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Daniel couldn’t sit still.
Like, he physically wasn’t capable to.
The suspense was killing him, he wanted to go, to run to Max, close him in his arms and tell him everything was going to be okay. That it didn’t matter what place he finished on next day, the whole world wasn’t suddenly going to turn on him if he lost. He wanted to make sure Max knew that whatever happened, he was insanely proud of him, both as a driver and as a man.
Daniel wanted Max to know all of that.
He saw the post-qualifying interview, where the younger stated that he wasn’t nervous at all. Max might have been able to fool the world - he wasn’t going to fool Daniel though. He knew him like the back of his hand, he saw through the carefully curated facade, he knew exactly how nervous Max was to be fighting for his first title in the last race of the season.
Daniel wanted to shook him, to make him realize that he didn’t have to lie to everyone, that it was okay to admit whatever he felt. That having emotions didn’t make him weaker.
If he didn’t want to tell it to the world, he could tell only him, trust Daniel with his doubts, fears, worries.
Normally the older man would’ve bought a six-pack and sneaked it into Max’s room without either of their trainers knowing about it. He would’ve made sure that even if just for a little while, he managed to make Max think about anything else, than the race tomorrow.
Actually, the race wasn’t even the worst thing that the Red Bull driver could be thinking about tonight. The aftermath of the race - if he lost - was a much-much worse thing. And one that Daniel knew for sure that made even Max’s calm facade fall when he couldn’t get it out of his head.
Under normal circumstances, Daniel would’ve been on his way to Max’s room now.
But this wasn’t a normal weekend, not with Jos Verstappen guarding his son like a lion against every enemy and not with Kelly Piquet lurking over Max at every chance she got, just to shout it into everyone’s face that this was her boyfriend fighting against the 7-time world champion.
Yeah, right.
Daniel had nothing against Kelly, nothing at all. Other than the fact that she was dating the man he had so many feelings for.
The whole Kelly thing was like a punch in the gut for Daniel, and he knew that the little shit - Max - knew it. One of the biggest concerns the older one always had regarding his relationship with Max was the eight year age difference. Yet, just to show Daniel that it didn’t matter, Max started dating a woman whom he had an even bigger age gap with. Thus, she had a child that Max wasn’t the father of. Just to show into Daniel’s face that he could be in an adult relationship.
On a normal day the McLaren driver could handle Max dating Kelly just fine. It made the media happy, Jos happy, Red Bull happy and Daniel and Max got just enough time to spend in private with no prying eyes around them.
But not tonight, not when he desperately wanted to be next to Max. Not when he physically needed to hold him in his arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay, that he was extremely proud of him either way.
Because he was. Max has grown up from the 17-year-old puffy faced teen with anger issues into a world championship contender. He left most of the drama and outbursts behind him years ago. He was level-headed, calm, and amazing. Both as a driver and as a person he matured a lot and it filled Daniel with some sick pride that he played a part in Max’s growth.
Daniel showed Max how it was okay to care about anything other than racing. He showed him how to handle the constant stress, the pressure, but also that it’s okay to say that he can’t take any more. He made sure that the younger one always felt happy around him, that he was Max’s safe place. He also broke him in in some way, turning the tickling bomb teen into a calm and collected adult who could actually take the world.
Daniel’s phone buzzed, forgotten on the bed next to him, breaking the complete silence of the impersonal hotel room.
You up?
This was all the push he needed to jump out of the bed, throw some clothes on and be out on the door in less than 5 minutes.
Where are you?
It was well past either of their bedtimes, but Daniel couldn’t care less. He wasn’t the one to reach out first, keeping his thoughts to himself, but now that Max texted him, he couldn’t not see him.
It filled Daniel with sick pleasure, picturing Max with his ruffled hair, frustrated for not being able to fall asleep, tossing and turning around in his bed for hours while the beautiful woman was sleeping next to him, yet not waking her up but wanting Daniel to talk to. Thinking of him. And actually reaching out.
They have surely come a long way. A few years back Max would’ve suffered on his own, doing anything but showing that he actually needed Daniel.
Roof.
They were sharing the hotel this weekend, which seemed to be a lucky circumstance. The hotel was eerily empty, only some cleaners doing their job, no-one mindig Daniel as he walked through to the other wing of the hotel where they found the exit to the roof a few years back.
Max was already there, leaning over the railing, looking at the stunning Abu-Dhabi view in front of them when Daniel stepped beside him. He didn’t say a word, didn’t need to. For a few minutes they just needed to feel each others proximity, both calming and their thoughts quieting down.
Max looked tense - even more than usually. There was a hunch in his back, he pulled his shoulders up way higher than it could’ve been comfortable. His ocean blue gaze was looking forward, but he couldn’t really see anything. He smelt fresh of the hotel shower gel, his hair ruffled, like he just got out of bed after unsuccessfully attempting to fall asleep for a while. Just like Daniel pictured it.
Quite honestly, he looked like shit, the calm and collected driver that gave those interviews today nowhere to be seen anymore.
Yet, Daniel felt his heart skip a beat every time he looked at him.
“What if I don’t win?” Max asked eventually after the long silence, his voice merely louder than a whisper. This was something he didn’t even dare to ask himself, something he didn’t even dare to consider. As a driver you push, push, push. You don’t think about the chances, you don’t think about what might happen. At leash this was what Max has been telling himself until now, until the very last night before everything was decided.
