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Castiel wandered into the bunker's kitchen, not that he'd actually been asleep, he'd been patrolling the halls as usual, it had sounded like someone was up so Castiel had gone to keep them company, it was Sam, he was opening the fridge, looking to eat what Dean would probably call "rabbit food",
"Hi Cas", Sam said when he noticed him sit at the table,
"hello Sam"
"sleep alright?"
"need I remind you that I don't sleep, Sam?"
"right, sorry", Castiel never was good with small talk, he often felt guilty for making things awkward between him and the Winchesters, so he attempted to shift the conversation topic,
"do you have a case for us? we haven't gone hunting together in awhile and I will admit, I'm starting to miss it", Sam smiled at that, Castiel wasn't sure what was so funny about wanting to go hunting together with Sam and Dean, but maybe Sam was happy that he wanted to go hunting?
"not yet, but I agree, I'll try find one after breakfast"
"I could look, you don't have to", Castiel said, he didn't want to make Sam think he was in a hurry, but he still wasn't very good with computers so he doubted he would be much help.
"no, no Cas it's fine"
Dean entered the kitchen a few moments later, ceasing whatever conversation Sam and Castiel might be able to continue, Dean sneered at Sam when he saw his food and made some snarky comment about it, Sam soon after finished it and went to the library where he started looking for a case, Castiel followed him and then Dean join later when he finished his food,
"I think I have found us a Case" Sam said after a while,
"yeah?" Dean replied
"yes, it's what appears to be a witch in Illinois, look at this, a lady died after "her pores opened and her blood drained out of them" the official cause of death is blood loss, it certainly sounds like she was hexed"
"alright then, sounds nice and simple, be ready in 10?" Dean said, walking off to his room to get whatever supplies they needed.
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The Impala pulled up right outside St James hospital, turns out the victim was a nurse, Sam and Dean got out, wearing their usual FBI suits, soon followed by Castiel, who had never really understood why humans needed to dress a certain way for a job or why people seemed to respect you more if you dressed "smartly", but he went along with it anyway, he had learnt that his usual trench coat made people think more often than not, that he was some sort of tax accountant, he could never see why, Jimmy wasn't one as far as he could remember.
They walked through the halls of the hospital, there were machines beeping everywhere and it smelt like many chemicals, they were all much too pungent for Castiel's angelic nose but he didn't let it show, they showed their badges to anyone who looked like they might question their presence,
"hello there, I'm agent agent Richard, these are my partners, Tyler and John" Dean said pointing to Castiel and Sam,
"nice to meet you, I'm sheriff Bills, I hope you don't mind me asking but why's the FBI interested in a small case like this?" the man said, he was bald headed but he don't look very old,
"Ah well, we were just in the area and thought it was our duty to come, help out" Dean said, using his usual charms,
"oh? you think we need help?" Sheriff Bills said, but there was no malice behind his words, making Castiel think he was joking,
"so, what can you tell us about this case then Sheriff?" Sam asked,
"ah, well, the victim's name was Sarah Black, she was a doctor here at the hospital, apparently she just suddenly rushed to the bathroom and when she didn't come back for a while they went to check on her and found her like this", Castiel was now increasingly aware that they were in the women's restroom, he'd never been in one before, not that he went in men's ones often but apparently it was socially unacceptable for him to go into the women's' , not that Castiel really understood the concept of gender beyond those who could give birth and who couldn't, he usually just went by whatever his vessel was when it came to pronouns.
"Is there anyone related to the victim who would be worth talking to?" Castiel asked, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to but wouldn't it be weird if he didn't talk?
"err... well, the closest person she has round here, would be her girlfriend, I can give you her address, but she will most likely be very distressed"
"of course" Castiel nodded
The Sheriff gave them her address and they walked back to the Impala, Dean complimented him on his "people skills" and said he didn't totally stand out, so Castiel would call that progress, he didn't like standing out.
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"hello?" Dean called as he knocked on the door of the address, apparently the girlfriend's name was Alexis Johnson, she and Sarah had been living together for a while but the Sheriff couldn't tell them how long, it may have been a "small world here, but I'm not that up to date with all the gossip" he had said, whatever that meant, Sam and Dean seemed to have understood it.
