Work Text:
I. Snowed In.
“You’re what?”
“Snowed in,” Sirius sighs, holding the phone with one hand and pinching the bridge of his nose with the other. “My train was the last train in, and now none are coming in or going out. The snow storm created quite some chaos, and it doesn’t look like it’ll be melting anytime soon.”
“You’re stuck? During the busiest time of the year? How can you be stuck now?”
“Yes, how dare I create a snow storm?” Sirius says, rolling his eyes.
“Why are you even in Godric’s Hollow, of all places, in the first place?”
“We still need good photos for the Christmas Exhibit.”
“There’s a Christmas tree right here on the corner, couldn’t you have taken a photo of that?”
“I tried, but all the photos I took in the city lacked… something. And Godric’s Hollow is the most Christmassy place on earth. I figured if I can’t take a decent photo here…”
“You’re wasting way too much of your time, and more importantly, my time, on those photos of yours.”
“I do Advertising, it’s part of the job.”
“Advertising, and Sales. I don’t think you’ve made a single Sales Target this year.”
“Well, I can’t change the weather, so let’s just try and make the best of it. I’ll take and edit the photos while in Godric’s Hollow, and send them to my team at the office to put on the website for the promo, and then I’ll try to be back in time for the Christmas Exhibit.”
“Try to be? No, Sirius. You need to be. If you don’t perform at your top during the Christmas Exhibit, and make up for you lacking sales numbers, the CEO may decide you no longer have a job in the new year.”
And with that, the connection is broken.
“Yes, mother,” Sirius mutters under his breath. “I’d be devastated too if I can’t be with my family for Christmas.”
Sirius starts typing on his phone to search directions to the inn he’s staying at, as it’s quite a walk from the train station to the town, but the internet connection keeps getting lost.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yes, fine,” Sirius replies curtly, without looking up from his phone.
“The expression on your face doesn’t say so.”
Sirius looks up to kindly tell the stranger to mind his own business, but the words die in his throat as he sees the young man standing in front of him. The first thing he notices are his eyes. He has big, amber eyes, that look warm and friendly. He has golden, curly hair, cute freckles, and a curious smile on his face.
“Oh, no, don’t worry,” Sirius says. “That’s just my standard expression after talking to my mother.” He glances down at his phone, only to see another ‘error while loading the page’, and he curses.
“Troubles with you phone?”
Sirius sighs. “I’m trying to look up directions to my inn, but...”
“Internet’s not working properly?” The guy smiles. “Yeah, the connection around here’s not great, I’m afraid.”
“How do you ever find anything without your phone?” Sirius asks, exasperated.
The guy chuckles. “Why, this is Godric’s Hollow! You ask! People are actually friendly here. Where do you need to go?”
“Eh, the Deer ‘n Doe Inn?”
“Excellent! I’ve been meaning to drop by there today anyway. I’ll walk you.”
Sirius looks hesitant.
“Don’t worry. I won’t suddenly ask you for money or rob you and leave you in a dark alley. And not only because we don’t even have any dark alleys in Godric’s Hollow.”
“So, what business brings you to your town?” The guy asks as they walk down the hillside, towards the valley where Godric’s Hollow is situated.
“What? Can’t I just be a tourist?”
The guy looks Sirius up and down, who, with his polished shoes, classy slacks, expensive blouse, long, designer coat and cashmere scarf, looks nothing like the tourists in their plaid vests and knitted sweaters, and raises an eyebrow.
“Oh, alright,” Sirius says. “I’m here for work, to take photos.”
“You’re a photographer?”
“Nah,” Sirius says. “I do Advertising for the family business. The Black family empire is quite a big deal. We buy art and exclusive designer items, and sell them to rich clients. We have a huge Christmas Exhibit each year, and we need good photos with the right Christmas vibe to put on the website, to decorate the Exhibition Hall with, and, hopefully, to sell.”
The guy looks at him in shock. “You work during Christmas? Every year?”
Sirius laughs. “You sound like I just told you I kick puppies in my spare time! But yeah, the Holidays are the busiest time of the year, with the Christmas Exhibit as the biggest and most profitable event of the year. You can imagine my family is not best pleased I’m stuck here due to this snow storm, now of all times.”
“You do show dedication, coming all the way here just for some photos.”
“Yeah,” Sirius sighs. “I did try to take photos in the city, but they were bland, missing the right feel. So I came to the famous Christmas town of Godric’s Hollow to-”
“Rediscover the True Meaning of Christmas!” The guy finishes for him.
“No...” Sirius says slowly, looking over him, amused. “To quickly take a few decent photos and then travel back as soon as possible. Though that last part won’t be so easy anymore...”
They are now walking into the town.
