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fall for you

Summary:

When a conflict at school leaves Lily unable to accompany her boyfriends to Hogsmeade, leaving them to go to the village alone. However, James and Regulus take it as an opportunity to buy something nice for their girlfriend. Neither predicted how hard it would be, but hey, at least there's butterbeer after.

OR James and Regulus go on a date and attempt to shop for Lily, and Barty is acting a bit strange in Regulus's opinion.

Notes:

Hi SORRY ABOUT THE UNANNOUNCED HIATUS
it was just that I couldnt get inspired bc school was kicking my ass and i was very tired a lot
BUT of course I got hella inspired before finals season T-T
Thank you for sticking with me and my very strange updating schedule. I'm working to fix it and I also have some backlog for content, so fear not!!! You'll get some content a bit more frequently now!!
This oneshot hits a bit closer to home due to the content haha and I'm projecting through a *new character* im throwing into the mix. Let me just warn yall that I'm definitely writing more of this *new character*. Aight that's enough of my rant!!!
Again, I hope y'all like it and please don't hesitate to leave comments i live off of every comment y'all leave me <3

Work Text:

“Hogsmeade?”

Regulus blinked, focusing on Barty again. Barty Crouch Jr., a fellow Slytherin and a friend, rolled his eyes. Friend was a bit questionable; sure, they hung out some and were dorm mates, but that’s where their interactions ended. But, to be fair, that was as much as Regulus was going to associate with his fellow Slytherins, seeing that he was a relatively quiet person and he much preferred talking to people who weren’t so crazy about the Dark Lord and pureblood supremacy. Besides, Barty was relatively decent compared to the rest of the Slytherins and Regulus has known him since third year. They hung out a bit, and Regulus did enjoy his company. So, really, he was as close as it got to Slytherin friends for Regulus. Okay, so maybe Barty was more of a friend than acquaintance. Technicalities.

“What?” Regulus said defensively. “Okay, cool, there’s a Hogsmeade visit coming up. What’s different about it?”

“Are you going to go?” Barty asked, hands on his hips, and Regulus shrugged.

“Maybe,” he said.

“Maybe?” Barty echoed.

“I don’t know!”

And really, Regulus didn’t know if he was going to go or not. He knew Lily and James would probably be busy with midterms as seventh years, which essentially prepared them for NEWTs. Those were a big deal in their future careers. Meanwhile, Regulus was in that sweet spot between fifth year OWLs and seventh year NEWTs, which meant that he technically had a bit more time free than they did.

He also didn’t ask yet if they were going to go, but he was starting to wish that he did. They could have made it a date if they were free, really. It would definitely take his mind off of the coming winter break. Regulus shuddered just thinking about it, which was ironic really—if you asked him about it years ago, he would have been so passionate and excited. The things being surrounded by better people and influenced by the more morally sound ideals did to a person, he supposed.

“Well,” Barty dragged out, and Regulus frowned.

“Well?” He repeated. 

“I was just wondering…” he trailed off again, and Regulus arched an eyebrow.

“Spit it out, Barty. Quit dawdling.”

“Why don’t you come with me?” He proposed hesitantly, and Regulus blinked.

“Come again?”

“Hogsmeade?” Barty repeated, a flush growing at the tip of his ears.

“What—“

“I’m asking if you want to hang out in Hogsmeade, dimwit!”

Regulus blinked again and then paused.

“Oh,” he said thoughtfully, and Barty rolled his eyes, the tips of his ears red.

“So?”

Regulus hummed, glancing at his textbooks. Spending time not thinking about school in general sounded nice, but he desperately wanted to ask James and Lily if they were going first before agreeing to go with his friends. Maybe he still had time; after all, it was in two days.

“Maybe,” Regulus offered, and Barty frowned at that.

“You’re not sure? Or are you already going with someone else?” He asked, before his eyes widened. “Not that I care!”

Regulus squinted at him. “Are you feeling alright, Barty?” He asked. It was a valid question, in his opinion. His friend’s face was steadily turning a concerning shade of red, and Regulus decided that he should see Madam Pomfrey if it persisted.

“I’m fine, and—hey, don’t touch me!” Barty said, batting away Regulus’s attempt to check his temperature.

“Right, sorry,” Regulus said, immediately retracting his hand.

“What?” He said, exasperated. “Ugh, you know what? It’s fine, it’s fine.”

“I’m sorry?” Regulus was rather perplexed at this point. This was highly unusual behavior for his friend, whose eyes were darting around nervously and whose hands were fidgeting with each other.

