Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Look, I’ve done what I can and you know I love your work, but without something significant from you, I can’t get you in here…”

“Ms. Cochran—”

“Laura, I’m already late for my meeting. Call me when you find a story worth selling.” 

As the line clicked dead, Laura fought the urge to throw her phone across the room. Instead, she placed it on the dining room table beside the box she was packing, doing her best not to slam it down in her frustration. Her groan was loud and echoed off the now bare walls. Time was running low and she was no closer to finding a place to live. Not that she could afford a place without a job to pay for it. 

Her father, Sherman, shuffled in carrying an already sealed box. “No luck, pumpkin?” He asked as he placed the box on the opposite side of the table. “I know you’re not happy about it, but you can still come stay with me,” he said, picking up a marker to write LIVING ROOM and FRAGILE in large block letters on his box. 

Laura forced a smile as she picked up a sheet of newspaper to wrap a delicate glass in. “Thanks, Dad, really, but I just—” Don’t want to live with you? Think that you’ll kill my already dead in the water love life? Don’t want to find my personal toys in the dishwasher again because ‘if you’re going to use them, you need to make sure they’re safe’. She sighed, not finding any of the reasons kind enough to say aloud. “I really want to be self-sufficient,” she tried, figuring it was still mostly the truth. The toy thing was definitely a big problem, though. Boundaries. 

As Sherman tried to make an argument as to why it would be such a good idea to move in with him again, Laura picked up another sheet of newspaper, starting in on a fresh issue, and the headline caught her eye.

Karnstein, Next Lloyd Webber?

An idea struck Laura so hard that she almost dropped the glass she held. “Dad!” She gasped, setting the drink ware aside to keep it safe from her own exuberance. “Dad! I have an idea!”

Sherman was mid-sentence in an explanation as to why returning home would save her time, money, and lessen his chances of a heart attack by at least 75% when Laura practically ran around the table and wrapped him in a hug. “An idea, sweetheart?”

“Ms. Karnstein! Carmilla Karnstein!”

He looked perplexed. “You’re going to move in with her ? Have you even met— ”

“Dad!” She cut him off, “No! Dad, I’m going to find her and get an interview! No one has ever really talked to her since her wife died years ago. She’s got a new show on and if I can get an interview, I bet I can get that job!” Laura kissed his cheek and giggled in excitement, running off into her room to make plans. 

———

It was only five hours later that she stood in front of the gates to the Karnstein house. When she’d first concocted her plan, she felt a lot more confident in her ability to get in front of Ms. Karnstein. Now that she stood at the gates and stared through the bars at the winding driveway, she wasn’t feeling so sure of herself. She’d thought about all of the questions she could ask, the ways she might persuade an interview out of the woman… but she hadn’t thought about how to get through the gate. Would she even get to the door? Carmilla Karnstein was almost entirely a woman of mystery. Almost. The public knew a few things about her: She had 3 children with her wife Ell. Before she lost Ell to a tragic car accident six years ago, she was more present in the media, but once Ell was gone, Carmilla had barely been seen. And… that was about it. 

It only occurred to Laura then, as she continued to gaze through the gate, that maybe she should have read that newspaper article about Carmilla’s next show… Oops. 

A car horn sounded from behind her and she jumped so high, she almost fell backwards onto its hood. As she stepped out of the way, the gate began to open and the driver paused the car next to her on the way through. “Oh, good!” The woman said through the opened window, giving her a small smile. “I didn’t expect them to send you so soon.”

Laura stared in confusion, her jaw working to find some words that might ask the right question. 

Unfazed by Laura’s confusion, the woman hung her arm out and patted the door. “Get in and I’ll take you up to the house. No sense in walking when I’m right here.”

“Um, I’m—” Laura tried to start.

The woman cut her off with a wave. “Look, I’ve got groceries in the car and it’s hot out here. Save your introduction for the family and get in here before I leave you to walk. Up. Hill.” Her attitude gave off the air as if she wished to be anywhere but here, doing anything but this. 

Nodding, Laura hustled around to the passenger seat and let herself in. She didn’t bother buckling in (she’d never tell her father that) and the woman didn’t ask her to. As they drove the car up to the front of the house, Laura regarded the driver out of the corner of her eye. Long dark curls tied up into a loose tail. A crisp button down with a gray vest and gray slacks. Eyeliner skills that Laura would kill for. 

“Mel,” the woman said, glancing her way. Laura had apparently been caught staring. “My name is Mel Callis.”

As Mel looked at her expectantly, Laura fumbled for her own name. “Hollis! I’m—I’m Laura Hollis.”

“Well, Ms. Hollis…” Mel nodded her head at the door as she pulled to a stop. “Get out.”

Still flustered, Laura grabbed for the door handle, missed it a couple times, then stumbled out of the car. Mel was behind her in a flash, grocery bags already filling her hands, and leading Laura towards the door. She paused at the front and stared at Laura. 

Nervous, Laura stared back. When Mel’s gaze didn’t budge, Laura started to shift uncomfortably on her feet. Another moment and Mel looked at Laura as if she was an absolute idiot. “The door?” she sighed in exasperation. 

“Oh!” Laura rushed to open the it, trying not to think about the fact that this house was very much not hers and she really didn’t know who this person was (other than definitely not Carmilla Karnstein), but someone wouldn’t buy groceries for a house they didn’t belong to right? Right?

Mel breezed by her without a thank you or any form of directions and disappeared down a hallway. Laura stood there for a moment holding the door wide open, still just as confused as ever, before deciding it would definitely be better to close it. Maybe the Karnstein household didn’t have to worry about electricity bills, but Laura didn’t want to be blamed if they did . 

As she pushed the door closed with a solid click , Laura let her eyes wander the foyer, taking in the intricate crown molding and high chandelier. She immediately felt out of place, never having stepped foot in a place so luxurious. There wasn’t much time to reflect on that though, as a small child wandered into the foyer and stared at her. 

Laura wasn’t particularly uncomfortable with children, but having none of her own and being an only child, she wasn’t entirely well versed in how to talk to one. Especially this one, who seemed to have little knowledge of personal space as they stepped closer and closer, never breaking eye contact. 

Gulping down her discomfort, Laura tried a smile and knelt down on one knee. “Hello,” she greeted as warmly as she could, holding out her hand. 

The child, who had a head full of bright red hair, tilted their head and leaned in even closer, their nose less than a foot away from Laura’s own. Before Laura could pull her hand back, the child reached for it and smeared a gelatinous goo right into her palm. Trying not to balk and scare them, Laura managed to just look at her hand with her mouth pulled into a tight line. 

Smiling, the child leaned in and whispered, “it’s flammable,” before turning on their heel and wandering back the direction they came as if they hadn’t interacted with her whatsoever. 

Panic started to bubble up in Laura’s gut, the nerves of earlier reminding her that— hello— they never left and now she had— apparently flammable!— goo all over her hand. “Aren’t you like seven!?” She hissed after the kid, her eyebrows knitted together. To herself she muttered, “Isn’t seven a little too early to know about fire hazards,” as she looked around for a place to wipe her hand. 

“Ah,” Mel said, appearing from the hallway she’d ventured down earlier, “I see you met the child genius.” She produced a hand towel from a pocket Laura couldn’t see and scraped the goo from Laura’s hand as if this was an everyday occurance. “You’ll get used to it,” Mel said with a shrug, the air about her entirely disinterested. “Or you won’t. Whatever.” 

Used to it? Laura thought. I mean, I guess I could interview them too…? I’ll take whatever I can get, to be honest…

“Ms. Karnstein is finishing up a meeting with Ms. Turner, but will be available shortly.”

“O-oh?” Laura stood and rubbed her hand against her pant leg, forgetting for the moment that she was in her nicest suit. The goo was gone, probably, but it still felt like it clung to her palm. “Ms. Karnstein doesn’t mind, uh— meeting me?”

Mel looked at her like she asked the dumbest question. “Of course she doesn’t mind. More importantly, though…” Mel trailed off and faced the stairs to the right of the foyer, cupping a hand around her mouth for better projection. “Ms. Danny, Ms. Perry!” 

Two young women came bounding down the stairs quickly at their summons, the younger stopping to curtsey at Laura with grace and the older one offering a shrug and a wave. 

Mel looked a little thoughtful for a moment, as if she might be unsure of what to say next, but she looked down the hall that the “genius” had ventured down and called, “Ms. Susan!” The youngest came back into the foyer much slower than the other two, a scowl on their face. Mel looked apologetic but didn’t say anything to address it. “Introduce yourselves, kids.”

The oldest, a girl of maybe 14 or 15 with long, straight red hair, nodded her head in Laura’s direction. “Danny,” she said, looking just as disinterested as Mel’s default seemed to be. 

The middle child (Laura assumed by height), curtsied again, her red curls bobbing as she stood back up. “Lola Perry,” she said, smiling sweetly, “but you can call me Perry. Everyone else does.” Laura thought she might be 13.

The youngest, who now stood by Perry, huffed and crossed their arms, looking away. At this angle, Laura noticed their red hair looked a little off… as if it had been cut with a pair of dull scissors… Laura’s eyes opened wide. It looked as if a child of, say 7 or 8, had taken a pair of shears to it when their parents weren’t looking. 

Perry looked most uncomfortable by the youngest’s rudeness. “Now, Susan,” she tried to say, doing her best to sound motherly. 

The child turned their back on Perry angrily. “I’m not Susan,” they said with a heavy pout.

Perry looked ready to scold them as Danny rolled her eyes in exasperation. Feeling uncomfortable but wanting to help, Laura got on one knee again so she was on their level. 

“Well, if you’re not Susan,” she said, putting a finger to her chin and pretending to give it some very hard consideration, “Then what is your name?”

The child spun to face her immediately, their grin huge. “LaFontaine!”

Danny sputtered in laughter and Perry huffed her disapproval. At Laura’s look of confusion, Danny ran a hand through her hair and shrugged as she said, “It was Mom’s favorite hockey player.”

Laura nodded and faced the youngest again. “Well, LaFontaine,” she said, offering her hand out as she had earlier, “My name is Laura. It’s nice to officially meet you.” She half expected another handful of incendiary goop, but she hadn’t expected LaFontaine to throw themself into her arms and squeeze tightly. 

The other three in the foyer looked just as surprised as she did. 

“Glad to see you’re getting along already,” a smooth voice said from behind Laura. With LaFontaine still wrapped around her neck, Laura did her best to turn to look at the woman who spoke. 

It was none other than the woman she was here to see. Carmilla Karnstein. In the flesh. Only, she wasn’t at all what Laura had in mind. Being out of the public eye for so long made it fairly easy for her to avoid photos over the years. Laura had an idea of what she was going to look like: dark hair, sharp features, dark eyes, not terribly tall in stature, certainly within the realm of beautiful… but the woman who joined them in the foyer stole the breath right from her lungs. 

Sharp features didn’t even cover it. Was she carved of marble? Laura had been jealous of Mel’s eyeliner skills before, but Carmilla’s looked as though hers was some sort of perfect tattoo on her skin. The pleased smirk she directed at Laura made the latter’s heart jump and skip like it needed to be free of her chest. She didn’t mean to ogle (mostly), but her most hidden thoughts warned her that staring at this woman all day still wouldn’t be enough. Laura meant to stand. She meant to introduce herself and shake hands or whatever it took to get her name in Carmilla’s mouth. Not like that! (Well, okay, maybe like that too.) 

But Carmilla’s dark eyes locked on to hers and she found that her own limbs were stone. Not her heart, no, because that beat wildly in her chest, but her body remained completely still, like prey caught in a trap. 

LaFontaine freed her. “Your heart is so fast!” They chirped, giggling and placing an ear closer to her jugular. 

An uncomfortable cough erupted from Laura’s throat as she gently peeled the child off of her, finally snapping back into the current moment. How long had she stared? Oh no. She stood a little too quickly and placed a hand on LaFontaine’s shoulder, her attempt at remaining calm rather ineffectual. “Ms. Karnstein!” Did her voice just crack? She was pretty sure it did. Carmilla looked at Laura expectantly and it only occurred to Laura then that she couldn’t remember what was said to her. Now was definitely not the best time for gay panic to hit. Or was this regular panic induced by the— it didn’t matter. Laura had to think fast and really sell herself now that her target was in the room. “Hello,” she said, trying to keep her voice calm while holding out a hand. “I’m Laura Hollis.”

Carmilla took a step forward and shook Laura’s hand firmly, her other settling on the top of LaFontaine’s head affectionately. “Laura,” she said, her smooth voice shooting Laura right through the heart, but not stilling its rhythm in the slightest. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Carmilla looked down at her youngest, poked their nose, and smiled at the giggle it produced before looking back up to Laura again. “You arrived so quickly. I wasn’t sure your company had even received my voicemail yet.”

Laura’s brow creased in confusion. “My company? I don’t—”

“Yes.” Carmilla interrupted in a way that made Laura think that the producer was far more used to being listened to over listen ing . “Honestly, I’m desperate at this point, so I’m very happy that you came with such haste. Mel can give you the details of Saturday’s party and—”

“Party—?”

“Yes, Ms. Hollis. Please keep up.” Carmilla turned to walk away, motioning for Laura to follow with a quick wave of two fingers. Laura followed obediently, taking far too long to notice she did so without even thinking about it. “I need you to watch the children this Saturday evening, I am willing to pay time and a half for the short notice—”

Laura couldn’t help but feel momentarily excited at the prospect of time and a half , but finally her mind caught up to the situation and she stopped dead in the hallway. “Ms. Karnstein,” she said firmly, the echo of her own voice startling her a bit. 

Carmilla turned and looked back at her, seeming as though she was trying not to look startled to have been interrupted in her own home. 

Laura let the words fall from her mouth so fast that she may not have even taken a breath. “Look, I don’t know what company you’re talking about or what voicemail you left. I’m not a part of a company. I’m just me . I mean, I’m trying to be a part of a company, and don’t get me wrong the promise of time and a half sounds amazing but I’m just a journalist, I don’t know how to watch kids and I mean yours are really nice of course, but I just don’t—”

Carmilla put her hand up to stop Laura’s rant, and again Laura immediately obeyed without thinking. She would definitely kick herself for that reflex later. “You’re a journalist?” Carmilla clarified. At Laura’s nod, she huffed and pinched the bridge of her nose with two fingers. “My office,” she said quietly, opening the door and motioning for Laura to step in.

Laura swallowed hard, feeling like she was somehow going into the principal’s office for some unknown mistake. Mel was behind her in a matter of seconds, and as Carmilla walked in and took the seat behind her desk, Mel closed the door with a gentle click. 

Sighing, Carmilla placed her elbows on the desk and leaned forward, holding her head. Mel stood to the right of her, looking as disinterested as before. Laura tried her best not to glare in the woman’s direction, but she couldn’t help but think she wouldn’t be in this awkward predicament if Mel had let her officially introduce herself as early as the gate .

When Laura cleared her throat before attempting to fill the uncomfortable silence, Carmilla cut her off. Again. “I apologize for the confusion, Ms. Hollis,” she said, dropping her arms to the desk and looking Laura right in the eyes. The little bit of warmth that Laura had seen in her expression earlier was now completely gone. “I’m not sure how the confusion happened, exactly, or how you managed to get this far onto my property, but I am still sorry.” Mel swallowed hard as Carmilla slid a glare her way momentarily. “You may know this, but I’ll remind you that I do not entertain interviews and will be holding to that firmly today as well.” She paused for a moment, considering. “That is why you’re here today? I’m not assuming incorrectly?”

Laura could feel the tears prickling at her eyes, getting worse with every word Carmilla said. Of course it was a big misunderstanding. She should have been clearer before. Maybe she could talk herself into some kind of deal… “Yes, Ms. Karnstein. Could I just—” she coughed, blinking back the tears that were so close to falling. She was so close to success and now it was slipping right through her fingers. “You’re sort of my last chance and I was hoping, maybe, if you could—” Clearing her throat, she started to tremble, feeling like an absolute fool to be ready to break in front of such a confident, put-together woman. Laura couldn’t grasp the words she needed fast enough as her composure let them slip through. Crying in front of Carmilla Karnstein ? Yeah, that was sure to get her an interview. Laura cursed her own weakness.

Carmilla’s gaze didn’t leave Laura’s face, even though Laura couldn’t keep eye contact any more. Resigned, Carmilla said quietly, “It was very nice to meet you Ms. Hollis, but I’m afraid I don’t need a journalist. I need a nanny.”

Nodding, Laura closed her eyes and bit her lip, taking in a deep breath. With the last of her courage, she met Carmilla’s eyes. The desk phone rang, but they didn’t break eye contact. When Mel answered the phone and stepped away, Laura let out the breath she’d held. “I understand. It was a delight to meet you and your family, Ms. Karnstein. Your children are beautiful. Thank you for giving me some of your time today.” She was out the office door in a heartbeat, forgetting to close it behind her. Her mind was empty, not thinking of failure, or joblessness, or even how she was going to get by. At least she could keep it at bay until she reached the quiet security of her own packed up apartment. By the time she reached the foyer, she heard a muffled shout from behind her.

Mel rounded the corner, a hand up to catch Laura’s attention. “Ms. Hollis! Ms. Hollis, wait!” Relieved to see that Laura had paused, she continued, “Ms. Karnstein would like to speak with you! Right away!”

“Me?” Laura was dumbstruck. “But she already—”

“She’s hoping to make you a deal.”

Trying not to seem too eager, the threatening tears of earlier completely dried up, Laura made her way back to Carmilla’s office. 

Now Carmilla was leaning against the front of the desk, clearly waiting for Laura. As Mel closed the door behind her and stood off to the side of the desk again, Carmilla smiled a little. Laura felt her heart skip again and she cursed it for being so utterly weak to beautiful women. Hadn’t it been broken not two moments ago?

Carmilla looked aside for a moment, biting her lip, and Laura about died on the spot. When their eyes met again, it looked like Carmilla might be hiding a grin. “How about we make a deal?” When Laura only gave her a confused look back, she continued, “You need an interview and I need a nanny. You pass the background check, then watch them for one night, just Saturday, and things go well… I’ll give you that interview.”

Laura opened her mouth to say something, anything , but failed. On one hand, she was comprehending, but on the other…. WHAT ?

Perhaps thinking her silence was hesitation to accept the offer, Carmilla cleared her throat. “I can still pay you what we anticipated paying the agency—”

“But I’m not a nanny,” Laura interrupted, all the reasons this was a bad idea surging forward at once. She managed to barely get one out as they all tried to stumble from her lips, “I have no— why me ?”

Carmilla thought for a moment or two before responding. “You said something about me being your last chance, or maybe it was the interview? Well, Ms. Hollis. You’re mine.”

“You can’t just wait for this agency you called?”

Carmilla looked uncomfortable for a moment, looking sideways at Mel. “It would seem that the agency we were using has no available employees at the moment.”

“Or their health insurance premiums skyrocketed after last time,” Mel mumbled to herself. Unfortunately, it wasn’t quiet enough and Carmilla was close enough to elbow her into silence. 

Laura didn’t even know how to respond to that. Instead, she went for her next question. “How do you even know I’m good with kids?”

At that, Carmilla and Mel shared knowing smiles before both turning to look at her. Laura wished that she was in the know too… and then she wished she wasn’t. “Well, you’ve been here for about twenty minutes and Su— LaFontaine hasn’t set you on fire. I’d say that’s a good start.”

“O-oh.”

——

Ms. Cochran laughed harder than Laura would like to admit when Laura called to reveal her big story. Mostly the laugh was due to the fact that she thought it was a bad joke, but when she realized Laura was serious, she was actually excited. It gave Laura a little boost of hope. The laughter did start up again when Laura explained the terms and conditions of the plan, but Laura didn’t dwell on it. It didn’t matter how , it just mattered that the interview was happening and maybe Laura could finally, finally get back into the career she loved. 

Mel invited her over around noon on Friday to discuss the details of their terms and what was to be expected of her. It was all fairly easy and the NDA she signed made perfect sense for the private life of a family who not only tried to stay out of the public eye, but also apparently may or may not have set someone on fire at some point? Maybe?

See, Laura remembered that part of the conversation very well, but she had also been looking into Carmilla’s—Ms. Karnstein’s eyes again and they had an amused sparkle to them, so she wasn’t really sure if that was because she was joking or because she may have found human combustion amusing. The lack of clarity was slightly unsettling, but maybe it was a question Laura could ask in her interview.

Here’s what Laura had learned of the family so far:

Danny was 15, in her grumpy teenager years, loved to play hockey, was a great older sister, and very, very over protective. 

Perry (who went by her middle name) was 13, but closer to going on 45 by the way she behaved. Straight A student, high anxiety, potentially grappling with OCD, and propriety was very important to her. 

LaFontaine was 7, a genius, and a fire hazard. They’d only recently found the words to tell their mother they didn’t want to be a boy OR a girl, and so the family was working through getting the proper pronouns right. It was Laura, apparently, who really helped them decide their name, in that she was the first outside the family to ask and that was all the push they needed. (Laura wasn’t really sure what this meant or what it had to do with her, but maybe she could talk to them about it later.)

Laura was happy for the information, but still one thing bothered her. “Where am I supposed to take these three while the party goes on?” They both stood in the kitchen on either side of the island while they chatted.

Mel looked at her like she was an idiot, which Laura had realized might have just been the way Mel always looked. “Take them? You’re staying here. At the party.”

Had Laura taken a sip of the fresh cocoa Mel had just handed her, she was sure Mel would now be wearing it. It looked like Mel thought as much too, stepping to the side with a suspicious glare. “Here?” Laura sputtered. “With all those people? And not even as a- a journalist, but as a nanny? What am I even supposed to wear ?”

Mel shrugged and poured a cup of fresh black coffee for herself, taking a moment to close her eyes and inhale the aroma. “Not my problem,” she said, taking a quick sip, “I’m just the butler. I wear what I always wear.” She motioned to her suit without opening her eyes, knowing full well Laura would be looking at her. Laura’s grumble was interrupted by the click of heels headed their way. Mel rolled her eyes so hard at the sound that Laura laughed as she took the first sip of her cocoa.

A platinum blonde burst through the swinging kitchen door, an empty mug dangling off one finger. “Mel, I need more coffee,” was all she said, holding the mug out for Mel to take. Laura’s eyebrows practically rose to her hairline as she looked at the woman incredulously. Whoa. The black pinstripe suit she had on looked amazing on her, definitely tailored to fit, but the sneer of disdain she had while she looked down her nose at Mel really soured the aesthetic for Laura. She took another sip of her cocoa and watched Mel’s reaction. 

“You have hands,” Mel scoffed, sipping her own coffee. 

Carmilla came through the door next, her eyes on the packet of papers in her hand. “Elsie, could you—” Something must have felt a little off to her as she paused and glanced up. “Ms. Hollis.” The small smile she gave immediately sent butterflies into Laura’s stomach. “A pleasure to see you again so soon.” Carmilla’s voice was smooth and rich, and Laura suddenly didn’t feel the need for cocoa anymore. The sugar definitely wouldn’t help slow her heart down anyway. 

Elsie, who Laura now knew to be the blonde, finally seemed to notice Laura was even in the room. “Carmilla,” she hummed, still hardly glancing in Laura’s direction. “Who is this?” 

Carmilla’s eyes lingering on Laura for another moment, she started, “This is Laura Hollis. She will be helping the children on Saturday.” She looked to the papers in her hand again, eyes gliding down the page. 

“Oh!” Elsie smiled in a way that made Laura feel uncomfortable, but it was her next words that made her blood boil instantly. “This is that little reporter you’re helping out.” 

Before Laura could respond to the casual insult, Carmilla glared at Elsie. “She’s helping us , Elsie. You included. Without her help this weekend, I’m not sure I could have attended my own party.”

“Carmilla,” Elsie sighed, “I don’t know why you didn’t just send them—”

“Yes, Elsie, I’m very well aware of your attachment to the idea of boarding schools,” Carmilla dismissed, reading over the paperwork in her hand again. Her brow furrowed as she shuffled through some of the pages and Laura found herself smiling at the different facial expressions Carmilla made. Interview or not, this woman was certainly interesting. And so very easy to look at…

“It just makes the house quieter for some…” Elsie paused, thinking over her words and she drifted closer to Carmilla. “Alone time.” Laura’s eyebrows shot back up to her hairline and she would have immediately assumed the relationship between the women was more than friendly , except for the fact that Carmilla didn’t notice Elsie’s attempt at flirting at all. From behind her, Laura heard Mel do her best not to laugh into her coffee. Her best was still pretty terrible…

Carmilla huffed a laugh as though Elsie had made a joke. “Having my house full of rich, opinionated, old men and their gossiping wives does not make for a quiet time.” She reached into a nearby drawer for a pen and began scrawling something on the paper, still never looking up at Elsie, much to the woman’s apparent displeasure. “And there’s certainly no space to be alone.” Laura would never admit it out loud, but she was finding great fun in watching Elsie’s frustration and she barely knew the woman two minutes. 

Elsie sighed, giving up on her venture and changed the subject. “Speaking of Saturday,” she said, pouring herself some coffee now that Mel seemed to be occupied cleaning off the stove top. Laura noticed it was already spotless but remained silent, sipping at her drink every now and then. “What will you be wearing? I think it would be good for the business’ image if we match a bit.”

Mel quietly muttered something along the lines of, “yeah, okay, business image, my ass ,” from Laura’s right, and Laura could swear she heard the eye roll that certainly accompanied it. She covered her laugh with another sip of cocoa and was surprised no one else heard the comment. 

Finally looking Elsie’s way, Carmilla seemed thoughtful. “I was just going to wear my royal blue suit. Did you have something else in mind?”

Eyes sparkling with renewed hope, Elsie started, “Well, actually I—”

“Ms. Hollis has nothing to wear for the party,” Mel jumped in, giving Laura a pitying glance for show. Laura almost choked on her cocoa as all eyes turned to her. What the?

Conversation with Elsie completely forgotten, Carmilla turned to Laura with a look of worry. “Nothing to wear?”

Laura cleared her throat of the lingering cocoa and grimaced. “All of my things are packed, you see, so I…” She tried for a smile, but it was weak and crooked. 

Carmilla looked her up and down, taking a couple steps around to size her up properly. Laura’s face was immediately hot with embarrassment. “We seem to be about the same size. I’m certain I have a dress or two that would suit you.”

For the millionth time, Laura struggled to find the words she needed. She did manage to shake her head, though. Part of her wished she’d been brave or comfortable enough to say yes because Elsie’s face was tight with distaste. Before she (and Mel) could be too pleased by that, Elsie recovered quickly. 

Placing a hand on Carmilla’s shoulder, finally drawing her attention, she cooed, “Carmilla, don’t be silly. Lauren—”

“Laura,” Mel and Laura corrected in unison. Elsie glanced at them both, shrugged, and continued. 

“—would be so uncomfortable wearing her employer’s clothing.” Seeing Carmilla nod thoughtfully in agreement, she continued, laying the kind yet pitying tone on thick. 

Carmilla nodded a few more times. “You’re absolutely right, Elsie.” She looked Laura dead in the eyes and Laura tried her best not to look away, cheeks flushing. “I apologize, I didn’t even consider how indelicate that was.” Her brow creased in thought again before an idea seemed to strike her. “Mel!” Carmilla declared, “Take Laura to find something to wear. On me.”

Elsie looked the most shocked out of the three. “Carmilla,” she tried, the hiss in her tone sneaking through, “Mel can’t just—”

“Sure she can.” Carmilla looked at Elsie as though she was saying something daft. “The kids are at school and you and I have a teleconference in twenty minutes. Mel can take Ms. Hollis to find something suitable.”

Laura was ready to agree with Elsie— something she also found shocking despite knowing the woman for less than a conversation. She placed her mug down and tried to reach to catch Carmilla’s attention. “Ms. Karnstein, I really couldn’t—” But Carmilla’s assuring smile froze her words and her hand fell back to the counter. 