“At least now you have some more time for photographing,” the guy says. “There’s so much to see here this time of the year! I mean, you just saw on the walk here how beautiful the scenery is.”
Sirius blinks. No. No, he didn’t. He turns his head and looks back at the path they just came from, leading down to the valley and the picturesque houses and twinkling lights of Godric’s Hollow, overlooking the pine trees growing on the sloping hills, all covered in a crisp layer of white snow. He hadn’t seen. And when had he stopped seeing such things?
They walk to the side of town, and there, a little way on yet another hill, lies an old-fashioned, but well kept building, with a broad porch, large windows and a wide balcony, garlands hanging from the railing, and lights decorating the rooftop.
“The Deer ‘n Doe Inn!” The guy says, turning to Sirius with a smile.
He walks up to the front door, so maybe it wasn’t just an excuse to walk with Sirius after all that he had wanted to visit the inn anyway. Sirius pushes the disappointment he feels at that away and follows the guy inside.
“Hello!” A young woman greets him with a bright smile. With her thick, dark red hair and captivating emerald green eyes, she’s very beautiful, even with the awful Christmas sweater she’s wearing, a knitted monstrosity depicting a doe wearing a Santa hat, the fabric glittering and the nose of the doe being a red, plush ball attached to the sweater. “Welcome! Did you manage to find it alright?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Sirius replies politely. “This gentleman was so kind to walk with me.”
The woman chuckles. “That’s no gentleman! That’s just Remus! And please, call me Lily.”
“He calls me a gentleman now,” the guy, Remus, grins. “ But before, he thought I was going to rob him!”
“Why are you city folk always so pessimistic?” A tall, young man with round glasses, a messy mop of dark hair and a crooked grin on his face strolls into the hall. He’s wearing a sweater similar to the woman’s, only his is depicting, unsurprisingly, a deer.
“When you’re in the city, it’s not pessimistic, but realistic,” Sirius replies.
The man laughs. “Fair enough, mate.” He extends his hand. “I’m James.”
“Sirius,” Sirius replies.
“Ah,” Lily says. “Sirius Black! You’re booked for one night, but I figured with the snow storm you might want to extend your stay?”
“If it doesn’t trouble you too much, that’ll be great, thank you ever so much.”
“No trouble at all!” Lily smiles, pressing a key in Sirius’ hand. “I’ve put you in The Owlery. Don’t worry,” she chuckles. “It’s not an actual Owlery, that’s just the name of the room.”
“Good,” Sirius chuckles as well. “If I were to sleep in an actual Owlery, I might have been forced to put in a complaint.”
Suddenly, he spots a small boy peeking around from behind James’ legs. He has the same green eyes as Lily, and the same messy hair as James.
Sirius crouches down. “Hello, and who do we have here?”
The boy proudly lifts his chin. “Welcome to DeerDoe Inn, sir. My name is Harry Potter.”
“My, my,” Sirius smiles. “We have a proper little innkeeper here! Hello, my name is Sirius. You know, I was put in The Owlery, but I have no idea where that is.” Sirius rubs his chin thoughtfully. “If only I had someone who could show me the way... I may even have a chocolate bar somewhere in my bag I’d give them as a reward.”
Harry’s eyes light up. “I know! I know! I’ll show you, sir Sirrus!” Harry rushes up the stairs.
Sirius turns to Remus. “Well, thank you.”
Remus nods. “Cheers, mate. Good luck with everything.”
“Sir Sirrus!” Harry yells from the top of the stairs.
Sirius grins. “I think that’s my cue.”
As soon as Sirius has disappeared up the stairs, Lily turns to Remus with a smirk. “So, you’re now guiding people from the station to the inn? Or is that only for the handsome ones?”
“Oh shut it,” Remus says. “A posh city boy is hardly my type.”
“Fuck. Damn this,” Sirius curses as he clicks through the photos on his camera.
“You know, that’s not the reaction people usually have when seeing our famed Christmas Square for the first time.”
Sirius turns around to find Remus standing behind him, bundled up in a coat, complete with mittens and hat.
“The lighting is all wrong,” Sirius sighs, turning back to the square and lifting the camera back up. He sees Remus step up beside him from the corner of his eye.
“Have you even looked at the square?”
“Of course,” Sirius mumbles absentmindedly. “I’ve been trying to take a decent picture of it for the last hour.”
“No.” Remus places a hand on his arm and gently pushes the camera down. “I mean really looked.”