Barty just forced a smile and patted Regulus’s shoulder. “It’s fine, I’ll see you later today?”

“Yes, but—“

“Perfect, I must simply tell you what Flitwick said in class, but I’ll tell you then. See you around, Regulus!”

With that, Barty spun on his heel, briskly walking the other way and turning the corner of the hallway.

“What?” Regulus said aloud to no one in particular, and a first year passing by gave him major side-eye. “ What ?”

“You’re kinda dense,” she commented offhandedly.

“I’m sorry?” Regulus said, exasperated. A first year was calling him dense for something he was so confused about? What even happened?

She just shook her head and walked by him, her Hufflepuff robes fluttering behind her. 



He was situated on the couch in the Gryffindor common room, legs up on James’s lap, who was studiously annotating his copy of his Charms textbook. Both Regulus and Lily had been horrified initially at the discovery that James wrote in his textbooks, because you simply do not write in textbooks, period . It helped James read it better, though, so they managed to look past that atrocity. Lily was seated on the floor next to James’s legs, her Potions things spread out on the carpet. Apparently, there was this big exam in that class coming up as a mock exam for the midterm, and Lily was dead set on scoring a perfect O.

“Must you be such an overachiever?” James had lamented, and Lily sighed in response.

“I need to impress Slughorn!”

“You already do that,” Regulus had noted in response. “What’s there to do to impress him more?”

Lily had just sighed again in response.

“So,” Regulus said into the comfortable silence, looking up from his Herbology textbook.

Lily made a noise of acknowledgement, and James looked up. 

“You know how there’s a Hogsmeade visit coming up?”

James visibly brightened at that. “Oh, yeah!”

“Are you up for going?” Regulus asked, drumming his fingers on his textbook. “If not, completely understandable, but I was just wondering.”

“Count me in,” James said cheerfully. “Hey, Lily, what about you?”

“Hmm?”

Lily hadn’t looked up from her notes, and James gently nudged her in the arm. “Hogsmeade?”

She looked up, blinking owlishly. “Hogsmeade?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said, unable to stop the corners of his lips from quirking up at her confused expression. “Hogsmeade. Y’know, the village we visit sometimes?”

“Has loads of shops, looks gorgeous in the winter,” James helpfully added as well.

“I know what it is!” She replied, affronted. “But when is the visit?”

“Day after tomorrow.”

“Ah…” she looked troubled at that. “I don’t know if I can, guys.”

“Aw,” James whined. “Why not?”

“I have to finish studying for my Transfiguration exam and I have to tutor a second year in Potions at that time,” she said with a regretful smile. “But you two go on, I don’t want to stop you both!”

“Are you sure?” Regulus said, eyebrows furrowing together. “We could go together some other time. There’s no pressure.”

“Oh, no,” she insisted, shaking her head. “I want you to enjoy this visit. I’ll just join next time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you like, absolutely sure ?”

“James, I literally said it three times already.”

“But like, super sure?”

“Regulus, don’t even make me repeat myself.”

“Like—“

“I’m literally telling you both to go have fun, why am I getting this response?” She groaned, burying her head in her hands.

There was a pause, and when Regulus caught James’s eye, it was all over. They burst into hysterical laughter, and even Lily couldn’t stop herself from laughing along with them.

“No, stop, I’m trying to be annoyed,” she gasped out.

“That’s a you problem,” Regulus informed her through his laughter. “Not ours.”

Just then, Sirius and Remus walked through the portrait hole, pausing at the scene in front of them.

“What the hell happened here?” Sirius said aloud, hands on his hips.

“They’re bullying me,” Lily complained, and James made a sound of despair.

“No we’re not!”

“I told you guys to go to Hogsmeade and enjoy yourselves, and you keep asking me if I’m sure!”

“Because we care ,” Regulus said.

“But I’m— quite literally —telling you that I don’t mind, do you both not understand basic English?”

“Fine, okay,” James said placatingly. “Have fun with your Transfiguration and tutoring session.”

Lily sniffed at that, turning back to her books. “I’ll try.”

“Are you done?” Sirius said, still standing in the same spot. “Like, is all of that over? That was disgusting.”

Regulus glanced over at his brother with a lazy smile. “You’re disgusting.”

Sirius squawked in offense. “No I’m not! Moony, tell him!”

Remus heaved a long-suffering sigh, scrubbing a hand across his face. “Literally what .”

