Work Text:
November 1995
“Stay tuned for more on this special broadcast of the 69th annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!”
Bobby’s eyes blinked open in time to see the Big Bird float fly by on Rose and Ray’s old television set. He sat up, rubbing his eyes as the quilt he had been sleeping under since staying with the two fell off of him. Ray was sitting in a tattered, yard-sale purchased, armchair eating Cheerios in his boxers and a L.A. Angels t-shirt.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” Ray greeted through a mouthful of cereal.
Grunting in response, Bobby threw himself back down onto the sofa and rolled over. If the parade was still on that meant it was before noon, which meant he had no reason to be up yet. The pizza place he had been working at was closed on Thanksgiving so he had no job to go to and other than maybe catch up on some reading and force himself to go for a walk he had no plans for his day off.
He could smell oregano from the kitchen. Vaguely, he had understood Thanksgiving was a thing that was coming up, a fact that he had forgotten on and off over the past week even though he knew he had today off. He vaguely remembered Rose asking if he would be here for dinner tonight. The parade came back on as Bobby heard Ray slurp up the rest of his cereal, and Bobby groaned, knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep once he was conscious of the noise. Not that sleep came much easier in silence.
“Is Rose cooking a turkey?” Bobby mumbled into his pillow.
“Yup.”
“…does Rose have any idea how to cook a turkey?”
“Nope. I was told to stay out of the kitchen because Rosa 'knows what she’s doing and she doesn’t need a man to show her how to cook meat’.”
Bobby snorted as he rolled back over and stared at the parade. None of it meant anything to him. This holiday didn’t mean anything to him, not that it meant much before the guys...
His family was part Filipino, part Canadian after all. Granted, back in the day when his American dad was still around they would have Thanksgiving dinner but ever since he bailed when Bobby was ten, the only time he celebrated was with the guys. And let’s be real, that was just for the food. He tried not to think of the Thanksgiving that Reggie had run away in the middle of the night before. They had stayed on the sofa all morning, watching the parade as Reggie made every effort to avoid talking about what happened at home. Bobby spent three hours watching him watch parades, and he couldn’t bring himself to force himself to ask anything, not when Reggie’s face was so lit up with happiness seeing all of the floats and marching bands. He had always hoped Sunset Curve would get to play NYC during the holidays just so he could see Reggie’s face when he saw the parades and décor.
“Ray!” Rose called in horror as the smoke detector went off.
All the panic alarms went off inside his mind as he leapt off the couch, following Ray into the kitchen. Smoke poured from the stove, making them all cough as Ray grabbed the oven mitt and pulled a half-burned turkey out. Bobby grabbed a dish towel, swatting at the smoke detector while Rose opened a window.
“I’m okay!” Rose promised as Ray checked on her. “I’m okay, it’s just the stupid damn bird.”
He and Ray exchanged glances, trying to not look too amused.
“I saw that!” Rose warned. “Fine, I will admit it, I can’t cook a fucking turkey. Sue me.”
Kicking the oven in frustration, Rose sank down to the floor as she buried her face in her hands.
“Part of it is okay!” Ray promised, poking a fork at the end that wasn’t burnt. That end was still mostly frozen. “Well…I think we still have some ham in the fridge?”
She groaned in frustration, and when the smoke detector went off again she simply flipped it off. Bobby jumped up on the counter, simply reaching up and snatching the bottom off of it to remove the battery. When the apartment was silent again they let out a breath as Bobby and Ray sank down on either side of Rose.
“It’s okay, mi amor,” Ray assured her. “It’s just a dinner. We never expected you to go through so much trouble in the first place.”
“Yeah,” Bobby agreed. “I didn’t think you guys were big Thanksgiving people.”
The couple looked at each other before looking back at him, wearing their familiar ‘feeling sorry for Bobby’ look. He pointed at himself.
“Wait, you weren’t going through all this trouble for me, were you?”
Rose hesitated and finally sighed, running a hand through her curls.
“You’re not with your family, cariño,” Rose said quietly. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he flinched. “So much has happened this year, I just…I wanted you to have a normal holiday.”
Bobby snorted.
“I haven’t cared about Thanksgiving since I was ten, before my dad left,” he admitted. Their eyes both widened with surprise; Bobby had never told them about his dad. “My mom usually took her PTO days and went on vacation with my brothers. I stayed at home and usually stayed with one of the guys, until last year…”
He stopped short, hit right in the chest with a fierce memory of the guys sitting around Bobby’s kitchen table, no parents around, sitting down to their very own Thanksgiving dinner. Something clinched in his chest and a familiar panic sank through him that was usually impossible to escape from. He breathed in and out slowly, clenching his hands into fist; this time he didn’t budge when Rose placed a hand on his shoulder.
