Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“come again, yubeom did what?”

heeseung groans, further shoving his face into his pillow in hopes that, perhaps, the universe will compensate him by showing some mercy and let him just shrivel up and die. maybe he’ll spontaneously perish when they decide to call it a night and go to sleep. that would be a fitting end, he thinks.

“after we got our grade back for our project,” the words come hesitantly, muffled—in part due to the pillow— but mostly because of the embarrassment preventing him from properly articulating. “….he canceled on our date. dropped me. just like that.”

“hyung…” jungwon’s sympathy only makes him feel worse. his brother gives him a pat on the back that ends up consoling him anyway. “i’m sorry.”

on the opposite side of the spectrum, jongseong sits up with an annoyed scoff. “i’m gonna punch him right in his ugly face, what an asshole.”

“don’t bother.” heeseung sighs, emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. he turns a little, so that he’s laying on his side and able to see the other two boys squished together, trying their best to keep themselves from falling off of heeseung’s tiny twin-sized bed. “you can’t go around committing acts of violence against every guy who’s mean to me.”

“uh, correction. i have yet to commit a single act of violence.”

“you ripped all the seams on euntaek-hyung’s backpack last month. i can still remember the splash his biochem textbook made when it landed in the pond.”

a proud smirk tugs at jongseong’s lips at the reminder. he shrugs. “i never denied partaking in property damage.”

the eldest shoots him a flat look.

“it was deserved anyways.” jungwon offers as justification. the boy scooches closer so he can fling his arms over the sulking heeseung, koala-hugging the older until he feels a slight rumble of laughter. “serves him right for using you like that.”

it’s hard to argue with when he puts it like that, really. with a slow shake of his head, heeseung tiredly teases, “you’re supposed to be the voice of reason, jungwon.”

a strangled wheeze escapes the oldest when another body flops on top of his and jungwon’s, somehow still more comforting than painful. who knew there’d come a day where heeseung would consider his best friends gradually and intentionally squeezing the life out of him his primary source of comfort.

strangely, he’s okay with it.

am i finally losing it? he wonders absently.

“exceptions should be made sometimes,” jongseong hums, and heeseung catches the fond way he ruffles the youngest’s hair. it’s so gut wrenchingly cute that he wants to scream because, when will he ever get that?

the sudden diversion in his train of thought must show on his face because the other two share a sidelong glance, before facing heeseung again.

“don’t look at me like that.” heeseung cracks a reassuring smile. “at least i can live vicariously through you two.”

it does not work.

they continue to look at him the way one would a kicked puppy.

“you just haven’t met the right guy yet, heeseungie-hyung.” jungwon tries in an effort to comfort him.

“yeah, and all the guys you date end up being absolute dickheads—ow!” rubbing at his arm, jongseong levels jungwon with a grimace.

the younger mocks him in response, copying his facial expression with an added blep of the tongue. he turns his attention to heeseung, persuasive in the way he gives the oldest a confident smile. “i’m sure you’ll meet a nice, well-meaning guy with an actual moral compass in the near future. i’m usually right about these things.”

“i mean, that’s not that high of a bar to clear.” jongseong mutters under his breath, preparing for another light slap from his boyfriend.

jungwon simply side eyes him.

heeseung deliberates on it for a minute, before nodding belatedly. “you know what, you’re right.”

“he is?”

“i am? i mean, yes. of course i am.”

“i haven’t found the right guy yet because i’m trying too hard.” one small shake of his head later, heeseung shoots up and out of bed, now determined.

“i mean, that’s not really what i—”

the eldest raises a self-assured fist, channeling all of the energy he can possibly muster so late into the night, then: “if i focus all of my energy on my classes then things’ll work out! if i meet someone then great, if i don’t then… i guess i just wasn’t meant to find love!”

“…right.” jongseong hesitates to nod, obviously struggling to follow heeseung’s sudden outburst. he wiggles off of the boys and over to jungwon’s other side, wrapping his arms around the youngest’s waist. “that… kind of makes sense.”

no matter jongseong’s confusion, heeseung now knows what he has to do. busying and overworking himself has always been his go-to coping mechanism, and who knows, maybe it’ll lead to him to a boy who ends up genuinely liking him this time. 

hopefully, a voice in the back of his head adds. 

eventually, jungwon shuts his eyes with a sigh.  snuggling closer to jongseong, he murmurs, “alright. go to sleep, hyungs. you’ve got morning classes tomorrow.”

unsurprisingly, jungwon is the first one to wake up in the morning, acting as heeseung and jongseong's alarm clock. 

maybe if heeseung squeezes his eyes shut tightly enough, jungwon will let him sleep in for a few more minutes. god knows he’s going to need it, because what idiot registers for a 7:30 am lecture with two labs following directly after it on a monday?

that’s right, this idiot.

alas—his brother isn’t fooled and with a snort, he pulls heeseung’s blanket away, leaving him utterly defenseless against the chill of their apartment’s air conditioning. “nooo… five more minutes, jungwon-ah.”

“you have exactly 50 minutes left before your lecture starts, and jay-hyung’s already up and almost done with breakfast.”

heeseung slowly cracks one eye open, mentally cursing at himself for being so easy. “…what is it?”

jungwon smirks as if he’s already won (heeseung rolls his eyes, but he’s endeared nonetheless) and sing-songs: “tomato egg rice plus toast and bacon~”

for a moment, he thinks it over. i could get a little bit more sleep in and go to lecture hungry, or i could eat breakfast and go to lecture tired. or i could just… stay home.

it’s a lose-lose no matter what, so he reluctantly slides himself off of his bed and heads to the bathroom, ignoring the cheeky “and you’re supposed to be the older one,” jungwon throws his way.

“i will not skip lecture, i will not skip lecture, i will not skip lecture.” heeseung repeats to himself throughout the entire time he spends getting ready in an effort to manifest it.

he really can’t afford to skip; it’s too early in the semester to be slacking off. so he’ll go, despite the vaguely bad feeling he has about today.

by the time he makes it to the kitchen, their table is already set. jongseong’s looking as chic as usual, in his all black attire and scrolling through his phone as he eats. jungwon’s still in his pajamas, and heeseung bites back a smile at how full the boy’s cheeks are. he takes a seat, but not before humming, “you look like a chipmunk, jungwon.”

“i do not—”

“well, i’m ready to get going. jongseong-ah?” heeseung stands, still nomming on a piece of toast as he dusts off his new black high-waisted pants and tugs the sleeves of his white sweater down over his hands.

jongseong makes a noise of acknowledgment and grabs his backpack. “i’m all good. when are you coming, jungwonie? want me to come back and drive you?”

“probably in like an hour and a half since i have to meet up with sunoo-hyung at the library for a group project.” the youngest rapidly directs a shooing motion towards the other two. “and no thanks, hyung. now go before you’re late!”

“okay, bye!” heeseung calls out as he shuts the door behind them.

thankfully—or maybe not-so thankfully since the rent here is literally the bane of his existence—his and jungwon’s apartment is close enough to their university that they can walk or bike there with relative ease.

even more thankfully, jongseong often sleeps over at their apartment, and therefore, also often drives them over to campus.

during said drive, jongseong rants about something along the lines of fast fashion and late stage capitalism but heeseung is really only partially paying attention, distracted by the fact that he can feel his anxiety steadily building… he doesn’t know why, though.

he hopes this isn’t like, foreshadowing or anything.

Chapter Text

heeseung can't help but feel anxious once he and jongseong split up to go to their respective classes. there's something bothering him, something that makes his chest tighten up just a bit, but he can't place it. it's uncomfortable. 

he clutches onto the strap of his backpack a little harder, and pushes away that icky feeling for now. there's an exam review today and they’re supposed to get their scores back for the previous exam—and he's about five minutes away from being late, great.

"7:30 am lecture," heeseung mumbles under his breath, which is quickly becoming erratic and shallow as he picks up the pace. "am i actually stupid? should've listened to jungwon and gone for the 5 pm section—”

not watching where he's going proves to be the wrong decision as he slams face-first into what feels like a brick wall, and embarrassingly, falls flat on his ass. 

"woah! hey, slow down there," the wall hums.

huh?

it's then that he looks up, and makes eye contact with a guy that might just be the most attractive human being heeseung has ever laid eyes on. 

the boy crouches down to offer heeseung a hand, and tilts his head in question when heeseung does nothing but continue to stare right at his (handsome) face.

his cheeks go red because not only did he just make a fool of himself in front of the stranger, but he’s also been caught ogling him. 

just kill me, heeseung internally screams. he accepts the boy’s help with a great deal of hesitation (cursing his motor skills all the while) and finds himself being pulled to his feet with ease.

well that’s attractive—no, heeseung. let love find you, not the other way around. he reprimands himself, but can’t deny that his heart might be feeling just a teeny bit weak at the moment. 

“i’m so sorry, are you okay?” the boy furrows his eyebrows, a slight frown tugging at his lips. “sounded like you hit the ground pretty hard.”

heeseung will never admit to melting at the genuine concern in the other’s voice; his past boyfriends couldn’t even fake being half as worried about him as this guy he’s literally just met.

“don’t worry,” heeseung shakes his head with a small smile, hoping that whatever’s going on in his mind is not showing on his face. “i’m fine, and besides! i should be apologizing… i’m the one who ran into you.”

the sound of a text tone chimes just as the boy opens his mouth to respond, and he checks it with an… irritated (?) sigh.

heeseung can’t really tell by the look on his face, but his body language sure does seem annoyed.

“i have to get going, but again, i’m really sorry. let me make it up to you some time?” he asks, eyes lighting up in a way that has heeseung reeling. 

does he sound hopeful, or is it heeseung’s stupid hopeless romantic delusions?

“oh, no no, really, it’s okay! you don’t have to—”

“okay, i’ll see you around!”

and he’s gone.

heeseung blinks once, twice, three times. 

he checks the time.

“shit.”

he is very careful when he opens the door to the lecture hall and squeezes through, desperately scanning through the crowd to try and spot where taehyun—his only friend in the entire class—is sitting.

heeseung lets out a relieved sigh when he eventually finds him, and hurriedly shuffles down the stairs and through the rows, muttering awkward apologies to the other students as he does so. 

“hey, hyung.” taehyun whispers, amusement glinting in his eyes at the embarrassed flush on heeseung’s cheeks. “nice of you to finally show up.”

“shut up.” heeseung pouts subconsciously as he pulls out his ipad to start catching up on notes. “i’ve had a rough morning. now what did i miss?”

“professor kim posted our scores for exam two.”

the bad feeling from before comes back full force, and—not to be dramatic—but he might just throw up.

“oh, okay. cool.”

not cool.

not cool at all.

so very not cool. 

once taehyun’s attention is turned towards the projector, heeseung pulls out his phone to check his grade.

exam two, exam two… twenty-four out of fifty? an f? heeseung’s heart drops, and all he can do is silently put his phone back in his pocket.

for the duration of the lecture, he’s mentally checked out to prevent himself from having a breakdown in the middle of class—and before he knows it, it’s over.

taehyun walks with him, just until they make it out of the building. “i promised beomgyu-hyung i’d buy him a coffee after class, so i’ll see you later, heeseungie-hyung!”

heeseung musters a weak smile, and waves him goodbye, only for both his smile and hand to drop once he’s out of sight. 

deep breaths, heeseung, deep breaths. he reminds himself as he begins mechanically making his way to the biological sciences building for his first lab of the day. 

okay, sure, it’s no biggie.

not a big deal at all that he failed on the exam, it’s not like he studied for three weeks straight for it or anything. 

he might physically die, actually.

the only thing that breaks him out of his catatonic-like state is the sound of a terribly familiar voice he hears as he’s about to round a corner. heeseung brings himself to such a sudden stop that he nearly topples over because surely, he’s hallucinating this right now. 

slowly, he peeks around the wall. 

he sees yubeom, which already makes heeseung frown, but then he sees who he’s talking to—he sees him, and his blood runs cold. 

“yeah, i dumped minji a while ago. she kept getting on my nerves all the time and she was just not hot enough to go through all that trouble.”

heeseung’s legs are moving before he’s even finished processing the situation and he quite literally sprints away before he can be spotted. he sends off a panicked text to his group chat with jongseong, sunoo, and jungwon. 

me:

kyungwoo is bcl

bacj

back

jongseongie:

THE FUCK

me: 

i literally just saw him

talking to yubeom

jungwonie:

okay

i’m calling a group meeting RIGHT NOW

me:

let’s do lunch

i have lab right now

sun:

UGH

that asshole???

“what do you mean he’s back?”

if heeseung had the energy, he’d slam his own head into the table. he looks over at jongseong miserably. “what else would i mean? he transferred back. and apparently he broke up with minji-noona.”

jungwon frowns, glaring at his drink as if it would have the answer to his questions. “what was the point of dating you to make her jealous if he was just gonna break up with her too?” 

“i don’t know,” heeseung mumbles, sincerely trying not to burst into tears at the mention of the biggest failure in his love life. he’s managed to keep himself from crying in front of the other two for almost an entire decade, and he’s not about to let kyungwoo of all people ruin that. “i just hope we don’t ever have to talk to each other ever again.”

i don’t want to be humiliated like that ever again, is what he really means. he would sound very sad if he said it out loud though, and that would make jungwon and jongseong very sad.

he’ll just keep the kyungwoo-related emotions to himself. 

they don’t need to know the gritty details of their relationship anyway.

“anyways,” he lets out a breath to steady himself. “forget him, he’s not important. what’s important is i failed my physics exam.”

“you what?”

heeseung almost laughs at the shocked look on jongseong’s face, all wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. he actually does laugh when jungwon whips his head around to stare disapprovingly at his boyfriend. “gee, way to make me feel better about it.”

“oh right, sorry sorry.”

“i thought it went well?” the youngest tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed and confusion laced in his tone. “you studied so hard!”

jongseong chimes in with something actually helpful this time, “your professor drops the lowest exam grade, doesn’t he?”

“yeah,” heeseung sighs. “but it won’t help much if i fail the next exam too.”

very, very quickly, an out-of-breath sunoo appears, and heeseung hears a very jungwon-like snicker. 

he hunches over, hands on his knees as he wheezes. “hah… sorry i’m—ugh, late. did i… miss anything?”

“kyungwoo-hyung is back or whatever,” jongseong’s expression distorts into one midway between disgust and utter repulsion. “oh, and hyung failed his physics exam.”

heeseung frowns through a pout. “i don’t know what i’m gonna do for the next one.”

“first of all, gross.” sunoo scowls, as he takes the seat between heeseung and jungwon. he then gives the eldest a pat on the back in solidarity, said scowl turning into a cheerful smile instantly. “tell me if he bothers you, i’ve got connections.”

this year is only sunoo’s first year on campus, but heeseung does not dare question his connections. he’s learned the hard way over the years that, when he puts his mind to it, kim sunoo can be capable of anything. 

that boy is scary, he shivers.

“and secondly, you’re in luck, hyung—i happen to have a friend that’s really good at physics! he’d be more than willing to help you out!” 

heeseung doesn’t know if he should be grateful for sunoo hand-feeding him a solution to all of his problems, or wary of the sudden sparkle in the younger boy’s eyes. 

the last time sunoo had that look on his face, heeseung ended up with an exploded cake in his oven that, by some miracle, did not set off the fire alarm. suffice it to say, he’s a bit apprehensive.

“that’s great!” jungwon answers for him with a dimpled grin, “he wouldn’t mind?”

jongseong seems to be in the same boat, nodding along, lips pursed thoughtfully. “yeah, he won’t be too busy with his own work? do we know him?”

“has he ever tutored before? i think… i’ll probably need a lot of help, and i don’t want to take up time he could be using to study for his own classes or anything.” heeseung worries.

the last thing he’d want is to be the reason someone else has a hard time.

“wow, okay. one at a time, please.” sunoo laughs. “yes, i’m sure he wouldn’t mind and no, he has plenty of free time on his hands. hm… you might know of him? you’re in the same year as him, jay-hyung. and yes, he’s tutored before. don’t worry so much, heeseungie-hyung! he is the perfect person to teach you.”

“okay… if you’re sure, sunoo-ya.”

Chapter Text

“kim. sunoo. you did what?” sunghoon grabs sunoo by the shoulders and screeches directly into his ear.

which, to be fair, he thinks is a perfectly reasonable reaction.

he also has half the mind to kick sunoo out of his home right this instant for trying to play matchmaker and meddle in his—nonexistent—love life again, but he decides that would be a little mean.

“jesus christ—can you not?” sunoo removes sunghoon’s hands with a glare and an eye-roll. “um, hello? shouldn’t you be thanking me right about now? i just found you a way to finally befriend heeseung-hyung!”

“as his tutor?” shaking his head in disbelief, sunghoon covers his face with his hands and groans, utterly distressed. “how am i supposed to tutor him in physics—i don’t even take physics. i don’t know anything about physics!”

sunoo’s devious little fox eyes sharpen, and he smiles, sending chills down sunghoon’s spine. “no, but jake-hyung does~ and you two have been best friends since like, ever. he wouldn’t mind teaching you.”

“but,” sunghoon’s mouth opens and closes like a dying fish. he has nothing. “but—”

sunoo is right, jake wouldn’t mind at all—in fact, he’d probably be more than happy to teach him anything and everything about physics if it meant sunghoon would stop hopelessly crushing on heeseung from afar and subsequently running his mouth about him all the time.

okay, it sounds creepy when he puts it that way, but it’s not, he swears.

“i mean, come on, think about it! you already knocked him off his feet once—”

sunghoon grumbles, “please stop mentioning that.”

the younger, unperturbed, punctuates his sentence with a high-pitched laugh, making it apparent that he is: one, enjoying himself way too much and two, finds himself way too funny for sunghoon’s liking, “why don’t you try sweeping him off his feet this time?”

“ooooh, are we talking about sunghoon-hyung’s little crush?” riki enters the living room with a shit-eating grin on his face, eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

sunghoon’s eyebrow twitches. “don’t test me, riki. i will send you back to auntie’s house.”

it’s a bluff though, and everyone here knows that. riki especially.

“you wouldn’t. not with mom and dad on a business trip. i’d be all sad and alone…” riki, not at all threatened, gives sunghoon the fakest puppy-dog eyes he’s ever seen, and proceeds to take a leisurely stroll to the kitchen to rifle through sunghoon’s fridge—which he just restocked and organized.

