way that he knew they were made for each other. It was written in the way they fit, where they tempered one another, Fox's calm indifference and Rex's fiery temper.
Rex loved Fox in a way that felt eternal. It felt like Fox was a never-ending well and Rex was willing and ready to drown in it. The finality of loving Fox was a welcome want.
Rex loved Fox in a way that made him feel safe again. It was like stepping out of a storm into a warm hearth, escaping the frontlines to return to Coruscant and Fox's arm felt like home to Rex when everything else, his quarters, his clothes, his hands and mind were infested with dirt and riddled with the stench of death.
Loving Fox was bitter and wistful as Rex endured blaster fire, but it was also hopeful and beautiful when he got to come back to Fox's arm at the end of a long campaign.
Rex loved Fox like he needed to win the war.
Rex loved Fox the same way he woke up, his senses coming back to him slowly, one by one, before they all came online at roughly the same time once his brain registered each sensation. His face was smushed into Fox's chest, Fox who's breathing was steady and calm for the first time since Rex had come home. Rex felt an arm around his waist, atop his own arm that was slung around Fox's hip. Fox had all but encouraged Rex to use his chest as a pillow by how close they were pressed together. Rex blinked, eyelashes faintly brushing against Fox's chest.
Rex took a deep breath and stretched in Fox's grip, his riduur was asleep, somehow, mouth slightly parted, breathing steady. The chrono on the wall in Rex's peripheral indicated they only had a couple of hours left of indulgence with one another. Rex lifted his eyes to Fox's face, frown lines a lot less prominent when he was asleep. Rex reached up slowly with a tilt of his head and placed the gentlest of kisses on Fox's parted lips, and then rested his head on their shared pillow and nudged their foreheads together as carefully as he could without waking Fox.
Rex loved the moments where Fox didn't look stressed out of his mind, and most of those moments had involved them wrapped up in one another, where Fox could let go and be free of the burdens that the shouldered when he ran the Guard and practically half the senate though it was not in his job description..
Rex loved Fox so much he wished he had a way to help the Guard with their duties. He made a note to try and speak to General Skywalker, see if there was something they could do for Fox's, and essentially, Rex's aliit. He would do it silently of course, under the radar so that when Fox heard word of it the plan would already be in action and he wouldn't get his hopes up.
A fast asleep Fox was one of Rex's favourites, less stiff and overall more peaceful, something Rex could watch for hours if the sight of Fox resting didn't draw his mind back in to a sleepy, relaxed state. He allowed his forehead to gently rest against Fox's and he allowed himself to sink back into the mattress of Fox's bunk.
They had plenty of time to exchange words in the morning, for now, Rex would love Fox as wholeheartedly as he did when he fell asleep the evening before.