Chapter Text
It’s been six months. Six, wonderful, joy-filled months, since Billy and Cole have considered themselves completely free. Six months since they’ve started a new life, one where they leave the pain and misfortunes of the past behind. No more worries, no more fear, no more anything bad. Just them, together, nothing holding them back, not anymore.
It’s hard to believe, that it’s been so long since they’ve been together. Over a year, to be exact. Perhaps it was the happiest year of Billy’s life, and Cole’s as well, even though there would be plenty more to come. That was how they planned it. And a lot of things they planned, worked out, well enough, as did some things they didn’t plan. Like, falling in love, for example.
It’s almost as if it were yesterday, when Billy was a stupid boy who had no clue what he wanted, when he was staring at the ceiling of his room, over-thinking, jealous, when he realized what he felt for Cole was much more than just friendship, and that it was never hate. He still isn’t quite sure when those feelings started, whether it be when they first met (although he did not show it then, his only regret, the last one he has ever had) or after they became friends, maybe one day when they were alone in the old clubhouse, when Cole would look up and smile at him and Billy’s heart would just melt.
Either way, it happened, and Billy is glad he acted on them, his feelings. He was no longer a foolish, immature boy who made the wrong decisions all the time. And while he did make mistakes sometimes, he knew exactly what he wanted and he knew how to behave, he was a man now. It just goes to show how much Cole has changed him, how Cole showed him that he didn’t have to be the way he was, how Cole showed him that he could be so much more. If it weren’t for that, they wouldn’t be here now, they wouldn’t be this happy.
Because they are, they are happy. Things are not perfect, they never have been and they never will be, but they are close enough. Their days and nights are full of showing every ounce of love and affection they feel towards the other, and neither would have it any other way.
It took some time to adjust to their new life, the first few nights in particular were the toughest. Billy was beyond relieved to get away from Avonlea, from his father and his dreaded obligation to marry someone he didn’t love, but he was afraid it wasn’t real, it wouldn’t last, it was a dream. It was only Cole that took him into his arms when he was shaking (only Cole could comfort him like that, and vice versa), reassured him that he was here, they were here, and they were fine. They could be free now, they could be happy.
And it was long before Billy believed him, before he accepted that it was true, they were free, they were together. He had nothing to worry about, no reason to be afraid. And for that, Billy was grateful every day, which he made sure to express to Josephine for allowing them to stay with her, although she insisted she was glad to do so.
Of course, there were more changes that had to be made. Neither Billy or Cole could sit around all day and do nothing (and, Billy wanted to have some money on hand, just in case, and they most likely wouldn’t stay here forever), so Billy searched for a job while Josephine enrolled Cole in an art school. Eventually, Billy found a place in the railroad industry, where all he had to do was build and re-build, it didn’t require being smart, which he could admit he wasn’t, very.
That meant Billy was out of the house for a lot of the day, but not every day, which also meant him and Cole got less time together. However, that made it all the more better when Billy came home, and was greeted by having Cole in his arms. Or, waking up together, exchanging sleepy kisses in between lazy cuddles. And, falling asleep together, sleeping beside each other, in each other’s arms, warm and safe and content. Getting to spend their free days together, doing what ever it was that they desired.
There’s no regrets, none so far, and there is no thoughts of having them any time soon. Not when both of them are so happy with their lives, and don’t want anything to change, not with them. Others may question them, may say their feelings are wrong, may say they shouldn’t be doing what they’re doing, living the way they’re living, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Because how can something be wrong with a life, if it’s spent with the one you love?
Before, Billy thought that love was petty, simple things. He was taught that he was to find a wife of high status, rich and pretty and proper. Never mind the truth and sincerity of your feelings, the only thing that mattered when it came to choosing who he’d spend the rest of his life with. It was all worthless things, and that’s how Billy once believed love to be.
With Cole, he learned so much. Love is understanding, forgiveness, compassion, and everything in between. Love is bettering yourself for someone, because they made you want to be good. Love is forgiving someone for their mistakes, if they show they’re worthy of changing. Love is taking the time to learn every single thing about someone, just so you know them, so you know what makes them happy. Love is becoming what makes them happy. Love is what you do in your actions, not just kisses or touches, but in what you do to prove your feelings. Love is wanting to be with someone so much that you face your worst fears and leave the past behind to be with them. Love is being equals, as much as two people can be. Love is making someone your home, someone you’d be happy to stay with for the rest of your life.
And all of that, they did, they are. They’ve given themselves to each other fully and completely, in every way possible. They are as how two married people should be, loving each other devotedly and faithfully.
The only problem is, they can’t truly be married, at least not legally. That’s the only downside of them being together, they have all the happiness in the world with each other, but they can’t get married because the law insists that it’s wrong, the way they are, and it wasn’t fair, not in the slightest. Well, Billy was awfully close to being bound to someone he didn’t want to be with, and it angers him that he can’t marry the only person he loves, and will ever love.
