Chapter Text
It was a beautiful spring day when Razor confessed for the first time.
The sun’s warmth radiated through the air in lazy waves while a soft breeze played with the leaves it carried through the streets and alleyways of the City of Freedom. Mondstadt’s atmosphere vibrated with the chatter of its citizens as they went about their lives, chatting away about the latest gossip while dining at Good Hunter’s and buying produce at Mondstadt General Groceries. Softly, the murmur of life echoed in the main square – the laughter bouncing off the stone walls of the surrounding houses.
Passing the main gates guarded by a pair of sentries, an ash-haired boy shot a wide smile and a greeting to the patrolling knight named Miles, before ascending the small flight of stairs and reaching the front desk of the Adventurer’s Guild. A grin decorating his features, the boy addressed the brunette standing behind the reception; his emerald eyes glittering with joy as he neared her.
“Hey there Katheryne! How’ve you been?”
Turning her head toward the youth, the receptionist responded, “Ad astra abyssosque! All tasks and commission have been given out and dutifully completed by Mondstadt’s adventurers, prompting most to spend the rest of the day free of any other guild-related obligations.”
Pausing slightly, Katheryne’s eyebrows twitched quizzically as she surveyed the boy before her as though his sudden appearance puzzled her greatly.
As quickly as confusion polluted her orbs, so too did it vanish as she blinked once then twice before continuing, “Please pardon my curiosity Bennett, but I do not remember seeing you this morning when commissions were handed out...”
Her monotone voice trailed off, disappearing within the chorus of life filling the air around the pair.
“Oh yeah!” the boy’s eyes widened before his gaze shifted downwards toward his feet, “About that… I was completing a commission given to me yesterday – the one with those recently discovered ruins – and it was going great! The entrance was partially demolished so it was easy to get in and the mechanisms within were already disabled – I really thought Celestia must’ve gotten rid of my bad luck for the day!”
Happiness twinkling in his leaf-green orbs like stars in the night’s sky, Bennett reminisced on his adventure with a toothy smile painted on his lips.
This joy was extinguished suddenly, as hesitation flashed on his expression; a pregnant pause infecting the atmosphere between the duo as the grey-haired boy struggled to find a way to continue his retelling. Emerald pools glued to the floor; a deep sigh left Bennet as he hunched over – embarrassment igniting within the youth.
“Well…” the Mondstadter stammered as words tumbled past his lips, “the entrance got blocked because of an earth tremor – which also caused the mechanisms to close all doors within the ruins – so I got stuck… overnight.”
Scratching the back of his head, the boy once again fell silent, seemingly oblivious to the vibrant choir of voices around him due to the stairs leading from the main gates to the plaza bursting with lively chatter and laughter, as he relived the events of the past twenty-four hours. Shame and awkwardness emanated from Bennett like warmth from a fireplace during the dead of winter, stifling the boy in a crushing hug and choking any remaining confidence out of him.
Determined to rescue the green-eyed adventurer from the depths of his despair, Katheryne hummed to herself, stating, “All that matters is that you are safe now.”
A question formulated itself in her mind as she watched the boy’s expression light up as brightly as the oil lamps lining Mondstadt’s cobblestone streets at night.
“Are you injured?”
Stuttering, the young Mondstadter reassured the receptionist he returned unharmed to the City of Freedom, “No – I’m perfectly fine! No worries.”
However, Katheryne’s pale eyes darted back and forth over the boy’s figure, scrutinizing each cut and scar for any sign of a new mark littering Bennett’s almond skin, causing the boy to turn red despite his best efforts to keep calm.
Finally, once she was satisfied the grey-haired boy sustained no major injuries during his travels, the brunette exhaled slowly and shook her head in reluctant relief, before bending down and rummaging through the cupboards below the front desk. Bennett watched as Katheryne’s eyes narrowed with determination – her search for this mysterious object causing the adventurer to lean forward in hope of catching sight of it as well. Knocks and light thumps rang out through the distance between the pair as the receptionist foraged efficiently and systematically in the wooden cabinets. With a content hum, the receptionist straightened her back before pushing the item she found toward the young Mondstadter; her lips turning upwards into a small, barely visible smile.
A roll of adhesive bandages.
Katheryne was looking for the adhesive bandages the young Deaconess of the Favonius Cathedral gave Bennett once his unlucky nature became more prominent. Over the years, the young adventurer became a frequent visitor at the Cathedral; whenever he suffered severe injuries such as fractures and excessive blood loss, the boy sought out treatment from Deaconess Barbara. Each and every time, the young girl healed his wounds, alleviating his pain and rebuilding his broken soul bit by bit with outmost care.
It was during one of these rendezvous that the young deaconess extended a white roll of bandages to the boy, demanding he take it with him on his adventures in order to stay safe.
Eyeing the item, warmth spread through the boy as his fingers tingled with happiness – even after reassuring her he was fine, the brunette receptionist still insisted he bandaged any cuts which broke his skin. Although Bennet was used to people fussing over him thanks to his dads, he was also familiar with the rejection that came with his tendency to always suffer from some form of misfortune.
