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Magnus was happy to hold the young Shadowhunters rune ceremony party at his apartment in the same way he had done for the boys other great great great uncle Max so many years before. When Clary told him that she and her husband had decided to name their baby upon his birth Jace Alexander Evenvale in memory of two of his ancestors he smiled, happy at the idea and only later when they had left his apartment and he was alone again did he allow the tears to fall down his face.
He had gotten so good at pretending to the world that he was fine. He slowly stopped going to the park by the time baby Alexander had grown into a toddler, telling himself he had to stop and the few times he had gone back over the passing few years he hadn't seen Marianne or either of her children and mentally kicked himself for losing contact, even if it had been the proper thing to do.
He had magically sealed their wedding album so it wouldn't age and stored it carefully away, in a trunk in his bedroom along with his box of mementos and after placing the blanket they used to wrap around themselves against the chill of the air when they curled up on the chair on the balcony many evenings on top of both he locked it with both the key and magic before placing the key in his safe.
Watching the young Shadowhunter he could see both his parents in him, he had his fathers facial features but both his mothers red hair and green eyes and for the first time in a couple of years he found himself remembering the baby in the park, who was about two years older than little Jace and wondered where he was now, losing himself in his thoughts.
“Hey, Magnus.” Clary said softly. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fine biscuit.” He told her with a faint smile, feeling a tear slide down his face before he realised it was there.
“No, your not Magnus.” She said. “Talk to me.”
“Not here, at your sons party, today is for him.” Magnus replied, shaking his head.
“He, or anyone else won't notice if we slip out for a moment.” She told him, holding out her hand.
Magnus hesitated for a moment before taking it and let her lead him into his bed room, closing the door behind them and sitting down on the edge beside him.
“Tell me what you were thinking about” Clary insisted.
“I was thinking of the party I hosted for Max around the same age as Jace.” Magnus told her truthfully. “It didn't go exactly to plan, but ...”
“It reminded you of Alec?” She finished for him.
Magnus nodded, then thought for a moment before continuing.
“And then I couldn't help but remember another Alexander, the baby from the park.”
“You did the right thing Magnus.” Clary told him. “You couldn't spend years of your life watching him grow up, you needed to move on.”
“It didn't work biscuit.” Magnus admitted. “I put on a good show though, don't I? I have thrown myself back into Pandemonium and tried to get on with my life. Tried to become the man I used to be, but I just can't do that to Alexander's memory.”
“Magnus, you did what was right.” Clary said, taking his hand in hers. “And, you could be right, he could be your Alexander come back to be with you and if that it so, then it will happen. One day you and he … your souls will find each other again.”
“But he's a mundane Clary, even if we are mean to be together how can I cope with losing him all over again?” Magnus asked, eyes welling up with tears.
“You told me once, a long time ago that if Alec had ever suggested that he wished there was a way to become immortal before he died then you would find a way to make it so.” Clary replied carefully.
“First I'd have to let him into the shadow world and we know how that can end.” Magnus sighed, brushing away the tears with his free hand.
“You can't keep living like this, I know he wouldn't want you mourning him for all your long life.” Clary told him. “It's not healthy, I think you need to speak to Catarina again, or Dorothea. I have to be honest, I am worried that you might … try and take your own life.”
“Maybe it would be better if I did, for everyone.” Magnus said, dropping his gaze down to his knees.
“Don't you even think about it Magnus Lightwood Bane.” She told him bluntly. “Ever.”
“I wish I could stop my heart and soul yearning for him.” Magnus replied quietly. “I can stop my mind thinking of him at times, but there is always this strange feeling inside me that won't stop.”
Clary reached over with her hand and wiped the tears from his face.
“Magnus, I am sorry but I don't think you should be alone tonight.” Clary replied. “Living here alone all these years isn't good for you. I think you should call Dorothea or Catarina, I know they worry about you too.”
Magnus was about to protest than the door slid open and Jace came running excitedly.
“Mum, you have to come and see.” He said excitedly. “You too Uncle Magnus, you have to see this.”
He grabbed his mums hand and pulled hard, trying to pull her up off the bed.
“Okay, we're coming.” She told her son with a smile. “Aren't we Magnus?”
“Sure.” Magnus agreed, still holding her hand as Jace pulled them through the dwindling party guests and out to the balcony where Magnus stopped, open mouthed at the sight before them.
In the setting sunlight, all over the wall of the apartment were butterflies flapping their wings in the last of the warmth of the day. Dozens of butterflies in many colours, along with one lone butterfly in the familiar colours of those before it flew down and landed on Magnus' hand.
“He's still here, he's still in the area.” Magnus smiled, raising his hand to look closely at the butterfly. “It's been so long since we saw the last one, it has to be a sign.”
“A sign of what?” Jace asked curiously.
“That the strange feeling in my heart isn't wrong.” Magnus told him, “That one day I will meet him again.”
“Who?” Jace asked.
“I'll explain later.” Clary told him. “Come on, time to go home. Magnus, promise me that you will speak to Cat or Dot?”
“I promise.” Magnus replied, the butterfly finally flitting away.
Clary gave him a kiss on the cheek and took Jace back inside, joining the last of the guests leaving.
Magnus pulled out his mobile and send Cat and Dot both texts, asking them to come to his apartment if they were free and they portaled in a few minutes later, one after the other, thankful to see a small smile on their friends face.
How precious is this love we share
How very precious, sweet and rare.
The End