“yeah, hyung! he’d be all sad and alone.” sunoo throws in an exaggerated pout for good measure, and sunghoon questions the life choices he’s made to end up at this point.

fuck.

this… could go horribly wrong in so many different ways, sunghoon’s brain supplies.

sunoo and riki both watch, all smug and satisfied as sunghoon defeatedly pulls out his phone and clicks on a contact.

“jake… i need your help with something.”

sunghoon stares at his notebook until all the little numbers and letters start swirling on the page. “the fuck is a snell’s law.”

jake—the lovely, wonderful, patient godsend of a friend that he is—just takes in a deep breath before letting out a giggle, tired, yet somehow still amused. “it relates angles and indices of refraction. n one times sine theta one equals n two times sine theta two.”

they’re on hour three of jaeyun’s physics two crash course, and it’s out of sheer willpower that sunghoon has even managed to absorb the fundamentals of physics one.

something about mass and velocity and force or whatever.

he’ll know it better tomorrow after he’s slept on it.

“you’ll probably understand it better tomorrow,” jake grins proudly, giving sunghoon a pat on the back. “i think we can stop here for today.”

“oh thank god, you know me so well.” sunghoon groans as he stretches his arms out in front of him. “sunoo said that i need to start as soon as possible, like, in two days at most, but i’m so close to calling it quits.”

not really, because as much as he complained earlier, sunoo really did just hand him a golden opportunity on a silver platter.

it’s been months since the first time he and heeseung interacted but he’s pretty sure the older has forgotten about it. and after their latest interaction, sunghoon did promise to make it up to him.

sunghoon still remembers their first meeting, clear as day.

it was like a scene straight out of that one drama sunoo and riki used to be obsessed with.

‘extraordinary you,’ or something like that.

heeseung must be very clumsy, because he had been struggling quite a bit with carrying his large stack of books in the library. the book on the very top of the stack had fallen off, and the poor guy was trying to crouch down to pick it back up to no avail. and sunghoon couldn’t just ignore someone—especially someone so pretty—in need of help, so he put the book back on top of the stack.

and then as heeseung stood back up, he accidentally knocked his forehead against sunghoon’s, resulting in the both of them letting out a pained groan simultaneously.

they apologized, shared a laugh, then went on about their days, but the way heeseung had thanked him is still ingrained in his mind, even now. 

“ah, thank you so much…!” the older had been so soft-spoken, eyes so wide and sparkly that sunghoon’s heart momentarily stopped in his chest.

it was that exact moment that he knew he was done for, and his affection for heeseung has only grown with time because of the stories sunoo would share about him.

“dude. you’re thinking about him right now, aren’t you?” jake snorts, effectively jolting sunghoon out of his heeseung-induced daze.

“pffft— no. that’s ridiculous.” sunghoon doesn’t know why he bothers with trying to deny it, he and jake both know the truth. “…maybe.”

“wow, wow, wow~” placing his chin on the palm of his hand, jaeyun leans forward with a teasing smirk on his stupid face. “so this is what love does to people, huh?”

a loud (and very obnoxious) “he’s in love~”  comes from inside sunghoon’s bedroom, followed by the sound of sunoo cackling, noisy mouse-clicking, and various video game sounds.

sunghoon wonders if it’s too late to find himself new friends.

is it possible for heeseung to replace his friends with new ones? ones that don’t ditch him to go on a date?

“don’t be so dramatic, hyung, we’re not ditching you.”

heeseung blinks. whoops. “oh, i said that out loud?”

“yes,” jongseong rolls his eyes. “besides, you’re supposed to be meeting sunoo’s tutor friend today aren’t you?”

in all honesty, it’s not like heeseung cares that jongseong and jungwon are ditching him, because he’s actually really happy that the two are taking a well-earned day off to relax and enjoy each other’s company. they’re adorable, and they deserve it, genuinely.

he’s just gonna be a little lonely without them, but it’s fine.

it’s a good chance for him to catch up on work in the meantime, since he’s not meeting up with sunoo and his friend until closer to the evening.

beomgyu will probably come to bother him at some point anyways, so he won’t be too lonely.

“yeah,” heeseung sighs, waving jongseong off nonchalantly. “well, where are you taking jungwonie?”

“i think we’re just gonna go to han river and hang out there. have a picnic, walk around, bring my ipad to watch some movies maybe?”

damn it. 

as hard as heeseung tries to suppress it, he wants that. he wants to go on relaxing dates by the river and cuddle on a blanket and watch movies together with someone. he wants that so bad. 

i wanna go ice skating with someone, and go on a shopping date, and try baking together, heeseung thinks sadly. 

(none of his past boyfriends had ever taken him seriously when he suggested cute little dates like that—kyungwoo especially. they’d just brush him off saying it was too much work, and expected him to go along with what they wanted to do instead. so, he did.) 

“you guys have fun.” heeseung hums when he realizes he’s been silent for one too many seconds, smiling sincerely as he pats jongseong on the shoulder. “i’ll be suffering because of physics.”

his phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pulls it once once he’s waved jongseong goodbye. 

gyu:

heeseungie!!

heads up

kyungbitch is lurking around looking for you

avoid the engineering building

me:

okay

thanks beomgyu!!

gyu:

ive got ur back 

:]

bless the universe for giving him choi beomgyu as a friend.

heeseung decides to take the long away around to the library, which adds another ten minutes of trying to dodge scammy petitioners harassing him to sign their stupid scam petitions for a quick buck.

one guy leers at him, eyes scanning heeseung up and down in a way that makes him scowl. he has to resist the urge to stick his leg out and trip him as he’s leaving. 

instead, he turns around to announce to the other students passing by, “don’t sign, they’re selling your information!”

the asshole yells at him, but heeseung just shrugs, giving him the most innocent, confused pout he can muster before leaving.

he’s annoyed now. lovely. 

and there’s another giant nuisance heading straight towards him.

fucking lee yubeom, he grimaces.

“leave me alone.” he doesn’t mean for it to come out sounding so blunt, but he’s absolutely exhausted once ex-boyfriend number three approaches him. “i’m really not in the mood to deal with you right now.”

“come on, heeseungie-hyung, i just need a few minutes.”

“…what do you want?” 

he’s more drained than irritated at this point. he wants to get to the library and draft his not one—but two papers that are due later tonight but no, he has to keep getting obstructed by these idiots. 

“i was talking with kyungwoo-hyung and—”

heeseung’s eyes harden at that, and he pushes past yubeom, ignoring the younger calling out to him. 

“talking to kyungwoo my ass,” heeseung hisses, fingers violently tapping on the keys of his poor laptop. 

he’s barely even paying attention to the words he’s writing, but he’s so close to finishing his first paper so he just keeps pushing.

he inhales deeply, and finally decides to let himself take a five minute break after checking the time.

it’s 3:30 already? i’ve been doing this for three hours?

heeseung blinks rapidly, eyes suddenly hurting far too much to keep staring at a computer screen.

he’s so fucking tired it’s not even funny.

three paragraphs away from concluding his essay, heeseung hits ‘save’ and closes his laptop with a yawn.

a lightbulb goes off in his head, he straightens in his seat and lets a quiet little gasp escape.

“boba!”

the group sitting next to him sends him a glare, to which he winces and mouths an apologetic, ‘sorry…’

how did he not think of this before? a good cup of his favorite taro milk tea with pearls is exactly what he needs to breathe life into his dying work ethic.

it’s been a long, grueling day.

heeseung can feel his near nonexistent grasp over his emotions slowly starting to slip, and there is nothing he can do to stop the inevitable breakdown he’s going to have to deal with later.

he just hopes he can get it over with before jungwon and jongseong come back from their date.

the last straw comes in the form of heeseung (predictably) tripping over an innocent bystander, sending his freshly bought cup of gongcha bubble tea—which, mind you, was the only thing keeping him from keeling over—straight out of his hand and into a headfirst collision with the cold, merciless ground.

heeseung falls too, but the physical pain he suffers is but a mere droplet in the endless bitter ocean that is this travesty.

(kind of. don’t get him wrong, he’s all for the dramatics but that actually hurt, ow.)

it takes a few seconds to register.

he stares at his poor drink, quickly turning into a big sad puddle in the middle of the sidewalk.

he pities it, for he too, now feels like a big, sad puddle in the middle of the sidewalk.

one with a scrape on his knee that’s really starting to sting.

the world in front of him blurs due to the tears he’s only partly trying to hold back; he’s been acquainted with both frustrating and embarrassing situations one too many times this week. what does he do? does he go back in to grab napkins and clean it? he should probably do that, right—

“oh my god, i’m so sorry, are you okay—oh no, you’re crying—”

heeseung feels his lips quivering and it only makes him flush, mortified. there is now a really attractive guy crouching down to help him up and he shouldn’t even be apologizing because it was heeseung’s fault in the first place and—oh.

it’s the same guy he ran into a few days ago.

Chapter Text

“look what you’ve done, sunghoonie-hyung!” sunoo chastises accusingly, and only then does he look up and notice the younger’s presence. “ohh, jungwonie and jay-hyung are gonna kill you.”

at the mention of his friends’ names, heeseung shakes his head and hurriedly wipes at the tears rolling down his cheeks, face flushed and eyes red-rimmed. “no it’s okay! i’m fine, i’m fine.”

wait.

…sunoo?

with the portion of heeseung’s brain that is still somewhat partially active, he manages to connect the dots at long last. oh god— the guy heeseung keeps making himself a fool in front of is sunoo’s tutor friend.

because of course he is. heeseung wants to scream.

must the universe hate him so?

“please don’t cry, i’m so sorry—here let me,” the boy—sunghoon (pretty name, heeseung thinks absently), offers a hand to him, eyebrows furrowed and lips downturned.

he’s all worried again, heeseung swallows the urge to swoon, though the butterflies fluttering around in his stomach aren’t exactly complying with him. you barely know him! one nice guy gives you attention and you fall at his feet, calm yourself lee heeseung.

being aware of this does not—in fact—stop his heart from doing backwards somersaults when sunghoon helps him up, nor does it help with heeseung’s (frankly embarrassing, as jongseong would say) motor skills, seeing as he stumbles over himself as soon as he’s back on his feet.

he tries not to focus on how sunghoon’s immediate reaction is to steady him gently, hands warm where they’re touching heeseung’s skin.

heeseung is twenty years old; why is he acting like a lovesick high-schooler? “thank you…”

“hyung, your knee’s bleeding!” sunoo points out, cheeks puffing out in a concerned pout. a small smile tugs at heeseung’s lips at the younger boy’s dramatics, but he’s grateful for it nonetheless. “we should get that cleaned up or it’ll get infected.”

worry practically drips from sunghoon’s voice and heeseung has to wonder if he is always so sweet. “does it hurt?”

only my dignity.

“i’m okay, really.” both sunoo and sunghoon look at him skeptically—so, doing what he does best, heeseung deflects and changes the subject. “anyways, it’s nice to finally meet you properly, sunghoon-ssi.”

heeseung’s eyes trace the curving of sunghoon’s lips as they form a wide smile. what a nice smile. “it’s nice to meet you too, heeseung-ssi.”

an extremely fake-sounding cough interrupts their little exchange, and when heeseung turns to look at sunoo again, the youngest of the three is (barely) trying to hold back his laughter. “no need to be all formal—you guys have run into each other enough times i think.”

“kim sunoo—”

“now now, sunghoonie-hyung, aren’t you going to clean up your mess?” heeseung can’t help but let out a little laugh under his breath at the smug grin on sunoo’s face. that boy really is something.

“what? but i—” sunghoon’s jaw drops in what the eldest can only assume is utter disbelief, after which the boy wordlessly flaps his arms around in his own strange method of communication.

(and he’s cute? heeseung can’t do this.)

he’s not really sure what the flapping means just yet, but sunoo must be very well-versed in the language of sunghoon, because he cackles with an air of certain victory.

deciding to spare the sunghoon the trouble, heeseung waves his hands, shaking his head with an easy smile on his lips all the while. “it’s alright, i can clean it. i was the one who tripped over you anyways.”

sunoo’s eyes flicker back and forth between heeseung and sunghoon, before the boy claps his hands together joyfully. “actually—don’t you worry about it, hyungs! why don’t you guys head to the library first? i’ll clean up here.”

“are you sure? it won’t take me long—” before he knows it, heeseung’s being firmly (but carefully) nudged in the direction of their campus.

sunghoon, on the other hand, is pretty much just shoved alongside him, “ack—!”

“go on, go on!” sunoo calls out after them, a big, unnerving grin on his face (should heeseung be more wary of this?) as he waves to them. “stop by the pharmacy and clean up heeseungie-hyung’s knee, too!”

”okay, i got it!”  sunghoon quips back, pulling a face that has heeseung covering his mouth to hide his little giggle.

it’s nice to see sunoo and sunghoon’s friendship in action, especially because he’s only recently been made aware of sunghoon’s literal existence. their bickering is cute, it reminds him of how he and jongseong or jungwon and sunoo would bicker.

it’s familiar; there’s a feeling of comfort that washes over him in that moment, one that finally eases the tension he’s been holding in all day.

warmth blossoms in the older’s chest, and his lips are turning upwards before he even realizes it. as they walk, his head hangs idly, eyes focusing on how he and sunghoon are stepping in unison. “you two are very close, huh?”

a chuckle, and then: “you think so?”

“yeah,” heeseung turns his head slightly, humming in content. his eyes curve into little half-moons as he beams at the younger. “it’s really sweet.”

a few seconds go by without a response from the other boy, and since sunghoon is kinda just staring at him, heeseung tilts his head questioningly, letting out a confused “sunghoon?”

“…huh?” sunghoon swallows then, eyes blinking at an unnaturally fast speed, before he gives his head a shake. “sorry—what was that?”

the older laughs, “i said your relationship with sunoo is really sweet.”

i guess he must space out easily too, heeseung muses, endeared. 

“oh, right. yes! well, we’ve been friends since… middle school? high school?” the boy pauses, eyebrows scrunching up as he thinks. “we met because he was practically my younger cousin’s best friend—still is, actually. then i introduced him to my friend jake and i guess we all just… clicked.”

“wait, really?” heeseung gasps, because: “i met sunoo in high school because he was my little brother’s best friend. and are you talking about jake sim? i think my friend jongseong is friends with him.”

how have heeseung and sunghoon never crossed paths before when it seems like both of their friend groups are so closely woven together?

“hyung—”

“ah—!” a yelp escapes him after sunghoon tugs him closer, just seconds before a bicyclist speeds past them in the same spot heeseung had just been in.

that was close, holy shit.

“how rude.” sunghoon breathes out, annoyed. his hand is still holding heeseung’s own, the older notes, flushing pink at the thought . “ hey, watch where you’re going!”

“oh my god.” heeseung places his unoccupied hand over his heart, exhaling tiredly. “thanks, sunghoon-ah.”

“no problem at all.” the younger flashes that charming smile of his and, boy is heeseung charmed by it. “after you.”

“hm?”

sunghoon is holding a door open for him all of a sudden and what the fuck—when did they get to the campus pharmacy?

he swears they just started talking, how are they already here? heeseung thanks him, visibly surprised as he enters.

“you wanna just sit by the waiting area while i get some disinfectant and bandages?”

“sure, sounds good.” time seems to pass incredibly quickly around sunghoon and that worries heeseung just a little bit because…

that’s how it started with kyungwoo, too.

no, stop that. heeseung  reprimands himself, frown marring his previously smiley expression. he’s so nice and you don’t even know him that well yet. besides, sunoo wouldn’t hang around people like kyungwoo.

“i’m back, sorry that took so long.”

heeseung’s about to wave it off, but he freezes when sunghoon crouches down by his leg. “what’re you—”

“disinfecting,” he answers simply (is this normal?). “this might sting a little.”

“ow…”

“there, all better.” with a satisfied grin, sunghoon stands back up and holds out his hand to the older once again.

is this going to be a thing? heeseung accepts it with a grateful smile. i hope so. 

“we should probably actually get to studying now, shouldn’t we?”

oh, right. physics, the root of all evil.

“…i know i should say yes, but i’ve been trying to avoid it.”

sunghoon laughs, which is probably the dorkiest thing heeseung  has ever heard—aside from jongseong’s laugh, that is—but in a cute way. “yeah, i know. but i am supposed to be tutoring you, aren’t i?”

heeseung sighs. “…yes.”

to heeseung’s immense shock, he’s understanding the material for once.

“ohhh, i get it! because the prism is thirty-sixty-ninety—” heeseung’s hand has never ever been this quick before. he draws a dashed line across the triangle. “i draw the normal line perpendicularly…”

sunghoon’s strangely silent while the older has his ‘eureka!’ moment, and heeseung can only hope it’s not because the younger thinks he’s an idiot.

“then this angle becomes thirty degrees and i add it to the eighteen degrees over here! right, sunghoon?” heeseung excitedly slides his notebook towards his tutor, eyes shining. “then i can just use snell’s law and i’m done.”

“right… yes.” the younger answers tentatively, but heeseung remains unaffected, far too overjoyed by the fact that he can actually solve this stupid problem on his own.

he flips his notebook closed once he jots down the last of his calculations. “you’re amazing, sunghoon-ah.”

“i really didn’t do anything. it was all you, hyung.”

“oh, don’t be so humble.” heeseung teases, placing his chin on the palms of his hands with his elbows resting on the table. “i’m sure all of your students must say stuff like that.”

why did i say that—

potential flirtatious connotation aside, that did not even—his brain didn’t even have a chance to process the thought before it came flying out of his mouth.

this is not normal.

“students?” sunghoon either isn’t bothered by heeseung’s comment or he just didn’t hear it, and heeseung would be happy with either option. “what students?”

he sounds confused, which is making heeseung confused.

“oh, i just thought—‘cause sunoo said you’ve tutored before…?” he finishes, suddenly unsure with himself.

sunghoon’s eyes widen in what heeseung figures must be some kind of realization. “oh. oh, right!  yep, yeah. my—uh, my students. mhm-hm, they think i’m pretty good.”

unable to stop himself, heeseung breaks into a fit of laughter. “you’re—oh my god, you’re so lame!”

“stoooop,” the younger groans and buries his face in his hands, but heeseung doesn’t miss the way his shoulders shake in laughter. “all of my other friends call me lame, i can’t have you doing it too!”

clearing his throat doesn’t do much to hide the clear amusement in his voice, but heeseung does it anyway. “sorry, sorry… but you have to admit it. you’re a little bit lame.”

one eye-roll later, sunghoon opens his mouth to fire back with what heeseung is sure will be another dad joke. 