"hello?", a young lady answered the door, Alexis presumably, she was blonde and her hair was messy, her eyes were puffy and red, she'd obviously been crying, which was understandable considering her situation.
"we're FBI, here to ask you a few questions about Sarah Black"
"oh, of course come in" she said making a gesture with her hands that suggested she wanted them to come inside,
As they entered the house a tall man with black messy hair came down the stairs loudly, he didn't even acknowledge them, he just walked straight through them, bumping Dean and Castiel as he went passed, Dean gave Alexis a questioning look,
"that's Jake, he is or was, Sarah's brother, he's probably still pretty stressed, he wasn't very close to her though, I know more about her than him, and you know, if I'm honest, I was never very sure why she let him stay here, but he will get this house now, so I guess that's a bonus for him" She said slightly mocking him at the end,
"Why would he get the house?" Sam asked,
"I'm gonna be moving back in with my parents, can't stand the place anymore, your actually lucky you caught me now, I'll be heading up there later today" she said gesturing to a pile of boxes that were presumably hers.
They all walked into the living room and sat down on her beige sofa,
"do you mind if I use the restroom a minute?" Sam asked, he was actually going to get check for witch activity, Castiel wasn't really sure why, why would Alexis want to ever kill Sarah? he really would never understand humans.
"yeah sure, it's upstairs on the left",
"so Miss Johnson-"
"Alexis is fine"
"Okay, Alexis, I'm just gonna ask you a few questions, what do you know about Sarah Black?"
"well, she was my girlfriend of five years, she was just the sweetest... kindest, best person ever an-and I don't know what I'm gonna do without her" Alexis started crying and Dean handed her some tissues, Castiel sympathized a lot with Alexis, not that he'd ever lost the love of his life, but he had lost everything, his relationships with people, though that was his own fault and they weren't dead, he still knew the pain.
"The night she died, was there anything off about her?"
"w-what do you mean?"
"well, y'know did she act out of the ordinary or anything?"
"um... no not really..."
"Ok, last question, did she have any enemies?"
"you think this was a murder!?" Alexis said shocked,
"we're just looking at all the possibilities",
"ok, well if anyone had it out for her, it would be Jennifer, she's our neighbor, she always hated her and just us, she was the super religious type, y'know?"
"yeah, ok, thank you"
They got up and went to the door, Sam obviously heard and came down too, they walked back from the house thanking Alexis and going towards the house she kindly pointed out to them,
"Did you find anything Sammy?" Dean asked when they were out of hearing range,
"No, but I'm pretty sure they had an attic, I didn't really find anything suspicious though, but god, was Jake's room a mess!" Sam laughed,
"ok, well maybe we'll be able to break in tonight and have a look, what do you think Cas?"
"alright, ok, but I don't think it was Alexis, she seemed to genuine"
"yeah, I was thinking that too"
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The three of them arrived at Jenifer's house, Castiel wasn't looking forward to this, he hated super religious types and he was an angel of the lord, he ust didn't like people going round using God's word to spread hate.
They didn't even have to knock, as soon as they got to the door a short, grey haired woman opened it and looked at them annoyed,
"we're FBI agents, here to ask you about your connections to Sarah Black?" Sam asked
"and what's that satanic girl done?, I always knew she was trouble"
"er... she was killed last night" said Sam, already unhappy with the conversation,
"hm... she had it coming, I told her! I warned her! God would strike down on her for her sinful relationship!"
Castiel hated this woman, and he didn't hate many people, how could she be so rude? so wrong? it was infuriating, especially as an angel.
"and why do you think two women being together is sinful?",Castiel piped up, unable to keep his frustration contained, Sam and Dean looked at him, more with shock than anything else
"because God said so, haven't you read the Bible?"
"of course I've read the Bible, I've read it in Hebrew and many other languages and it doesn't, I would know"
"would you now?"
"yes, I rather think I would know more than you"
"do you attend church?"
"what? why's that relevant to my knowledge of the Bible?"
"are you, boy, a Christian?"
