Chapter Text
– Have you ever felt abandoned by the ones you trusted? –
Juli threw the file she had been reading onto the table before smacking her palms onto the mahogany with a bang. She despised authority enough as it is, let alone incompetent authority.
KCPD Detectives Sebastian Castellanos and Joseph Oda, the pair she had been assigned to work with, were weak.
Their flaws were glaringly obvious from the information she had been given. One was a raging alcoholic with no respect for the rules; harsh, prone to anger. The other was slightly better – yet not much more than a demure, spineless boy who bent over backwards to accommodate his partner’s wishes. To have her first assignment experience tainted by these kind of people was incredibly insulting.
Yet her superior, the head of Mobius, seemed coolly unaffected by her rude reaction. He lounged behind his large desk, twiddling his thumbs in amusement.
“You actually expect me to work with these sorry excuses for detectives?” Juli spat. “What use could they be to us?”
“Have you not read the file properly, Kid? They are an efficient duo – nonetheless, Mobius isn’t interested in what they do in the scope of their job.” The brunette felt a wave of goosebumps dance across her skin as the suited man’s laughter rang throughout the spacious room, his silhouette seemingly morphing and lengthening.
A trick of the light, Juli reasoned, filtering through the huge glass window. What else could it be?
“In any event, we have carefully picked out the ones we considered were the most – expendable. I am sure you agree with me.” The figure bathed in shadows smiled when Juli hesitated at his statement. The man slowly stood, moving around to clap the agent on her shoulder.
“This is the easy bit, Kid. Watch them closely. Learn to be one of them. You will get your real assignment soon enough.”
I will never be abandoned again, if I do not trust.
– Are there sins that you are ashamed of? –
The detectives she’d originally written off as useless, in fact, did excel in their shared work.
It didn't take long before Juli realized that she’d been attached to the Krimson City Police Department for nearly half a year. By now, the brunette had observed enough that she could easily pinpoint her partners’ intrinsic traits. She had become accustomed to the pattern of scratches on the liquor bottle Sebastian would swig from throughout the day, and the smell of cigarette smoke lingering on his trench coat whenever he swept past her desk. She was ever so familiar with the careful manner Joseph would remove his glasses to wipe them clean on his waistcoat, and the genuine smile and nod he'd offer by way of greeting when she entered their office every morning.
Juli used to laugh to herself, thinking about just how easy Joseph was. She’d expected a homicide detective to be less… trusting. At least the older detective had enough of his wits to remain wary in his approach to her.
More recently though, she’d find her wry smile accompanied by an uncharacteristic tug to her heartstrings that she never fully understood.
The change in the dynamics of the partnership had been gradual enough. Juli couldn’t fathom personally how Sebastian could drag himself into their office by 7 a.m most mornings and start working straight away, if not for discipline and sheer willpower. Nor could she understand why Joseph, despite his increasingly-prominent frown lines, would speak about everything under the sun except his partner’s worsening appearance.
Maybe it was just sentimentality. A human affliction of sorts – because Juli’s work was a routine she thought she’d hate, but surprisingly didn’t. She did like observation work and was confident of her acting skills, but she also thoroughly enjoyed the thrill of solving cases. She would be quite happy to continue as a detective... if she hadn’t been an undercover agent, that is.
The brunette had always managed to worm herself out of trouble even back when she was younger. She'd stolen statuettes in her village for the heck of it, but somewhat disappointingly, she had never been caught.
The situation she was in now actually resembled the normal life she’d never had – of regular interaction with people she could consider as friends. That Juli actually could mean something to someone.
Don’t kid yourself.
Juli knew Mobius would not approve of her getting emotional. She had to be in total control.
She hardened her resolve.
There is no shame in sinning,
if you repent and never do it again.
– I needn’t remind you of the consequences of failure. –
Juli had played the part of a trainee detective for more than a year now. Finally, things were about to come to an end.
It was 10.30 p.m. on a weeknight and thundering outside. Juli had left her work folder at the homicide department, and she had nothing else to do to take her mind off the inevitable.
Mobius had called about an hour ago to inform the agent that her new assignment was almost ready. She hadn’t been given the details yet, but Juli had an instinct that whatever it was, it involved her KCPD superiors – and not in a good way.
She felt a twinge of shame for her gullible attachment towards her targets. It made the brunette want to throw up.
Or was there another reason?
The brunette spent several moments staring blankly around her empty apartment before grabbing her coat and car keys. She'd gathered a fair amount of intelligence about Sebastian and Joseph over the months, but she hadn’t yet had the opportunity to copy off the content in their office computers. Juli had felt it was too risky to do so before – but if it was true that this particular assignment was coming to an end, then she had nothing to lose.
At that time of the night, the drive to KCPD didn’t take very long. Juli gingerly gave her umbrella a few shakes, not bothering to turn on the lights in the corridors as she made her way to the Homicide Department.
Her hand froze on the door handle when she realized that she was not alone.
Did they find out? It can’t be – I’ve been so careful.
