Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

How can something go so wrong so fast?

Their hunting trip for Bison was going smoothly. He had learned more about Charles, had impressed the man by taking down the Bison cleanly.

As he hefted the pelt onto his horse he could only think how much he was enjoying himself.

He should have known it wouldn’t last.

He could only sigh as he finished looting the poacher's camp, hoping Charles was okay, wherever he went.

He and Charles had only become closer since Colter.

At first, it was friends but something else was there too.

Neither had spoken of it, nothing past lingering touches, knowing looks, sitting maybe a little too close or going out of their way for the other.

Arthur could feel the fluttering in his chest, a feeling he hadn’t felt in so long and was afraid of.

Because he knew what it could turn into.

How the swelling of his heart could turn into a squeezing. How the sensation of his breath being taken away could go from joy to utter pain.

It’s happened to him twice. He doesn’t want that again.

But when he gets a rare smile or even rarer laugh. When he is trusted with the past of this man, who is an enigma to the rest. He can’t help but stick around. To listen with rapture.

He is brought of out his thoughts as he spots Taima, Charles not too far away, standing in front of a small incline, leading down and across a plain. Just staring.

He stops, he knows Charles said he wanted to be alone but he doesn’t think he can bring himself to go past.

So he dismounts, approaching slowly, making sure to keep his footsteps light but noticeable.

There’s no reaction from the man. His shoulders are tense, his fists clenched. He stops a few feet away.

The silence is suffocating. “Charles?” There’s still no reaction. Arthur waits. He can see the trembling of Charles's hands like he’s still angry.

“Leave.” It’s quiet, Arthur almost doesn’t hear it. He shifts his weight back a forth, “I don’t like the thought of you bein’ alone right now.”

Charles's head turns slightly, not even enough to see his face past his hair. “Well, I don’t want you here.”

The words are like knives. It’s as if Charles has reached into his chest and crushed his heart.

Despite that, he can hear it beating wildly. His breath feels short, his eyes stinging.

“Okay.” It comes out as a breath, he nods, just wanting to get away as soon as possible. “I’ll, uh, see you at camp.”

He turns, pulling himself into the saddle quickly, pushing his horse into a trot. He’s down the road before he pulls her to slow.

He takes a gasping breath, squeezing his eyes shut.

He should have known.

Shouldn’t have been so stupid as to think someone like Charles would see him that way.

He looks at the entrance to the camp for a moment, before continuing past it. He doesn’t want to see people right now. He keeps on going, letting his horse lead the way.

Chapter Text

Charles waits until the hooves disappear. He falls to his knees, a wrenching sob breaking free.

He shudders, his entire body trembling. He wraps his arms around himself, digging his hands into his sides.

It was all too much. The bison, the memories, what they represented, what he had lost and what those poachers were trying to take from him. From all of them.

He can barely do more than let it come, his face a mess of tears. He can’t remember the last time he cried, especially like this.

He feels a presence, a soft burr telling him it’s Taima. He feels her lay down next to him, nosing at his head. He collapses on her side, rubbing his fingers over her fur.

He nuzzles into her side, his sobs quieting as he falls asleep.

He wakes slowly. His eyes are sore and crusted, tears dry on his face. He’s sore from how he slept.

He moves carefully, stretching as he does. Taima noses at him as he does. He pets her nose. “Thank you.”

He spots a small body of water not too far away. He decides to walk, Taima following.

When they arrive he starts undoing her tack. As he does he runs through what happens. As much as he doesn’t want to think about it, he knew he was angry and might have done something regrettable.

He feels slight regret at killing that man but it doesn’t linger. Though he is glad Arthur let the other go.

His hands stop suddenly as he remembers. Arthur. He had stopped to check on him.

Oh no.

He was just concerned. Didn’t want him to be alone.

‘Well, I don’t want you around.’

That couldn’t be further from the truth. He did. He had wanted to run to Arthur. To collapse into arms. To sob until he couldn’t anymore, to let himself be comforted.

But they weren’t there yet and Arthur had already seen him angry. He didn’t need to see him break down.