"no, I don't think I really have the right to classify myself with any religion, it's not meant for me like it is for you"
"well if your not Christian, how are you gonna claim to know what God wants?" the hypocrisy of this woman was astounding,
"you are a hypocrite!"Castiel said, voice boardering on a shout, he took a step forward as if he may actually hit this woman, not that he would, he just wanted to get his point across, but Dean grabbed him by the shoulder and they all walked a few feet away,
"what the hell was that man?", Dean said
"I-I'm sorry, I just don't like people like her, why can't she just let people be happy, that's what God would want, if he hadn't abandoned us!" Castiel sighed
"now, now Cas, you can't project your issues on this, we're professionals, and anyway, you know something she doesn't, you know it's real, you know she won't go to heaven with opinions like that, I'm sure, so calm down, we'll have to look around her house later",
"I am sorry, I didn't mean to mess it up"
"hey, don't beat yourself up about it, Bitches like that piss me off too," Dean reassured him.
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Later that night Castiel and the Winchesters broke into Jenifer's house, it was actually quite easy, turns out she slept deeply, Castiel wasn't surprised to find that she was not witch and just some crazy old lady.
Breaking into Alexis' house was a different story though, it wasn't the breaking into the actual house itself that was the problem, it was the getting into the attic that was hard, it seemed to be quite loud and that was the problem, maybe it was on purpose, Castiel couldn't be sure, but they got into attic eventually.
The attic was gloomy, the only light coming from their torches and the moon shining through the hole in the roof, as they looked around it became clear this was no normal attic, there were books everywhere and candles, as well as what appeared to be chicken bones on the floor, was Alexis the witch, no she couldn't be,
"what the hell?" Dean said
"stop!" an unfamiliar voice came, they all turned to the attic door but found no one there, only then to realize that the voice came from the other side of the room, from the other side of the alter, Castiel shone his torch and he revealed none other that Jake, Jake was the witch, he- he killed his sister, why?
"Why did you do it Jake?", Dean asked pointing his gun filled with witch killing bullets at him
"why'd I do it? why'd I do it! because I hated that bitch Alexis, she always thought I was so weird, she would always make rude comments about her, I was the butt of all her jokes, I hated it!"
"so you killed your sister!?"
"yeah, I wanted to cause her pain, both of them, why did they get to be happy not me, why did I have to be weird? at least now I'll get the house all to myself"
"That's it? you were teased a bit, so you destroyed their lives, Sarah didn't have to give you hospitality, but she did it anyway and you repay her by killing her!" Castiel said
"oh, you don't get it do you? I thought you might of understood a bit, I mean have you seen yourself, you remind me of myself, the way you stand and talk"
"I'm nothing like you!"
"what? your not a killer? you've got that look in your eyes, you've killed people, people close to you, maybe you killed your sister too? hm?"
"not so painfully and not because I wanted too!"
"but you still did it" he smirk, Castiel started to walk forward, if anyone was going to kill Jake it would be him, how dare he insult him like that!
But Castiel didn't end up getting very far, it seemed the talking was just a distraction, he had been preparing a spell the whole time, he threw it at the three of them and chanted someone words but Castiel couldn't hear them, his brain felt like it was being fried, like there was electricity in his veins, his world had gone black but he could still feel, something had changed in him, like his true form was adjusting inside his vessel, but not by choice, no it was more like it was being brought closer to earth, like someone was unplugging certain parts of him and God it hurt.
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Dean's head felt like it was swimming, all he remembered was Cas and Jake arguing and then Cas looked like he was going to attempt to kill him but Jake threw some sort of powdery spell at them and he passed out.
Dean's eyelids fluttered open, not taking well to the light in the room, how long had he been out? they were still in the attic but it was morning, Dean guessed Jake had probably done a runner and just left them, at least he hoped, he groggily sat up and when his eyes fully adjusted he could see Sam was doing the same, what about Cas? the guy seemed to have it out for him.
When Dean looked over to Cas he was glad he was still there but what was concerning was that he wasn't moving, with Sammy being awake at the same time as him, he guessed the spell had a time limit, but he was just lying there his chest rising and falling being the only sign of life, which he supposed was good.
"Cas?" he called
"Cas? Castiel!" he got up a crouched next to him shaking him gently
"Is he alright?" Sam asked
"I don't know!"