(the younger has already told so many in the past hour alone that heeseung will probably never be able to un-hear “miso soup makes me-so happy,” for the rest of his life.)

before he can though, heeseung’s stomach growls.

heat rises to his cheeks when sunghoon grins, just as teasing as he himself had been only moments prior. karma is such a bitch. “hungry?”

“shut up,” heeseung pouts subconsciously. “i think i forgot to eat today, no wonder i’m so hungry.”

“you think you forgot?” the other boy repeats, a mix of confusion and disbelief on his face. “how?”

“usually one of my friends will remind me—nobody reminded me today so i guess i just… forgot.”

“hyung. it’s seven in the evening and you’re telling me you haven’t eaten anything?”

heeseung nods, expression turning puzzled when sunghoon stands up immediately following his response. “where’re you going?”

“we,” sunghoon corrects softly, “are going to go get something to eat. now hurry and pack up.” 

if heeseung’s heart skips a beat right in that moment, no one has to know.

Chapter Text

there are a lot of things heeseung could be doing on a tuesday evening (including working on the many, many assignments he has due this friday) but none of them would be quite as fun as just chilling at the campus burger king with his new… friend?

it’s not really clear what their relationship is right now other than tutor and student, but seeing as they share mutual friends, heeseung would like to think they’re at least kind of friends.

(friends in progress? yeah, that sounds about right.)

plus, sunghoon’s personality—at least from what he’s gathered throughout the single day they’ve been talking—fits right in with the kind of people heeseung would like to have in his life.

in other words, sunghoon is a big old dork. he’s lame and laughs way too hard at his own jokes and compliments himself shamelessly, and heeseung loves it.

“hyung, are you even listening to me?” a fry hits him square in the face, accompanied by the sound of sunghoon snickering.

oh, this means war.

“you’re gonna regret that, park.” heeseung arms himself with a dozen fries in each hand and smirks. “i don’t lose.”

“wait, wait!” sunghoon laughs, the sound loud and bright and clear as he busies himself with swatting away heeseung’s rapid fire attack. “okay, i give i give! you win! jesus—ack!”

the last fry in heeseung’s arsenal lands in sunghoon’s mouth, and it’s with a victorious little bow that the older accepts his win.

one look at sunghoon’s face sends him into a fit of giggles; the younger’s eyebrows are furrowed, but the rest of his face remains expressionless as he chews on the fry dramatically. eventually, as heeseung’s literally choking on his laughter, sunghoon finally gives and breaks into a grin. “i may have lost this round, but you will get your comeuppance once day, heeseung-hyung.”

“ooooh, a big word,” the older wiggles his eyebrows teasingly as he leans forward to puff his cheeks out at the other boy. “i’m so scared.”

an amused sigh leaves sunghoon’s lips, and he flicks a hand through his hair—a simple action that has no right making heeseung’s heart flutter and yet, it does. “you’re insufferable.”

nooo… how could i let myself be affected by his stupid little hair flick? heeseung  wants to kick himself in the face.  “hey! i might be insufferable, but at least i’m pretty.” 

sunghoon glitches (?) a little, which is the only way heeseung could possibly describe the visible little jerk the younger does, before he rolls his eyes exaggeratedly and stands up. “whatever you say. i’ll be right back, i’m gonna go to the restroom real quick and then we can leave?”

flashing a small smile, heeseung nods. “mhm.”

oh, that’s right. i still have to update sunoo! once he pulls out his phone, however, it’s apparent that he has to reply to a lot more than just sunoo’s texts.

seven missed calls and a shit ton of texts from both jungwon and jongseong. he winces. whoops.

jongseongie:

hyung did you guys meet up yet

4:31 pm

hello

4:45 pm

hyung did you get kidnapped or something

respond pls

5:12 pm

HELLO ARE YOU DEAD

5:23 pm

hyung

if you’re not dead i’ll kill you

6:00 pm

jungwonie:

hyuuung, i’m home where are you

5:00 pm

jay-hyung’s kind of losing it

i’d appreciate it if you could answer him

5:10 pm

okay well

i’m just going to assume you’re either still working or you’re just really distracted

5:30 pm

but don’t come home too late, it’ll get dark outside soon :(

5:33 pm

sun:

hope you don’t mind me ditching u hyung <3 but don’t worry sunghoonie-hyung’s pretty cool

sometimes

ill buy u some boba tmr!! 

4:00 pm

are you guys having a good time?? :D

5:02 pm

also i may have told jungwonie and jay-hyung that sunghoon-hyung made u cry oopsies

5:05 pm

oh boy.

after updating his friends on his current status (and narrowly avoiding certain death by jongseong’s hand), heeseung’s lips quirk upwards into a fond smile at their silly little antics. 

despite how eccentric they may appear to be, their hearts are always in the right place, and they have good intentions. 

i can’t believe they’ve grown up so well, look at them making sure i haven’t been murdered, heeseung stifles a laugh at his own thoughts. 

well, considering he practically raised jungwon since they’re siblings and all, he can kind of believe it. 

as much as they all baby jungwon, he’s very mature, much more responsible than heeseung himself most of the time. he’s so observant and supportive. he stays true to his beliefs and doesn’t back down, but he’s always respectful about it.

and little jay—who used to cling onto him all the time in elementary school, all shy and cute—is all grown up now. he’s become such a natural caretaker over the years, headstrong and determined and passionate, and still loyal to a fault.

then there’s sunoo, rosy-cheeked, pretty, smiley sunoo. that same kid who looked up to him with those starry eyes, always looking to learn something from him. he was more reserved, then. worried about making friends in a new school, putting up a front just so people would like him. 

he’s probably changed the most out of the three. he is completely himself now, unabashedly, and that is what what makes him shine, what draws people to him.

yeah… they really have grown up well, haven’t they?

“hey, ready to go?” 

heeseung blinks himself back to reality at the sound of sunghoon’s voice, and—still feeling all warm and fuzzy inside—he gives the younger a smile, soft and sweet and content. “let’s go.”

“it’s okay, you really don’t have to drive me. i live close enough to walk home, like, for real.” no matter how hard heeseung tries, sunghoon continues marching on through the parking lot, unbothered. 

geez, how’d he manage to befriend someone else who’s just as stubborn as he is?

the younger shakes his head, turning to stare at heeseung worriedly, eyebrows downturned. “but it’s dark outside! it’s dangerous to walk all by yourself.”

“i don’t… want to trouble you, though.”

(a stray memory comes bubbling back to the surface in spite of heeseung’s conscious efforts to keep it at bay. 

“you can walk, right, heeseungie?” kyungwoo had asked so casually. he either didn’t notice the way heeseung’s shoulders tensed at the question, or he just didn’t care. “i don’t really feel like driving right now.”

it was so dark out, and heeseung was more than a little bit afraid.

but you said you’d drive me back if i came home with you.

it’s dark outside, i’m scared.

could you call me while i walk, so i’m not alone?

he wanted to say those things, but in the end, all he could get out was a weak, “sure.”) 

“don’t be silly, hyung! i dragged you out to eat so the least i could do is give you a ride.”

heeseung’s heart threatens to burst right out of his chest right then and there. that’s not fair—he can’t just say that. oh dear, his heart may be palpitating. 

“oh look, we’re here.” sunghoon hums, pleased, and opens the door on the passenger’s side. “after you.”

it’s not until sunghoon starts the car that heeseung speaks, quietly, gratefully. “sunghoon?”

“yeah?”

“…thanks.”

the grin the younger sends him is so bright that it nearly blinds him. “no problem at all.”

“hyung…?”

the first thing that greets him upon arriving at home is a sleepy jungwon, blinking blearily over at him from where he’s laying on the couch. 

“jungwon-ah?” heeseung frowns, slipping off his shoes and shuffling over quickly to grab a throw blanket and tuck jungwon in underneath it. “why aren’t you in bed?”

his brother fights back a yawn, wiping at his eyes and mumbling, voice still thick with sleep. “…dark outside, wanted to wait for you to come home…”

“…mhm—wh, home?”

heeseung almost shrieks when a groggy jongseong uncurls himself off the floor, already glaring at him within two seconds of waking up. “jay-ya! what are you doing on the floor?”

“what do you think?” he narrows his eyes at the eldest. “waiting for the kidnapee to finally return home—hey, what happened to your knee?”

the immediate shift in jongseong’s tone from accusatory to concern almost gives heeseung whiplash, but he rolls his eyes dramatically. “relax, doofus. i tripped and scraped my knee.”

“…okay… ’m gonna go to bed now.” jungwon stumbles off the couch and sways on his journey back to his bedroom, with jongseong following not too far behind. “g’night hyung.”

“goodnight, you two.” 

they even waited for me to come home? heeseung feels his heart soar, so utterly elated. they’re so cute.

he thinks about just how lucky he is to have his friends as he’s washing up; this tender feeling never truly fades, and for the rest of the night, he’s left with a smile resting on his lips. even when he goes to sleep that night, it’s with him, this little piece of joy.  

the good night text he gets from sunghoon is an added bonus.

Chapter Text

if you had told the sunghoon of three weeks ago that there would come a time where he’d not only become friends with the pretty boy he’s been crushing on for the past several months, but also spend copious amounts of time around said pretty boy, he would have laughed and called you a fucking liar.

actually—scratch that.

the sunghoon of today still can’t believe how close he and heeseung have gotten in the past two weeks. 

other than their tutoring sessions—which mostly just consist of sunghoon being there to encourage and reassure the older and heeseung figuring things out on his own yet  attributing his success to sunghoon anyway (heeseung should really give himself more credit)—they’ve spent lunches, dinners, and even coffee breaks between classes together.

granted, they’re not alone for the majority of those times. sunghoon’s become pretty well-acquainted with both heeseung’s younger brother, jungwon, and jungwon’s boyfriend, jongseong. 

and, while jungwon seems to like him well enough, jongseong… probably has something against him. 

he likes to send glares sunghoon’s way when heeseung isn’t looking despite sunghoon’s best efforts to break the ice, and sunghoon has a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with one kim sunoo.

he relays this to jake one day, as they’re just chilling in the café (sunghoon’s new favorite spot on campus, whether or not it’s because of heeseung is a secret he’ll take with him to the grave). 

“i don’t think it was sunoo. you probably did something.” jaeyun blinks at him skeptically after taking an extremely loud and obnoxious sip of sunghoon’s vanilla iced latte, like a little leech. “jay doesn’t really hold grudges without a good reason.”

first of all, “aren’t you supposed to be on my side?” sunghoon huffs indignantly, arms crossing in a manner far too sulky to be intimidating. 

“don’t get me wrong, sunghoon-ah. i have total faith in your people skills,” jaeyun flashes him a toothy grin, and sunghoon is perplexed. “it’s just sometimes you can come off as a little… standoffish? especially to people you don’t know. i mean, you remember, right? sunoo used to hate you.”

stupid jake and his stupid logic.  

sunghoon opens his mouth to fire back a witty retort, but he’s interrupted before he can even try.

“sunghoon-ah!”

“heeseungie-hyung?” his head whips around just in time to see heeseung running up to them, excited grin shining brightly. as soon as the oldest makes it, he hunches over, hands on his knees as he catches his breath. “you okay?”

“look, look!” a phone screen is shoved into his face, accompanied by heeseung’s sparkly wide eyes and starry smile. “i aced my exam!!”

sunghoon’s heart is going to fucking burst. this is it. this is how he dies, going into cardiac arrest because of a cute boy. “that’s amazing, hyung! see, i knew you could do it!”

next thing he knows, heeseung’s arms are around his neck in a cozy hug—it’s by instinct that sunghoon’s arms wrap around his waist to reciprocate. 

“mhm,” heeseung shakes his head a little, tickling at sunghoon’s neck a bit. a few seconds pass before the elder tightens his arms, and whispers, “…it was all thanks to you.”

there’s a very high chance of heeseung literally feeling sunghoon’s heart trying to burst out of his chest and when sunghoon tries to look to jaeyun for help, he finds that the shorter is already watching him. 

jake’s expression is a mix of fondness and smugness. 

how is that even possible?

to sunghoon’s dismay, heeseung soon pulls away, pink dusting his cheeks—probably because he’s just remembered that they’re still in public—and turns to jaeyun with a sheepish wave. “hi… jaeyun-ssi, right?”

“just call me jaeyun!” he chirps, returning the wave happily. 

“okay, you can just call me hyung then!” heeseung nods, small smile forming. it drops soon enough—the eldest’s lips purse in a little pout, and his tone is far too apologetic for something so minor. “sorry for interrupting, by the way. the scores just got released and i saw you guys and i guess i was just really excited… i wanted to tell you in person.”

“no, no! don’t worry about it, you’re fine.” jaeyun beats him to the punch—damn him—waving his arms and shaking his head quickly. “congrats on your score.”

“thank you!”

sunghoon catches the exact the moment jake’s heart melts, partially because sunghoon’s does too. 

“sunghoonie, are you guys busy right now?”

he recognizes the slight hesitance that comes with heeseung’s question (it’s like he thinks he’ll be turned down) and for some reason, his heart clenches. is sunghoon being dramatic about it? it makes him want to reassure the eldest until it’s all gone. “nope, we’re both free.”

much more relaxed now, heeseung looks over at jaeyun before turning back to sunghoon, lips upturned in a little smile. “would you guys like to go get lunch then? my treat.” 

when they’re heading out, sunghoon lets himself lag just a bit behind the other two to watch them talk. they’re getting along so well—already bantering and bursting into fits of giggles in no time at all. sunghoon feels his heart swell when he sneaks a glance at heeseung’s face, the sunlight peaking through the trees bathing him in a soft glow. 

like a star, sunghoon thinks, or… more like the moon.

sunghoon’s phone vibrates in his pocket that evening, long after he’d gone home for the day. he groans, already so warm and comfortable in bed. 

whatever, i’ll check in the morning.

“hey, hyung! check the group chat!” riki calls out to him from the living room, snickering. 

jakey:

bro i think I’M in love with him wtf

his eyes

i’ve never seen eyes sparkle like that before

me:

NO

STOP

1/2 of sunsun:

heeseungie-hyung?

lowkey same

10/10

best boy confirm 

me:

i hate it here

you guys suck

he really needs some new friends. 

Chapter Text

a few days after heeseung officially meets jaeyun—or jakey, as sunghoon likes to call him (which is adorable and therefore he will be stealing that nickname), their individual friend groups kind of just start blending together. it’s not only more fun with everyone there, but it’s also just really comfortable? the atmosphere is so nice, and even though it can get a little chaotic, heeseung always finds himself all warm and smiley when they’re together.

jungwon and jake get along very well, which isn’t unexpected at all, really. sunoo seems brighter than ever before and, jay’s strange demeanor around sunghoon aside, heeseung quite enjoys witnessing everyone’s dynamics. he still has yet to meet sunghoon’s cousin though, despite how much he knows about him from sunghoon’s (cute) rambling, so he hopes that will happen sooner or later.

maybe he’ll bring that up to sunghoon in a little bit.

needless to say, heeseung feels rather satisfied with how his life is going at the moment, at least socially.

well, except from having the knowledge that kyungwoo is out there crawling somewhere around campus. but still… he hasn’t tried to approach heeseung at all yet, so maybe he’s changed?

“what am i saying?” heeseung gives his head a quick shake, adjusting his backpack and pushing the door open to leave the biological sciences building.

whether he’s changed or not is none of my business, he reminds himself firmly. it’s not like i’d want him anywhere near me anyway.

the boy comes to a full stop, nearly toppling himself over at the suddenness. his face tints pink, because the next words that were about to come out were ‘besides, i have sunghoon.’

he can’t even say he’s surprised; no matter how hard he tries convincing himself otherwise—his heart beats harder, his body feels lighter… even the sun seems to shine brighter around the younger boy and really, it’s been like this since the beginning. heeseung pats his cheeks a few times, flush with embarrassment at how readily—how easily—he smiles, all shy and fluttery at the thought of sunghoon alone. 

i like sunghoon, heeseung idly sways side-to-side as he walks, pleasantly humming all the while, his cheeks lifting along with the little grin that grows on his lips. i like him a lot. 

it was inevitable, really. 

they’ve spent a lot of time with each other, and heeseung’s picked up a few things.

sunghoon has been nothing but kind to him, caring and observant and so, so considerate. with the way he interacts with his friends, the fondness that’s always present in the way he speaks, even if he’s exasperated—it’s clear that he really treasures those close to him, and it’s so sweet. he makes lame dad jokes that nobody laughs at but himself (and sometimes sunoo), he gets sulky when he’s jokingly ignored, he teases his friends relentlessly, but he’s the first one to compliment and praise them when they need cheering up, too. he’s a little protective over his friends, but for the right reasons.

(there are times when heeseung feels like sunghoon gets protective over him, too, and it sends the butterflies in his stomach into a gay little panicked frenzy.)

how could heeseung not like him?

it’s nice to finally admit it, even if it’s only to himself. 

the question of whether or not sunghoon likes him back is an entirely different issue that he will not be delving into today… heeseung really hopes he does, but then again, it’s unlikely. heeseung certainly isn’t anything special, and sunghoon’s already surrounded by such great people; jaeyun, sunoo, he’s even close with yeh shuhua and jang wonyoung.

they’re all pretty and popular and kind in their own ways; they shine. heeseung can’t compare to them.

it’s alright though.

he’s not really emotionally prepared for anything more than friendship right now anyway. 

i’m getting ahead of myself, heeseung gives his head a shake, cheeks bright red.

the fact that he’s in so deep when they’ve only known each other for a little less than a month is a bit… scary? worrying, to say the least. regardless, he pushes the thought aside because he is not going to let himself overthink this right now—not when everything’s going so well.

he shuffles past the crowd awkwardly, brushing off the whispers that start with his arrival as a coincidence. 

while heeseung had been certain that nothing could possibly spoil his good mood earlier, right now, he’s not feeling too sure.

his shoulders shrink uncomfortably.

is it narcissistic of him to feel like people are staring at him? heeseung would rather drown than turn around to check, but he swears he’s felt at least two or three people look his way. 

is there something on my face? he wonders, subconsciously raising a hand to touch his cheek. he’s just trying to get to class, but it’s pretty hard to focus on anything else when it feels like the spotlight is on him without knowing why. 

generally, he lays low and his social circle isn’t that big or anything, so why are people paying attention to him?

heeseung digs around for his phone in his pocket.

you know what, fuck it.

me:

who’s up for an arcade day?

listen. it’s not like sunghoon is just waiting around for the possibility that heeseung will text him or anything, alright?

it just so happens that he’s bored out of his mind and snacking in the kitchen when heeseung does text the group chat (their new one, consisting of sunghoon, heeseung, jay, jake, sunoo, and jungwon), so he just happens to respond with unbelievable speed.

speed, that is definitely going to get him called out for favoritism later—they’d be right of course, sunghoon normally couldn’t be bothered to read anyone’s texts, let alone reply to them—but you know what, what’s done is done. 

hee-hyung:

who’s up for an arcade day?

me:

i’d really like to, but i’d feel bad leaving my cousin at home alone :(

hee-hyung:

he could come too!

if he wants to, that is

me: 

hold on let me ask

“yah, riki!” sunghoon immediately calls out to the younger, who’s occupied playing fifa in the living room instead of doing his homework (the little slacker). he ignores the consecutive buzzes from his phone which are no doubt the others finally responding. “you wanna go to the arcade with me and my friends?” 

rapid footsteps quickly approach and before he knows it, riki’s head is peeking into the kitchen, eyes wide and shining with an excitement so pure and child-like that sunghoon feels his heart clench in his chest with the immediate urge to coo at how cute his cousin is. “arcade? of course i wanna go! when do we leave—i’m gonna go change!”

