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They were lying in Kanan’s bunk after a long day. It was certainly a tight fit. The Ghost bunks were made to barely fit one person comfortably. But this was all fairly new for them, so any inconvenience was overshadowed by excitement. Maybe they would feel the need to stretch out one day, but the novelty of having a good excuse to be even closer together wasn’t wearing off quickly. Kanan was on his back, his shoulder nearly brushing the wall in the cramped space. Hera was on her side, her head resting on his chest. One leg was bent at the knee and hitched across him while the other stretched out, her foot tangling with his ankle. She had wedged an arm under his body, which was surely going to fall asleep any minute now. The other was reaching up so her hand could play with the loose hair falling over his shoulders. He had an arm around her waist, holding her against his side as his other hand absentmindedly drew circles on her pulled up knee. Neither one of them was asleep yet, but they were both exhausted. Kept awake by the desire to enjoy the comforts of twiddling with the other’s body for a few more minutes before drifting off.
Kanan squeezed her hip. “You know, for someone who acts like she is completely above wanting physical touch, you sure like to be pretty close,” he remarked due to their tangled up position.
“I can move farther away,” she teased and pulled her arm out from under him and wriggled out of his embrace. She used her now free arm to brace herself against the bunk and raise herself above him.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he laughed.
In one quick movement, he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her fully on top of him.
Hera gasped slightly before settling on his chest, which made him smirk, always excited to be the one to catch her off guard.
“See?” she huffed, but there was a small small on her lips revealing her true feelings, “You don’t seem to be too bothered by it.”
He arched his neck up a little bit so he could place a quick kiss on her cheek. “Hera, I told you years ago, you can have anything you want from me. I’m not complaining.”
“I distinctly remember you saying that under much different circumstances,” she spoke as she rearranged herself on top of his chest. She folded her arms under her and propped her chin on the back of her stacked hands so she could look at his face.
“Cuddling, practically pickpocketing me…” he joked about their meeting on Gorse when she flirted with him just to take his Moonglow pass and he was clearly too enthralled with her to notice, “Eh, not that different. Either works for me.”
“You were very easy to pickpocket, dear. Can you blame me?”
He chuckled at that, “Can you blame me? I was a little distracted by the very attractive person running their hand along my neck.”
She tsked at him and shook her head slightly, feigning disapproval. “How many times have I told you that focus is needed for a successful mission?”
He was having a little difficulty focusing again, seeing as she had released one of her hands from under her chin and had now slipped a finger under the collar of his shirt just like she did back when he was just a random guy on Gorse who could get her into where she wanted to go.
“It’s not like I had any sort of missions back then,” he pointed out.
“No, you had missions, just very different ones.” She didn’t stop tracing his collarbone.
“Oh, really?” He raised his eyebrows. “Please enlighten me, because from my memory I was much too bored and much too drunk to be focused on any goals.”
“You were pretty focused on getting me into bed with you.”
He rolled his eyes at that, “Look, it's not like I’m proud of all of that.”
“And it’s not like I’m wrong,” she taunted.
“Hey, don’t put down my tactics so quickly,” he lowered his voice to a sultry tone, “It worked didn’t it?”
She scolded him, but her heart wasn’t in it, “You certainly were playing quite the inefficient long game then, if that was your goal this whole time.”
“It wasn’t, you know that,” he reminded her, some seriousness slipping into his voice. He didn’t want her thinking that he had only worked with her this whole time just to get something physical out of it. He figured it was obvious by now, but still. He was a piece of work when they met.
“I know,” she responded genuinely. She had switched to running her finger along the length of his jaw. “Besides, I would’ve kicked you out if I thought so.”
“Are you going to kick me out now?” he faked a pout, eyes wide.
“No, you’re very useful,” she told him, now tracing the length of his nose. “You make a very good pillow.”
She punctuated the last of her words with a little boop on the tip of his nose.
“Glad I could be of service somehow, Captain. It’s not like I can fix things or fight or cook or…”
“Yeah, yeah we get it,” she waved a hand over his face.
They fell into comfortable silence once again.
Hera started aimlessly drawing patterns over his cheek, the tip of her nail just barely connecting with his skin. She let her head drop against his shoulder, turning so that she could watch where her hand was playing. His hands left their spot on her hips and slipped under the edges of her shirt. Well, under his shirt that she happened to be wearing. The touch wasn’t suggestive, just comforting strokes on her lower back.
She whispered, almost hesitantly, “I like this.”
The corners of his mouth twitched up to form a small smile. This small admission was more vulnerable than Hera usually dared to be with her emotions.
“Me too,” he breathed, “To be honest, I’m a little surprised you do.”
Her face scrunched up at that, “What do you mean?”
He paused to think over his words. “You seem like someone who wants their space, in every type of way. Not the type to even casually hold hands or sit close to somebody. Yet when you do get close, you seem to make it your goal to be impossibly tangled up with me.
She didn’t respond right away. When she finally did, her voice was almost sad, “Gotta compensate somehow. Besides, it’s not like I really had the time for casually holding hands.”
He sighed, “I know. I know. The rebellion takes top priority.”
She frowned and her hand stilled above his face. “Even before that, I got used to being alone.”
“But, I thought you got involved with rebel stuff as soon as you left home.”
“I did. But, before that...I mean after my mother died…,” she took a strained breath. It wasn’t often Hera talked about her mother. “...and it's not like Cham Syndulla, liberator of Ryloth,” she said the title with mock awe, “was really giving out a lot of hugs after that.”
“Hera,” his voice was caught in his throat as he spoke her name, not sure how best to comfort her. He settled on wrapping his arms fully around her and squeezing. There, one hug to try to make up for all the ones she should have gotten from her father. The ones her mother never got to give her. He knew it wouldn’t actually make up for it, but he wasn’t about to let her miss out on anymore. If she wanted to wedge her body against his, twist her legs around him, lay on him until every one of his limbs went stiff and numb, he would let her. Even if it never went further again. If it never went there again. Sure, he was very into those things as well. But there were no ulterior motives for him here. Whatever she wanted from him she could have. And whatever she didn’t want, he didn’t need to receive.
“It’s okay,” she told him softly.
“No, it’s not.”
He pulled one of his arms out from its spot under her shirt and found her hand where it rested on his cheek. He intertwined her fingers with his and pulled it to his lips, brushing an extremely light kiss across her knuckle.
She flushed a little at the delicate touch, which didn’t make a whole lot of sense considering their current position and all the ones they had previously found themselves in. She gave him a soft smile, “It seems pretty okay right now.”
He knew he didn’t fix anything, but he hoped he made at least a small dent in something. He smiled back, “Then consider me your human pillow, anytime. That’s my new most important job on the Ghost.”
“Don’t get your hopes up. You aren’t getting out of any repairs”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Captain,” he laughed.
She dropped her Captain Syndulla voice, “That’s tomorrow though, Kanan.”
“Yeah,” he asked, “and right now?”
“Right now I don’t really care if the dorsal turret has been sticking,” she admitted.
“Who’s the one distracted now?” he teased.
“Oh, hush. Just let me enjoy this.”
“Like I said, anytime.”
Hera tucked her head into the crook of his neck and closed her eyes. She brushed a chaste kiss against his skin then found a way to pull their clasped hands against her.
After a few seconds of just staring down at her in awe and a little concern, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
Closing his own eyes, he repeated it again, this time a faint whisper, “Anytime, Hera.”