Chapter Text
Torchwood was, of course, a very serious place to work. Which was why, on a Friday morning, its staff were throwing paper balls across the hub at each other. Jack was meant to be the boss, and therefore the voice of reason, but as he was the one who’d started it there was little chance of an end to the chaos. Melody had hunkered down with Tosh. They’d made a paper ball production line and it was quite effective, though not as effective as Iantos strategy. That being standing on the gantry and being almost impossible to hit. Almost. Jack had a very good throwing arm and chose his shots well. Gwen and Owen had taken the more mobile route, rendering most cover useless. Needless to say the cleanup was going to be a nightmare, but at least it was a good start to the day.
Owen called a time out as his phone rang. It was strange enough in itself as the only people who ever really called him were in the same room. He frowned at the number displayed on the screen and walked to the bottom of the steps at the far end of the room to have a little privacy.
The number was one he hadn’t seen in years. “Hello?”
“Owen… I…” A womans voice rang clearly over the line, one he’d once known well, one he hadn’t heard since Katies funeral.
He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. “Abby, what’s wrong?”
“It’s mum… The doctors think she had a stroke while she was driving.”
“Shit. Where is she? Want me to drive over?”
“Owen, she didn’t make it. I’m so sorry… I’m at the hospital now and I promise I’ll call you when I’ve got everything sorted out.” She sniffled lightly.
“Are you on your own? Where’s Sid?”
“He’s at work. Mari’s at home-”
“Do you want me there?”
“It’s ok. I just thought you should know.”
“Yea… Yea, thanks.”
“Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’ll keep you posted and… If you need me, you know I’m just a call away, yea?”
“Course, yea. Talk soon.” He slid down the wall as the line went dead, his blood running cold with shock.
Gwen appeared at the top of the stairs, waving to the others for calm. “Owen? You ok?”
“Um…” He blinked away tears, trying not to show any kind of emotion. “Well, my mum just died.” The words sounded alien. It felt as if someone else had said them but in his voice.
She rushed down the steps and knelt next to him. “I’m so sorry sweetheart.”
“Not like she ever gave a shit about me.” He shrugged, wondering why he’d even blurted that out, as his vision flooded with tears. He didn’t fight as she pulled him into a hug, the warmth cutting through how cold he felt, tears now running freely down his face.
Owen was very much like a cat. When he was upset he wanted to be left alone and everyone allowed him that to a point. He’d spent the best part of an hour in the meeting room, unfocused eyes staring into nothing, leaning heavily on the table. He was suddenly snapped from his daze when a crystal tumbler was placed in front of him. He hadn’t noticed anyone walk in but, if he was honest, a whole circus could have tumbled past and he wouldn’t have registered it. He studied the glass for a moment.
“Thought you might need it.” Said Jack, his voice soft, as he sat in his usual chair.
Owen picked up the glass and swallowed half of its contents in one go before he placed it down again. The burn cleared his thoughts for a moment. “I must look like shit if you’re breaking out the good stuff.”
“You’ve looked worse… You don’t have to talk about it but do you need any help?”
He shook his head and stared into his glass. “My sister’s taking care of it.”
“I forgot you had one.”
“Yea… I didn’t want her getting involved. Mum must have given her my phone number… She’s got her own family… Little kid.... I say that, Maria must be a teenager by now.”
“Don’t get along?”
“Hmm? Naa, we get along fine. I mean as much as we can. She was ten when I was born so she was off doing her own thing most of my life. She bailed on home as soon as she turned eighteen, not that I blame her. Her other half’s a copper. Good bloke, bit stuffy but Abby’s happy with him.” He took a smaller sip of his drink.
“It’s nice to hear you talk about them.”
“They were the only ones who turned up when I graduated medical school. Mum said she had some appointment to get to so she couldn’t… You’re a dad, is that normal? When I was little I thought that’s how everyones parents were.”
“No, that’s nowhere near normal. If Alice invited me to anything I’d be there no matter what. Especially anything that important.” Jack frowned. He hated seeing Owen like this. It reminded him too much of how he’d been when the captain had recruited him.
He nodded softly, clenching his teeth so hard he thought they might break, refusing to cry again. His mother had always made him feel useless, a burden, worthless, so why did knowing she was gone hurt so badly? It was like he’d been shot and he was slowly bleeding out but noone else could see it.
“It’s ok to grieve you know.”
“Is it?!” Owen snapped. “She hated me. No matter what I did she never once gave a shit about me! Why do I care?!”
“Because she was your mother. You’re not just grieving for who she was, you’re grieving for who she could have been, who you wanted her to be, who she could have been.”
“It’s like just one more thing she can do to hurt me and I don’t know why! What did I ever do?! Was I really that bad?!” His voice cracked, barely holding himself together.
Jack grabbed his shoulders. “Owen. None of that was your fault, understand? Any decent parent would be proud to have a kid like you.”
For a moment he seemed to freeze before collapsing into silent sobs, letting Jack hold him protectively.
Melody grabbed Toshikos hand as she stood, wanting to rush up and make sure Owen was alright. “Jack’s got this. Give them a few more minutes.” She said, her voice slightly strained and tears dripping down her face.
“I… Are you sure?” Tosh grabbed a tissue from the box on her desk and handed it over.