“What happened last year?” She asked gently.
He let out a shaky breath.
“The guys were all…they were going through it at home,” he told them. It never felt right to talk about their lives, even if they weren’t actually hear to know he talked about them. He didn’t want to risk them being judged when they couldn’t speak for themselves. “Since my mom left with my brothers, the guys all stayed over. We didn’t plan to cook anything, but Luke’s boss sent him home with a bunch of leftover turkey that he brought over. He worked at this diner, as a busboy. Luke and Reggie liked to cook and Alex liked to bake, so next thing I knew all the cabinets were open and it was like everything in the damn house was cooked. We had a feast. The guys were all so, so proud of themselves.”
A faint smile crossed his face and suddenly, the pain felt a little less suffocating. He noticed Ray and Rose’s eyes lit up.
“What?” He demanded.
“We’ve never seen you smile before,” Ray admitted.
Bobby froze, realizing that Ray was probably right. Rose wrapped her arm around him while he lay his head on Ray’s shoulder, feeling oddly winded.
“I…it’s…it’s so hard to remember them, without reliving everything,” Bobby whispered. “Even the good memories hurt so damn much.”
“I know, mi amor,” Rose whispered back as she rubbed circles on his back.
“Maybe it can help, to talk about the good memories,” Ray pointed out.
“I miss them so fucking much.”
He breathed in and out sharply, hugging himself, but still it was strange; it was like his head was staying above water. He had never gotten this far before when talking or thinking about the guys.
“We’re not trying to replace them, you know that right?” Rose stated quietly, and Bobby nodded. “We just want you to feel at home, Bobby. I know home doesn’t mean much to you right now, but we want you to at least feel safe.”
He sank back into their arms, letting them hold him through it. A memory flashed in his head of Reggie, digging into a whole plateful of the mashed potatoes and mac and cheese that he had successfully made himself and Alex gushing over baking a pumpkin pie for the first time ever. They had all looked so safe, so happy, so at home, and he had felt so much pride in being able to give them that, if not just for one night.
“Reggie loved the Macy’s Parade,” Bobby spoke up, laughing a little at that memory. “I used to watch it with him sometimes.”
“Was it too much, having the parade on?” Ray asked quickly.
Bobby shook his head.
“No…no, I think it could be good. I could like…watch it for him.”
“Yeah,” Rose smiled, pulling him into a hug. “We could do that.”
“How about we scrap the bird, fix all the carbs later and go watch the rest of the parade?” Ray offered.
Attempting a smile, Bobby nodded and let them help him up. He didn’t shy away when Ray moved to hug him- one thing was for sure, Rose and Ray were just as touchy feely as the guys were, and it was kind of nice. Bobby let them lead him back to the living room, let Rose lift the quilt so they could both sit down and drape it over the three of them. He watched the rest of the parade, the whole time imagining Reggie sitting over in Ray’s armchair, smiling and laughing along with them.
As much as it hurt, it was also comforting. For the first time, Bobby felt like the guys were there with him instead of feeling like he was hiding from their spirits with shame, with guilt. Later that evening, Rose made some plantains, rice and peas while Bobby made some mac and cheese and Ray roasted some vegetables and broke out the deli ham he usually used for his sandwiches for work. Bobby helped Rose set the table and stopped when she handed him three extra sets of plates to sit down. Their eyes met and again, there was that familiar tightening of his chest, but instead of breaking down he offered a small smile again and helped her set the places for the spirits of his three friends. That night would be the first time Bobby would learn about the importance of honoring the friends he had lost and not just grieving them and for that, he was thankful.
November 2021
Twenty-six years later Trevor Wilson opened the oven to check on the turkey once again.
“It’s okay, mi amor. Stop stalking the bird.”
A smile played across his lips as he turned to find his boyfriend lingering behind him, wearing his “Best flipping dad ever” apron. The stovetop was littered with pots and pans while the kitchen island was full of cookware. There was a buzz from the dining room as everyone began to gather and get ready to eat. That morning, he had watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade with Reggie for the first time in twenty-seven years and he spent that afternoon having his three old friends help in the kitchen. Alex made his pumpkin pie again (Willie claimed they helped by taking it out of the oven and also licking the mixing bowl) while Luke and Reggie mostly ate all of the cheese in his house while trying to make macaroni and cheese. Trevor and Carrie meanwhile made a vegan mac and cheese for Alex to enjoy, and Tia had made a couple of Rose’s old favorite Puerto Rican dishes and desserts. Julie, Flynn, Carlos and even Nick were all there, Nick and Flynn were over before their family’s big dinner.
“I was just making sure it’s okay,” Trevor insisted.
“And?”