Sirius blinks as he stares at the square, not understanding what Remus means. It’s the same square he’s been looking at the whole time! He sees the row of Christmas trees with the flickering lights that are impossible to capture on a photo, he sees the ice rink that reflects the light, making everything else on the photo look too dark, he sees the church that casts a shadow over the square which just looks odd when photographed. He’s about to ask Remus what on earth he’s talking about, when suddenly, he sees it. An elderly couple standing hand-in-hand listening to the choir on the steps of the church singing Christmas Carols, a woman wrapping her shivering dog in a warm blanket and scratching him behind his ear, a father teaching his young daughter how to skate, both of their faces bright with smiles. It’s not the overall picture that carries the feeling, it’s the small details.
Remus, who’s studying him closely, seems to read it from his face, and he smiles. “I thought so. Have a lovely evening, Sirius.”
Sirius is sitting in a small café with his laptop, glad that the place at least has decent Wi-Fi and that it’s not too crowded. Just him, a few other customers, and a friendly girl named Marlene working the counter. He’s going through his photos, but finding them still lacking. “Oh, fuck this.”
“It’s a good thing I know by now that’s your way of showing appreciation, otherwise I might have been insulted.”
Sirius looks up at Remus, who’s standing by his table. He’s wearing a knitted Christmas sweater similar to Lily and James’, only his has a wolf with a Santa hat on it.
Sirius arches an eyebrow. “Are you stalking me?”
“Well, I could’ve ignored you, but in my experience customers tend to consider that rude.”
“You work here?”
“I own this place.”
“Really?” For the first time, Sirius takes a proper look around the café. It has large windows with Christmas wreaths in front of them, cosy looking chairs and tables with Christmas arrangements placed in the middle, a large Christmas tree in the corner, a fire place with comfy looking chairs around it, and a glass display filled with all kinds of Christmas cookies next to the counter. “That’s amazing!”
Remus smiles proudly. “It is pretty amazing, isn’t it?”
“Why is it called Moony’s?” Sirius asks curiously.
Remus chuckles. “An old nickname. As my name is Remus Lupin, we used to make jokes that I turn into a wolf at the full moon.”
“That’s cute,” Sirius smiles. “And the place looks great.”
“The food’s pretty great too. If you would actually taste it instead of thoughtlessly shove it into your mouth while working on your laptop.” Remus nods towards the plate next to Sirius’ laptop, that has a half-eaten Christmas cookie on it.
“Ah, sorry,” Sirius says guilty. “It’s just... these photos again.”
Remus moves to stand behind him and peers over his shoulder at his computer screen. “Still no good?”
“No,” Sirius sights. “They just don’t do anything, they’re just... bland. There’s no emotion, no feeling, no...”
“Christmas Spirit?” Remus helpfully supplies.
Sirius rolls his eyes. “Is this all part of your secret agenda to force everyone to embrace the True Meaning of Christmas?”
Remus gasps. “How dare you! There’s nothing secret about my agenda to make people embrace the True Meaning of Christmas.”
Sirius lets out a laugh, and Remus sits down on the empty chair in front of him. “But I’m serious,”
“I thought I was?”
“You’re the expert, and I’m under no illusion that some small-town café owner knows better than you when it comes to photography,”
“I feel a ‘but’ coming up.”
“But I do know a thing or two about Christmas Spirit! And when I see you taking photos, you’re not actually looking. Well, I suppose you’re looking, but you’re not seeing. If you don’t put any emotion into taking your photos, how can you expect people to feel anything when seeing them?”
Sirius looks at him thoughtfully for a moment, then he nods, as if reaching a decision. He closes his laptop and leans forward towards Remus, resting his chin on his hand. “Alright, mister Lupin. You’ve convinced me. I’m going to give it a shot. Teach me the True Meaning of Christmas!”
Remus blinks, and then grins. “Sirius Black, you’ve come to the right place and the right man!”
II. The True Meaning of Christmas
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Remus’ eyes are sparkling with excitement.
“It’s a good tree,” Sirius agrees.
“I think it’s the biggest one we’ve had so far!”
“So, now they’re going to set it on fire?”
“What?” Remus whirls his head around to Sirius. “No! Why on earth would you say that?”
“You said it was a Christmas Tree Lightning!”
“The lights in the tree, Sirius!”
“Oh...”
“Don’t sound so disappointed!”
“This is the end. I’m going to die.”
“You’re being awfully dramatic.”
Sirius glares at Remus, not releasing his death grip on the railing. “How am I dramatic if I could literally fall and break my neck?”
Remus makes a few rounds, the bloody show-off. “It’s honestly not that difficult.”
“I’m sorry,” Sirius says. “But stand by my point that humans weren’t made to balance on two upturned knives on a frozen, slippery surface!”
Remus laughs. “For god’s sake, Sirius, it’s just ice skating!”
Sirius continues to glare.
“Do you want me to get you a chair?” Remus asks mockingly.
