Chapter Text
Working at a pet shop was just as boring as other jobs around your city. Just regular, rude customers day in and day out. Parents that buy their kids pets as a gift, only to beg for a refund days later. Teens coming in groups just to wander and poke at the animals. Occasionally, people actually looking for pets. It was rare that customers came in to purchase pets, especially since your workplace was rather exotic and not well known.
What is more rare, however, is the appearance of customers who genuinely care for animals. You had always been an animal lover, you were considered an Ultimate Tamer and even attended a world famous academy for your talent. You ended up at a pet shop in a random city because there wasn’t much profit in… well, taming animals.
About once a month, you noticed a man come in around the same time. He would always buy the same things: large bags of food, a few small toys, and a lot of bedding. You never got the chance to check him out at the register until today.
“Wow,” you laughed, “that’s a lot of food. How many pets do you have?” You looked up as you scanned an item and your eyes locked with his heterochromatic ones. Red and gray, you suspected they were contacts. More noticeably, a massive scar stood out on his eye.
“They are not merely pets,” the man sighed, “they are part of my army - my legion of pandemonium!” He crossed his arms. You giggled as you scanned another item and placed it in a bag. “Well, how many members of your army are there? This sure is a lot of food.”
He stood there and raised his dark purple scarf to cover his nose. ”There are… many members. Dozens.” You nodded and continued scanning. “Do you like, breed and sell animals? Recruit your army?” You worried that you may be asking too much for just a customer, but he seemed happy to be asked. “It is not something a mere mortal like you would understand - to state my profession so simply would be impossible.” You hummed. “So you’re a professional breeder. That’s cool!”
He scoffed. “Fool, I am not just a ‘professional breeder’,” the man pulled his scarf down and dramatically spread his arms. “I am Gundham Tanaka, the Ultimate Breeder!” Four little hamsters crawled out of his jacket and sat upon his shoulders. You cooed gently and complemented the cute little babies.
You paused. “Wait,” you stopped scanning for a second, “Ultimate Breeder? Did you go to Hope's Peak Academy too?” You stared at his face for a few seconds, hoping something would click. He crossed his arms and smugly said yes. You continued scanning and placed the last item in a bag.
“Well, Gundham Tanaka the Ultimate Breeder, I also went there a few years ago. I am Y/FN Y/LN, the Ultimate Tamer. I don’t know if we ever met.” You nodded at him and clicked some buttons on the register. “Also, your total is $243.69”
He grabbed his card from his black leather wallet and inserted it into the machine. You noticed the four hamsters now lifting some of the lighter bags and dragging them off the rack.
“I do not remember you. I never cared for a single human in that building, as the Supreme Overlord of Ice does not have such primitive emotion.” You somehow weren’t expecting him to be so blunt about it. You also weren’t expecting it to be funny.
“Thank you for shopping here, Gundham. I hope your business goes well - your hamsters are quite cute.” You smiled as you handed him the receipt. He stuffed it into his pocket as he picked up the hamsters and placed them gently on his shoulders. One scrambled to sit on top of his head, while another buried into his scarf. “They are not hamsters,” he spat, “they are the Four Dark Devas of Destruction! They are merely… Manifesting as hamsters to those who are not on such a powerful astral level. Had you seen their true form, you would be paralyzed with fear.”
“I’m sure I would be,” you quietly laughed. “Have a good day, my Lord.” He picked up his bags (some of which you thought would be too heavy to carry together, but he surprisingly did it just fine!) and made his way toward the exit. “I extend that grace toward you as well, mortal.”
You didn’t see him again until the next month, in which the same instance happened. You checked him out at the register and had a conversation in which he found a way to insult you, though you didn’t take it personally. You found his whole demeanor to be quite entertaining. Not in a bad way, but he was quite obviously a little bit feral.
The same thing happened for the next few months. You gradually began to get to know him, and was upgraded from the status of ‘mortal’ to ‘noble’ after expressing genuine interest in his profession. He one day came in off schedule, a few weeks before he would usually return. You were cleaning a cage when you had heard a familiar dark voice from behind you.
