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He was infected. His pupils were blown white, and blood caked his teeth and fingers, and he had tried to bite Sae Bom. Sae Bom. Sae Bom nearly fucking died.
Yi Hyun still stood frozen by the door as shock and adrenaline coursed through his veins. It had been more than five minutes since they arrived at the refuge of their apartment unit, Seo Yoon opening the bedroom door to greet them and Sae Bom promptly slamming it shut before the child could see their horrific state, instead cheerily calling out, “Yes dear, we’re back but we have to wash up! Hyun-ah and I need some alone time.”
Yi Hyun made out the quiver in her voice, but it sounded miles away, submerged under the haze of a false reality. What was real was Jung Guk, once a detective who had given him a chance all those years ago, who slept on the sofa a few feet away last night, now pinning down a struggling Sae Bom to the marble floor and clawing at her mercilessly. Yi Hyun had swung his bat without hesitation and delivered a swift blow to Jung Guk’s side – but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough…
As Yi Hyun watched the next moments unfold in front of his eyes again, he felt Sae Bom’s grip on his now shaking hands. “Hey, Yi Hyun-ah.” Nothing. A hand shaking his shoulder. “Yi Hyun.” A hand on his cheek, the voice more insistent, “Yi Hyun, look at me.”
He blinked.
“Let’s go clean up,” she sighed. He slowly nodded in response.
Sae Bom held one of his hands and quietly led him to their bathroom, her careful steps butterfly light. If she were to be completely honest, she might have admitted that what she witnessed had scared her absolutely shitless. Should she mourn the loss of a friend or celebrate the victory of still being alive? Mostly though, she felt for Yi Hyun. Their line of work is already complex and unforgiving, and there’s hardly any room for debating codes of ethics let alone personal attachments. There’s no space for humanity, though they tried. She rubbed a slow circle on the back of his hand with her thumb, hoping he understood, and gently pushed the bathroom door open. Yi Hyun’s grip on her fingers tightened.
Sae Bom gave Yi Hyun’s hand a final squeeze and meant to let go, but when he made no move to do the same, her questioning gaze drifted to his other hand balled into a fist, knuckles white, and his thumb itching fiercely into his other fingers. His eyes were pointed toward the mirror but seemed to pierce right through their haggard reflection to another time, another world. She pursed her lips and silently pried apart his restless fingers, drawing them to the sink. Turning on the faucet with a small click, she led Yi Hyun’s bloodied hands under the water and covered them with her own. Huh, she looked at their scarlet skin. We match. She rubbed between their fingers. I wonder if the priest made it out. Around their palms. His hands are pretty. Under every nail. Is there any rice cake left in the fridge? Oh god, Jung Guk’s wife made them, is he…
The sound of running water grew in Yi Hyun’s ears until he looked down at their stained skin moving together. Realization slowly dawned on him. This is blood. It could be Jung Guk’s infected blood. He noticed Sae Bom’s hand and broke out of his stupor with a sharp gasp. He yanked her wrist in front of his face to examine it closer.
“Hyun-ah, what -“
“Sae Bom, you have to be more careful.”
“What do you m -“
His voice grew louder as he shoved her hand back under the cool water.
“Why are you like this, Bom-ah, always rushing headfirst into danger,”
“Hyun, wait a minute -“
“… I’m tired of worrying,” he rummaged through the cabinet looking for antiseptic.
“Yi Hyun -“
“… so stupid -“
“Hyun-ah!”
He pulled her hand up. “Your damn cut Sae Bom-ah! It split open again!”
Stunned, she turned toward her arm and sure enough, the skin growing over the scratch from her first encounter with the infected Rookie had torn apart, revealing a strip of raw flesh a little over an inch long with fresh blood caught in its ridges. She looked back at Yi Hyun, a deep frown etched across his brows and lips. As the implications of his discovery swirled around Sae Bom’s mind, she couldn’t help but let out a snort. “Well would you look at that.” I could be lucky twice, right?
Yi Hyun would have rolled his eyes at her antics if not for the very real possibility that Sae Bom could become a feral blood sucking cannibal in a matter of days. After all, her dry humor and complete cool in any situation were two of the many charms that he had fallen for all those years ago. Here they were a decade later, married and sharing a home, a little girl sleeping in their bedroom and cans of beer waiting to be shared in the fridge – alas, they were also trapped in a sky rise building fighting hordes of murderous victims of a drug-induced viral pandemic. Fuck.