“Yes!”
“I was joking. Only children use a chair. You’ll look ridiculous.”
“I don’t care!”
Remus sighs. He places one hand on his hip and extends the other to Sirius. “Come on!”
“What?”
“Take my hand!”
“No way! I’ll drag us both down to the ice.”
“I’ve been skating since I was a child, I can handle it,” Remus insists.
Hesitantly, Sirius releases one hand from the railing and takes the hand Remus is offering. They make a few rounds around the rink, Sirius getting more and more steady.
“See?” Remus smiles. “You’re getting better already! I can almost let go of your hand.”
Sirius pales and grips Remus’ hand tighter. “Don’t you dare!”
“I think I really did just die in a gruesome skating accident,” Sirius says. “Because me being in heaven is the only explanation for this.” He holds up the red cup with the froth of whipped cream on top and stares at it in awe.
“Told you,” Remus says. “Madam Rosmerta’s Hot Chocolate, there’s nothing better.”
Sirius takes a sip and actually moans. “I swear, Remus, this is the best thing that’s ever touched my lips.”
Remus chuckles. “I don’t think your girlfriend will be happy to hear that.”
Sirius laughs. “Good thing I don’t have one of those, then. And I can tell you, none of my ex-boyfriends ever tasted this good. If they did, they wouldn’t be my exes,” he adds with a wink.
Remus shakes his head and takes a sip of his own hot chocolate, but he can’t help the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Come on!” Sirius holds out his hand for Remus.
“No way!” Remus says, shaking his head.
Remus may have gotten a little carried away buying chocolate from one of the stands on the Christmas market, and Sirius had helped him carry his new stock home, after which Remus had offered him a cup of coffee.
“I know you’re the expert,” Sirius says. “But I’m pretty sure that dancing around the living room to Christmas music is a definite ‘yes’ when it comes to finding the Christmas Spirit!”
“Well, I’m not stopping you.”
“Join me,” Sirius insists.
“I can’t dance!”
“I can’t skate, but you forced me out of my comfort zone, and you have a lot less chance of breaking your neck dancing.”
Remus still hesitates.
Sirius makes a flourishing bow and offers Remus his hand. “Sir, may I please have this dance?”
Remus sighs. “Just don’t laugh at me.”
Sirius does laugh, not at Remus though, with Remus. Both guys can’t stop laughing as Sirius twirls Remus around the living room to the sounds of ‘Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time’. Remus doesn’t even seem to care anymore he keeps tripping over his own, and occasionally Sirius’, feet. One trip sends him tumbling forward against Sirius’ chest. As Remus smiles up at him, Sirius suddenly becomes very aware of Remus’ hand in his own, and the other resting on his back, and Remus’ body pressed up against him. He almost trips himself, and Remus raises an eyebrow, looking as though he’s about to make some sassy remark, so Sirius shuts him up by suddenly spinning him around and dipping him. Remus throws his head back in laughter, and as Sirius gazes down at him, he thinks it’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen.
“One café latte,” Remus says, placing the mug in front of Sirius. “You know, I really would’ve taken you for the dark roast type of guy.”
Sirius winks at him as he takes a sip. “Don’t tell anyone my secret.”
“Wouldn’t dare. So, did you hear anything about your photos yet?”
“Yes! After I send the photos for the website, my mother responded that instead of completely a waste of time, at least I’m now predominantly a waste of time.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be!” Sirius says, surprised. “That’s a huge compliment coming from her! Like when I graduated college, and she said that if I’ll end up being a failure now, at least I’ll be a failure with a college degree.”
“How... lovely,” Remus says. “What about your father? Do you get on with him?”
“Wouldn’t really know, ” Sirius shrugs. “He’s the CEO of the company. If my brother or I want to talk to him, we need to book an appointment with his assistant three weeks in advance. But even then, he usually cancels when ‘something actually important’ comes up.”
Seeing Remus’ face, Sirius makes an attempt at grinning. “But hey, he hasn’t fired me yet, so I guess he doesn’t totally hate me?”
Remus doesn’t laugh at the joke.
When Remus stops by the inn that evening to bring Lily and James freshly baked bread for breakfast the next morning, Sirius is in the common room, sitting on the rug in front of the fire place, playing with Harry.
Without really being aware of it, Remus stops and looks at the scene. Sirius must’ve just gotten out of the shower, as his hair is still damp, and instead of the usual ponytail or messy bun, it’s hanging loose over his shoulders. As he reaches over to take the toy Harry’s offering him, a few dark strands fall across his face, contrasting with the brightness eyes.
Lily comes to stand next to Remus and sends him a knowing smile. “Lovely sight, isn’t it?”
“I really don’t see the point of this.”
