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“It's Jim isn't it?”
“Regarding?”
“He's why you're leaving.
I was on the bridge this afternoon, when everyone was leaving alpha shift, and I saw the way you looked at him.”
“The Kolinahr is a great undertaking of significant spiritual value-“
”Don't change the subject. Spock I've seen you verging on death multiple times but I can comfortably say you've never looked more ashen. More heart-“
“Doctor you asked if I was leaving because of the Captain. I am not. I am leaving to undertake the Kolinahr”
“Then what was the look?”
”I observed him. That is all”
“I swear. Why is it always like getting blood from a stone with you Spock. Would it help the blood letting any if I told you he was sick about it?
About you leaving?
And you don't have any feelings about that?”
“Doctor before I leave star fleet I will be submitting a complaint to command about your conduct-“
“Sam hill, why??”
“Throughout the course of our entire working relationship you have poked and prodded and occasionally outright stabbed me looking to twist some owed emotional currency from me which does not exist. You would do well to consider your future in such a profession if you cannot even respect the boundaries and differences between our not so dissimilar species.”
……
“Perhaps I have overstepped …
……
Spock?
…
Alright, you are right, blast it!
I know Vulcans and humans are different but there is one thing I know we share for certain. We only have one life. Spock. He only has one life and it's short. You have all this time spanned out ahead of you. Plenty of time to chase whatever spiritual gratification you choose but he doesn't. The way he talks about you is the way he talks about supernovas and new worlds. The last 5 years you've been tripping over each other again and again and now when you're so close to the end of our mission and you're just going to leave?
Who is he going to be without the Enterprise? Without you? How do you calculate he will fair under those circumstances?”
“That is not my responsibility”
“No but it could be your journey. Think of all that you could do together without the constraints of command. Without needing to rush off to the next diplomatic summit. Without needing to leave behind unfinished scientific discoveries. Think about it!
Spock?
Spock
…
Spock!”
The air around McCoy screamed and he jolted, unable to brace. His atoms evaporated into strips of light whirling up through the atmosphere, impossibly alive. In an instant he felt the cold dappled glass of a transporter pad beneath his hands and frantic faces and activity filled his vision. He was on his back.
“Doctor McCoy can you hear me?” One of his staff was beside him scanning him with a medical tricorder.
“Yes - we materialised in a damn cave in” McCoy said sitting up while the nurse tried to slow him down “Lucky none of it ended up inside-”
As he managed to sit upright a mess of green caught the corner of his eye. Spock lay sprawled across the transporter pad, a gaping odd shaped wound in his abdomen glistening with bright green blood. Above Spock Nurse Chapel was assigning orders, reporting to the bridge and stabilising him. He could hear Jim over the coms speaking in barely restrained barks.
“-us” he whispered, pushing himself up, ready to race forward. As he tried however, nothing happened.
“Leonard!”
He realised the nurse had been trying to speak to him.
“What!? I don’t have time for this Spock needs me right now!” he shouted over the ruckus.
"Sir your legs are broken and you’re in shock"
"Shock? What is this the middle ages"
"Emergency site to site transport to sick bay. Now" he heard Nurse Chapel order.
"Don't-" McCoy began but before he could get the words out his atoms popped dizzyingly into the void again. Then he was in sickbay on the bed adjacent to Spock.
“Blasted transporters” he cussed trying to get his bearings. The team was already surrounding Spock and blocking his view. He was about to begin orchestrating when he noticed his own injuries. The misshapen angles of legs. The bone. The Doctor part of his brain clinically assessed the damage. Nothing a subcutaneous regenerator wouldn’t fix in a heartbeat. The ancient human part of his brain flooded adrenaline into his body, his blood pressure dropped and he passed out.
***
”Morning’”
“Good morning, Captain. What time is it?”
“0300 hours”
“Doctor McCoy?”
“He’s over there. He broke both legs but he’s all fixed up and resting now. Nurse Chapel did a bang up job with the both of you.”
“I sensed her near me though I was in a healing trance.”
“You got off lucky”
“Indeed?”
“Healing trance or no, you were verging on death.”
“I am...aware of that.”
”Scotty is currently working on finding whatever malfunction or anomaly landed you in that cave in. It won't happen again.”
“That is gratifying to know“
...
“Spock…
yesterday when you...informed me of your plans to undertake Kolinahr I reacted….poorly”
“Captain-“
”I understand and respect your resolve. You just caught me a bit off guard and I...the truth is I didn't want to think about the end of the mission because not being here with the crew...with you didn't bear thinking about and then we were needing to part sooner...I shouldn't have been so….dismissive and angry, Spock. I'm so sorry.”
“There is nothing to forgive”
McCoy lay frozen still in the warm silence that ensued, determined to not interrupt the moment that could be his salvation from endless sad and sultry gazes sailing across the bridge every day.
“You know I…can't imagine life here without you. These halls. The bridge. My quarters. They seem just as much yours as mine.”
For the love of god speak to him, McCoy raged in silence.
“Jim….I may have miscalculated the optimal timing of my journey to undertake Kolinahr”
“What do you mean?”
“It has occurred to me that the universal illogic of waste must be observed. Our time on this five year mission, as you said, grows short. Our combined command acumen is considerable. It would be wasteful to end that prematurely”
“So you're saying you'll stay?”
McCoy listened to the shaky hope scarcely hidden within Jim's tone.
“Indeed”
A relieved laugh delivered through a smile came in response.
“Moreover, once we return to Earth and debrief the 5 year mission I am considering a small scientific expedition to the phaten nebula.”
“Oh?”
”Yes. There has been some unusual ecological readings reported there. It’s a fairly young planet so Star Fleet isn’t particularly interested in it but the development of life forms there could be quite fascinating. I also understand it’s wilderness is quite beautiful. I thought perhaps you might be interested in joining me.”
“Is that so?”
“It would be a small contingent of personnel required. Two would likely suffice”
“Well I don't know Spock. I'll have to check my schedule.”
The slightly honeyed sarcastic tones were returning to Jim’s voice.
“I might be very busy giving speeches and lectures and organising conferences. First Captain to lead a 5 year mission you understand”
The tease bounced in his tone and McCoy rolled his eyes.
“Of course, Captain”
“Who will cut all that ribbon...”
His voice slowly lowered till it was more like a whisper.
“pat all those admirals backs…
ride desks…
if you and me are out sailing the stars?”
“Jim-”
A whisper fervent and close and then finally a kiss. McCoy nearly leapt off the bed yelling hallelujah. A small huff of breath was exhaled then more kisses. McCoy was beginning to go red behind the ears madly trying to decide when he would loudly pantomime waking up when Spock spoke again.
“Jim perhaps if we…intend to continue this discourse we should vacate the sick bay?”
”Why?”
“Because Doctor McCoy is awake and has been for the last ten minutes”
“You treacherous-” McCoy exclaimed almost exactly as Kirk shouted accusatorially
“BONES!”
“What!?!??!! You wanted me to wreck a tender moment??? Christ it only took you both nearly 5 years to get here. Who knows how much longer that would have been if I’d spoken up sooner!" McCoy snapped.
Jim's face burned hotly and McCoy looked past him to Spock.
"Glad to hear you'll be staying Spock" he said in calmer tones.
For the first time in McCoy's memory he saw Spock's mouth quirk up slightly in what might be considered a smile. He had to stop himself from gawking.
"As am I"