Sam came over and knelt beside him but nothing was working,
"he's not dead? is he?" Sam asked
"no, he can't be he's still breathing and there's no wings in the ground" he pointed out,
"what was the spell, maybe it was some sort of angel paralyses spell or something only affecting angels"
"I don't know, hey what's that?" Sam pointed out a red lump on his neck
"I'm not sure, was that always there?" as he looked over he could see there were loads, on his face, his hands, they all varied in sizes,
"Is it a rash? we should take his shirt off to check how far this goes"
"yeah" they carefully unbuttoned his shirt but didn't remove it completely, just exposed his chest, his chest was the most shocking though because they didn't seem random, they went in a line down his chest, with the biggest one being on his ribcage,
"what the hell? I'm sure these weren't here before"
"are they, like, solid, or are they spots?" with that Sam lent over and touched the large one on his chest, as soon as he touched them they changed, they changed drastically, they seemed to simultaneously split open and grow a fine line of hairs, just like eyelashes.
What they revealed underneath was most shocking, they were eyes, they were all eyes, hundreds of eyes, all bright blue, just like.....Castiel's...
"are these, his eyes?"
"what do you mean, Dean, we can't see angel true forms without being blinded, remember?"
"yeah, I remember but what if this spell is like, making him manifest his trueform in his vessel"
"I guess.... I didn't even know that was possible"
The eyes were blinking up at them
"Cas?" all the eyes turned to look at the source of the voice, Dean, and God, it terrifying but he tried not to show it, Cas was his friend after all and he just had to accept that Jimmy Novak was just a transportation device for him.
"Cas, can you speak?" the eyes kept looking at him but the gaze changed to Castiel's annoyed gaze, it was uncanny, it was exactly the same, well duh they were his eyes.
"right, yes, no questions then, blink once for yes, twice for no, okay?" Castiel blinked once
"are these YOUR eyes?" Sam asked, one blink; yes
"is this because of the spell?" one blink
"do you feel alright?" two blinks
"right....um....is it physical on the outside?" the eyes moved from side to side,
"yes and no?" Sam asked, he blinked once
"we'll have to look at the physical ones first, I'll point to a part on Sam blink once if that's the part, two if no"
Dean went on to point various different parts of Sam all with Cas saying no, that was until they got to his back.
"your back is hurting you?" yes
"can we look at it?" Sam asked, yes
They tried carefully to get Cas to sit up, it seemed his body was completely paralyzed apart from the chest which was still moving, this was all very surreal, Dean didn't often think about Cas's trueform, now he was having it thrown in his face, they were glad they had unbuttoned Cas's shirt as it was easier to get off.
It was very obvious what the problem was, he had two big lumps on his shoulder blades, they were longer than the eye ones and looked more painful, maybe if they touched them it would reveal something, God, this was like unwrapping some angel trueform Christmas present, if all the lore was right Dean didn't really have to guess which part these would be, he gently touched one of them, he did it fast, like it might come back and bite him.
There was an almost blinding light and the high pitched whine of an angel's true voice rang in the air, were they causing Cas more pain than good?
"Dean, shut your eyes!"
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Castiel's true form felt as if it were on fire, and even though it was not physical in the same way a human might understand, it felt like drowning and burning all at the same time,
"Cas!?" was that Dean? how? it took Castiel a few moments to realize what was going on, when angels possessed a human it was like fitting a elephant in a suitcase, they were just too big, too much, so instead of completely fitting inside a human body they integrated themselves into it, there grace would wire up to the brain, allowing them to move, see and talk just like a human, it was overwhelming at first but he had gotten used to it,
whatever this spell was, it had disconnected his grace from his brain stopping him from moving, seeing and talking, but it appeared that not all had been lost as he could still hear. Castiel could suddenly feel all of his eyes, they were sore, rubbing up against something, he felt his human skin being touched and all at once he could see, but it wasn't through Jimmy's eyes, it was through his own, whatever this spell was, it was clearly something very powerful, powerful enough to get parts of his trueform on the human plane, he looked around hazelly, not used to having such a wide range of vision, he could see Sam and Dean looking at him worried.
