Chapter Text
Her yo-yo swung across the darkening sky, scraped of oranges and purples filled the sky as her 'Lucky Charm' disintegrated in the air, fixing everything in her wake. It was a long, tiring battle with Chat Noir, although he had to leave due to an emergency. For some reason, Ladybug just didn't believe that. As she landed gracefully on the rooftop of her apartments, she whispered her transformation, "Spots off!", leaving her as plain Ol' Marinette. It felt bittersweet, being on this rooftop all alone, looking at the cars that brushed past the horizon and soft grey clouds settling in the sky. They almost seemed to cover the beautiful rays of colors that the sun was once beaming. At moments like these, she wondered what Chat was doing all by himself. Even though they didn't know each other's real identities after about 5 years of fighting, she couldn't help but know at least a few things about him.
And those being: Chat Noir was alone. He had no one waiting for him at home. He didn't have the warmth of blankets and many friends to visit him when the days get rough. Marinette rested her crossed arms on the cool, slightly rusting rails. Why did she treat Chat Noir like such shit when they were younger? Of course, she was a kid, she didn't know what he went through. Hell, what he is going through. Ever since she found out a year ago as Marinette, she tried her best to be the friend the Chat Noir truly deserved. But did that just make everything better? Is it truly improvement?
Tikki fluttered out of Marinettes messenger bag, resting on her friend's shoulder. Marinette felt so comfortable calling Tikki more-so a friend rather than just a Kwami! “Hey Marinette, what are you thinking about?”
Her tiny voice slightly startled Marinette, as she was deep in thought about Adrien at this point. About... What happened, “I don’t know Tikki, I’m thinking about a lot of things these days.” She paused as she swallowed hard, “I can’t help but think about how many secrets I kept. How many things I want. How I treated the people who cared most. Tiki... Adrien has been engaged with Kagami for a year now. I think I’ve moved on but,” She casted her eyes to the sky, “Is it right if it’s Chat that I’m... worried about?”
Tikki kept silent, taking in everything Marinette just said. It’s true, Adrien is marrying Kagami, but not at will. He didn’t even get a say in what he wanted, but Marinette just knew that it was her he didn’t love. She couldn’t be, 5 years of knowing each other and nothing happened. Even after she got her shit together and was able to talk to him without sounding like a complete idiot, he didn’t make any effort for them to get closer and there was nothing she could do. And so, she got over him. Had a fling with Luka for a second time until she went to college and he left for an American school.
“Chat has always shown..” She stopped her sentence. She was going to say the word, “me” but was that really true? He was deeply and utterly in love with Ladybug. That’s who he has always shown love and care towards, not her. At least, in her mind. Sure, as Marinette, Chat Noir would come and spend time with her. They would talk and just breathe. That’s what they both needed, either as civilians or superheroes. And Marinette hoped at the bottom of her heart, that Chat Noir had moments of rest as a civilian. A moment to just sit and stop.
“Marinette? You have too much weight on your shoulders, maybe you should go on vacation!” Tikki said giggling. Marinette smiled gently at the tiny little creature in front of her. She gently pets her, “Thanks Tikki. Now, I think I need some alone time to-”
Plop!
Plop! Patter! Plop!
BOOM!
“Think.” Marinette finished her sentence, groaning at the weather change. Tikki nodded and flew off somewhere while Marinette settled under the little umbrella chairs. “Chat...” She said his name out loud with much to ponder. She smiled thinking about him. His blond hair and cat-like eyes. So green and mesmerizing. She couldn’t deny it any longer, Chat was so beautiful to her. She loved his puns and she found him so charming as the years passed. Yet, thinking just didn’t feel like enough anymore. She yearned to feel his long, slender hands in hers. But not as Ladybug, but as Marinette. She wanted to have more days with him where they just talked or vented. Where they laughed and joked and helped each other without the heated awkwardness, but as their selves.
However, she didn’t know what these things meant. Did she... love Chat Noir? Sure, as a friend she was loyal and cared deeply for the street cat, but what if it was more. More than she’d like to admit. But she knew it was true, she wanted to be the one he came to always. She wanted him to be hers. She wanted- Her cheeks heated as she heard a familiar plop on the roof she sat on, interrupting her thoughts. I need to tell him.
“Marinette? It’s pouring, why aren’t you inside?” Chat Noir asked as he sat next to her on the same chair. It was a tight squeeze, and Marinette blushed horribly as she brushed against Chat Noir. She felt her heart racing, oh no.
