Work Text:
Preminger sat regally upon his throne, lazily inspecting the gold rings which decorated his fingers. He had finally done it. He was king and it felt so good…
Preminger had all that he desired, like a moat, an ermine coat and palace views.
And yet, something was missing. Though he wasn’t sure what it was, Preminger felt somewhat purposeless now that he had achieved his goal of becoming king. The princess and queen had both been dealt with, and now there was nothing more to do aside from his royal duties. Speaking of which, Preminger remembered he had to attend the local middle school later this afternoon for a tour.
He sighed. The king has no business visiting some peasant school.
Surely there were more important things he could be doing, but alas he had to keep up appearances.
//fastword to the school//
Greg Heffley took quick strides toward the cafeteria, as he approached a large crowd of adolescents came into view. What were they so concerned about anyway, probably something stupid. His pondering was soon answered by the interruption of one Rowley Jefferson.
"Hey Greg! didn't you hear, King Preminger is visiting the school!", his best friend explained enthusiastically.
"What?!" Greg panicked, quite frankly he was blindsided by this information. The king.. was here? This could be his chance to network with literal royalty. If he could charm the king then perhaps he could be adopted, taken in as air to the throne even! Greg would be rich and not to mention popular.
Before Rowley could answer his question, Greg was already off, displaying not one single shred of concern for his loyal friend.
Greg pushed through the masses, pathetically weaseling his way to the front of the crowd. He had to consciously hold his mouth shut as he marveled at the sight before him. It was Preminger, King Preminger. The king stood flamboyantly in the center of the large crowd, looking quite frankly disgusted at the onlookers. Two skinny men stood between Preminger and the crowd. The pair of twinks wore sunglasses, as if to be intimidating and yet could not look less threatening if they tried.
Preminger cleared his throat, and the gabble of middle schoolers suddenly quieted.
*Ahem* Preminger looked pointedly at one of his lackeys, “Introduce meee...YOU IDIOT!”, he growled.
“Uhh right! Right away boss!”, the assistant scrambled.
“That’s KING boss to you!”, Preminger scoffed, less than impressed at the whole affair.
The assistant continued dumbly, “Uh King boss.. Uh! I mean King Preminger has come for a tour! This afternoon he will be signing autographs at the front of the school”.
Preminger rolled his eyes.
At that moment the school bell rang abruptly and with that the crowd quickly dispersed in a stampede like fashion. Greg knew this was his only chance. He pushed and shoved against the current of kids, slowly getting closer to the King. Greg was knocked to the ground but scrambled to his feet determined. He managed to make it within just meters of the King and called out over the chaos, “Your Highness! Wait!”.
Preminger looked Greg up and down with disgust then turned on his heel and continued walking.
“Wait! King Preminger!” Greg tried again, not willing to give up. Preminger paused, not turning around to face the little sociopath. “King Preminger! I- I wanted to take this opportunity to introduce myself! I’m Greg Heffely! I’m on the safety council! I wanted to ask you if you are looking for any new assistants!” Greg stuttered out quickly. He then gathered himself and spoke again with a more confident tone, “I noticed this guy isn't the sharpest tool in the shed if you know what I mean...” he said, covering his mouth with one hand and pointing his thumb over his shoulder at one of the assistants.
“Here take my email address and maybe we can work something out?” Greg ventured boldly.
Preminger turned to face Greg, looking down his nose at him before snatching the paper from the boy's hands.
“Why don’t you stick to your books? Schoolboy”, Preminger sneered before dropping the paper on the ground and walking off, “Ahahaaha”, he cackled cruelly.
Greg looked at the floor dejected. He would just have to settle for trying to get an autograph and selling it, though this plan B wouldn’t result in half the money he had hoped his original plan would.
//At the autographing table outside the school//
Greg hurried outside to the signing table, and once again shoved everyone out of his way.
“King Preminger! Could you sign my yearbook?” Greg asked, hopeful that the King had forgotten their last encounter.
“How could I refuse?” Preminger replied sarcastically.
Greg started to pass his yearbook to the king when he was suddenly interrupted.
“Hey loser! Get in!”, yelled Rodrick as he tumbled out of his van, the key still in the ignition and smoke clouding the surrounding area.
Preminger looked up to see the drummer, he stared in awe. Never in all his years had he witnessed anyone like it. Preminger was immediately intrigued and dropped Greg’s year book on the ground, striding toward Rodrick.
“Why hello there,” Preminger said.
Rodrick tilted his head in confusion then sidestepped the king, having no idea who this strange man even was.
“uGHh”, Preminger grunted in offense. Who did he think he was?!
“Lets go Greggy!” Rodrick shouted. Greg climbed into the back of the van, having completely given up on everything.
Rodrick sped off without a second glance, leaving Preminger in a cloud of dust.
Preminger was gobsmacked. Never in his life had he been so disrespected! And yet he was in awe at the very sight of Rodrick. Everything from his greasy hair to his eyeliner to his broken van was just something else. Preminger had found his new muse.
Yes this was it, this is what he had been looking for. He would reinvent himself in Rodricks image. It was decided, he would go shopping immediately and he would have to find a way to contact the man to learn all of his secrets to maintaining his god like presence.
// Fin //