"Cas can you speak?" Dean asked, well of course he couldn't he was paralyzed,
"right, yes, no questions, blink once for yes, twice for no" Castiel was glad for the older Winchester's quick thinking, humans were always so good at coming up with ways to communicate, Dean asked him a few questions but as he went on Castiel began to notice the burning was back again but this time it was on his human form and his trueform, like it was scratching to get out, it was only centered in one place though, the Winchesters picked up on this and went to look, he felt Dean go to touch his back, his finger barely even scraping the surface when all at once Castiel could feel the most blinding pain cut through him, a pain so powerful his true voice came out, he would have to apologies to the brothers when he could speak again, he could feel his true form practically fall through layers of exitance getting closer to earth until it got as close as it could manifesting however it wanted, his wings, though not on the scale of his true form, ripped through his back, not just his shoulder blades, his flight wings were located there, his wings varied in size, he was a seraph after all, he was practically made of wings, he had three pairs of main wings, one set on his shoulder blades for flight, one at the base of his spine, these ones were long and strong, they were used for movement and naturally hung down by the vessel's legs spreading across the floor, the third pair were at the top of his spine, they were used to cover what one might call his "true face" aka his halo in the presence of God, no that he'd ever got to use them for that purpose, on earth the seemed to cover Jimmy's face, shielding his eyes away from anyone, but seeing would not be a problem as his wings had even more eyes covering them.
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Dean sat up letting his eyes and ears adjust back to the normal tone of the world, but when they did he half thought he must have hit his head, for the Cas standing in front of him was not like the one he left, he was now stand but appeared more like some humanoid figure despite the fact he was still in his vessel, he still had the hundreds, maybe even thousands of eyes but instead of the bright blue irises they once held now they were a metallic gold as well as the eyelashes, but what was hardest to ignore were the stunning wings, they were nothing like the lore, nothing at all, they were massive with a wingspan about twice the height ,if not more, of Jimmy, and there were dozens of them, there appeared to be three bigger than the others, Dean supposed they had some sort of practical function, but the rest littered his back like he'd been covered with darts, they were mostly quite small and twitchy, though when Dean said small they were around the size of an eagle wing, the only thing Dean could compare the other wings to would be that of an albatross but even then that wouldn't do their beauty justice.
Most angel lore will tell you that angels have white wings but now with Cas standing there in front of him, that would have to be written off as false, Castiel's wings were a deep rich inky blueish black, they were stunning and paired with his gold eyes he looked like the night sky, when Dean and Cas had gone to purgatory Cas had once mentioned he was a seraph, Dean hadn't known what he'd meant at the time but now he was sure this was it, one of the larger pair of wings was covering his face, obscuring his face giving him his humanoid appearance, was it for protection? was he scared? or was it just custom?
Dean could hear Sam audibly gasping at the sight, damn nerd, Dean thought, all the eyes turned to look at him
"err... hi.. Cas, the spell's progressed I see" Dean said not entirely sure what to say,
The eyes turned to look at him and the wings covering his face moved up and down rapidly, was he.... nodding? though the eyes seemed to slip of Dean and around the room, Dean briefly wondered how he would look around if he couldn't move his head but the eyes probably had some fancy 360 view or something.
His eyes rested on the sheets of paper lying on the alter, then to the pen next to them, what use would he have for a pen?
Then he did something totally weird, the long wings that dragged on the floor began to move and bend awkwardly until they were folded directly against the ground, they looked strong but nowhere near strong enough for what he did next, he walked, on his wings, it looked hella freaky but it worked, the angel wing walked to the alter and used some of his smaller wings to pick up a piece of paper and a pen, probably an advantage to having many wings was that they could act like hands, he began writing, some of the other wings seemed to beckon the brothers to come to him as if they were hands,
As soon as he deemed them close enough he handed? Sam the paper,
I'm sorry for this, the spell has caused my trueform to disconnect from my vessel, I didn't even know this was possible, I let Jake get away, I am so sorry
"hey, Cas, it's ok we missed him too but we can hand this onto another hunter, we need you to get back to the bunker" Sam said reassuringly
"Is the spell permanent?" Dean felt the need to check in case they needed to do something first,
Cas began writing again, no, I think it should wear off in about 24 hours, I can already feel my grace trying to reconnect, but how will I get in the Impala?
"ok, well....umm..., I'm not sure, how flexible are your wings, are they like, delicate or something?" Dean asked
Castiel started at him, looking so pissed you could practically read his mind I'm not "delicate" , Dean, I'm an angel of the lord ,
" maybe we should be wondering how we're gonna even get you to the Impala in the first place, it may be morning but there are still people about", Sam asked
"well, how about I go drive the Impala round the back of the house, then we'll put a blanket round you the best we can and Sam will carry you"
Cas and Sam both shot him a look,
"do you have any other ideas?" Dean asked, but with no response he went out to the Impala whilst Sam looked for a big enough blanket.
