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Lucas likes to think his family is pretty great.
Though he doesn’t have anything to compare to, he’s pretty sure his parents are the best.
They call him little bear which makes Lucas feel fuzzy inside and outside. They always look after him, his dad gives him hugs whenever he asks and his mum makes him ham and cheese sandwiches cut into little triangles. They let him sit in a grown-up chair at the table when they eat dinner, and they never yell even when they’re mad. They watch tv with him on Saturday morning and push him high on the swings when they go to the park.
His dad is really tall, and lifts him up and swings him around until he’s shrieking with laughter and his face is red. His mum says he looks like his dad and Lucas’ guesses she’s right, they both have blonde hair and brown eyes and the same button nose.
Lucas wants to be like his dad when he gets older, his dad is a lawyer which his mum says means he helps people for a living, and he gets to wear fancy suits every day and argue with people for money which Lucas thinks is probably the best job ever.
His mum is a librarian and while Lucas doesn’t find that nearly as exciting, he loves sitting nestled up in one of the booth seats lining the walls with a book, listening to his mum’s bracelets rattle around her wrist as she reshelves books.
She reads to him before bed and buys him bookmarks with funny pictures on them. His mum is pretty too, she has curly brown hair and long eyelashes and even though she says Lucas and his dad are biased, his dad is usually right about these things so Lucas trusts his judgment.
His parents are always saying ‘I love you’ to him and to each other and his mum explained that they had so much love to give they had Lucas just so they could share it with him, which Lucas thinks is kinda mushy, but it makes him happy too.
All in all he thinks his parents are pretty awesome.
So, when he has to give a talk on his family in front of his class, he’s well assured he has the best family ever as he explains all this to his classmates.
Miss Peeters smiles at him as he finishes, and the class is littered with the sound of light clapping. “Thank you, Lucas, David, you’re up next.”
Lucas returns to his desk, brushing by David as he gets up to give his own speech.
Lucas likes David, he’s nice, quiet maybe and Lucas doesn’t know him well, but David sits next to him at recess sometimes, always colouring in his book and Lucas thinks his drawings are really good even if Lucas has never worked up the nerve to tell him so.
David looks kinda nervous, standing at the front, tugging up his hoodie where it’s slipping down his shoulder. He has his hands curled gently in the bottom of his t-shirt, but his mouth slips into a smile as he starts.
“My papa is the coolest. He can ride a skateboard and he takes me to the park to teach me on the weekends. He has a lot of cameras and he’s a video editor, so he helps film things and then edits it to make it look nice and then his videos get used in ads and stuff! But he says he likes taking videos of me the most because I’m his most interesting subject. He plays video games with me on his PlayStation and helps me with my homework.”
Lucas’ eyes widen.
He loves his dad, but his dad can’t ride a skateboard and he doesn’t have a PlayStation and, well, now Lucas kind of wishes he did.
He feels jealousy tickle in his chest, and he tries to bat it down. His mum says everyone feels jealous sometimes and that it’s okay as long as it doesn’t upset you or someone else, but Lucas doesn’t like the way it feels.
So, David has a cool papa, that doesn’t make his own dad any less awesome, they can both have cool dads! And David hasn’t even talked about his mum yet, and there’s no way David’s mum is as good as Lucas’.
David pauses to take a breath and then barrels on, “and my dad is an artist, he draws and paints all the time and sometimes he gets to paint huge pictures on the side of buildings when the city says it’s okay, he also teaches art to other people, but papa still calls him our artist. Dad always listens to old rock music even though papa says it’s pretend-sish , and he buys us matching t-shirts. He lets me help cook dinner and he makes the best croques ever. He even gives me piggybacks around the house and convinces papa to let me stay up past bedtime.”
David says a little more and then receives his own round of applause before he walks back to his seat, but Lucas’ mind is already racing.
David has two dads ? How cool would it be to have two dads? He imagines having two dads to watch cartoons with on Saturdays and having two dads to lift him up and spin him around. If one of them got tired they could just switch! That’s not fair! And they play video games and ride skateboards and let him stay up late? Not fair at all.