The brunette slowly backed away from the door panel, observing the figure.
He was bent over his desk, head shielded by his arms. Whoever he was, he didn’t particularly look like he was waiting for her. Juli let out a shaky exhale of relief.
Her first thought was that it must be Sebastian, accidentally passed out from excessive drink - only that the man was not seated at Sebastian’s desk.
This doesn’t make sense at all.
The sound of the office door opening made the figure stir.
Alright. Make it look real.
“Joseph?” The concern was apparent in her voice. “…are you alright?”
The pale man started, turning away slightly from Juli as if he was ashamed. Joseph was still in his detective uniform, and he looked completely exhausted. Under the dim lighting, the brunette could clearly make out the wrinkles etched deep into the corners of his eyes and on his forehead, making him look decades older than thirty-two.
Joseph's eyes were red and ringed with dark circles. He carefully removed his glasses to rub at them, massaging the bridge of his nose. “Kidman? I– I didn’t expect to see you here at this time of the night.” His voice sounded cracked, as if he’d been crying.
“Gosh, Joseph.”
She felt genuine worry creep into her words as she approached her partner to rub soothing circles on his back. She’d never seen the detective lose his cool even while pursuing murderers – let alone to this extent.
“What happened?”
Joseph seemed to hesitate for the longest time on whether to provide his subordinate with a proper explanation, but she stood her ground. “You can trust me, Joseph.”
No, you can’t. But I need to know.
Finally, the man gave in. “Do you promise to keep this a secret?”
The brunette nodded. “Of course.”
Reassured by her answer, Joseph pushed a folder towards her wordlessly. Juli flipped it open, mentally bracing herself for a nasty surprise.
Apparently, she hadn't prepared herself well enough.
The binder clattered to the ground noisily, contents scattering around the detective pair.
What–? But I’m the one who is supposed to be doing the double crossing…?
“You’re reporting Sebastian to Internal Affairs?!" She was met with stony silence.M"Joseph, have you lost–"
Juli stopped herself mid-sentence after taking one good look at her partner. Trying her best to formulate her incredulity into something more helpful, she ventured, "I- are you sure you want to do this?”
“I don’t, Kidman.” Joseph hissed. He rubbed at his face forcefully, his black gloves irritating his ashen skin. “I really don’t want to do this… but I just don’t know what to do anymore!”
Juli found herself holding her breath. This was the sensible man that calculated his every action and word, making sure everything was polite and considerate. Yet, she was now the sole witness to Joseph’s carefully-maintained image of professionalism being torn apart - by a tirade of anger, hurt and utter helplessness.
Joseph… he’s going to hate himself for the rest of his life.
Had he always been so distraught about this? How could I…not know?
Joseph’s gloved hands were trembling uncontrollably, and Juli wordlessly gripped them with her own steady ones. “You’ve seen Seb. He’s not getting any better at dealing with things.” His gaze was pleading, hoping for the brunette could validate his eventual act of betrayal against his partner.
You are asking the wrong person, Joseph.
Juli tried to speak as comfortingly as possible despite her own distraught mental state. “Are you… sure this is the only way forward?”
“I can't bear to watch Sebastian hurt himself any more. If it costs him his job – or mine – then I will see it done.” The detective was shaking like a leaf, but his words were laced with conviction.
Juli knelt next to her partner, watching the display of intense emotions twisting his features. “If that’s what you have to do – then do it, Joseph,” she whispered.
Silence.
Joseph let out a long, pained exhale. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
The brunette didn't reply, wondering if Joseph would still be this grateful if he found out who she really was.
Mobius’ proper assignment hasn’t even begun, and everything is already going to shit.
The detective gently loosened his hands from Juli’s grasp in a valiant attempt to regain his composure.
“I– I apologize, Kidman. I never wanted you to see us being unprofessional. But I assure you that Seb and I did try our best. I hope you’ve learnt enough with us to go ahead and qualify as a proper detective.”
Selfless, right until the very last moment. You’re such a ridiculous man, you know?
“…I am sorry too, Joseph.” She enveloped the man in the tightest hug she could muster, hoping that it could - somehow - be adequate to put him back together.
Joseph relaxed noticeably in her hold, and Juli cupped her partner’s face almost tenderly. He wore a shy smile at first, but stiffened when he noticed her expression.
”Why are you crying, Kidman? Please don’t– I’m really sorry I put you in this position–“ The man tried to remove himself from his partner’s embrace, but Juli only held on tighter, hot tears falling onto his shoulder.
The fault had never been on this man, but he's always willingly taken all the blame.
And for what? So that he'd be the only one that had to suffer?
It might have worked - if I didn't exist.
If I wasn't meant to destroy the same people who genuinely cared about me.
If I wasn't about to fucking ruin you, Detective Joseph Oda.
She’d never forget the sensation of Joseph’s gloved fingers wiping away the tears staining her cheeks; and the way they ran through her hair when she quietly pressed her lips against his.
– You’re weak, Kid. And you’re disappointing us. –
I have no regrets.