“Ms. Hollis, please. It would be my pleasure to help.” Carmilla’s hand landed on Laura’s in a reassuring pat and maybe Laura would have looked to see Elsie probably losing her mind beside them, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of her temporary employer. A potential savior who was now buying her an outfit for a party she was attending in this very mansion. 

Laura heard herself accepting before she even realized she had the words to speak. Carmilla smirked, called Elsie to follow her, and promptly left the kitchen to prepare for the meeting. Mel stared at Laura until she noticed and laughed too hard at the flush still in Laura’s cheeks.

“C’mon, newbie. Let’s get you something nice so you can impress your new boss.” It didn’t matter how much Laura insisted for the rest of the afternoon that she didn’t have a crush on the famous, widowed producer, because Mel poked fun at every opportunity. And though it was mildly frustrating to be made fun of for enjoying the small amounts of attention from an absolutely stunning woman, Laura was happy to find something of a friend in Mel. Maybe friend was too strong, but a… kindred spirit? Someone a little more down to earth in a world of glitz and glam… Not that Laura had even seen much of the Karnsteins’ kind of world, but she had an idea, and that was enough for her to know that she and Mel could have probably made a friendship work if she was actually going to be a nanny. The thought of becoming a nanny for more than a night made her cringe and laugh at the absurdity. 

———

Things had been going so well. 

Perfect even. 

Well, maybe that’s when Laura should have known it was too good to be true. The moment she thought, this isn’t so bad! She should have known better…

The kids were so well-behaved, Laura couldn’t even figure out why Ms. Karnstein insisted on bothering with a nanny for the evening. When she arrived that Saturday evening, already dressed for the event that wouldn’t start for another hour, Danny was the one who greeted her at the kitchen door (which the family used as more of a rear entrance). Danny’s eyes were wide as Laura twirled in her dress, asking if she chose correctly. It was a stormy gray chiffon dress with lace sleeves and an asymmetrical cut to the skirt: shorter in the front, longer in the back. 

“You look very pretty, Ms. Hollis,” Danny said, her smile a little shy. 

Laura grinned as she regarded Danny’s dress as well. It was a simple black dress with thin straps over the shoulders and a skirt that came to the floor. “You look pretty too, Danny!”

Danny blushed and looked away, her face trying to rival the color of her hair. “I, uh… I have a secret.” At Laura’s perplexed look, Danny lifted the skirt of her dress a few inches to show off a pair of well-loved Vans on her feet. 

Stifling a laugh, Laura promised not to tell. Part of her was a little envious, actually, as her heels may have been a rough choice for potentially chasing down children for a night. 

Perry came down from upstairs a few moments later, twirling in her dress at Laura’s invitation and very happily showing off the sequins on her shoes. Mel popped in and out of the kitchen barely saying hello, but did pause to tell the girls that they looked amazing. She was assisted by several others who looked to be in similar attire, but as the girls did not greet them, Laura didn’t think they were the normal house staff. 

At about ten minutes until the party would officially begin, Laura started to feel a little worried about LaFontaine. Perry had insisted that LaFontaine would be down any moment, but Laura wanted to double check anyway. 

She was glad she did. LaFontaine was sitting at the edge of their bed, a few different clothing options set out next to them. They didn’t give the clothes any attention, though, they just looked at the floor and swung their feet to and fro, lost in thought. Laura’s presence startled them, but still they smiled. 

“Hey, kiddo,” she greeted, coming to squat down to their level, careful not to step on her own dress. “What’s troubling you?”

They sighed a world-weary sound and frowned at her. “I don’t know what to wear.”

“Hmm,” Laura said, looking at the options. “Trying to pick the least flammable can be really hard sometimes.”

LaFontaine’s eyes lit up while they laughed. “Nooo! That’s not what I mean !” They were quiet again, gathering their thoughts before saying, “I’ve never not worn a dress to Momma’s party before.”

Thinking this may take more than a moment, Laura grabbed the nearest chair, which happened to be a tiny child-size one, and she tried not to let it show on her face how disappointed she was that she was not, in fact, too large for it. “Do you want to wear a dress again?” She asked, pulling at her own to prevent it from wrinkling under her. 

“No,” they said quickly, looking close to disgusted. “I’m just…” They couldn’t hide their frown and they sighed again. “What if they think I look dumb?”

“Dumb?” Laura asked, surprised. “Who said you’d look dumb?”

“No one, but… I’m supposed to be in a dress. Like Perry. And Danny.”

Laura looked at the options LaFontaine had beside them and noted that not one looked like a dress. Or even a skirt. “Who said you were supposed to? And if you’re supposed to, who got these clothes for you?”

LaFontaine smiled shyly as they said, “Mel and Momma picked them out.”

“And don’t Mel and your mom both wear suits?” Laura didn’t have a whole lot of an idea of exactly what Ms. Karnstein wore, but she did remember that she planned on a blue suit this evening. Her guess was pretty safe then. At LaFontaine’s nod, she went on, “So, if both of them picked out your clothes and they both aren’t wearing dresses… do you think they look dumb in their suits?”

LaFontaine practically jumped off the bed in panic. “No! No!”

Laura tried not to laugh, thinking the seven year old might read it wrong. She tried to think of how a child genius might understand her next reasoning best. She drew blanks, but tried her hardest.  “Do you think Mel or your mom would ever purposely pick out clothes for you that would make you look silly?” LaFontaine shook their head, but still looked a little unconvinced. “How’s this,” Laura said, standing up to examine the clothes better. “Let’s try them on, you tell me if you’re comfortable, or if they make you feel gross? It’ll be like our own little fashion show. I’ll be in the hall… you come out when you’re done or if you need help? If you don’t like them, we’ll figure something out together, okay?”

LaFontaine seemed a little more excited about this prospect and couldn’t push Laura out the door fast enough. She laughed and put some of her dead weight back against their pushes, causing them to cry “unfair!” through fits of giggles. 

As Laura sat in the hall on the opposite side of the door, Danny and Perry came up the stairs looking for her. When she quietly explained that LaFontaine was having some self esteem issues regarding their wardrobe, both sisters sat down on opposite sides of her without anything more than a nod. Danny assured Laura that they could be late to the party and their mother wouldn’t even notice. Laura wasn’t too sure of how factual that was, but felt that LaFontaine’s comfort was definitely more important here. Her job was to watch the children and all of the children were right here…

It took LaFontaine only one outfit to feel comfortable in their new look, but they enjoyed the praise of the three ladies so much… They tried on two more outfits just in case .

Laura considered all of that a perfect example of a job well done. What she didn’t consider a job well done is that a little over an hour into the party, she lost the youngest child.

That was definitely going to hamper her interview chances.

Chapter Text

If nothing else this evening, Laura was getting a fantastic self-directed tour of the Karnstein mansion. She’d managed to see six bedrooms (none of them the Master Suite), three bathrooms, what she assumed was a playroom by the paint and decor, and the cellar. Revisiting Ms. Karnstein’s office was a little more exciting this time as she may or may not have snooped around a little in there. Nothing terribly invasive, of course (she was certainly raised better than to pry that much) but she did peruse the built-in bookshelf behind the desk and was pleased to see that she and Ms. Karnstein enjoyed many of the same classics. 

Okay, so she was looking for a… misplaced child, but how much harm could a seven year old get into while she paused for a moment to look at books? Thinking of the goo slapped into her hand on the first day they met, Laura thought it might be better to move along.

Skirting the rooms where the guests would be lingering, keeping to the back hallway, Laura made her way back to the kitchen to see if she might be able to find the girls and ask them for help. She would ask Mel too, just in case, but didn’t expect much out of the busy butler. Laura herself still hadn’t made an appearance at the party and she wasn’t terribly upset about that. Being surrounded by rich strangers didn’t sound like her cup of tea, but she wouldn’t admit it out loud that she maybe, sort of, prooobably wanted to see what Ms. Karnstein looked like in that suit she talked about the day before…

Her thoughts replayed the sound of Mel’s doubtful chuckle as Laura had tried to convince her that she did not have a crush on her boss. There was nothing wrong with appreciating the aesthetic of a beautiful woman near her age that had the kind of eyes that drew you in and a jawline that could murder someone. It didn’t have to mean it was a crush just because they’d exchanged a few words and Ms. Karnstein’s smile made her heart skip a couple times.

Would Laura have accepted if a woman like Carmilla Karnstein had asked her out? Definitely. But after this whole nanny debacle? No way she could ever see Ms. Karnstein like that. Definitely not. Nope.

After bursting through the swinging kitchen door, Laura froze. Danny was about to take a bite of a cookie and looked like Laura had just caught her stealing.

“What. Is. That?” Laura asked, narrowing her eyes.

“A cookie…?” Danny looked so nervous.

“Where did you get it?” Laura crossed the kitchen at light speed and it took everything in her power to not snatch the cookie out of Danny’s hands. Taking sweets from children to consume them yourself isn’t exactly smiled upon, even if cookies are the very thing that make your earth spin and a mouthful of chocolate could really soothe your nerves.

“Uh… P-perry made it?”

Laura’s gaze was instantly sweeping around them, searching over all the hors d'oeuvres set about and seeing nothing but caviar, escargot, canapes, a variety of cheeses she could never pronounce the names of, and an assortment of little tarts. Nothing even close to the cookie that Danny had now taken a bite from, chewing carefully like if she was too loud Laura might notice and steal it.

She could desperately use the sweet relief of sugary goodness at a time like this, but there was a child to find. A child who was probably safe for another moment while she just had— No. No, Laura. LaFontaine first. Cookies later.

“Danny, have you seen LaFontaine?” 

Shrugging, Danny said, “Nah. I’ve been out mingling with our mother’s friends and investors and didn’t see them out there.” She seemed less suspicious that Laura might take the cookie, but finished it quickly nonetheless. 

Laura sighed and made her way to the stairs. There were a few places she hadn’t looked yet, one of which being the Master Bedroom, and she had a sneaking suspicion that’s exactly where LaFontaine might be now that she’d visited nearly every other room. She couldn’t say why, but… it didn’t hurt to check.

“LaFontaine,” Laura hissed, opening the door to the master suite. At no sound of reply or movement, she fumbled around for the lightswitch, squinting as the overhead lights came on.

Empty. She frowned, thinking hard about where she could look next when a quiet clatter came from behind one of the closed doors in the bedroom. Grinning at her success, Laura tiptoed towards the door she suspected the sound from and placed her ear on it to listen carefully. Another few clatters and a small “oop!” came from the door she chose. 

She grabbed the handle and swung the door open, shouting, “A-HA!” The sight that met her was exactly something that she would consider a fantastic example of a job NOT well done. 

LaFontaine, the seven year old genius with a love of science, sat in the middle of the large tiled bathroom floor. That alone wasn’t an issue, of course, but the fact that their hand was entirely engulfed in a blue flame certainly was. It was strange that despite their hand being on FIRE , the thing that startled LaFontaine most was Laura bursting into the room. Without thinking, Laura grabbed the nearest rug and went to throw it over their hand, but as soon as the gust of her movement passed by, the fire was out. At her befuddled look, LaFontaine only grinned. 

“It worked!” They cheered, getting up and brushing off their slacks. 

“Worked!? You were on fire!”

“No, I wasn’t.” They said it with such seriousness and certainty that Laura doubted her own eyes for a moment. She shook it off and pointed an irritated finger at them.

“Fine. Fire was on you.” She didn’t care to know the science behind it, but did care to know how it sparked. Holding out her hand, Laura demanded, “Ignition source.” She may not have remembered much from science courses, but maybe some of those terms that stuck permanently in her brain would come in handy tonight. 

With a heavy sigh, LaFontaine produced two batteries. They seemed to think that was enough, as though Laura wouldn’t know better… but what the child didn’t know is that she’d had plenty of years of survival training. Her paranoid father made sure that she would be safe, even in the event of a zombie apocalypse or Hell on Earth. She knew the battery trick. How to start a fire is practically the first thing they teach you. Hand still out, she waited. Finally a pack of gum fell into her hand. Only one stick was missing. Not bothering to ask where the gum in the now undoubtedly burnt wrapper would have disappeared to, she helped LaFontaine clear up the bathroom floor of their fire-starting supplies before ushering them out of their mother’s room and down to the party. 

LaFontaine was down the stairs in a flash, disappearing into the crowd to find their siblings, leaving Laura at the balcony on top. 

Laura looked out over the guests mingling in the large foyer, her heartbeat picking up at the sheer number of people milling around. There had to be at least a hundred… maybe two? All of them in the newest fashions, the highest quality brand names, the most expensive accessories. Normally, Laura never really thought about the differences of class, but she supposed she’d never been in a group of people this famous or rich. No one seemed to be paying her any attention, but still she felt uneasy. She bit her lip and took in a deep breath, steeling herself to go find the kids. They were what she was here for. Well, what watching them would get her, anyway.  Nothing was on fire, there was no screaming or panicking, and all three children were alive so far… she’d say the evening was back to being a success. She could almost hear Ms. Cochrane’s voice welcoming her to the team now… glowing over her Karnstein interview. 

With restored confidence and a genuine smile, Laura started down the stairs, holding the back of her skirt up a bit so that she didn’t accidentally step on it. She hadn’t caught anyone’s gaze when she was at the top, but as she reached the quarter landing, she felt as though someone was watching her. Glancing around, she found only one pair of eyes was on her.

Carmilla Karnstein.

And maybe the gaze itself wouldn’t have been anything of note— people look at one another all the time, don’t they? It’s a normal, human thing to use one’s eyes and it doesn’t have to mean anything — but the smirk that played on Ms. Karnstein’s lips prevented Laura from descending further. Her feet were firmly planted on that landing and it was as though Ms. Karnstein knew that she was the exact cause. She stood in the archway of what Laura remembered to be the dining room, a glass of champagne in her hand. Taking a sip, she let her eyes linger a little longer on Laura before turning back to the man who was speaking to both her and Elsie. 

As soon as Ms. Karnstein’s gaze was gone, Laura let out the breath she was holding, feeling like she could move again. Something about this woman kept putting her in some sort of little gay panic and she just couldn’t make it stop. She hadn’t felt like this since college, probably. It’s fine , she thought, just have to finish tonight, get the interview and then no more fluttering heartbeats. Walking down the last set of stairs, her eyes couldn’t stay away and she was starting to really consider that it might be what Mel accused: a crush.

But in an outfit like that , what was she supposed to do!? You take a gorgeous woman, put her in a perfectly tailored navy blue blazer, ankle length slacks to match, high black heels, and… Laura stopped dead in her tracks, almost colliding with someone and barely mumbling an apology. Was that a lacy corset under the blazer!? She tried desperately to keep from staring but she was frozen again as Ms. Karnstein met her gaze. 

She couldn’t even think of escape when the woman she knew she was now wholly crushing on excused herself from her guest and made her way over. “Ms. Hollis,” Carmilla greeted, her voice low and a little gravelly. 

“Hey,” Laura managed, mentally kicking herself for the informality immediately after. 

Carmilla didn’t seem to mind at all and the corner of her mouth lifted in a small smile. “Hey,” she returned, definitely enjoying the way Laura’s blush was coloring her cheeks. It only made her blush harder. There was a bit of an echo in the foyer, the chatter of the party a steady hum in the background. Carmilla leaned forward so that Laura was the only one able to hear her next words, “You look absolutely stunning in that dress, Ms. Hollis.”

Laura felt her whole body flush as she bit her lip and Carmilla pulled back to look at her again. “Thanks,” she mumbled. Gathering up some courage, she tried to return a compliment, her voice a little bolder. “You look, um,” she swallowed thickly as one of Carmilla’s eyebrows quirked up in interest. Amazing. Incredible. Breathtaking. Magnificent. Gorgeous. Dazzling. “Wow,” she finished lamely, her mouth betraying her brain. Way to go, Hollis. Real smooth.

Carmilla’s smile was genuine and for some reason it distracted Laura away from her own nervousness. “Thank you,” she said gently, putting her hand to the small of Laura’s back. “Danny is helping LaFontaine get something for dinner. I’d like to speak with you for a moment?” Excusing them both as she made a path through her guests, Carmilla led Laura into the room directly under the foyer balcony: the ballroom. People mingled around the edges, only a handful really using the room for its purpose. A string quartet was towards the windows, playing a waltz for the dancers who twirled about the middle of the room. Laura’s breath caught at the gracefulness and the perfect time they kept with the music. For all she knew of waltzing, these guests could have been professionals. 

Carmilla must have noticed, her fingertips leaving Laura’s back as she leaned down to ask, “Do you dance?”

Laura instantly flushed again, brought from her trance. “Me? What? No, haaa, no, definitely not.” Ah, foot back in mouth. Why couldn’t she just have a working brain right now? She couldn’t even look Carmilla in the eyes, but she managed a quick glance sideways to ask, “Do you?”

Carmilla’s gaze grew distant as though she was looking through the dancers instead of at them. “It’s been some time.” She seemed to come back to herself after a moment and placed her hand on Laura’s back once more, her touch still gentle. “Follow me, if you don’t mind, Ms. Hollis.” 

Laura was led through the hall towards an office she already knew. Carmilla closed the door behind them and sat against her desk. The way her blazer opened as she sat back, revealing more corset, made Laura try her best to avert her gaze. It’s hard to look your temporary employer in the eye when you were pretty sure she knew the effect she was having on you. 

“How are the children faring this evening?” Carmilla asked as Laura sat on the leather loveseat. 

Taking a moment to smooth her dress and make sure she wasn’t sitting on it or showing more leg than she should be, Laura replied, “They’ve been delightful.” She didn’t need to mention the mishap of misplacing the youngest for a time, right?

Carmilla stared at her for a moment, her expression serious, and then she laughed much harder than Laura ever expected. Once again, Laura’s heart leapt and she couldn’t tell if it was nervousness or the fact that Carmilla’s laugh was just as lovely as she was. Well, now that she could acknowledge she definitely had a crush on the woman, maybe she could see it being the latter… maybe . “Ms. Hollis, I’m sure the children appreciate your…subterfuge, but you really don’t need to lie to me.”

Laura tried to bite her lip to hide her smirk. Reaching into a pocket of her dress— yes, she insisted her dress have pockets— she pulled out the two batteries she’d confiscated off of LaFontaine. “No subterfuge, Ms. Karnstein. I really have enjoyed their company.” As Carmilla took the batteries with a knowing sigh, Laura went on, “LaFontaine has kept me on my toes tonight, but I do enjoy a challenge.”

Carmilla set the batteries on her desk and smiled. “I can’t thank you enough for your help tonight, Ms. Hollis, and I’m so pleased to hear you’re enjoying them.” A knock at the door startled the both of them and Carmilla rose to answer it. Before she did, she looked back at Laura. “It seems our time is cut short. Let’s talk again later tonight so we can iron out the details of our interview.” Carmilla gave a small smile as she turned to open the door. Laura caught a glimpse of bright blonde hair and assumed it was Elsie who led Carmilla away. 

Laura waited a few moments, listening to make sure she was alone, and when she was certain she was, she leapt off the couch with a triumphant fist pump. She may or may not have let herself dance in victory around the room a bit more and she also may or may not have been caught by Mel, who looked utterly unsurprised. Sheepishly, Laura excused herself to find the children once more.

For the rest of the evening, Laura didn’t really get to leave the ballroom save for a few trips to the kitchen or restroom. After having some dinner herself, she was whisked away by LaFontaine, who insisted on the first dance. Luckily, Laura managed not to step on their feet. Perry asked to step in next after about three songs and Danny took LaFontaine spinning into the middle of the ballroom, lighting up the entire room with their laughter. Even the guests were delighted to see them. As Laura and Perry made it around the room, Laura caught sight of Elsie and Carmilla having a bit of a heated discussion— or was it that Elsie looked heated and Carmilla looked disinterested? Laura turned her head away quickly as Carmilla dismissed Elsie and made her way towards them. Laura half expected Carmilla to ask her to help the kids retire for the evening, but instead she asked Perry for a dance. Delighted, Perry took her mother’s hand and they waltzed around the room as if it was as easy as breathing. Laura stepped back towards the wall so that she might watch them without being in the way. Danny appeared beside her after a few minutes and offered her one of Perry’s cookies with a shy smile. When Laura’s eyes lit up at the sight, Danny blushed and hurried off to find LaFontaine again before Laura could even thank her. A few more songs in and LaFontaine and Danny were back, not really dancing, but almost something like it. Maybe it would be considered a hover. Laura suspected Danny wanted to ask her to dance but was too proud or too shy. Either way, it was endearing. 

Carmilla walked up with Perry, hand in hand, and graciously kissed the back of Perry’s hand with a bow, thanking her for the lovely time. She held out an elbow to LaFontaine next, sending a wink Laura’s way as the seven year old practically dragged their mother onto the floor. Fighting a blush, Laura laughed when she heard, “No, you can’t stand on my feet this time, you’ll crush my toes in these heels, kiddo,” drifting her way from the two of them.

Perry danced with Danny next, her level of energy something Laura was fairly sure she never had even at 13. Laura used the opportunity to sneak away to the kitchen and use the restroom. She wasn’t able to find any more of Perry’s delectable cookies— how did a thirteen year old make such perfection in cookie form?— but she did find some little tarts of custard and strawberry and they were definitely delicious. She’d just popped a 5th (6th?) tart in her mouth when the current song finished. Danny and Perry found her in the same place they left her, a single tart remaining in her hand. Laura would never tell them how many she’d snagged. She’d go to the grave with that information. 

Carmilla approached them, looking a little more winded than the last time she swapped partners. LaFontaine had a sleepy look about them, but the biggest smile. As she did with Perry, Carmilla bowed and placed a kiss on LaFontaine’s hand, thanking them for the lovely time. LaFontaine copied her exact motions in return, complete with a kiss on the hand. It might have just been the cutest thing Laura had ever witnessed. As Carmilla turned to invite Danny for a dance, Laura popped the last tart in her mouth, chewing slowly because she knew she shouldn’t take anymore for the night and she would savor this moment as long as she could. 

Abruptly, Danny grabbed Laura’s hand. “Dance with me?” she practically yelped, dragging Laura onto the ballroom floor. Mouth still full, Laura threw a glance back at Carmilla who looked after the two with something of a somber gaze. It was gone in an instant as she swooped down to pick LaFontaine up, bopping them on the nose with a fingertip. 

Swallowing the rest of her tart, Laura looked back to Danny, who had about an inch of height on her. “Are you okay?” she asked once her mouth was clear. 

“Yeah.” Danny wouldn’t meet her eyes, though, and her shoulders sagged. The entire air about her was so different than when she was with her sisters earlier and there was a nervous energy radiating from every motion she made. Laura couldn’t pry the truth from her, but by the end of their dance, they were both exhausted from laughter because Laura couldn’t go two steps without accidentally stepping on Danny’s toes. 

At some point in the night, Laura had wondered if the fun she and the children were having was drawing negative attention, but she was pleasantly surprised that no one was really paying them any mind unless they were laughing along with them. Laura felt a little more comfortable after that. 

Around a quarter to nine, Laura stepped out to the balcony for some air. Carmilla had Mel put LaFontaine to bed, and Perry volunteered to retire for the evening as well. Danny was in one of the sitting rooms “secretly” watching a hockey game on her phone. Laura had promised not to tell, but didn’t think anyone would mind at this point in the night anyway. 

Leaning against the stone balustrade, Laura took in a deep breath of the cooling night air, her dress blowing gently in the breeze. From this balcony she could see over the back garden, but it was mostly hidden in shadows that danced along with the movement of the guests in the ballroom.

“Tired?” Her heart kicked up its pace at the sound of the voice behind her. A tone that reminded her of smoke, but somehow smoother. 

“A little,” Laura sighed, not taking her eyes from the garden as Carmilla came to stand beside her. 

The silence between them wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable for Laura, but she could feel so many questions bubbling up that she struggled to keep herself from asking them. Carmilla beat her to it. 

“I thought you said you didn’t dance.” Laura’s eyes shot to Carmilla as a blush creeped up her neck. Carmilla wasn’t looking her way, though. Instead, she looked up towards the night sky. “I believe your words were ‘definitely not’?”

Laura’s jaw worked for an answer but she found none. It wasn’t until Carmilla’s eyes slid from the stars to meet Laura’s that she saw a smirk. Laura narrowed her gaze, feigning offense. “You’re teasing me.”

Carmilla huffed a laugh and shrugged. “I’m only repeating what you said to me earlier. And I’m pretty sure I saw some dancing in there.”

It was Laura’s turn to huff. “You can’t call that dancing. If Danny’s shoes fit over her swollen toes tomorrow, I’ll be surprised.” She thought for a moment and smiled. “Perry was a natural lead, though. She made it easy to follow.”

Carmilla turned around to lean her back against the balustrade, her eyes still lingering on Laura, who put her chin in her hand to look back. “Glad to know she takes after me.” There was something in Carmilla’s eyes then that made it simultaneously hard to keep eye contact but also impossible to look away. Laura held her breath. Was… was Carmilla… flirting with her? They held eye contact for a bit longer and Laura could have sworn they drifted closer to one another before Carmilla cleared her throat and startled Laura into pulling back. “So, my children really seem to like you…”

Laura couldn’t help but grin. “I really like them,” she said honestly. It was almost a shame she wouldn’t be spending more time with them after this. 

The look on Carmilla’s face held a relief that Laura didn’t understand. “Well,” Carmilla started, hesitating like she might be thinking hard… seeming— for the first time since they met— at a loss for words. “I was hoping—”

Laura’s phone rang suddenly, causing both of them to jump. Confused by such a late call, Laura pulled the phone from her dress pocket and checked it. 

Elizabeth Cochrane. 

She glanced up at Carmilla who wore an understanding expression. “I’ll leave you to it,” she said, going back inside. Not before giving Laura a wink that sent her heart aflutter. Again.

Trying to hide the excitement in her voice from the effect of her temporary boss, Laura answered the phone, saying hello to her new one.

———

An hour passed before Carmilla found Laura leaning in the same place she’d left her. It didn’t really register to Laura that she’d barely moved since Carmilla left her to the phone call… or that time had passed since she hung up. 

“Hey,” Carmilla greeted, coming to stand in the spot she occupied earlier, her back to the balustrade. Laura didn’t look up, her eyes still on her phone where it lay against the flat top of the railing. The screen was dark; the phone call had long ended. “Bad news?” Carmilla tried.

Laura huffed a sardonic laugh. “Yeah, I’d say it was pretty bad.”

“Hm.” She could see Carmilla glance her way from her periphery. “So… no date?”

That snapped Laura’s attention from despondent to Red Alert. All Hands On Deck! System Overloading! “Wha?” It wasn’t a very articulate alert, but Carmilla seemed to take pity on her. 

“For the interview? We don’t need to schedule a date for it now?”

At the word ‘interview’, disappointment crept its way up Laura’s spine. She wanted to blame it on the bad news and not the fact that maybe the word ‘date’ meant something different to her for a moment… but she filed that all away to address at a later time. Looking back down, she focused on her hands, picking idly at a cuticle. Unable to form words that wouldn’t lead to embarrassing tears, all Laura could do was nod and sigh. 

Carmilla turned around and leaned against the rail much like Laura was. After a quiet moment, she huffed a quiet laugh. “Yeah, well, I’m not surprised. I’m not really that interesting.”

“What!?” Laura practically snapped. It was like Carmilla had insulted Wonder Woman. “Are you kidding? Who wouldn’t be interested in you ?”

Carmilla looked startled, her brows high. 

“You’re talented, successful, intelligent,” Laura was on a roll now, barely recognizing that what she said would be embarrassing to her at any other time. But now that she started, the words just kept pouring out. “I mean, even the way you’ve treated me since the misunderstanding— you’re so generous. And look at you!” Laura waved an awkward hand to gesture at all of Carmilla. “You’re gorgeous!”

