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"It's our last mission."
"After that one, we're done."
"I don't care for all of that, we can leave every day we want."
Lies, lies, lies, told at every hour, every few days.
And every time, although Chuuya knows he shouldn't believe the bandaged man in front of him, he does.
Because after every mission, Chuuya asks Dazai if they can go. They got their things packed in small suitcases months ago. They're still waiting tucked under their beds.
And after every argument, Dazai tells him about all the things they're going to do. Every small part of Japan they're going to see, every arcade game they're going to beat...
And every, god damn time, Chuuya believes him. He wants to.
After one of the worse missions, during which he needed to use Corruption, his body is weak, he's barely conscious, as he looks at the dark sky above him.
Dazai is right next to him in no time. They look at each other and he nods, dark hair for a moment covering his second eye as well.
"I know Chuuya I... once you recover... we're out of here. I promise".
But it's easier like that. Easier to go through the whole post-corruption thing, clinging to the thought about getting out of here in no time. To finally be free.
It takes him a week to get back on his feet. A week without seeing Dazai. Every time he asked about him, he got a vague answer of Dazai preparing for something. And who can blame Chuuya for thinking that he was preparing for their gateway?
It's when he's called to Mori who tells him about Dazai going away for a solo mission for a month and him staying in Yokohama, Chuuya understands.
He was lied to once again.
He storms into Dazai's room, red glowing around him ominously, his fists closing and opening as he tries not to scream. Dazai looks at him, standing above his open suitcase. The suitcase he was meant to take to escape.
"Oh, chibi got out from the bed? You sure look-."
"You lied" his voice is trembling, but quickly gets louder and louder as he continues. "You lied and you lied and I, the fucking idiot that I am, believed you!" he couldn't care less for the tears that are now gathering in the corners of his eyes, making his vision blurry. "Well, guess what? I'm not that person anymore" he ends quieter, blinking and after that turning to the doors. "Go on your stupid mission. Go and rot there, and if you come back you won't see me here anyway".
He's not sure where he's going as the whole corridor is one big blur of colours and shapes. But he doesn't stop. He doesn't look back either.
You don't really realize how used you got to someone until this person is gone.
Seemingly one month with only a few small missions and a lot of paperwork feels like half a year. Without a bandaged freak that didn't even get to say goodbye before leaving for his mission.
"Well, you didn't say goodbye either..." reminds himself Chuuya, taking a bite of his onigiri. "You actually screamed like a kid and promised that he won't see you again".
But in reality, it's something different. It's waking up in a cold bed, it's not hearing his stupid jokes, it's not having hope for a better day.
It's... uneventful. It's tiring, to have days pass like that.
In two days Dazai should come back. That's why Chuuya enters his bedroom, having a weird need to just... be around mackerel's belongings.
To his surprise there he is. Sitting on the desk, next to him a gift basket with too many ribbons and probably too many bottles of wine.
"You're... back" Chuuya utters, blinking in confusion.
"And you're still here" goes a quiet response and if it wasn't a moment like that, Chuuya would laugh at the soft tone of his voice. He looks at the basket next to him. "It's... I... I'm sorry, Chuuya".
But he doesn't hear what comes after that. The next moment he's there, hugging Dazai, realizing how much he missed him, realizing how... even if they stay in Port Mafia, everything's going to be fine. As long, as they have each other.
"I should have recorded you... saying you're sorry" he murmurs, between kisses that he's not sure when they even began. "Something so rare...".
"I have to remember how much my dog is barking then... Something so obvious" goes a response, cut with another achingly sweet kiss.
Maybe one or five kisses won't fix everything.
But it's some kind of start nevertheless.
A start worth caring for.