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You're too young to go to prison, Keiji. What would your mother say? You'd be the first person in your family arrested for a serious crime- oh, no, wait there was Uncle Kazuki who got arrested for stealing a car he didn't actually steal, and, wait there was also Mom's Uncle Hiroto who murdered his first wife, and... Wait, no, don't get distracted here!
Keiji's internal monologue is five minutes in progress at this point.
Akaashi Keiji is pissed.
He'd like to think that he had gotten the premise that Bokuto Koutarou was taken and in a very committed monogamous relationship well across the minds of the Fukurodani student body; but that's only what he would like to think. In actuality, no one had paid a semblance of attention to his and Koutarou's changing body language, and when they did they thought, "What cute best friends!"
It wasn't really the girl's fault that she didn't know that Koutarou was in a relationship, but it was most definitely her fault for crossing over into his personal space and breathing down his fucking neck. Keiji could understand if it was basic flirting (Koutarou was a tad oblivious to it so it didn't really mind him all that much), but this girl was crossing the line.
This whole thing had started the last Friday, after-school, when a group of Bokuto's underclassmen approached him while he was debating Washio (Keiji was the referee) over the importance of bow-tie pasta shapes. The girl had stood out to Keiji in the worst possible way- a predatory smile with too much teeth, the twirling of the hair in spaghetti finger motions, and the giggle (good GOD, if he had to hear that faux giggle one more time, he would scrap her vocal cords out from their roots). It had taken all of ten minutes for the other girls to walk off from Koutarou, all of them appreciating the conversation but having their own lives and schedules to adhere to. But not HER.
So, here he is, standing off to the side of the club room entrance, as she tries to hustle Bokuto-san. His Bokuto-san.
"Oh my god, that's so funny! What happened next?" Koutarou, his sweet, sweet, oblivious Koutarou, doesn't seem to pick up on the fact that she's not actually interested in his story about how Sarukui broke the club-room's window by role-playing as an owl. It was a great story, and just proves that this girl has no personality aside from flirting with oblivious straight-passing gay men.
"Well, Konoha- you know Konoha, right? Okay, so Konoha sees that Sarukui had broken the glass and he-" Keiji tunes it out. He had been there to see the aftermath for himself, listening to Bokuto's version would have little impact on the fact that he was feeling homicidal urges here.
"OYA OYA, 'KAASHI! I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE!!" Keiji has little time to collect himself before Bokuto-san is crushing his limbs in a hug with so much strength that it lifts him off the ground. "Were you waiting for me?" Koutarou places him down now and gives him that cute upper lip smile that makes Keiji swoon and fall a little further into the rabbit-hole that is Bokuto-san. Apparently, Bokuto doesn't need a response from Akaashi, as he dismisses the girl with a wave and a, "See you around!" and goes straight into cuddling into Akaashi's side and starting their trek home.
"KEIJIIIIII," Bokuto pleads, puppy dog eyes in full-effect as he sits on Keiji's bed for an improptu sleepover. "Will you please tell me why you're upset with me?"
"I'm not upset with you, Koutarou-san," Keiji responds as he continues to pull clothes out of his wardrobe for Koutarou to wear.
"Agh, you wound me, Keiji." Bokuto flops his back against the mattress, "You're obviously upset with me about something, you need to tell me what it is that I did to upset you. I'm missing my smiley Keiji right now." He then rolls onto his stomach, stuffing his face into Akaashi's large owl plushie, and faces Keiji.
Akaashi sighs. "I'm not upset at you, Bokuto-san."
This seems to confuse Bokuto, "HUH? Then who're you upset with Keiji? I'll beat them up for depriving me of my cuddles with happy Keiji!"
"I appreciate the enthusiasm Bokuto-san, but seeing as you're part of the reason I'm upset, it wouldn't be much of a consolation for you to beat someone up here."
Bokuto's confused again, "So.. I'm not who you're upset at but I'm the reason you're upset? That doesn't make sense, Keiji!"
Keiji turns to face him, "It's not you who's the reason I'm upset, it's my feelings for you." The moment it leaves his mouth it sounds wrong and he can see as Bokuto's face falls from confusion into one of a heartbreak not dissimilar to that of when they lost in the finals of the Spring Inter-high Nationals. "No, that came out wrong, I didn't mean it in that way. I'm still very much in love with you." Bokuto's frown eases slightly, but only slightly. "It's just that.. I'm upset because I'm jealous."
"You're jealous? Of who?" Keiji sighs so Koutarou takes this chance to climb off the bed and place Keiji's face in both of his palms as he kneels in front of him. "My Keiji is the prettiest person of all of Japan! Nobody compares!"
"Not even Oikawa Tooru?" Akaashi jokes, remembering the one time Bokuto had seen his picture in a volleyball magazine and Bokuto had nearly fainted at the sight. Keiji brings it up occasionally, in moments like these, to lighten the mood and tease his boyfriend.
"I said person, Keiji. Oikawa Tooru is not human." The smiles return to both of their faces at this.
"What is he then?" Keiji leans forward, with a teasing tone and sparkles in his eyes.
"An alien." Keiji bursts out into laughter- it's well known in the high-school volleyball circuit that Oikawa's a gigantic simp for aliens.
"But, seriously Keiji, you have no one to be jealous of. What happened?"
Keiji sighs, again. Damn, he has a bad habit of doing that, doesn't he? "It's that underclassmen girl that keeps flirting with you."
"Ide-chan?" Bokuto looks perplexed.
"You knew that she was flirting with you?" Keiji is astonished at this point. And a tad pissed at his boyfriend.
"I thought if I played oblivious then maybe she'd stop and lose interest eventually," Keiji is about to kill his boyfriend, "AND now that I know my sexy, hot, cute, and very beautiful boyfriend is NOT okay with that, I will no longer do that." Keiji's homicidal rage calms down.
"You fucking owe me for the anguish and murderous urges you've made me go through this last half-a-week." Akaashi stares into his soul, as though pressuring him into signing a deal with the devil.
Bokuto chuckles nervously, but still immediately replies with a sharp, "Yes, sir!".
The debt repayment, it turns out, isn't as scary as Bokuto thought it would be. And if being in debt means passionately making out with Akaashi in the middle of the court post-volleyball game with all of his suitors and the public of Japan watching, then, damn, does Bokuto want to be in debt to Akaashi Keiji for the rest of his life.