Carmilla looked like she was about to say something, her smirk growing with Laura’s every word, but Laura couldn’t just stop now. She had just called the Carmilla Karnstein gorgeous, even if it was absolutely the truth, and she was not prepared to face those consequences. Better just to barrel on through…

“And your kids!”

A hesitant look took over Carmilla’s expression. “My kids—?”

Laura pressed on. “Perry is so sweet and considerate. And how a thirteen year old has perfected the chocolate chip cookie, I don’t even— she is a cookie prodigy — just phenomenal. Danny is the best big sister. I don’t have siblings to compare, of course, but she’s just so attentive to the other two and she’s only fifteen ! And she’s also considerate! Where do you even think I got a cookie?” Laura began to pace, using her hands to emphasize her words just as fast as she spoke them. “LaFontaine—” Laura half laughed, half paused for a breath, “LaFontaine is easily the coolest kid I’ve ever met. Child genius aside, they’re just so interested in everything and— and so curious ! They ask such weird and wonderful questions. Okay, so they’re more attracted to fire than a seven year old should be, but—” Laura stopped pacing, glancing up mid-rant to see Carmilla practically staring at her. Her skin felt hot as a blush crawled up her neck. “What I mean is… um… your kids are really great.”

Carmilla’s expression was soft in a way that Laura had only seen directed at the children so far. Now it was aimed right at her and she wasn’t sure how many more times her heart could get thrown off rhythm before it killed her. Taking an opportunity during Laura’s silence, Carmilla looked her right in the eyes as she said, “I’m very glad you think so. I can tell that they think the same of you.”

There was no slowing of her heartbeat and no calm in sight. The back of Laura’s mind toyed with the idea that, if nothing else, Carmilla’s presence was at least great cardio. Who needs a stairmaster or jumping jacks? Not Laura Hollis in the presence of beautiful women, that’s who. Still, the fact that the children enjoyed her company made her heart ache, especially since now she didn’t have an excuse to come back. “I really do like them,” she said, much quieter than her rant. 

The weight of everything crashed down on her suddenly. The smile Carmilla was giving her wasn’t enough to stop the flood of disappointment and failure that rushed through her. 

Laura had to say it aloud. She needed to get it off her chest or the pressure would suffocate her. “There’s no interview because they cut the position I was trying for. That’s what the news was.” She couldn’t look back at Carmilla, couldn’t let their eyes meet. Crying in front of your gorgeous crush after she tells you her kids liked you wasn’t a vibe Laura was going for. Neither were the words she said next, but they tumbled out regardless. “This job was my last chance. I don’t know where I’m going to live. Maybe with my dad again? What a success, twenty-nine and moving back in with Dad… I don’t have to work in my field, I could do just about anything with a journalism degree, right? A degree is a degree.” She swallowed thickly, choking down a sob and trying to mask it with a humorless laugh. It dawned on her suddenly that she’d just practically word-vomited her woes and insecurities on a woman she barely knew, who also happened to be ridiculously hot and majorly successful. Instantly ashamed, she covered her face with her hands. “Holy crap— I mean— ugh. I should not have just dumped all of that on you and I am so sorry—”

Carmilla’s fingers touched her arm, gently pulling one of Laura’s hands down. “Ms. Hollis,” she said, just as gentle as her touch. “It’s okay.” Before Laura could delve into another bumbling apology, Carmilla made sure their eyes met. “I believe I might be able to help one more time, if you’ll allow it?”

Afraid that trying to speak might only bring tears, Laura could only give Carmilla a confused stare. 

“Why not work for me?”

Laura blinked a few times trying to process Carmilla’s request. “No,” she said, shaking her head, “I couldn’t possibly—” 

“Temporarily, of course,” Carmilla went on, finally taking her fingers from Laura’s arm. Before further protests could be made, she reasoned, “The children loved you, you loved them. You need income and a place to stay. You passed the background checks with no issues and managed to keep LaFontaine from setting anything on fire.” Laura winced at the last one, feeling like she should admit that LaFontaine themself was actually on fire, but the opportunity passed too quickly. “I’m still in need of a nanny, and that position includes room and board. You can continue your search for a job in your field while you work for me, and when the time comes for you to move on, perhaps the nanny agencies in the area will have found someone willing to work for us again.”

A blank stare was all Laura could offer as Carmilla looked at her expectantly. 

“I understand that you might need some time to mull this over. As the children are already in bed, and the guests are beginning to leave, would you like me to call my driver?”

Laura shook her head, ready to decline.

“Ms. Hollis, please. After such an evening, I would feel much better knowing you made it home safe and sound.”

Numbly, still finding the offer far too good to be true and remotely real, Laura nodded. Had she had a spiked drink without knowing? Was this an elaborate prank by her friends? After Carmilla smiled and bid her goodnight, leaving to call for the driver, Laura reached down and pinched her own thigh, grimacing at the pain. 

Well, it wasn’t a dream. Maybe a nightmare? Probably a nightmare because she was actually considering saying yes to being a nanny for a (very beautiful) rich woman’s children. A nanny . Not Laura Hollis, top journalist. Laura Hollis, the nanny. They don’t give out Pulitzers for child care.

But the pay was actually really good, she wouldn’t have to live with her father, the kids were fun and they liked her, Mel was pretty hilarious, the mansion would be her home, and her boss was absolute eye candy…

So it wasn’t a part of the plan, but she could do this for a few months, right?

Laura Hollis lived for challenges. This was just… one bump on the road to success. 

One bump that included her own room in a mansion.

Say hello to Laura Hollis, the nanny, she decided.

Chapter Text

Laura was moved into the Karnstein mansion a week later. As her room came fully furnished, she had to put most of her things into a storage unit. Carmilla insisted on professional movers so that Laura would have more time to focus on the children. Laura wanted to protest, but moving out of her apartment into storage just to (hopefully) move into another place in a few months seemed like a lot of work to do alone. Her father would insist on helping, of course, but he wasn’t exactly a spring chicken…

The first time Laura saw Mel after she’d accepted Carmilla’s offer, Mel made her feel very welcome by laughing herself to tears at Laura’s expense. Not for the fact that Laura was taking a job she didn’t exactly want for the need of income and a place to live, not at all. Mel was rude sometimes, but not that callous. No, Mel laughed herself silly because the moment Mel asked how that crush was doing, Laura blushed from head to toe. She also let Laura know how glad she was that Laura was working in the Karnstein house now, because she found such immense joy in Elsie’s displeasure. When Laura tried to ask about that, Mel brushed it off with, “you’ll see.”

And Laura did. Her first official day on the job, Elsie found her in the kitchen, just after she’d sent the kids off to school. (LaFontaine insisted on a hug before they left and Laura might have still been glowing from it.)

“Lola, was it?” Elsie called as she made her way into the kitchen, her heels clicking sharply against the tile. 

Mel answered before Laura could, her voice heavy with exasperation. “ Again , Ms. Turner, that is one of the children. This is Laura Hollis.”

“Whatever,” Elsie said with a dismissive wave, ignoring Mel’s mumbling about it having been thirteen years. “Laura, then.”

Laura offered her the best smile she could muster— which was fairly genuine as she tried not to laugh at Mel’s eyerolls— and gave a little wave. “Hello, Ms. Turner.”

Elsie strode up to Laura, her chin high in a way that Laura supposed was meant to be intimidating. “I’m not here to play nice and pretend I don’t know what you’re here for.”

Laura tilted her head, genuinely confused. “You mean, to… take care of… the children?” 

The woman actually rolled her eyes at that. “I’m so sure,” she scoffed. “Because EVERY woman with a journalism degree who comes knocking on this door is looking to take care of children .”

Mel snorted and didn’t try to hide it. “Carrie’s mother had more maternal instinct than you, Ms. Turner. Other women actually have fondness for children beyond that of a dried up prune.”

Laura wouldn’t let Elsie have the satisfaction of riling her up. She smiled as she said, “Ms. Turner, I assure you, my focus here is on the children and only the children.” 

“Really?” Laura had a sneaking suspicion Elsie wasn’t listening to a word she said. A suspicion confirmed when Elsie leaned in and spat, “What paper do you work for?”

Now Laura’s temper flared. “Excuse me? I just sai—”

“News station, then?” Elsie sounded like she was trying to play a bad cop in an interrogation. 

“I—”

“Magazine?”

Laura huffed, her fists clenching at her sides. “I just—”

“It doesn’t matter. I have been Carmilla’s partner for ten years and I will make sure you keep your lips sealed—”

Mel huffed an exhausted sigh, putting clean dishes away into their proper cabinets. “That would be what the NDA she signed is for, Ms. Turner.”

That brought Elsie to a pause and she looked at Mel, then at Laura. “You signed an NDA?”

“The day I accepted the position,” Laura said firmly, calmer with Mel’s support, but no less irritated. 

“Did Ms. Karnstein not tell you?” Mel asked, feigning shock. 

Elsie looked irritated for a moment, still looking between the two. “I’m still watching you,” she hissed at Laura as she left the room, her heels clicking just as loudly as when she’d come in. 

When the sound of footsteps was finally far enough, Laura let out a frustrated huff of air. “Is she always that rude ?”

Mel laughed, “Yes. But I must say, she’s been a little more on edge since your arrival.”

It was Laura’s turn to laugh. “Since my arrival?” She asked incredulously. “ Why ?” 

Mel shrugged and left the room without another word, leaving Laura to stare after her in confusion. 

There wasn’t a whole lot of time to wonder what Elsie’s problem was. Laura had a LOT of unpacking to do and unpacking was best done with loud music and even louder singing. She had the entire upstairs to herself while the kids were out and Carmilla’s office was on the other end of a mansion . It would take some time for Laura to pick up on the family’s habits, definitely, but even if Laura did get caught belting out her favorite Disney songs, she wasn’t one to be easily embarrassed by that. Her singing wasn’t Broadway-worthy, but she certainly wasn’t tone deaf. 

Two hours into unpacking and top Disney songs already sung, Laura put her entire music library on shuffle. It was easier to skip a few than to keep thinking up playlists and albums to listen to. She was wrist-deep in her underwear drawer, folding some here and there that had unfolded in the move when one of her favorite songs from Waitress came on. 

“It’s a bad idea, me and you.”

She didn’t hear the knock on her door as she sang along. 

“It’s a bad idea, me and you.”

Pulling one of her favorite bras from the moving box, she continued to sing as she lamented at not having a recent reason to wear it. 

“I’ve never known anything so true.”

Holding it up, she would have frowned if she wasn’t busy singing the lyrics as if she felt each word. Black, lacy, fitting perfectly, and looking sexy at all angles… It was a dream. And she had the thong to match. She’d wear it more often but it was a pain to wash, so instead she saved it for specific, special occasions and sometimes, rarely, when she needed to feel an extra boost of body confidence. 

“It’s a terrible idea, me and you.”

She was about to sigh forlornly when something in her periphery caught her eye and she snapped to look at it. In her doorway, eyebrows raised in surprise, her new boss stood, smirking. 

Laura was immediately mortified. No amount of stuffing her bra in a drawer and slamming it shut would save her. Carmilla’s hand was still on the doorknob as Laura scrambled to find her phone and stop the music. As the noise cut to silence, Laura tried to think of her options in a split second… but nothing surfaced. Only embarrassing emptiness. 

Carmilla leaned in the doorframe, clearly struggling to hide her smile. “I’m sorry to interrupt your serenade to your,” she paused as if considering her words carefully, “Lingerie…?” Laura could think of a thousand reasons she would have loved to hear her insanely attractive boss utter the word ‘lingerie’ in that smoky, sultry tone of voice, but of course, not one of those reasons was happening right then. 

She knew she was bright red. Heat practically radiated off of her skin like she was some kind of dwarf sun. (What a great time to finally apply that 6th grade science terminology, awesome .) She leaned heavily against the dresser that she’d unceremoniously slammed shut, hoping she didn’t crack any of the wood in her haste. Solid oak, probably antique dresser? Not something she could afford to replace any time soon. 

Carmilla didn’t seem to notice, or maybe it was that she didn’t care. She still had an amused look on her face, and part of Laura was glad for that as it could have been a look of disgust, but part of her still wished she could fall into some kind of black hole. Spontaneous Big Bang? Anything?

She wasn’t so lucky. 

An awkward silence hung between them: Carmilla waiting for Laura’s response, and Laura unable to make thoughts past what was really nothing more than an internal scream. Finally, Carmilla spoke.

“I was stopping by to check in and see how the unpacking is going.” She glanced around the room. “It seems to be going fairly well?”

Laura made a noncommittal noise as she bit her lip. Somehow she nodded, shook her head, and shrugged at the same time, which just looked more like a strange chin rotation with her shoulders by her ears. Carmilla seemed even more entertained by this. 

“Alright,” she said, stepping back out of the room. “I guess I’ll leave you to it. Though, it might go faster if you don’t sing to your underwear?”

The sound that came from Laura’s throat was definitely an attempt. An attempt at what exactly? Even Laura wasn’t sure. A whine, a grunt, a hiccup, it could have been anything. It was certainly a noise. 

As Carmilla closed the door behind her, Laura sighed heavily and tilted her head back, trying not to voice her self-loathing in the heavy ‘ugh’ that she was desperate to say, but knew would be heard easily. The door opened again and she almost fell over in surprise. 

“Oh, and Ms. Hollis?” The look on Carmilla’s face was thoughtful.

“Yes?” Laura managed.

“For what it’s worth, I’ve definitely heard worse ideas…” 

Laura stared, eyebrows knitted in confusion. Carmilla didn’t offer an explanation; She just smirked, like she found herself hilarious, and closed the door as she finally left for good.

Two meanings hit Laura’s thoughts at the same time and fought for dominance. Both reasons made her drop down to the balls of her feet with her head in her hands. Standing was impossible right then as her heart raced and her skin flushed with heat. 

Did Carmilla mean the idea of Laura in her lacy bra…?

Or did she— a woman who most definitely knew songs from Broadway— just happen to take a more direct application of the song and mean the idea of Laura and her…?

Either way, that was most definitely flirting, Laura was certain. It took her a few moments to gather herself into something less jittery and a little more clear-headed. 

For the rest of the day and into the evening, she couldn’t help but smile. 

… so long as she didn’t think about the fact that she was caught singing to her underwear. 

—

It was about two weeks into working for the Karnstein family that Laura was forced to introduce her father. 

Generally, an employer may meet an employee’s family at something like a work event or party, but Laura wasn’t so fortunate as to wait for something like that. 

It was just after the kids had returned from school for the day. Mel had just herself returned from collecting the groceries for the weekend and came in through the kitchen door as usual, but didn’t bother looking at Laura when Laura tried to greet her. Before Laura could ask her what was wrong, the front door chimed. 

Immediately, Mel looked up from where she was leaning into the fridge and said, “I had nothing to do with this.” 

It was Laura’s father. Of course it was. Laura hadn’t let him help move her in and so he took it upon himself to stop by for a visit. He wanted to check the place out, make sure it was safe enough. Normal dad stuff, he said. Laura was sure other fathers were not this obsessive with safety. 

Apparently, Mel found him at the front gate on her way back in from shopping and let him through. (Certainly no ulterior motives there, noooo. )  Despite Laura’s protests, he insisted on meeting her gracious employer. 

And it would just so happen that while Laura was desperately trying to push him out the door, Carmilla came walking through the foyer. Laura tried to excuse his presence, tried to insist that he was on his way out, but Carmilla reached out to shake his hand and introduced herself before Laura could move him an inch. Laura wanted the floor to swallow her whole and end her misery. 

Sherman Hollis was in the Karnstein mansion for three hours before he saw fit to leave them for the evening. Carmilla was all too accommodating and the kids loved his sense of humor. He even stayed for dinner at the children’s insistence. Laura tried her best not to be embarrassed by his presence, but for the whole evening her skin was hot. 

When she apologized for his unexpected appearance later, Laura was gifted with a small smile from her boss. 

“I find him charming. He is welcome anytime, Ms. Hollis,” Carmilla told her. 

Laughing, Laura replied, “Please don’t let him hear you say that.”

—

Her father’s unexpected visit (and general inspection of the house and grounds) was really the only excitement in Laura’s first month with the Karnsteins. Beyond helping LaFontaine with their homework, carting Danny to hockey practice, and occasionally running lines with Perry for her parts in her theater club, all that really happened is that they all got to know one another better. 

Danny loved all sports, it seemed, but she really found her spark on the ice. When Danny asked if Laura would come watch her games, Laura was all too happy to be the loudest supporter there. Carmilla’s hectic schedule prevented her from attending the games, so Laura started to send little video clips when she could. She’d only get a short reply of thanks in return and she started to worry that maybe Carmilla didn’t care. 

LaFontaine’s homework made Laura’s head ache. How a seven year old was processing all these equations and absorbing the data was beyond Laura’s comprehension. Most of the time “helping” LaFontaine with their homework was more just keeping them on task and— when they were really into a subject— making sure they took breaks. The hardest part of watching LaFontaine was making sure their experiments didn’t cause any harm. Not that they helped her in any way, what with sneaking off to whatever room in the house they thought would house the experiment best. At least Laura had the house mentally mapped much faster this way. 

Perry was the easiest of the three. She was quiet, considerate, did what was asked of her, and very concerned with cleanliness. Laura assumed she was shy at first, but she found that Perry actually shared that quiet trait with her mother— both seemed to keep their ideas to themselves, ever watchful, rarely initiating. Once Laura knew this, she did her best to ask Perry’s opinion on things and engage her in conversation whenever possible. It didn’t get Perry to initiate conversation, but she was opening up a little more each time. 

Elsie was still rude and tried to throw verbal jabs where she could. Laura didn’t have to worry about defending herself; Mel was always there to tell Elsie off in some way or another. Sometimes she appeared out of the blue, like she was just waiting around the corner for the perfect moment to strike. She seemed to take great joy in those moments and Laura was all too happy to let her have them. 

Carmilla was something of a mystery. After the… lingerie serenade … as she had called it, her attempts at flirting seemed to drop down to zero. Maybe Laura was wrong and Carmilla hadn’t been flirting at all. It wouldn’t be the first time Laura got mixed signals. Just because Ms. Karnstein was a confirmed lesbian, it didn’t mean Laura was her type. Now she felt a little silly thinking that Ms. Karnstein might have been interested. Of course she wasn’t.

It’s not as if she was suddenly impolite, of course. And she still caught Laura’s eye across the dinner table sometimes and gave her a small smile before she looked back to whichever child was vying for her attention. It’s just that there was a distinct lack of something now and Laura couldn’t really figure out what it was. 

—

By the second month, Laura had the children’s schedules down perfectly. She’d even had most of Ms. Karnstein’s routines memorized. Her crush on the woman was going absolutely nowhere. It seemed to have dug its heels in. No matter how much or how little she saw Ms. Karnstein— not Carmilla , Laura decided that was too informal— in a day, whenever their eyes met or they shared a quiet conversation about something as boring as the weather, Laura’s heart always picked up its pace. Always . It was driving her mad. 

—

One Friday in particular, LaFontaine had only a half day of school. Despite their genius, LaFontaine was kept in the elementary school so that they could socialize with others their age. So while the older two had to stay in school, LaFontaine’s school let out early. 

This was perfectly fine for Laura, of course, as she loved the time she spent with them. At least, it was fine… up until the point where she lost them. Again. 

It was fairly normal for LaFontaine to disappear for experiments. They were easily engrossed in a subject and needed to find answers as soon as possible. Laura couldn’t fault them for that, it was a child’s curiosity. The problem was that LaFontaine enjoyed the dangerous experiments most and had not yet learned and retained the idea of self-preservation… regardless of Laura’s efforts. 

The rest of the house having been thoroughly explored, Laura had one room left: Ms. Karnstein’s bedroom. Bathrooms seemed to be LaFontaine’s preferred laboratory, with the tiles being easy to clean and the detachable shower heads great for rinsing evidence down the drain. 

Quietly, Laura tiptoed into Ms. Karnstein’s room. If the genius heard her, they’d abort their experiment and sometimes that panic led to more of a mess. When she snuck up on them, they had no time to clean up and she would then know exactly what they were up to. 

As she neared the bathroom door, the sound of the shower gave her pause. It’s her boss’ personal bathroom… Could it possibly be Ms. Karnstein? No, she was definitely in her office when Laura checked earlier. It was one of the first places she looked and Ms. Karnstein was even a little irritated at the interruption. Mollified, she opened the door quietly. She needed to be quick if the shower was already running. It meant evidence was being erased. 

Laura grasped the curtain and wrenched it back with a victory cry, “AH—Huh?”

It should have been a seven year old redhead in a play lab coat with something fizzing or burning around them. It should have been. But it was not. 

Laura was frozen. Her jaw worked at an apology but nothing came out. 

Standing in the tub, a shocked expression slowly turning into something more amused, was Carmilla Karnstein… completely bare, water dripping from her hair to her shoulders. 

Words still evaded Laura and she stared, her mouth hung open in stunned embarrassment. She tried to look anywhere else, really she did. But anywhere else was always less appropriate than the last place her eyes landed. Finally, she just gave up and closed them. Then the apologies spilled forward.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry, oh my gosh, I can’t believe— Ms. Karnstein, I am so so so so sorry.” She was speaking so fast she left no room for air. “I was looking for Laf— oh my gosh— and sometimes they hide in here and I wanted to surprise them because then I can catch—“

“Ms. Hollis—”

“— and it was just so rude of me, I can’t believe—”

“Ms. Hollis— ”

“—and now I’ve seen you naked , and I’m so sorry— I mean, not that you’re not absolutely stunning because wow—”

“ Laura !”

Finally, Laura stopped and her eyes snapped open. Her skin was hot, likely from the bright blush taking over, and maybe the shower steam. Carmilla had one arm over her chest now and Laura refused to let her eyes see any lower. She locked eyes with Carmilla and barely blinked. Instead, she waited. 

The expression on Carmilla’s face wasn’t what Laura had expected. Rage, embarrassment, horror, anything in the range of disastrous… but instead, a blush colored her cheeks and she raised an eyebrow impishly. 

“Close the curtain,” she said quietly, just over the sound of the shower spray. An amused smirk danced across her lips as Laura swished the curtain closed with far too much force.

Disconnected from the sight of her beautiful and nude boss, Laura felt her wits come rushing back. OhgodohgodohgodwhathaveIdone. She still couldn’t get her feet to move, the shock of it all ever rooting them to the spot.

The water turned off and Carmilla’s voice came from behind the curtain. “If you’re going to just stand there, could you hand me my towel?” There was still no hint of anger or disgust in her tone, much to Laura’s relief. She managed to grab the nearby towel and pass it to Carmilla’s outstretched hand. 

“Ms. Karnstein—” Laura tried again as the towel disappeared behind the curtain. She swallowed heavily and took a few steps back towards the door. “I’m so sorry—”

 The curtain swished open suddenly and Laura didn’t have time to hide her eyes. It was okay, though. Mostly. Carmilla was wrapped in the large, fluffy towel now. Definitely better than a full view of flushed red skin, kissed by the… the heat of a… hot shower. Laura swallowed thickly. Yep. Much better. Is it just the steam, or is it sweltering in here?

Carmilla still sported a knowing smirk and Laura was sure that’s what it was because she knew exactly the effect she could have on people. On Laura. It took so much effort to look anywhere else in the bathroom but Laura managed to settle her eyes on the small trash bin in the corner. Perfect , a tiny voice in her mind whispered, because that’s where you belong right now, you scoundrel. You should just jump right i—

“You’d think ‘voyeur’ would show up on the background check,” Carmilla’s voice broke into her self-deprecating thoughts. It was light with humor as she walked towards the vanity. Despite the joke, Laura’s chest tightened with anxiety. “Is there something I can help you with, Ms. Hollis?” Laura couldn’t help but look back towards Carmilla, their eyes meeting in the mirror. 

She could only shake her head vigorously. “I should go,” she blurted, backing towards the door. 

Carmilla chuckled and as Laura fumbled with the door handle, she called her attention one last time. “Ms. Hollis,” she said, waiting until their eyes met before she continued, “It’s fine. Really.”

Laura only managed a meek groan of a thank you before she finally made her escape. 

LaFontaine was found seven minutes later in the kitchen, chatting easily with Mel. Laura wanted to be mad; she felt the urge to be snippy rise in her throat like bile, but she pushed it down. Her embarrassment was her own fault, not a child’s. 

Then LaFontaine offered her one of Perry’s cookies and her heart melted. They had no idea and still they were so sweet. 

She almost choked when they innocently asked, “Why are you so red?”

—

That night, every time Laura closed her eyes, her brain decided it was a brilliant time to bring up the embarrassment of the century. She couldn’t escape the fluttering feeling as her mind replayed the event, focusing on details she hadn’t consciously noticed at the time. Things like…

The playful look on Carmilla’s face as she teased her. The unwavering confidence of her gaze before she told Laura to close the curtain. A moment played over and over in slow motion and it was just the journey of a single water droplet. Starting at the tip of a wet lock of hair, it fell to Carmilla’s shoulder and slid down past her shoulder blade, disappearing once it hit the terrycloth of the towel. Laura didn’t even remember seeing that, and yet here it played so vividly in her mind. 

She groaned and bit down on the plush edge of her comforter, knowing full well that sleep would not come easy. 

—

The following day, a Saturday, Laura did her best to avoid Carm— Ms. Karnstein . She didn’t take breakfast with the family in the dining room, opting for a bagel with cream cheese in her own bedroom. When the kids tried to ask why, she blamed it on needing to look for freelance work, things to beef up her portfolio and make her a more desirable candidate. Little did the family know, she didn’t touch her computer. Instead she ate her bagel, set an alarm for an hour, then lay in bed hating herself until it went off. 

The day wasn’t made much better when her father decided to show up. Last visit he noticed something was weird about the wine cellar’s door handle and he was determined to remedy it today. And potentially reinforce the door in case of emergency. “Climate change is a real thing and I know this isn’t a tornado area, but the weather could surprise us any day and I’d be happier knowing you all were safe.” Laura didn’t have the energy to argue and Mel seemed all too pleased to let him run amok. (Probably because Elsie found him too pleasant and avoided him like the plague. Mel said it was probably the fact that Elsie thought kindness was some kind of disease. Laura laughed at that joke, but part of her worried that it was true.)

Laura’s afternoon went by fairly easily, as Danny went to a friend’s, Perry was at rehearsal, and LaFontaine was playing some kind of educational computer game. Laura thought it might be rated for high school based on the math questions she got a glimpse of, but LaFontaine didn’t seem to need her help and for that she was very thankful. 

Still, she avoided Ms. Karnstein. When she would come into the kitchen, Laura would find the nearest exit and excuse herself with whatever she could think of that might be in that direction. 

“I think I left my laptop in the library!”

“Is that Lafontaine calling, let me go see what they need!”

“I forgot my phone upstairs! What if I get a call?”

“Dad? Is that you? Coming!”

She couldn’t use her father as an excuse for the evening after he left to fetch a part, letting them know that the locking mechanism on the cellar door was broken. He said he’d be back around 8pm. 

That was all well and good, as no one really needed to go into the cellar any time soon. Or, it should have been…

Perhaps Mel knew what was going on. (Not that Laura had told her, of course; she didn’t need that laugh track on repeat for days, thanks.) If she did, Laura wasn’t sure if Mel’s offer was from kindness or a need for evil. If she didn’t, Laura was more convinced that the world was working against her. 

Regardless, at 5:30, after dinner was finished (in which Laura avoided any eye contact with Ms. Karnstein the entire time) Mel did offer to take the children out for a trip to get ice cream followed by a jaunt at the park. At Laura’s questioning look, Mel only gave her an indifferent shrug. Before Laura could even think to ask to accompany them, Mel said, “What? I also enjoy my hang time with the children.”