Seeing his hesitation and mistaking it for shyness, Katheryne’s hand gently nudged the white roll toward Bennett in encouragement, who thanked her softly, and with slow movements – which betrayed his exhaustion – began wrapping his wounds methodically. Sticking the bandages onto his skin, the white material shone like medals pinned to his chest; his heart swelling at the sight of the receptionist’s obvious concern.
The sound of running alerted the ash-haired Mondstadter to a figure barrelling at him; their footsteps against the cobbled street echoing in the boy’s ears. Turning towards the source of the commotion, the adventurer’s forest eyes focused on the blurry splashes of olive green, orange and dark brown running in his direction. With each step forward, the outline sharpened as Bennett’s eyes focused entirely on the figure. A small gasp escaped him as the silhouette morphed into the familiar shape of the wolf boy; an increasingly widening grin painted on his lips and excitement lighting his eyes ablaze.
Cries of his name further confirmed the youth was not falling victim to hallucinations conjured up by his sleep-deprived mind.
Slowing down before the wooden front desk of the Adventurer’s Guild, the wolf boy bounced on his spot opposite the emerald-eyed Mondstadter, whose state of bemusement was evidenced by his furrowed eyebrows and tilted head, and the equally puzzled receptionist. The Wolvendom resident practically radiated with such intense jubilation that it rivalled that of the midday’s sun as he stood before Bennett; his chest rising and falling rapidly due to sprinting but a moment before. Judging from his fidgeting state, the boy was struggling to contain the emotion crackling within him like lightning – each shuffle coaxing soft chiming noises from the necklace sat round his neck. His already spiky hair now stood chaotically on edge, having been combed by the breeze as Razor sped through the cobblestone streets of the City of Freedom in search of the adventurer now standing before him. Bennett’s eyes trailed over the wolf boy’s features, paying close attention to the way small wrinkles appeared at the corner of his eyes as his mouth moved diagonally up, further enlarging his smile as Razor settled into his position opposite the Mondstadter.
Effortlessly, the ruby gems decorating the boy’s features shone with zeal, capturing Bennett’s attention and hypnotising him. The fiery nature of is crimson eyes ignited when a stray ray of sunlight wormed its way past the roofs of houses sheltering the pair; the element the young adventurer wielded thanks to his Vision paling in comparison to the inferno swirling in the wolf boy’s eyes when the sunbeam caressed it.
Before the ash-haired Mondstadter was fully submerged in the red pools – blissfully unaware of his own drowning – he shook his head in order to clear his mind and snap out of his thoughts, regaining his composure.
“Razor, what happened?” Bennett inquired soothingly, making sure to keep his tone gentle as though afraid anything louder than a whisper would send the wolf boy sprinting in circles round the city or flying upward to Celestia due to an influx of energy.
Razor responded with an animated smile nestled on his features, continuing to bounce on the spot – ignoring the raised eyebrows and low whispers spreading through the spring air like poison.
“Bennett! I love you!”
Face contorting at the foreign nature of the words he uttered and the difficulty with which he pronounced them, the Wolvendom inhabitant tested the syllables which rang through the distance between the duo with a noticeable lack of hesitation - determination and certainty electrifying his eyes with a brilliant glow.
Time slowed as the buzzing of life around the adventurer muted and blurred into shades of browns, blacks and greys; Mondstadters climbing and descending the main stairs mutating into hazy shapes. The calls of vendors attempting to attract customers at the main squares morphing into haunting howls akin to those of a wounded animal. Once lively, the breeze, which once ruffled the grass-eyed boy’s ashy hair, was now stagnant – the stillness suffocating the youth. Even the sun’s warmth dissipated like a dying ember; his scarred skin turning cold and clammy in the absence of the sun’s comforting hold.
Only Razor’s words remained clear to the Mondstadter, as they echoed in his ears, reaching the pits of his mind and ricocheting off the wall like a building crescendo. His breath quickened, Bennet mulled over his friend’s words – dissecting and analysing each sound with dedication rivalling that of a holy man studying sacred scriptures.
Surely, he had heard the wolf boy wrong. Razor didn’t know what love meant – at least not the human definition of it. He didn’t understand the meaning behind the phrase ‘I love you’… right?
After all, how could he?
The young teen who held the title of Legend of Wolvendom was really just a boy – one raised by the wolves of Wolvendom, far away from human civilization, consequently untouched by the many nuances which come with living surrounded by the other humans. To Razor, prowling the forest in search of dinner came as naturally as doves migrating south for the winter and salmon swimming upstream.
Of course, the resident of Wolvendom knew the feeling of love: he was taken in by the wolf pack as an infant, who became his family after Razor was abandoned by his parents. The wolves taught him how to survive in the cruel world that surrounds the walls of the City of Freedom, how to effectively track down his prey and how to protect himself against any possible dangers he encounters. They had raised Razor to be in tune with his animal instincts, treating the boy as one of their own and with each day, the bond between the wolf pack and the human boy deepened.