‘How do you not see the point?” Remus replies, and Sirius has to do his very best to focus on his words, with Remus’ hands so close to his lower back, where he’s tying up the apron that he hung around Sirius’ neck, a dark green thing with images of Christmas cookies printed all over it. “You have a good time, and you end up with a batch of freshly baked gingerbread cookies! It’s the perfect Sunday morning activity.”
“But factories are completely specialised in baking gingerbread, their only goal to determine the perfect balance of ingredients, the exact baking time, the perfect temperature, and then they produce hundreds of gingerbread cookies a day! I don’t know the first thing about baking, so why would I go through all that trouble when the cookies I make will never be as good as the manufactured ones?”
Remus places his hands on Sirius’ shoulders and starts steering him towards the kitchen of Moony’s. “Home-baked always taste better than manufactured! You can’t deny that!”
Sirius shrugs. “I bought an instant cake mix once, but then my oven caught fire.”
Remus starts steering Sirius away from the kitchen and towards the kitchen table. “You know what? Why don’t you do the decorating once the first batch is finished, and leave the baking to me!”
“This is... a mess.” Remus holds up one of the cookies that Sirius decorated, or, well, tried to decorate. “It doesn’t look like a gingerbread man anymore, more like a gingerbread monstrosity.”
Sirius takes over the cookie from Remus and studies it. “It kind of reminds me of my mother,” he says before biting the head off.
“Your mother must be quite something.”
“You know how some people only introduce someone to their mother when they think the relationship is getting real?”
Remus nods.
“Well, for me, it’s the opposite. When I really like someone, I keep them as far away from my mother as possible, but when I want to break up with someone, I introduce them to my mother, and that’s usually enough to send them running in the other direction as fast as they can.”
Remus shudders. “I hope I never have to meet your mother.” Only after saying it, he realises how it must’ve sounded. “I mean... I don’t mean... Not that we would ever...”
Sirius just smiles softly. “Don’t worry, Remus. I would never introduce you to my mother.”
Remus blushes as Sirius looks at him.
Sirius tilts his head. “You have a bit of... cake batter on your cheek.”
Remus quickly wipes at his face, only smearing the batter further.
Sirius lets out a soft laugh. “Wait, let me.” He leans in and reaches out a hand, placing his fingers gently on Remus’ cheek, while wiping the batter away with his thumb. “There,” he whispers, not removing his hand from Remus’ face. “Perfect.”
Remus meets Sirius’ eyes, and almost automatically, they lean in, slowly bridging the distance between their faces.
“Remus! Thank god, here you are!”
Sirius and Remus quickly jump apart as a young woman enters the kitchen, slightly out of breath.
“Alice?” Remus asks. “What’s wrong?”
“Mister Honeydukes fell down a step decorating his Christmas tree!”
Remus jumps up. “Oh no, is he alright?”
“Yes, yes,” Alice quickly says. “But he strained his ankle, and he was supposed to bake Christmas cookies for all children of the school for tomorrow! You’re the only one who can bake as good as he can, maybe even better! Can you help, please?”
“Tomorrow?” Remus asks, his eyes widening. “That’ll cost me all day! And I was supposed to go to the Christmas Tree Farm with my father today, and help my parents decorate their tree...”
“I’m sorry, Remus. You know I wouldn’t ask if I had any other choice. It’s just... the children will be so disappointed!” Alice pleads.
“Oh, alright. I’ll do it.”
Sirius stands up and places a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “I wish I could help, but I really don’t think a burning oven will do you any good right now.”
Exhausted, Remus walks over to his parents’ house for dinner. He’s had very long day, but he managed to bake enough sugar cookies in the shapes of angels, pine trees, stars and wreaths for all children, and thinking about how happy they’ll be tomorrow kind of makes up for it. He hopes his parents managed okay without him though.
As he walks into the living room, he stops, staring in surprise at the scene in front of him.
His mum and dad are decorating the Christmas tree, together with Sirius. His parents are laughing at some joke Sirius just made, and all three of them are wearing Santa hats. Sirius is even wearing one of his mum’s trademark knitted Christmas sweaters! His having a dog wearing a Santa hat on it.
Sirius spots him and beams. “Hiya, Remus! Your dad asked me to help him pick up a tree at the Christmas Tree Farm- which is actually a farm with nothing but Christmas trees! Who would’ve thought? – and then your mum asked me to join them for the decorating!”
“Did you know Sirius never had a Christmas tree growing up?” His mum asks, sounding scandalized.
“And your mum even made me this sweater!” Sirius tugs on the sweater to show Remus, as if he could’ve missed.
Remus stares at his mum. “How did you even...”