Lucas has some serious reevaluating to do.
***
At lunchtime the next day, Lucas sees David seated at one of the wooden picnic tables outside, drawing.
Normally there’s a couple of other kids from their class around, but they’re all playing tag today and Lucas knows David doesn’t like running that much.
So, David is alone, and Lucas seizes his opportunity.
He sits down beside David as carefully as he can, while shooting him glances, trying simultaneously to not bother him, but also get his attention.
Just as he settles David looks up from his drawing, shooting Lucas a grin. “Hi Lucas.”
“Hi David”—he pauses, nervous—“what are you doing?”
David’s smile grows and he shoves his book between them excitedly. “Finishing this drawing me and my dad started yesterday, see!”
Lucas leans over to look and finds a picture done in pencil, a sketch of a man, standing with his legs parted and a microphone clutched in his hand. It’s drawn all jagged and there's lots of little lines, squiggly and straight, but it looks cool, messy but in a fun way.
“Who’s that?” Lucas asks, pointing at the drawing.
“Freddie Mercury, dad says Bowie is better but Freddie is a close second.” Lucas doesn’t know what that means but he nods along anyway. David looks at him with wide eyes. “Do you like to draw too?”
Lucas gnaws on his lip. “I’m not very good, but I like colouring.”
“Colouring is fun,” David replies, eyes round and truthful.
Lucas relaxes, slumping forward. “Does your dad draw with you a lot?” he asks.
David looks up from the page with a grin and nods excitedly. “Yeah! All the time!”
“What do you guys draw? Just people?”
“Mostly. Dad is teaching me how to draw people first,” David goes back to shading the edge of the sketch, smile still there but smaller, “but dad can draw lots of stuff, eyes, hands, trees.”
David starts flipping back through his book, stopping on a double page, one side with a bunch of neat images of eyes and on the opposite page messier, more childish copies.
“That’s cool,” Lucas admits as David turns the page again, this time the face of a man smiles up at them. “Who’s that?”
“That’s my papa,” David scrunches his nose up, “dad is always drawing him and then leaving the papers around for him to find, it makes papa all smiley and red”—he shrugs—”I don’t get it.”
Lucas nods in understanding. “Mushy stuff, my dad buys my mum flowers all the time and she just stares at them.”
“Parents are weird,” David agrees, humming and staring off at the playground.
So David’s parents are gross too, Lucas wonders if all parents are or if he and David are just unlucky.
“Are your dads married, like my mum and dad?” Lucas asks, fiddling with his jacket zipper.
David pauses, looking thoughtful. “No, but we went to Aunty Zoë and Uncle Senne’s wedding and it was really fun so dad said maybe they would have one one day.”
Lucas nods again, he’s run out of things to say so he just sits quietly and watches as David returns to his original drawing, listening to the sound of the pencil scratching against the paper.
After a moment David straightens up, face bright. “Do you wanna come over this afternoon? We could draw and colour?”
And because things are that simple when you’re seven Lucas smiles, gap-toothed and says “Yeah!”
They sit side by side until the bell rings.
***
Standing in the middle of David’s living room Lucas is even more jealous.
Because David’s house isn’t a house, it’s an apartment, with stairs.
David’s papa unlocks the front door for them and leads them inside.
Lucas’ mum told him once that some people smile with their eyes instead of their mouths and David’s papa is like that. He’s really nice and his voice is soft, but his eyes are always smiling. He let them pick the music in the car on the way home and laughed at all their stories from school. Lucas likes him.
“Okay, go put your bags in David’s room, I’ll find you something to eat,” David’s Papa says.
David gives Lucas a wide smile and takes off. “Come on!”
Lucas hurries after him, his backpack jingling as he fast walks to keep up.
The door cracks open when David pulls the handle and at his back Lucas rises onto his tiptoes to peek into the room.
He catches a glimpse of a bed pushed into the back corner before David swings the door wide and walks inside.
Lucas follows and watches as David drops his bag next to a small desk. Lucas copies him, leaving his own backpack by the door and looking around the room.
