Chapter Text
It was a normal day in the Armed Detective Agency. Dazai was slacking, Kunikida was yelling, Ranpo was snacking.. It was all standard daily stuff, really.
Atsushi sighed as he placed yet another letter on top of his ever-growing stack. Maybe it’ll be another peaceful day in the agency. .
As if hearing his thoughts, the Agency’s door flew open with a slam, startling Junichiro who was walking past.
“Hello everyone~!!”
A man with red amburn hair burst into the Agency door with a declaration that left their mouth hanging open.
"I, Shikanoin Heizou, declare for the Shikanoin Detektib Agency to take over ADA's work!" The young man Heizou grinned at them with a confident pose.
No sound came from any of them, all of them are sure that their eyeballs would come off right now.
One beat of silence, and then another, and then—
"WHAT?!?!??!"
All of them yelled at the same time. Kyouka glared at the man and slowly pulled out a dagger that was hidden beneath her kimono, Atsushi took notice and lightly gripped her shoulder to calm her and thankfully it worked a little.
Dazai, who was listening to a double suicide, gazed blandly at Heizou, headphones forgotten as it dangled around his neck.
Everyone was gawking and demanded an explanation, everyone but Ranpo.
The Detective only sneered and took a bite of his muffin before standing up and approaching the intruder.
"Now now, don't you think you're getting ahead of yourself? You need the Special‐" by the time Ranpo said that, Heizou pulled out the permit granted by the government themselves, which he had already put into a folder and covered in smiley faces and notes that said “DETEKTIBS 4EVA <3”.
Ranpo only stared, "Wait here for a moment."
And with that he rushed out.
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Fukuzawa was enjoying his tea .
The man only wanted a moment of peace but unfortunately, peace seemed to be too great a demand, as Ranpo slammed open his office door.
“PREEEESIDEEENT—!!!!”
Good grief.
"What now Ranpo?"
“There's a stranger claiming they will be taking over ADA's work." The detective explained, leaning on the door for support.
Fukuzawa blinked.
"What?"
"He's in the office." Ranpo pointed at where the others were working and instantly Fukuzawa stood up making his way to the door.
"What's with this commotion?" His all serious face faded to a deadpan when he saw Dazai and a young man, probably the cause of Ranpo’s stress, drawing doodles on the still frozen Kunikida.
"Dazai." He sighed disapprovingly at the brunette which the other replied with a giggle before retreating to his couch.
"Why, you must be the famous Fukuzawa Yukichi!" Heizou idly walked his way to the President, stretching out his hand for a handshake, which Fukuzawa accepted gravely.
"If you don't mind, would you tell me your business here?" If there's anything Fukuzawa feels at the moment, it would be confusion. It felt like he was talking to another Ranpo with how much they resemble each other. He felt amused when he saw the batch of snacks the boy bought, even recognising a few brands as some of Ranpo’s favourites as well.
Heizou hummed. "Well Mr. Fukuzawa, we’ve gotten permission from the government officials themselves to take over your job!"
Fukuzawa frowned, he was about to reason with the young boy on why the Agency’s role is vital for Yokohama, alas. He was interrupted for the second time today when Naomi and Haruno slammed open the Office door.
"President, we're surrounded!"
"WHAT?!"
Just then, a crowd had entered the office. A horde of ten to fifteen people barged through the doors of the agency’s office. “HEIZOU! There you are!” A masked lad in a turtleneck, who appeared to be one of the few leading the charge yelled.
“I wasn’t told you’d be going outside of the agency today… or where you’re going for that matter.” A short person with purple hair peeked from behind the masked stranger. “Can we go now? There’s so many people I’m not familiar with here… and I’m tired.” They sleepily spoke before stifling a yawn.
“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ?!”
Nakahara Chuuya was having a great day, until he saw ADA's building surrounded by strangers, his first thought was something along the lines of what the hell happened here?
His phone rang in his pocket, when the screen lit up with the name Mori
"Chuuya-kun, we may have a problem here. Well, mainly the Agency"
Nakahara Chuuya was 22 when he realized how much he's done with everyone's bullcrap in this cursed city.
He took a deep breath and grumbled,
"Not to be rude, boss, but this involves that stupid mackerel THEN I’M OUT OF HERE !"
The Port Mafia boss only chuckled at the ginger’s tantrum.
‘Well, you’ll have to see for yourself, Chuuya-kun.”
The phone call ended with that, Chuuya swore to Arahabaki that he’d leave this cursed city one day.
"I better get a raise after this" he grumbled before taking off with his ability to ADA's roof. His feet collided with the stoned roof which instantly crumbled upon the impact.
"What do we do now?" Yosano gripped her chainsaw, darting her gaze around the building.
Everyone was on their guard, well…. everyone except for Kunikida whose face was covered in doodles and Dazai getting strangled by the ex-teacher.
They all froze when they heard something crumbling on top of them. Atsushi's eyes widen and shoved Kyouka along with himself just on time when a huge chunk of the roof fell down, destroying his and Kyouka's work desk. But most importantly is that on top of the chunk stood the Port Mafia executive, Nakahara Chuuya.
"CHUUYA ?!”
“THE HELL?!”
Soon after, Dazai found his face colliding with the cold floor.
Heizou’s moss colour eyes widened. “you are….”
Chuuya smirked, "Yeah, that's right, i am the one and only–"
"SO SHORT !!”
.
.
.
.
.
“WHY YOU– !!”