“Thanks, and yea. It’s better for him to get these things out of his head.”
“Can you tell what’s going on?”
“Not fully. I don’t want to intrude, but I can feel what’s being radiated.”
“Is there anything we can do?” Gwen asked, still looked up in the direction of the muffled shout.
“At the moment I think maybe just let him process it? Don’t make a big deal out of it.”
“I just… I mean he doesn’t talk about his family much but I know he was in a foul mood every mothers day.”
Tosh sunk into her chair. “She is… Was not the best person.”
“Yea?”
“She wasn’t violent or anything, but from everything I’ve heard and been told she seemed cold. Whenever he reached out she was always too busy. That’s what she said anyway.”
“That’s awful. I know I have issues with my mum, but at least I know I can call her and she’ll care.”
“I know. My mum can be a little overbearing sometimes, but I’ve never doubted that she cares about me. I don’t know if he’ll want to go to the funeral or not.”
“It might give him some closure if nothing else. Does he need any help planning or anything?”
“I think it was his sister that called, so she’ll probably be dealing with that.”
“He has a sister?”
“Mm. She still lives in London. I don’t think they’ve spoken in a long time though.”
“Not the best situation to be meeting his family in.”
“If they hate me I can blame it on grief.”
“Don’t be soft. No one could hate you.”
She gave a soft smile. “I don’t know about that, but thank you.”
“Oh good.” Melody said, wiping away the last of the tears. “Things have calmed down.”
“Do you think it’ll be ok for me to go up there?”
“Yea, it should be fine now.” She watched Tosh run off before borrowing her chair. “I’m awful with grief. I never know what to do with myself.”
Gwen nodded. “I don’t think anyone does really. Just have to work through it and carry on.”
“Yea. Just sucks in the moment.” She looked down as Syn and Tax dragged a bin liner full of paper balls over. “Nice work you two. I’ll see if I can find you some better material for your home down there. I think the cardboard’s a bit too flammable.”
Owen spent the next two weeks in a haze, only snapping out of it when he was working. His mind was locked on the funeral. Part of him wanted to miss it but the other part needed to go. If nothing else he could see his sister. Plus Tosh seemed to think it was a good idea. The drive to London was quiet, the sky a gloomy grey, and the traffic seemed to move at half speed. As sombre as the event was going to be it was nice to get out of the car. It wasn’t going to be a particularly busy event as there weren’t that many cars parked outside of the church.
“Are we that early?” Asked Tosh as she pulled her small handbag onto her shoulder.
He leaned on the side of the car. “No. But if you’re nasty enough this is what happens.”
“We don’t have to stay for long if you don’t want to. We can just go to the hotel.”
“I know. I’ll be ok. Come on, Abby’ll be looking for me.” He took her hand as they made their way towards the front doors of the church. A woman, her dark hair pulled up into a neat bun, stood by the large door. She turned her dark eyes to the two approaching and smiled softly. The resemblance between the woman and Owen was clear. This was Abby.
“Owen. I wasn’t sure I’d see you.” The woman said in surprise. She pulled him into a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”
He hugged back uncomfortably. “Yea, yea. I thought you’d want me here. This is Tosh by the way.”
“Oh-” She stepped back then offered her hand to Tosh, “- sorry, I’m Abby. It’s nice to meet you.”
Tosh took her hand and shook it softly. “You too. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. I’m so glad you could both make it. I know the middle of the week isn’t the best time.”
“It’s alright. Our hours are quite flexible.”
“So you work together?”
“Different departments.”
“Ahh, I see. Well, you’re welcome to head in or wait here. Sid’s making sure everything runs smoothly in there and Mari… Well, Mari’s walking around the church yard.” She looked like this had been playing on her mind for a while.
He looked across the yard. “Well, she is a teenager. Not known for doing anything their parents say.”
“She… Her relationship with mum was… Not good. You know mum was never very tolerant of anything she thought was different. Course Mari’s in her rebellious phase so it’s all short hair and mood swings. Last year mum said something nasty and I don’t think she ever forgave her.”
“Sounds about right.”
“And of course she’s just like her uncle. Much too smart for her own good. She got suspended last week for breaking into the schools computer network and changing every desktop background to a sign that said Mr Bradley is a nonce .” She crossed her arms.
He tried to stifle a laugh.
“Oh it gets better. She didn’t just change the background image. She put a little bit of code into the internet explorer shortcut that changed it back to that image every time it was clicked. They had to manually delete and recreate the shortcut on every single computer just to stop it.”
“But was she right?”
“That’s being investigated, but there are better ways to get the point across.”
“I think it’s a great way to do it.”
“You would. Don’t let her hear you say things like that.” She cracked a smile. “I missed you. Even if you are a bad influence.”
“I learned it from you so you can’t blame me for that.”
“Right then, I’m going to go and find my daughter before the service starts. If you head inside don’t mind the group of old biddies gossiping. They’d gossip about anything and anyone. Father Andrews tries to keep them in line but I swear nothing stops them.”
“I think I can handle a few old ladies bitching.”
She nodded and walked off towards the back of the church.
Tosh wrapped her arm around his. “Ready?”
“Yea… I am.” He took a deep breath before heading inside.