“Noble Y/N, I seek your assistance on a professional matter.”
You turned around to see Gundham, and greeted him with a smile. You backed away from the cage and gently closed it, then gave your full attention to him. “What’s up?” You asked, wiping your hand on your jeans.
He gently crossed his arms and peered around the store. “I must acquire a winged creature, and I am unsure of where to begin.” You paused for a moment as you tried to decipher what he had said. “Oh, a bird? We have plenty! Come this way!” You tapped his shoulder and led him to the section of the store with birds. You tried not to notice your heart rate increase once you realized that was the first time you and him had made physical contact.
“We have a bunch of birds back here, plenty of breeds to pick out. Are you looking for a new member of your legion?” You turned to him and smiled. His face turned a little pink. “I am glad you remembered. My legion is running quite low on wings, I thought it would be pleasant to search for a new one here since I am unable to catch one wild.”
You hummed and watched him stare at the animals in front of him. He slowly walked down the aisle and examined each bird. After a bit of silence, he spoke up. “These simply will not do,” he sighed. “They lack the cognitive operation that is common among their wild brethren.”
You giggled. “My birds are too stupid for you?” He straightened his posture and crossed his arms. “To put it simply, yes.” He wandered the aisle for a minute more before turning back to you. “Noble Y/N - if I remember correctly, you are the Ultimate Tamer. Am I correct?” You nodded. “So naturally, it would not be impossible for you to tame a wild beast, such as a winged creature or perhaps even a hellhound.” You hummed and crossed your arms too. “In theory, yes. I’ve never done it, though.” “Very well,” he said. “It has been decided, you shall come with me on the next day of rest to tame one of these wild creatures.”
You stood shocked for a second. You didn’t know which part to respond to first - the order to help him, the taming, or the odd day. “Gundham, I don’t know if I can.” He looked surprised. “You do not know?” You shook your head and averted his gaze. “The only wild animal I’ve tamed are dogs and land animals. I’ve never even tried birds.” Gundham leaned against the aisle shelf as a hamster popped out. It squeaked into his ear, and he nodded. “I suppose it is worth a try,” he spoke to you. “You will never know your true capabilities unless you test your skills to the fullest.”
You smiled and led him back over to the exit. “I’ll be ready Sunday evening then. Do you have a phone? Is there any way for me to contact you?” Gundham blushed and lifted his scarf over his nose. “I do not have a cellular device,” he spoke, “however I do have electronic mail.”
You smiled at the absolute ridiculousness of this man, and wrote down your email for him. You told him to email you any time, and that you would respond as soon as possible. As soon as he left, you scrambled to your phone to turn on email notifications. You definitely didn’t want to miss anything from this guy.
A few days later, you receive an email from what you can only assume is Gundham Tanaka. Based on the outlandish vocabulary, you could never possibly think it to be a normal person. You smiled as you read the email.
Noble Y/N L/N,
Per my last visit to your establishment, we agreed upon taming a wild winged beast on the next day of rest. I look forward to our future endeavor, I shall send you my home address if you wish to proceed with the taming. My Four Dark Devas of Destruction are quite intoxicated with the idea of receiving a new legion member. Perhaps afterward, I could introduce you to my army over some herbal tea.
Regards,
Gundham Tanaka, Supreme Overlord of Ice and Future Ruler of All
You couldn’t help but smile as you read each sentence. The absolute ridiculousness of this man almost entranced you. The way he spoke was just so weird that it was almost charming. You replied with an excited tone, asking for his address. You even addressed him as his full title of Gundham Tanaka, Supreme Overlord of Ice and Future Ruler of All. You think he appreciated it based on his response.
Noble Y/N,
I shall bestow upon you the knowledge of my daily whereabouts - Attached to this electronic mail is my address. Please, use it wisely. I expect your company soon - the untamed beasts in the deep forest seem to be quite active. Perhaps they also yearn for your company during these times.
Best Regards,
Gundham Tanaka, Supreme Overlord of Ice and Future Ruler of All