Regulus beamed at him, and Remus shook his head. 

“I’m going to go to bed,” he said, and Sirius grumbled under his breath before following Remus up the stairs to the boys’ dormitory.

“Oi, mate, why are you following him to bed?” James called, a wicked smile breaking out across his face.

“Use protection!” Regulus added, and Lily snorted in amusement.

“And remember that the walls aren’t all that thick!” She said loudly.

“Fuck off!” Sirius shouted from somewhere at the top of the stairs, and Regulus and James positively cackled at that. 



“So hear me out,” James said as they walked down the bridge towards the village. It was getting chillier, and James was bundled up in his Gryffindor scarf and robes, and Regulus in his Slytherin counterparts.

“I’m listening,” Regulus said, wondering vaguely if Hogs Head would be crowded around now.

“What if we bought Lily something?” He said, and Regulus hummed.

“Yeah, okay.”

James made a sound of displeasure. “You didn’t even ask what.”

“Well, you just said that we should get her something.”

“But I have ideas.”

Regulus huffed out a laugh. “Okay, go on.”

“How about a dress?”

“Oh, how original, Potter. Also, why a dress? What makes you think she’ll be happy with clothing?”

“Do you have a better idea, then?” James shot back, and Regulus paused.

“I mean, there’s always something from Honeydukes that we could buy her.”

“Yeah, but those don’t last forever. However, a dress? That lasts forever,” James reasoned, and, well, when he put it like that, it made a bit more sense to Regulus. Only a bit, though.

“I feel like this is your way of getting her to forgive you for ruining—“

“Nope!” James slapped a hand over Regulus’s mouth. “We’re never bringing it up again.”

“But—“ Regulus started, voice muffled against James’s hand, and James shook his head.

“Nope, absolutely not.”

Regulus grumbled, pushing at James’s hand in an obvious gesture that clearly said, James, let go of me in the next three seconds if you know what’s good for you .

James clearly did know what was good for him, as he let go rather quickly after that. It was just as well, though; they arrived at Hogsmeade at that point, and sure enough, throngs of students crowded the streets, excited chatter filling the air and laughter ringing out in the clear fall afternoon.

“Hogsmeade, my love ,” James announced theatrically, and Regulus just sighed.

“Don’t be weird,” he told James as he passed him. “We’re still in public.”

“Weird is subjective, Reg!”

“No, I’m pretty sure you’re actually being weird.”

“Rude!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

James huffed at that, bounding forward to fall into step with Regulus, glancing over his shoulder for a brief moment before turning back. “You’re a bully and I don’t like you.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow, glancing at their now intertwined hands. “… Right .”

James seemed to be satisfied at that.

A habit that Regulus unintentionally developed after getting into a relationship with two Gryffindors included keeping an eye out for any Slytherins that he knew would blab to their parents, who in turn would tell his parents. If his parents knew, he was genuinely going to be dead. Literally dead. There would be no way he would survive the wrath of his parents. As a result, he always ended up so stiff at times, constantly watching out to not be caught. It made physical affection, even as tame as simply holding hands, hard, and that stressed Regulus out because what if they thought that he didn’t like them back?   Which, by the way, was so very false. He was very much gone for them, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. Just…not in public.

“You’re thinking about something,” James announced, breaking Regulus out of his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“I can see the look on your face,” James informed him. “You get all serious and adorable and shit.”

“I’m not adorable,” Regulus deadpanned.

“Sure, keep telling yourself that,” he replied. “Anyway, I found a shop that we gotta check out.”

“Oh?” Regulus raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah—damn, Regulus, tell your eyebrows to settle down!”

“Fine, fine,” he conceded. “Lead on, James.”

The shop that caught James’s eye actually happened to be a decently okay one, as it had all sorts of clothing that seemed far too excessive to Regulus. But, to be fair, he really didn’t spend his time shopping; Kreacher ended up doing that for him and Sirius and the rest of their family. And even though Regulus had gotten his fair share of shopping in general after going on dates with Lily and James, he still found it a bit overwhelming to see how many clothes there were to look at and peruse through. It was strange, to say the least.

“Hey, Reggie, whatcha think about this?” James called from God-knows-where in the store, and Regulus grumbled under his breath.

“Don’t call me that!” He replied, weaving his way through the racks. “ God .”

“Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain!” James sang once Regulus reached him, and Regulus rolled his eyes at that comment.

“Did you find anything?”

“Yeah!”