“gahh, you’re so cute, riki!” 

“shut up, no i’m not!”

…aaand he’s back to normal. 

brat, sunghoon lets out a fond little sigh, before turning his attention back to the chat. 

jungwon (complimentary):

i’m up for it, i’ve finished my classes for the day

1/2 of sunsun:

ughh i wanna go toooo

but if i skip this class one more time i’ll lit rally die

ily guys tho have fun!!

jay (derogatory):

i’ll go too

want us to pick you up? @hyung

hee-hyung:

yes pls

jakey?

jakey: 

can’t :( sorry hyung

i really need to finish my assignments

rain check for next time though!!

hee-hyung:

it’s fine dw about it!!

good luck on ur assignments :] 

sunghoonie?

me: 

my cousin would love to!! :)

hee-hyung:

yay! <3

meet us at blockbuster arcade at 1?

me:

got it

see you guys there

sunghoon’s arm mechanically reaches for a pillow, only for him to then violently shove his face into it and scream—it’s surprisingly therapeutic, by the way.

the text heart, the bread smiley face. 

holy fuck, heeseung is so cute.

so far he’s been doing a pretty good job of hiding his feelings (at least… he thinks so?), but he really isn’t sure how much longer he can last without letting it slip. with the increasing amount of time they spend together, naturally, sunghoon only finds himself becoming more and more curious about the older.

they’ve gotten to know each other quite decently obviously and what he does know has only endeared heeseung to him further (i.e. how heeseung’s now following his childhood dream of becoming a vet; how he likes to wake up early to watch the sun rise sometimes, because the world is quieter, more peaceful, then; how his favorite color is lavendar because jungwon had once brought him some pretty purple flowers with the happiest grin on his face, back when he was still little—because that day, jungwon had smiled as he told him they reminded him of his hyung).

but still, sometimes—sunghoon sees and hears glimpses of… something.

something else, something different.

he can’t put it into words because he doesn’t really know what it is, but it’s like… there’s a part of himself that heeseung is holding back? or, it could just be that the older boy is reserved and sunghoon’s reading way too much into things.

(which is also definitely possible, considering the exorbitant amounts of time he spends in his own brain.)

either way—sunghoon wants to learn more about heeseung, and today is the perfect day for them to grow closer. 

well.

this certainly wasn’t what sunghoon was expecting, but he did say that he wants to learn more about heeseung, and this is definitely a learning opportunity.

sunghoon blinks, completely bewildered as he watches heeseung’s jaw drop right in front of him.

the older seems just as shaken as sunghoon himself is, and does a confused double take, eyes flitting from riki to sunghoon and back to riki. “riki, you’re sunghoonie’s cousin?” 

literally what. how does his cousin of all people know heeseung?

“hey, heeseungie-hyung!” the youngest in the group grins, before throwing his arms around jungwon and jongseong and quickly dragging them away to the ddr machine. the other two’s protests are drowned out by riki’s excited monologuing about ‘how long it’s been’ and how ‘i can’t believe you graduated early and left me, jungwonie-hyung’ and ‘jay-hyung why do you look so old?’ 

sunghoon notes with surprise how happy the look in jay’s eyes is, despite riki’s borderline mockery, along with the way jungwon bursts into laughter when riki uncharacteristically trips over his own feet, pretty much handing the second youngest the win.

how did he never notice these friendships before, when riki clearly feels so at home here?

i need to start paying more attention to him, sunghoon nods, lips pursed in determination. i’ve been so busy—i hope he hasn’t been feeling neglected or anything.

that aside, there are more pressing things to address, such as—

“hyung,” sunghoon turns to look at heeseung quizzically, letting out a chuckle when heeseung exaggeratedly mirrors his expression, the older breaking into an endearing little laugh of his own. “you and riki know each other?”

“yeah! riki and sunoo used to come over all the time to hang out, well—they still do, and it used to be mostly for jungwon but i pretty much ended up adopting them and that’s kind of just how we work?” heeseung’s expression lights up joyfully, and it’s so fucking hard to focus on the words he’s saying when the love of sunghoon’s life is right there in front of him with those rosy cheeks and smiling eyes—and now heeseung’s hand is lightly tugging on sunghoon’s sleeve to direct him towards the basketball game. “but i didn’t know he was your cousin, that’s amazing!”

oh my god i can’t do this. 

he can’t do this in so many ways.

firstly, sunghoon is god awful at any sport other than figure skating (riki and jake will never let him live when it comes to soccer) and secondly, this level of cute is far too much for sunghoon’s heart to handle.

what can he say?

he’s a weak man. 

“careful, sunghoonie-hyung!” riki warns him, mischievous grin putting sunghoon on edge immediately. “heeseungie-hyung is good at everything, there’s no way you’ll win.”

“okay, first of all, rude.”

the youngest snickers and scampers off with a skip in his step. sunghoon catches jungwon giggling at his cousins antics, catches jay’s fond smile when riki challenges him to a duel at the punching bag machine. it almost reminds him of his own bond with riki.

so maybe jay isn’t so bad—at least when he’s not inexplicably scowling at sunghoon. there’s a big softie hiding underneath that grumpy exterior after all.

“sunghoon-ah, play with me?” the older boy grins at him, hands tossing one of the basketballs up and down teasingly. “jakey told me that you’re bad at sports and i want to put it to the test… maybe i can be the one that teaches you, this time.”

they’re physically quite close right now, and yes, sunghoon will choose to ignore the feeling of jay glaring daggers at him from afar.

is heeseung… flirting with him right now, or is that wishful thinking? either way—

sunghoon smirks.

“you’re on, hyung.” 

and accepting heeseung’s challenge would prove to be an incredibly stupid move on his part because, as they move from game to game in the arcade, sunghoon discovers just how correct riki had been in warning him. 

sunghoon’s only won once and it wasn’t even because of his skills!

heeseung stubbed his toe and got too distracted to play properly. (this is also when sunghoon realizes that heeseung is extremely clumsy.) even then, sunghoon just barely snatched the victory because he had gotten distracted by the sight of heeseung frowning through a pout. 

seriously, how can one person be so good at everything? with an exhausted wheeze, sunghoon leans back against the wall and stares at the older with wide, incredulous eyes. “what the hell hyung, how are you so good at everything?”

the praise quickly turns heeseung’s pride into bashfulness, cheeks turning pink as he shakes his head.

sunghoon marks that down for later. 

compliments make him shy, how cute.

“thanks, but i’m not that good.” as the older boy hums, he raises a hand to tuck the hair covering his eye behind his ear, and sunghoon’s eyes follow the movement, endeared—a common trend lately for sure. “they just like to exaggerate.”

“don’t be silly, heeseungie-hyung.” a familiar higher-pitched voice scolds, softly yet insistently. sunghoon and heeseung look up simultaneously to see jungwon puffing his cheeks out in front of them, eyes mid-roll. “of course you’re good.”

“everyone knows you were the best one on the team back in high school,” jay adds, poking his head out from behind jungwon.

“mhm-hm, mhm-hm, this is true.”

and there’s riki.

heeseung’s eyes soften around the edges, and with a grateful smile that sends an arrow straight through sunghoon’s heart, he sighs: “c’mon—you guys say i’m the best at everything.”

“it’s ‘cause you are.” sunghoon bites back a laugh when heeseung’s head whips in his direction, doe eyes all wide and disbelieving. “what? i mean, they’re not wrong. i witnessed it firsthand, you literally just beat me at nineteen out of the twenty games we played.”

“i’m about ready to call it a day if you guys are.” brushing past the comment completely—he’s also apparently good at deflecting—heeseung scoots past them all. “i’ll be right back though, gonna head to the restroom real quick.”

as soon as heeseung is out of sight and out of hearing range, jay, jungwon, and riki’s eyes are on sunghoon and oh wow, he is no longer having fun all of a sudden.

he can feel the sweat starting to build up.

“listen, hyung.” jungwon starts, surprisingly pleasant in both tone and body language. there’s even a small smile on his lips. “i like you.”

sunghoon lets out a relieved breath, opens his mouth to respond but jungwon cuts him off with a polite (can you even call it that?) little: “no no, shh. just listen.”

sunghoon then shuts his mouth and realizes with the salty sting of betrayal that riki has fled the scene, leaving him to fend for himself. that brat.

“i like you, you seem like a great person and i like that you and heeseungie-hyung enjoy each other’s company. you both seem very happy.” jungwon’s eyes sharpen. “but if you hurt my big brother, bad things will happen to you.”

“don’t make him cry again.” jay mutters. “other than that, from now on we’re good. you’re pretty cool, sorry for being all…”

“angry? aggressive? generally an asshole?”

“yeah, those.”

“well then, jay-hyung and i are gonna go play one last game before leaving. hope you’re having fun, sunghoonie-hyung!”

okay, so…

sunghoon can see why jungwon and sunoo are such good friends now.

they’re both fucking terrifying.

there’re two tiny menaces hiding under those cute faces.

with the other three off doing whatever and no long breathing down sunghoon’s neck, he’s free to mindlessly scroll through his phone while waiting for heeseung to come back. a new post on their university’s subreddit page—it’s really just for gossip though, and sunghoon can’t even lie, it’s pretty entertaining to keep up with—catches his eye.

boyfriend thief on campus?

sounds like clickbait, but it sounds intriguing enough so sure. he’ll bite. 

i’ll just keep that saved for later, he thinks.

“hey, ready to go?”

sunghoon puts his phone away, heeseung’s voice lifting his mood instantly. the younger of the two smiles, but lets it drop when heeseung gives him a weak smile in return. “are you okay, hyung?”

“hm? oh, yes. don’t worry, i’m fine.” the older nods, and it’s obvious to sunghoon that he’s trying to put a little more energy into his smile. “i’m just a little tired. winning so many games in a row really took it out of me.”

“wh—hey!”

heeseung huffs out a laugh, leisurely folding his arms behind his back as he takes a stroll to the exit.

maybe sunghoon had just been imagining the spaced-out look on his face after all.

Chapter Text

that night, after they’d all separated and gone home after a long day of goofing off at the arcade—heeseung still can’t believe that sunghoon and riki are cousins, by the way—jongseong drops the siblings off before heading back to his own home for once, which is surprising enough as is. jungwon’s taken to having a quick cat-nap on the couch while heeseung takes a nice, hot shower.

sighing pleasantly as the warm water hits his skin, he slowly closes his eyes. 

this is just what he needs to clear his mind. 

of what, you may ask? 

well, near the end of his and sunghoon’s kind-of-but-also-not-really-but-maybe-because-they-were-kind-of-flirting date, everyone had been complimenting him way too much in way too short a time period, so he excused himself to the restroom where he could blush and do his little happy dance alone and free of judgement. 

and while he definitely did complete his little flustered shuffle, he’d also gotten a text message that kind of really dampened his mood, as hard as he tried to not let it show.

gyu:

seungie

ok listen

so i heard from tyun who heard from soobin-hyung who was walkinj past kyungshit and sum other girls and hyung heard ur name mentioned

he didn’t hear what kyungwoo said but he wanted to make sure u knew abt it

me too ofc

>:( i hate that guy

if you need it taehyunie will gladly beat him up for u

me:

i’ll pass on the beat up offer

i’m a pacifist 

thanks though gyu!! <3 

tell soobinie-hyung and tyun thank you too

i will also text them but yknow

gyu:

i got u ;)

anything for you our little 01z maknae!! 

has he mentioned that he loves beomgyu?

it’s also safe to say that whatever kyungwoo is saying about him probably isn’t good. 

i don’t understand, heeseung’s lips curve downwards slightly, what do you want, kyungwoo?

it bothers him that night when he wakes jungwon so the younger can shower, it bothers him when he tries to go to sleep early, it bothers him for the next three days, all the way up until his next tutoring session with sunghoon. 

all he’s doing is mindlessly scribbling onto his notebook, only somewhat vaguely resembling the formulas he’s supposed to memorize for their quiz next week. a shiver runs down his spine, and there it is again—that feeling of people staring at him. ugh, he just wants to curl into a ball and disappear.

“hyung,” sunghoon whispers, one hand on heeseung’s shoulder.

heat rises to heeseung’s cheeks when he realizes that their faces are now very close and yes he knows they’re in a library and it’s easier to hear each other like this but if one of them accidentally (or purposely, but you didn’t hear that from him) leaned forward just a little bit—their lips would touch. which would be a kiss. they would be kissing. heeseung flushes and hopes sunghoon isn’t paying attention. “yeah?”

“do wanna get out of here?” 

there’s literally nothing he’d rather do, sunghoon reads his mind once again; relief paints heeseung’s face as he nods enthusiastically, shoving his stuff into his bag and practically bouncing out of his seat. “yes, please.”

don’t smile at me like that, heeseung bemoans internally, eyes auto-locking on the way sunghoon looks up at him, resting his chin on one hand—heeseung has no idea if the softness in his stare is real or if it’s his imagination running wild and honestly, he’s not sure he wants to know the answer to that. “sunghoon?”

the younger hums, a pleasant sound. “let’s go for a walk.”

“ah,” heeseung sighs after taking in a deep breath of fresh air, face tilted upwards to bask in the sun’s warmth as its rays shine onto them. it’s so pretty out, too! cotton candy clouds catching the light from the sun, the leaves on the trees rustling with the slight breeze… and sunghoon, walking leisurely beside him. he takes the opportunity to stretch a little, finally relieving the tension in his body. “this is so much better.”

the whole experience is oddly romantic-feeling, even though this is most definitely not the first time they’ve gone out for a stroll together. just like when they were at the arcade, or all the times they shared a meal together.

i am in so deep.

“it beats trying to study with dohwa off in the corner talking about his tinder dates, that’s for sure…” sunghoon stares off into space, eyes filled with regret so intense that heeseung can’t help but laugh at the younger’s antics. as hard as he tries to keep the act up, heeseung still catches the subtle twitch of the other boy’s lips and decides he might as well partake in the dramatics. 

“i’ll never be able to forget the fact that they had sex in the library.” heeseung shudders, raising a hand to rest against his forehead with a pained sigh. “my poor ears.”

they look at each other and share a little giggle.

the conversation continues to flow easily between them, much to heeseung’s delight. talking is just so effortless with sunghoon, he can talk and be sure that sunghoon will actually be listening to him; he can listen, rest assured that sunghoon won’t accuse him of being neglectful just because he’s being quiet. he doesn’t exhaust himself walking on eggshells to avoid saying the wrong thing and setting him off.

it really is refreshing, he’s never liked someone that makes him feel so… comfortable, before.

the conversation goes from their complaining about their awful professors (“a 2.4 on rate my professors? that’s so sad.”) to playfully arguing about their food preferences (“no, garlic’s better!”/“radish is obviously better!”) to their shared struggle of constantly being ditched by their friends going on dates. 

“sunoo and jake were both supposed to come over yesterday so we could have our monthly game night but.” sunghoon rolls his eyes, but he clearly isn’t all that bothered by it, not really. he’s still smiling. “jake had so much fun with euijoo that he ended up forgetting about it. riki was sulky for a while, and sunoo was acting all pouty but we ended up rescheduling so it was fine in the end.”

euijoo doesn’t sound like someone heeseung knows, but if he and jaeyun are dating then he must be a great guy.

heeseung’s lips purse into a pout, reminded of all the times he’s been ditched so jungwon and jongseong could go on their little dates. not that he minds either, but it is fun to exaggerate sometimes. “jay and jungwonie ditch me to go on dates all the time too.”

sunghoon chuckles as he nods, and heeseung wants to hear his cute little laugh all the time. “they go on dates a lot, don’t they?”

a sigh leaves heeseung’s lips as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear, throwing a defeated smile sunghoon’s way. “yeah, it’s sweet though—they’re always going for walks and having picnics by han river, or they go to the movies or go shopping… they went ice skating once and came home all grumpy and bruised.” heeseung grins, lighting up at the memory. “i wanted to go too, but i didn’t want to be a downer by third-wheeling. besides, they’re cute or whatever.” 

“well, speaking of dates, actually…” heeseung turns his head to look at sunghoon when he speaks, slowly, because this cannot possibly be going in the direction he hopes it’s going, can it? sunghoon clears his throat, avoiding his eyes and his face is flushed and—

oh my god.

“i was wondering if you’d go on a date… with me?” the younger swallows, voice rising in pitch the longer he keeps on going. heeseung blinks. “because i thought, maybe… at the arcade, we were kinda—unless i was interpreting that wrong that’s totally possi—”

“yes! i-i mean,” heeseung coughs, feeling heat crawl from his neck all the way up to tips of his bright red ears. calm down calm down. “i mean, um, yeah, sure. i guess. you know, if you’re free—i mean if i’m free. i mean—”

sunghoon wheezes out a laugh. (have his eyes always shined like that?) 

“friday at noon?” he asks once he’s regained his composure, much more relaxed and grinning at him toothily—heeseung finds his little canines (they look like fangs, honestly) absolutely fucking adorable. “i can come by to pick you up! if you want me to, obviously.”

“i’d love that.” finally loosening up his posture, the older’s lips pull into a sure smile. “…i am free, by the way. just in case that wasn’t clear.”

heeseung mouth snaps shut when sunghoon shakes his head in amusement. “you’re so cute, hyung… i can say that now, right?”

he thinks his face may actually be burning.

it is so fucking hot right now. 

it must be the sun. silly sun. it sure is sunny out here, wow! 