And as time passes, Billy only wants to marry Cole impossibly more. Every vow he was to make to Josie at the alter, is what he means to say towards Cole. Cole is the one for him, the love of his life, his only true love, and there is no concern or doubt left in Billy’s mind. He was mostly alright with the way things were now, just being lovers, but as of late, the thought has been prying at his mind and not letting up.
Billy was never one for following rules, but this was one that he couldn’t break (could he?). Him and Cole had done things that only married people were to do (including being intimate, as they had for the first time not long after they first moved, and they’d both loved every minute of it), and yet they couldn’t be. Billy would be satisfied if he could just propose, like everyone else does, but he couldn’t do that either.
Or at least, he thought he could not, until it came up in a conversation between him and Josephine the other day. He expressed his sorrows to her (and now, didn’t feel like a fool for doing so), and she told him that he could propose, if he wanted to, and if Cole accepted, they could have a ceremony and that way it would feel like they were married and they would be, in every way but having papers filed at the court and making it obvious to the public, which seemed stupid anyways. They were already breaking the law (the law was wrong, their love wasn’t), they could do this in secret as well.
No, they could be married in their own way, which meant they could do whatever their hearts desired to really feel that way. Which, was nice to know.
So when Billy comes home the day before Josephine’s party to celebrate the New Year (and, the new century), all he feels is elated, because he knew what to do.
He goes through the usual routine of coming into the house, greeting Rollings and Aunt Jo, before heading upstairs to where he knows Cole awaits him. When he enters their shared bedroom, Cole is lounging on the couch placed towards the center of their room, sketching away.
Billy’s heart immediately warms at the sight of him, grinning to himself at how lucky he is, to be able to call someone as wonderful and perfect as Cole his. His lover, his partner, his everything.
“Hey, honey.” Billy quickly kisses the top of Cole’s head as he walks by, going to the coatrack to remove his outerwear.
“Hey.” Cole glances up from his sketchbook and to Billy, lightly smiling at seeing him, as he always is. He supposes that’s how it is, when you’re in love. “How was work?” He asks, like he usually does.
And, the answer usually varies. Billy’s made a few friends who work along the railroad with him, most his age or slightly older. Some already have wives, or families of their own. They carry pictures of their significant others in their wallets, same as Billy does. Aunt Jo had their photos made, and Billy carries around a tiny picture of Cole in his wallet, holding it there as Cole holds a special place in his heart.
And they always ask Billy; have you a wife? Children? Fortunes, at least? The answer is always the same; he has none, but he has all he needs. He needs nothing but Cole.
Yet, it’s still annoying sometimes, being asked that and knowing he can’t give them the answer he wants. If he could (perhaps he can on his own, but never by the law, although it means nothing to him), he’d call Cole his husband. As for children, well, it’s more than likely not possible, but that was something to think about sometime in the way, very far off, deep future.
“Tiring.” Billy answers as he takes off his hat and vest, before proceeding to come back around to where Cole is and place his hands on his shoulders. “At least I’m back with you now. It’s what I look forward to.” Billy caresses one of Cole’s cheek, gently, and places a soft kiss on the other, breaking away only to smile at his love. Cole warmly smiles back, gazing at Billy as if he were the world. “I also look forward to being in bed.” With that, Billy gets up, and flops down on their bed (he loves calling it that), and stares up at the ceiling.
“Understandable.” Cole chuckles, shaking his head because the sun has barely set, they haven’t even had dinner yet. Then again, if Billy requests his presence next to him, Cole would not deny him.
Billy sighs, propping himself up on one elbow, glancing at Cole from his side of the room. He admires him from here, his beauty. Cole is the loveliest thing he’s ever laid eyes on, and Billy wants him closer, in his arms, all the time.
“Come lay with me.” He requests, holding out his arms. Cole complies, standing up from the couch and setting his sketchbook to the side, getting up and crawling next to Billy.
Billy doesn’t hesitate to pull Cole into his arms, one hand on the small of his back and the other on the back of his neck, cradling him to his chest and placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. Cole snuggles closer to him, burying his face into Billy’s neck, planting a kiss onto the sensitive skin there.
As Cole settles into his arms, comfortable as they always are, Billy takes a moment to think about how far they’ve come. He used to be such a punk, they used to despise each other, and with a change of heart and apology, a friendship formed, a friendship that turned into more. And more, turned into the best thing Billy’s ever had. The source of his happiness, what made him become better.
It was so long ago when he was scared to be who he was, scared to feel a certain way towards Cole. And then, he wasn’t, Cole showed him how great life would be if he would just let it, if he fixed things, and he did. Then, they fell in love, but they were forced to keep it a secret. They snuck away at school or on the weekend, hugging and kissing in the back room of the schoolhouse or in the clubhouse, things were amazing with the two of them. They were happy, but they could be more.