Lucas’ mum tells him not to be dramatic, but he can’t help thinking David's room is probably the coolest place ever.
Above the desk is a board completely covered up with different drawings, some David's, some his dad’s, so full they’re sticking over the edges of the frame like leaves.
Lucas wanders over to David and runs his hand over the edge of the table. The actual desk is covered in paper and pencils and texters, so many sheets and so much colour. Lucas picks up one of the pieces of paper, eyes dragging curiously over a pretty pencil drawing of a tree.
Looking up from where he was kicking off his sneakers David smiles toothily. “Oh yeah! We can colour that in later maybe, if you want, or we could draw something together?”
“Yeah sure!” Lucas agrees eagerly, but he’s quickly distracted by the other things in David’s room. There’s so much stuff .
And of course Lucas has his own toys at home, he has a DS and a scooter and lots and lots of lego, but David’s things are interesting.
Lucas notices two glossy lightning bolts are positioned over the bed, a bigger one in blue and red and a smaller one in yellow and purple. The other walls had pretty posters in different sizes, some of the people drawn in David’s sketchbook, some other ones Lucas didn’t know.
David’s sheets are untucked and messy, (Lucas feels a sting of resentment towards his parents) and he can see the doona is navy blue and dotted with little planets and constellations. There’s a little glowing blue dome on the bedside table that is glinting with the same patterns of stars. Lucas wanders over, touching it carefully and watching as the constellations move when he spins it.
“You like space?” Lucas asks.
“Yeah, I love space.” David rocks forward on his feet, excited. “The stars are my favourite though.”
“Why are they your favourite?”
“Because when stars explode they release all these elements and those elements are what make up people so in a weird way we’re sort of made of stars, or made by stars and I think it’s kinda like magic,” David says, voice gentle.
Lucas realises David smiles with his eyes too.
Lucas shakes his head. He wants to ask more questions, but he doesn’t know where to start. “Woah, how do you know that?”
“Papa told me, he says I could be an astronomer when I grow up.”
Lucas doesn’t spend much time thinking about what he wants to be. Sure his teacher is really smart and firefighters are cool and going to work with his mum is always fun, but Lucas has never really liked something enough to dream of having it as a job.
“I don’t know what I want to be,” he admits, walking to the bookshelf by the door, thumbing at the spines of the books.
“That’s okay, I don’t know either, my dad says most people are just pretending they know what they’re doing anyway,” David grins.
Lucas giggles, “your dad sounds cool.”
“He is,” David’s smile gets small and shy, “he’ll be home soon.”
David shrugs his hoodie off and throws it into a comfy chair in the corner. “Come on, papa probably has food ready.”
Lucas follows him back down the hallway, passing the couches in the living room to the kitchen.
David hops up on one of the stools at the counter and Lucas follows suit.
Lucas’ papa pushes two plates across the counter towards them, each with a cheese sandwich cut into triangles and green apple slices.
David pouts, “Papaaaaa.”
“I know, I know,” David’s papa laughs, turning around and returning with a butter knife and a jar of peanut butter, which he sets down in front of David. “You aren’t allergic are you Lucas?”
Lucas shakes his head no and watches as David angles his elbow high, digging down into the jar with the knife and smearing peanut butter onto one of the apple slices. He sees Lucas watching and offers him the jar. “You want some?”
“Yeah.” Lucas accepts the jar and the knife and makes up his own slice.
They eat loudly, talking in between bites whilst David’s papa washes dishes in the sink. If Lucas strains his ears he can hear David’s papa singing quietly over the sound of the running water.
“Papa play it on the speaker!” David calls.
David’s papa looks over his shoulder, “David not everyone wants to listen to Bowie as much as you and your dad do. Why don’t you let Lucas pick.”
“No! That’s okay, I want to hear.” Lucas says.
David cheers, but his papa watches Lucas carefully, face all soft like he wanted to make sure Lucas knew it was okay to say no. His mama makes that face sometimes, it makes Lucas feel warm.
“Okay,” David's papa agrees, and takes their now empty plates, “what are you two gonna do now?”