“It’s still okay. Just like it was five minutes ago. It’s the first time I’ve ever cooked a turkey, okay, give me a break.”
Ray chuckled as he pulled Trevor close and stole a kiss that sent a warm flame through his chest.
“I told you I can help,” Ray pointed out, smiling against his lips.
“And I told you that I have it covered. It’s almost ready if you want to round up all the children.”
“Seriously, Reggie, that’s like the third roll you’ve eaten already!” Julie exclaimed from the dining room.
“I think we better feed them,” Ray teased.
The oven went off at that moment, and Trevor beamed as he successfully took out his turkey and he and Ray carried the rest of the food into the dining room, where their new found family waited them. The last year had been a huge adjustment period for sure, what with exploring his new relationship with Ray and having his three dead friends come back to life. Many times everything felt so overwhelming that the old drowning feeling he used to experience threatened to return, but with so many people around him, loving and supporting each other through it, he always could find the strength to know it would be okay.
“Okay, okay!” Trevor announced over all of the chatter.
He and Ray stood at the head of the table, Trevor wielding the carving knife. Everyone looked up at him, and while Trevor always cherished the holidays he had with his family he still did a double take seeing Reggie, Luke and Alex grinned back up at him. Already he was starting to choke up.
“Oh man, he’s about to cry already,” Alex teased.
“Am not!” Trevor shot playfully.
“Really?” Ray asked as he sniffled. “Cause I am.”
Trevor placed a hand on his shoulder as he smiled as his partner, reminding him he was there for him. He knew Ray was missing Rose today- so was Trevor, frankly. But they tried to their best to remember what they learned years ago, about honoring those they had lost.
Therefore, an empty place was set tonight for Rose.
Everyone gazed back at him, and though Trevor had made many, many speeches in his life none seemed to shake him as much as whatever he needed to say right now.
“I can’t put into words how thankful I am for all that we have,” Trevor spoke up. “I know that we all have people we miss and it’s an impossible pain…”
He placed an arm around Ray, whose eyes fell to the ground and he noticed out the corner of his eye Reggie and Luke both holding hands with Julie.
“One important thing I’ve learned in life is honoring those that we have lost and being thankful for what we have,” Trevor went on. “This past year has shown me that so, so many miracles are possible. I know there’s not much rhyme or reason and sometimes that hurts…”
Squeezing Ray’s hand, Trevor stole a glance to his partner, who was clearly trying his best to keep it together. Even though they were in a steady, comfortable, place in their new relationship, there were still nights when Ray, very understandably, woke up in a shaky, cold sweat, in tears over Rose. He knew that deep down, Ray still didn’t understand how it was possible for some people to come back and not others and frankly, neither did Trevor. All they could do was allow themselves those moments to grieve, to acknowledge that it wasn’t fair, that they didn’t understand. Then in the mornings they woke up, fed the kids and tried to help the former phantoms through their second chance at life as much as they could. It was an odd balance they had found, between grief and gratitude, but they tried their best to help each other through it.
“If anyone wants to say what they’re thankful for it’s okay,” Trevor went on, choking up a bit, “but I think we all know that we could spend all day talking about gratitude in this family so…for the sake of time, I say let’s eat!”
Ray squeezed his hand in return, offering him a small smile and a kiss on the cheek. The kids all smiled, while Tia Victoria had tears in her eyes, looking appreciative for Rose to be remembered today.
“I…I wanna say something,” Willie spoke up. Alex grabbed their hand, nodding in encouragement. “I…I never really…I never really had a family, or safety, or…any of that. I didn’t know that was for me. But…it is. I love this. And just…thank you, thank you so much for all everyone here has given me.”
Alex squeezed their hand and hugged them.
“I’m thankful for you,” Alex whispered to him as he held them. "And also vegan mac and cheese. It is so much easier to be lactose intolerant these days."
Willie snorted, and even Trevor let out a small laugh as he watched his old friend hug his boyfriend, feeling nothing but happiness for him.
“I’m thankful to have music back,” Julie announced, “and for realizing that love knows no bounds.”
She stole a kiss to each of her boyfriends' cheeks; Trevor chuckled as Luke and Reggie both blushed.
“I’m thankful for people who understand me,” Nick admitted from across the table. "It finally has found like I've found my place in the world."
Nick had come so far this past year since Caleb’s possession, him and Ray and Willie all had with each other’s help, and Trevor couldn’t have been prouder of them.
“And I’m thankful for forgiveness,” Carrie declared before kissing Flynn’s cheek. “Yes, I’m aware that’s super cheesy."
“Actually, I think it would make a great lyric,” Flynn teased. She tilted her head so that she kissed Carrie full-on the lips, earning a cheer from Julie. As she pulled away, she grinned as she murmured: “I’m thankful for old friends and new friends.”