“Oh, simple,” his mum says, waving her hand. “I know your size, so just a bit longer, a bit broader in the shoulders, a bit narrower in the waist...”
“Yes, thank you, we get the picture,” Remus says, not needing a side-by-side comparison of his and Sirius’ physique.
“Come on, Remus!” His mum says. “Go put on your Christmas sweater! I want to take a photo of you handsome boys in front of the tree!”
“You don’t have to wear that if you don’t want to,” Remus says softly as he and Sirius are posing in front of the Christmas tree, while his mum is trying to figure out how her camera works.
“Are you trying to get me to take my clothes off, Lupin?” Sirius says teasingly. “Tough luck, I love my new sweater, and I’m never taking it off!”
“I know my parents can be quite... intense, and I don’t want you to feel obligated...”
“Do you mean you didn’t ask your parents to do this? I thought it must’ve been part of your whole finding the True Meaning of Christmas-thing.”
“No,” Remus shakes his head while looking over at his parents. “This is all them, I’m afraid.”
“Hey,” Sirius sounds a little anxious now. “I didn’t mean to just intrude on your family-time. I understand if you want me to leave?”
“No!” Remus quickly says. “No, I want you here. I... I like having you here.”
“Good,” Sirius says, relieved. “Because there’s no place I’d rather be.”
Remus turns to Sirius and looks up at him with a soft smile, and Sirius looks back at him with a similar smile on his face. And that’s the exact moment Remus’ mum finally figures out how to work her camera.
“Sirius, you’re staying for dinner.”
“Oh no,” Sirius says, already half getting up from his chair. “I couldn’t possibly impose on your hospitality even more than I-”
“Son,” Remus’ dad places a hand on his arm. “One thing you’ll learn soon enough now you’re in Godric’s Hollow: when Hope Lupin says that you’re staying for dinner, it’s not a question.”
That’s how Sirius finds himself joining the Lupins at their dinner table, Remus’ mum and Remus sitting across from Remus’ dad and Sirius. Remus’ mum notices with great satisfaction how Sirius and Remus keep throwing glances at each other, and exchanging small smiles every time their eyes meet, both blushing as they look away again, but she doesn’t mention it.
“So, Sirius,” she asks. “What do you later want to be?”
Sirius chuckles. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I know I have a youthful appearance, but I’m afraid I’m already twenty-five, and that’s all been decided.”
Remus’ mum shakes her head. “That’s nonsense! First of all, you are still very young, and have your whole life in front of you. But more importantly, what does age even have to do with it? It’s never too late to decide what you want to be!”
Sirius thinks about it for a moment. “Well,” he says slowly. “I think I’d like to be a photographer. A real one. Not to sell stuff, but just for the beauty of it.”
“That’s lovely. Remus says your photos are really good.”
“Does he now?” Sirius raises an eyebrow. “Well, he certainly has never said that to me!”
“Because unlike my mother, I know the danger of inflating your ego even more,” Remus says airily.
“Oi!” Sirius laughs, and then tells Remus’ mum “Truth be told, I couldn’t have done it without your son. I had forgotten to see the beauty in things, and your son...” He turns to look at Remus. “Well, he was my wake-up call.”
After dinner, Remus gets up to help his parents clear the table, and Sirius gets up as well.
“Not you, Sirius,” Remus’ mum says. “You’re a guest.”
Sirius opens his mouth to protest, but Remus’ dad gives him a look and he sits down with a sigh. “Let me guess, not a question either?”
“You two make a great couple.”
Remus is helping his mum do the dishes, his father having gotten out of it this time, as he already went and got the tree today.
Remus groans. “Mum, he’s not staying, he lives miles away, and we only just met. We’re not going to be a couple!”
“Not with that attitude, you won’t,” his mum scoffs.
“What do you want me to do then? Ask him to give up his family, his job, his entire life, to come to some sleepy small town for a local café owner he only just met? Or do you suggest we try long distance? With him probably being too busy with his life in the big city to even call, and meeting at least ten people a day who are all a hundred times more interesting than I am?”
His mum sighs. “I know it won’t be easy, Remus. These things hardly ever are. But there’s something between you two! The whole town is talking about it. You two have this amazing chemistry that doesn’t come along so often, and I’d hate to see you turn your back on that. You talk about him all the time! He about you as well, mind you. And the way he looks at you...”
“Stop it, mum! Just... stop it. You’re giving me...”
“Hope?” His mum smiles. “That does sound like me, doesn’t it?”
The large balcony of the Deer ‘n Doe Inn gives a great view over Godric’s Hollow. The sun is shining brightly in the blue sky, the church bells are ringing, the large Christmas tree on the square is just peeking out above the houses with their snow-covered rooftops.