He could feel the tears starting again. He hadn’t intended for it to come out like that.

He knows about Arthur’s past. He had been rewarded with the man opening up during one of their hunting trips.

He knows what his words would have done. How does he fix that? He spends a while thinking.

Arthur shows he cares through actions. So he’ll do the same.

He’ll get Arthur something, not something superficial. Something he needs, would use. Apologize, sincerely. Explain he didn’t mean it, why he said it. Be honest. Then keep showing him he really didn’t mean it.

So he made his way to Valentine, to the general store. He picks up a nice pack of pencils, knowing Arthur’s is nearly a stub. Grabs a chocolate bar, Arthur has a hidden sweet tooth.

He then makes his way to the stables, Arthur had mentioned he needed a new brush. His new horse, an Arabian, needed a different brush. A softer one than the one he had. So Charles gets the brush, placing them all in a small box.

He’s securing the package in his saddlebags when he hears his name. He turns to see Lenny coming towards him. “Hey!” He nods in return. “Everything okay?”

He turns to Lenny with a confused look. The kid looks embarrassed before answering. “It’s just, I know you and Arthur when huntin’ together. Neither of you came back to camp, which isn’t odd but then Javier comes back with this bison pelt and stuff and said he ran into Arthur, who asked him to take it back for him. He said Arthur seemed distracted like somethin’ was botherin’ him. Then I see you here.”

How does he explain? He can’t. So he lies. “I’m not sure. He said he was going back to camp. Did Javier say where he saw him?”

“Yeah, he was headin’ towards Cumberland Forest. More towards the Dakota River.” Charles nods. “Alright, I’ll go see if I can find him.”

Lenny looks pleased, clapping him on the shoulder. “Thanks.” He nods, mounting Taima and pointing her in the direction he was told.

He has to go further, Arthur having moved. But he finally finds the man, picking what appears to be yarrow.

He dismounts quietly. Pulling the package from his saddlebag. He stops a few feet away, much like Arthur had to him.

Arthur looks up, surprise flitting across his face before it disappears, his face becoming impassive.

Charles steps forward, he can’t even look Arthur in the eye. He holds out the box. He breathes a sigh of relief when Arthur takes it.

He watches as Arthur opens it. The surprise, the studying of each content. The softening of his features. He looks to Charles in confusion.

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out, not giving Arthur a chance to do more than blink, “ I didn’t mean it. I was about to lose the rest of my composure. And I was embarrassed, didn’t want you to see me like that and I lashed out at you. I’m so sorry.”

He can feel tears stinging at his eyes again, this time at the thought of Arthur hating him. For a moment neither moves, then Arthur sets the box on the ground, Charles can feel his heart sinking.

Arthur straightens, stepping closer to Charles and pulling him into a fierce hug. Charles clings to him, sobs stuttering in his chest again. His face is pressed into Arthur’s shoulder, voice coming out muffled, “I was afraid I had lost you.”

He feels Arthur’s arms tighten. “You came lookin’ for me. Just to apologize.” Charles nods, “Doesn’t mean you would forgive me.” Arthur chuckles, “How could I not with an apology like that?”

Charles chuckles as well, feeling the rest of the tension leave his body. They finally pull away, though reluctantly. Charles wipes at his face, though notices Arthur’s eyes are also red. Charles feels his chest swelling, the feelings he has for this man too many to name.

He doesn’t think; just acts. He cups Arthur’s face in his hands, bringing them chest to chest. They lock eyes, an unspoken question passing between them.

It’s answered when he feels Arthur’s hands settle on his hips. He doesn’t waste any more time, pressing their lips together. It’s soft at first, just a press. Then it deepens, lips parting. They explore each other’s mouths, their bodies pressed together.

When they pull away it’s only by a hairsbreadth, their breaths mingling. Arthur’s hands are on his waist, one under his shirt pressed against his skin, the other clutching his belt. One of Charles's hands is in Arthur’s hair, the other still on his face. Their foreheads rest together as they enjoy each other’s presence.

It had been a long time coming but it was worth the wait.