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“Look! He’s coming this way!”
“Isn’t he handsome?”
“He’s the most popular boy in school!”
“I wish he’d look my way….”
Nobuo put on his best swagger as he walked down the school hallway towards the excited girls. They were all in sailor fuku too—how cute! Clearly this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, not to be missed!
“Hi ladies.” He lowered his voice to a suave bass, and raised his hand to give a cool and casual wave, but it seemed his advances were ignored as they stared past him, continuing to chatter away amongst themselves.
“I hear he’s going to choose his invite to the school formal today!”
“Ooooh... I wish it were me. I don’t think he even knows I exist, though.”
“If he asked me, I’d probably die!”
“Bad boys are the coolest, aren’t they?”
Nobuo tried to stop his mouth from twitching as he turned around, embarrassed as he was, to find out who else could be raising so much enthusiasm.
And there he was, the boy that they must all be talking about. His blond hair was coiffed in a punkish updo, and while he wore a gakuran like Nobuo, his was undone, revealing a leopard print shirt underneath.
Why did he look so familiar? It couldn’t just be because he was a popular ikemen, could it? The girls certainly thought so, from the way they were calling out to him as he strutted along.
“Kabuki-kun!”
“Kabuki-kuuuuuun!!!!!!!”
But just as the girls had ignored Nobuo, so too were they ignored as the so-called Kabuki-kun continued forward, stopping right in front of…
Him?
That couldn’t be right.
“Yes, you, little butterfly. It’s nice seeing you again.”
Wait. Butterfly? Kabuki-kun? And that hair…It couldn’t be!
“Kabukichoumesugurohyoumonchou!”
“In the flesh.” And, yep, there was that familiar smirk. It was him, all right.
“But how? We defeated you twice, didn’t we? What sort of villain comes back for a third round?”
Kabukichoumesugurohyoumonchou gave a carefree shrug as he placed an arm on Nobuo’s shoulder, further closing the distance between them.
“Beats me,” he said. “But I’m not here to fight; no, I’m just here for a good time. Speaking of which, I was hoping you’d come with me to the school formal and—“
Judging from the squees emanating from all the girls around them, such an answer might have been even better than if any of them had been asked instead. The girls closed in, their cheers drowning any “no!” that might have been on his lips until—
KABE-DON
Just like that, he was pushed up against an office wall. Or, perhaps an elevator lobby wall was more precise, given how he could make out the frames of two elevators on either side of him. Either way, he found himself staring up at Kabukichoumesugurohyoumonchou who was smirking back down at him.
In his suit character form. While wearing a suit. There was probably a pun to have there.
Or at least, Nobuo assumed the expression on Kabukichoumesugurohyoumonchou's face was a smirk; one had to guess with suit characters, after all.
Maybe it was more of a lusty look actually. With hungry eyes waiting to devour.
Or maybe something a little more like what Black Condor would have pulled on a girl that caught his eye.
Either way, Kabukichoumesugurohyoumonchou’s monstrous form looked awfully good in that crisply tailored suit. (But what had happened to the gakuran?)
And—wait! What was he doing? This was no time to be considering the facial expressions and wardrobe choices of handsome suit characters! This was time to escape!
He let his hand scrabble against the wall until it came in contact with a button panel, and smashed the down button repeatedly.
“Oh, we’ll be going down all right….” Kabukichoumesugurohyoumonchou purred, reaching to pull him forward by his red tie. (Oh look, his gakuran had also been replaced by a suit.)
And yeah, okay, that was definitely a smirk after all.
He closed his eyes, not wanting to face the ever-diminishing distance between them, and—
Nobuo found himself against a soft surface. Definitely not an office elevator or even an office floor, but something far more luxurious and plush. Opening his eyes, he found himself on a bed of red satin and rose petals, being bathed in soft mood lighting. He could swear he heard saxophone music playing.
And there was Kabukichoumesugurohyoumonchou, human once again, now dressed in strappy leather pants and an open leather jacket.
“A love hotel, huh?” he mused, almost licking his lips as he made his way onto the bed, climbing right on top of Nobuo (how could he even move in pants that tight? Let alone crawl like an unsettlingly sexy kitty-cat?) “I suppose that’s a fitting next step. What a perfect place for me to take you to paradise.”
Nobuo felt a hand run up his thigh through his own pants (still the suit pants from earlier, though it appeared the jacket was gone?) and heard his voice rise up an octave as he tried to utter some sort of complaint. “What—I don’t—but how–I’m not sure I’m ready for—“
“Don’t worry about a thing,” Kabukichoumesugurohyoumonchou purred. “All you have to do is lay back and enjoy.”
He thought he heard a squee as his mind just blanked out, and everything faded to black.
Nobuo blinked open his eyes.
This wasn’t a love hotel.
This wasn’t a high school.
This wasn’t even some nondescript elevator lobby.
No, this was Café Himitsukichi, and Kabukichoumesugurohyoumonchou was nowhere in sight. Moegi was there, however, with an absolutely awe-struck expression on her face.
“Ah, Akagi-san! Wasn’t that the most splendid delusion? I knew you two had potential, but I never imagined that level of chemistry. It’s so—“
“Wait.” Slowly, this was all making sense. “So that all was your delusion?”
“Of course!” Moegi replied, a grin on her face. “I’m honestly surprised at you for being surprised by that. Have you not been paying attention this whole time we’ve been unofficial sentai? I mean, I know you can get carried away with the entire sentai-ish-ness after all, but even you need to be aware of other people’s interests, and—“
“I was nearly trampled by a bunch of girls! And cornered in an elevator! And—and—” He made a high pitched noise and hand gesture, unable to put words to the rest of it. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
“Thanks for the meal.”
Nobuo just buried his head in his hands and groaned.
Maybe next time, he’d be lucky enough to be trapped in a delusion with Sayaka instead.