“okaywellseeyouonfridaybye!” heeseung exhales his goodbye all in one breath and makes a break for it, speed-walking away like a fucking maniac and not looking back until he’s found an impeccable hiding spot, one that’s sure to keep him from being spotted. a tree, perfect! 

hesitantly, he lets his head peek out from behind said tree, watches, because sunghoon looks like he’s… frozen? oh god, has heeseung broken him? 

a few seconds pass before the younger does maybe the dorkiest thing heeseung has ever witnessed in the history of ever. he proudly pumps his fist in the air, nodding to himself like a giant nerd.

“yes!” sunghoon whisper-yells, places a hand over his heart and lets out a deep breath. “you did it. good job, sunghoon, good job.”

he’s so cute, i can’t do this. heeseung is ridiculously happy when he spins himself around to get going for real. and we’re going on a date! oh my god we’re going on a date.

it’s with a monumental amount of shame that heeseung realizes he has to consciously stop himself from letting out an excited squeal like some kind of lovesick high-schooler. oh—who cares? he has a date! with sunghoon! all negativity flees his mind while he practically skips his way around campus, ignoring the weird looks he gets from a few students; nothing is going to ruin his mood right now.

if jungwonie saw me like this he’d never let me live it down, heeseung fans his face with his hand. oh, right, i have to tell them!

he pulls out his phone to text the group chat—taking an extra second to make sure it’s the one with sunoo, jay, and jungwon and not the one with sunghoon in it because that would be so humiliating he’d actually just completely cease to exist.

me: 

SUNGHOON ASKED ME OUT

jongseongie:

it’s ABOUT TIME

jungwonie:

i’m so happy for you guys, hyung!! 

sun:

FINALLY!!

ITS ONLY BEEN LIKE A WHOLE MONTH

TOOK YOU GUYS LONG ENOUGH

jongseongie:

do you know what you’re gonna wear yet

me:

no??

he literally just asked me like not even ten mins ago

jongseongie:

luckily for you

i am an expert i will style you  hyung

sun:

i know what ur doing jay-hyung and its not going to work

you cant distract me. you two love birds owe me 20 bucks each

hand it over jungwonie

OH but i will also help dw hyung ill do ur hair

me: 

.

you bet on my love life .

sun:

out of love :D

if it makes you feel any better jake-hyung and riki also made a bet w me 

so im getting 80 bucks

nice

jungwonie:

in our defense, we thought it was gonna be an easy bet!

i thought you guys would spend a little more time doing the whole mutual pining heart eyes kinda thing you know?

me: 

you knew i liked him??

jongseongie:

i love you

but you’re not very subtle about it

sun:

what he means is that the whole student body probably knew you liked him before you did, hyung

me: 

what . YOU MEAN HE KNOWS I LIKE HIM 

jongseongie:

what he means is that the entire student body also probably knew he liked you before you did, hyung

jungwonie:

he’s so brave

what a soldier

:’)

sun:

i wouldve given up by now honestly

me:

i want new friends 

sun:

what about a new boyfriend? ;)

jungwonie:

ooooh~

jongseongie:

loud kissing noises

me:

oh my god

heeseung, contrary to what he’s texting, can’t hold back the smile on his face. he shoves his phone back into his pocket and takes a second to breathe. god, he loves his friends. aside from betting on his love life (and betting against him no less), they’ve actually really helped relieve some of the pressure on him. and, if what they’re saying is the truth, then sunghoon… does like him? 

well, he did ask me on a date. which means we both like each other, and we’re going on a date, he twiddles his fingers shyly.

his heart does a funny little flip in his chest—heeseung cups his flushed cheeks in an effort to cool them down, closes his eyes with a soft exhale. the butterflies in his stomach have made their home there and clearly, they’re not going to be leaving any time soon.

his phone buzzes and he reaches for it immediately with the hope that it’ll be sunghoon, or at least one of his friends, but instead… he’s met with:

unknown:

hey

can we talk?

and his number may have been deleted from his phone a long time ago, but it’d be impossible for heeseung not to recognize it.  the weird stares he’s been receiving lately, the odd whispers surrounding him, and his conversation with beomgyu all come flooding back to the forefront of his mind.

unknown:

please

i missed you

kyungwoo, heeseung’s brows furrow, previously elated  expression now marred with a deep frown, what are you doing?

his stare burns holes into his phone screen the entire walk home.

heeseung traps his upper lip between his teeth and chews on it anxiously, trying for the life of him to figure out what kind of messed up game kyungwoo is playing. 

he’s lying, the little voice in the back of his head warns him. but he knows that—perfectly well.

(another memory. he’s in kyungwoo’s apartment, one hand on the handle and one foot halfway out the door; he’d almost forgotten about this one.

“please,” kyungwoo had asked, voice breaking—in retrospect, he’d probably been faking it— driving the knife further into his heart with every second he keeps his harsh grip on heeseung’s arm. 

let go, he remembers saying.

it hurts, he’d whispered.

“i missed you.”

and just like that, heeseung let go of the doorknob.

he can’t remember what they were fighting about anymore, but the aftermath is still burned into his memory.

i don’t want to do this right now, i want us to talk. he remembers saying this, he thinks.

“please, i missed you.” kyungwoo had repeated, murmured mechanically—uncomfortably hot against the skin of heeseung’s neck.

maybe heeseung had never said anything at all. maybe kyungwoo had ignored him.

he doesn’t quite remember.)

he won’t fall for it. not this time.

heeseung swipes the chat to the left and hits delete.

Chapter Text

“what do i wear? oh god—i don’t have anything to wear!” heeseung feels irrational panic rise all the way up to his throat as he wades his way through the giant pile of clothes on his bedroom floor, desperately picking random pieces up and subsequently (and aggressively) throwing them over his shoulder because nothing is good enough and he clearly cannot wear any of this and this is a fucking disaster. “jongseong-aaah, what do i do?”

said jongseong opens his mouth, probably to say something reassuring that would calm him down or something else just as jay-like, but it’s lost to the void forever when he sputters due to a stray sweater hitting him square in the face (courtesy of heeseung having poor aim).

even in fight-or-flight mode, heeseung has to bite down on his lip to stop himself from laughing when jay directs a stone-faced grimace his way. “whoops, sorry.”

“i really don’t get paid enough for this,” the younger sighs, plucking the sweater off of his head and crouching down to help sort through the mess. honestly, heeseung didn’t even know he owned this many clothes… maybe he should stop shopping as a coping mechanism. “did sunghoon tell you where he’s taking you?”

it takes a bit of effort on heeseung’s part to avoid pointing out that jongseong isn’t being paid at all, just because it’s fun to give his buttons a little push from time-to-time, but he’s quickly distracted by the boy’s question.

sunghoon didn’t really specify where exactly they’re going, but… oh! a lightbulb goes off in his head and after a clap of his hands, heeseung chimes in with: “he did say i should dress warm, if that helps.”

yes, he does know that the information is bordering on completely useless, but it does get jongseong to huff out a flabbergasted laugh, which has heeseung loosening up a bit too, so it’s worth it in his book. the older boy grins.

“it does not.” heeseung catches the way the corner of jongseong’s lips lift into a smile as the younger scoffs, juggling two different sweaters in his hands, and he’s reminded of how lucky he is to have someone like jay as a friend. it’s a thought he has a lot, lately. he wonders why that could be. “you’re lucky i love you, hyung.”

it’s way too early in the morning for him to feel so much sappiness.

well, it’s already like, 10, heeseung argues with himself. it’s too late to stop the sap regardless, because he’s already all warm and fuzzy inside and heeseung’s pretty sure the smile on his face must be so soft it loops right back around to looking stupid.

yeah, i am, he wants to say.

“yeah, yeah, whatever.” he says instead, opening his arms expectantly. “now where’s the personal jay-styling you promised? gimme.”

just when heeseung is about to sneak a peek at the outfit jongseong has chosen for him, the sound of the door bursting open steals the attention from them both.

“a-hah! i made it, i’m here!” sunoo’s voice cracks rather embarrassingly, but to his credit, the boy waltzes right in looking wholly unbothered—aside from appearing incredibly winded as he carries in his little beauty box, that is. 

before either heeseung or jay can question sunoo’s heaving breaths, the youngest of the three looks heeseung up and down, frowns—heeseung takes offense to this, he may have bedhead and still be in his pajamas but he doesn’t look that bad—and turns to jongseong. sunoo pouts. “why isn’t he dressed yet? if i do his hair and makeup now it’ll all get ruined when he puts on his clothes!”

the sheer absurdity of sunoo showing up late, only to interrupt jay when he’s about to finish, and then basically telling him to hurry the fuck up is so incredibly funny to heeseung and he has no idea why. 

maybe it’s the way jongseong’s eyebrow twitches right before he responds, “i was just about to finish picking out his outfit if you’d just give me a minute.” 

sunoo’s hands are on his hips, he’s unimpressed. “you’ve been here for like two and a half hours and you’re not done?”

“okay fine—if you wanna go there, where were you this whole time?”

a moment of silence passes.

inexplicably, and unbelievably—sunoo’s cheeks brighten. he gives a little indignant sniff and… is that a smile? a sheepish smile on sunoo’s face? self-proclaimed legendary matchmaker kim sunoo? “that’s… confidential information.”

heeseung’s jaw drops.

he and jongseong are apparently on the same wavelength—well, they usually are anyways, but still—the latter gapes at sunoo, eyes wide with surprise. “sunoo, are you blus—”

“do you want my help or not, hyungs?” and just like that, sunoo’s back to normal. he smiles that good-natured, sociable smile of his, the same one that compels you to let your guard down around him, with eyes curving into happy crescents. “i know exactly how i want to style your hair, too!”

whatever hint of red on his cheeks is gone by now, and honestly sunoo’s composure is like, actually impressive, but heeseung’s not going to forget about this.

looks like sunoo’s got a little crush. heeseung wants to pinch his cheeks. how cute.

“we’ll let it go for now, but you’re not getting away that easy, sunoo-ya.” jay smirks in amusement, before shoving a few pieces of clothing into heeseung’s (still open) arms. “here. go on and change, hyung.”

heeseung blinks.

black skinny jeans that he’s definitely never worn before, and his very special white ami paris turtleneck he’d gotten as a birthday gift from jay’s mom once. “where did these jeans come from? did i buy these?”

“yeah, don’t you remember when we went shopping and you were all like ‘oh, should i get these skinny jeans?’ and i went ‘but you never wear skinny jeans’ and then you were like ‘but they’re so cute!’ and ignored me and bought them anyway?”

that does sound vaguely familiar, and heeseung does have the tendency to shamelessly ignore jongseong’s advice. 

“if your legs weren’t twice as long as mine, i’d totally steal them.” sunoo hums, matter-of-factly as he starts getting his supplies set up on heeseung’s bed. 

heeseung just decides to trust the process. 

unfortunately, the process is not making this very easy for him.

five minutes into trying to shove his left leg into what feels like a fucking vacuum-sealed tube, he sags against the bathroom door with an exasperated groan.

that’s right.

that’s why he doesn’t like skinny jeans.

once again, he is painfully reminded of the fact that jongseong’s advice actually comes in handy very often and he should really stop ignoring it. “can’t i just wear some wide-leg pants?”

“no!” jongseong and sunoo reply in unison, sounding equally offended. heeseung sighs, holding his breath as he inches the fabric up and over his leg. 

almost there, almost there. 

sunoo’s voice, even from behind the door, is all too clearly entertained as he calls out: “beauty is pain, hyung!”

“beauty is pain,” he repeats mockingly, half mumbled because his focus is now on trying to get these damn jeans over his butt. they’re stuck and his butt isn’t even that big! he whines, “how am i supposed to get these over my ass? why’d you let me buy these?”

a scoff. “what ass?”

“how rude, which one of you was that?” heeseung grumbles, slowly peeking over into the mirror—not to look at the size of his ass or anything, because that would be silly—and shrugging. “i have some ass.”

oh god, finally.

it takes a little more wiggling to get the jeans over his ass completely, and he even manages to tuck in the fabric of his turtleneck to his own surprise. 

the excitement of it all doesn’t really catch up to him until he exits the bathroom, hands clasped behind his back and bouncing back and forth on the tips of his toes as he (im)patiently awaits jay and sunoo’s judgement. “so… how do i look?”

and okay, maybe the pre-date nerves start getting to him just a little bit, and maybe, it shows on his face or in his voice, because sunoo straight up giggles at him. “too pretty for your own good, hyung. don’t worry, you’ll have sunghoonie-hyung wrapped around your finger in no time.”

“i agree,” jongseong shoots him a vigorous thumbs up. “all that’s left is hair and makeup and sunghoon’ll be absolutely gone for you.”

as hard as he tries, heeseung can’t hide the pleased flush of his cheeks, or the twitch of his lips as he fights back a proud smile.

can you blame him? he’s always been weak for praise. 

a ding sounds from jay’s phone, and it’s with a small grin that he holds up the incoming text for the other two to read. “jungwon says you look great too.”

oh jungwon. fondly, heeseung shakes his head. “text him a thanks for me, and then tell him to focus in class.”

“he says you’re welcome, exclamation point exclamation point, also—don’t tell me what to do, angry face.”

truth be told, he’s actually pretty thrilled to be getting all dolled up; it’s been so long—too long, since he’s gone on an actual date, let alone let himself get pampered like this. it’s not a surprise that heeseung even finds himself humming a cheery little tune while sunoo styles his hair, closing his eyes and blindly trusting that sunoo won’t accidentally burn him with the hair straightener this time around.

“okay, what do you think?”

as soon as he opens his eyes, he’s faced with his reflection in sunoo’s cute little mint-colored handheld mirror and—oh.

“i look…” he trails off, slowly turning his head to appreciate all the work sunoo had put into beautifying him. his hair’s been left down for a more casual look, but it’s all nice and fluffy. his bangs have been carefully positioned, framing his features flatteringly. heeseung’s eyes roam his own face. his lips are slightly rosier than normal, and if he tilts his head at a certain angle, they’re glossy too. is that a tiny bit of glitter by his eyes? 

would it be narcissistic of him to think he looks kind of… pretty?

“it’s okay to call yourself attractive, hyung.” jongseong grins, clapping a hand onto heeseung’s shoulder. “you look good, own it.”

inhale, exhale.

“yeah,” a smile tugs at his lips. “i look good, thanks sunoo-ya.”

“it was my pleasure, and besides, i didn’t really have to do much.” sunoo hums, waving a nonchalant hand. “and because i’m so nice, the only payment i ask for in return is for you to spill all the details when you get back!”

“deal.”

when sunghoon finally mustered up the courage to ask heeseung out on a date, he didn’t realize he was signing up for a fucking heart attack.

he’d spent the past three and a half hours getting ready, accompanied by riki and jaeyun arguing about every single thing he asked for their opinions on, and sunoo dramatically scolding them both (sunghoon did notice he was suspiciously less harsh on riki, but that’s a talk for another day). naturally, he ignored them all—much to their audible dismay—and settled on something casual, but not too casual. a white t-shirt underneath an ivory button up, and tucked into some black dress pants. 

and, yeah, okay, sunghoon looks good. great, even. but heeseung?

he looks…

“…beautiful,” sunghoon doesn’t mean for it to come out sounding so awestruck—well, actually, he doesn’t mean for it to come out at all but it’s okay, because he gets to watch as heeseung’s cheeks redden, eyes widening owlishly. 

i’m done for, he thinks. 

alas, it’s gone only moments later. the older boy clears his throat and offers sunghoon a little grin. “thanks. you too, sunghoon-ah.”

it’s sunghoon’s turn to blush, suddenly far too aware of the fact that they’re kind of matching? color-wise, at least.

(like a couple, the annoying voice in the back of his mind whispers.)

and, you know what? it’s adorable. 

“okay, lovebirds. you guys have all day to make heart eyes at each other, get going already.” sunoo whines, voice raising an octave, and sunghoon only now realizes that their younger friend is even here. “i can’t watch this anymore.”

“okay, okay, we’re going.” heeseung laughs, and sunghoon is terribly infatuated. the older leisurely takes his time as he slips on his shoes despite sunoo’s impatiently tapping foot imposing a time limit on them. 

“hey. you better bring him home safe.” jongseong—jongseong’s here too? no, yeah, of course he is—stares him down.

though, sunghoon notes with a cheeky smile that it is significantly less threatening than it used to be. jungwon and jongseong have both been a lot more open with him after that day at the arcade—jongseong, especially; sunghoon would even dare to say that they’re quite fond of him. “you know i will.”

a smirk breaks out on jay’s face as he haphazardly swings an arm around sunghoon’s shoulder and (rudely) almost knocks him right off his feet. “yeah, i know. but if something does happen to him, jungwon’s gonna kick your ass. and then i’m gonna kick your ass.”

“and me, i will too!” sunoo chimes.

heeseung rolls his eyes like he’s annoyed—though the upwards curve of his lips says otherwise—and the action is subtle enough that he would’ve missed it if not for the fact that sunghoon literally hasn’t taken his eyes off of the elder ever since he opened the door. “what’d i say about being violent?”

“i’m kidding, i’m kidding.” jay sighs, finally nudging heeseung through the doorway and pulling said door closed right in their faces. right before the door closes, however, he adds: “mostly.”

“i don’t think he was kidding, hyung.”

“he wasn’t.”

“you rented an entire rink?” heeseung’s voice echoes as the boy takes in his surroundings, jaw dropped, eyes blown wide and sunghoon is so relieved to see that they’re sparkling with what he can only describe as excitement. 

or disbelief.

maybe both?

“well, kind of?” sunghoon grins as he guides heeseung over to a nearby seat and carefully sits the older down. “let’s just say that having parents that own a skating rink does have its perks.”

(offhandedly, he whines: “they did still charge me though.” heeseung huffs a laugh, and sunghoon smiles to himself at the pretty sound.)  

finding the right skates for both himself and heeseung doesn’t take any longer than a few minutes and, once they’re both laced up and ready to go, he manages to wrangle a helmet onto heeseung’s head despite the older boy insisting (repeatedly, and with way too much confidence for someone who’s never skated before) that he doesn’t need one. that’s another side of heeseung that he’s recently discovered, actually. how stubborn he can be sometimes. 

“now i just look stupid.” heeseung frowns, trying to adjust the helmet and sunghoon has to actively stop himself from cooing, because how can someone be that cute? the older boy’s nose is already beginning to turn red from the cold, and his frown ends up looking more like a pout than anything else. 

with an amused shake of his head, sunghoon steps onto the ice and glides smoothly, stopping a few paces away from the wall.

inhale, exhale, turn, smile.

it may have been a while since he’s been on the ice, but he’s in his element; the effect of his home rink has always been a calming one, and now, with heeseung here too, he feels like his world’s axis has shifted a little bit. nothing big, but definitely different. “are you coming, hyung?”

and heeseung follows, though he does hesitate a bit before taking a tentative step forward. 

