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"Too much?" Lex asked, watching Clark's face as he came out the French doors at the back of the castle.
The blanket was spread out on the grass with a picnic basket artfully displayed to one side, along with several throw pillows, bottled water chilling in a container meant for wine, Chinese lanterns hung around the lawn for light, and of course, himself.
To his credit, Clark barely hesitated a step, walking down the steps from the stone veranda. He carried his telescope under one arm. "No butlers. Seems pretty restrained to me."
"Very funny." Lex felt relieved. He knew it was overdone, but it was difficult to decide how much to scale back his ideas of ordinary to fit Clark's. Especially when he was explaining them to someone else. It wasn't like he'd set this up after all. He'd just given the instructions. "I can always get some if it'd make you feel better."
"No, thanks. I like having you to myself."
Lex enjoyed Clark's blush before he moved forward to assist him. "Why don't you set the telescope up over here? The ground's a little flatter, I think."
"That'll work. It might be a bit bright out here though."
"No problem."
"What, you have the whole castle's lights on remote?"
"Something like that." Lex opened his cell and dialed. "Yes, it's me. Everything's fine. You can go now. Yes, please."
Two minutes after he'd hung up, the castle was dark, and only the Chinese lanterns illuminated the area.
"Yeah, that's better."
"If that's still too much..."
Clark smiled at him. "Should be fine."
"Great. Well..." He realized he was still holding the phone, and dropped it in his pocket. "I have absolutely no idea what we're eating. Dinner will be as much a surprise to me as it is to you."
"Fried chicken?"
"Possibly. But not grown on the property."
"Brussel sprouts?"
"I doubt my staff hates me that much." Lex folded himself down onto the blankets, propping himself up against a pillow, and waved at the basket. "Why don't you see?"
Clark was already kneeling next to it, but he turned to Lex at that. "You wouldn't be trying to get me to wait on you, would you?"
"You've discovered my evil plan."
Plates, linen napkins and silverware emerged from the basket, followed by grapes, a covered plate of cheeses and sliced meats, along with a small box of Lex's favorite wheat crackers. "I think I'm going to be hungry even after we're done eating. This is all finger food."
"My apologies. You can raid the refrigerator later if you like. I'm sure there's something in there."
Clark's head popped up and he looked at Lex. "What do you eat?"
Lex shrugged. "I do have a cook, you know."
"But what do you eat when you, like, want a snack or something?"
"The bowl of fruit inside is not just a decoration, you know."
Clark's nose wrinkled. "That's not real food."
"I live in an office most of the time, not on a farm. I'm used to surviving on caffeine and occasional doses of sugar."
"That's even worse, Lex."
"Don't worry. My cook makes up for it. Of course, I suspect you wouldn't consider her idea of meals food either. Dietician, you know."
"No, not really." Clark went back to the picnic basket and, after a second, exclaimed in delight. "This is more like it."
"What did you find?"
"Chocolate cake!" He bore his prize out proudly and sat it to one side.
Lex rolled his eyes, but couldn't help echoing Clark's pleased grin. "I hope that makes up for your earlier disappointment."
"Well, I won't be tempted to eat you now."
"I'm not sure whether I should be relieved or not." Lex stared at Clark, who was obliviously unwrapping the plate of meat and cheese. Idiot. He didn't mean that the way it sounded.
Clark looked up. "What?"
"Nothing. Try to leave some of that for me, will you?" He grabbed two of the water bottles, setting one where Clark could reach it, and twisting the other one open.
"Sorry, Lex. Mom says I'd eat the table if she cooked it first."
"Hickory-smoked, no doubt?"
"Blackened."
When Clark had finished with the meat and cheese plate, Lex selected a few for himself, and placed them on a plate. By then, Clark had gotten the cracker box open, and had nearly emptied it. Lex took a few, and sat back to enjoy the company.
"These crumble pretty easy," Clark said, holding up a cracker-cheese-meat sandwich that had fallen apart.
"Yes, they do. You have to handle them carefully, but they're worth it. Very... sweet, really, for a cracker. A little dry to eat by themselves though. I like them with cheese."
Clark frowned at his plate and tried again, with the same results as before. "They don't like me."
Lex licked his fingers clean of crumbs and then wiped them on his napkin. "Well, you are eating them. Perhaps they're trying to escape their inevitable destruction."
"I can't eat them if you make me feel sorry for them, Lex."
"Ah. Well, pretend they're evil crackers then."
"That isn't helping."
Lex's mouth turned up in a small smile. "If you don't finish your dinner, you can't have dessert."
"You just want the cake for yourself."
Accusation aside, Clark manfully tried again to eat his dinner. Lex reached for the grapes and began popping them in his mouth one at a time, still reclining against the cushions. It was dreadfully sybaritic, lying there and watching Clark. He rather liked it.
"You've found me out," Lex said lazily.