Rolling his eyes at the kiss, Carlos licked his lips as his eyes fell to his plate and declared:
“I’m thankful that Trevor has taught dad to cook."
Ray let out a sarcastic laugh as Trevor snaked a hand around his back. Everyone turned to Reggie and Luke, who both reached out for each other’s hands, but for all the googly eyes they were making, all they declared was:
“I’m thankful for turkey!” Reggie cheered.
“And mashed potatoes!” Luke chimed in. “And eating food again! Oh also…being alive."
“Yes, that too!” Reggie quickly agreed.
“Me three!” Alex echoed.
“Me four!” Willie declared.
“And I’m thankful to be able to tell everyone that I have six wonderful kids,” Ray announced, earning dramatic groans from Julie, Carlos, and all the former phantoms. He smiled at them all anyway, his eyes lingering on Reggie as the two exchanged a look of understanding, trying to convey how grateful they were for their new father-son relationship. “Plus three ‘they’re basically mine’ kids. And a wonderful partner to help me through it.”
Flynn, Carrie, and Nick all laughed, and Trevor couldn’t help himself but to turn to Ray and capture him in a soft kiss. Tia Victoria cleared her throat, and Ray blushed.
“Oh, yeah, and an amazing sister in law,” he added quickly.
She rolled her eyes.
“Si si si,” she teased sarcastically, “I’m thankful for you too.”
Trevor knew there was no question that Ray loved Victoria like she was his own sister, and the two exchanged smiles, reminding each other of this.
“Okay, so now that we’re all thankful for everyone and all the food and life itself…can we eat?” Alex asked.
“Yeah,” Trevor grinned, “we can eat.”
In a flurry of movement the food seemed to all disappear at once as Ray and Trevor watched on, half amused, half in horror. Shaking his head, Trevor began to call out for requests for different parts of the turkey while Ray helped around the table.
“No, no Reggie, no more rolls!” Julie warned. “I am cutting you off!"
“Babes, try these roast veggies, I helped with them!” Luke bragged as he handed the bowl of veggies to Julie and Reggie.
“He poured the olive oil over them,” Alex rolled his eyes.
Trevor couldn’t help but to smile like an idiot as he watched his old friends, thinking of all of the holidays he spend mourning them. Ray kissed his shoulder, reminding him he was there.
“Sit, mi amor,” Ray told him, “you’ve done plenty. Get some food before the gremlins eat it all.”
Later that Thanksgiving night, he and Ray sat outside holding mugs of hot chocolate and wrapped in blankets as they listened to Christmas jazz music on Trevor’s phone. Back in the house the kids all slept, passed out in their beds or on the sofa. Victoria went over to her girlfriend’s families house and finally, Trevor was able to steal a moment alone again with his boyfriend.
“Hey,” Trevor called in the still night air, making Ray look over to him. Their eyes met and he smiled. “I’m thankful for you. For another chance, for your love, your kindness, your family, your...everything.”
Ray offered him a firm smile, as though he couldn’t quite believe he was worthy of so much gratitude.
“And I’m thankful for you,” Ray murmured back. “I couldn’t have made it through this last year without you.”
They reached out for each other’s hands, smiling as they held onto each other and cozied up in the blanket that covered them in the chilly night air.
“You were right, you know,” Ray spoke up, smirking at him, “Alex makes a really good pumpkin pie. What do you think he puts in it?”
Trevor shrugged as he took another sip of his hot chocolate.
“Damned if I know. I swear, it’s like magic."
Their eyes both met as they remembered the sheer amount of magic the boys all had as ghosts. None of that had shown up in them as undead kids, but then again, how much did their kids voluntarily tell them anyway?
“You don’t think…”
“Nah,” Trevor shook his head. “No way.”
The playlist on his phone switched to a gentle version of “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” and Trevor’s heart fluttered as thought of what Christmas was going to be like for all of them this year. He had spent so many Christmases alone, miserable, hopeless. Christmas was usually just the anniversary of when Rose and Ray first took him to the rehab center where he first got clean. Until he had custody of Carrie, it had stopped being anything special.
“Ray,” Trevor spoke up again, his voice shaking as he caught his partner’s attention. “I’m so thankful for you, really. You have no idea how much you saved me-"
Ray cut him off by capturing him in a sweet kiss. He held on for dear life, taking Ray’s hand as they kissed in the still moonlight, with the music playing around them.
“You saved me too,” Ray murmured when they broke apart.
Trevor scooted closer to his boyfriend, letting Ray place an arm around him and dropping his head to his shoulder. He wasn’t sure what he had ever done to deserve so much strength, so much love in his life but for that, he was truly thankful.