Yi Hyun let go of Sae Bom and instead braced himself against the sink. His chin fell to his chest as he tried to slow his breath. He very nearly let Sae Bom be killed right in front of him when he hesitated to swing his bat into Jung Kook’s skull. A cop should never hesitate but I did. A strangled noise escaped him. But then I didn’t think twice, Sae Bom was in danger... I might have murdered my friend to keep her safe, but I still failed. He couldn’t help the angry sob that bubbled up as he dropped to his elbows. I failed and she might die. What if she ends up frozen in the back of an industrial truck or loses her mind and gets shot? It’s all my fault.
Sae Bom quickly stepped toward him and tried to rub Yi Hyun’s back but he flinched away. This isn’t like him. Her brows knit together as she tried one more time to approach him. “Yi Hyun-ah. Talk to me.” He shook his head and screwed his eyes shut. “Hyun-ah, you’re okay. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Okay? How could I be okay, I almost let you die! I can’t lose you. The thought made his knees buckle and he crumpled to the floor. Sae Bom shot down to grab his shoulders, her eyes open wide, but Yi Hyun thoughts kept racing. My one job is to protect you and I failed. How can you stand to look at me? He whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Though perplexed by his words, she nodded once carefully, “Hold on, I’m bringing you water.” She began to stand up, but he caught her elbow.
“Don’t leave.” It’s selfish but he couldn’t help it. I don’t know how to be without you. I need you. I… “You’re my lifesaver, remember?”
Sae Bom chuckled and looked around, preparing a wet towel from beside the sink before sitting down on her heels properly. “That’s right.” Now kneeling in front of Yi Hyun, who was watching her intently, she slowly reached up and started to wipe the grime off his cheeks. He let out a shaky breath and his eyelids fluttered shut for a brief moment. With her voice as gentle as her hands, she murmured, “You know, you were the one to save me today.”
At that, Yi Hyun gaze shot up. “You wouldn’t have been in that position if I noticed someone infected was behind me.” He looked at the gash facing him on her wrist. “I put you in danger.”
“I’m fine and I’d do it again,” she retorted.
Yi Hyun huffed in exasperation. “Sae Bom-ah, how can you say that?” His voice wavered slightly as he reached to run his thumb slowly beside the source of his fears, careful not to disturb the already inflamed edges of the cut. “Aren’t you worried at all?”
Sae Bom seemed to consider this for a moment before speaking. “I want you to make a bed for me in the extra room and cuff me there. If I’m actually infected, take Seo Yoon to stay with the writer and her brother, don’t forget to pack some of the rice cake she likes and her stuffed animal, and make sure I can’t get out until that asshole Han Tae Seok either cures me or puts me in a freezer.”
Yi Hyun scowled in protest but she cut him off. “I’m being serious. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I don’t want you to give up on me either.”
He drank in the resolve written across Sae Bom’s face, wondering how she could always be this radiant. “Never,” he whispered. Sae Bom made a small, satisfied hum and resumed with her towel while his finger ghosted across her temple, pushing a fallen strand of hair out of her line of sight. A minute passed until Yi Hyun gulped and started to speak. “After today,” he paused and found her eyes. “After today… I don’t think I could handle it if something happens to you. I really don’t.”
His sincerity nearly caught her off guard, his eyes beginning to glisten, but she held his gaze and waited for him to continue.
“I was truly frightened today,” he confessed. Sae Bom put a reassuring hand on his knee and drew a little closer, listening intently. “And. And Jung Guk…” he swallowed. It was obvious Yi Hyun thoughts were about to spiral again, though he was trying to fight it. She knew that once he went there, it was hard to get him out, and this heavy conversation could be had another time, when they were both more level-headed and less caked with blood. After some sleep and maybe a beer.
So Sae Bom spoke up instead. “Yi Hyun-ah, you’re my family, you know that, right?” He blinked and nodded, a small smile rising to just beneath the surface, but Sae Bom wanted more. She peeled off her dirty jacket, tossing it behind her, and reached for the zip under Yi Hyun’s chin. “In fact, there’s a paper somewhere with our signatures saying that we want to have babies together one day.”