Heizou, either not noticing or not caring at the redhead’s rage, simply laughs, dodging away from his fist with a dramatic pose.
Alabaster started blankly at the mess in the office. “.. Well, who's going to fix that?”
“W-well, provided that nothing else happens, we could write it off as a rogue attack. We’d be completely uninvolved.” A blue-haired figure interjects, rapidly scribbling costs in a notebook. “As long as no more property gets damaged, we’ll be okay…”
As if on cue, the window panes shattered, the Agency members could only watch devastated as black tendrils latch themselves on Heizou– oh wait it went past him.
It was aimed at Atsushi.
Atsushi dodged the attack on time and cursed loudly for everyone to hear.
"Wait, these things are…. AKUTAGAWA ?!"
Heizou’s gaze moved over to examine the Agency’s office, which looked less like an office and more of a warzone. “Yikes, you live like this?”
"Disastrous, even I can't nap in these conditions." The purple-haired person mumbled, judging the current state of this so-called "office."
"It's normal" Ranpo shoved his snacks into his mouth not wanting to deal with whatever is going on in the office right now. Heizou attempts to stick his own hand in the bag, only to get swatted in the face.
"JINKO !!" Akutagawa yelled at the man-tiger, Atsushi could only groan at how awful his day was going.
"What do you want Akutagawa?!” it was not a question, it was a demand. Kyouka attempted to step in front of Atsushi with her dagger but Atsushi stopped her before she had the chance, he did not want to risk her getting hurt.
Fukuzawa sighed, defeated. Ignoring the hell that the office had become, he moved his gaze to the group that began the mess, now scattered about the office. Alabaster was seated on one of the fallen scraps of the now-destroyed ceiling. “ Shikanoin Heizou. I would like you and your group to leave the agency building immediately.” the president commanded.
"Hehe, sorry sir, no can do!" Heizou stuck his tongue at Fukuzawa, pulling at his eyebag as a mocking expression.
"Huhhh? I was hoping we could go to the agency and nap…" The purple-haired person pouted.
In the background, the same blue-haired figure as before attempts to sit at one of the desks, squeaking and hiding under it to shield herself from Yosano’s glare.
A light purple haired woman came in staring at the disaster, "What in the– Heizou! Our mission is to tell the workers that we're taking over! Not to terrorise them!" Her face quirked up with horror at the broken window panes and a huge chunk of the roof absolutely demolished.
"And why is the Port Mafia here ?!"
At the peaceful and less chaotic part of the office lies a woman with light-brown hair, sipping her tea while watching the scene unfold in front of her. “I’m not dealing with this.” She quietly said.
"Awhh come onnnn, Suzuki-chan you're no fun~" Heizou pouted at her, one would mistake him as a big baby if it weren't for the fact that he's highly intelligent.
"What do you mean no fun ?! You made the whole building an absolute mess !!" She devastatingly yelled at his face, smacking his head with the files she held.
“What do you mean I made it a mess? I'm not the one who busted the ceiling and windows, Suzuki-chan!” Heizou whined.
She stared at him pointedly, "Ho? Is that so?" She still didn't trust him regardless.
“We still have our agency, don’t we… Can we go back there and keep that as our base?” Calanthe asks, still hiding under the desk.
"Mhm, I have so much stuff at our own agency… like my plush army, blanket and pillow…" The small person raises a finger to their lip to ponder for a bit. "How long would it take to move though…"
Alabaster sighed, laying back on the large piece of rubble he was seated on. “The only possession I keep in our base’s that beanbag. . . if you really wanna move so quickly, Heizou, at least bring it with us.” They murmured, adjusting their mask.
Suzuki sighed, "Dear god, it was supposed to be a simple mission" her grip went slack on the files she held. How is she going to explain this all to the other President. "It is true we have our agency, but we still need this place for the other members, we've been having complaints on our Agency for not having enough space."
“I-With the roof caved in, I don’t think it’ll be any use to us now…” Calanthe sighs. “Maybe we can get those bunk bed desks to help maximise space?”
The doctor approaches the calm girl with a concerned face. “Aren’t you gonna help them?” She asked while pointing at her co-workers. “No no, this is interesting to watch.” She calmly says as she drinks from her small teacup.
Chuuya stared at the disaster of what you could call an office . Dazai hasn't even tried bothering him, he was too stunned at his beloved workplace getting wrecked to shambles. “Waaah.. Chibi look what you did~!! Where am I going to rest now..”
Atsushi and Akutagawa were currently having a shouting challenge while Kyouka hurled insults at Akutagawa, supporting Atsushi.
Alabaster covered his mask with his arms, exhaling heavily. “Haaah… leave me out of this.”
"So noisy… drag me back to base when our business here is done…" Sleepy Pareko spoke before crawling onto a random piece of rubble to take a power nap.
The two soon stopped their insulting competition. Atsushi exhaled, "Listen, the Agency’s in shambles, can we stop for a bit?!" He asked, agitatedly fidgeting in the spot.
Akutagawa covered his mouth with his hand and coughed briefly. "Whatever you- tch! Fine!"
Atsushi beamed at the man, sighing. Akutagawa felt his face slightly burning but instead he kicked Atsushi’s face, preventing the mantiger from seeing his own.
"WHAT THE HELL?!” Atsushi yelled, muffled as his hands clutched his now bruised face.
Kyouka, who saw the whole interaction scoffed, "Damn homosexuals."
“KYOUKA?!”