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It’s their first Christmas as a family of four. Buck’s been looking forward to all the traditions, but it’s actually Christopher that brings one up, something he’s not actually thought about.
Eddie’s put Felicity to bed, finally, after she got super excited about all the decorations, the tree, the pillows, the ornaments that Eddie got out. Hence why Buck left him to do bedtime, he’d caused the excitement after all. He’d not argued, just scooped their daughter up and kissed Buck on the cheek as he bribed her into bedtime. Christopher queues up a movie and Buck makes mugs of hot chocolate using the spoons he’d found earlier that week with marshmallows and a splash of brandy for himself and Eddie. The two of them snuggle onto the sofa whilst Christopher grabs the chair, his crutches propped against the arm as he makes himself comfortable. Buck pulls the blanket around Eddie and himself and he thinks it’s just going to be a typical Diaz-Buckley movie, albeit a Christmas one obviously.
But half way through, Christopher pipes up, “can we take Flissy to meet Santa, Dads?” and Buck almost spits out his mouthful of hot chocolate because how can they have not even considered that yet? Sure, she’s only eighteen months, but meeting Santa should be a ritual, even if the elder kid doesn’t believe in him anymore and the younger one is probably slightly too young to know what’s going on.
“You’ll have to be part of the secret,” Eddie warns him and Christopher rolls his eyes with the ferocity of teenagers.
“Of course, Dad,” he says. “I know that, obviously. I don’t want to make you cry again when Flissy realises that Santa isn’t real for at least a few more years.”
There’s a lot to unpick right now, but Buck can’t get over the last thing just said. “What?” he asks, leaning forward to peer at Eddie’s face, who is suddenly absorbed in the tv again. “You cried when Christopher realised the truth about Santa?”
“No,” Eddie says at the exact same time that Chris blurts out
“Yeah, like for days!”
“Why don’t I know this story?” Buck demands.
“It happened three years ago,” Eddie murmurs and Buck remembers that year, when Eddie had just been shot, and he’d been with Taylor and realises why he doesn’t know and why Eddie is still not looking at him. He pulls him closer and kisses his forehead, feeling as Eddie relaxes against him.
Christopher, however, isn’t shy about sharing the story. “Denny and Harry had told me the year before but I still wasn’t sure. So when dad asked me to write a Christmas list I had a plan.”
“He told me he was just going to think the list,” Eddie adds as he burrows into Buck’s shirt.
“Yeah, because then I’d know if Santa was real because he’d know what I thought about instead of writing it down,” Christopher explains and Buck wants to laugh at the sheer sassiness of their son, but he can’t because of how Eddie is still clutching him like it’s a lifeline.
“What happened?” Buck asks, allowing Eddie to settle into his chest.
“I had some cool presents,” Christopher allows, but he grins at his Dad and Buck’s sure he’s missing something, somewhere along the line.
Later on, when Christopher has gone into his room to talk to his friends, he tilts Eddie’s face up and queries the story. Eddie flushes and eventually tells him, “he said he’d wished that I’d be happy, with you, on Christmas, and when that didn’t happen he realised Santa wasn’t real. That, and the alpaca for the garden didn’t show up because it wasn’t on the list of must have presents I’d found on the internet and I’d not even considered something so stupid. I think he got that from the tales of the escaped zoo animals you told him.”
Buck does laugh then, smacking kisses to Eddie’s cheeks, so enamoured with the story. “I’m sorry I missed it, I may have spotted the alpaca,” he jokes and Eddie frowns at him even if he knows it’s just an act.
“But Flissy is too young to know and taking her to see Santa will be one of our traditions,” he carries on. “If you want to, that is.”
“It was always the nicest thing about Christmas, seeing the magic through Chris’ eyes,” Eddie admits. “You’d like it too, right, baby?”