Sirius sighs as he takes it all in. “It’s official. I’ve gotten attached.”
Remus smiles, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the railing. “Yeah, it’s hard not to fall in love with, innit?”
Sirius looks over at Remus, his golden curls blowing softly in the wind, a content look on his face, the tip of his nose red and his cheeks rosy from the cold air. “Very hard not to fall in love with,” he says softly.
Remus turns to Sirius, and seeing Sirius looking at him intently, his cheeks colour even more and he drops his gaze. “Sirius...”
“Here you are!”
Lily steps out onto the balcony, pulling her vest tighter around her, Harry trailing after her.
“Sirius, I was looking for you. The trains have started up again, so regarding your booking, I wanted to ask whether you’re planning on leaving today, or maybe you’ve decided to stay a bit longer?” Her eyes quickly dart over to Remus and back at those last words.
“The trains are riding again?” Sirius can’t help the relief in his voice. Yes, he loves Godric’s Hollow (well, maybe it’s not per se the town he loves), and he hates to leave, but he has also been feeling terribly guilty about letting his little brother deal with their parents and all the Holiday stress on his own. As the big brother it’s his obligation to at least share the burden. Besides, even if he were to decide to turn his life upside down and make some drastic decision regarding his future, he should talk to Regulus about it first, as it’ll affect him too. He owes him that much.
Sirius doesn’t notice the way Remus’ shoulders stiffen at hearing the relief in Sirius’ voice. “Isn’t that wonderful?” There’s a sharp edge to Remus’ voice. “I bet you can’t wait to get back to your real life.”
Sirius gives him a confused look. “Is something wrong?”
“Of course not. Everything’s great! The trains are riding again! You can finally get out of here!”
“Why are you acting like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you can’t wait for me to leave!”
“Well, don’t you want to leave?”
“I... I guess, but...”
“Then what's the problem?”
“I... I suppose there’s no problem.” Sirius runs a hand through his hair. “I’ll just go pack my things then.”
Remus watches Sirius go inside.
“I’ll help, sir Sirrus!” Harry runs after him and grabs his hand.
Lily crosses her arms in front of her chest and glares at Remus.
“What?” Remus says. “You heard him when he found out the trains are going again! He can’t wait to leave! He doesn’t want to stay!”
“You don’t know that!” Lily retorts. “You haven’t asked him, and as long as you don’t ask, you don’t know!”
“Come on, let’s be honest. Just because he hung out with me when he had nowhere else to go...”
“You’re just scared! You’re scared that if you ask him to stay, he’ll leave anyway. And hell, maybe he will, but then at least you know! At least you’ll have taken a chance! You’re so scared of getting hurt, so scared of running the risk that after being open and vulnerable with him, he’ll still leave, so you choose to push him away yourself. But you’re just hurting the both of you right now.”
Remus’ expression hardens. “Our lives are too different, Lily. Just because you have a connection with someone, doesn’t mean that’s who you’re supposed to be with. Timing and circumstance also matter, and right now, timing and circumstance have decided that he’s not for me.”
III. A Godric’s Hollow Christmas
Sirius is in his office, wearing one of his best suits, standing in front of the large windows that cover almost the entire wall. People are always praising the view over the city his office offers, but all Sirius sees is grey. Grey sky, grey skyscrapers, grey streets. He has a lunch scheduled with the Lestranges in half an hour. Rabastan Lestrange is always making unsolicited advances at Sirius, and gets handsy when he drinks too much, which is almost always. But the Lestranges are important clients, so Sirius just has to ‘sit there, be polite, and smile through it’ as his mother puts it.
Behind him, the door opens and closes. Sirius doesn’t look away from the window as footsteps approach.
“What’s gotten into you?” Regulus asks. “Normally, I’d say you’re just dreading having to be in the same room as Rabastan Lestrange, but you’ve been acting off ever since you came back from this Godric’s Hollow place. What happened to you there? Or should I say who happened to you?”
Sirius lets out a humourless chuckle as Regulus joins him at the window. Regulus is shorter and slightly more scrawny than Sirius, but he might look like a young boy, hell, he is a young boy, but employees leap to obey when Regulus tells them to do something. He’s disciplined and responsible, much more so than Sirius, and he knows how to direct a business. Sirius’ strength lies in coming up with creative ideas and branding, but Regulus is a marketing genius. He knows the numbers and he knows the market, and he knows exactly what calls to make to generate most profit. Regulus is cunning and ambitious, and he thrives in the family business. You’d think their parents would be pleased, but Regulus is better at leading the company than they are, and he loves nothing more than to show them just how much better, which decidedly does not please them. But still, Regulus is happy with his role in the family business, which is more than Sirius can say.