"Well, you can't have it. You're just going to have to share."
"I believe that it's actually my cake," Lex said, just for the pleasure of arguing about it. If Clark truly wanted it, he could have it. Hell, at the moment, he was feeling remarkably content with the world. There was nothing Clark could not ask him for that he would not give. The question was, would Clark accept it?
"You're my friend, aren't you, Lex?"
"Yes... are you going somewhere with this?"
Clark nodded. "And, as my friend, you want me to be happy, right?"
"I suppose so."
"Well, the cake would make me happy."
"All right then. I want you to be a chocolate cake so that you'll be happy?"
"Um, no." Clark looked thwarted. Lex smirked. "You want to give me the chocolate cake so I'll be happy."
"You forgot to wave your hand."
"Huh?"
Lex waved his right hand in front of Clark's face. "This is not the chocolate cake you are looking for."
"Jedi mind tricks don't work on me. Only chocolate cake."
"Just as well then that I have a chocolate cake."
Clark was unwrapping the cake and cutting it into pieces. "Um, actually, I have a chocolate cake. You're going to have to say 'please' if you want some."
"You want me to beg to have some of my own cake?"
Clark paused for a moment, as if considering it. "Yeah. I think I do."
"All right. But just remember, you asked for it."
"I did... Lex, what are you doing?"
Lex had uncurled from his sprawl and was now kneeling in front of Clark, a pose spoiled because Clark was sitting on the ground himself, but still worth it. "Begging. Now, hush. I don't do this very often, and I'd hate to have it spoiled."
Clark nodded obediently, using his free hand to pretend to zip his lip shut. His other hand clutched a plate full of cake protectively close to his chest.
Lex wanted that cake. More importantly, he wanted Clark to give it to him.
He edged a little closer to Clark, near enough to touch him. He'd noticed a bit of frosting on that free hand. He could work with that.
"Clark," he said in his silkiest tone, capturing that hand, and bringing it to his mouth. It trembled in his grasp, as though Clark wasn't sure whether to pull it back or let Lex have it. Lex extended his tongue and slowly licked the chocolate frosting from Clark's fingers and the edge of his palm. Still holding Clark's hand near his mouth, he looked up at him, breath brushing over Clark's skin, "May I please have some chocolate cake?"
Clark looked pole-axed. Numbly, as if on automatic pilot, he thrust the plate of cake at Lex, who took it, chortling.
Lex grabbed a fork and sank back into the cushions with his prize, very pleased with himself and with the expression on Clark's face.
"Lex?"
"Yes, Clark?"
"You just licked my hand."
"You noticed."
"Why did you lick my hand, Lex?"
Lex raised his eyebrows, and gestured at Clark with the plate. "Cake, Clark? Remember?"
"Oh."
Under other circumstances, he would probably be concerned that he'd broken Clark, but at the moment, Lex was quite happy. He ate the cake with quick neat bites, then set the plate back and got his water bottle. The other plate of cake was still untouched.
"Er, Clark, are you going to eat your cake?"
"Did you want it?"
"No, not particularly."
"You aren't going to lick me if I try to eat it, will you?"
Lex studied Clark. He still sounded stunned, which didn't seem like such a good sign anymore. "Should I be apologizing for that, Clark? I will if you want me to."
Clark shook himself, then looked up at Lex from under a fringe of dark hair, smiling hesitantly. "No... I... you just caught me off-guard, that's all. It was... different."
Lex returned the smile, a little relieved. "Eat your cake, Clark."
He sipped the water, watching Clark as he ate the cake. Clark seemed subdued, and Lex regretted what he'd done. Teasing Clark wasn't worth it if it pushed him away.
Lex got up, feeling a need to give Clark some room. "You can leave everything where it is when you're done. Someone will clean it up." He went over to the telescope, checking it over. He knew a little about them, not as much as Clark, but enough not to break anything.
He heard Clark moving around, and assumed he was tidying up anyway. Lex didn't look at him. If Clark needed distance, he'd give it to him. His friendship was more valuable than a chance at something more, however much Lex wanted it.
"Here," Clark said finally. "Let me get that set up for you."
Lex stepped back, well out of touching range. "I'll defer to the expert."
Clark fiddled with it for a moment, then straightened and waved to the eyepiece. "You can look now. They're the same stars I have at my house, though."
"I tried to rent some new stars for the occasion, but there's a two-week waiting period."
"Is there anything you can't make a joke out of?"
"Not really." Humor as defense; one of his specialties. Lex looked at the view through the telescope, then straightened up and moved away from Clark.
Who just stood there. Watching Lex.
"Don't make this more difficult than it is, Clark," Lex said in a low, dark voice. "I... crossed the line a minute ago. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
He didn't know what he was waiting for, but it wasn't for Clark to drop his eyes, obviously still uncomfortable.