Less than twenty minutes later, Mel and the kids were in the kitchen and ready to leave. Laura wished them a great time, trying not to give Mel the pleading look of  ‘ take me with you!’ Because if Mel didn’t know what happened, then she would feel the need to ask. If Mel did know, she would definitely say no just to watch Laura squirm. 

Maybe this was what frenemy felt like… but Laura didn’t have time to think about it because the next person through the door was none other than Ms. Karnstein and all of Laura’s exits were blocked: Ms. Karnstein herself in the way of the dining room, Danny and Perry coming down the stairs, and LaFontaine and Mel by the door to the outside. Panic tightened her stomach, and she looked for any alternate routes. There was only one escape: the cellar. Forgetting anything her father had said about the door, she practically made a dash for it, blurting out an unintelligible excuse that she didn’t bother trying to fix. 

As the door shut behind her with a solid click, she felt herself relax. She took in a deep breath and let it out heavily, eyeing the room around her. A small window high on the wall let in the afternoon’s dying light, casting the cellar in an orange glow. Rows and rows of bottles, many holding what could be years of dust, lined three of the four walls. To the middle-left there was a floor to ceiling shelf with even more bottles. Down here the air was cool, maybe a little damp, and she could see little dust particles dancing in the light of the window. All in all, this place was surprisingly nice for a cellar. 

At least it felt like it until she heard the door unlatch. Suddenly, the place was a prison. Feeling much like a trapped mouse, Laura looked around for a place to hide. Then her brain caught up with her and provided her with something more pressing than a hiding spot— an excuse to actually be down here. As the door creaked open, Laura raced around the corner of the free-standing shelf, out of view. She pleaded with the universe for the interloper to be anyone but Ms. Karnstein. 

“Ms. Hollis?”

Apparently, the universe didn’t give a damn about her. 

“Y-yes?” Laura answered, trying to sound as unflustered as possible. 

“Oh! So it is you.” Ms. Karnstein’s voice was just as low and smooth as ever, but there was a lightness of amusement in her tone. Laura tried to tell herself that she didn’t like it. “You vanished so fast I thought you might be some kind of ghost.”

Laura gave an awkward laugh as she poked her head around the shelf. “Ah, nope! Just me! No ghosts here.”

Ms. Karnstein came down the steps towards her, looking around in interest. “What brings you down here?”

It’s not like Laura was going to tell the truth about it. Oh, yes, I’m sorry, I’m just avoiding you because I saw you naked and my heart hasn’t slowed down since because I’m insanely attracted to you and you keep smirking at me like you already know it. She bit her lip and considered the answer she thought of before: a half-truth. “Well, I don’t know all that much about wine and I mistakenly said ‘how many different wines can there be’ to Mel.” Not a lie.

Ms. Karnstein was clearly fighting a smile. 

“After listing things in what I’m pretty sure were a bunch of different languages…” also not a lie, “She sent me down here to see your, uh… collection.” That one was the lie. All Mel had done was thoroughly mock Laura on her ignorance on the finer points of grape fermentation. 

“Mel does take pride in being an oenophile, that is true…” As Ms. Karnstein came around the corner, Laura tried to look like she was considering the labels of the wines in front of her. Most of the labels on these shelves were German and she sighed, feeling as though her try at a good excuse was falling flat. 

Ms. Karnstein seemed to think the sigh was for something else. “Frustrated?” She asked, coming to stand at Laura’s shoulder. 

Laura’s gut reaction was to step away, to put some distance between them, but she fought it for fear of being too obvious. 

“Do you need me to translate?” Ms. Karnstein asked, reaching for a dusty bottle directly ahead. Without waiting for an answer, she gently wiped the light dust from the label and tilted it towards Laura. “This is an eiswein. Literally ‘ice wine’.”

Laura was perplexed by the name, and her brows scrunched. “But you keep it at room temperature?”

The small smile that Ms. Karnstein gave her was warm and light. It felt nothing like the moment Mel dove into ridiculing her. Ms. Karnstein carefully put the bottle back in its cradle and looked over the rest of the shelf. “The grapes are harvested during a frost after they’ve ripened.”

Laura’s brow furrowed more as she momentarily got swept into processing how such a thing might happen. Journalist curiosity be damned. “It seems risky to wait until a frost comes through… wouldn’t they rot before then?”

Ms. Karnstein reached for another bottle, her arm brushing Laura’s shoulder as she reached. Laura tensed at the sensation, looking toward the next section with feigned interest in order to hide her rising blush. She tried to tune in to Ms. Karnstein’s answer, but that internal scream of gay panic was making itself hard to ignore. How she could simultaneously want to flee and yet never move again was something she’d never understand. Shift closer, her traitorous thoughts whispered. 

“It’s a big risk,” Ms. Karnstein said, eyeing the new bottle in her hand. 

“Hm!?” Laura almost choked, having momentarily forgotten what they were discussing. Wine. Wine was the risk. Not the… touching. Though that was also a—

“Waiting for a frost,” Ms. Karnstein explained easily. Her voice dropped low as if she was reciting words she treasured, “The weather waits for no man and will do as it may, regardless of our desires.” When Laura didn’t respond— she was too busy trying to make the word ‘desire’ stop playing over and over in her head— Ms. Karnstein looked her way. “Would you like to try some this evening? It’s a dessert wine. I could—”

Something clicked in Laura’s head suddenly. She was in this cellar trying to get away from Ms. Karnstein. As much as she wanted to accept this offer, there was that ever-present image in her mind of yesterday . Quite suddenly, Laura was moving away from the woman. “Actually— I really need to get back to that article—” She stepped around the shelves and made her way to the door. “Maybe another time?” When I’m not imagining you naked.  

“Actually, Ms. Hollis, I hoped to speak with you,” Ms. Karnstein said, following her around the shelf, stopping at the bottom of the short steps as Laura reached the door. 

“Oh?” Laura answered, trying not to whip the door open in her haste. She tugged. The door didn’t move. 

“About yesterday…” 

Laura tugged again, harder. The door remained firm. Something tickled the back of her mind, something she needed to remember about this, but her desperation to get away from Ms. Karnstein was more important. 

“I would like to—”

Two hands on the doorknob, Laura pulled hard and the door groaned… but didn’t open. “It’s stuck,” she said, mostly to herself. 

Ms. Karnstein was quiet for a moment, but suddenly she was up the stairs and behind Laura, practically pressing Laura into the door. “What do you mean it’s stuck?” She asked, taking hold of the doorknob herself. 

Laura couldn’t move without pushing her back against Ms. Karnstein’s chest so she remained still, trying not to think about the way the woman’s warm breath tickled her ear. 

“Oh, your father said something about the door,” Ms. Karnstein mumbled suddenly, still twisting and pulling the doorknob futilely. 

That’s what she was meant to remember! Her momentary triumph of remembering was cut so short as another of Ms. Karnstein’s breaths grazed lightly over the skin of her left shoulder, and she was abruptly returned to the present. Where she was stuck. In a cellar. With her boss. The boss she was trying to avoid. Because stupid hormones.

“I think we might be stuck,” Ms. Karnstein murmured. She stopped pulling, but didn’t take her hand from the door. Laura was starkly aware of her proximity. The heat radiating through the clothes of her back was electrifying and she had to fight the urge to melt back into it. Instead, she swallowed hard and steeled her nerves to look over her shoulder. Unfortunately for her heart, the movement put her face mere inches from Ms. Karnstein’s. 

But the look of worry on the woman’s face was like a splash of cold water to Laura’s heated thoughts. “Are you alright?” Laura asked quietly. 

“Yes, of course.” Clearly distracted, Ms. Karnstein took a step back, then retreated down the steps, pulling her cell phone from her pocket. Laura did the same. No signal. “Yours too?” Ms. Karnstein asked, seeing Laura’s frown. “Never really thought about this space needing WiFi or a signal booster, I suppose.”

Empty wooden crates sat in one corner of the room and Ms. Karnstein grabbed one as she walked about the room, checking for some kind of signal. Laura did the same, keeping as much distance as she reasonably could. Still, even in the highest corners of the room, no bars could be found. 

A little defeated, Ms. Karnstein settled on the crate she’d grabbed. “When did your father say he was returning?”

Laura opted to sit on the stairs, just out of the way of the door should it magically decide to swing open on its own. “Eight, I believe.” A glance at her phone told her it was 6:07. She could have laughed at the sick game the universe was playing on her. Two hours she would be trapped here with a woman she couldn’t stop fantasizing about. Brilliant. “Did Mel leave with the kids already?”

Ms. Karnstein nodded and sighed, glancing around the room. “It looks as though we might be stuck here until your father comes back.”

Laura knew without a mirror that she paled. Maybe Ms. Karnstein could see it, or maybe she had worries of her own, but she stood, brushing her palms against her slacks and walked to the bottles they’d discussed earlier. “Would you like some wine now, Ms. Hollis?”

—

It took only half a shared bottle of wine for Laura to forget that she was trying to keep her distance from Ms. Karnstein. As they reached the bottom quarter, Laura was now on the second to last step with her back against the railing, practically sitting next to the woman she spent the last twenty four hours avoiding. She wanted to blame the warmth tickling her skin on the wine, but she wasn’t an idiot. Head buried deep in the sand in the Denial Desert, definitely, but not stupid .

Laura did most of the talking for the first half of the bottle. That wasn’t unusual, of course, but the topics changed faster than normal, and some of the numbers and facts she recalled were fuzzier. Regardless, Ms. Karnstein listened with something like a charmed look about her features. Laura tried to blame that on the wine too. 

Into the second half, Ms. Karnstein was starting to open up. Where Laura had talked about work, university, and funny stories about living with a single father, Carmilla spoke mostly about her children. Laura wanted to ask more, but she couldn’t bring herself to change the topic. Especially when it turned to Danny.

Carmilla offered Laura the last swig from the wine bottle, only downing it when Laura declined and went to fetch another. She chose the German one that Carmilla had taught her about first and checked her phone. 6:59. Sitting back down, she handed the bottle over. 

Opening it easily with the corkscrew they’d found, Carmilla handed it right back. “Danny wasn’t mine.”

Laura paused mid-sip. Where did this topic come from?

“I mean, Elle had her before we met.”

That was news. Laura took a gulp of the wine and handed it over. Carmilla nodded her thanks and took a sip. 

“Danny was a month old when I met Elle. Her father died before she was born and honestly, I don’t know much more than that. Elle didn’t like to talk about him.” Carmilla sighed and set the bottle down between the crate she sat on and the bottom stair. “We fell in love fast, Elle and I, and we were married before Danny turned two.” With a sad smile, Carmilla picked at the sleeve of her shirt a little. “Danny was too young to remember a time when I wasn’t around, and I’m pretty sure I loved her even before I knew I loved Elle.”

Laura felt like she should say something, anything , but she was afraid Carmilla might stop telling her these secrets. So she grasped the bottle between them and took another swig. 

Carmilla let out a long, heavy sigh and ran her hand through her hair. “I wasn’t keeping it from her. I just… never thought to tell her that Elle and I didn’t plan for her. That I wasn’t there. That my name isn’t on her birth certificate. All of that never mattered to me. But now she’s just so angry….” At the pause, Laura couldn’t help but put a reassuring hand on her knee. Carmilla looked up at the contact, her gaze boring deep into Laura. “She’s my daughter and I love her no matter what. I just…” She dropped her eyes away. “I don’t know how to get her to see that.”

The words came to Laura’s mouth before she could really put thought behind them. “You could go to her hockey games.”

“What?” Carmilla rasped, her dark eyes back on Laura.

Panic raced through Laura’s veins as she considered how rude that was. “Her games,” she fumbled, “you haven’t been to any and, um, she’s always looking for you in the crowd. I mean, yeah, I’m there and she waves, but most times she still looks past me and I really think that she’s probably looking for you—” She almost continued on, her discomfort fueling her ramble, but there was a look about Carmilla that stopped her short. Laura felt the breath escape her lungs. 

A smile graced Carmilla’s face. A true, genuine smile and Laura only realized then how guarded Carmilla had been around her up until this moment. Months together and this was the first time she saw this look? Her skin warmed, her heart prickled, and she told herself it was still just the wine as she took another sip. 

“I didn’t think she wanted me there anymore,” Carmilla said. Laura heard these words, she did, but her eyes focused instead on where Carmilla had bitten her lip, looking like she was attempting to keep her growing smile in check. “The videos you send honestly make my day, Ms. Hollis.” The use of her last name pulled Laura back, her gaze meeting Carmilla’s once more. She really was listening.

“Have you told her that?” Laura asked, her brow furrowing at the slight look of guilt that passed over the other woman’s face. She put the half-empty bottle down between them. “Have you talked to her about her videos or any of her games?” A boldness filled her— still the wine, definitely— and she leaned closer, “How will she know that you care if you don’t show her?”

They gazed at one another for a long moment before Carmilla worried her lip again and Laura’s stomach somersaulted. “You know, Ms. Hollis,” Carmilla’s voice was soft, a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth, “Things have become much… easier since you arrived.”

Laura’s heart thumped in her chest, loud and strong. She swallowed thickly. “As a—” she cleared her throat, sure her heart was trying to climb as high as it could, “As a nanny, that is my job…” 

Carmilla’s smirk grew as she drifted closer and Laura realized they were now only inches from one another. Her heart stalled in her chest, anticipation catching her breath. When had she leaned in so far? The words Carmilla spoke were tender but deliberate, her eyes never leaving Laura’s. “What you have done for us is far beyond what I expected.” 

They were so close now that Laura could practically feel Carmilla’s words against her skin. She barely had the breath in her lungs to ask, “Is it?” Carmilla bit her lip once more and somewhere in the haze of Laura’s thoughts, she wondered if she might be able to soothe that rough touch with a far gentler one of her own. 

Before she could even think to offer, Carmilla closed the space between them, pressing a soft kiss to Laura’s lips. 

It was gentle and perfect. Laura’s heart thundered. She could feel the smile on Carmilla’s mouth as she pressed harder before pulling away. Their gazes caught again, both looking like shy teenagers. They stayed close, knees brushing, and Laura wanted to lean in again. The look Carmilla gave her was just as intoxicating as the wine that lay by their feet. Even though the glow of evening had faded from the window, the dull lights overhead still cast Carmilla in a light Laura thought was close to ethereal. “Wow,” she breathed. 

Laura’s hand reached to thread fingers into Carmilla’s dark hair as she shifted to press even closer. They both leaned in, breath mingling, until Laura’s foot tapped the half-empty bottle between them just hard enough to topple it. 

The clatter alone shocked them apart, Carmilla looking… guilty? Laura’s brow furrowed as Carmilla pulled further away. “I— I’m sorry,” Laura stuttered, her heart suddenly so still and quiet as it sunk low into her stomach. Is this not what Carmilla had wanted? 

Through the thick haze of her disappointed thoughts, all Laura could hear Carmilla say was something about “a mistake”. Nausea settled in her stomach where her heart lay defeated. 

A noise came from the other side of the door, something from up the stairs. Laura couldn’t take her eyes off of Carmilla though, as the woman who’d just kissed her looked so full of regret. She kept her eyes on the door, away from Laura. 

A name that sounded an awful lot like Laura’s rumbled through the door, but Carmilla spoke up, standing and stepping to the bottom of the stairs. “In here! We’re stuck!” 

It was none other than Sherman Hollis that came to their rescue that evening and for at least an hour after, he lectured Laura on the importance of checking a door before closing herself in a room. Laura’s mind was elsewhere, of course, and she hadn’t moved from her seat on the steps until he finished his repairs. Carmilla had excused herself rather immediately once Sherman had opened the door and while she graced Laura with one last look, it was hesitant and apologetic. 

The children returning with Mel distracted her for the remainder of the night and she managed to dodge her father’s worried questions before he left, but the nausea decided to keep her company into the twilight of the next morning.

—

Laura nursed a very hot cup of coffee, blowing on it every now and again, willing it to taste as good as her cocoa, but knowing it wouldn’t. She mused that maybe disappointment was content to stick next to her for a while longer. Still, coffee wasn’t terrible . The caffeine was always a nice boost, but cocoa was just so much more satisfying. Sighing, she took a sip… and immediately sucked in a pained breath. A burnt tongue for her efforts. Wonderful .

“Ms. Hollis?” 

If Laura hadn’t set the mug down, she likely would have accidentally tossed it right at the person who startled her: Ms. Karnstein. Not a great greeting for one’s boss, she knew, but neither was the less-than-gracious, “Mm?” she managed around her burnt tongue. Anxiety clenched at her heart, no longer the skipping pattern she’d gotten used to around the gorgeous woman.

There was that pesky Disappointment again… happily setting up camp right in her gut. Especially as Ms. Karnstein took the path around the kitchen island that would ensure she didn’t have to pass by Laura too closely. Laura didn’t think she necessarily minded at this moment as she would have likely done the same, but the simple fact that Carmilla felt the need to avoid close proximity to her stung. And that was before she layered on the reason why…

The tension was thick between them, hanging heavy on Laura’s shoulders as she tried to stare into the steaming mug. “How were the children this morning?” Ms. Karnstein tried, pouring herself a cup of coffee. 

“Good,” Laura answered noncommittally. She wasn’t trying to be distant or disrespectful, but of the thoughts in her head, most were telling her that a beautiful woman kissed her then called it a mistake. It was hard to dig up a reasonable answer around all that noise.

“About yesterday—”  It would seem Ms. Karnstein wasn’t one for dancing around an issue, much to Laura’s embarrassment.

In an effort to get it over with, Laura didn’t let her continue. She decided it might hurt less to say it herself instead of having to hear it. “A mistake. I know.”

Carmilla looked taken aback, but Laura surged forward, barely pausing for a breath in the words that spilled out. 

“I’m sorry, Ms. Karnstein, really. It was so unprofessional of me and you’re my boss and we were drinking. It wasn’t even that much but I don’t really drink often so it hit me pretty hard. I can’t even remember if you kissed me or I kissed you— but it was probably me because why would you want to k— nevermind. My point is, I’m sorry. It was a mistake, and I’m sorry.”

She could have stopped there. She should have stopped there… but the look that Ms. Karnstein gave her— something between bruised and tender— sent Laura into panic mode and suddenly she felt the need to back pedal. 

“I mean, the kiss itself was great,” Laura laughed awkwardly, knowing that was the wrong thing to say but having no control, “top ten on my list, for sure. But yeah, you know, you’re my boss and I nanny your kids and boundaries and stuff and I get it.” She forced a cheeriness into her tone but all it did was make her feel nauseous again. “It was a mistake.” Her heart felt stalled, weak. 

It seemed like Ms. Karnstein might wince or laugh, but Laura couldn’t meet her gaze long enough to be sure of either. What she was sure of is what Ms. Karnstein said on her way out. “A mistake. Right.” Laura was also sure that Ms. Karnstein looked back once to say, “I’m sorry too, Ms. Hollis.” She probably intended to make eye contact for that one, but Laura still couldn’t bring herself to do it. Great work, Hollis. Overachieving in the wrong direction.

It took another two days before Laura could properly look her boss in the eye, and by the middle of the week everything seemed back to normal between the two. Mostly.

At least, if normal was as comfortable as, say… a handful of leeches attached to your face. 

Their first real conversation after… The Incident … happened in the kitchen one early afternoon. (Where Laura was finding herself spending an alarming amount of time…) Laura had just glanced around to see if she was alone before shoving an entire cookie in her mouth just to see if she could. (She could, and the knowledge didn’t feel like the instant gratification she’d hoped for.)

Of course it was in that very moment that Ms. Karnstein rounded the corner. Laura practically choked and worked to chew the cookie as fast as humanly possible before she was noticed. As luck would have it, Ms. Karnstein’s attention was on the phone in her hand and she didn’t glance up until Laura coughed through the dryness of too large a swallow. Dying by cookie inhalation wouldn’t be the worst way to go, but it definitely wasn’t Laura’s first choice. Or tenth…

Quirking an eyebrow at Laura’s grimace, Ms. Karnstein paused. She watched Laura struggle for a moment, then the corner of her mouth twitched up in a smirk. “Ms. Hollis,” she said, coming to stand beside Laura as she poured herself some coffee. “Just who I wanted to see.”

Laura sipped at her cocoa and tried her best not to clear her throat for the nth time as she said, “Me?” It still felt like some cookie crumbs were lodged in her esophagus. 

“Mm, yes.” Ms. Karnstein sipped her coffee and leaned a hip against the counter, facing Laura who— while not entirely avoiding it— still didn’t want to make too much eye contact. “I thought about what you said…” she started, seeming to choose her words carefully.

Laura didn’t know she’d turned her head until Ms. Karnstein’s gaze was sinking into her, rooting her to the spot. And then Laura’s traitorous mouth let her words go before she could think about them. “That our kiss was a mistake?”

It was Ms. Karnstein’s turn to choke and attempt to clear her throat of the sip of coffee that surely tried to go down her trachea. “No, not that.” She coughed again. “I meant that I should try to attend Danny’s games.”

Laura’s heart, that had been moping so heavily in the pit of her stomach since the Incident , suddenly felt a little lighter. “Really?”

Ms. Karnstein braved another sip of her coffee, amusement turning up the edges of her lips as she drank. “I freed up my schedule for tomorrow’s game. I might be a little late, but I will be there.”

The light feeling in Laura’s heart grew a little more as they looked at one another. Danny would be so happy to have her mother at the game and Laura felt such relief that Ms. Karnstein actually listened and cared . 

“Actually, there was one other thing, Ms. Hollis…” Dread seeped into Laura’s veins. “I should have said this when we spoke the other day, but…” Her heart sank like a stone, light feeling gone. Ms. Karnstein sighed and broke her gaze, leaning an elbow on the counter and setting her coffee aside. Laura leaned against the counter too, both her hands holding her warm cocoa mug as anxiety chilled her fingers. 

When Ms. Karnstein didn’t continue, Laura did her best not to sigh her distress. Instead, she supplied a weak, “Yes?”

“Mistake was the wrong word.”

Laura’s breath caught in her throat. She chanced a glance at Ms. Karnstein, who still stared into her coffee. 

“I would consider it more of a… faux pas?” After seeing the look of confusion on Laura’s face, Ms. Karnstein pressed on. “Mistake is too harsh of a word. I feel as though it implies that the alcohol made the decision for me.” This time, Ms. Karnstein caught Laura’s eye. “The alcohol merely made it easier to step past the line I’d drawn.”

Brow furrowed, Laura tilted her head as she tried to really consider the implication. As it became clearer, a pink blush traveled up her neck, her heart easily skipping back into the tempo Ms. Karnstein’s presence often inspired. “So,” she tried, a crooked smile blooming on her lips, “when we… you wanted to …” Her brain was doing her mouth no favors, thoughts racing a bit too fast to be properly articulated. 

Ms. Karnstein bit her lip in a clear effort to stifle a laugh at Laura’s stumbling. She had to have known it would only make Laura worse, because she placed a gentle hand on Laura’s arm and leaned in a little closer. “Yes, I wanted to. Very much.”

Once more, Laura struggled to hold Ms. Karnstein’s gaze. Unable to hold back a nervous giggle, Laura smiled shyly. “So all these times I thought you might be flirting with me, you were… actually flirting with me…”

“Is that so hard to believe?” Ms. Karnstein asked, an eloquent eyebrow drawn up in curiosity. 

“Oh! Well, no, I mean… Well, yes? Sort of.” That was a lot of answers and none of them correct. Laura took in a sharp breath. “I just didn’t think you’d really be interested in me, so…”

“Ms. Hollis,” the smile Ms. Karnstein had as she met Laura’s eyes might have been one of the most genuine Laura had ever seen on the woman. “I’ve grown very fond of your company.” Laura’s breath was trapped in her lungs. “And I must admit, since the day we struck our original deal, something has inexplicably drawn me to you.”

Laura chewed at her lip, her eyes darting between her cocoa and her crush. Her thoughts ran wild. Carmilla was into Laura as much as Laura was into her. Her crush was requited. Wait, are crushes one sided? Is it not a crush anymore if the crushee becomes a crusher? Is it called something else? Oh Galifrey, how long have I been thinking and not saying anything? FRED and GEORGE, I’M STILL DOING IT. 

As ever, Carmilla seemed to know just how to get Laura flustered. Heat danced its way up Laura’s cheeks to warm her ears as Carmilla drifted closer. “Ms. Hollis?” She dared, smirking. Tentatively, she reached a hand out, pausing to see if Laura shied away. When she didn’t, Carmilla committed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Laura’s ear. 

Laura couldn’t look away now, her heart somehow stuck in her throat while simultaneously pounding in her ears. Was she leaning closer too? How did they go from an arm’s length apart to barely a handspan? Or better yet: when ? Biting her lip once more (and noting how Carmilla’s eyes slightly widened at the sight), Laura said, “I really like your company too.”

A moment passed between them, eyes locked, both smiling as the space between them seemed so slight and somehow too far. It was as if the world narrowed…

A few roads away, a siren sounded. Quick. Sharp. Likely an emergency vehicle trying to get through traffic, but the two stepped apart like opposing magnets. Carmilla cleared her throat and Laura wondered if the prickle she felt in her own might be the cookie crumbs from earlier. 

The quiet of the room grew as the siren faded into the distance, but then Carmilla huffed an exasperated laugh. She pinched the bridge of her nose before taking a deep breath and sighing it back out. Laura watched her, heart still hammering itself out of place. 

“Still…” Carmilla looked down at Laura, her eyes giving way to something sad and knowing. “Despite the…” A smirk played at the corner of her mouth as she tried to find the appropriate words, gesturing into the space between them. 

“Magnetism?” Laura supplied, unable to look away. It felt like she was being drawn right back in. A moth to a flame. The moon’s pull of the tide. 

“Exactly.” Carmilla looked a bit lost now, her eyes searching Laura’s for something unknown. “Despite the—” she took in a deep breath, “ clear attraction we have for each other, I don’t believe it’s in the best interest of the children.”

Ice suddenly rushed through Laura’s veins. Any heat that danced along her skin immediately cooled. The spell broken, she forced out a laugh, taking a step away from her boss. Her employer. The woman whose children she cared for… “Of course,” she said, giving the most genuine smile she could muster.  It was mostly natural. The logical side of her brain knew that Carmilla was absolutely right. But the other side hated the rejection, the intense torment of wanting something you couldn’t have. Something that apparently wanted you too . Logic did its best to shove the rejected feeling deep into her stomach. The children were important to Laura already. It took only a few days in their company for Laura to know that she would forever love them, regardless of her position in or out of their lives. Starting a relationship with their mother while she was their caretaker would only add stress on the family. And what if the relationship didn’t work and Laura still hadn’t landed her journalism job? It just wasn’t a good idea. But for all the good reasons and the justifiable why nots… it hurt . 

Carmilla didn’t look all that happy with herself and the thought made Laura feel the teensiest better. “I thought you might agree,” she said, nodding and busying herself with trying to wipe a lipstick mark from the edge of her coffee cup. 

Laura stepped back, sipping at her cocoa. “Thank you for being honest with me, Ms. Karnstein,” she managed, trying to lift her head to even just look in Carmilla’s direction, but finding it nearly impossible. Instead, she glanced at her watch and the time startled her. “I don’t mean to run out, but I’m picking LaFontaine up from school today.” She took a large gulp of her cocoa, put the cup on the counter, flashed a smile at the woman who so elegantly (and quite sensibly) rejected her, and promptly fled. She didn’t allow herself the time to even consider the look she may or may not have seen on Carmilla’s face.

Chapter Text

Five minutes before the puck dropped in Danny’s game, Laura felt someone slide gracefully into the seat beside her. Given that the surrounding seats were very much empty, Laura turned to tell the personal-space intruder to kindly shove off. The words immediately died in her throat when she saw who it was.

“Ms. Karnstein?” She asked, her breath floating away in a gentle puff of cool air. The heating in this arena wasn’t the best if the seats weren’t full of warm bodies, but it hardly bothered Laura at this point. 

