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She didn’t mean to do it. She really, really didn’t.
It’s just that Fire Lord Hot Toddy really knew how to throw parties. And the drinks he managed to get into his bar? Outstanding. Zuko was really doing the Spirits’ work when it came to hosting his parties.
And she just- she stumbled across them. Realistically, it wasn’t her fault that she had bionic fucking hearing. And it also wasn’t her fault that she heard random yelling in the middle of a corridor. It certainly wasn’t her fault, either, that she happened to recognize the voices with which the yelling was being done as Sokka and Suki’s.
Not her fault. No siree.
She would blame Zuko. It was Zuko’s fault for telling her where to find the bar. And for telling her to not drink too much because he knew better than to tell Toph Beifong what to do, but he did it anyway. She’d blame him and call him a dumbass, even though she appreciated the gentle nudge toward the bar. Even if it was more of a steer-away than a nudge.
She couldn’t blame him for staying there and listening to the argument, though. That one was on her.
But it wasn’t like she could help it. Toph had always been a curious person; it came with the territory of not being allowed five inches from her parents as a child and also possessing the hearing of hawk. So when she heard her best friend in the whole wide world and his significant other engaging in a screaming match, could she really resist the urge she had of listening in on the whole of it?
He would tell her all about it later, anyhow, so really, what was the damage?
It had started when she’d had one too many shots of fire whiskey at the recommendation of the bartender she was already on a first-name basis with. She and Ju The Bartender were having a grand ole time talking about the manufacturing of metal and the bending of it all when she had to excuse herself to the lady’s room. Down the halls, she stumbled until she reached The Room Where It Happened.
“You have no idea what a strain this has had on our relationship, Suki,” shouted Sokka. His voice stopped her in her tracks when she heard it. She stood unmoving in the corridor, waiting for a response from Suki.
“You’re so- Spirits, you’re so selfish, Sokka!” Suki responded with just as much anger as Sokka had spoken to her with. Toph’s eyes widened as she slapped her hand against her mouth and she hid behind the wall that lead to where they were fighting, which was just around the corner.
Sokka scoffed, then. “I’m selfish? I’m selfish?”
“Yeah, you!”
“How am I the selfish one when you make no effort to come to see me? I come over here or over to Kyoshi every single time I have the chance to, and you have never come to see me. Never.”
“Because I have no time, Sokka! I don’t! My time is taken up by the Warriors and by my job here.”
“Are you- you’re saying you can’t make time for me. Is that what you’re saying right now?”
“And you’re asking me to stop doing what I love to upkeep this relationship.”
“That’s- I’m not doing that at all, Suki. I’m only asking for a compromise. I’m asking for you to show me that you love me like you say you do.”
Toph slumped against the wall she was leaning on. The conversation she was overhearing was enough to sober her up, but she couldn’t bring herself to move away from the earshot of the argument. It was concerning to her that her best friend felt this way and he didn’t tell her about it. Sure, she knew that he missed Suki and that he was always trying to clear his schedule to make time to see his girlfriend, but she didn’t know things were so bad between them that it would warrant a fight like this one.
“Sokka… I do love you,” Toph heard Suki say after a while. “I-I do.”
“But not enough.”
“Sokka-”
“No, no. I get it. It’s, uh, it’s a part of growing up, I guess. We… we can, uh, grow together, but we can-”
“We can also grow apart, yeah.”
“Yeah.”
Toph’s hand flew to her head. Suki and Sokka, a couple that she thought would be inseparable, had just broken up. Or were about to break up. She wasn't sure. And she didn't want to stick around to find out, so she backed away as quietly and as quickly as she could from where she was and stumbled back into the party to find Zuko.
“Fire Lord Hotpants, do I have a tidbit of bavardage for you,” she said when she finally found him.
Zuko huffed and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her in the direction of his study. It was surprisingly close to the ballroom and she was appreciative of the fact that he had enough sense to bring her somewhere private.
“You drank too much, didn’t you?”
“Well, whose fault is that, huh?”
“Uh, yours?”
Toph threw herself into the seat behind his desk and set her feet on the wooden surface. “Nope. It’s yours. You know better than to tell me what to do, you idiot.”
“Toph.”
“I mean Fire Lord Idiot, my apologies.”
“What did you have to tell me?” He asked with another huff as he ignored her dig. He walked over to the corner of his study where she knew he kept a small tea nook to serve her a cup. When he was finished, he sat down on the edge of his desk and pushed her feet off of it, handing her the hot teacup. “I’m being a shitty host right now by not being at a party I threw, you know.”
She leaned into his desk and sipped, slurring, “They broke up. Or maybe. Maybe broke up. I left before I could know for sure.”
“Huh? Who?”
“The Earth King and his wife,” she dramatically groaned, slamming the teacup onto the desk. Luckily, no tea was spilled. “Suki and Sokka, dumbass.”
There was a beat of silence on his end. “Shit. Are they okay? Did Sokka tell you?”
“Not exactly.”
“Okay, so how did you, uh, find out?”
Toph scratched at her forehead and gathered her legs up and underneath her, losing contact with the ground. “I might have, uh, happened upon them arguing and I also might have, probably heard them break up possibly, perhaps.”
“So you eavesdropped?”
“I-no. I just happened to be near the conversation and just happened to hear the break-up unfold.”
“Geez, Toph.”
“I know.”
“How do you feel?”
“Me?”