Lex closed his eyes for a moment against the pain, then opened them again. He had to face this. He couldn't ruin this. He searched himself for the words to make this all right.
"Is this just a game to you, Lex?"
"Excuse me?" Clark's question caught him off-guard.
"You heard me. Did you... is this all some sort of joke?"
Clark's eyes were meeting his now, and it wasn't an improvement. "I'm not sure what you mean," Lex temporized.
He saw Clark's shoulders slump. "I guess so. I... I think I'll go home now. Get an early start on tomorrow."
"You don't have to go."
"Yeah, I do."
"I don't want you to go." Clark stopped putting the telescope away, and Lex moved forward, gripped one of Clark's arms. "Please."
Small smile from Clark. "All right. Just..."
"Whatever you want."
"Can you stop playing? I mean, I know I should be able to just... take it in stride and laugh about it, but I can't. Not like you do."
Slow blink as the world was picked up, shaken and set down to reform into a different shape. "You think I'm playing with you?"
Clark won't look at him. "It was funny at first. Talking about us dating and whether my dad would shoot you. But it isn't funny anymore."
"Clark..."
"I tried. I wanted to... to be like, someone you could have that kind of joke with. Your other friends. I just... I'm not as sophisticated as all that."
"Clark. I. Wasn't. Joking."
"Huh?"
"How many friends do you think I have?" Lex demanded. "I have you. That's it. I made a joke of it so you could back away if you wanted. I don't want to lose you, Clark, because I..." He stopped, let go of Clark, and scrubbed at his face with his hand. "Jesus, Clark. No, I don't want you to go, and I wasn't playing with you. Furthest thing from it."
"You were serious about everything?"
"Everything is a large area."
"Lex..."
It wasn't supposed to go like this. Wasn't supposed to end up in a confrontation where he could lose everything, where his willingness to be honest could be the turning point. His father would despise him at this moment -- 'always too ruled by your emotions', he'd said to Lex, and right now, well, he was. "I'm in love with you, Clark. That's the truth, no joking involved."
"I didn't know. How long?"
His lips quirked. No point in hiding now. "Since you gave me back the truck."
"I never realized."
"I figured. Why do you think I tried so hard to throw you at Lana?"
"Um, Lex. That doesn't make any sense. Why... why try to get me together with Lana if you... I don't get it."
He wanted very badly to touch Clark. To physically bridge the gap between them that seemed to be widening every second. "I thought you were straight, Clark."
"Oh. Er... I probably was?"
"Christ. Clark, this is a bad time to be figuring out your sexuality."
"I'm in high school. Isn't that a normal time to... er, explore?"
And even at 17, Clark was just so fucking young. He couldn't expect Clark to know what he wanted just because Lex did. "Yes. Yes, it is."
"And you love me?"
No, Clark owned him, with those words having been spoken, and Lex had never regretted a virtuous impulse more than his previous moment of honesty. "Yes."
"So it would be okay with you if I... um... touched you?"
Hard swallow. Hot flush of desire. "Clark... be very sure that this is what you want. Because, yes, this is a great time of your life to explore your sexual orientation -- but not with me."
"Lex?" Hurt expression, and Clark was backing away.
"I want you, Clark. Make no mistake about that," Lex told him, and Clark halted, eyes shining. Lex hated to do this, but he had to. "I'm not going to be able to be noble about this. If you... if we get together, I doubt I'll be able to let you go."
"That's a lot of commitment, Lex."
Harsh smile, one that twists him up inside. "You didn't like the idea that I might be playing with you, Clark. I don't want to be played with either."
Clark nodded. "Can I think about it?"
Lex bowed his head. "Of course." And that was that. He'd overplayed his hand. Worse, used reason when he could probably have seduced Clark into a quick, easy acquiescence.
Not that quick and easy would have meant anything to Lex. He could have both any time he desired, from any number of partners.
He turned and mounted the steps behind him, finding a place on the cool stone to sit and watch the stars. Watched Clark take the telescope and walk across the lawn, out of Lex's view and around the house, to his truck, no doubt.
Rested his elbows on his knees and wondered absently if crying would help the hard, hurting ache in the center of his chest.
Quiet night, loud enough for the recriminations to nearly drown him. So this was what self-sacrifice felt like. Self-sacrifice sucked.
He shut his eyes. He didn't want to see the scene of his disgrace anymore.
The touch of a warm hand against his was the first thing that alerted him to Clark's return.
Lex looked up; Clark was kneeling in front of him, face hopeful. "I'd like to try, Lex. I... I like you a lot. I care about you. If you think that's enough, I'd like to see what happens. If it's okay with you?"
He closed his eyes for a moment, just long enough to utter a brief prayer of thank you to whoever watched over fools and multi-billionaires, then reopened them. "Yeah, Clark. It's enough."
And he leaned forward to kiss Clark, who -- Christ! -- met him more than halfway.
-the end-