Yi Hyun’s gaze flickered to her hand sliding the zipper pull down his chest and back up to her as he asked, “Are you… following through right now?” It earned him a smack on the arm before she pushed the now open jacket off his shoulders.
“No dummy, I’m taking care of you. I’m cleaning you up like you’re the baby, that’s what families do.”
The strange mix of amusement and wonder pooling in Yi Hyun’s eyes were too much for Sae Bom to handle so she gathered him up in her arms and pulled his head to the crook of her neck. Trying not to notice his slow breath drifting across her collarbone or his fingers curling on the tile floor near her hip, she stroked his back like he had once seen his mother do and kept her other hand resting in his hair in what she hoped was a comforting manner. “Okay maybe I’m not an expert on what families do,” she chuckled, “but I’m here for you,” Just like you always are for me. How could she explain to him the way her heart lept out of her chest when she caught Jung Guk inches away from biting Yi Hyun or how she screamed when Yi Hyun tackled Jung Guk off of her? She never screams, just reacts and survives, but in that moment, she could have lost him, and her entire world would have shattered.
There’s no denying that Yi Hyun is important to her. Sae Bom had seen Han Tae Seok ruthlessly murder infected people at the slightest hint of danger and detested his lack of remorse every time; but to keep Yi Hyun safe, she realized, she wouldn’t think twice to do the same. It’s a pretty gruesome thought to have while trying to console someone but it all finally clicked in a monumental yet unsurprising epiphany. Yi Hyun-ah, I couldn’t have handled any of this if it wasn’t for you, and there’s nowhere I’d rather be than right by your side. You are the person I will do anything to protect, the most important person in my universe. And today, not only did you risk your own life, but you made an impossible choice for me, maybe you feel the same way as I do.
Yi Hyun still hadn’t moved so Sae Bom pulled him closer, resting her cheek on his temple, and whispered into his ear.
“Lean on me.”
That was all it took for Yi Hyun to finally sink into Sae Bom, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist and pulling her against him, a hand grasping her shoulder, his chest dipping with a sigh. She was safe and they had each-other, nothing else mattered, nothing at all. As he closed his eyes, the outside world faded away until it was just the two of them sheltered together in a refuge of tangled limbs and healing hearts. For a few minutes, it was peaceful.
They could have stayed there breathing together on the bathroom floor for the rest of eternity really, if not for the lights cutting out. Right, the power. Despite the sudden darkness, neither of them had moved, but the reality of their circumstances slowly crept in. Sae Bom eased her iron grip, letting her arms slip slightly, reluctant to fully let go. She felt Yi Hyun carefully lift his head and turn to press his nose into the side of her face (was that his mouth that just brushed near her jaw?) before pulling away.
Sae Bom couldn’t help herself. Her arms flew back up and around Yi Hyun’s neck, stopping him from moving any further back. His hands landed on her waist.
“Yi Hyun-ah,” her voice a little hoarse from staying silent for so long.
He gave a low hum in response.
“I might be infected.”
He nodded gently.
“I don’t want to have any regrets.”
“I know.”
“I love you,” she swallowed.
“I know.”
“Yi Hyun-ah,” she called after a moment. “Take me to bed.”
Time stood still and he didn’t dare to move.
“Take me to bed,” she repeated.
He dropped his forehead onto hers softly, as if in a daydream just moments away from ending. Sae Bom put an encouraging hand under his jaw upon seeing his hesitation. She drew back just enough to find his eyes in the dark saying, “I want you, and I think you want me, too. Let’s not waste any more time.”
Yi Hyun considered her carefully for a moment, eyes attentive and mouth parted, before cupping her cheeks with his large, warm hands. Quietly, he tilted her chin down and pressed his lips against her forehead, lingering there briefly before trailing down the bridge of her nose and placing a delicate kiss on its end. Sae Bom sighed, breathless. Yi Hyun followed her cheek up to kiss her eyelid, then turned her head slightly to kiss the other side. When he finally pulled back, Sae Bom slowly glanced up and the look written across his face was all she needed to know. This is right, this is how it was always meant to be.
Yi Hyun brought his hands to her elbows and gently lifted her up to stand with him, guiding her out into the pale moonlight spilling through their balcony until they were standing flush against each other, their noses touching.
This time, he murmured, “I love you.”
“I know,” she smiled, and tiptoed up to bring her mouth to meet his.