Chapter Text
Dan wakes up begrudgingly slowly and bitterly thinks about all the different ways he could kill those birds outside. Okay so it’s safe to say he’s not a morning person, he’s not quite sure that you can trust people who are morning people. Surely they're doing sleep wrong.
His head is pounding and his mouth feels as if he’s been playing the chubby bunny challenge with cotton wool balls. He rubs his eyes and immediately regrets his entire life as he swings his feet over the bed and falls flat on his face. Oh god how much did he drink last night, he stops that train of thought when he realises he can only just remember getting off the plane. Oh sure come to my bachelor party Tyler said. It’ll be fun Tyler said. Oh and by the way it’s in Vegas Tyler said. And Dan had took one look at Phil’s excited face and thought why the hell not. He hate’s old him.
Dan manages to pull him self together enough to drag himself to the bathroom, swaying slightly as he walks. On one hand the complete void in his memories of last means that ‘operation forget about Phil’ had actually worked, on the other hand he’s pretty sure he’s dying. Operation FAB as Tyler and him had affectionately dubbed it, was Tyler’s idea and like most of Tyler’s ideas, it involved alcohol, god there was so much alcohol. If he was honest, it wasn’t a particularly great plan but hey it’s more then he had come up with over the past five years. So to get his pining ass over Phil he had planned to get so incredibly drunk that he couldn't even remember his own name, never mind Phil's. Tyler was going to set him up with one of his very hot friends and this whole puppy dog eyed thing he had for Phil would be no more. An alcohol induced cure if you like.
He flicks the bathroom light on, flinching a little at the brightness and catches his reflection in the mirror. He looks wrecked, his hair is sticking up in angles he did not know was possible and at some point in the night he had acquired some sharpie whiskers. He’s wearing a white t-shirt and white boxers which he distinctly remembers not going out in last night. He needs to call Tyler, this is all his fault. He brushes his teeth quickly, feeling a little more human as he does.
He has no idea where his jeans are, which will probably have both his phone and wallet in. Oh god did he give someone a lap dance last night, he vaguely remembers wiggling out of his jeans and doing some impression of sexy dancing. He clearly shouldn’t be allowed out the house. After tugging at his hair, he gives up and decides to just go back to bed.
Now that he’s more awake, he looks around the unfamiliar hotel room, half in the hope it’ll leave some clue as to what happened last night. Theres a bottle of champagne discarded on the floor and a heap of confetti that Dan definitely can not explain. He turns a little, eyes straying to the bed he so desperately wants to crawl back into. Okay that is a very suspiciously human shaped lump in his bed. Somebody is in his bed, did he go home with someone last night? He reminds himself of the pleasant ache he felt in his muscles when he woke up and suddenly he’s not sure that it was from dancing. He steps a little closer, trying to asses if this is a creep out before they wake kind of morning.
The person turns, mumbling a little but still settled in sleep and Dan’s heart stops. Phil is curled in a mess of blankets, sunlight streaming through the window and he is so beautiful. Dan is so screwed because operation FAB has not worked, if anything he thinks that he’s a little bit more in love with the idiot. This is totally platonic he reminds himself, it’s not the first time Phil and him have passed out together. Late night editing videos or watching one too many anime episodes mean that more often then not they end up sprawled in the same bed. Those are always Dan’s favourite nights. Phil stirs, groggily sitting up and smiling over at Dan, armed with matching sharpie whiskers.
‘I don’t think anyone has ever felt as bad as I do right now’ Phil groans, then suddenly takes in what Dan looks like and giggles ‘okay you’ he points ‘look ridiculous’
Time stops for a moment as they both look at Phil’s out stretched hand.
‘Shit Phil did you get married?’ he jokes, his hand flying to his mouth in feigned shock.
Phil’s eyes widen and Dan brings his hand in front of him to find a gold band heavily sitting on his finger. Fuck.