…that tentativeness quickly reverts back to stubbornness once heeseung is actually on the ice.

“hyung, just hold onto my hand!” sunghoon only half-tries to stifle his laughter as he watches heeseung stumble on the ice with all the grace and balance of a newborn deer—how fitting, sunghoon thinks—the older shakes his head fervently, lips pursed in concentration. 

“wait wait, i’ll get it eventually!”

it’s cute when heeseung lets out little nervous yelps as he inches his way across the rink and it’s almost unbearably endearing when his strides get longer; he turns to sunghoon with the prettiest grin on his face, eyes bright with exhilaration. “look, sunghoon-ah! i’m doing it!”

the wind from the elder’s steadily increasing speed tussles his hair in a way that has sunghoon positively fucking reeling. his hair looks like a tangled mop on his head and sunghoon has pretty much no excuse for finding it as adorable as he does, and yet—he feels his heart do a triple flip right in his chest when he catches sight of heeseung’s lips jutting out in that focused pout of his, pretty hands running through the literal bird’s nest on his head in an admittedly sad (but still very cute) attempt at fixing it. 

wait a minute, sunghoon blinks. when did he even take the helmet off?

oh, whatever.

“you’re doing great, hyung!”

that’s an understatement though. to sunghoon’s surprise, heeseung is an extremely fast learner, even without sunghoon showing him the ropes. actually, scratch that. he’s not surprised at all. heeseung has proven time and time again that he really can do anything if he just puts his mind to it. at this point, sunghoon would honestly be more shocked to find something heeseung couldn’t do.

he’s even learned how to stop all on his own.

sunghoon learns this, filled with immense pride, when heeseung comes to a gradual stop in front of him—all breathless and beautiful and absolutely beaming. “how was that?”

it was amazing. 

this is the first time sunghoon has truly understood the meaning of the word breathtaking.

hyung, you’re amazing.

heeseung’s right there, smile radiant and expression expectant as he tilts his head in response to sunghoon’s blatant staring. 

expectant?

right, sunghoon still has to answer him. 

“you were great!” if his voice comes out sounding a bit more strangled than usual, heeseung (thankfully) doesn’t comment on it. “your hair’s all messed up though.”

he reaches out with a toothy grin, carding through the older boy’s hair. it doesn’t even cross his mind that, maybe, this is a bit… intimate for a first date. well—not until he takes a step back to check on heeseung’s hair, only to be faced with the elder burning red. 

oh.

oh.

heat rises to sunghoon’s cheeks.

abort abort abort. 

“aha…ha…” his feet start working before his brain does (is this a good thing or a bad thing?) and, before he knows it, he’s skating to the opposite side of the rink. “i’m gonna go—uh, do some stuff!”

“oh, wow.” heeseung breathes out, bringing his hands up to cup his cheeks in a futile attempt at cooling them down.

ironic, considering where they are right now.

speaking of where they are, actually.

he isn’t over the fact that sunghoon had remembered that he mentioned wanting to go ice skating. they only talked about it once, and yes, he really really wanted to go, but it’s not like he made that big of a deal out of it. he’s still not used to it yet—being heard, being seen. 

then again, heeseung thinks, bites back a fond smile as his gaze wanders off to search for the boy currently occupying his thoughts, sunghoon being all attentive and sweet isn’t anything new. he’s been like this since we met.  

he does end up finding sunghoon, and it seems the younger boy has taken to trying to skate off the embarrassment.

he’s so cute.

“hey, hyung—watch this!” 

now, heeseung isn’t that immersed in the skating world. he does know yuzuru hanyu, shoma uno, the shib sibs, and a few others from the time he had a short-lived but enthusiastic figure skating phase back in like, his freshman year of high school, but that’s about it.

(yes, he did watch yuri!!! on ice. yuuri and viktor’s relationship still makes him cry to this day.)

that being said, he knows enough to be able to tell that sunghoon is good. he isn’t on yuzu’s level, but it’s clear he’s at home out there on the ice—no kidding, he walks better on ice than he does on the ground. 

so cool, heeseung’s lips form a star-stuck ‘o’ when sunghoon flawlessly executes what heeseung’s pretty sure is a double loop (or maybe a toe loop?) a little ways away from him. it really is different when you see it in person, he practically gushes. wait a second! i can’t just let him show off the whole time. 

“sunghoon-ah!”

“yeah?”

heeseung grins. “wanna race?”

here’s another thing about sunghoon that heeseung loves—likes, he immediately corrects, flustered at his own thoughts.

anyways. what was he going on about again? oh, that’s right.

sunghoon is just as competitive as heeseung himself, if not even more-so. and so, predictably, the boy chuckles—heeseung scolds himself for thinking that confidence is a very good look on the younger—and speeds all the way over to him, coming to a cleanly abrupt stop and flinging some ice onto heeseung’s skates. “you’re on, hyung. but only if you put your helmet back on.”

a subconscious pout forms on heeseung’s lips, but he relents nonetheless, shoving the dumb unwieldy bucket back onto his head, though not without a disgruntled grumble. it’s ruining all of sunoo’s hard work but, “fine.”

he struggles a bit while trying to fasten it, and sunghoon, like the gentleman he is, leans closer to help him out. whether or not heeseung “struggled” on purpose for a reprise of their little moment earlier will remain a secret that he carries with him to his grave.

“come on, it’s not that bad.”

to heeseung’s embarrassment, he realizes he’s disappointed when sunghoon backs up a little after the job’s done. “you can’t speak. you’re not even wearing one.”

“don’t worry so much—it’s cute.” the smile sunghoon gives him is a subtle one, but heeseung would be a blind fool if he couldn’t recognize the way sunghoon’s eyes softened in that moment. “you look cute, hyung, promise.”

oh, wow. suddenly, he completely understands why sunghoon had run away before.

“first one to make three laps around the rink wins—okay-three-two-one-go!” 

“wh—hey! that’s not fair!”

they yell and laugh and cheer at the top of their lungs, and the sound of their skates gliding across the ice faster and faster reverberates throughout the entire rink. it’s like a little world just for the two of them; the energy is electrifying.

and it’s possible that heeseung gets just a little bit ahead of himself, because in an attempt to close the gap between himself and sunghoon, his balance fails him and a gasp escapes him at the realization that: oh shit, i’m falling.

his eyes squeeze shut to brace for the impact, but it never comes. 

“you can open your eyes, hyung.” heeseung can hear the grin in sunghoon’s voice, then sees it up close—oh so very close—when he listens to him and slowly cracks an eye open. “you okay?”

he registers the warm arms around his waist approximately two seconds later and, simply put, tries backing up a little too hard, a little too quickly, promptly sending the both of them tumbling over. 

in spite of the whole ordeal, the fall is filled with a symphony of giggles from the both of them—they slip and slide and turn and, once they’ve stopped, they share a laugh yet again. to anyone on the outside, they probably look insane, losing it over something so simple.

heeseung ends up flat on his back with sunghoon hovering over him. (he attributes this to sunghoon’s natural affinity for the ice giving him the advantage of better balance.) 

however, it’s with a (frankly) gross amount of affection that heeseung notes the presence of sunghoon’s hand on the nape of his neck, protecting his head from the fall. 

his heart swells.

with a long exhale, sunghoon lays down so that they’re side by side, but leaves his arm there for heeseung to rest his head on. 

a smug, “see? i told you the helmet was a good idea,” is the only response heeseung gets when he removes said helmet. 

“shush, you.”

the mood mellows a bit after that, as the two attempt to catch their breath. 

“you know hyung… you have a really bad habit of falling.” sunghoon breathes out, and it’s visible because of the cold. his nose is adorably red, his eyes are alight with amusement. 

…beautiful. 

heeseung finds that his words have abandoned him. 

sunghoon must be too good to be true. too good for heeseung. he looks, acts—feels, like a dream. one that heeseung is a bit afraid will fade away if he looks away for too long. he doesn’t say any of that though, just giggles and lets himself enjoy the moment. “only when you're there to catch me.”

it’s strange. they’re surrounded by ice, but heeseung hasn’t felt this warm in a long time.

Chapter Text

the next stop on their agenda (post spending all of their energy chasing each other around on the ice) is, as one may have guessed, to replenish said energy.

the trend thus far has been sunghoon refusing to tell heeseung where they’re going, only insisting that, “you’ll like it hyung!” and honestly, he’s right. at this point they could go pretty much anywhere and heeseung would be happy, so long as sunghoon’s there to keep him company. 

is it cringey? sure, a little bit. does he care? absolutely not.

(he deserves this, he thinks, right? maybe. probably.)

they’ve been walking for a while now, hands held and fingers slot perfectly between each others.

speaking of that, actually.

they’re holding hands!! heeseung can hardly believe it. he didn’t even have to ask! sunghoon just, held out his hand for him. 

oh god, i think i’m blushing again. 

as content as he is right now though, basking in the warmth of the sunlight on his skin and the charming little smile sunghoon aims towards him, he would kind of like to know where their next destination is.

just as he opens his mouth to ask (again), sunghoon jerks to a hard stop. 

heeseung scoots to the side a bit, leaning over to peep from around the younger boy, his eyes sparkling in curiousity. then, he gasps, barely able to conceal the excitement in his voice, “sunghoon-ah, is this—?”

“may~be,” sunghoon sing-songs, and heeseung pays careful attention to the satisfied grin playing on his lips. 

park sunghoon, i could kiss you. 

he wants to scream it out loud for the world to hear, but unfortunately, there are plenty of people around and heeseung is not without shame. therefore, he simply squeals it within the safety of his own mind and speeds through the doorway, pulling a chuckling sunghoon along with him.

“look how well it’s going!” sunoo squeals in a way that sounds like he’s trying to be quiet, only for the noise to end up more closely resembling a dying animal. he claps his hands together giddily, eyes shining with pride. “i can’t believe my two favorite hyungs are out there, on a date! and they haven’t embarrassed themselves yet!”

“hey!” jake and jay complain simultaneously, betrayed expressions mirroring each others perfectly. “i thought i was your favorite hyung.”

sunoo only shrugs, holding his hands up in defeat. “in my defense, i never said that.”

riki groans and slaps his hands over jongseong and jaeyun’s mouths. “shhh, hyungs. you’re gonna get us caught.” 

“oh, oh!” jungwon gasps, tries (and fails, but boy does he try) to keep his tone hushed as he slowly inches away from the conveniently placed wall that they’ve turned into their hideout. are they headed where he thinks they’re going?

“a dog café?” 

“oh my god, when did sunghoon-hyung of all people get good at romance?” 

the bell over the door chimes, signaling their arrival, and they’re immediately greeting by bounding dogs and tiny little bouncy puppies and heeseung’s smile grows so big that his cheeks start to hurt. 

a nudge at his leg has the older boy startling, and he finds himself blinking down at the cutest dog he’s ever seen. “hi there baby,” he coos, crouching down and offering the back of his hand to the little guy. he’s faced with big, curious eyes, and as the doggy sniffs at his hand, heeseung takes the chance to peek at his collar. 

bambi? 

heeseung’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “sunghoonie, look!” he flicks his head over to find sunghoon.

only to realize that the younger boy is already watching him, gaze soft, smile gentle. “hm?” sunghoon hums, the pleasant sound setting heeseung’s face alight. next thing he knows, the other boy is crouched down beside him. “what’s up, hyung?”

“oh, um…” heeseung blinks rapidly, giving his head a little shake and turning his attention back to bambi, who’s taken quite a liking to sunghoon, judging by the excited wagging of his cute little tail. “his name is the same as an old nickname of mine.”

“bambi?” he hears the grin in sunghoon’s voice before he sees it, and when they make eye-contact, heeseung’s heart nearly fucking bursts at the way sunghoon’s cute little fang peeks out. “i can see the resemblance.”

i’m not gonna survive this date. this is the end of me. biting back a bashful smile, heeseung averts his eyes. the direct eye-contact is just too much for his heart right now. “really?”

bambi yips like he’s trying to remind them that he’s there, earning endeared laughter from the both of them. the puppy tippy taps his paws on the floor, readying his tiny legs to hop into heeseung's lap, and the older melts. 

“aaah! sunghoon-ah, help—he’s so cute!” heeseung throws his head back, dissolving into a fit of giggles when bambi attacks him with little kisses.

“yeah…” sunghoon’s smile grows wider at heeseung’s subconscious nose scrunch, eyes bright with adoration. “yeah, he is.”

“ow, ow, ow—stop hitting me!” jongseong hisses, glaring at riki after the younger turns his head to the side, blinking innocently. 

“i didn’t do anything! besides, just look at them!” riki enthuses, trying his best to lay low despite being the tallest (and lankiest of the group). “i’ve never seen sunghoon-hyung so… not lame.”

it’s a good thing there’re enough dogs to both: distract heeseung and sunghoon (or, heehoon, as jaeyun suggested they call them), as well as semi-block heehoon’s view of their friends basically stalking them.

“here! i’ve got everyone’s drinks,” jungwon whispers, balancing an impressive amount of cups along his hands and arms. “what did i miss?”

“nothing much, just sunghoonie-hyung shooting heart-eyes at heeseungie-hyung whenever he’s not looking, heeseungie-hyung doing that thing where he shakes his hair out of his face when he gets shy,” sunoo regales, all smug and satisfied, counting each occurrence on his fingers. “sunghoonie-hyung getting all blushy when heeseungie-hyung drank from his coffee… the list goes on and on, actually. consider this the start of the honeymoon phase.”

“they’re so cute,” jaeyun sighs contentedly, chin resting on the palm of his hand as he spares a glance towards his best friend and favorite hyung.

they talk, and laugh, and play with puppies—the happiness radiating off of them is so strong that anyone could practically feel it, in the way they gravitate towards each other, in the way sunghoon’s arm catches heeseung around his waist as the older loses balance, and in the way heeseung always leans a little closer to listen carefully when sunghoon speaks. 

“i haven’t seen heeseungie-hyung this happy in a while.” jongseong smiles warmly, quietly, gaze softening. “it’s nice to see him having so much fun.”

jungwon makes a little noise of agreement, dimple popping up when he smiles, too. “i think we can leave now… those two will be just fine.”

on the way out, the five of them are so occupied with trying to sneak out without being caught that they miss the sight of a familiar face, eyeing their two friends. 

sunghoon’s poor heart really can’t take much more of this—it’s like heeseung just gets more and more lovable the more time they spend together. 

well, yeah, of course he does. duh, sunghoon, that’s literally how liking somone works.

(but like, his nickname is bambi? that’s fucking adorable.)

they’re taking a short stroll down the street now, after leaving the dog café. he doesn’t really have anything else planned for their date, but he also doesn’t want it to end just yet—he gets the feeling the heeseung feels the same way, too. he lets his eyes trail down to where their hands are connected, where heeseung had delicately laced their fingers together, face tinted pink. 

it’s then that the older comes to a stop, eyes widening in awe as he inches closer to the glass window of a cute little flower shop. “how pretty…”

a lightbulb goes off in sunghoon’s head, and his lips curve upwards as he taps on heeseung’s shoulder. “stay here for a sec, hyung, i’ll be right back.”

heeseung tilts his head questioningly, but ends up nodding. “hmm… m’kay.”

the bell rings with his entrance, and the first thing sunghoon is met with is a cheerful tune being hummed by a shorter man tending to a few flowers. 

“oh, hello!” the man—renjun, according to his nametag—greets, wiping his hands off on his apron. “how can i help you?”

“i was wondering, uh… would it be weird if i asked to buy just like, a single flower?” 

renjun laughs, shoving his hands in his arpon pocket and rocking back and forth on his feet. his air of openness has sunghoon relaxing a bit. “not at all! people ask that all the time, so no worries. is it for a special someone?”

red colors sunghoon’s cheeks, but he manages a little grin at the thought of heeseung anyways. “am i that obvious?”

“only a little,” the other replies, tone playful. “is there a specific flower you’re looking for? or something you’d like to say?”

“something i’d like to say?”

a smile forms on renjun’s face, the feeling somewhat nostalgic, as he hums. “yes, every flower means something. it’s like they have a language of their own.”

“then—” sunghoon coughs to hide the way his cheeks light up. “his favorite color is lavender… is it possible to get a lavender-colored flower?”

“i see~ follow me!”

sunghoon’s eyes are automatically drawn to all the colorful petals and fresh leaves that they pass by. it’s so fitting that heeseungie-hyung likes pretty flowers, he thinks, absolutely ridden with affection. 

“how about a lavender rose?” renjun asks, hand directing sunghoon’s eyes towards said rose. 

“it’s…” that’s it—that’s the one. the petals are a soft purple, and strangely enough, they fill sunghoon with a fuzzy type of warmth. “…perfect, what does it mean?”

renjun smiles again, knowingly. “love at first sight.”

oh.

“oh.” heat crawls up sunghoon’s neck, and you know what? he’s already embarrassed so he might as well go the whole ten yards. “d’you think this would stay, like, if i… y’know, put it in his hair—or something?”

amusement glints in renjun’s eyes at sunghoon’s floundering, and he stifles a snicker with his hand. after clearing his throat, he reaches into his pocket, fishing out a bobby pin. “i think i can help you with that.”

when sunghoon exits the flower shop, heeseung visibly perks up, pretty doe eyes brightening as he waves sunghoon over. “sunghoonie, over here!”

“i’m done for,” sunghoon mutters under his breath, heart knocking against his chest. his hand starts getting clammy as it holds the rose behind his back and he can only hope it doesn’t get all gross because that would seriously kill the romantic vibe he’s going for. 

“hey.” heeseung smiles, then blinks a few times, immediately noticing that sunghoon is hiding something. he doesn’t ask though, just tilts his head a little like he’d done earlier, lips pursed in a subtle pout. 

cute.

sunghoon swallows, pulling the rose out from behind him. “for you.”

the older boy stops, stares at the flower in sunghoon’s hand, eyes blown wide. “for… me?” heeseung repeats it like he can’t believe it. sunghoon takes note of the way his hyung’s voice softens. heeseung breathes the next words out no louder than a whisper: “it’s lavender…” 

“your favorite color,” sunghoon explains hastily, as if heeseung didn’t already know what his favorite color is. nice one, idiot.

he must’ve done something right though, because when heeseung looks up again, he’s beaming. “will you put it in my hair for me?”

the entire drive home is entirely too short, but it is dark out, after all, and sunghoon had insisted that he drop heeseung off at home before, and he quotes: “jay and jungwon kick my ass.”

what did heeseung do in his past life to deserve someone like sunghoon? he must’ve saved the goddamn country. 

it feels too good to be real—heeseung takes a second to reach for the rose tucked into his hair, a reminder that this is real. that sunghoon had remembered his favorite color, had bought him a flower to put in his hair, a flower in his favorite color!!

ice skating, dog café, flower shop… literally the date of my dreams. 