“Regulus, what would you think if I told you that I’ve been doubting whether this, this job, this company, this lifestyle, is really what I’m supposed to be doing?”
“Honestly? I’d be surprised,” Regulus says. “Surprised that you’re only figuring that out now! Sirius, I’ve known this isn’t for you since the first day you started working for the family business. If only because it’s literally draining the life out of you day by day. Really, I thought you knew, and were just waiting for the right moment to leave.” Regulus shakes his head. “Well, this does explain why it’s taking you so long.”
Sirius stares at him for a moment, then a broad grin appears on his face. A weight seems lifted now that a large part of his doubts disappears, with Regulus confirming what he had been feeling. “So, what would you say if I told you that I might have found a place where I think I could belong?”
Regulus grins back. “I’d say what on earth are you doing here?”
Sirius gives his little brother a hug, and when he pulls away, Regulus takes something out of his coat pocket. “Before I forget, this was just delivered for you. I managed to snatch it away before mother could see.” He hands Sirius what seems to be a Christmas gift, wrapped in dark green paper with red dots. “Merry Christmas, Sirius,” Regulus says, before walking out of the office.
“Merry Christmas,” Sirius replies, staring at the gift in surprise. He opens it, and his lips part in a small gasp. He’s holding a framed photo in his hands, of Remus and him wearing their Christmas sweaters, standing in front of the Christmas tree. They’re not posing for the photo. Remus is looking up at Sirius with a soft smile on his face, and Sirius is looking back with a similar expression, the two of them staring into each other’s eyes and not even seeming aware of the camera, not seeming aware of anything but the other. There’s a small, handwritten note added to the gift, and Sirius reads the single line that’s written there:
It’s never too late to decide what you want to be
“Hope,” James says. “I think you’ve put one plate too many? There’s you, Lyall, Remus, mum, dad, Lily, Harry and me. That’s eight, provided we actually get Harry to sit at the table, not nine.”
“Oh, really, dear?” Hope replies vaguely. “Oh, well. It’s Christmas. You never know what might happen.” She pats James on the head and walks back to the kitchen.
James stares after her shaking his head, and then walks to Remus, who’s still staring out of the window watching the snow fall.
“James,” Remus sighs as he joins him. “Am I an idiot?”
“Yes,” James replies without skipping a beat. “But idiot or not, seeing you, of all people, being so down at Christmas, of all times, is highly unnerving. Don’t you think some distraction might help? Why don’t you join the others in the kitchen? You love cooking Christmas dinner together!”
“I’m not really in the mood for cooking.”
“Alright. Maybe you can play with Harry? He’s been saying he wants to build a snowman.”
“Nah, I want Harry to enjoy Christmas, I don’t want to affect him with my sour mood.”
“Okay, well, maybe...” James desperately tries to think of something else when the doorbell rings. “You can go see who’s at the door?” He tries desperately.
“It’s probably just Carollers, and I don’t want them to-”
“Remus! Go see who’s at the door!” Fed up, James grabs Remus’ shoulders and pushes him towards the door.
Remus’ eyes widen and his mouth opens and closes without any sound coming out as he stands in the doorway, but at least he doesn’t look angry or annoyed, which is a good thing, Sirius thinks. He came here fully prepared for heartbreak, but needless to say, that isn’t the preferred option.
“Hi,” he says, and he probably should’ve come up with something better than that during the train ride.
“You’re... You’re back,” Remus stammers.
“Yeah,” Sirius says, smiling awkwardly. “I’m sorry for intruding on your Christmas like this. I promise I’ll leave if you don’t want me here.”
“No!” Remus exclaims. “No, I don’t want you to leave. I never wanted you to leave. I was just... being stupid. I was so afraid you’d leave anyway if I asked you to stay that I didn’t dare... I was stupid. I wanted you to stay.”
“Do you still want me to stay? And I don’t mean just for Christmas?”
“You have your whole life in the city. You’d give that all up for Godric’s Hollow?”
“No, I’d give that all up for you.”
“But your job...”
“It’s not a job I particularly like, or particularly care about. As a matter of fact, apart from my little brother, I’ve never had anything in my life I particularly liked or particularly cared about, until a guy with kind eyes and a beautiful smile wearing a gaudy Christmas sweater started stalking me for his scheme of teaching me the True Meaning of Christmas.”
Remus moves forward, wraps his arms around Sirius’ neck and pulls him into a kiss. As their lips meet, Sirius’ shock only lasts a second, then he feels sparks all over, and he wraps his arms around Remus’ waist to pull him closer.
When they break apart, they rest their foreheads together, gazing into each other’s eyes with undisguised love.
“Merry Christmas, Remus,” Sirius whispers.