“Ms. Hollis.” Carmilla nodded a greeting and looked out over the ice, searching through the players. “I’m glad to see I made it in time,” she said, glancing over to Laura before looking back to the center of the arena. 

Laura knew the moment Carmilla located Danny because everything about her lit up. Her eyes, her posture, her smile… She was glowing. Laura couldn’t help but grin herself and she did her best to ignore the way her heart skipped. It was better than the slightly nauseous feeling that had been kicking up whenever Carmilla was around, but still, Laura had really hoped to be over this crush by now. Sure, it had really only been days since she felt that hard sting of rejection (only to be given a glimmer of hope and then rejected once more yesterday…) but she was a reasonable woman… a critical thinking, strong woman who didn’t worry about things like feelings and crushes…

Honestly, Laura just hoped that the more she told herself that, the more it would come true. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that self-help pep-talk. (It wasn’t helping in the least.)

The moment Danny’s skates hit the ice, Laura felt Carmilla tense beside her. 

“It’s been a bit since I’ve really seen a game,” Carmilla confessed, her eyes locked on the tallest player—her daughter. “I might be a little rusty.”

“I’ll help where I can.” Laura wasn’t all that confident in her hockey knowledge, but surely she picked up a few things. “Would you like to know more about the team?”

“That would be a good start.”

Laura glanced at the ice and the bench, trying to remember the names and the numbers they belonged to. First she pointed to two defenders on the bench. “I think those two are Zimmerman and Bittle. Oh! The keeper is Fitzgerald! The team calls her F—”

Carmilla glanced her way in confusion, cutting her off. “Keeper?”

“Yeah! The one in the net!”

“Ah, in hockey she’s called a goaltender- goalie.” Right, right. Laura knew that. Probably. 

“Okay, the goalie , then… the team calls her Fitz, I think.”

“What’s her save percentage like?” 

Laura’s jaw worked for an answer, “uh… most… of the… time?” That wasn’t a percentage, of course, but it’s not like Laura was doing stats while trying to keep an eye on Danny. Should she have been? Who can keep count and watch the game at the same time when everyone is practically a blur?

Carmilla huffed a laugh, and clearly decided to take pity on her because she moved on, “Who’s Danny’s partner on the ice?”

“Uhm… Washing Machine!” 

That answer took Carmilla’s attention off the ice immediately. “I’m sorry, what?” If she’d looked confused before, now she looked positively bewildered. 

Laura was stuck. Oh, Merlin’s Beard, what was that girl’s name again? “It’s Danny’s best friend. I can’t remember her name… Giselle? Geraldine?” Danny talked about this girl all the time but only by her nickname. Laura wracked her brain. What kind of nanny didn’t know their kid’s best friend’s name!?

“Gisela? Gisela Schumacher?”

Laura practically jumped as it rang true. “Yes! That’s the one!”

“You… you called her ‘washing machine,’ Ms. Hollis, that’s not even close…” Carmilla’s voice was light with perplexed amusement as she looked back towards the starting game. Everyone was taking their positions. 

“That’s what the team calls her. Something about her name and sounding German, I don’t know!” Laura huffed indignantly and crossed her arms, unable to stop the childish pout from breaking through. 

Carmilla looked in deep thought for a moment and finally snapped her fingers. “Dishwasher.”

“Yeah!” Despite the fact that Carmilla was very right about the strange nickname, Laura wasn’t entirely sure how Carmilla had arrived at the correct answer. “Has Danny told you before or—?”

Chuckling a little, Carmilla shrugged a shoulder, her eyes still on the ice. “Geschirrspülmaschine,” she said matter-of-factly, as if Laura (or anyone listening) knew exactly what this word meant. Was it even a word? Maybe she sneezed and Laura just misunderstood? Should I say ‘bless you’ or…?

Instead, Laura accidentally opted for the ever-intelligent: “Wha?” Where was a hockey puck to the forehead when you really needed one? Nothing like sudden, unexpected unconsciousness to save you from looking like a complete idiot…

“It’s German,” Carmilla explained, which didn’t actually explain anything, but Laura had no opportunity to interrupt as Carmilla went on. “Well, I’m glad to hear she’s Danny’s partner, they’ve always had good chemistry.” Suddenly, both women were on the edge of their seats.

The puck dropped. Danny’s team won the faceoff and as usual, Laura’s cheer reverberated through the entire area. As soon as Danny had a second, she grinned up at Laura (as well as one could through a mouth guard, anyway), but faltered as her gaze drifted to Laura’s left. Her expression was unreadable as she turned her attention back to the game, but Laura worried that it wasn’t a happy one. 

Carmilla seemed to feel the same. Sighing, she leaned back and settled into her seat. “Who’s the speedy one?” She asked a few moments later, pointing to another player.

“Nguyen! She practically skates circles around everyone out here. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone faster, to be honest.”

“Is she a winger?”

“Um… she plays up towards the front. Usually in the center?”

“Oh, center, then. Interesting coaching choice.”

“I’m not entirely familiar with every player yet, but those are the ones Danny seems to play with most. And talk about the most.”

Carmilla didn’t ask many questions after that, but watched the entire game with rapt attention. Between the two of them, it was actually Laura who had the most questions and Carmilla answered them freely. For penalties and bad calls, Laura would jump to her feet (with the parents of Danny’s other teammates) and shout her frustrations, but Carmilla stayed seated, calm. It wasn’t until Danny made a miraculous goal— a player down and only minutes left— that Carmilla stood from her seat to clap. 

When they took their seats again, there was a grin on Carmilla’s face. “Defenders aren’t often known for scoring,” she said, leaning close so that Laura could hear her better through the clamor of the excited families. Laura felt the words warm against her ear and the press of Carmilla’s knee against her own. The chill of the sparsely-filled arena was so easily forgotten against Carmilla’s warmth. Or maybe it was the cheering and the clapping? Her heart was beating heavier now, so that would make her warmer, right? Yeah. Yeah, that made more sense. 

It definitely wasn’t the proud glow radiating off of Carmilla, or the excitement in her voice as she spoke that made Laura’s heart hammer.

“Danny loves playing defense but she’s got this knack for scoring under pressure that I’ve just never seen before.” Laura couldn’t take her eyes off of that radiance until the horn sounded, marking the end of the game. Carmilla leaned away then to stand and clap and Laura followed suit, smiling herself as the team surrounded Danny and cheered their victory. One of her teammates managed to grab her in a bear hug and swing her around until they stumbled and then the whole team climbed on for the happy dog-pile. 

Laura led Carmilla to the area where the parents usually waited for their kids to come out from the locker rooms.  Carmilla was catching up with Gees— Gush—ugh— Dishwasher ’s parents when Danny finally came through the heavy door. The laughing grin Danny had on her face as she spoke with her best friend fell as her eyes landed on her mother. 

Laura looked between the two as she heard Dishwasher’s father practically sing “Geesehlaaaah” as he happily spun the girl around in a fierce hug. She filed that away for later, hoping it would help her remember the girl’s name. The Schumachers said their polite goodbyes and left the Karnsteins and their nanny to the growing tension. 

“Ms. Laura talked you into coming, I see.” Danny said, hoisting her bag higher on her shoulder. Laura immediately felt guilt heavy on her shoulders. Had she read this wrong?

“Ms. Hollis has been kind enough to send me videos of your last few games and I—,” Carmilla looked at Laura briefly, “I thought it would be a shame to miss any more.” She looked as if she meant to say more, but Danny cut her off with a scoff. 

The flash of anger on Carmilla’s face went unnoticed by the teen, but Laura jumped in before Carmilla could reprove her. Could have been a wrong move on her part, sure, but she wanted this interaction to move in a positive direction and a scolding wouldn’t do that. “Danny!” She exclaimed, pulling the star-player into a fierce hug. “Your goal!”

Danny immediately flushed red and tried to shrug nonchalantly. 

Laura stepped back and grinned, starting to gush. “Oh my gosh , Danny, that goal you made was so cool! Nguyen was in time out—”

“In the penalty box,” Danny sighed, as if she’d done this so many times before. Carmilla huffed a quiet laugh. 

“—right— and then you broke away with the puck and we were all so shocked! But then you dribbled it—”

“Stickhandled,” Carmilla corrected softly, pinching the bridge of her nose, an exasperated smirk on her lips. Danny laughed this time.

“Stickhandled! Right! You stickhandled it right down the line and you nutmegged the keeper!? ” Laura practically threw her arms out in her excitement. She didn’t have to know all about hockey to know that move was insane. 

Carmilla and Danny stared at her, entirely dumbfounded for a moment before both of them burst into laughter. “What!?” Danny managed through her mirth. “I did what!? ” Carmilla looked as though she struggled for a breath. 

Laura looked between them both, feeling a little sheepish but smiling nonetheless. “You know… you put the puck between her feet…” She stood with her feet apart, as if she were a keeper herself, and gestured between her legs. “And you scored! It was amazing!” She was grinning again as the two Karnsteins both wiped tears from their eyes, their laughter finally dying down. 

Carmilla seemed to recover first. “Ms. Hollis,” she started, biting her lip to keep a chuckle at bay, “That would be called scoring five-hole.”

Rolling her eyes and fighting a laugh herself, Laura faked a pout and said, “How was I supposed to know that? We call it a nutmeg in soccer.”

The word ‘nutmeg’ sent Danny into another bout of laughter, and the other two couldn’t help but join her.

“I don’t know how Five Hole —,” Laura started to sass them, but a call from behind pulled her attention away.

“Miss Hollis?” It was Danny’s coach, waving as she jogged up. She took notice of Danny and Carmilla as she approached and seemed a bit surprised. “Danny,” she said, grinning, “Fantastic game, kid.”

Danny smiled back and shrugged off the compliment. 

The coach reached a hand out to Carmilla. “Mrs. Karnstein,” she said, nodding as Carmilla shook it, “I’m Allison. Allison York. We haven’t had the pleasure of meeting since I took over the team this year.”

“Hello.” It was all Carmilla offered and Laura glanced at her, a little perplexed. Sure, it’s not as if she’d really seen Carmilla interact with anyone outside of the house but was she really of so little words with new people? Didn’t she have questions ? Didn’t she want to know more about the woman who taught her daughter? What about—

“Ms. Hollis,” Allison said, drawing Laura back from her thoughts. “Could I speak to you privately for a moment?”

Laura glanced at the perplexed faces of both Carmilla and Danny before following Allison. They stopped just out of earshot of any lingering players or parents. 

“Thank you,” Allison said, a shy smile on her face. “Ms. Hollis, um… or Lau— can I call you Laura?”

Puzzled, Laura replied, “I’d prefer that, to be honest.”

Allison’s smile grew a little. “Okay. Laura.” She said it as though she needed to test it out. As though Laura might suddenly change her mind. It just made Laura think of someone stepping on the first plank of a rickety bridge, unsure if it would fall out from under them. The fact that Allison just kept looking into Laura’s eyes and said nothing else gave Laura the impression that she’d missed something. The silence was getting uncomfortable. 

“Yep,” she said, glancing quickly towards Carmilla and Danny, noticing that they looked away from her in unison. They were definitely talking about something, leaning in close to each other. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them that close. Like ever. “Is… is that all you needed, Coach Allison?” Laura tried.

Allison blinked a few times and a blush rose on her cheeks. “Oh, no, I’m sorry— am I… am I keeping you? Do you need to…?” She motioned back towards Danny and Carmilla, her eyebrows up in worry. 

The awkwardness just grew in Laura’s throat, like she’d swallowed a jagged rock. “No, no, it’s just—” Laura sighed and tried to smile. “What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”

Where Laura was used to hearing Allison’s booming voice over the team in practice and in games, she was surprised to hear the nervous quality it held now. With an almost quivering tone, Allison asked, “I know we haven’t had many conversations since you started bringing Danny to practice but uh… well,” she cleared her throat and seemed to gather herself up. “I wondered if I could ask you to dinner tomorrow.”

Laura stared. This was not what she had expected at all. “Dinner?” Was all she managed to get out. 

The confidence Allison had gathered waned a little. “If that’s not too forward of me to ask. I—” she cleared her throat again, “To be honest I haven’t ever asked a guardian of any of my players out before and if this is too much, I’m sorry—”

Before she could think too hard on it, Laura blurted, “Yes. Yes I—” A look of panic hit Allison’s face, “No! I mean— Yes to dinner! Not… not yes to you being too— I’m sorry.” Laura brought her palm to her forehead. This whole thing was embarrassing. She took a deep breath. “Yes, I would love to go to dinner with you, Allison.” Coach Allison seemed wrong in these circumstances, but Laura had a feeling she was going to slip up anyway. 

Allison’s grin didn’t fade as they exchanged numbers. It didn’t fade as she walked back with Laura. It didn’t fade even as she bid Carmilla and Danny goodnight, before looking at Laura a little too long and practically whispering that she’d text the details later. 

Laura found that Carmilla and Danny were staring at her. “What?” She asked nonchalantly. 

“What did Coach want?” Danny asked, her eyes flicking to Allison’s retreating form and back. 

A flush of embarrassment warmed Laura’s ears. She said yes but she hadn’t thought as far as what she’d tell Danny or the woman she kissed a few days ago. “Dinner,” Laura answered as simply as she could, smiling like it wouldn’t be a problem. She hoped it wouldn’t be a problem. 

She was wrong. Danny was immediately tense, her eyes hard, and her fists clenched. “She asked you out?” Laura didn’t even have a chance to answer before she stalked off towards the arena’s main exit. 

That awkward swallowed-rock feeling Laura had earlier hadn’t really gone away and now it was feeling a little larger. She looked up at Carmilla who was watching Danny walk away. “I can turn her down,” she offered. If she was honest with herself, she wasn’t even sure why she’d said yes. 

A smile Laura didn’t immediately recognize lingered on Carmilla’s lips. “That’s not necessary, Ms. Hollis.” Carmilla looked at her then, her gaze flickering between Laura’s eyes, almost like she was searching them. “Your social life isn’t beholden to my family. So long as you continue to do your work, I don’t see why you should turn Coach York down. Unless, of course, she made you feel that you couldn’t…?”

Laura shook her head. “No, not at all. It’s just— Danny seems…”

“Danny will be fine, Ms. Hollis.” Carmilla said it with such certainty, Laura thought she should feel better… but she didn’t. And it wasn’t until someone called out to Carmilla that Laura recognized the smile she’d been given. 

As Carmilla said hello to a parent she’d apparently not seen since last season, she maintained that same smile.

Laura felt the prick of a needle slide into her heart when she realized what it was:

Distance. 

—

Dinner was at 7.

A pressing matter was that Laura wasn’t sure what to wear. 

A more pressing matter is that Danny wasn’t really speaking to her. Laura tried to talk to her the night before, but Danny said the game wore her out and she went to bed. Then after school, she’d called Laura to let her know she’d be studying for a test at Dishwasher’s house and wouldn’t be home until around 10. 

At 4, Laura stood in the doorway of her closet, frowning, trying to solve at least one of the issues at hand. If Carmilla was right, Danny would come around. But how long would that take? And would their relationship go back to the way it was? Laura figured she had that sort of older-sister mixed with responsible-but-cool-aunt vibe going. Was that ruined by dating Danny’s hockey coach? And it was just one dinner. The word date wasn’t even mentioned…

At least, it hadn’t been until shortly thereafter when Laura received a text that clearly said:

Coach York [4:28 PM] I’m excited for our date!

Laura sighed and flopped backwards on her bed, tossing her phone against a pillow. She hadn’t lied to Carmilla when she’d said she didn’t feel pressured into the date, but she herself couldn’t figure out exactly the reason she’d said yes. Was Allison attractive? Absolutely, she was. Years of hockey gave Allison quite the athletic build and Laura would be lying to say she hadn’t noticed . Allison had a charming smile, was fantastic with the team, seemed really kind, and Laura genuinely found her, well, to be frank… hot as hell. She sighed again. So what in the name of Themyscira is my problem?

Immediately, something came to mind. An image and the feelings it provoked, rushing over her skin in a fraction of the heat the original moment produced. 

A cool basement. Carmilla’s warm breath against her lips before she leaned in. Laura’s fingers itching to lace themselves into Carmilla’s hair. The dark eyes that looked so deeply into hers. 

Heart suddenly thundering, Laura grunted her frustration and sat up. This is why she said yes to a date. She and Carmilla had both agreed that they needed to do what was best… and what was best was staying away. What was best sucked because all Laura wanted to do was drag her— no. Nope. Bad Hollis.  

A date with a hot hockey coach would make this crush fizzle out like fireworks in the rain. Yep. Totally. 

She sent back a text of ‘me too!!!’ with a smiley face for emphasis. (Nausea could come from excitement, right? Right.) Then she stood and faced her closet with a determined huff. 

It was time to find something to wear. 

In thirty minutes that mostly consisted of dissatisfied sighs and scoffs, Laura settled on a classy black dress. The front had a high neck, but the back was cut in a way that showed off her shoulders and dipped all the way to just above the small of her back. She wouldn’t claim to be the most self-confident in her general appearance but she knew years of yoga had given her some fine definition to her lats. Why waste an opportunity to show off well-earned muscles? Unless maybe the dress was too formal?

A sudden knock startled Laura out of her thoughts.

Mel’s usual disinterested stare met her as she opened her bedroom door. “You forgot your heels in the kitchen,” she said, shoving a pair of shoes into her hands before walking off. Looking down, Laura noticed that these were her favorite pair and wondered if this was Mel’s form of a nice gesture. “Shoes don’t belong in my kitchen,” Mel said loudly from the top of the stairs at the end of the hall. “If I find them there again, Hollis, I’ll burn them.”

Okay, maybe not. 

Suddenly, Carmilla’s voice from her left said, “She won’t actually burn them.”

Startled, Laura dropped the heels. Mel’s voice—fading as she descended the stairs— called back, “Yes, I will!”

The point of one of the heels hit Laura right in the tendon of her bare foot and she hissed, grabbing it to rub at the sore spot. 

“I didn’t mean to startle you, Ms. Hollis,” Carmilla tried not to laugh, ducking to grab Laura’s shoes from the floor. 

Laura managed to hop-hobble to the edge of her bed and plopped down rather unceremoniously, trying to cradle her foot while also keeping her legs firmly together. Carmilla had already seen the top half of this particular lingerie set and there was no need to show her the other half.

Yet . 

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey now, none of that. She tried not to instantly blush at the very unhelpful, mistaken, foolish part of her mind that threw that word in. Instead, she rubbed the bruising spot on her foot with her thumb and looked up, offering Carmilla a small smile. “Hey,” she said softly, not bothering to feel weird about the informality. She had more important things to feel weird about right now. 

Depositing the shoes on the floor by the bed, Carmilla stepped back and leaned against Laura’s dresser, arms crossed. “Hey,” she replied easily. Her eyes drifted over Laura appreciatively, not bothering to hide it. “Ready for your date?” she asked.

Heat danced up Laura’s neck under Carmilla’s gaze and she had to look away. “Yeah,” she managed, “I think so.” She paused, chancing a glance up at Carmilla before reaching for her heels. “Coming to check on me?”

“Not at all,” Carmilla replied with a smirk. “I was just seeing if you were putting on another spontaneous serenade.” She glanced around like there might be a poorly-hidden clue in the room.

Laura’s blush rose higher, but she felt a spark of challenge. “Is that right?” She said, her tone as easy as Carmilla’s. It was hard to fight the smile, but she managed. “Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you but the laundry has already been put away. You’ll have to check back another day.” She chose not to think of the details behind inviting her boss to come back on a day that she might be singing to her underwear again, lest she spontaneously combust. Can’t win the banter if you combust…

The smirk grew into a smile on Carmilla’s lips and Laura was certain she won. The banter? No. Just the prize. Wow, gay much? Tone it down, Hollis.

“You looked nervous,” Carmilla admitted, not meeting Laura’s eyes, but effectively pulling her out of her thoughts anyway. Her tone was back to that reserved distance Laura recognized from the night before. “Earlier,” she added when Laura didn’t respond right away. 

The smile was gone, but Laura’s eyes still lingered on Carmilla’s mouth. “Nervous?” She asked, lost about the topic. Suddenly, it clicked. “Oh! I’m, well,” she paused, glancing down at herself, “a little?” 

Carmilla’s gaze traced her again before she motioned for Laura to stand. “Where is she taking you?” As Laura stood and slipped her heels on, Carmilla walked around her like an appraiser might. 

Trying to recall the texts from earlier in the day, Laura bit her lip. “The… Le Mont?”

From behind her, Carmilla asked, “She’s taking you to Le Mont?” The tone of her voice was strange, a hint of something sharp Laura hadn’t heard yet. Was it… biting? Caustic? Maybe it was nothing… but still. 

Laura glanced over her shoulder, turning a little to catch Carmilla’s eye better. “Yes… is that a problem?” 

A realization crossed Carmilla’s expression and the sight of it made Laura smirk. “Well, no,” she said, her eyes drifting from Laura’s mouth, down her back, and up again. “It’s just…”

Turning to fully face her, Laura felt the fire from their little back and forth earlier start to rekindle. Confidence feeding the smirk on her lips, Laura teased, “No need to be jealous, Ms. Karnstein.” The boundaries had been set days ago and they’d kept to them, of course. But if Carmilla could flirt about seeing Laura and her underwear (not in it! ) then Laura could certainly return fire. 

This time, Carmilla’s realization took the form of a single eyebrow raised in question and Laura’s confidence immediately felt its foundation shake. As Carmilla’s smile— a self-assured slant—  settled in its rightful place, Laura felt her own weaken. “It’s not jealousy, Ms. Hollis,” she said. Her voice was low but not yet a whisper. There was a huskiness there that made Laura’s breath want to stall in her throat. Carmilla stepped forward, eyes raking over Laura once more. She would have likely caught on fire if not for Carmilla’s next words. “I just think you may be overdressed.”

It was the Ice Bucket Challenge, but in words. A glacier-sized embarrassment crashing over her like she was the coach who won some kind of pro-bowl sport-game nonsense. She was certainly trying for a gold medal in the Embarrassing Yourself in Front of Your Hot Boss games. World Champion. Space was probably still cold this time of eon, maybe that black hole was coming by to do her a favor? No?

Still not so lucky. 

“Oh?” Was all Laura could manage. Part of her wished to become a statue right where she stood, forever an example to the future of how not to flirt with hot women. Or your boss. Whatever it would take to get her out of her self-inflicted humiliation.

Carmilla’s eyes were alight with amusement and Laura felt that, well… at least one of them should be having fun. But the smile on Carmilla’s face was disarming and it eased her discomfort just a little. “Mm,” she affirmed, stepping back to look over Laura once more. “A dress like that isn’t fit for Le Mont. It's far too…” Carmilla always seemed so considerate of her words, so thoughtful and gracious… 

It sucked. 

“Too…?” Laura was growing impatient. How long did she have to wait to hear the unintentional insult?  I mean, really…

“Elegant,” Carmilla decided. 

Laura’s eyebrows shot up. “Elegant?” Well that wasn’t what she expected at all… “Okay, well… if this dress isn’t fit for Le Mont, what would it be fit for?”

The way Carmilla eyed her in that moment made Laura’s skin warm. Again. (At this rate she was sure she’d go into shock. How much would a body switch between ice and fire before it finally decided to give up?) 

“A dress like that is for… warm summer nights under the stars. Waltzing, I think. Maybe on a rooftop? And…” Carmilla’s eyes sparkled, “champagne.”

Laura was pretty sure her own eyes were sparkling at that. The distance she feared from earlier seemed to have melted away and Laura wondered how to keep Carmilla’s genuine smile from retreating again. “Wow, all that from a dress?” She glanced down and absently smoothed the soft fabric over her thigh. A selfish part of her wanted to dare Carmilla to validate that claim. How could she really know Carmilla’s dress-whispering skills were up to snuff if she didn’t confirm the theory? (LaF would be proud…) Laura was the kind of woman who needed solid proof to back up her facts. She was a journalist, for Bly’s sake. 

If Carmilla’s idea of a night out was that enticing, now Laura was afraid that anything Allison came up with tonight would be… dull.

Her irritating need to do what was right won out, though. 

(She was too smart to fall prey to her own self-inflicted mind games. Using journalism as an excuse to go on a no-doubt totally enchanting, wonderful, magical evening with a woman you’re supposed to be on purely professional terms with? Have some integrity, Hollis.)

Ugh . Not letting her conflicting emotions show (despite the fact that they felt like a shoulder angel and devil wrestling for the champion’s belt), Laura glanced into her closet. “Well, if this dress says champagne and waltzing, what would you choose for Le Mont?”

Carmilla tilted her head toward the closet, asking permission to browse, and Laura waved a hand in consent. She seemed to consider a few different options before ultimately passing on them. Laura enjoyed watching Carmilla’s thoughts play out in her expressions and tried not to laugh when Carmilla came across things she clearly didn’t know what to do with. (Okay, so maybe Laura had a few Dr. Who onsies and a Santa pajama set in there. It wasn’t like she expected anyone else to be looking!) 

Finally, Carmilla pulled out another black dress and held it out towards Laura. This one was a bit more casual, but Laura could agree that it maintained an elegance. The dress was sleeveless with a lace neckline and the skirt had a large flower print. “I think this would suit both you and Le Mont quite well for the evening.”

Laura took the dress and laid it on the bed, reaching up to undo the clasp and short zipper at the back of her neck. When she noticed Carmilla hadn’t turned away, she paused. It’s not that Carmilla was looking at her in any specific way; if anything, it was more like she was looking through Laura, as though deep in thought. Still, Laura didn’t exactly feel comfortable stripping down when she wasn’t even wearing a bra…

“Aiming for some retaliation?” She teased quietly, glancing at Carmilla over her shoulder, her hands still on the zipper. At the look of realization on Carmilla’s face— her focus returning— Laura gestured for her to turn away. 

Carmilla complied, but the smirk she wore made Laura’s heart flip because of course it did . Despite Laura’s bravery in teasing the woman who signed her paycheck with a barb that bordered on indecent, she was really thankful Carmilla didn’t return fire. As she worked at the zipper— it was jammed or something— she thought about how much a quip to the effect of, ‘well, you’ve seen me naked’ would likely be an instant K.O. She didn’t need to be reminded. She was ashamed enough as it was that sometimes it would just pop into her head, completely uninvited. Though, not unwelc— No! Not going there. Wow, this zipper is really…

Her grip on the zipper slipped and somehow caught her nail. She hissed and checked the nail for damage. None that she could see, but it still hurt. Sighing, she switched hands and tried again. No budge. Oh boy… there wasn’t even a way to pull the dress over her head with the neck being more like a choker. How the heck was she going to get this off?

After a long moment and a lack of shuffling fabric, Carmilla spoke up from where she faced the closet. “Everything okay? I believe I heard some sighing?”

“Yes, I’m— no. No, I think I need a hand. The zipper is stuck.” Laura sighed heavily and faced Carmilla, who wore the same smirk she’d turned away with. Heat crept up Laura’s neck and reached for the tips of her ears. 

“There’s no need to be embarrassed,” Carmilla said quietly, stepping behind Laura to get a better look at the offending piece of steel. As she gripped the zipper pull, her fingers ghosted over the back of Laura’s neck. “I’m happy to help.”

The breath in Laura’s lungs stalled, her muscles tight. Something about Carmilla being so close— the brush of her fingers, her breath tickling Laura’s skin— Laura’s mind was an instant mess. She needed to say something, to fill the air instead of letting it fall silent. Silence would lead to thoughts and thoughts would lead to movement and movements would lead to— nope. Already going down a bad path— 

Say something, Hollis! Girl the hell up! Say something! “Yes, I’m sure you have no trouble getting women out of their dresses.”

Not that!! What the frickin frack was that!? What was it with her ridiculous need to embarrass herself at every opportunity!? What had she done in a past life to deserve this and how soon could she repent?