“did you have a good time today?” sunghoon breaks the comfortable silence in the car, and it’s subtle, but heeseung does catch a hint of nervousness in the younger boy’s voice.

cute.

heeseung nods, before realizing that sunghoon probably can’t see him (obviously, he’s driving) and mentally kicks himself in the shin. “i had an amazing time, sunghoon-ah.” he smiles, playing with the sleeves of his sweater. “i hope you did too.”

“i did,” the younger answers, a smile of his own pulling at his lips. “but i always have a good time when i’m with you.”

“ohhh, look at you.” heeseung teases, if only to distract from the fact that he’s currently admiring sunghoon’s side profile. “someone’s getting bold.”

sunghoon’s smile turns into a grin as he laughs, eyes crinkling happily at the corners.

(he could be a model, literally.)

when they get to heeseung’s apartment complex, sunghoon insists on walking heeseung to his door, and, well… it’s not like heeseung’s gonna decline.  

once they get there, though, it’s hard to say goodbye—even though, realistically, they’ll be seeing each other on campus the next day. 

heeseung swings their hands lightly, still holding each other as a way to “stay warm.” an excuse, of course, and he can’t even remember which one of them even made it anymore.

“i guess i should probably let you go now, huh?”

“one more thing, sunghoonie.” when sunghoon makes a curious little noise, heeseung smiles. “can you close your eyes first? i have something for you too.”

understanding, or realization, or something, flashes in the younger boy’s eyes—sunghoon really can’t hide his laughter, can he? heeseung knows he’s been caught, but still. “c’mon, it’s supposed to be a surpriseee…”

“okay, okay.”

okay, heeseung, come on. it’s just a peck on the cheek. you can do this.

the older leans in to plant a quick little kiss on sunghoon’s cheek, pulling away as soon as sunghoon’s eyes are open again. 

they’re both smiling like fools when heeseung whispers: “good night, sunghoon. thank you for today.”

Chapter Text

"they're genuinely unbearable." riki groans, eyeing his hyungs with an air of mild judgment and wrinkling up his nose at the sight of heeseung and sunghoon visibly swooning over one another, paying absolutely no mind to fact that their whole friend group is also present. (not really.) he's actually very relieved that both of his hyungs are getting along so well—not that he'd ever be caught dead admitting anything that cringy out loud. 

okay, but in all honesty—he was a bit worried that sunghoon would be alone forever and end up turning into an old man with a million cats or something. a valid concern, considering how socially inept and awkward his older cousin could be at times. as for heeseung-hyung, with the way his luck was going, he could've ended up with another shithead boyfriend. and, because of this, riki might've—big emphasis on might've—secretly wished on the stars that his hyungs would start dating and have a happy and healthy relationship once. or twice. maybe every night until they finally got their shit together.

(no one can ever find out about this. he'd get teased about it for the rest of his life.)

but, uh. that being said. if he had to describe their honeymoon phase with one word, it would definitely be unbearable.

it's saturday, approximately two weeks since their first date, and they've been virtually inseparable ever since. riki should've known better than to agree to hang out with all of his hyungs at the mall—his poor, poor eyes.

"they're so pure it's blinding me," jongseong adds. he squints, blinking repeatedly in disbelief. "…is it just me or are they sparkling?”

"it’s like they’re the main leads of a shojo manga.”

"oh come on, i think they're cute!" jaeyun laughs, grinning away like an idiot as he peeks over at their resident couple. they're just off in their own little world over there, taking turns picking out clothes for each other, just to hold them up to each others' bodies and giggle their little heads off. "just let them enjoy themselves. they've been pining for too long."

"for real." sunoo nods vigorously, already claiming his position as the number one heehoon supporter, arms crossed. "you wanna know what was unbearable? you and sunghoonie-hyung, jake-hyung."

jungwon chokes on his iced tea, sputtering as riki slaps him on the back in panic. he looks back up after (somewhat) recovering, eyes red and teary. "w-what?"

with a thoughtful hum, jay nudges riki's hand aside to rub jungwon's back soothingly. "you and sunghoon? really?" 

riki snorts, amused little smirk on his lips. "here we go again."

"i mean, yeah, for a little bit." jaeyun sighs, tone filled with infinite layers of profound regret. oh, the shame. the shame runs deep. he reaches a hand behind his head to scratch at the back of his neck sheepishly. "you know that thing kids do sometimes where they just like. agree to marry each other when they graduate high school or something?" 

jongseong raises an eyebrow. "yeah?"

"yeaaah... we did that. dated, that is. obviously we didn't get married."

"why were they unbearable?" jungwon automatically gravitates towards sunoo and latches onto his side, similar to how he does it whenever they have class together. "like they were just too cute together?" 

"oh, no no. they were a train-wreck." sunoo, unfazed, locks his arm with jungwon's and giggles. "they were so bad at dating. they literally can't function as anything but friends. totally threw off the whole group's vibes for a while." 

"we lasted a month, tops." to hide the sheer pain (read: absolute delight; he loves bringing this shit up to annoy sunghoon) in his eyes, jake brings a hand up to cover them. he only partially tries to hold back his laughter. "speaking of tops, actually—"

"if you're about to say what i think you're gonna say, please don't." jongseong cuts him off, scrunching up his nose. "i really, truly, genuinely don't need to know."

"yeah! and there's a baby here, have some decency," riki agrees fervently, throwing his arms around jay's shoulders and leaning all of his weight onto the older boy despite his disgruntled groan. 

"what?" jaeyun's eyes widen, head whipping around to scan their surroundings, but he's only able to find: 1. heeseung and sunghoon practically skipping over to the fitting rooms, and 2. other probably university-aged people trying to shop in spite of their group being obnoxiously loud (mostly unintentionally). "what baby?"

jungwon snickers, and sunoo jabs a thumb in riki's direction. "that one."

"oh—hey jay, jungwonie, sunoo! didn't expect to run into you guys."

"hm?" at the mention of their names, the three turn around—riki and jaeyun do too, of course (don't judge them for it, it's not like they can help being curious).

oh, fuck no. the atmosphere turns noticeably sour when jongseong's eyes narrow subtly, giving a curt nod of acknowledgement to the guy who had interrupted them. "...kyungwoo-hyung."

there's a spark of recognition in riki's eyes at the name. that's the one who was mean to heeseungie-hyung. the youngest turns his head to the side in a poor attempt to hide the obvious scowl he knows must be on his face. riki doesn't know any of the specifics or details about their relationship, but honestly? he doesn't need to. all he knows is that this 'kyungwoo' guy is on his fucking watch list. and he has stupid hair. stupid, ugly, mustard blond. ugh.

"kyungwoo-hyung... hi!" even sunoo is unable to muster anything more than an empty greeting, lips curled into something only vaguely resembling a smile. (does it sound fake? yes. does he care? god no.) i hope all his hair falls out. 

well... i'm definitely missing something here. jaeyun awkwardly bounces back an forth on the tips of his toes in lieu of contributing to the conversation—if you could even call it that. this kyungwoo guy shows up and his friends are immediately on-guard and quite honestly, kinda hostile. so, uh, that can't be good.

"hey, so... by any chance, is heeseungie with you guys?" kyungwoo asks, though he's clearly distracted as his head turns in all directions, presumably trying to look for heeseung himself. "it's been a while since i've seen—"

"sorry, but no." jungwon hums politely, cutting the newcomer off with a visibly strained smile, despite the fact that—truthfully, there is nothing he would like to do more than kick this dolt in the shin. he's really trying to hold back though, because he's a mature, peaceful boy, and it would be wrong of him to use his past taekwondo experience on someone who probably couldn't hold his own against him. heeseung would also disapprove of this, but, boy does he wanna. "heeseungie-hyung's got a lot of homework to catch up on, so he decided to stay home."

"ah, i see."

because jake isn't as clueless as sunghoon (no offense intended) when it comes to these things, he furrows his brows, looking off to the side, squinting like he's trying to remember something. jaeyun perks up, pretending to have a little 'eureka!' moment and throwing an arm around jongseong's shoulders, eyeing the older boy with a questioning look. "i thought heeseungie-hyung said something about going to study at a dog café or something. or am i remembering wrong?"

and, as expected, jay doesn't miss a beat. he frowns, making a thoughtful little noise. "...he might've, but i don't remember what time he said he was going..."

"well—i'll leave you guys to your shopping. whenever you see heeseung, tell him hi for me, would you?"

kyungwoo is then strangely quick to wave the group goodbye (thankfully), heading off to the opposite end of the store which is also, coincidentally, near the exit.

"as if," jungwon huffs under his breath. 

"what a weirdo." riki rolls his eyes. "nice save though, jake-hyung."

sunoo claps his hands together lightly, grinning proudly at jaeyun. "yeah, i'm honestly impressed. i didn't think you had it in you to lie like that, hyung!"

jaeyun opens his mouth to say thank you, but closes it again after a moment of consideration. "i... is that a compliment?" 

"it is, that was great." jay sighs, squinting off into the distance and wishing he'd brought his glasses. i should rip the all the seams on his backpack. that'll teach him not to mess with heeseungie-hyung. "you're confused though, right?"

"extremely. explain please."

they all saw that one coming. it's weird; ever since their friend groups blended together, it's like they collectively forgot that jake and sunghoon weren't a part of the whole kyungwoo situation. it just feels so natural for them all to hang out together, like that's the way it's always been. 

"i'll explain," jungwon starts, pausing for a second to shoot off a quick text to heeseung and let his hyungs know where to find them, "but let's move to the food court first. i'm hungry, and those two are gonna take a while."

once everyone's gotten their respective meals—well, as much of a meal as you could consider the overpriced fast food they have in the food court—they all squeeze into the nearest available booth (jungwon happily scoots halfway onto jay's lap to make room for the others) and start munching away.

"okay, so why exactly do we hate that guy? kyungwoo, right? was that his name?" jaeyun blinks rapidly, eyes wide and curious as he turns his head side-to-side to look each of his friends in the eye. he takes a sip of his cola, scrunching his nose up in displeasure at how carbonated it is. damn, should've gone for coffee. "i'm assuming it has to do with heeseungie-hyung, maybe...?"

jungwon's eyes narrow, his lips downturned, which tells jaeyun that, without a doubt, it has to do with heeseungie-hyung. the younger boy grows more and more aggressive with the way he starts angrily jabbing his french fries into the ketchup, like his food had somehow wronged him. "kyungwoo-hyung's his ex. his stupid, dumb, mean ex."

riki raises a hand to interject with: "you forgot the part where he's an ugly, backstabbing fuck nugget."

"he—" sunoo chokes on his food, preoccupied with laughing his ass off. his signature eye-smile is as bright as ever as he smacks riki on the arm. "yah! he's a what?"

"you heard me," the youngest sniffs indignantly, throwing a chip into his mouth for dramatic emphasis. (when sunoo looks away, riki wordlessly moves his little cup of strawberries onto the older boy's plate.) "he's a fuck nugget."

"where'd you learn to get so creative with your profanity?" jongseong snorts, knowing fully well that riki must've picked it up from hearing one too many late night conversations between himself and sunghoon, and jaeyun. 

jake, meanwhile, nods along in agreement the whole time. "okay, yeah, that makes sense. i'm team hashtag kyungwoo is over party. but like, what'd he do?" 

"...we don't actually know any of the details," jungwon scratches at his head, before a little frown forms on his lips. "but the day they broke up? heeseungie-hyung was upset. like really upset. he looked like he could've cried. and heeseungie-hyung doesn't cry, ever. he didn't really wanna talk about it either, so i didn't ask."

"all we know is that it had something to do with a classmate of hyung's, minji-noona." jay's eyebrows furrow, and he's actually trying to think back and remember this time. "we were never all that close to her, but i think she used to be pretty good friends with heeseung-hyung. they're both biomed majors, so they shared a lot of classes together."

"did they ever like, like each other?" jaeyun asks, already trying to put the pieces together in his head.

stabbing a strawberry onto his fork, sunoo shakes his head easily. "no way. hyung's a flaming homosexual."

"they did stop talking at some point though," riki chimes in, swiping sunoo's sandwich to steal a quick bite. 

"yah, just take half." sunoo meets the youngest's eyes and nods his head towards the aforementioned sandwich, before turning his attention back to the rest of his friends.

and, because they can be awfully obnoxious when they want to be, jay smirks, and jaeyun's eyes glint with amusement.

jungwon eyes him with a smug little smile and wiggles his eyebrows. pink rises to sunoo's cheeks and jungwon revels in his absolutely immaculate observational skills. "anyway, it for sure involved kyungwoo-hyung, he's such a... ugh, i don't know, he's such a—"

"fuck nugget," riki provides, entirely genuine, causing jongseong to nearly fall out of his seat at the edge because he's so busy cracking the fuck up.

"yes, thank you," jungwon continues, unable to stop himself from snorting. "i'm just not completely sure about what happened between the three of them. kyungwoo-hyung used heeseungie-hyung to make minji-noona jealous i think... i dunno why, or how their friendship ended, but no doubt it's kyungwoo-hyung's fault."

after composing himself once more, jay coughs to clear his throat. "well, congrats. you're all caught up and an official kyungwoo-anti."

"thank you, thank you," jaeyun hums. a few seconds pass before he tilts his head questioningly, bottom lip stuck out in consideration. "but, uh, how come he's trying to talk to heeseungie-hyung again then?"

"no idea," jongseong responds.

"he can't be up to anything good." sunoo huffs. "you think hyung knows?"

"...no idea." jongseong furrows his brows. he and jungwon make eye-contact, and in that moment, they're both thinking the same thing: if heeseungie-hyung knew, he’d tell us, right?

heeseung is slow to exit the comforting security of his closed fitting room, face marred with a small frown when he looks himself up and down in the mirror. it's a little, well... out of his comfort zone, to say the least. high-waisted, wide-legged white jeans, and a pastel pink cropped sweater. and sure, it's undeniably cute, he does like it a lot. the sweater's got really long sleeves, which is preferable since heeseung isn't always the most comfortable showing too much of his arms. the color is really pretty—pink isn't his favorite color, but he's got some fond memories associated with it.

this specific shade reminds him of that one time back in high school where he, jungwon, sunoo, and jongseong made cute little flower crowns together after school. it was really just heeseung and sunoo scheming a way to help jungwon and jay's relationship progress past the mutual pining stage. (it worked.)

but, regardless of how happy the sweater's color makes him, it's still a bit more cropped than what he's used to. it doesn't show much... but he's a little anxious about people being able to see his stomach.

i don't know... i'm sure the sweater would look better on sunoo, and these jeans are more jungwon's style than mine... maybe i should get them to try it on instead. heeseung peers into the mirror again, reluctantly looking over his shoulder. he's not trying to pick apart his entire appearance, he really isn't, but it's so hard not to. 

there's this voice in the back of his head, telling him exactly what's wrong with him.

a familiar one.

("you should probably wear something else."

"heeseung-ah, to be honest—i’m not really a fan of your outfit today."

"you’re trying a little too hard, don’t you think?”)

his mood deflates as he worries at his bottom lip. he'd been really excited to go shopping for some new clothes, but...

...i just don’t look good in it.

"sunghoon-ah?" heeseung calls out, unsure. it's instinct that has him pulling his sleeves down past his hands; he fidgets uncomfortably, positioning his arms so that they cover the area where his sweater rides up. "d'you think it's too... cutesy for me?" 

"be there in a minute!"

"oh." sunghoon's mouth shuts as soon as he sets eyes on heeseung and—oh god he knew it, it must look so awful on him—

"hyung..." the younger breathes out, breaking into a toothy grin and making his way over to where heeseung is standing. heeseung feels his heart flutter when sunghoon holds eye-contact with him through the mirror. "you look amazing."

oh. 

well. it's... gonna be a while before he gets used to this whole dating thing again. and it's gonna take even longer for him to get used to dating someone like sunghoon. oh wow, sunghoon is his boyfriend. 

(not that anyone asked, but he's had this thought at least twice a day ever since they started dating.)

"you really think so?" heeseung asks, hopeful. his gaze drops as he picks at the hem of the sweater, unable to keep the pleased expression off of his face at the compliment. he smiles to himself shyly. "i look okay? you like it?”

"ah, ah. not just okay—you look pretty, heeseungie-hyung," his boyfriend (boyfriend!) assures, gently taking one of heeseung's hands in his own and giving it an encouraging squeeze. "very, very pretty. besides, if you like it, i like it. just wear what makes you happy, hyung.”

unsurprisingly, heeseung barely even thinks before tugging sunghoon a little closer by his hand and planting a quick kiss on his cheek, nose scrunched up in a happy grin. "thanks, sunghoonie."

pink tints his cheeks afterwards—when his brain finally catches up with the rest of him. but, if he's not mistaken, sunghoon's flushed, too. 

sunghoon promptly coughs, clearing his throat as he nods vigorously. "y-yeah, of course. no problem." 

what'd i do to deserve you, sunghoon-ah? heeseung's heart skips a beat; fondly, he hums, "i have a few more clothes to try on, is that okay?"

"of course! it's not like we're in any rush, plus, i still have some clothes to try on too."

"ooooh." heeseung's eyes brighten with excitement. his shopping addiction is showing but he truly doesn't even care. and no, his enthusiasm has nothing to due with any the following factors: 1. he saw sunghoon picking up a really nice blazer earlier and 2. heeseung is extremely weak for guys wearing business casual in general and also, 3. park sunghoon in business casual. okay—so maybe that has a little bit to do with it, but can you blame him? have you seen sunghoon? he literally has the face of an idol. or like, a model. "lemme see, lemme see!"

said sunghoon just smiles, shaking his head. "you try on the rest of yours first, hyung. i wanna see you in all your pretty clothes."

oh my god, did my heart literally just do a flip? i thought that was just a saying—

that one comment sends all of the butterflies in heeseung's stomach fluttering around in a frenzy. his cheeks burn as he rolls his eyes, a failed attempt to hide the delighted smile slowly lighting up his face. "you're such a flirt, sunghoon-ah."