The cloth shoved in Regulus face was atrociously fuchsia pink, and Regulus blinked a couple times, trying to focus on what was in front of him.

“You’re kidding.”

“What?”

Regulus frowned at the choice James made. To be fair, it wasn’t a… bad dress, per se, but it definitely didn’t win any prizes for being any good either. It wasn’t Lily , at least, and if it isn’t her then there was literally no point at all.

“Did you know that your face is so expressive?” James said thoughtfully as he placed the dress back on the rack.

“What?”

“Your face is so expressive,” James repeated slowly, oh so helpfully, and Regulus frowned.

“What? No, it isn’t,” he said, and James grinned.

“Yeah, it definitely is.”

Regulus scoffed at that, willing his face to not be as heated as he thinks it is growing. “Enough about my face, how about this one?” He said, wildly grabbing a dress off of the nearest rack to him, and held it out for James to see.

“Reg, she isn’t going to a funeral,” James snorted, and honestly, James had a point there. It was a long black dress that seemed only appropriate for a funeral, and yeah, that definitely wasn’t it either.

“God, why are clothes so hard to shop for,” Regulus complained as he put it back, and James raised his eyebrows.

“We only were in here for like, what, five minutes?”

“Too long.”

“You literally spend hours with us in malls, and you can’t take five minutes here?”

“That’s because Lily actually knows what she’s doing! I just follow her and it always ends up being fun!”

James opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it. “You have a point.”

Regulus sighed. “We have zero idea what we’re doing.”

James nodded. “Yup.”

There was a brief pause as Regulus and James looked at each other.

“…Continue looking?”

Regulus sighed. “Yeah.”



Forever. That’s how long it took to buy a damn dress. Goddamn, if this is what Kreacher went through for clothing, Regulus really wanted to show him some extra appreciation because clothes shopping is no joke.

“Y’know, I really hope she also forgives you for—“ Regulus started as they walked out of the shop, purchase in hand, and James shoved him.

“I said that we will never mention it again!”

“It’s not a bad thing to want to try on—“

“Alright, speaking rights have been removed for you.”

“And it was kinda hot too,” Regulus continued relentlessly. “So I don’t understand why you refuse to hear about it.”

“Because it’s embarrassing,” James whined, dragging a hand down his face. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“It was funny, don’t worry,” Regulus said helpfully, patting James’s arm, who grumbled.

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about, dumbass.”

“I should be the one calling you that.”

“Hey!”

“I didn’t get a shirt and a dress mixed up,” Regulus said informatively, pushing open the doors to Hog’s Head for the two of them. “You did.”

“I didn’t know people sold shirts that big!” James huffed. “It’s ridiculous.”

“I actually agree on that one.”

“Wow, I’m so glad you do.”

Regulus huffed out a laugh. “Alright, how about I go get the butterbeer and you get a table?”

“Sounds like a solid plan,” James said, and with a squeeze, he let go of Regulus’s had and ambled off towards the tables. Regulus watched him leave before turning back to the counter, already pulling out a couple coins.

“Two for you?” Madam Rosmerta said, already pulling out two mugs, and Regulus grinned sheepishly.

“Yeah.”

“Thought so. That’ll be 10 sickles.”

“Is there inflation on butterbeer?” Regulus asked as he handed over the silver coins, and she shrugged.

“Holiday season. More people means more purchases, and I’m the only butterbeer seller here. One word: monopolies .”

Regulus blinked. “What.”

“There’s this concept muggles study called economics , and if anything, it taught me how to run business better.”

“Huh,” he said thoughtfully. “Sounds fun.”

“Yep, especially when I can get more money.”

“You’d think that they would teach this at Hogwarts.”

“This is exactly the problem. But hey, more for me until then.”

“Wonderful, extorting students is so your forte, Madam Rosmerta,” Regulus deadpanned as she handed him the butterbeers.

“That’s enough from you, Black,” she shooed him off. “Don’t go spilling my secrets!” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

James had found a table that was closer to the windows in a booth, which was a nice surprise, seeing that those seats always ran out fast. He considerably brightened as Regulus approached, the contemplative expression washing away in an instant.

“Hey! That was quick,” James said, taking a mug.

“Yeah, talk to Madam Rosmerta about business and she’ll give it to you right away,” Regulus said, taking a sip of his own drink.

“Really?”

“Yeah. She started talking about muggle studies too.”

“Wow.”

“Almost makes me want to take it.”

James arched an eyebrow. “Why don’t you then?”

