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Crowley was human. It wasn’t something he ever thought he would be again. It took a long time to be able to think that, without the onslaught of guilt that usually followed. The guilt was still there, the centuries of torture and deceit would cause anyone enough guilt to choke a horse. However, he was learning how to move past it and function again. Being human made moving on so much more important. He wouldn’t be able to spend the rest of his life living in regret.
The Winchesters had allowed him to stay in the bunker once the cure was complete. Dean had been worried that the cure would kill Sam, and if he were being honest so had Crowley. That was something he would not have been able to move on from. Luckily, he wouldn’t have had to. If Sam had died, Crowley would have been taken out by Dean shortly after. The fact that Sam was up and moving around now was something of a miracle even to Cas.
He was taking it for what it was though and calling this a win. He was dealing with his past and starting to look forward to the future. The Winchesters and Cas were finally not looking at him like a villain and had started including him in their activities. This had gone a long way in allowing him to quit wallowing in self pity. Spending time with Sam had been endearing. He had always had a soft spot for the giant puppy of a man, but it seemed to have grown now that he was spending more time with him.
They would have movie nights. Apparently, Dean took his and Cas’s lack of pop culture knowledge as a personal affront. He had known more than Cas, but now they were having class at least once a week so Dean could show them the ways of pop culture references. It hadn’t really been that bad. They would usually have a few drinks during the movies. This was when he realized his tolerance for alcohol had substantially dropped.
Before the cure he could drink as much as he pleased, it wouldn’t affect him unless he let it. Now, after only a few beers he was starting to slur his words and would usually cut himself off at this point. Tonight was different though. He didn’t want to stop drinking and slink off to his room. He wanted to join in with the lighthearted atmosphere.
It was a rare moment in the bunker, nothing bad was calling them away and nothing bad was going on inside the walls. The merry band of misfits were truly enjoying their night off. Even Cas seemed to be enjoying himself, even though his grace was wearing thin and there were still things they would have to worry about tomorrow, none of this seemed to be impeding their quest to have a good night.
Of course it was Dean who started the Karaoke. The man loved to sing, even if he would never admit to it out loud, or at least not when he was sober. Choice of song made a few laps around the group, each trying to pick lively and upbeat songs. It wasn’t like they didn’t realize Crowley was still having issues with guilt and Cas was still fighting a battle within himself. They wanted to keep the atmosphere light and enjoyable.
When it came time for Crowley’s third choice, he was well and truly sloshed, and from the looks of the others, they were as well. He thought it would be a good time to get everyone on their feet, or at least try to. His song was definitely not something he would have chosen had he, or any of their group for that matter, been sober. As ‘I’m sexy and I know it’ started to play there were groans from around the group, but it didn’t take long for the silly song to have the effect Crowley had desired.
The four men were dancing around the room using beer bottles as microphones and playing air guitar, just letting loose. When the chorus came on they all did the wiggle, wiggle, wiggle and then burst out in a fit of giggles. What had his life come to? At one point they had all been enemies, but here they were singing a silly song and just being comfortable in the same space as one another.
It was enough for Crowley to take a look inside himself and think about the guilt and hatred he had been fighting with for months. If these men could accept the things he had done and still trust him enough to let their guard down and goof off, then he should be able to accept them as well.
When the song came to an end, they all seemed to decide on a break from the singing to refill drinks and get more beer for those who chose that particular spirit. Once they were back in the lounge area, Crowley cleared his throat. “I would like to make a toast. I know I haven’t been the best friend to you lot, but you still took me in and gave me a chance when those I had been close with before would have hunted me down, now that I’m vulnerable.”
He started feeling the melancholy creep back up and decided he needed to get on with it so they could get back to their carefree ruckus. “I just wanted to say thank you and to make a toast to us. A very unlikely group of misfits, who are very different, yet all still have something in common. When the world turns its back on us, we come together. So here’s to us.”
The group all took a drink and even though the mood had definitely shifted, they were still able to enjoy the rest of their night. The group erupted in laughter again when Dean suggested that Cas sing ‘Angel is a Centerfold.’ Cas of course didn’t understand, but everyone else found it hilarious. These were the times of which Crowley looked forward to having many more. They would figure out Cas’s grace issue and together, they would face whatever was thrown at them.