“We were gonna draw,” David pipes up.
“Okay why don’t you go set up on the coffee table then, I’ll turn on the speaker.”
Lucas and David rush off to gather pencils and paper from David’s room and when they return music is drifting from the kitchen.
David hums as they spread out their supplies on the table and they set about making a rough sketch.
They get about halfway done before boredom takes over and they abandon their work in favour of playing Animal Crossing on the TV.
As the sky outside the window turns to orange and gold the front door opens and a man that must be David’s dad strolls in.
He’s tall and to Lucas’ amazement his hair is bright white. He looks like a superhero, like Quicksilver. He’s also wearing boots, not like the smooth brown ones Lucas’ dad wears, but big clunky black ones.
“Having fun without me?” he asks, and if Lucas had to describe the look in his eyes he’d say twinkly.
David jumps up and bolts to the door. “Daddy!”
David’s dad catches him easily and hoists David up into his arms, swinging him around in a tight hug. “Hey little man.”
He presses a kiss to David’s head before he puts him down. David latches onto his dad’s hand and drags him over to where Lucas is sitting. “Dad, this is my friend Lucas from school.”
“Hi Lucas.” David’s dad says and then holds his hand out for Lucas to shake.
The only time Lucas has shaken someone's hand before was one of the other lawyers at his dad’s work and well that had felt more like a joke Lucas didn’t understand than an introduction. With David’s dad it feels different, like he’s showing Lucas some kind of trust. So Lucas shakes his hand and tries to keep his grip strong.
“Okay in a minute I’ll be back, and you two can tell me about your day, but I’ve gotta say hello to papa first.”
They both nod and unpause their game, but David is watching his parents in the kitchen rather than actually using his controller so Lucas follows his gaze.
Despite what he said, David’s dad doesn’t actually say hello. He steps in close, easing into David’s papa’s arms without having to look and yeah Lucas has definitely seen that expression on his parents face before.
Lucas glances away before any gross stuff can begin, but David isn’t so lucky and he sighs.
“They’re always like this,” he informs Lucas, but he’s still smiling.
Lucas risks a quick peek back into the kitchen, but David’s parents aren’t kissing like he suspected.
They’re just holding each other really tight and whispering and it’s sort of warm and fizzy to look at.
Lucas smiles back at David and thinks that maybe love isn’t so gross after all.
Decides maybe he should protest less when his parents do the same.
Because well, if it makes them that happy, he doesn’t want them to stop.
***
David’s papa drops Lucas home just in time for dinner.
“Hey bear, did you have fun?” his mum asks from where she’s looking for a pot in the cupboard.
Lucas gnaws on his lip.
His mum straightens up, concerned. “Lucas?”
“Mum, it’s not fair !” he bursts.
His mum’s eyebrows are doing that squiggly confused thing and she looks at dad who’s sat on the couch beside Lucas. “What’s not fair?”
“David has two dads and why don’t we listen to David Bowie and I want pizza for dinner!”
There’s silence for a minute.
“I honestly don’t know which of those to begin with,” she says with a laugh. She puts the pot she’d managed to pull out, back into the cupboard and steps around the table to get close to Lucas and run a hand through his hair. “We can have pizza for dinner.”
“But on the dad front unfortunately you’re stuck with just me kid,” but his dad’s voice is jokey so Lucas knows he’s not upset.
Lucas sighs, “they’re just really cool.”
His dad raises an eyebrow. “Cooler than us?”
“I didn’t say that,” Lucas mumbles.
“Very lawyer-y answer, I’m impressed,” his dad says and then tugs Lucas in to tickle him until he’s squealing and begging him to stop.
His mum joins them, squeezing in on the other side as they finish flailing around. “I guess we’ll have to meet this extremely cool family.”
“Yeah,” Lucas agrees as he snuggles into her side.
His dad flips the TV on but turns the volume low, slinging his arm around them both. Lucas knows he’s brushing gently through his mum’s hair with his fingers.
Lucas smiles and doesn’t say anything.
They sit in quiet happiness until Lucas’ dad says, “David Bowie huh?”