Buck swallows hard, tries to hide his eyes but he knows Eddie knows him too well. “I never got the chance when I was young,” he admits. “My parents never cared to take me to visit Santa and I worked out he wasn’t real when I was too young really. My Christmas’ were shitty until I made my own celebrations. But I want Flissy to have the experiences I didn’t. Do you know what I mean? And Christopher, her big brother, wanting to do it with her? It makes me think of Maddie and everything she’d try to do to make my Christmas as special as she could, even though she was only a kid herself really. So yeah, I’d love for us to take Flissy to see Santa, even if she’s probably too young.”
Eddie cups his cheek, until Buck looks up at him and then he kisses him softly. “There’s nothing I’d like to do more with my family.”
They make sure they have a day off at the weekend and Buck books the Santa visit to the same place as they’d always taken Christopher. He has so many fond memories already, particularly of the year an elf told him that he had an adorable son, well before Christopher was actually his. And this year, he’s back, with a gold band on his finger, a matching one on his husband's hand and two beautiful children. Christopher is currently holding Felicity’s hand, careful with his crutches but determined to walk with her as she toddles along the street, Buck and Eddie hovering close enough to help if one of them loses balance but far enough so the kids are being independent. He can hear Christopher talking to Felicity, pointing out the lights to her and she’s wide eyed in amazement. When Buck picks her up to save her little legs, she demands to sit on his shoulders so she can still see and then pulls off her gloves so she can slide her fingers under his chin. Eddie laughs as he kisses both of them, collecting the gloves to keep them safe. It still makes Buck’s heart full, to see how happy the four of them are. Christopher still chats, pointing things out and he can’t see Felicity now, but he can feel as she gazes around, moving to follow her big brother’s fingers.
They get into the queue and Christopher claims Felicity again, hugging her close as they get towards the front. “Me and Flissy are going in,” he says, firmly. “You can wait over there, Dads.”
Felicity is happy to be left with her brother, her eyes fixed on him adoringly as they get taken in to see Santa. Buck sits next to Eddie in front of the fountain so he can watch them, feeling his eyes fill up as Eddie squeezes his knee, his warmth a balm in the cold air. In the hut, Christopher is speaking to Santa, then he stands back as Felicity gets put onto his knee and it’s so sweet and lovely.
“He’s a great big brother,” he whispers to Eddie and he’s not ashamed at how his voice breaks.
“He is,” Eddie agrees and his voice sounds thick too.
When Christopher and Felicity rejoin them and she holds her arms out for Eddie this time, he swings her up to hide his face, but Christopher gives them both a pointed look.
“Have you two been crying?” he asks, sounding resigned already to the embarrassment and Buck laughs to hide the tear tracks and ruffles Christopher’s hair instead. It’s a sign they’re out as a family having fun because Christopher allows him, only ducking away to hear Felicity cry out with laughter, loud and perfect in the air.
“Just thinking how wonderful this is,” Buck admits when they’re walking, him next to Christopher, watching as his husband looks after their daughter. “And how incredible you are.”
Christopher hums a little. “Hey, Pops, I know I don’t believe in Santa, but I still made a wish for Christmas. You want to know what it is?”
“Only if you want to tell me.”
“I wished that you’re as happy as you’ve made me and Dad and Flissy. That we have so many more years like this, the four of us. And that every single Christmas is wonderful. And you know what? I think this will always come true. Maybe there’s still magic in Christmas, even if I’m too old? Flissy is going to love going through everything I had with you and Dad and I can’t wait to show her everything, you know.”
Buck’s choked up again and stops to hide his tears and kiss Christopher’s curly hair. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Eddie pause, watching the two of them carefully and he sends him the sweetest smile he can muster. Standing there, he’s the happiest he thinks he’s ever been. He has a husband who he knows adores him and isn’t scared to show it. He has two beautiful kids, one who is growing up to be the most incredible young man and the other the most adorablest little girl he thinks he’s ever met. It’s something he used to think he’d never have or never deserved and now it’s everyday, not just Christmas.
“Are you ok, pops?” Christopher asks eventually and Buck wipes his eyes.
“Yeah, I’m just thinking how lucky we all are.”
Christopher looks over to his dad too, smiling as Felicity holds her arms out for her brother. “Yeah, we are,” he agrees. “And I love you, Pops, tears and embarrassment and all.”