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Having an angel grow it's true form in front of you was certainly not what Sam had envisioned when finding this case, and even if he'd always been curious as to want a "being of celestial intent" looked like, this wasn't the way he wanted to find out, not whilst Cas was in pain.
Sam searched the house for a big blanket and managed to find one under the coffee table, it was big enough for two people, it must've been used by Sarah and Alexis, he thought grimly, as he went upstairs he looked out the back window to see Dean had the Impala ready, and when he got back up to the attic he was met with the unnerving sight of Castiel, angel of the lord, he hadn't moved but them again he couldn't really, though the wing walking was fascinating.
"hey Cas, found one" his wings seemed to fluff up and move in what looked a bit like a wave, as Sam got closer he tucked his wings closer to him letting Sam drape the blanket over them, but as he was doing it he noticed that the flight wings and just the wings in general were in a really bad condition, not that that made them any less stunning, just they looked hurt, hell, he could even see some bone and dried blood, how'd he get that? the fall his mind supplied helpfully, God, when Cas said he couldn't fly he didn't think it was because of this, they should have asked, he should have asked, Sam was disappointed with himself really how were they still at the point where Cas couldn't even tell them he had sustained such bad injuries, regardless of if there was anything they could do about it.
Cas seemed to notice him looking and he pulled his wings in closer to himself, as if trying to look like less of a threat, scared, he was scared, but why what did he think Sam would do? judge him? think less of him? yes, that's probably what Castiel thought, this needed to change, Cas needed to know they were there for him, maybe this wing thing was actually a good thing after all, Sam and Dean could help prove to Cas that they cared, that he wasn't a burden.
After a little bit of work Sam managed to pick Cas up in a fireman's lift, but he found it hard to ignore the painful flinch when he rapped his arms around the wings.
it was a bumpy journey out to the Impala and just as Sam expected, Cas was heavier with wings, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle, he made it there all whilst trying not to alert any of the neighbors, he soon caught up to the impala and placed Cas down on the backseat, with some careful shuffling and annoyed flapping, they all made it into the Impala.
"now, can I just say before we leave, that I think we did well on that case, even if we didn't get the witch, y'know we took one for the team and found that stuff like this can happen" Dean said, a sense of pride in his voice and maybe even a little sympathy for Cas, wow, Dean started up the Impala and some Led Zeppelin came blasting out the speakers as they left the town.
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One of Castiel's small wings was twitching again, he hated this, maybe it was because it was cramped against his back, but it was mostly likely from the pain, when Castiel said he hadn't really looked into his true form in a while, this was why, his wings were awful, damaged beyond repair, and it wasn't even just from the fall, wings to an angel were a great source of pride and identity, unique to you and you only, the higher up the ranks you were the further away you got from looking like the human depictions of angels, but with the apocalypse, the civil war, purgatory and the fall, Castiel had lost most of his grace, not all of it but what he did have he saved so it could recharge, and in all of this he had no time to look after his wings, he couldn't preen them, he didn't even check the injuries, they hurt, that's all he need to know, but now having them forced here like this he could see the extent of the damage, there were bones visible, dried blood, frayed feathers, and on top if all that he was missing some of his eyes, there were just a few empty eye sockets, the base of his wings were the worse, he'd actually physically lost some of his wings in the fall, ripped clean of his back, well he said clean, some of them had fought to remain, most had stayed, but some just hadn't made the cut and were hanging of him by just a bit of muscle, it was gruesome and he didn't even want to think about what his true form actually looked like.
Sam had noticed this, he was sure, but he didn't say anything, maybe out of politeness, or maybe he just didn't care, what use was an angel with broken wings to the Winchesters, he was causing all this trouble and they didn't even kill Jake, Dean said it was ok, but maybe he was just being nice, but why would he do that? Dean was never "just nice", though he did seem quite in awe with his wings so perhaps that made up for everything, though he didn't know why, even if he didn't notice the injury, it was hard to ignore the unpreened feathers.