“Hm?” Regulus stirred his drink a bit, the sugar having sank to the bottom a bit already.

“Take muggle studies next year,” James said. “It would be interesting, especially for wizards like us.”

Regulus shrugged. “Sure, but my parents wouldn’t like it much, would they?”

James made a face at that. “They don’t have to know.”

“James. Be reasonable. They’ll see my report card that the school literally sends via owl,” Regulus argued half-heartedly. 

It really was a shame, though, since it did rather seem like a subject Regulus might find fascinating. After all, he’d never seen the muggle perspective of things, and especially after starting to date Lily, he wanted to know more. He could always ask her, though. That was an option. But then again, Muggle Studies as a course seemed equally enticing as well.

“Oh, I forgot about that…”

Regulus shook his head. “It’s fine. I’ll find some other way to learn more.”

“What did Rosmerta call that branch of studies, though?” James asked.

“Economics.”

“Huh.”

“Right?”

“Should I add that to the list of things to ask Lily about?” James offered, and Regulus shrugged.

“Sure, why not.”

“I’ve never heard of that, so I’m going to ask,” he said decisively, pulling out a notepad and jotting it down. Regulus stared.

“Do you really carry it around with you all the time?” He asked incredulously. “ James .”

“Look, I have questions and I can finally ask Lily!” James said, snapping the notebook shut.

“Uh, the library exists?”

“Yes, well,” James said, pouting. “I can just ask her too.”

“Because you want to be with Lily more.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want the same!”

Regulus paused. Well, James got him there.

“Fine,” he conceded. “But tell me what she says, okay?”

“Yessir,” James saluted, and Regulus grimaced.

“Don’t do that, that’s weird.”

“You’re weird.”

He sighed. “So mature.”



“What’s this?” Lily said, glancing at the bag in her hand. 

James and Regulus had returned from Hogsmeade and immediately sought her out to give her her little gift.

“Well, you should see what it is,” James said eagerly, and Lily raised an eyebrow.

“Regulus, it’s not something bad, is it?” She said, eyes still on James’s face, and Regulus huffed a laugh.

“No, I was there too,” he said, and Lily nodded approvingly.

“Good. That’s comforting to hear.”

“Hey!” James said defensively. Lily simply smiled and diverted her attention to the bag. She reached into it, pulling out the dress that Regulus and James had spent ages picking out.

“A…dress?” She said cautiously.

“It’s to make up for the—“ Regulus started, but James slapped a hand over his mouth.

“I thought we’d never bring it up again!” He said hotly, and then exclaimed out loud in disgust, withdrawing his hand from a very smug Regulus. “Did you just lick my hand?”

Lily nodded sagely at Regulus’s comment, though, inspecting the dress. She held it out, eyes scanning over it.

“Yes, I think it would make up for the lost one.”

“Guys,” James whined. “Don’t bully me!”

“Fine, we won’t bully you over it,” Regulus said, grinning. “It’s in the past, and it stays there now.”

Thank you .”

“It’s lovely, though,” Lily said, smiling. “Thank you both.”

“You should’ve seen some of Regulus’s selections, though,” James said in a stage whisper. “It’s almost like he’s only ever dressed for funerals.”

“Okay, but yours were so extravagant and flamboyant, it’s almost ridiculous!” Regulus replied, crossing his arms. “It would never suit Lily!”

“Well, the end product is wonderful,” Lily interjected, glancing at the two of them.

“That’s good to hear.”

“The two hours we spent were definitely worth it then.”

“Two hours?” Lily repeated, aghast. “Good gracious. We do need to go shopping more.”

Regulus and James made a face.

“Oh God.”

“How horrifying.”

Lily laughed at that.



 Barty broke the silence first.

“So…how was your Hogsmeade trip?”

They both were in their dorm, each of them doing their own thing. Barty was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling as if it were the most interesting thing since Professor McGonagall turned into a cat their first year, and Regulus was reading a new muggle book Lily had recommended. Carrie by a muggle named Stephen King was, quite frankly, disturbing, but if this is what muggles wrote about, Regulus was far more fascinated than he cared to admit out loud. The themes covered—not to mention the type of content—were so bold, so…controversial, really, and yet it was all in this book that a muggle had the nerves and bravery to publish. Regulus didn’t know whether to question the muggle’s life decisions or applaud him.

He looked up, though, at Barty’s question. Barty still was fixedly staring up at the ceiling.

“Uh.”