Carmilla’s soft chuckle from behind her instantly brought her heart into her throat. She felt a pull at the zipper. “No, I can’t say I’ve ever struggled with that before.” One tug. Another. At the third, Carmilla’s fingers slipped and Laura froze. 

A soft caress of knuckles slid from between her shoulders to the middle of her back. It took every ounce of Laura’s will to suppress a shiver and she failed miserably. Starting in her shoulders and trailing down, she shuddered and Carmilla’s hand fell away. 

Instead of drawing attention to that… slip… Carmilla‘s tone was low as she said, “I suppose there is a first for everything.” 

Laura could hear the smile, but didn’t dare turn around. She already knew she was red from head to toe, but she was sure that meeting Carmilla’s eyes would be the moment her heart stopped. 

“Come,” Carmilla insisted, taking Laura by the shoulders and guiding her to sit on the bed. “I think I need a different angle.”

As she sat on the edge of the bed, Laura’s breath hitched. She was supposed to be getting ready for a date with a beautiful woman and instead of focusing on that, her mind was an absolute mess over the woman leaning over her. The woman who was currently trying to help her out of her clothing. In her room. On her bed . Laura felt like laughing at the irony. Instead, she kept her eyes away from the view barely a foot away from her face: Carmilla’s chest. (There wasn’t a whole lot to see under Carmilla’s blazer, but there wasn’t nothing either…) It felt weird to stare.

Carmilla’s next attempts were futile as she leaned over Laura. Huffing quietly, she put a knee up beside Laura’s hip to get better leverage. “This is really stuck,” she mumbled, Laura barely able to hear it. A bit louder she said, “I’m going to try to force it, but I’m a little nervous it may break.”

As calmly as she could (which was not at all), Laura said, “Okay.”

Carmilla pulled and pulled hard. Laura felt the fabric tug at her neck uncomfortably and she leaned back a little to relieve the pressure. A frustrated huff came from above her and Carmilla shifted to adjust a little more. “I think it’s about to—”

The move was just enough to pull Laura off balance and as Carmilla’s hand slipped from the zipper pull, Laura wasn’t able to brace herself as they both toppled down onto the bed. 

When Laura opened her eyes she saw something she’d yet only dreamed of. (A woman kisses you like that and it’s not like you’re never gonna dream about it.) Carmilla hovered over her, hands braced on either side of Laura’s head. Laura’s knees hung off the edge of the bed, but somehow in the fall, Carmilla was now practically straddling her hips.

Carmilla’s eyes were open too, searching Laura’s for something. “Are you alright?” She practically whispered, her brows pulled together in worry. 

Laura looked up at Carmilla. This close (and very sober) she was able to see how deep and how rich the color of her eyes were. Whatever lipstick or lip stain Carmilla had put on earlier in the day was fading, but no less stunning. Laura wondered if it would come off more if she just… No!

The irony was too much: Get a crush on your boss. Kiss her. Mutually decide it can’t work out. Find someone else so you go on a date to help get this woman out of your bed—HEAD! Out of your head! And now your boss-crush is straddling you in your bed. What the hell kind of play is this, Universe?

She still hadn’t answered Carmilla, and really only a half a moment had passed. But she couldn’t help herself. Laura laughed. 

It started as a stifled giggle, something she tried to hide, but it couldn’t be contained. In seconds it burst from her into the kind of laugh that brought tears to her eyes and she was pinned in such a way she couldn’t wipe them away. 

Carmilla was shocked at first, a confused smile on her face. But as Laura’s laugh erupted, she couldn’t seem to stop her own laughter either. 

They laughed together for a few moments and Carmilla shifted to give Laura the opportunity to free one of her hands. Neither seemed to notice that Carmilla didn’t take the opportunity to move further. Instead, they laughed together until they tired out their lungs. 

“Sorry to break your streak,” Laura teased, wiping the tears from the corner of her eyes as she gasped for air. 

“Break my streak?” Carmilla raised that oh-so-perfect eyebrow in a challenge, her chest heaving as she too tried to gain her breath. “Think again.” 

Eyes wide, Laura put her free hand to the back of her neck. Loose. Unzipped. She laughed again and Carmilla smiled with her. “Does it normally take that much work?” Laura wasn’t really thinking about her words anymore. How could she when those brown eyes held her captive? Besides the blush coloring her skin, Laura could feel the heat in every place Carmilla was pressed against her. It was a satisfying sort of feeling and yet still it wasn’t nearly enough. 

“No,” Carmilla answered quietly, her smile slanting into something a bit more confident while her eyes drifted down to Laura’s mouth.

Laura felt like the tide again, pulled when the moon demanded. She wanted to lean in, it wouldn’t take much to—

Carmilla’s gaze snapped to the door suddenly as she pushed herself up and further away. Confused, Laura glanced up from her position on the bed. 

Oh no. It was Mel. Mel was in the doorway. Mel was smirking. Oh no. Oh no. Laura didn’t need to be right side up to know that Mel thought this scene was most interesting. Okay, sure, they were kind of friends but their boss was just straddling Laura on her bed and they probably almost just kissed again and being ‘kind of friends’ didn’t promise any kind of loyalty… and just— oh no.

Before either of them got up, Mel spoke. “I won’t ask for a raise this year if you let me tell Ms. Turner about this.” Her smirk was playful—mischievous. Laura felt so confused. 

Carmilla stood and offered a hand to Laura, helping to pull her up. Laura at least remembered to press her hand to her chest to keep the dress from falling forward and embarrassing her further. 

“You’ll do no such thing,” Carmilla sighed, straightening out her blazer. Mel was clearly displeased at this, but Carmilla only chuckled. “As though Elsie would believe you for one second.” She turned to Laura. “Are you really alright, Ms. Hollis? I didn’t hurt you?”

As Laura shook her head, she couldn’t help but look over at Mel who had a thoughtful frown as she muttered, “I knew I should have snapped a photo.”

Clearing her throat, Carmilla nodded to Laura and made her way to the door. “Mel and I will excuse ourselves so that you can finish getting ready, Ms. Hollis.” Ignoring Mel’s eyeroll, she ushered her out the door and closed it behind them. 

Laura had enough foresight to step to the door to lock it. (This whole knock and enter within a millisecond thing needed to not be a thing.) The two must have thought the doors were more soundproof than was reality, because Laura clearly heard Mel ask, “So, do you wanna talk about that or…?”

Along with Carmilla’s clear response of, “No.”

They were out of earshot after that and Laura was left alone with her thoughts and her feelings, both of which centered around a dark-haired goddess with darker eyes and—. Great . Awesome. Hadn’t even started the date and she was already fantasizing about someone else. Ugh. 

Laura changed and did her best to not think about her employer inappropriately, and instead think about her upcoming date (which was about as successful as getting LaF to stop playing with fire and start sitting quietly). It was on her way out the front door that she caught sight of Danny, Carmilla, and Mel in the study. Their conversation was hushed, maybe a little pensive. Was something wrong? Was Danny okay? She definitely needed to check before she left. And if it delayed her a little that was fine! Totally fine.

As she reached the study’s threshold, the click of her heels echoing through the foyer, all three looked up at her. 

“Hey,” she greeted, tilting her head a little to meet Danny’s gaze. Danny kept her eyes on the carpet, toeing at a piece of fuzz. 

Before she could ask anything, Carmilla spoke. “Ms. Hollis,” she said, her eyes drifting over Laura much like they had earlier. “That is much better. What do you think?”

Laura looked down at herself, smoothed an upturned hem, and glanced back at Carmilla. “I suppose I won’t know until I get there.”

Danny glanced up at Carmilla and turned like she was going to leave out the door towards the other side of the study. “This is stupid,” she muttered. Before she could walk away, Carmilla snagged her arm and gave her a firm look.

Just then, Elsie walked in through the door Danny was aiming for. The smile she wore at seeing Carmilla faded instantly when she set her eyes on Laura. 

“I hear you have a date,” Elsie said. There was a sweet smile on her lips, but Laura would have bet money that it was more likely to have been stapled on than real. The way Elsie looked her up and down then felt a lot like a judgment and Laura suppressed a grossed-out shiver. Over Elsie’s shoulder she could see Carmilla speaking quietly to Danny and she intended, once more, to ask what was going on. Elsie interrupted this time. “Ah, how… cute. She’ll just want to pinch your cheek, won’t she?”

It took Laura a lot of effort to keep her hands from clenching into fists at that backhanded compliment. 

Mel, who had remained a quiet spectator up to that point, began to play her favorite game: Messing with Elsie. “Yes, Ms. Karnstein has impeccable taste, doesn’t she?”

Elsie’s skin paled, her lips tightening against her teeth. “Carmilla?” 

Laura couldn’t help herself but join the game, so thankful to Mel for introducing her. “Ah, yes! She picked this dress out for me earlier.” She may have added a little hip twist for emphasis so that her dress twirled a bit. 

As Elsie looked like she might have swallowed a handful of nails, Mel took the opportunity to step closer. Whispering so that only Elsie (and maybe fortuitously Laura) could hear, she added, “And helped to get her out of the other one.”

“What!?” Elsie hissed.

“So giving of her time and energy,” Mel finished with a solemn nod. It took everything Laura had to keep from laughing and act like she didn’t hear. Normally she’d be completely embarrassed by the insinuation that she was sleeping with her boss, but something about the way Elsie had been so rude to her made this feel more satisfying than anything else.

Laura and Mel suddenly turned their attention to Carmilla and Danny as the two turned back to the group, seemingly completely unaware of the conversation that was had in their absence. Elsie side-eyed Laura sharply and Laura wondered briefly if she might spontaneously combust– which would be a major downer before a date. (But would get her out of said date… not that she wanted to be out of it, of course!) 

“Ms. Hollis, honestly, you look beautiful,” Carmilla said. Laura felt her cheeks warm, but noticed the smile on Carmilla’s face wasn’t the same sort she wore earlier. It was almost a little upsetting, but then the smile she was hoping for broke through a little as Carmilla put on a thoughtful look and said, “I trust you had an easier time getting into this one than out of the other?”

Laura couldn’t help but grin at the comment. Apparently, Carmilla closed the distance a little for the purposes of teasing . Rolling her eyes, she said, “Much easier, thank you.” The stiffness in Elsie’s shoulders spoke volumes. Mel even gave the slightest ‘I told you so’ smile and shrugged. Not finding any of this amusing, Elsie excused herself and practically stormed out of the study and tragically, no one but Laura seemed to notice.

Carmilla nudged Danny the tiniest bit and Laura’s smile fell to worry. What was going on with her?

“I hope you have fun tonight, Ms. Laura,” Danny said, looking much like a child forced to eat their least favorite vegetable. 

“Thank you, Danny.” Laura tried to hide her confusion, but she was never that great of a liar to begin with.

“Mel can drive you this evening, Ms. Hollis.”

Laura felt instantly sheepish, her worries about Danny set on the backburner, but not removed. “That’s okay, really. Totally not necessary.” Looking over at Mel was useless as the woman was right back to her normal bored expression, looking neither pleased nor perturbed. “I was hoping to–” She tried to catch Danny’s eye again but Carmilla caught hers instead, giving the sublest of head shakes, discouraging Laura from pressing.

It was strange, admittedly, that Carmilla might have more insight into Danny’s feelings this time. Days ago, Laura was the confidant. Not that she wasn’t happy that Danny trusted her mother but…

“I will bring the car around,” Mel said as she made her way from the study, disrupting Laura’s thoughts. Danny and Carmilla excused themselves as well, leaving before Laura could even say more than goodnight.

Within minutes she was in the back of the town car, looking out the window but seeing nothing. Her head felt messy, like a filing cabinet had exploded and the papers that were her thoughts were scattered about without anyone to clean them up. Other than her extreme and terrible crush on her boss, all of her other worries were stemming from this dinner with Coach Allison. But something so simple, so non-important didn’t seem like a plausible reason for all of this… mess. But clearly something was going on.

“Want me to turn around?”

Laura practically jumped out of her seat at the interruption of her thoughts. Mel chuckled and briefly regarded her through the rear-view mirror.

“You look miserable. You sure you want to go on this date?”

Laura sighed and looked at her hands. “I’m not sure, honestly.”

Mel was quiet for a moment, as though she was waiting for Laura to say more. When Laura didn’t, she filled in the silence, “Well, if nothing else comes from this date of yours, I really enjoyed getting to tell Ms. Turner about your dress troubles.”

Laughter bubbled up from Laura’s chest as she thought about the tight, pinchy face Elsie had made while she stomped out. “You really did, didn’t you?” Something poked a little at her thoughts about that interaction: Elsie’s clear displeasure, her irritation at Laura’s mere presence, the way she looked at Carmilla when she thought no one was looking… It broke through so suddenly that Laura practically shouted. “Mel! Oh my goodness! MEL!”

The car wobbled a little before Mel glared back at Laura through the mirror. “Hey! Watch it! Maybe don’t distract the driver!” She huffed at Laura’s sheepish look before turning back to the road. “What, wha– Okay, why are you looking like you just unlocked a secret room?”

Laura couldn’t keep down the smile at her discovery. “So…” she said, trying to act casual as she picked a fuzz off the seat beside her. “How long has Elsie had eyes for Ms. Karnstein?”

Mel’s laugh was loud and rang through the car, causing Laura to grin that much more. “Day one,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Much like you.”

“Wha–” Laura’s mouth hung open, indignantly. She huffed and crossed her arms. “Okay, fine. So why are you so mean to her and not as mean to me?”

Mel looked at her through the small mirror like she was a complete idiot. “I like her less.”

At that, Laura was starting to smile again, maybe a little more self-satisfied than she’d like to admit. “Are you saying you like me then?” she started, a bit in awe. “Are–” she gasped and leaned forward. “Are we friends!?”

The look of sheer disgust on Mel’s face made Laura think the woman might very well be sick right in front of her. “Don’t even joke,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. “I dislike you both. I just happen to dislike her more .” When Laura’s smug smirk didn’t go away, Mel scoffed. “Stop focusing on me and focus more on this date you don’t even want to go on.”

It was Laura’s turn to look a bit ill. Not wanting to argue, she sighed and leaned back against the seat again, trying her best to stir up some excitement for the evening. It’s not every day a hot woman asked her out on a date and she was really taking it for granted…

Laura let out one last sigh and sat up straight in her seat. Allison deserved a date that was excited to meet her and not some whiny, piney, stick-in-the-mud. In that moment, Laura decided to make the best of it and give Allison a proper chance. 

And so she did.

—

Wow . 

Laura gave one last wave as Allison drove away, down the drive and through the gate. She meant to go inside, but the night was cool and crisp, and to be honest she just needed a moment to breathe.

Just… wow . 

Her date started off fairly boring and Laura had the most difficult time pretending to be interested in the menu, the antique paintings on the walls, and the conversation Allison attempted to have with her, but really it was all just lack-luster and Laura knew her face showed how she felt.

Thirty minutes in, even Allison looked defeated and bored and Laura knew it was all her doing. She didn’t even know what to say to make it better.

But then Allison leaned forward, almost conspiratorially, and practically stage-whispered, “Hey, can we go somewhere else?”

Laura was nodding before she really even understood the question and Allison grinned, took her by the hand, and led her to her car. As she opened the door for Laura, the grin was still plastered on her face. Laura could only look confused as a spark of excitement hit her.

“How’s an arcade sound to you?” Allison asked.

And the date took a turn for the better after that. They went to some sort of adult arcade, complete with delicious mixed drinks, messy appetizers, and a prize counter– because of COURSE the machines gave out tickets. They laughed when Laura learned Allison was fantastic at the dancing game, and they laughed when they both learned Laura was scarily good at the shooting ones, despite never having played such a thing. By the end of the night, the uncomfortable awkwardness Laura felt before the date had completely faded… and she had to admit…

She had a great time.

Allison dropped her off at the front door with a promise of calling later and Laura didn’t even feel the smallest need to tell her not to.

Maybe , she thought, Allison is the perfect date to get over this crush. As carefully and quietly as she could, Laura made her way into the Karnstein mansion. The bedrooms were far from the foyer, but a room with such a tall ceiling echoed like a chapel and Laura didn’t want to take any chances of waking the family at– what time was it? Oh. 1 A.M. Awesome. Well, it made sense because she felt exhausted and 1 A.M. was way past her normal bedtime.

The house was as dark and quiet as expected, except for the slightest noise and gentle light coming from the study to Laura’s left. 

Laura wondered if she should make sure it wasn’t one of the children, but all the same didn’t want to risk it being someone like Carmilla. Okay, sure, Allison would help her get over the crush, but thinking about seeing Carmilla, even briefly, made Laura feel like it might undo the progress she made tonight. And she really needed that progress…

Skirt the doorway. That was her plan. If she was quiet enough and far enough from the light, maybe she wouldn’t get spotted. She just needed to slip off her heels–

“Ms. Hollis?”

Laura froze, suppressing the urge to grunt her frustration and stomp around like a toddler starting a tantrum. She hadn’t even stepped a single sneaking toe down and already she was caught by the absolute WORST person.

“Ms. Hollis, are you alright?” Carmilla said, stepping into view as she leaned in the doorway of the study. The light was coming from behind Carmilla, so Laura couldn’t make out her expression. “How was your night?”

Laura’s heart sank deep into her stomach at the question. Why didn’t she want to say it went really well? Why didn’t she want to say that she was kind of disappointed at how well it actually wound up? “Really great,” she admitted, shoving all the other messy thoughts back down. She swallowed down a thick lump in her throat. “You, uh… you didn’t wait up for me, did you?” Whichever way Carmilla answered, Laura knew some part of her would find it disappointing.

Carmilla shifted, glancing back towards the study. Laura still couldn’t see her face. “No, no,” Carmilla said, offering up a soft laugh. “I had some work to do and well… my office was feeling a little stuffy.” Yeah, there was definitely some disappointment settling into Laura’s stomach now. (Something’s got to keep her heart company down there.) Okay, sure, a devious part of her thought, a large office in a mansion. Stuffy. Definitely. Laura was too tired to give it any further progress than that.

“I won’t keep you,” Laura said quietly, trying to keep her voice from echoing off the high ceilings. 

“I was just finished, actually,” Carmilla said. “About to head to bed.”

Convenient , Laura thought. She used what little energy she had left to mask the grimace that tried to pull at her lips.

“Let me get the light and I’ll come up with you.” Laura had no room to deny her as Carmilla stepped back inside the room. Briefly, she turned and eyed the lightswitches on the wall and realized she’d still not learned which ones were responsible for which light.

“Second from the left.” Carmilla was behind her quite suddenly and Laura almost jumped. Smiling a little at Laura’s reaction, Carmilla reached around her and flipped the switch. The lights along the stairway lit up and Laura tried to file that knowledge away for later. 

It wasn’t until they reached the first landing that Laura realized how much her feet really hurt. Heels, favorites or not, were not meant for arcades, she supposed. At the top of the stairs, her favorite pair of heels showed her exactly how much they cared about her well-being.

As Laura stepped up to the very last step, her foot landed a little short and her balance abandoned her. Thank goodness she was on the railing side as she fought gravity (utterly alone and with no help from her shoes) because it was the only thing that kept her from tumbling backwards down the stairs. Alas, the offending heel betrayed her again as she tried to find balance once more, but this time it took a casualty: her ankle.

With a stifled yelp, she fell forward, catching herself on one hand while Carmilla reached out to grasp her elbow and soften her fall. “Ms. Hollis? Are you alright?”

Groaning, Laura managed to swing herself around to sit on the top stair, reaching down to rub at the ankle she’d just rolled. “I’m fine,” she sighed, grimacing as she prodded at the sore spot. After a moment, she gingerly rose to stand, using the railing to help while trying to ignore Carmilla’s cautious hands held out to catch her should she fall again. 

“Leave the shoes,” Carmilla directed, her tone taking on something authoritative. Laura glanced at her and slid out of them, pushing them off to the side as she tried to walk a couple more steps. On the second step, her ankle gave way and Carmilla caught her before she could save herself with the railing.

“I’m fine–” she tried, but Carmilla grasped her wrist and pulled the arm over her shoulder, effectively pulling Laura to stand. Wrapping her free arm around Laura’s waist, Carmilla shook her head, stopping Laura from protesting before she could even start.

“I’ve got you, Ms. Hollis.” Her words were calm and firm. Laura knew there was zero room left for argument.

Do you? That’s exactly what I’m afraid of . Two steps in and Laura grimaced, barely hiding from Carmilla’s questioning glances. About ten paces from Laura’s door, her ankle gave up again and she hissed, hobbling (with Carmilla’s help) to lean against the wall.

“Are you sure you don’t need more help?” Carmilla said, glancing down before looking back to Laura with a smirk. “I could just as easily carry you.”

Laura laughed, holding back just enough to stay quiet. “Yeah, okay,” she said disbelievingly, pushing off the wall to attempt to stand again.

Carmilla followed, but played at insulted. “Ms. Hollis, I’m serious.”

The snort-laugh that came from Laura was something she would never admit to. Without going over the details of how , Laura was very sure that what she’d seen of Carmilla’s build did not hold up to the possibility of carrying a grown woman. Children, easily, and yeah, Laura was small, but c’mon…

Apparently, Carmilla did not appreciate Laura’s reaction because as soon as Laura gained her balance, Carmilla let go. A moment of what-did-I-say panic was quickly replaced by omiGOSH panic as Laura felt an arm around her shoulder and another at the back of her knees before being lifted into the air.

Throwing her arms around Carmilla’s neck, Laura braced herself for them to topple over. When certain doom seemed to pass, she risked peeking with one eye. All she saw was Carmilla’s confident smirk as she held Laura as easily as she claimed.  “Oh, okay, um… that’s–” Hot. That’s really hot.

Carmilla started for Laura’s room, not even the slightest hint of over-exertion in her muscles. “You think I would lie to you, Ms. Hollis?” 

“Ha. Ha. Very funny. You made your point, let go.” Laura knew she was blushing. Of course she was. Who wouldn’t blush being held like this?

“Oh?” Carmilla asked as she shouldered Laura’s door open. “Just… let go? Right here?” She made an abrupt motion, like she was about to let go, causing Laura to tighten her grip around her neck.

“Okay, wait–” Laura glanced at the ground. “Maybe n–”

“Just drop you right here, got it–” Carmilla shifted like she was prepared to let go of an armful of laundry.

“AH!” Laura yelped at the sudden movement, clutching at Carmilla’s shoulders, burying her face right into Carmilla’s neck. 

Nothing happened. She didn’t fall. She… she didn’t even move. Chancing a glance up, Laura found Carmilla smiling at her, clearly holding back a laugh at her own prank. “No trust, Ms. Hollis,” she teased softly, adopting a false look of hurt. Two more steps and she had Laura positioned over the bed. Laura couldn’t help but tense, thinking Carmilla would actually drop her (third time’s the charm right?), but she was gently lowered to sit at the edge of the bed. Stepping back, Carmilla kneeled and reached for her ankle, pausing to catch Laura’s gaze, seeking permission. At Laura’s nod, Carmilla lifted the injured ankle and used the light coming from the hallway to give it a quick look. “Am I hurting you?”

Laura shook her head.

“It looks like a simple strain. If it was a sprain, I’m fairly sure it would be the size of a softball by now.” The care she took in just placing Laura’s ankle back to resting against the floor made Laura’s heart ache. 

“I don’t think it’s sprained,” Laura affirmed, watching Carmilla stand. She struggled to find words. Not that she knew which ones she needed to find, but there was a lingering silence and she knew she needed to say something . “Thank you,” was all she managed.

Carmilla grasped the doorknob as she looked back. The light from the hallway let Laura see the playful smirk she held and with a wink, she was gone, softly closing the door behind her.

Laura sighed and dropped her head against her pillow as it occurred to her that the post-good-date-high she'd had when she came into the house disappeared the moment she got close to Carmilla. Of course it did. Because it was immediately replaced by the high she got when she felt Carmilla’s heat against her skin. 

She gripped her pillow, bringing the edges up and pressed her face into one side to hide her loud grunt of frustration. Sighing, she let go of the pillow and stared at the ceiling.

“Worst. Crush. Ever.”

Chapter Text

Breakfast was almost eerily quiet as Mel served the family. Laura glanced around to each person, trying to read the room– LaFontaine was the only easy one out of them all. They just happily stacked Cheerios on their end of the table, not paying attention to anyone else. (And Laura was impressed with how much they’d stacked in the short amount of time they’d been seated because from what she could see, the Cheerios were starting to become more of a sturdy castle wall… She was too fascinated to tell them to stop playing with their food.)

Perry fiddled nervously with her fork, poking at the scrambled eggs on her plate. Danny layered her over-easy eggs onto her waffle and folded it into a taco-like shape, but still refused to look up at anyone. 

And Carmilla, well… She didn’t look nervous or distracted as much as she just looked uninterested, sipping at her black coffee while she read the morning newspaper. Laura briefly wondered who wore the look better: Carmilla or Mel?

Sighing quietly, still keeping a wary eye on everyone, Laura tucked in to her waffles. It wasn’t until a few minutes in that she noticed Carmilla glancing purposefully at Danny, who did her best to ignore her. Danny was caught when she asked for the pepper, not realizing it was her mother who was closest to it. Carmilla had her then, some weird unspoken conversation thing happening between them with just eye motions as the pepper exchanged hands. Laura tried her best to look back down at her plate whenever they glanced her way. What is going on??

Finally, Danny let out a quiet grunt (was it an ‘ow’?) through a mouthful of food and some of the items on the table wobbled. Did Carmilla kick her…? Before Laura could even think about whatever the hell that all was, Danny caught her eyes and swallowed hard.

“So, uh…” Danny tried, looking completely uncomfortable. “How was your night?”

Laura’s eyebrows shot up. She was expecting this question, sure, but this felt really weird. Nonetheless, she smiled, feeling a little shy. “It was really nice, actually.”

“What did you guys do?” Perry asked.

Carmilla immediately followed up with, “How did you find Le Mont?”

Laura wondered if there would ever be a day where she didn’t blush in front of Carmilla and today was not that day. She felt a bit sheepish as she said, “Oh, uh, we didn’t actually spend much time there–”

“Did something happen?” Carmilla’s attention was fully on Laura now and Laura couldn’t help but notice that Danny seemed to check out after that first question. Did Carmilla use her to start this up? The idea was laughable, but not necessarily false. She’d think about it more later.

“Well, it was pretty boring, to be honest.”

Carmilla and Danny both laughed at that, Carmilla almost spilling her coffee and Danny doing her best not to drop her waffle taco. So much for being checked out, I guess.

“Are you sure it was the restaurant that was boring?” Carmilla asked, her eyes alight with teasing as she looked over her coffee cup at Laura’s rising blush.

Laura practically choked on her orange juice.

“Coach can be pretty hyper-focused when she’s on a topic,” Danny supplied with a sly grin, looking at her mother for backup. Which, to Laura’s frustration, Carmilla gave as she laughed along.

“What? No, no! She was fine!” Laura sputtered vehemently, trying not to slam her glass on the table. “It just wasn’t really our scene.” Why was this so embarrassing? “Once we got to the arcade–”

“An arcade!?” Danny interrupted, abandoning her last bite of waffle-taco in favor of a laugh. “Are you sure you’re qualified to be an adult?”

Laura gaped incredulously.

Carmilla offered no support, of course. “You know,” she said, glancing at Laura like she was thinking hard about something. “I’m not sure she reached the height requirement.”

Laura almost slammed both hands on the table, but caught herself just in time. “I am like TWO INCHES shorter than you!”

“...And?” Carmilla’s smirk was infuriating and annoyingly gorgeous. All Laura could do was scoff and sit back in her seat, arms crossed. (That wasn’t doing much for adult-points, but it wasn’t like she was going to win against these two.)

