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A lie detector. A toy lie detector.
A fucking child’s toy and it’s gonna be his undoing. Expose him in the worst ways possible, live on stream. Oh and Ted too, fuck that guy.
Fucking Ted, man, asking all of these personal fucking questions that Schlatt would rather the answers stay private. He didn’t wanna keep doing this!
And then Ted went too far.
“Are you happy?”
Fuck. What kind of question was that? Why would he ask that on stream?
“Yeah, I’m happy. I, I’ve got a big fan base, good fans, my first stream is going well…”
“So yes?”
“Yeah.”
“Alrighty, we’re gonna find out!” Ted grinned. He was having way too much fun with this. Good thing one of them was, Schlatt thought, as his mind flooded with thoughts of the YouTube algorithm fucking him over, and all the comments with his name in quotation marks, and all the sleepless nights wondering if he really was just “schlatt”, nothing more than a face, a persona for the internet’s enjoyment.
The lie detector calibrated, and Schlatt prayed to whoever was listening for it to just say positive.
Are you there, God? It’s me, Schlatt. I need you to help me lie.
And then there was a sharp pain in the palm of his hand, and it buzzed at him. He yelped, and jerked his hand away, and Ted was silent beside him.
What does he say, how can he cover that up?
No, he wasn’t fucking happy, Ted knew this, they’d talked about it a couple times on late night discord calls, why the fuck would he ask that? Just to see him fail?
Schlatt put his head on his desk for a moment to cool his face down. He’s live, he has to remember. He’s streaming, there are several thousand people watching. Tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of people watching him right now, he couldn’t edit this out, he had to collect himself.
“Can we do something else? I don’t wanna do this anymore,” Schlatt said, breaking the silence. He needed to distract himself. How. How to do that quickly.
Connor.
“Is Connor here? We should get Connor in here.”
“Yeah he’s here. Hey Connor!” Ted called, at the same time Schlatt mumbled something about how Connor will make him happy.
Connor always knew what to do to help him, he was great like that. He missed living with the man, to be honest. Connor didn’t ask bullshit personal questions while live on stream with a fucking lie detector, Ted .
They pulled some bit out of their ass with Connor getting on top of the Tiger and putting the cat mask on, which was fucking hilarious, and Schlatt felt a bit better.
Then Connor left and Ted pulled out the lie detector for one last question.
“Are you really gay?”
Oh fuck. God if you’re listening, fucking please , do him a solid.