Snapping from his thoughts, Bennett shook his head from side to side, concentrating on the figure opposite him. Forest green meeting a pair of rubies, the young adventurer hyper fixated on Razor’s each movement: analysing the grin still dancing on his lips; scrutinising his each breath; studying the waves of joy glimmering in the crimson pools adorning the wolf boy’s features.
There was no hint of deception or deceit infecting the aura emanating from Razor, causing a realisation to worm its way into Bennett’s racing mind, twisting and turning like a snake through the labyrinths of his subconsciousness. The thought infected his mind with frightening speed as his lungs screamed for more and more air and his palms grew damp.
Razor meant every word he said. Every sound he produced, every syllable he uttered he said with confidence because he believed them to be true.
Desperately, the ash-haired adventurer pulled himself from his spiralling thoughts as they gave birth to embers of fear and anxiety; his heart beating against his ribcage, which cracked and groaned under the pressure like old oak trees under a tempest’s winds.
Finally winning momentarily against the storm raging within his mind, Bennett found his voice and unsteadily protested, “You – you don’t mean that! You shouldn’t go around sayin’ that so loudly! Besides, how’d you know that phrase anyways?”
His words cracked under the weight of Razor’s gaze – his smile dropped at the adventurer’s panicked and hurried tone; the flames of enthusiasm within his orbs dying to pitiful cinders.
Eyes cast downward, the wolf boy muttered a response, “Lisa taught me today. She said it’s the warm… feeling,” he paused, nose scrunching in concentration while he searched for the right words, “inside when lupical is near.”
Turning to face Bennett, Razor made eye contact with the boy before resuming, “You are my lupical. I love you.”
There was that phrase again: I love you. It was so personal, so raw, so intimate.
It vibrated in the cinder-haired adventurer’s ears, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand as the phrase lulled him into a haze.
Like the sunbeams playing on the surface of the sea, Razor’s eyes were filled with twinkling lights, shining brightly with the saccharine aura of love and inviting him to wade deeper into the water’s depths. Within Bennett’s foggy mind, he could feel himself drifting further and further from the shore – from cautious safety that came with rational thought – as the crimson orbs serenaded him like sirens in stories of old. Instinctively, the adventurer trudged onwards; the water level reaching his throat, pulling him into a comforting embrace, as his feet lost contact with the sea floor – consequently abandoning his rationale and following the mesmerising pull of the rubies opposite him as desperately as a shipwrecked sailor would pursue the golden glow of a lighthouse’s guiding light.
Bennett felt his throat tighten and the wind get knocked out of him like he had fallen from one of Mondstadt’s many cliffs, tumbling through the air like a new-born chick from its nest. His lips dried like the deserts of Sumeru, cracking painfully, and he could feel himself choking on the stale air enveloping his being.
It was a foreign feeling - the one blooming in his chest. He loved and was loved before but this… this was different.
Like flames crackling in a hearth in the middle of winter while a snowstorm raged outside a cabin’s walls, it warmed him, causing his cheeks to acquire a red tint. The feeling pulsated in the beating organ located in his chest, keeping him barely tethered to reality. But the young adventurer was no fool: he knew the danger fire possessed; its ability to transform into an inferno given enough fuel and destroy everything in its path, leaving only ashes behind. Bennett was well aware of the blaze burning within him with increasing vigour – ignited by Razor’s confession – and he feared the mixture of uncertainty and excitement flickering in his heart.
Gazing back at the wolf boy, the young Mondstadter scoured his eyes in a futile attempt to convince himself this was all a misunderstanding, an error – one the pair could joke about later.
But there was no misunderstanding, no error the duo could laugh about at a later date.
Razor loved him.
Now painfully aware of this truth, Bennett cleared his throat, before muttering a barely coherent excuse and sidestepping past his companion. Silently, he prayed to Celestia above that neither Razor nor the brunette receptionist – who followed the interaction between the duo with mild interest flickering in her pale orbs - had noticed his reddening expression. The wolf boy’s expression morphed into that of confusion as he hurriedly waved a small, stilted goodbye, but the green-eyed Mondstadter was long gone.
Sprinting past the guards standing on either side of the imposing main gates and ignoring the puzzled expressions of Mondstadters around him at the sight of his barrelling figure, Bennett’s heartbeat raced his whirling thoughts; the smoke and ash from the heat raging within the beating organ rising into his lungs and scratching hungrily at his throat, suffocating him in layers of soot.
He was drowning amidst the flames howling beneath his skin; the red tint which held his cheeks hostage spreading like a stain to the tips of his ears. Sinking deeper and deeper with each passing moment spent in the wolf boy’s presence, the lingering feelings, which twisted like serpents in the maze that was his mind, set his being ablaze – the fire climbing so high that Bennett began to lose all hope of extinguishing it any time soon.
The young adventurer had to get away: from the still, windless air hanging over the city like an omen; from the prying eyes and hushed tones of the city’s gossiping residents; from Razor and his wide smile and brilliant crimson eyes, which instigated the hellfire scorching his insides.
But most of all, he had to get away to calm the molten lava coursing in his veins at the sight of that damned Wolvendom guy.