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The group rode in silence, better not to be tracked, better not to think aloud. They cut across roads, took the shortcuts Lan had learned on the way over, even in the cold rain of that night before many nights. Time was borrowed, not bought. Hurry.
Whenever the group reached a straightaway, such that the young possible Dragons could find the path with no minding, Moiraine and Lan hung back, looking and feeling for pursuit. The Fade would make a crossing soon enough. The Whitecloaks could change their minds and come looking for another ring. It was too much to hope the two would find each other.
They made fast time, of necessity, even while checking every trail and not pushing the horses too hard. Hurry.
Even terror becomes monotonous if a man repeats it enough.
Hurry. Hurry.
Whatever you need to do, do it on horseback.
"Do you want to talk about it, Moiraine?" It was not quite a whisper. The others were far enough ahead for speech that was merely soft.
The Aes Sedai patted Aldieb’s neck. "About what?
"About the idea of someone trying to save their family being a foolish cause?"
Her hand, the one that was still strong, gripped the reins a bit tighter. "If I offended you, Gaidin, I apologize." Her eyes roved over the latest set of tracks, and then turned forward again, apparently satisfied.
"It's not my family I'm thinking of, Moiraine." Lan knew that the woman he was talking to was the truest family he could ever hope to have alive anymore, either way, and it had been more than once he would have dreamed of. But this was not about families chosen but of fickle blood.
She gave him a brief cold look. "No, I do not wish to talk then."
"This was not the same thing as your situation." He said, very quiet, even beyond what it would take to make sure Egwene and the young men did not hear.
"You are talking."
"No one expects children to save their…"
She pulled up both their horses so sharp that the agony in her shoulder which resulted made him see vicarious white. "Wasting help when it will waste life on someone who is going to die whatever one does is foolish." She hissed. "Family or not. That is my position, Gaidin and you may hold me to it.”
Lan swallowed. Moiraine slowly unclenched her fists. The tension burnt her shoulder like a branding iron.
“But of course,” Lan said, riding up next to his bondholder and patting Aldieb’s neck because there was nowhere on Moiraine's body that he was sure would not cause her more pain, “Warders and Aes Sedai are different. A Warder’s life may never be wasted on his Aes Sedai.”
Moiraine frowned, “You may find out what it is to make that decision when this poison finds my lungs."
“Moiraine…”
“It is close. Do not pretend you cannot feel it Lan, I dislike being humored with false optimism. If you want to spend something, spend your prayers asking someone capable of healing this wound be sent our way.”
“I already am.” He said simply.
Moiraine nodded, solemnly, with a tightness in her face Lan could feel was involuntary. “Wasting your life is different than wasting their lives Gaidin.” She said finally, gesturing forward, “Remember it.”
Lan shuddered as she sped Aldieb toward the rest of the group. "Yes Aes Sedai." He muttered insincerely to her retreating back.