Danny was so clearly enjoying this barb-fest at Laura’s expense and, honestly, Laura was just happy that she wasn’t being avoided anymore. Grinning, Danny leaned in, her elbows on the table. “So did you guys just talk about children the whole time? Her team, your job, etcetera, etcetera?”

Carmilla sipped her coffee with a smile and Laura wanted to throw a frown her way, maybe stick her tongue out, but now she was a little self-conscious about being childish. “Did she at least win you a teddy bear?”

Before Laura could snap back with an answer, LaFontaine leapt up, almost knocking down their– ridiculously impressive– Cheerio castle (how was it standing so tall?). “Did you get a sticky hand!?” They asked, eyes wide with excitement.

From behind them, cleaning up the serving table, Mel barked a laugh, quickly earning a glare from both Carmilla and Laura.

Cutting in before LaFontaine could pick up on why Mel might be cackling to herself, Laura looked between Carmilla and Danny and said, “Excuse me, you–” she glanced at LaFontaine and struggled to find rated-G words, “Meanie… faces!” Carmilla and Danny were wholly unimpressed. “I’ll have you know… I won her something. I happen to be a master at the claw game,” she finished with a dignified huff.

LaFontaine’s eyes sparkled from across the table. “What did you get her?”

The dignity Laura held on to so tightly fell through her hands like sand. Still, she tried to look proud. It wasn’t going well, but there was an effort. “A rainbow slinky…” she answered quietly. Danny was laughing so hard that she was almost in tears. Embarrassed and almost having quite enough of being the butt of the joke, Laura threw her hands up in exasperation. “What?”

Carmilla was doing a terrible job of keeping it together, the quirk of her lips giving away her struggle to stop laughing. “No, no, Ms. Hollis,” she said, pressing a fist against her lips like it might trap the laughter in. “That was a very romantic gesture.”

“Well, she liked it and was very happy. So I’ll take that over YOU two judgy McJudgersons!”

“Excuse me,” Mel interjected as she collected Danny’s plate. “My silence does not mean I haven’t been judging you.”

Laura threw her hands up again. “Ugh! Fine! Three of you. At least LaF is on my side.” She threw a wink LaFontaine’s way and the child beamed proudly in return.

Without missing a beat, Danny said, “They’re too young to know better…” 

That seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back for Carmilla. Quiet laughter spilled from her, even as she tried to keep it in with her fingers pressed tightly to her mouth. In all her weeks here, that was the first time Laura heard Carmilla laugh so openly. (Yes, even as she tried to stifle it.) Laura might have found it utterly endearing if not for the fact that they just spent the last several minutes TEASING her! Relentlessly! (Okay, so maybe it was totally charming, but STILL!) 

“Alright, alright you two…” Laura grumbled, feigning annoyance and poking at the last bits of scrambled egg on her plate. “You’re not allowed to sit next to each other anymore.”

As Danny and Carmilla excused themselves to get started with their respective days, Perry leaned closer to Laura. Quietly, she said, “I think it’s very sweet.”

Laura’s heart melted. She reached over and squeezed Perry’s hand lovingly, giving her the happiest little smile. “Thank you, Perry.”

—

So, okay, the crush wasn’t getting any better. Honestly, it was probably getting worse. Even as Laura sat at her desk, having MORE than earned a Saturday off after dealing with those two at breakfast, she couldn’t focus on her work at all. Her feelings were all jumbled and distracting, sitting heavy in her chest. It was aggravating to say the least. 

Deciding to take a break, (from doing what? Nothing? Can you take a break from nothing?) Laura closed her laptop and splayed out on her bed, unintentionally doing a great starfish impression. 

Maybe she could just… think out these feelings? Comb them out like a bad tangle and just… move on? Yeah, like that’s so easy. She intended to try, at least.

So, what was really so great about Carmilla that she couldn’t get the woman out of her head? Easy things to identify were things like: She’s really hot. Like… heart-stopping, can’t catch your breath hot. But Allison was hot too! Allison had the build of an athlete! And Carm— well… Laura’s face instantly shaded pink as she thought of Carmilla’s build, having seen more of it than she should have. Anyway— she needed to press on— Carmilla didn’t exactly have an athletic build, but somehow she easily carried Laura. And that was hot too. 

And sometimes she’d give Laura this smile when they were in the same room. It didn’t have to be a conversation or anything; they didn’t even have to be talking to each other… just in the room. And when Laura happened to look over at whatever Carmilla was doing, Carmilla would catch her gaze and smile just a little before turning her attention back to whatever she was up to. 

But okay, Allison had a cute smile too! She smiled at Laura all night, and it was super adorable. But what was it about the small smiles Carmilla gave her that caused so many butterflies in her stomach compared to the adoring one that Allison gave her all night? Were there butterflies with Allison? Uh, probably… right? She definitely had some when she got home… But was that before or after Carmilla greeted me?

Alright, so maybe that wasn’t a good example…

And really, Hollis, all these feelings over just a smile? Well, no, that definitely wasn’t accurate either. 

Laura sighed. The thing about Carmilla that was making this crush so unbearable was that the more Laura saw of the woman, the more she liked her. And how could she not see more of Carmilla? (Shower incident aside!) When you worked for someone and their children, you were bound to get to know them and so far there wasn’t much about Carmilla Karnstein that was particularly unlikable. 

Carmilla was a quiet person, but not in a way that was shy. She was watchful, even if she was occupied doing something else. Despite how busy she seemed with people in and out of the house and her office almost daily, she really did her best to prioritize her children’s needs– especially so now that she would be attending Danny’s games. She didn’t have that stereotypical attitude of ‘the nanny raises my children while I focus on work’ that Laura had anticipated. Not that she’d had a lot of expectations about being a nanny, but she was pleased to know that whatever society thought about rich people and their nannies, Carmilla didn’t fit it at all. Okay, aside from the whole attraction to each other thing. It’s not like this is my forever job. It was just temporary. 

A sinking feeling hit her with quite a punch. What if that’s why they struggled to keep a nanny? What if Carmilla was some kind of lecherous fiend and paid all the women to keep quiet but they left because they couldn’t bear to be kept a secret any longer? 

The more rational side of her put a different thought forward: Laura once caught LaFontaine purposely setting themself on fire… And there was always the unspoken something that the other nannies left due to some fear of their own, uh… flammability. Mel had alluded to it with the mention of insurance premiums. It didn’t seem far-fetched that other nannies would have none of that nonsense. And… if Carmilla was some kind of villain, luring innocent women into some sort of affair, there would be more evidence of that, right?

Not that these rationales made her feel any better. Surely, Laura would know red flags when she saw them, right? Ugh. That’s what the victim always thinks before…

Okay, wait. Laura wasn’t some mindless, naïve teenager easily falling for a con artist. She was an investigative journalist with a damn brain and some really solid gut instincts. Maaaybe she should give herself a little more credit.

Carmilla Karnstein, at the most basic level, was a hard-working, single mom who needed a hand with rambunctious children. Was she unbelievably attractive? Yes. Definitely had that in her favor. Had she admitted to finding Laura attractive? Yep. That was…(hoo, wow) a thing that she definitely did do.

Of course while trying to sort through her feelings, her brain would drag up the more… physical of them. Not like it was particularly hard, of course. Those sorts of feelings– or, memories of feelings?– just kind of hung out under the surface, waiting for the slightest hint to be recalled. 

It hit like a rush of butterflies in her stomach, from rest to flight in only a whisper of wings. It used to just be the kiss they shared in the cellar. Something fleeting and somehow sweet, but with the sweetness having nothing to do with the wine they shared. But now… Now she couldn’t let go of the accidental brush of Carmilla’s fingertips down her spine. There was the tickle of her breath against Laura’s neck as she fussed with the zipper, the warmth radiating off of her as she leaned over Laura. It was all at once agonizing and enticing and it would not leave Laura be. Then there was the feeling of Carmilla practically in her lap… and if that alone wasn’t the cause of death of one very gay Laura Hollis, surely Carmilla’s laugh should have been. After a day of being held at a distance with only Carmilla’s reserved smile, getting to see her so freely laughing was like the first inhale of fresh, forest air when you’ve only ever known a crowded city’s haze. You didn’t know you were missing something so invigorating until that first breath and you wondered when you’d get another the moment you left it.

The comparison felt dramatic as all hell, but nonetheless accurate. How was she supposed to keep from crushing on a woman who straddled her not twenty-four hours ago and then laughed with Laura in a way that lit Laura’s heart on fire?

God, Hollis, any thirstier and you’ll need to dive into the nearest river.

Wasn’t she supposed to be working? How did she get on this topic, anyway? Oh yeah, she was supposed to be trying to sort through this crush but she was far too enamored with– nope. Noooo. Not this time, Satan. Or whatever devil lingered on her shoulder today…

Sighing in defeat, Laura stood up and stretched, opting to go downstairs to find a cookie or something to at least distract her for a moment.

—

“Okay, but is this play really appropriate for children?” Laura eyed the photocopied script Perry had given her. Perry caught her sneaking into the freezer for an ice cream bar and asked for some help running lines. Of course Laura said yes, but truth be told she was never really that great at acting or reading from a script…

Perry sighed heavily and slumped in her desk chair. “That’s what I thought too. Sometimes it’s a little hard to understand. And what kind of message does it send to teens who read or watch this?” She didn’t seem to notice the smirk growing on Laura’s face. “If he would have just waited a few more minutes, they wouldn’t have had to die together in that dingy, dirty tomb.” Perry visibly shuddered and Laura stifled a laugh. 

No other thirteen year old would be worried about the cleanliness of a tomb and the morals of a classic play. But Perry was no ordinary thirteen year old and Laura loved every quirk of hers. 

Laura glanced at the script again and read some of the lines. They’d been practicing Perry’s lines since Sunday and by now— Wednesday— Laura practically knew the play by heart. (Or at least the parts of the scenes Perry would be in.) “I mean, for a sixteen year old boy, it sounds pretty on point…”

A mischievous smile was poorly hidden behind Perry’s hand. “That’s true of some of the boys I’ve seen Danny talk to at school.”

“Is Danny interested in a boy at school?” Laura asked, trying to sound casual. Maybe it would explain her behavior as of late. 

Perry shrugged and highlighted something in her script. “No, but they’re all interested in her. Honestly, they should be worrying more about their grades than trying to pass their poorly-written love notes through me.” 

Laura’s eyebrows shot up. “They give you notes for her?”

Standing, Perry readied herself for the part she was about to read. “She and I read them on the way home and she lets me correct them with a red pen.” She looked down at the paper in her hand, frowned like she was trying to remember something, then continued on, “I think it’s how we bond.”

Laura could only smile at that as she sat back in her chair, ready to listen. 

They practiced in the study for an hour before Carmilla found them. She’d stopped in to find some paperwork she left the night before. Perry excused herself, using the opportunity to get herself a drink and a snack. 

It left Laura alone with Carmilla and it was the exact place she did and did not want to be. She could run, really. Just up and take off up the stairs. It would probably shock Carmilla enough that she wouldn’t follow. And hey, maybe if Laura tripped again Carmilla would hear and carr— Oop. No. Opposite of what we’re going for, brain. Her ankle was still a little sore anyway, so maybe staying put was for the best. 

“Romeo and Juliet?” 

Carmilla’s voice jarred Laura right out of her thoughts. She practically choked on her own intake of breath. “Uh, yeah,” she said, looking down at the script in her hand, avoiding looking directly at the woman who would make her heart race with only a glance. There was a stretch of silence as Carmilla shuffled through some of her papers and Laura felt the growing urge to fill it. There wasn’t any awkwardness despite Laura herself feeling the need to escape, but all the same she found herself worried that Carmilla would leave the room too soon. She needed to say something. Quickly. “I don’t really understand why this play is so popular.” Is that something I should say to a Broadway producer? Probably not.

The paper shuffling stopped, but Laura still didn’t risk looking up. Instead, she shuffled through the script to the scene in the Capulet’s orchard. “Have you ever seen the production on stage?” Carmilla asked. Laura could see her coming closer out of the corner of her eye. 

“Only by high schoolers. I did see that Baz Luhrmann movie. Does that count?”

The grimace Carmilla made was so apparent in her tone, Laura didn’t even need to see it. “No, no… I wouldn’t say that counts.” 

Laura tried not to laugh. The lines where Juliet calls out to Romeo jumped off the page at her. “It just seems overly dramatic. I know they’re kids and plays are meant to be dramatic, but I suppose I never really saw the romance in it like everyone else does. And I’ve been rereading this for days.”

Carmilla took the seat across from her– a chesterfield armchair upholstered in dark leather– and Laura felt the tiniest bit of irritation that despite sitting in the same exact sort of seat, Carmilla maintained an air of elegance that Laura could never reach. It could have been the way Carmilla leaned back and crossed her legs, or it could have been the way she rested her elbow on the arm of the chair and rested her chin on her fist… Or it really could just be that she was in business attire and sitting upright and comparatively Laura was in jeans, an old sweater, and had her feet tucked under her. (She took her shoes off before putting her feet on the furniture, she wasn’t raised in a barn.) The small prick of irritation faded immediately as Carmilla caught Laura’s gaze. Laura had forgotten that she was purposely trying to avoid eye contact. Right on cue, her chest tightened as her heartbeat picked up its rhythm. She did her best to ignore it.

“I think I would have agreed with you before having children of my own,” Carmilla said thoughtfully.

“Oh? I didn’t expect that.”

An amused smirk curved Carmilla’s lips. “Not all producers love Shakespeare, you know…”

“You don’t love Shakespeare?” Laura was genuinely surprised.

“Well now, I didn’t say that…” Carmilla only shrugged noncommittally and Laura rolled her eyes. “Much Ado About Nothing is one of my favorites.”

The title sounded vaguely familiar but something else held Laura’s attention. “Why did having kids change your opinion?”

“You said you thought Romeo and Juliet was overly dramatic? My kids and their friends– Danny’s in particular– I can see them having these emotions and feeling things with that intensity.”

Laura considered that for a moment and laughed a little. “Maybe not Perry.”

Smirking, Carmilla nodded, “Maybe not Perry. She’s unlike others her age. Thirteen going on fifty.”

“So, the …melodrama can be explained well enough, but still… To call this play romantic? I’m not convinced…” 

Carmilla chewed her lip in thought before standing, the sudden movement startling Laura. “Stand up,” she said, motioning with her hands.

“Wha-?” Laura jumped to her feet, not even thinking to question the command. “Why?”

“I’ll show you,” Carmilla replied, motioning then for Laura to move behind the chair she’d previously occupied. “First, let me say that Romeo and Juliet may be hailed as a romantic play, but it’s truly a tragedy. Two children lost and feeling alone, torn apart by their families. People who don’t really know or understand the play may call it a romance, but… well, that’s the public for you, isn’t it?”

Laura laughed a little through her nose and leaned against the back of the chair to snatch up her copy of the script while Carmilla grabbed the one Perry had left behind.

“Let’s look at Capulet’s Orchard to find this romance you’re looking for.”

“Hey,” Laura huffed, looking a little offended. When Carmilla didn’t acknowledge her, she muttered, “I’m not looking for romance…”

“Romeo comes into the orchard, not really sure why he's going back into what could be certain death, but only knowing that he has to see her again. How fortunate that he catches sight of Juliet in the window of her bedroom, and even better, she's confessing to the air about how in love with him she is.”

“Right, he’s just creeping outside her window and listening to her private thoughts…”

Carmilla smirked. “Plot device, Ms. Hollis. Do forgive him, he had to move things along somehow.”

“Still creepy,” Laura mumbled.

“Now, I will play Romeo here and I ask that you read for Juliet.” At least now Laura understood why Carmilla had her stand up, but reading for Perry felt very different than reading for the woman who happened to be a successful Broadway producer. Sure, it wasn’t an audition, but Laura hadn’t read from a script since… ever? Surely, having only three days of script reading experience would give her a pardon from the worst critiques, right?

The smirk on Carmilla’s lips told Laura that Carmilla expected this. She expected the blush that crawled up Laura’s neck. She expected Laura’s hesitation… and she probably expected that Laura would still say yes. And really, who was Laura to deny her boss? “Fine.”

It started out as Laura expected: Carmilla read Romeo’s lines smoothly and like she’d rehearsed them a thousand times and Laura stumbled through Juliet’s. Laura was awkward compared to Carmilla’s effortless grace, but she improved with every line she read. The clunky, awkward part of her that was hyper-aware that her character was an idiot thirteen year old began to fade away, and she felt less and less like she was outside of the scene.

Perhaps it was because Carmilla seemed immersed in her own character. She had so easily picked up the mask of a lovesick teenager that Laura herself felt drawn in with every word. It felt easier as Laura listened, watching with such a focus that when it came her turn to speak, she was ready; She could feel her lines. 

Something clicked around the lines of Juliet worrying that her family might kill Romeo on sight. Carmilla, easily boasting Romeo’s lines of love, held the exact air of confidence that Laura would expect of a teenage boy. Of course, Carmilla wore it better, but that wasn’t the point. Laura read her next line, looked up into Carmilla’s waiting gaze and felt her heart clench as she spoke the words, “I would not for the world they saw thee here.”

It was here that Romeo professed his love all the more: love was his guide, his muse, the very will that moved his body to such a dangerous place. And it was in those words that Carmilla leaned closer. Laura barely remembered reading the small monologue in which Juliet tries to bid him goodnight. When Carmilla’s hand grasped hers from where it rested on the back of the chair, Laura could only think of the warmth there.

“O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?” Carmilla looked at their hands, then caught Laura’s eye. Laura wondered if she was breathing. Surely she was. People can’t speak without breath in their lungs, right? But her chest was tight and her throat constricted. Her heart hammered against her ribs and she needed the next line, but that would mean looking away and for some reason that really seemed like the wrong idea.

Carmilla made the choice for her, breaking eye contact to nod towards the script that was likely being crushed in Laura’s grip. Swallowing hard, Laura brought the papers up instead of looking down at them. “What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?” The moment she had the words, she locked eyes with Carmilla again, feeling entirely captivated.

There was no shuffle of paper on Carmilla’s side of the chair. She didn’t look away as she leaned close, her hand still resting gently on top of Laura’s. There was no need for her to look at the script as she leaned in close. Barely a breath away, Carmilla looked into Laura’s eyes like she had something to find there. “The exchange of thy love’s faithful vow for mine,” she said so softly that Laura wasn’t sure if she heard it or simply felt the words as breath against her lips.

Laura had read the next two lines with the last. She’d repeated it in her head over and over until Carmilla spoke again. Something had warned her that she’d be loath to break eye contact again and that something was very right. The waning space between them spilled Laura’s lines from her memory for only a moment before she was able to scrape them back together. They wouldn’t be perfect, but she couldn’t risk looking away right now. “I-I gave mine before,” she swallowed thickly as she looked at Carmilla’s mouth. “Before thou did request it, yet…” Oxygen? Who needed it? Apparently not Laura’s lungs, as they sat shriveled and empty in her chest, the muscles having completely forgotten anything that wasn’t leaning in closer, closer... 

Carmilla smirked in Laura’s pause, her eyes flicking down to Laura’s mouth and back up.

Full moments must have passed before Laura realized she wasn’t finished with her part, but whatever line she needed to pull from her thoughts didn’t seem to be within her reach. Heck, if anything, she needed to think about getting oxygen first. “A-And yet…” Laura tried, drawing in a weak breath.

“And yet?” Carmilla urged.

“I would it were to give again.” She said this in something akin to a whisper. Carmilla was so close now that Laura had no doubt she heard it clearly. Silence lingered between them, even their breathing carried no sound. Laura’s muscles were taut, ready to spring away (or maybe forward?), but she kept her eyes on Carmilla’s smirk.

A moment of clarity broke through, warning Laura that this proximity they kept favoring would surely undo their agreement. The agreement itself was hazy to her– something to do with the children– but the lines drawn so clearly before seemed quite a lot harder to see right now. Fitting that the moon should pull the tide to wear away those lines they’d made together. They weren’t entirely gone, though, and that clarity grabbed Laura’s heart and tugged her backwards, away from the faded boundary. 

As Laura sucked in a breath, finally gaining control of her own lungs, she leaned back, putting some distance between them. Not much, but enough.

Carmilla didn’t miss a beat, tilting her head at Laura’s slight retreat. “Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love?”

Looking down at the paper in her hand, Laura could have laughed. She didn’t, but it floated briefly in the back of her throat. At least she was starting to get a grasp on why people thought this play was so romantic, if the fluttering of her own heart was any indication. Carmilla’s hand was still warm on hers, and when she felt the reassuring squeeze, Laura said her next line. “But to be frank…” Their gazes met. “And give it thee again.”

Carmilla leaned in first. That’s not to say Laura didn’t lean in (she absolutely did), but Carmilla certainly initiated it. She leaned in and paused about half way. Laura’s thoughts echoed her last words as she felt drawn back in, give it thee again, again, again.

Again. 

Carmilla’s eyes were dark on any given day. More often than not, the lighting of the house disguised them as something closer to black but here, this close, Laura could see exactly what color they were again. Rich, deep brown eyes stared into her own, then glanced down to her lips before coming back up. Laura’s heart couldn’t decide where it needed to be, how it needed to beat. Surely it was in her throat, but then what was thrumming so loudly in her chest, in her head? Yet she couldn’t even say that time was moving as she glanced down at Carmilla’s smirk, because everything seemed frozen around her. If it weren’t for the wild pulse in her ears, the heat climbing her neck, she would think time had stopped entirely.

Laura tilted her head, bringing her nose to brush Carmilla’s as they both let their eyes drift closed. If Laura wasn’t so distracted by the butterflies in her stomach or the heat that danced across her skin and coiled low in her belly, maybe she would have thought twice about what she was doing. (Well… lying to herself never really did her any favors but she didn’t have the wherewithal to think about that either.) Instead of thinking, she just brushed her nose against Carmilla’s once more and closed the space between them.

Again. The press of Carmilla’s mouth was soft and somewhere in the far back of Laura’s mind, she was happy to confirm her theory– a theory she didn’t know she had until this moment– that kissing Carmilla sober would be even better than it had been while mildly intoxicated. There was no bottle to knock over and startle them apart, no father coming to rescue them from being locked in a cellar. It was simply Laura, Carmilla, the horribly inconvenient chair between them, and the crinkle of Laura’s script.

The SCRIPT! 

A million thoughts and the feelings that went with them hit Laura all at once as soon as she let her mind focus less on the delicate touch against her lips and more on the paper clutched in her hand: the play, Perry, Romeo, Juliet, Danny, Carmilla, acting, hockey, Carmilla’s lips, Allison, Mel’s teasing, that certain smirk, an arcade, the incident, the agreement, the feeling of Carmilla’s breath against her lips, a steaming shower, a hockey coach, Capulets, Montagues, star-crossed lovers, the moon, the tide, cookies, Juliet, the script, Romeo, romance–

All of the guilt, excitement, desire, fondness, confusion– everything– boiled down into one overwhelming feeling:

Absurdity. 

It all rushed her so fast that the frozen in time feeling she’d had up to this point immediately shattered. One second she had Carmilla’s lips pressed against hers and the next…

Laura was giggling, her smile pressing into Carmilla’s kiss. Even as she pulled herself a few inches away and unconsciously laced her fingers with the hand Carmilla had placed over hers, she giggled. 

Carmilla was taken aback first, but a genuine smile graced her lips and she rolled her eyes. “Do you see the romance now, Ms. Hollis?”

“Oh, yep. Definitely.” She giggled more. “Top notch romance that, mmhmm, one for the ages.” 

Carmilla straightened, further pulling away from Laura, but left their fingers intertwined.

Mistaking the motion for Carmilla’s discomfort, Laura immediately cleared her throat as if to dispel the laughter. “I don’t mean to laugh,” she said quickly, her smile apologetic.

The smile Carmilla returned didn’t seem to show any embarrassment or distress whatsoever and for that Laura was grateful. “Don’t you?” she teased, tilting her head. “I can’t say I’ve ever had someone laugh at my acting before.”

Laura grimaced and matched Carmilla’s teasing lilt. “Oh? Not too popular in the comedies?”

Carmilla laughed at the dig, nodded as if to say, ‘touché’ and Laura smiled at her victory.

Steps in the hallway warned the two that someone–likely Perry– was coming. Laura pulled her hand away, a part of her feeling like a spell was broken. It was only acting of course, but she’d enjoyed that nonetheless. 

“Alissa has asked me to run lines with her at her house,” Perry said once she was in the room. “Mom, may I go?”

“Of course, but please be back by 8,” Carmilla said, handing Perry her script and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Nodding a farewell to Laura, Carmilla gathered her papers and went back to work.

“Thank you for your help, Ms. Laura,” Perry said, looking somewhat shy. Before Laura could ask what the matter was, Perry stepped up close to her. “May I give you a hug?” she asked, looking at her feet.

Laura’s heart– still barely slowed from earlier– just about burst from her chest. “Always,” she replied quietly, holding her arms out. Perry stepped close and gave Laura one of the loosest hugs she’d ever received. Still, it was warm and sweet and maybe it had been mere weeks of knowing this family, but Laura was already absolutely certain: She loved these kids. “You don’t ever have to ask me,” Laura told Perry as the girl stepped out of her arms. “I’m glad you did, but I’m letting you know, you can have as many hugs as you want as often as you want.”

Perry met her eyes and smiled, nodding. “Thank you.”

—

“Look, it’s just weird, okay?” Laura huffed and stirred her cocoa absently. 

Mel stared at her for a long moment. “Ms. Hollis— I can’t believe I’m even bothering with this, but— if you don’t like her, don’t go out with her.”

Laura’s jaw dropped as though she was offended. “I didn’t say I don’t like her—”

“Pfft, you may as well have.” Mel turned away and tossed the sponge she’d been using on the stovetop into the sink. Briefly, she cleared her throat. 

“I’m just saying that it’s weird!”

Mel rolled her eyes and while Laura assumed she wasn’t going to say anything else, neither woman had a chance as Danny came bouncing in. “Ms. Laura! I was looking for you.”

Laura schooled her look of exasperation to one more pleasant for Danny’s sake. “Hey!” she greeted in return. “Looking for me? What can I do for you?”

“Well, I have this school dance coming up…”

It was clear Danny was trying to lead to something, but Laura had no idea where that might be… She waited expectantly, giving Danny an easy smile.

“I was wondering if you could help me practice for it.”

Brief images of her own school dances flashed through Laura’s mind and there was certainly a lot of…bumping… and grinding. More than was appropriate for young teens, for sure. She tried not to grimace, hiding it with a gentle cough. “Uh, I’m not sure how I could help…”

Danny picked at her cuticles. “It’s a lot of waltzing and things like that. I know a bit, but…”

Oh! Waltzing! That was so much better than what she’d seen as a kid. “I’m not much of a dancer, but I could try to help?”

The grin Danny sent her way was blinding and Laura’s heart warmed. These kids would be the death of her. How was she ever supposed to go back to a time without them? “Mom says one of the best ways to get better at something is to help teach someone else, so… I’d be happy to teach you too.”

Behind them, Mel rummaged through the fridge. “I’ll be sure to have extra ice on hand for you, Miss Danny.”

“Why would–” The dig hit Laura a moment later. “Hey! I’m not that bad!” She looked to Danny. “I wasn’t that bad, was I?”

Danny, still smiling brightly, said, “Not at all!” But she nodded her head vigorously at Mel, giving away her lie, much to Laura’s dismay.

Laura scoffed and crossed her arms as Danny plucked an apple from the bowl on the counter. “By the way, Ms. Laura, you’re looking very nice today.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Laura waved her off, rolling her eyes playfully. “I already said I’d help you, you don’t need to butter me up.” Behind her, Mel cleared her throat a couple more times. “Have something to say?” she asked, turning to face her.

Mel shrugged and coughed a little more forcefully. “No,” she answered simply, leaving the kitchen without so much as a wave.