He could feel the steady motion of the Impala all around him, more so now he had his wings, it seemed to calm them down, it was a bit like they had a mind of their own, they would respond greatly to any emotion he was feeling, he'd never known this when he worked for heaven, probably another reason they were greatly discouraged from feeling emotions, because they were very good at displaying them, Castiel felt the Impala come to a stop, slightly curious as to why, he looked out the window only to realize they were at the bunker, great, if he was being honest, he didn't really want to be here, he would have liked to go back to heaven in an ideal situation, but that wasn't possible, so he would just like to be left alone, he used his wings to help him get out the car and then wing walked as the Winchesters had called it, to the bunker, he was quite proud of himself for working out how to do it, he'd been walking round the bunker one night and had thought about what he'd do if he ever lost his vessel, since he couldn't fly he decided the next best option would be to try and walk on his wings, he never thought he'd ever actually use it but he was glad he did consider it.
He only had one place he wanted to go and that to his room, not that he needed to have, just that the brothers had given it to him, he planned on staying there for the next 24 hours and then never speak or think of it again.
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Dean was about to follow Cas inside when Sam grabbed his shoulder and motion for him to stay here, as soon as Cas disappeared inside the bunker, Dean sent a question look at Sam,
"what?", he asked
"have you seen his wings?" Sam asked
"yeah, they're kind of hard to miss Sammy"
"no, I mean have you seen the state of his wings?"
"well, that's a bit harsh don't you think? not everyone can keep up with their physical appearances"
"you know that's not what I meant, I mean they're hurt, you can see bone on some of them, and blood"
"so? it's probably from the fall, we know he can't fly and there's why"
"that's not the point though"
"then what Sammy? what are you tryna get me to see?"
" I mean his wings are in such an awful state and he didn't even tell us, regardless if we could help or not, he doesn't think we care ,Dean, and we do, we said he was family, we should start acting like he is and help him"
Dean didn't respond to that, he could see where Sam was coming from, but if he hadn't told them it was because he didn't want help.
"what if he just doesn't want help, he's probably got it all under control or something"
"really? you really think that? if he had it under control then why do they look as if he hasn't touched them since he met us"
"well I don't know, maybe it's a symbolic thing, y'know he rejects heaven and his wings"
"I highly doubt that, he liked his wings, he was proud of them, it would seem a lot of pain to go through just for symbolism"
"ok, let's say your right then, what do you want us to do?"
"ask him, ask him if we can help him with his wings, to check on him, because we care"
"and you think this will just solve everything?"
"come on Dean, don't you care about him, don't you care if he's hurt?"
"what? of course I do, it's just it seems like a rather private business to just poking our noses in"
"well it can't do any harm to just ask"
"and if he says no?"
"well then we'll make sure he does it himself"
With that Sam turned and walked into the bunker.
.---------------------------------------------------------------.
Castiel lay on his bed, the bed he'd never used, and stared up at the ceiling, it wasn't very interesting, maybe he could go find an interesting book to pass the time, he could here Sam and Dean's footsteps down the corridor, probably going to their rooms, but they didn't, the footsteps stopped, righ outside his room,
"Cas?" Dean asked, knocking politely on his door,
"Cas, are you in there?", well how was he supposed to answer that? he picked up the ornamental box of tissues with his wings and threw them at the door in a resounding yes
"alright, well uh- Cas we just want to talk to you, is that ok?" what was this about? the last time Dean wanted to talk to him, he kicked him out the bunker, was he going to do the same here?
he didn't have anything else to throw at the door, so he forced himself up off the bed and opened the door,
"ah, there you are!" Dean said joyfully
"we brought you a note book and pen so you can write down your answers, can we come in?" Castiel really had no clue what this was about, but from the way Dean kept looking at his wings, he might of had some sort of clue, he took the pen and paper, and walked back into his room, sitting the bed, the Winchesters followed behind him, they took two of the chairs in his room and sat in front of him, he stared at them quizzically, what the hell was going on?