“Uh, yeah, you.”
Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. There was no reason for him to be concerned about her when it was the two of their closest friends who had been together for years who had broken up. It had nothing to do with her. “Why me, though?”
Zuko blinked. “Well, aren’t you, like, in love with him or something?”
It took her a minute to really understand what he had said and she wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol in her system or the absolute ludicrousness of the implication, but Toph felt a giggle bubble in her throat and she couldn’t control the fit of laughter that followed. “What are you saying? What?”
“You’re… you’re in love with Sokka,” Zuko said in a monotone. “Everyone knows this. I think he’s the only one who doesn’t know, frankly. And apparently, you.”
“Firepants, that’s ridiculous,” she said after recollecting herself, wiping away a few stray tears from the amount of laughing she was doing. “I’m not- it’s Snoozles. Why would I ever be in love with him? That’s- no.”
“Whatever,” he said with a shrug, standing from his desk. “I have to get back to the party, but you can stay in here until you, uh, sober up. Just… don’t make a mess.”
As soon as she heard his footsteps recede, she pushed the tea away from her and slammed her head against the desk. “I already am a mess.”
Sure, she’d had a silly crush on Sokka as a kid, but that was all that was. She had grown up and she’d grown out of it because it was just a crush. They were a meaningless jumble of feelings that only a preteen could muster for someone. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less.
But now, when Zuko said what he said, she was spiraling. How would he, and the rest of their friends, think she’s in love with her best friend? It made no sense because she treated Sokka the way she treated everyone else. It was true that she was closest to him and they shared all these intimacies about themselves to each other, but he was always in a relationship, and Toph respected him, Suki, and herself enough to never-
Fuck .
She never got over it, did she?
Before she could give herself the chance to spiral some more, she heard a soft string of knocks at the door. An eyebrow raised, not wanting to get out of her comfortable position to figure out who it was. “Firepants isn’t here right now, please leave a message.”
Nevertheless, the door opened. “It’s just me, Toph.”
“Oh.”
Sokka stepped into the study and shut the door behind him, walking toward the desk and sitting on one of the chairs in front of it. “Zuko told me I could find you here.”
“Of course, he did.”
“Are you- I can go if you need me to,” he said awkwardly. “I mean, you look-”
“Like shit? Unsurprising.”
“How would you even know?” He retorted, making her crack a smile. “But no, I was going to say exhausted.”
“Drinking after months of not drinking will do that to you, Snoozles. I wouldn’t recommend it.”
The sound of a glass being slid onto the desk rang about in her ears. “Noted.”
Then, more silence filled the room. It was starting to become tense for some reason, or maybe it was because she was making it tense. It was never tense between them and she hated it. Was it because she had just rediscovered how she felt? Her head was spinning, not solely because of the drinks, and she really wanted to scream at the sensation. “Did you- was there a reason you were looking for me?”
“Can’t I seek you out for, I don’t know, a chat without there being an ulterior motive?”
“Quit lying.”
His seat creaked as he leaned over. “How could you know I’m lying if your feet aren’t even on the ground?”
She chuckled nervously. “I do now.”
Sokka sighed, then said, “We broke up.”
“You- whaaat ?” She mentally smacked herself because of the voice crack at the end of his question. “You and Suki? I’m- wow, that’s, wow.”
“I know,” he said, too distracted to not be unphased by her behavior, a fact she was thankful for. “And we just, we had too many suppressed feelings and so much resentment toward each other… it was never going to work out long-term.”
“Huh? What do you mean? I thought the two of you were, I don’t know, a love match.”
“First of all: ouch. Too soon,” he said with a sad laugh and she suddenly became enthralled by the pattern of ceramic flowers on the teacup Zuko had given her. “Second of all: so did I.”
Toph ignored the way her heart was beating. “I’m...sorry. Do you want to talk...about...it?”
“Do you mind if I do?”
She quickly shook her head. “Mind? Why would I mind? Knock yourself out, Snoozles.”
So she let him talk to a point where he was recounting every single detail that she already knew up until the point where they actually ended their relationship. There was something creeping in her stomach, a feeling eerily similar to guilt, but what did she have to be guilty for? She didn’t mean to eaves- overhear their very private – and very loud – conversation. She happened upon it as she would happen upon a plate of her favorite meal. And it wasn’t like she caused the breakup. It wasn’t. So why did she feel guilty?
Sokka kept speaking and venting to the point of tears, and she really didn’t know what to do to console him, so she stood, went around the desk, and rubbed his back awkwardly. “This isn’t the end of the world, Snoozles. You’ll find someone else to love you.”
He paused and let out a pathetic sniffle, turning to look at her. “You suck at this. Why am I friends with you?”
She couldn’t help the snort she emitted. “Hey, hey, I’m trying here, asshole.”
“Not hard enough, you’re not,” he said, his voice still watery. But he was laughing, and that’s all she cared about for right now.
Toph padded over to a small cabinet behind Zuko’s desk to fish for a cloth for him to wipe his eyes with and handed it to him. “For what it’s worth, you’ll be fine. I… I know it’s hard, but you deserve to be with someone that can value you as much as you value them.”
“I love you,” he said, taking the cloth from her and pulling her into a hug. “You’re going to make someone really happy someday, Toph Beifong.”
She took a deep breath in and remained silent, her head against his chest and focused on the sound of his heartbeat before she said something that she knew would change everything.