It all came crashing down when Billy’s father announced his engagement to Josie, and Billy thought he lost Cole for good. It hurt more than anything he had ever felt in his entire life, and he was still grateful that Cole loved him enough, trusted him enough, to come back for him, to run away with him. To leave their past behind for a new life together.
Now, they were free. Here, they could do what they wanted, be what they wanted, and no one could separate them ever again. They’re happy, they both are, and Billy couldn’t ask for anything better. He’ll spend the rest of his life with Cole, he swears.
With that thought, he gives Cole’s body a firm squeeze impossibly closer to him, because he can say with all honesty, he’s never letting him go again. Never.
Cole, as always, reads his mind, tilting his head up to meet Billy’s eyes. A smile spreads across his pretty face as he strokes his hand across Billy’s face. Billy grins back at him, nuzzling into Cole’s hair, keeping him close.
“I can’t believe how much I miss you when you’re not here.” Cole says out of nowhere, his words coming straight from his heart. It’s only hours and yet, Cole always misses him. His touch, his face, his smile, his everything.
“Oh, I know you do.” Billy teases, although he feels the exact same way. Sometimes, all he thinks about is Cole, and how much he enjoys being with him.
“You and your ego.” Cole playfully rolls his eyes. Billy laughs, combing a hand through Cole’s hair, loving the softness of it. He just loves Cole, all of him.
“I miss you too, you know.” Billy kisses Cole’s hand, staring into his eyes while he does so, a faint blush forming on Cole’s cheeks. “I miss your face, your lips, your smile.” Billy kisses Cole’s forehead, the tip of his nose, his cheek, his other cheek, causing Cole to giggle from the display of affection, one that he craves. “I miss doing this.” Billy kisses Cole’s lips then, finally. It’s a kiss full of passion, as it always is, never has a kiss between them been devoid of it.
This kiss won’t turn into more, despite them being in bed together with all of the privacy in the world, this is just one of many ways for Billy to express his emotions to Cole. Things such as that will wait, because they had time. They always had time.
The two break apart after a moment, and Billy’s tempted to kiss Cole again, because he can never get enough of him. Their kisses were always full of magic, that’s how it was when you kiss someone you truly love.
It’s silent for a short period time after that, Cole resting against Billy’s shoulder while Billy absent-mindedly traces shapes on his back, enjoying Cole’s warmth and comfort.
Cole thinks of the party tomorrow, and the last one he attended here. Things were a lot different than they were now, that was for sure and certain. Last time, him and Josephine spoke of her Gertrude, and the love they shared. And now, Cole found that person, the love of his life, the only one with whom he didn’t have to hide. Billy went from someone he hated to the one he loves the most, because he changed, he showed Cole he could be better. And Cole is glad to call him his, glad to be able to dance with him, to kiss him, to be with him in front of everyone else.
Because they could, they could be themselves. They’ve shared dances as well as kisses in private, but it could be like that in public for once.
“I’m excited for the party tomorrow. We’ll be able to dance together.” Cole remarks, unable to resist making a joke about Billy’s terrible dancing. Although, when Billy holds him close and tight, it doesn’t matter much. “Nevermind. How unfortunate.” Cole chuckles to himself as Billy scoffs and hits him with a pillow, tugging him back into his arms right after, because he can’t just have him not in his arms.
But, no matter how much Billy is insulted by everyone for his godawful dancing, he won’t care. Tomorrow was to be indescribable, with what he had planned, and Cole had no idea, none at all.
“What ever do you mean? I’m amazing at dancing.” Billy smirks, knowing he’s lying. No matter, he’s still going to hold Cole close and dance with him for the entire night, despite his teasing.
“Who lied and told you that?” Cole shoots back, smugly. Billy can’t help but laugh, pretending to be offended. Cole can say what he wants, he still won’t stop Billy from showing his affections.
“Hey, complain all you want, but you can’t escape me, Cole.” Billy says just that, brushing his lips against Cole’s forehead once more. Cole leans into Billy’s touch, melting into it.
“And why would I ever want to escape you?” Cole questions, a rhetorical one, because they both know the exact reason why. “I love you too much for that.” He confesses, even though he’s sure Billy already knew.
And yes, Billy already knew, but that doesn’t make hearing it any less welcome, any less sweet. Hearing those words from Cole mean so much to him, for he loves and values him more than anything or anyone else. And for Cole, it’s the same. He’s so happy that they can do this, be this now, be free.
“I love you more.” Billy responds, lifting Cole’s chin up to peck his lips. “You’re the best, you know.” He mumbles, the full truth in his words. Because yes, Cole is the best, he has all of his love.
Their life was one of no regrets, one worth living. At first, Billy had no plans for the future, all he knew was that he wanted Cole in it. Now, he didn’t have quite everything figured out, but his life had direction, he was happy. He was with Cole, the love of his life, and that was all that mattered to him.
And he wanted to keep it that way, for the rest of his life, in every way he could.