Daniel sighed. He knew this was coming since he knew Max better than himself. He also knew that he had to be very careful when saying what he wanted to say.
“Nothing,’ Daniel shrugged, his tone sounding way too matter-of-factly. “The earth will turn, the sun will shine. You will still be Max Verstappen, one of the best drivers in the world.”
It’s almost ironic, this season being the most exciting and closest one for the last one or two decades, yet being the one in which Max didn’t let himself think about his chances for actually winning the WDC title. His younger years were always spent counting, doing the math of what he needed to do to win and how he needed to be better. Now, when he actually had the chance of winning, when there was only a light thread separating him from his dream, now he didn’t dare to believe that it could become reality.
“You know it’s not that simple,” Max scoffed impatiently, clearly not satisfied with that answer.
“I know, I know” Daniel nodded, biting his bottom lip before turning towards Max with his full body. “Look at me, Max,” he asked, his voice softer than before.
The younger one hesitated, and Daniel knew why. Even after all this time, even with them knowing each other’s best and worst parts, after being through so much together, Max didn’t want to let himself be seen vulnerable. It wasn’t something new, Daniel knew that any time Max was spending time with Jos or even Kelly, his walls were up so high that he made sure, no one could see any weakness in him. Every time he returned to Daniel afterwards, the Australian needed to bulldoze those walls and patiently show Max again and again that it was okay for him to have feelings, that it was okay to worry, to be emotional.
Now it’s been weeks - maybe even moths? - since the last time it was just the two of them, Jos being so eager to accompany Max to every race as the season was coming to an end and the championship was coming to being so close. Those thick and high walls weren’t just going to crumble down easily.
“C’mon, it’s me,” Daniel added, resting his hand on Max’s shoulder, trying to lessen the tension in his posture.
Yes, it was him. The one that has been there since Max started racing in Formula 1. The one that Max has called so many titles. Teammate, rival, ally, friend. Lover. The one that could read him like an open book and the one he was always going to feel comfortable with. The one he trusted more than anyone else in his life.
When Max eventually turned towards Daniel, his blue eyes were full of emotions. Daniel could read worry and uncertainty, maybe even some fear from them. Max was scared - and it clenched Daniel’s heart how much he reminded him of the small 17-year-old kid suddenly thrown into the machine that Formula 1 was.
Max seemed lost. Maybe that’s the most fitting way Daniel could describe him.
“What if I don’t win, Daniel?” He repeated the question quietly, his voice slightly hoarse, and the plea he said Daniel’s name with almost sounded heartbreaking. The older one wanted to close him in his arms, tell him that he was going to win, that he was going to have the word at his feet, that everyone was going to celebrate him.
But he couldn’t. He couldn’t promise something to Max that maybe, probably wasn’t going to happen, not even if it took everything in him not to. He needed to stay real and as hard as it was, he knew that’s what Max needed as well.
Sometime earlier his other hand found Max’s body too, not even noticing the action, as touching always came so naturally to him - and for some reason Daniel’s touch came natural enough to Max as well, not to flinch away. At least not anymore. Holding onto the younger man’s shoulder with one hand and resting the other at the nape of his neck, their bodies merely a few centimeters away, he didn’t give Max any chance to turn away again.
Unusually for him, he actually took his time forming his thoughts into words.
“If you don’t win,” Daniel started again, his voice soft and quiet, his brown gaze deeply connected to Max’s blue one. “I’m still going to be here. And I’m still going to love you.”
He could see the shock in Max’s eyes when the words left his lips and for a moment, Daniel was sure that he screwed up. For a second he thought that Max was going to push him away. He was stupid for wanting to bulldoze a wall with the three words the younger man could barely handle on a good day. Saying ‘I love you’ wasn’t something they often did. The feelings were there, they both knew it, but it was extremely complicated. Their relationship wasn’t exactly ideal - it was barely even a relationship to begin with.
Daniel wanted to hit himself in the face. He was supposed to calm Max down, not shock him with a declaration of love when there was more than enough on his plate already. He knew that Max was kind-of fine with whatever they were feeling for each other, until the moment it wasn’t spoken out loud, until the moment it didn’t become too real.
He was just about to mumble some joke, just to lighten the mood, or apologize and blame his words on the tiredness, when suddenly -
Max relaxed, tension slipping away from his shoulders. He closed the distance between them, burying his face into Daniel’s chest and breathing in his unique scent, calming his whole being. It was the older one’s turn to be a little bit shocked, but in a few seconds he reacted instinctively and pulled Max even closer by his waist, hugging him tightly.
“I’m extremely proud of you, Maxy,” he mumbled into his ear. “You’ve not just grown into a great driver, but also an amazing man. I honestly don’t know if you are going to win tomorrow, but I want you to know that you absolutely deserve it.”
He couldn’t see Max’s emotions anymore, but he didn’t really need to. The slight tremble of the other’s body in his arms told him enough. He buried his face in the dark gold locks, whispering calming words and trying to take the sweet scent with himself forever.
Daniel didn’t know whether or not Max was going to finish before Lewis the next day.
He had no idea if the man in his arms was going to fulfill both of their dreams and be crowned world champion tomorrow.
But He knew he deserved it. He knew he did everything he could, he gave it everything he had.
And he also knew that no matter what, he loved him.
In the end, that was all he needed to know.