"what, is it a crime to admire my pretty boyfriend in his pretty clothes?" the younger boy blinks, shoulders shrugged and hands held up in defense. 

this time heeseung rolls his eyes for real, earning a grin from his boyfriend—one that he can't help but smile at. "yeah, yeah, whatever," he sighs, turning away to go head back to the the fitting room. though, admittedly, he sounds far more endeared than he does exasperated. "i'm gonna go try on clothes!"

he ignores sunghoon laughing behind him.

then, once he closes the door, he leans back against it for a minute to compose himself, gently cupping his cheeks like that'd stop them from glowing red. (it doesn't.) 

pretty, huh? heeseung peeks into the mirror, smiling to himself—a small, secretive, smitten little thing. stupid, he muses, affectionate. i like him so so much. 

it's like sunghoon doesn't even have to try; he so effortlessly pushes heeseung's insecurities aside, and somehow... he does it all without heeseung ever asking him for it. he's too good to me.

"aaah!" he squeals—quietly, so as to not disturb anyone else with his mushy feelings—and does his little happy dance around the tiny fitting room, arms swinging around haphazardly and body swaying from side-to-side. it's not until he's successfully calmed himself down that he notices the text jungwon had sent him... which was apparently fifteen whole minutes ago. 

oops. 

sunghoon and heeseung spend their remaining time trying on clothes for each other and approving of literally every piece of clothing that they try on, including the accidentally matching fluffy jackets that they both chose, despite finding them individually. (heeseung's is baby blue, while sunghoon's is a royal blue.)

this ultimately leads to heeseung's steadily growing collection of items raising his total cost until the point where, if he tries hard enough, he can hear his wallet crying out for help. 

"okay, some of this has gotta go," heeseung says with determination, right before they enter the check-out line. however, that determination soon turns into a displeased little pout when he has to actually decide what has to go. "sunghoonie, do you think i should put this cardigan back? or maybe these t-shirts instead?"

"why don't you treat yourself, hyung? you aced all your midterms, right?" sunghoon suggests, indulging in his favorite form of pda by holding heeseung's free hand in his own. 

"well, i don't wanna spend too much." the older boy gives sunghoon's hand a small squeeze, shyly averting his eyes and murmuring under his breath, "...and, y'know—i'd rather keep our matching jackets than the other stuff anyway." 

my heart. sunghoon is fucking melting. could his boyfriend be any cuter?

he wants couple items! sunghoon also wants couple items!!

a lightbulb goes off in his head in that exact moment. sunghoon did recently get paid, and he has another gig soon, so he's got some money to spare. what better way to spend it than on heeseung? "how about i buy them for you then?"

this isn't coming on too strong, right? he's pretty sure it's normal for people to buy stuff for their significant others... or is this too soon? no, wait. it’s also normal for people to buy stuff for their friends, and they were friends before they started dating, so if the math checks out right, this is a perfectly normal interaction. 

his brain hurts.

he watches with bated breath as heeseung’s pretty doe eyes go wide, before he turns his face away again. the older takes a second to think—looking off to the side like he’s remembering something. slowly, he starts shaking his head. "i don’t wanna make you spend your money on me…"

he sounds sad. sunghoon frowns. no, why does he sound so sad? fix it fix it fix it.

"you’re not making me, hyung." he reassures gently, genuinely. sunghoon takes special care in intertwining their fingers. "i’m offering—i want to."

"…are you sure?” heeseung hesitantly asks, eyes shining imploringly (adorably) as he looks to sunghoon for confirmation. sunghoon’s noticed that heeseung has an incredibly endearing habit of swinging their hands subconsciously whenever they’re holding each other, just as he’s doing right now. 

it’s cute, of course, but it also makes him a little… sad? he wonders who heeseung has dated before, what kind of relationships he’s had for him to be taken aback so often when sunghoon so much as compliments him, or shows his affection with little touches or romantic gestures.

maybe he’ll ask heeseung about it some time.

then again, the only person sunghoon’s ever dated is jake so what does he know.

"really, really, really, seriously, totally sure." sunghoon swears, nodding solemnly in an attempt to lighten his boyfriend's mood. his heart swells at the way heeseung almost immediately brightens--how he breaks into a full-bodied laugh. he wasn't sure if the joke would land or not, but jungwon had once mentioned heeseung's die-hard love for wanna one, so he thought it was worth a shot. mission accomplished. good job, sunghoon, good job. 

later, as they make their way through the check-out line, heeseung nudges him in the side with his elbow. 

"hm?"

"you know, my bias was ong seongwu. i voted for him religiously." heeseung smiles right then, eyes glinting mischievously. "i always thought he was the most handsome." 

"wh—i'm right here," sunghoon whines, though it's really just for show. (ong seongwu is indeed insanely handsome, there's no denying that.) he knows heeseung knows this too, but it amuses the older boy nonetheless; heeseung giggles, rushing off to the cashier, and sunghoon feels all butterflies in his stomach wake up simultaneously. "hyung, wait for me! did you forget i'm paying?"

"you don't have to keep walking me to class, sunghoon-ah," heeseung teases, but doesn't bother hiding his dumb little lovesick smile or his dumb little lovesick giggles as he jabs his boyfriend with his elbow. "i'm a big boy, i can make it on my own."

sunghoon may roll his eyes, but the big old grin on his face says otherwise. "i'm trying to be romantic here, hyung. don't pretend you don't love it," he wiggles his eyebrows annoyingly (but like, in an endearing way). 

he's right of course, heeseung does love it. though, to be completely honest, sunghoon is kind of just, effortlessly romantic? he's not perfect by any means, but he tries his hardest (like how he insists on walking heeseung to class despite the fact that sunghoon’s own class is on the opposite side of campus) and he's ditzy and a total loser and heeseung is incredibly, absolutely, 100% smitten with him. 

it's only their third week as an official couple and heeseung would be embarrassed about keeping track if it weren't for that one time he'd accidentally caught sunghoon sending jake a text that said, verbatim: "it's mine and heeseung-hyung's third week-aversary now CONGRATULATE ME" followed by “actually you know what, it’s also our two month friend-aversary CONGRATULATE ME X2 LOSER.” he then proceeded to forward said texts to jay as well. other than that, which is now their favorite inside joke, it's still early enough on in their relationship that there're still times where they can both get a little awkward—but heeseung cherishes those moments deeply.

it's the little things, like how whenever they call, they never know how to hang up so they end up fumbling and cutting each other off by accident.

("oops, sorry," heeseung laughs when sunghoon picks up his call again, the younger boy letting out a deep sigh.

"you did that on purpose, didn't you?")

there was also that one time sunghoon had driven him home after they went out to see a movie, and they stayed in the car for a while because they weren't ready to say good night just yet. (heeseung would hereby like to clarify that the mood at the time was indeed romantic, and the perfect atmosphere for some romantic shenanigans.) they did the whole shebang—they flirted, looked tenderly into each other's eyes, and then... sunghoon tried to lean over and kiss him, only to be stopped dead in his tracks mere inches away from heeseung's face by the seatbelt he'd unfortunately forgotten to unbuckle. it was hilarious (for heeseung); he laughed so hard he literally shed a tear. sunghoon, on the other hand, looked mortified.

(when heeseung cheekily asked for a good night kiss at the door of his apartment, sunghoon just laughed and kissed him on the cheek instead. 

"i want a do-over, this isn't fair.")

it's not until heeseung feels a hand taking his own that his train of thoughts is derailed. and, after realizing that he's been quiet for a little too long, starts swinging their hands lightly. "well, if you really wanna be romantic, you could always give me a piggyback ride," he hums. 

"sounds like a challenge to me," sunghoon grins, canines peeking out. "you think i won't do it? wanna bet?”

"kidding, kidding. relax, i don't want people to stare at us." the flabbergasted laugh is half-way out of heeseung's mouth before he can even register what sunghoon said. "what is it with you guys and always taking everything as a challenge anyway? it's an 02z thing, isn't it?"

(heeseung can also be very competitive at times, but he chooses not to mention that.)

with that, he looks away. however.

this, you see, was his fatal mistake.

next thing he knows, sunghoon's arms are under his knees and he's literally being scooped up, oh god. 

"this is not a piggyback ride!" heeseung shrieks, hanging on for his fucking life as sunghoon speeds up. he grips onto sunghoon's shoulders with a level of desperation that one could only achieve when on the brink of death. "park sunghoon—yah, let me down!"

(at least if he dies here, he won't have to take his physics quiz tomorrow.)

he laughs, fond and breathless, when sunghoon startles and lets out a disgusted yelp—all because of a friendly little bee buzzing by. "what kind of loser is scared of a bee? they're so cute!"

"dogs are cute, hyung. that thing could've killed me," the younger grumbles under his breath, gently bouncing heeseung in his arms to adjust his position.

loser.

"so," heeseung wiggles around a bit to get more comfortable, resting his head against sunghoon's chest. and comfortable he is, smiling up at sunghoon. despite this, he is just a little conscious of the fact that people are for sure staring at them. though, the staring feels less of an entertained or confused 'what are those people doing?' and a lot more... hostile? well, maybe not hostile per se, but it's uncomfortable and definitely not friendly. "are you gonna put me down?"

"nope," sunghoon replies, popping the 'p.'

"yeah, okay."

"hyung," taehyun whispers, about ten minutes into their physics lecture, accompanied with a soft poke at heeseung's arm. the younger boy takes on a teasing tone when he asks: "you're dating park sunghoon, right?"

"mhm." heeseung nods, lips automatically curling into a little smile at the reminder of his boyfriend (that's right, his boyfriend). "how'd you know?"

they both pause for a second to make note of their professor's advice on what to focus on for their next exam—their third one of the semester, which means there's only one more before finals week starts. it's going by way too fast. heeseung and taehyun share a look, and shudder.

the conversation resumes once the topic shifts back to wave optics. grinning, taehyun nudges him by the shoulder. "well, to be honest i heard it floating around campus a while ago, i just wanted to check with you if it was true, especially with it being sunghoon and all."

he didn't know taehyun and sunghoon knew each other, but he guesses it makes sense, they're both in the same year.

"i didn't realize people were still so invested in campus couples." he winces, pink coloring his cheeks when he realizes how mushy he and sunghoon act sometimes—something that was only brought to his attention after they all went out for a group shopping trip and their friends stated that, from now on, they would like to keep a safe distance from them in public because they are, and he quotes, "cavity-inducing". (they were joking but it's kinda true... listen, sunghoon and heeseung are just affectionate, okay?) "oh god."

i hope no one saw us feeding each other cupcakes the other day. 

"it's fine," taehyun giggles. "i'm sure you're adorable together."

in an effort to distract himself, heeseung pulls up his physics notes on his ipad, only to flush red when he sees what the daydreamy, lovesick heeseung of a couple weeks ago had written. or more accurately, drawn. the abundance of squiggles and hearts with sunghoon's name scrawled in with pink all over the page. and in the tiniest handwriting up in the corner, repeating doodles of 'park heeseung' and 'lee sunghoon' and 'park-lee' staring back at him. he doesn't remember doing that. "i hate myself."

"don't we all," his friend sighs.

the snort that leaves his lips after he peeks at heeseung's notes makes him kind of want to smack him, but he's a pacifist so he decides against it. "don't you have to go figure out your little love triangle with beomgyu and hyuka or something?"

"heeseungie-hyung, please shut up."

heeseung stifles his laugh when a classmate sends them an annoyed glare.

Chapter Text

sorry that this isn’t an update :( but the next chapter is currently in the works, i promise!! this is more just a poll/survey kinda thing. i’ll probably delete it after the next chapter is posted. 

(edit: actually i think i’ll delete it once i get to the point where i start incorporating the usernames, just in case anyone else wants theirs in here! <3)

at some point in the future, i’ll be needing some usernames for… something (wink wink)

so… i was wondering, would anyone like their username to be featured in a future chapter? :0 

one more thing: would like, little in-between chapters (kind of like fun filler episodes) that don’t necessarily contribute to the plot but still take place during the time line interest anyone? maybe focused on the other enha boys? i’d probably title them like “interlude: [insert title]” to differentiate them from normal chapters 

if not, that’s totally fine :] it’s just an idea i’ve had for a while

your opinions would be very much appreciated :D thanks for stopping by!! <333

Chapter Text

lee heeseung, at the ripe old age of nine years old, decides that he is never ever ever going to cry again--at least, not while jungwonie or jongseongie are around to see it. his own eyes are nearly dry at this point; he's more panicked than a child should ever have to be, far too occupied with comforting the sobbing boys clinging onto him to try and process his own thoughts and feelings.

it was a gradual build up, all beginning a few weeks back when one of the boys in heeseung's class started being mean, picking on him whenever he had the chance to--heeseung couldn't understand why at the time.

the boy would pull on heeseung's hair, hide his stuff when he wasn't looking, trip him whenever they walked past each other--then point and laugh with his friends when heeseung would inevitably fall. heeseung stayed quiet. he hoped that, maybe if he just didn't react, then they'd get bored and eventually stop. (they didn't.) he never said a word, not even when his eomma would frown, worriedly asking where those bruises on his leg had come from.

rather than tell the truth and worry her even more, heeseung laughed--all bright and warm and uncaring as he kicked his feet back and forth from his comfy little spot on the kitchen counter. "don't worry! i'm okay, eomma. i was just playing too hard and i fell..."

"again, baby?" his mother would let out a fond sigh, hands gentle as she cleaned up the little scratch on her son's leg. she knew heeseung was particularly squeamish when it came to these things, so she worked quickly. it certainly helped that heeseung always perked right up again when it came to choosing his band-aids.

and how could he not? they were special pokémon band-aids!

(his absolute most favorite one was togepi, by the way.)

eomma would kiss him on the forehead and softly boop him on the nose until he became all giggly, swatting her hand away half-heartedly; everything got better again whenever she did that, at least in the moment. heeseung beamed up at his mom when she took his hand after helping down from the counter--holding hands had always made him feel so safe and protected, like nothing could hurt him. "you've got to be more careful, seung-ah~ i don't want my little bambi getting hurt, okay?" 

"yes, eomma!" he chirped, startling when he felt a small tug at his sleeve. "hm?"

"me too, me too!" jungwon always insisted--rather cutely--on getting band-aids of his own whenever heeseung got them. 

("if heeseungie-hyung's hurt, i'm hurt!!" his baby brother would huff, tiny hands placed on his hips sassily, just as he'd seen their mother do hundreds of times.)

of course, since jongseong was brought over for playdates all the time, he'd also slap a band-aid on to match the other two.

("because we're best friends, hyung!" jongseong would grin proudly, chest puffed out adorably.)

one day, that mean classmate went a little too far, shoving heeseung off of the swing set at the playground, hard. sure, it hurt, but that wasn't what made him finally cry. it was that the other kids laughed too. it didn't matter if they looked a bit guilty or felt bad after they did it--they were his friends, weren't they? he was always nice to everyone just like his eomma taught him to be, he helped his classmates if they had a hard time with the assignments their teacher gave them, he shared his toys and snacks and the cute stickers and pokémon band-aids his mom would buy for him.

maybe he was being dramatic, but... but it hurt.

heeseung hated not being liked, he hated feeling like it was all his fault, like he did something wrong, like he deserved it. he didn't like feeling left out or being the center of so much negativity--he hated it, he hated it so much--it made him feel icky and gross and made it hard to breathe and he wanted it to stop.

it was so hard to keep himself from bursting into tears right in front of them. heeseung had to bite down on his lip until it hurt to keep the sad whimper from escaping him as he stood up, had to pretend he didn't hear them calling him names behind his back when he turned to go find his teacher.

"hmph, loser."

"teacher's pet!"

"no one likes a tattletale!"

before he knew it, his eomma had come to rescue him, a confused jungwon and jongseong following closely behind her. she pulled him into her arms and mumured reassurances into his hair. he didn't listen when his teacher and mother stepped aside to talk, they looked too serious and worried and he was afraid he'd cry if he did.

he didn't make eye-contact with jongseong or jungwon during the ride home either--he was afraid he'd cry if he did.

the moment his mom opened the front door, he rushed to his room as fast as he could, hastily climbing into bed and hiding himself away from the world underneath the safety of his blanket. heeseung's eyes watered as he reached out a trembling hand for his comfort stuffie--the bambi he'd gotten for his birthday last year. 

he hugged bambi close as he cried and cried--he cried until he ran out of tears, until he was too tired to cry anymore. 

it didn't take too long for his bedroom door to open up again afterwards. jongseong frowned from where he hesitantly stood in the doorway, one hand on the knob, the other holding onto an already crying jungwon.

heeseung swipes at the remaining tears in his eyes one last time before re-focusing.

there's no use in continuing to think about it when he's just gonna have to see them all at school again tomorrow.

it's okay--he'll be okay.

he doesn't need any more friends, all he needs are his jungwonie and jongseongie and eomma. and bambi.

"hyung...!" his brother wails as he throws himself onto heeseung's arm. his grip is surprisingly harsh, but heeseung just hums, ruffling jungwon's hair lovingly in an attempt to soothe him. who knew six year olds could be so strong? "hyungie's gonna be okay? r-right?"

"please don't be sad, hyung." jongseong sniffles, and his miserable tone has heeseung's heart aching. heeseung can feel the boy frowning against his back, the little arms wrapped around heeseung's middle tighten. "we don' want hyung to be sad..."

their words have heeseung's vision blurring yet again, and honestly, he's just glad they're too busy to notice.

okay, heeseung! no more crying. little heeseung thinks to himself, nodding in determination before forcing a small smile onto his face. "don't worry, wonie, seongie! hyungie's strong!! i'm really okay now."

the two pull away with great reluctance, leaning in closer as if to judge whether or not heeseung is telling the truth.

jungwon pouts, chubby little cheeks puffed out endearingly. "...promise...?"

heeseung giggles (genuinely this time) as he boops each of their noses and pulls them into a group hug. "...promise." he whispers, ignoring the twinge of guilt that follows. it's not a total lie! he does feel a bit better now. eomma always says that lying isn't very nice, but it's only this one time... heeseung hopes she'll forgive him.

it's probably okay if it stops his two most favorite people in the whole world from being sad, right?

heeseung never wants them to be sad again, and if him being sad makes them sad too... then--then he just won't be sad anymore.

don't be sad, heeseung repeats to himself, pressing kisses to the tippy tops of jungwon and jongseong's heads until they're giggling and squirming away from the ticklish feeling.

no more crying.