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If Gou say he never feel jealous of a certain trainer that was also a research buddy like him, then that was a big fat lie.
He really jealous of Ash Ketchum.
That guy that casually hugged one of Lugia's fins and commented how warm it felt rather than shouting in disbelief like Gou, who in disbelief he was riding the Legendary Pokémon.
Or how Raboot never ignored Ash. Always replied back any of Ash's questions or words when it was directed to him with a simple wave. But when it came to Gou, the rabbit ignored him completely.
Or how Ash was to Sobble. The water lizard Pokémon loved it, Gou can see by the looks on her face when the boy from Pallet Town cradled her gingerly in his arms. How Ash have the enough patience to calm her whenever she have her 'flooding eyes' moment.
Gou wished he could be like Ash. A freaking prodigy in battle.
Gou knew he was still new with Pokémon battle when Raboot was still a Scorbunny. But the direct fact that he had lost in less than ten minutes hurt him. While Ash straightforwardly beat up his opponent with Mimey and Pikachu.
Did Gou ever tell about how Ash managed to sent shock to the whole laboratory?
It was started when Prof Cerise asked Prof Oak about Ash's trainer record. That time, Ash was visiting his parents and not in the laboratory for the moment. Prof Oak explained all about Ash's experience and journeys, and the fact about Ash had gone to six regions including Kanto had a bit made them surprised. But Prof Cerise thought his mentor was just joking around because Ash was sixteen year old and only two years younger than Gou.
That until Prof Oak send all Ash's trainer record.
It was freaking astounding.
He—Ash had beaten all the Brain Frontier in their region — don't get him wrong he knew from the start Ash had this vibe of a strong trainer — but beaten Articuno and Regice?!
Those two legendaries Pokémon?!
And all of those leagues from Kanto to Alola? He was the first Alola Champion — had been offered to be one of the Brain Frontier but rejected it — the runner up in the Lumiose Conference — top four in the Sinnoh League but that because his opponent used two legendary Pokémon and Ash beat his Darkrai — Ash's first ever league but he get to above twenty ranks?!
It was insane!
If Gou ever compared himself to Ash, then he admit, there were obvious differences. The way Ash could easily dancing around while befriended lots of people. He easily be comfortable in the battle arena with his team — especially Pikachu.
It will be a lie if Gou say he wasn't jealous.
"Hey Ash," Gou called over the dinner table.
Ash was sitting at the opposite of him, stuffing his face with dinner that was prepared by Prof Cerise and his assistants. Pikachu and Raboot were enjoying theirs on the floor, munching in quiet peace.
"Yeah?"
"How do you be you?"
The latter halted from eating, looking at Gou with unreadable expression "Pardon?"
Gou realized what he just said immediately tried to denied it with his stumbling words "No—nothing—," he spoked clumsily "I was just talking to myself?"
"That sound more like a question."
Gou take a deep sharp breath, mentally cursed himself. He adverted his gaze refusing to look at the older trainer.
"Gou," a word from Ash "How do you be you?" he parroted back.
The younger boy didn't say anything. Hands gripped onto his pants as he tried to think for an excuse. But he could find was none.
On the other hand, Ash was watching him with calculate gaze. Caramel keen eyes staring at the other.
"Gou, do you hate yourself?"
The said boy moved his head to faced Ash with transparent shock "What?"
"Do you hate yourself?" he calmly repeated.
"No—of course not!"
"Then why do you want to be me?"
Breaths hitched, Gou looked at Ash with another surprise emotion. He tried to distinguish whatever was in the older's mind, but he couldn't.
"Gou...," Ash spoked once more, gentler and encouraging "Is there something wrong?"
And do Gou ever tell how he was so jealous Ash can say something with such gentle and kind face?
"....," he paused, before finally responded with head shakes.
Ash sighed, but didn't show disappointment. He stand up from his seat and lifted his plate, utensils and glass "Just so you know," out of the blue he said, in addition making Gou subconsciously snapped his head toward him.
Ash was looking at him with a sincere, gentlest smile Gou have ever seen other than his parents. It make his heart felt content and his stomach filled with unspeakable warmth.
"I'm proud of you."
The fist clenched on Gou's pants tightened.
"Even if I never accomplish anything?"
"Bravely working your way to your dream even people said it was impossible was something more than accomplishment, Gou. Only you courage enough to have desire catching Mew."
The fist relaxed, slowly unclenching his wrinkled pants.
"...really?"
Ash chuckled, and it felt like there was a light lighting in him again.
"Too really, buddy. Too really," he said, spun on his heels and walked to the kitchen. Mimey gleefully accepted it and right away washed all the dirty dishes, while Ash helped by drying it.
Gou really felt jealous of Ash.
But he was glad nonetheless that Ash was his friend.