“…”

“It was good,” Regulus said slowly. “I had fun.”

“With James Potter?”

Regulus’s decent mood melted into cold ice. He sat up, closing the book and placing it in the center of his perfectly made bed.

“Um.”

Barty looked at Regulus then, frowning. “Why were you with James Potter of all people?”

Regulus just stared back. “Because.”

“Because?”

“He’s my…friend?” Regulus winced a bit at that. He was not just his friend, but the less Barty knew, the better.

“Oh.” Barty resumed staring up at the ceiling. “It’s a bit funny though.”

“What?”

“That you’d choose someone like him.”

“I…don’t follow.”

“You like him,” Barty said shortly. “Don’t you?”

Regulus blinked, throat dry. This conversation was veering into a dangerous zone and he definitely was not here for it. The best he really could do was deny everything and tell Lily and James afterwards so they’re not in the dark about it.

“I—I’m not like that—Barty, why would you—“ he attempted, but Barty shook his head.

“Relax,” he stretched his arms before sitting up, turning to face Regulus. “I’m not going to snitch.”

“Wh—“

“I’m like that too,” he added, smiling bitterly at Regulus. “We both would be dead meat if anyone found out, wouldn’t we.”

Regulus’s voice failed him, mind running a million miles a minute. What was going on? He had no idea.

“Um—yeah,” he said finally. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Are you dating Potter?” Barty asked then, blue eyes meeting Regulus’s grey ones.

“Why does it matter?” Regulus said defensively. “Does it matter to you?”

Barty pursed his lips at that, looking down.

“Barty?”

“I just want to know,” he said finally. “If you’re worried about it coming out, I won’t tell a soul. I swear.”

“Why would you want to know, though?” Regulus said, a bit impatiently. “I appreciate the sentiment, but really, does it matter to you?”

“Yes,” Barty said after a second’s hesitation. “Yes. It does.”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

Barty looked up then, weary eyes meeting his own. “Because I need to know if I should move on from you.”

And just like that, everything screeched to a halt in Regulus’s mind.

“…What?”

Barty sighed.

“You heard me.” 

Regulus blinked. “You…like me?”

“Oh god, you’re such a dumbass,” Barty mumbled, staring at his feet.

“Okay, sure.”

“I’m sorry,” Barty then said, and Regulus sighed. There was a minute’s pause after that before Regulus broke the silence again.

“If it helps in any way, I am in a relationship already.”

Barty sighed quietly. No words came out. What could he even say…

“I’m sorry,” Regulus added, hoping it would help. 

Silence again. Regulus was unsure of what to do now; this was a very new situation and he…really wasn’t good with emotions. 

“I just …got my hopes up,” Barty said ruefully. “Potter’s a good guy.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. He may be a blood traitor, but he’s miles better than a lot of the other Slytherin guys,” he said, and then paused. “And girls, for that matter.”

“Ha, just Slytherins in general, huh?”

“Yeah,” Barty said, smiling a bit at that. “They’re overrated.”

“We’re Slytherins, though,” Regulus pointed out, the corners of his mouth quirking up at their banter.

“We’re overrated, then.”

Regulus nodded at that. “I concur.”

Barty laughed and then sighed. “We can still be friends, though. Right?”

Regulus didn’t even hesitate to respond. “Definitely.”

Barty nodded. “Okay. That’s good.”

“Yeah, this doesn’t change anything,” Regulus assured him, and Barty nodded again.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“So James Potter. How is he?”

“Okay, talking over, nice chat,” Regulus said, tip of his ears turning red at the smug look on Barty’s face.

“No, no, I just had my heart broken and this is the only thing that will help,” Barty insisted, and Regulus rolled his eyes.

“Wow, okay, blackmail now?”

“I gotta know! I don’t get much action, you know!”

Regulus choked on air. “I—um—“

Barty snorted at that. “You’re such a prude, oh my God —“

“I am not !”

“Oh, really?”

“And by the way, I have a girlfriend too, so I’m definitely not one—“

“Damn, twice the action then,” Barty sighed wistfully. “Is it Evans?”

Regulus paused. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

“It’s obvious now,” Barty said knowingly. “I know everything. And I need details, Black, you’re holding out on me!”

“Okay, that’s enough!”

“No, it isn’t!”

“I refuse to talk anymore!”

“Well, too bad!”

To Regulus’s relief, Barty stopped pestering for details when one of the other Slytherin boys stormed into their dorm to tell them to shut the hell up.

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