“Ah, well,” She turned to look Chat in the eyes. All she saw was worry and... happiness? “I was watching the sunset and I lost track of time.” She giggled and turned back to staring at the rainy sight of Paris.
“We all have those days. I’m having one of those today. Is it okay if I vent tonight?” Chat asked, staring at her, “I need a true friend.”
A true friend, huh? Marinette could handle that much. She nodded, leaning on his shoulder. He smiled and chuckled,
“Thanks Mar, I really appreciate you listening. See, it’s about Ladybug.” She felt frozen, what about me?
“Yeah? What happened? Did that horrible Akuma do something? Are you sure you should be telling me about your guy's problems? I don’t want to-”
“Shush. You’re a little bit talkative, my princess. It’s nothing bad, at least I don’t think so.” He pauses to glance at her, smiling, “It’s something really good actually.”
Chat Noir nodded his head, seeming to reassure something he was thinking as Marinette looked at him, “Well, I think I’m over Ladybug. I think I finally just... stopped. Someone else has my heart and I feel really shitty, Mar. I know I said I’d stay loyal to her and love her no matter what.” He paused, looking for the right words.
“I just don’t love her romantically anymore... I stopped a year ago. What do you think?”
Marinette stayed silent as her brain went in frenzy. He didn’t love her anymore; well, he didn’t love Ladybug anymore. What exactly did this mean for them as friends and as partners. Does this mean that he found someone else... Someone better maybe?
“Well, that’s really weird since you’ve been in love with Ladybug for 5 years-”
“Four. I don’t know how or why, but someone took her spots. Get it, ‘spots?’” Chat Noir laughed as Marinette laughed nervously. Who... Who took him? Who has his heart? Why am I not his anymore?
“Oh... That’s great Chat. I’m super happy for you, who’s the lucky girl?” Marinette asked to be polite, but she didn’t care. He was over her and it was bound to happen. But why isn’t she happy? Why is she so... So... heartbroken.
“I can’t say, Marinette, I can’t because if I did, I wouldn’t be able to keep my identity from you. But you know her. She so fucking beautiful. Her gorgeous black hair and her mysterious eyes, I love when they look at me. I love when she gets flustered over little things and I love how I loved her before I knew. Ever since I was 15, I knew it was her. It was her I truly wanted, but Ladybug clouded everything between us. I never pursued her romantically, because I was confused. I think I’m in love with her, but how could I if..” Chat trailed off, breaking his gaze Marinette, “How could I love one girl and say I love the other? How do I say I love you. And now I’ll never be able to tell her.” His voice was small, cracking. It was as if the weight of the universe was on his shoulders.
She couldn’t decide what to do. It felt so bad. Why am I not the one anyone loves? She closed her eyes and sighed, pulling away from Chat Noir,
“I think I know that feeling. This boy I know, Adrien Agreste? He’s getting engaged with his ex. Well, I guess she’s not his ex-anymore. I think he’s in love with her. I was broken up about it. Why didn’t I tell him I loved him when I was younger?”
Chat Noir tensed up, “Really?”
Marinette nodded and sat up fully, “And just like you, I can never tell Adrien he was the guy for me. I got him about a year ago too. I tried my best to be friends with him for years, showing my truest feelings. Never got across.”
Do it, Marinette, don’t lose this chance! She took his leathered hand into her soft ones, taking a breath, “I think I can’t lose this chance now. Chat, I think I have... very bad feelings for you. I mean good! I mean, unless they’re bad to you! Then they’re bad! But I...” She took his shocked face into her other hand, brushing her thumb against his smooth skin, “But I know they’re good.”
Thunder .
“Chat, can I kiss you? I want to know if you... if you ever thought of me this way. I’ve been feeling this way for so long. I longed to hold your hand and hold you. I want so badly kiss you and nurse you to health with my mom’s baked goods. I want you, Chat. And I understand that I might not be that girl, I couldn’t be. But I can’t skip out on this chance like I did Adrien.”
Clap of thunder pulled them both closer to the other. Chat smirked and slowly leaned into her. He laced his fingers with hers, pulling her in for a soft and gentle kiss. No words could describe both of their hearts.
In sync and racing, intertwined and yearning for the other’s touch. Closer and closer, their bodies were pressed together. Marinette pulled away as she looked at him,
“I love you, Kitty.”
He said nothing, looked at her with a worrying look.
“Plagg, claws in.”