"right, umm.... I'll talk" Sam said sounding quite unsure of himself,
"it's-it's about your wings" of course it was, they were a pain, too ungodly, too ragged,
"we wanted to know if they were ok, they have quite serious injuries"
Castiel began writing on the paper it's ok, it's just from the fall and my weaken grace
"right, but their serious, and you haven't done anything about them"
well, we have more important things to deal with than my wings
"what? Cas, no, your personal health is important too, even if it's an angel thing" Dean said, sounding concerned,
if this is about my flight, I'll never get that back, that requires more grace and better wings than I have now
"no, we're asking because we want to help you, not to benefit us, because we care"
you want to help with my wings, like preen them?
"yeah, of course we do, I don't know what preening is but sure" Dean said
"it's like wing grooming"
"oh" Dean said, now sounding a bit reluctant, he probably thought it had cultural implications, like a mating thing or something, he wasn't a bird, he was an angel, there was a clear difference
it's no different to brushing someone's hair , Sam looked at him, quite interested to learn about this aspect of angels
"we could help out with you injuries too", Sam offered
they are quite serious and if I'm honest they don't look simple
"well that's all right, there's nothing we can't do", If the Winchesters were really offering to do this he wouldn't turn it down, his wings did look awful and they felt worse too, he'd put this off for years but now it was time they did something about it.
"come on then let's go to the infirmary" Dean said, motioning for Castiel to get up.
.------------------------------------------------------------------.
Castiel sat down on one of the infirmary benches, Dean had gone to get some more supplies and Sam was looking around for some more equipment, not entirely sure what he was going into, he was preparing himself for anything, he could hear Cas's wings shuffling behind him, the little ones were twitching again,
"Do they do that often?" He asked, curious if he should be concerned,
yes, my wings tend to display my emotions, I think this happens when I am uncomfortable, he looked quite ashamed of himself,
"it's alright Cas, we'll sort this out, ok?" Sam said reassuringly, the eyes looked at him and the wings seemed to fluff up, that's when he realized, Cas was smiling.
"alrighty, got booze, bandages and more booze" Dean said as he walked in, Sam rolled his eyes, they were supposed to help Cas not get him drunk,
"should we get started now?" Sam asked Cas, his wings ruffled in what looked like a nod,
Sam brought the light closer so he could get a better look at Cas' back, Dean was watching too, and Sam tried his hardest not to gasp at the sight he was met with, the base of the wings were worse than the rest and that was saying something, Sam couldn't even see Cas' skin underneath, there were so many scars and cuts, small lacerations, they could be fixed but they weren't what had Sam's attention, he was looking at the holes in his back, the clear sockets where wings were just missing, but least they were gone, he notice a few were sagging, hanging on by a bit of muscle, slowly rotting away, some of the wings had no feathers and no muscles, just skeletal shells of what they once were, no wonder Cas was in pain, Sam had no idea how he even walked let alone fought, some of the larger wings had eyes, but if he looked closely, he noticed they were just bloody eye sockets,
"wow, Cas this is horrific, you-, I don't even know!" Sam was in shock, he had no idea where to start, this is what Cas meant when he said "not simple"
"umm.... do you want me to remove the ones hanging off, I think there rotting away, there's no saving them" he ruffled his feathers in a sad yes and Sam got to work,
it's safe to say Sam has never had to do anything like this before, but it seemed pretty simple, he got to the rotting ones first, they came out pretty easily and Cas seemed almost relieved they were gone, but was the skeletal ones that were the hardest, despite their protest Castiel had insisted they were no use and wanted them gone, Sam was having to use an angel blade at this point, he dug around the base of the wing, trying to get underneath the joint, all while Cas seemed half way to screaming, despite the eyes not currently working, Jimmy's were crying, maybe it was the spell wearing off, luckily there weren't many skeletal ones, but they seemed to hurt Cas the same every time.
When that part was over Castiel honestly looked happy, as if it was a weight he'd been carrying, they patched up the rest of his back with bandages and stitches, then they moved on to bandaging the other wings, the big ones, Dean helped clean the blood away and stitch them up, he even moved Cas' wings of his face, revealing the emotionless face of Jimmy, which Dean soon covered back up after inspecting the wings, they seemed about the only ones unscathed.
When it was all over Cas had a look of endearment in his eyes and wings that Sam never would have thought possible,
thank you so much he wrote, it was more than enough to let Sam known that Cas regarded them as his family again, that he knew they cared, and before anyone could move an inch Sam and Dean were wrapped up by the feathers, a big feathery hug,
Castiel was happy here, he was loved, he was safe.