——

Friday night, Danny burst through the front door so hard that it sounded like an animal had charged into it. Carmilla was on her heels, a thin scowl and an angry glare on her face. Laura, Perry, LaFontaine, and Mel came in behind the two, looking at one another in apprehension. (Well, Mel looked slightly more interested than the other three, but only just barely.)

“That is enough!” Carmilla said forcefully, not yelling, but certainly louder than her normal volume.

She received only a scoff in response as Danny practically slammed her hockey bag onto the floor and began to stomp up the stairs. 

Carmilla bristled, forgetting about the front door entirely as she marched to the stairs behind Danny. “Danielle Lawrence Karnstein, you stomp yourself right back down here. Now.” 

Laura grimaced and ushered the other three in, closing the door quietly behind them, forgetting that it was usually something Mel did.

At her full name, Danny paused. Laura briefly marveled at how powerful such a thing was to a child as Danny spun and indeed stomped her way back down the stairs. As she reached the bottom step, she stayed there, not venturing to the same plane where her mother stood. On the last step, she was an inch taller and Laura was sure Carmilla took note of it.

Nonetheless, Carmilla’s ferocity in this moment suffered no losses, her fury seeming to radiate off of her in invisible waves. Perry and LaF each had a hand fisted in the back of Laura’s blouse as they clung to her, anxiously watching whatever was unfolding between their mother and sister. 

“What happened out there today?” Carmilla asked, quiet but firm.

Danny raised her chin defiantly. “I got mad.”

Laura watched Carmilla’s fists clench and unclench at her side, likely trying to temper her own anger. “Clearly,” Carmilla managed. “What made you so angry?”

The tension of the room grew twofold as Danny rolled her eyes. Laura never suspected Carmilla would strike any of her children, but for an unbelievable moment she could see why a parent might. (Guilt flooded her a moment after, but she’d have to deal with that later.)

Carmilla, who’d been extraordinarily patient thus far, maintained that patience, even as Laura could see the strain in her back muscles as the woman struggled to keep calm. “I do not treat you with disrespect like this, Danielle, so I expect the same in return. Apologize.”

Laura could see Danny struggle with needing to apologize as the room fell silent, the echo of Carmilla’s order fading away. She could see the furious tears glisten at the corners of the teen’s eyes and she felt the overwhelming urge to hug Danny, but stayed put. 

Mel suddenly coughed, startling the group, and she covered the next few as she made her way out of the foyer. 

The distraction seemed to settle Danny somewhat and she dropped her gaze to her feet. “I’m sorry,” she said curtly.

Carmilla sighed and put her hands on her hips. Laura pleaded silently that Carmilla wouldn’t push for something more sincere. 

“Apologize to Ms. Hollis and your sis– your siblings,” Carmilla said with a frown, tipping her head in their direction.

Danny’s fists were at her side and Laura saw them clench and unclench, just like her mother’s earlier. “Why,” she spat, making momentary eye contact with Laura. The contempt Laura saw cracked her heart right down the middle.

“Because they came out to support you and you’re throwing a fit like a toddler.” Carmilla looked like she intended to say more, but the way Danny bowed her head seemed to erase the need. 

“Ms. Laura, Per, LaF… I’m sorry.” This apology was less brusque, but apparently still not good enough for her mother.

“And?” Carmilla crossed her arms.

“Thank you for coming today.” Danny did not raise her head.

“Go ahead to your room. I’ll take care of your things for tonight,” Carmilla said, nodding to the hockey bag.

Once Danny had retreated up the stairs, Carmilla blew out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through her hair. She turned around to face them and gave a small smile to Perry and LaF. “You two go get your pajamas on and then meet me in the kitchen, okay?”

The two looked as if they too had been scolded and scurried upstairs.

Hefting Danny’s bag onto her shoulder, Carmilla looked back at Laura, who couldn’t help but stand awkwardly in the foyer, wondering where she should go. To her own room? To see what was wrong with Danny? To check on the younger two? Carmilla settled that for her. “Follow me?” she asked calmly.

Nodding, Laura stepped close, taking the hockey stick that seemed to be a moment from sliding off the bag anyway.

Carmilla led Laura towards the mudroom where the family usually kept their messier toys and gear. 

“I know she’s at odds with me lately, but I really didn’t expect so much… anger from her,” Carmilla said quietly as she carefully removed Danny’s skates from the bag. Laura put the stick in the corner of the room where Danny usually kept it. Unsure of what to say, Laura remained quiet. (A rare thing, she knew.) “I know you haven’t had children of your own but…” Carmilla turned and Laura’s breath caught.

All of the confidence of a parent who knew exactly what to say and when to say it fell from Carmilla’s shoulders the moment their eyes met. She looked… vulnerable, and Laura’s heart clenched painfully.

“Was I too harsh? Should I have just let her feel that out and spoken with her later?”

Laura wasn’t sure. Should she answer? Should she let Carmilla vent? 

In Laura’s silence, Carmilla went on. “I don’t want to shame her in front of her siblings or you but her behavior today… I’m at a loss.”

It took a moment for Laura to find something appropriate to say. “I think…” she bit her lip, trying to arrange the words in her mind, “I think you did it right.” Carmilla looked away, nodding absently, but she seemed no more soothed than before. “Has Danny ever gotten that many fouls before?”

Carmilla blinked in confusion for a moment before the edge of her mouth quirked up in amusement. “Penalties, Ms. Hollis,” she corrected, sighing as the light moment passed. “No. And she’s certainly never been ejected from the game.”

Laura frowned. “I can’t believe she went as far as elbowing that player in the back of the head…” The opposing player had been giving Danny’s teammates trouble all night. Fed up, Danny took matters into her own hands… and got herself tossed out of the game. Laura’s ears turned red at the language Danny had spewed at the referee as the assistant coach dragged Danny back to the locker room. 

“I’ll be surprised if Coach York lets her play next week. She won’t be happy if that’s the case.” 

Laura grimaced. “Well, she doesn’t seem happy now either…”

Nodding again, Carmilla tipped her head towards the kitchen. “Join me and the happier two of my children in the kitchen?”

Laura smiled. “Of course.”

—

They’d found Mel, LaFontaine, and Perry in the kitchen. Mel was nursing a cup of tea that smelled of lemon and honey as the other two sat solemnly at the round table. 

Laura had joined the kids, absently kissing the tops of their heads as she walked to her seat. 

Carmilla didn’t sit with them at first, instead choosing to stand and address the younger two about what had happened. She explained that Danny was feeling some things and that while it was okay to have those feelings, it was not okay to treat others poorly because of it. Laura wasn’t sure how much the two absorbed from the conversation, but as soon as Carmilla went to the freezer and returned with a carton of ice cream… all three sitting at the table had brightened right up. In the talk, Mel had likely disappeared to bed. 

Then the four, each armed with their own spoons, shared the carton, taking turns with each bite. When Carmilla had decided they’d had enough, Laura absolutely, definitely, did NOT groan with the other two as the ice cream was taken away. (And no one could prove otherwise!)

Later, when the house was quiet, the kids asleep, and Laura was tucked into her own bed, her phone buzzed.

Allison wishing her goodnight, most likely. She’d been texting here and there as her schedule allowed, but always seemed to make time to say goodnight since their date. 

Laura eyed her phone on the bedside table. The polite part of her wanted to reply, but something else kept her from reaching for the phone. It was weird, something she couldn’t name, but she blamed it on the events of the evening and rolled over, facing away from the notification. 

Allison never held any expectations of her when it came to texts. She didn’t anticipate this would be a problem either…

But a strange part of her… sort of… 

kind of… 

wished it would?

—

For the next two days, Danny looked like a kicked puppy. She was overly nice, overly helpful, and extra apologetic. 

Laura took it in stride, trying to treat her just the same as always. Maybe she gave a couple more hugs than usual, but how could she not when Danny just looked so sorry.

By Sunday, Danny sheepishly asked if they were still on for practicing the waltz, and other than accidentally forgetting that she’d promised as much, Laura told her, “Of course!”

With Laura’s phone in her back pocket playing some sort of fancy, classical playlist, Danny did her absolute best trying to teach Laura the waltz in the ballroom. 

It was going very poorly…

“You have to let me lead, Ms. Laura,” Danny said for the nth time, laughing as Laura stumbled. 

“I thought I was! I thought you were!” Laura groaned.

Danny seemed like whatever was bothering her over the last week or so had melted away. She laughed and spun, doing her absolute best to teach Laura and protect her toes. 

“I should buy you steel toed shoes if we’re going to keep doing this,” Laura muttered, feeling quite terrible about how many times she’d bruised Danny’s poor feet. 

“It’s not that bad,” Danny tried, but Laura knew she was lying. She could see the winces. 

An hour in, Danny’s cell phone rang. She politely excused herself with a bow and went to speak to her friend.

While Danny was gone, Laura took a moment to marvel at the architecture of the room. The high windows, the rounded ceiling, the intricate woodwork. It didn’t need to be painted like the Sistine Chapel to be exquisite. She hadn’t really looked at the room since that fateful day of the party and there had been so many people inside. Now she was alone, no tables, no guests, no staff… The sun filtering in through the windows. It was beautiful. 

She took in a deep breath, pressed play on her music, and began to walk through the steps Danny had instructed. 

One-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three—

“Ms. Hollis?”

Startled, Laura almost yelped in shock. She whipped around, hand to her chest like it might slow her heart. “Ms. Karnstein!”

“What are you doing?” The tone she used sounded bored, almost judgmental, but the smirk she wore was far too playful. 

“Danny asked me to help her practice for her dance and well… since I don’t know how to waltz, she was teaching me…”

Carmilla pointedly glanced around the ballroom— the ballroom that was empty save for Laura. “Was she now?” She asked, raising her brows. 

Laughing at the tease, Laura rolled her eyes. “She’s on the phone with a friend.”

Nodding, the smirk still ever-present, Carmilla came further into the ballroom. “How was the lesson going?”

Laura grimaced. “Poorly.”

Carmilla nodded again, this time more solemnly. “So it would seem.”

“What?” Laura laughed, stopping herself from playfully swatting at her boss’s shoulder. “How would you know?”

“Your form is atrocious,” Carmilla said with such seriousness that for a minute Laura thought she was sincere. Then a smug smirk broke through and Laura could have smacked her. At Laura’s laugh and eyeroll, Carmilla held out her arms. “Here, I can give you some tips that might help.”

Laura eyed her suspiciously. “You’ve mocked me from the moment you came in… how do I know you’re being serious?”

Carmilla’s face took on that solemn look again. “My daughter’s toes are on the line.”

Laura laughed and stepped into Carmilla’s arms, placing her hands where Danny had shown her.

“First,” Carmilla instructed, “Relax.”

Laura frowned. “I am relaxed.”

Without warning, Carmilla took a quick step into Laura’s space and Laura, stiff as a board, would have fallen like a cut tree if not for Carmilla holding her steady.

“Okay, I could relax a little more, I guess,” she mumbled as Carmilla helped her to regain her balance. Not that it would be particularly easy as the woman she crushed on was holding her so very close, but she would try. There would be an attempt.

First, Carmilla fixed Laura’s stance, which was admittedly… terrible. The shifts and adjustments Carmilla made were far more than Laura had anticipated. Next, she gave some tips on following. 

“When you follow, your partner is giving the cues. If your partner is unsure, you will be unsure.” Carmilla took a step back, keeping Laura close, and although Laura still stumbled, it felt smoother than before. “You could know every step to every dance and still not be able to follow well.”

Laura frowned. She barely knew these and someone could know them all and still be bad at it?

Carmilla seemed to know what she was thinking. “It’s about trust, Ms. Hollis,” she said quietly, pulling Laura close again. Laura didn’t mean to keep leaning away, but she was afraid if she stayed that close, her heart would beat right out of her ribs.

“Trust,” Laura echoed, trying to keep herself from looking at their feet. “Right.” Carmilla kept the pace slow as she led Laura around the room. Laura tried to focus on the steps she thought Carmilla would do next, but she was wrong most of the time. She wanted to trust her partner but she was struggling on what exactly to do with that trust. 

“I started dancing lessons at a young age,” Carmilla said, startling Laura out of her concentration. 

Laura glanced at her. “Really? Were you always interested in it?”

Carmilla shrugged and spun Laura rather effortlessly. “Not at all.” At Laura’s confused frown, she said, “I come from a strict household. I was told I was to attend lessons and so I did.”

Still, Laura frowned. “Have you ever enjoyed it?”

A satisfied smile took over Carmilla’s thoughtful look. “As I grew up and started learning some of the history, I do think I started to take a liking to it…” She spun Laura again, pausing a moment with the music. 

“History?” Laura asked, far more intrigued by this bit of information than the lesson itself. 

“Oh, yes,” Carmilla answered with a smirk. “In the late 1600s, this was probably quite scandalous.”

Laura could have laughed. Ankles and elbows were scandalous, but waltzing?

“Consider…” Carmilla tugged Laura closer once more, but this time Laura hadn’t been leaning away. “Chest to chest…” Laura could feel the rise and fall of Carmilla’s breathing as if it happened in her own lungs. Their steps took them slowly around the center of the room, but Laura’s thoughts fell only to what was happening in every place she felt the pressure of Carmilla’s touch. Hands, chest, stomach, Carmilla’s palm in the small of her back… “All that whirling and twirling.” Laura’s gaze fixated on that confident smirk Carmilla still wore as she spoke. Instead of leaning away, she thought she might be leaning closer.

But if she was, she wasn’t the only guilty party. 

She saw Carmilla’s own gaze flicker, eyes to lips, back to eyes. Only a breath away, Carmilla practically whispered, “back then, it may as well have been—”

Abruptly, Carmilla pulled away and cleared her throat. Laura caught the briefest flash of irritation on her face and whatever trance they’d been in together was wholly shattered. 

“Well done, Ms. Hollis,” Carmilla said, releasing her. 

Laura was confused to say the least, until the last few minutes really caught up with her. While they spoke, Laura had forgotten to focus on the steps of the waltz. She’d forgotten to anticipate Carmilla’s next move… and in so doing… Carmilla had quite successfully led Laura to waltz around the ballroom. 

“You used my curiosity against me,” Laura accused, smiling at the cleverness of it all. 

Carmilla shrugged, hands half raised in surrender. “Guilty.” She stepped backwards in the direction that would lead to her office. “Thank you for the dance, but I really must get back to work.” 

With a wink, she was gone. 

Laughing, Laura tried her best not to wonder if maybe, just maybe…

Her own heart was gone too.

Chapter Text

On Tuesday night, Laura was in bed by 10:30. Allison, despite being busy with coaching, offered to take her out for some ice cream after dinner and Laura found no good reason to say no. (She decided not to think about why she was looking for an excuse…) Ice cream was ice cream, after all, and who really could say no to that?

So there she was, coming off of her sugar high but somehow feeling so dissatisfied. (There’s no way that came from the ice cream, right? It had peanut butter cups and cookie dough. How could that ever be disappointing?) Allison was great, of course. Beautiful, smart, funny, easy to talk to… But Laura was just really having a hard time. Then she worried that maybe Allison was picking up on her caution, her uncertainty. She didn’t seem to, but still Laura couldn’t help but wonder. Maybe Allison was just a better liar than she was.

As her phone buzzed with a text– Allison’s goodnight message, of course– Laura decided that maybe she just needed to try a little harder. She picked up the phone, texted back a good night message along with a thank you, several exclamation points, and an emoji that she hoped expressed the right amount of joy.

It felt good, really it did, so she let herself roll over for a good night’s rest and toyed around with some ideas on how to be sweet as she drifted off to sleep.

——

Surprisingly, Danny was allowed to play in the next game. Beforehand, Allison assured Laura that it had nothing to do with their date as she and Danny had a long talk on Monday and Danny promised to be on her best behavior.

Danny was certainly behaving, but to say it was her best was a longshot. Laura, still a rookie fan herself, could tell that Danny was playing with a lot of aggression. It wasn’t coming out in fouls or penalties or whatever, but she seemed so tense, so ready to snap and the drop of a… puck. (Laura tried not to laugh at her own joke, but couldn’t help but giggle.)

They lost by 3 and Laura wondered if Danny’s stick would break with how hard she clutched it.

On the way home, Danny didn’t speak to anyone. Laura tried to coax something from her, telling silly jokes when she could, but Danny just looked like she was trying to keep her rage from boiling over. Carmilla stopped Laura’s attempts with a gentle hand on her arm and a whispered, “Let her be.”

And so Laura did, but her heart ached all the way through the night into the next morning. She’d managed a few hours not thinking about Danny’s anger as she looked around the house for LaFontaine who was home on a half-day. (How these kids managed so many half days of school, she’d never know, but dang if she wasn’t jealous as all heck.) Suspicion was starting to brew in her thoughts and she sniffed the air a little for the smell of smoke. If she didn’t find LaFontaine in the next four minutes and twenty-seven seconds, there was a high likelihood that mischievous science was afoot. Couldn’t have that… again . 

Fortunately, she found LaFontaine two minutes later in the formal dining room with their mother. 

“Ah, L— Ms. Hollis,” Carmilla started, looking up from where she hovered over her youngest, who sat at the table with their head bowed low. At Carmilla’s announcement, LaF’s head snapped up and they looked right at Laura. 

LaFontaine’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. The throb Laura immediately felt in her heart was fierce. “What’s wrong?” She asked, quickly going over and kneeling down to the child’s level. 

Carmilla sighed and pushed a hand through her dark hair. Laura’s heart throbbed again for a different reason, but she shoved it away, LaFontaine taking priority. “LaFontaine is upset that they can’t go to the space program next year. The age range is 10-13.”

“I’m smart enough to go. I know more than kids my age!” They were still on the verge of tears, lip quivering. 

Pulling them close into a hug, Laura looked up at Carmilla who simply shrugged. “You’re brilliant,” Laura assured them, letting go and wiping away some of the tears that had spilled over on their cheeks. “Sometimes there have to be rules for these kinds of things.” She hesitated, trying to find a reason to explain. “Being older will make it loads more fun.”

Laura chewed on her lip as LaF stared at her, confusion on their face. An untouched container of cupcakes in front of her spawned what she hoped was a good enough example. 

“Sometimes we have to wait for things, even if it seems like we would really enjoy them right now. For example,” Laura gestured to the container, “Perry made these delicious cupcakes for the cast of her play.” LaF nodded, but still looked puzzled. “Perry knows they’re delicious. She knows that she would enjoy them right now if she ate them…” LaF’s confused stare didn’t change. “But she also knows that if she ate them with her friends later, they would be even more enjoyable.” LaFontaine’s brows furrowed. 

“Okay, but I don’t even like cupcakes that much.”

Carmilla failed to mask a snort of laughter and Laura shot a glare over LaF’s head. “I mean…” she looked back down at LaF, ignoring the smirk that played on Carmilla’s face. “Sometimes we have to wait for things. Sometimes there are rules for a reason. Are you smart enough to go to space camp? I’m sure of it . But you’re going to have so much more fun with other smart kids your age when the time is right.”

LaFontaine nodded, scrubbing at their eyes with the back of their hand. “Yeah, I guess Perry’s friends aren’t that fun.”

Laura laughed and squeezed them again before standing up. “Exactly! Buncha boring teenagers.”

“Will I be a boring teenager?”

Pretending to think hard about it, Laura tapped her chin. “I dunno,” she said, “but I’ll warn you if I see you start to get all stuffy and dull.” She winked for good measure. 

LaF smiled at her, then eyed the container of cupcakes. “Could I… have one?”

Laura frowned and placed her hand on her hips. “You just said you didn’t like them!”

Sheepishly, LaF averted their gaze. “I mean, I don’t like them as much as you do…”

Carmilla seemed to think it was a good time to chime in. “No one likes sweets as much as Ms. Hollis, huh?” 

“Hey!” Laura balked. 

Carmilla ruffled LaFontaine’s hair as she stepped closer. “I happen to know that Perry made some extras for us and left them in the kitchen. I bet Mel will give you one if you ask nicely.”

Both smiling, Carmilla and Laura watched LaF take off down the hall towards the kitchen.

“Thank you,” Carmilla said, turning her smile to Laura. “I was having trouble getting them to understand, but your analogy worked very well.”

Laura gave her a half shrug, eyes on the corner LaF had disappeared around. “I’m just glad that it worked. Not sure what I would have said if it hadn’t.”

Carmilla looked back down the hall, keeping Laura in her periphery. “I think the cupcake metaphor worked perfectly. Wanting something you can’t have. Waiting and waiting, knowing you get to enjoy it when the time is right… in the right company…” 

Something about the low tone in Carmilla’s voice made Laura look at her, but Carmilla seemed to purposely avoid her gaze. 

“You know,” Carmilla said, finally glancing at Laura before leaning in a little closer, her voice soft, “I think I could go for something sweet, too…”

Laura tilted her head, a little perplexed at Carmilla’s closeness. When she didn’t say a word, Carmilla started down the hall, the same direction LaF took. 

She spared one more glance behind, a smirk aimed right for Laura, and said, “Are you coming, Cupcake?”

Laura was fairly certain at that moment, her soul left her body.

——

Laura was frustrated. (Sexually, yes, but that wasn’t exactly a secret she was keeping from herself. Even the mail-person could probably tell she had a thirst and she’d probably only said hello twice.)

On one hand, she and Carmilla agreed that they were attracted to one another but that holding off was necessary. On the other, Carmilla was really throwing her some mixed signals. 

Sure, she could excuse the Romeo and Juliet scene as acting, but it’s not as if the kiss was mandatory. (She may not have had stage experience past the second grade spring pageant, but she knew stage kisses were a thing and that lips did not touch.)

It’s not even like they had discussed waiting for one another, it was really just a big red X on something they both wanted. Hence the Allison situation that Laura also found confusing but in an entirely different way. 

So what was a woman to do?

Nothing. She would do absolutely nothing. Every time she tried to come to any sort of decision or solution, either a child burst into her thinking space with some urgent question or need… or her brain would go into self preservation mode and she’d hear something in the back of her thoughts that sounded all too similar to the MacBook startup noise and… what was she thinking about again?

Oh well.

——

Perry’s hard work absolutely paid off on the opening night of her play. There were moments that Laura completely forgot that the person on stage was the quiet, middle child who was obsessed with propriety and cleaning. 

Laura had never been so enamored with a stage play. Musicals were easy for Laura to lose herself in, but for a school play to keep her attention for so long? She couldn’t be prouder. So what if she was mouthing the words opposite of Perry’s role? So what if Carmilla kept side-eyeing Laura throughout the night as if she was trying not to laugh?

So what if the only thing that pulled Laura from her focus was the feeling of Carmilla’s knee brushing hers as she shifted in the uncomfortable auditorium seats?

None of that mattered because her heart was so, so full of pride. (But maybe she should have put LaFontaine between them. Next time? She could do that next time.) 

Perry seemed so natural on stage, Laura had to wonder if she’d learned it from her mother.

On the way home in the limousine, Perry sat next to one of her theater friends, talking on and on about the production, the excitement, and the little behind-the-scenes moments Laura hadn’t been privy to. Laura listened with a smile on her face, watching Perry talk more than Laura had ever seen her speak to anyone, even her family. Her heart was tight in her chest for how full it was.

Glancing to her left, Laura could see LaFontaine falling asleep against the window that they insisted on sitting by. “I get carsick,” they’d whined, knowing full well Laura knew better but would give in anyway.

To her right, Carmilla sat against the other window, her head turned as if she was watching the world pass by, but as lights passed through the tinted glass, Laura could easily see the slightest curl of a smile. More than once they caught one another’s gaze only to glance away.

Laura, squished between the two Karnsteins– a limo was only so wide after all– did her best to keep to herself, but as LaF slept on, they slowly slid into her space. Maybe it would have bothered her if anyone else had been on her opposite side, but as Carmilla said nothing, Laura thought it would be best to do the same. So she said nothing as she was nudged further into Carmilla’s space, and she let the gentle warmth of Carmilla’s side seep into her.

The way to Perry’s castmate’s home was only a few minutes away when Laura’s phone vibrated with a text. It was Allison letting her know that practice was over.

Laura’s first thought was about the time Danny would arrive home. That quickly changed when Allison’s next text was an invitation to go out again sometime soon. Frowning, but not entirely sure why that was her initial reaction, Laura tucked her phone away and let herself focus on Perry’s laughter for the remainder of the trip.

LaFontaine was roused with a start as the limousine pulled to a final stop, signaling their arrival home. Laura couldn’t help but laugh at the little forehead and cheek imprint they’d left behind on the window. Mel won’t be happy about that, Laura thought with a smile.

She had to admit, this may not have been where she’d envisioned herself at this point in her life, but it was surprisingly enjoyable. 

Mostly. 

On the walk back to the house, Laura stared down at her phone. She was hesitating on the exact reply she should send and frustrated at herself for feeling hesitant in the first place. 

“Ms. Hollis?”

Carmilla’s voice was soft but clear in the quiet of the night around them. Looking up, Laura saw that Perry and LaFontaine were already back in the house. Carmilla stood at the base of the small set of stairs up to the back door, waiting. Laura’s heart skipped a beat at the background, errant, (totally unnecessary!) thought that they were now alone together.

“Is everything alright? You’re looking at your phone as though you received some bad news.”

The observation immediately caused guilt to crawl up the back of Laura’s throat. “What? No! No! Not at all!” She laughed it off and slipped her phone into her back pocket. “I’m just tired and, um… thinking.” It was the truth, even if a nagging little voice in the back of her head tried to convince her otherwise.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

The smile she gave felt a little too forced, even though it was small. “Where to take Allison on our next date.” Still not really a lie, right?

Carmilla’s reaction in the next moment was something Laura found odd. She seemed to scoff at the idea, but it was so slight, Laura couldn’t be sure. Then Carmilla rolled her eyes and turned for the door, mumbling to herself, but still loud enough that Laura heard: “Guess Coach York is still trying to take a shot at that five hole.”

Laura meant to laugh. She meant to smile and make a sassy remark to match Carmilla’s wit, but a question rang out in her thoughts, so bold and bright that she had to ask it. 

The feeling that had come over her was so abrupt that her words reflected it just the same. “Are you my boss or my friend?”

Carmilla stopped as she reached for the door to the kitchen. They were outside alone still , Mel having driven off to park the limousine in the garage. Quietly, and still frozen, Carmilla asked, “What?” As if she hadn’t heard Laura clearly. 

Emboldened, Laura stepped closer and crossed her arms, leaning into Carmilla’s field of vision. “Are we friends or are you my boss, because that joke is only appropriate with one of those titles.”

Clearly still taken aback, Carmilla’s gaze drifted over Laura’s expression. Laura wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but Carmilla seemed hesitant as she turned around and leaned back against the door. “What would you prefer, Ms. Hollis?”

Laura stopped herself from blurting “friends” so readily. She needed to really think about it. Probably. For at least another moment. As she opened her mouth to answer, she found that really both options weren’t all that satisfying. So instead, she deflected. “Which would you prefer?” And then it went downhill, “Because there was the cellar, and the shower incident, then the zipper getting stuck and–” It only occurred to Laura how filthy these things might sound to someone who didn’t know the context after the words left her mouth. So she shut her mouth so fast her teeth clicked. There’d been many more mixed signals Laura could have named, but for once her brain let her keep those thoughts to herself. Praise be to Gilgamesh. 

Carmilla took a minute to ponder the question, her eyes not leaving Laura’s. This moment had already inspired Laura’s heart to thump loudly in her ears. Carmilla’s stare only made it worse. Just as Laura’s nerve began to falter and she was a second from looking away, breaking that eye contact that drew her in so fiercely, Carmilla spoke, “I would say our working relationship is already fairly unorthodox.”

Unable to argue, Laura smiled. “I would agree…” 

“And we’re under an arrangement that wasn’t what either of us originally intended…” 

Laura nodded. If Carmilla was hoping she’d jump in with an embarrassing ramble at any moment, she would be disappointed. It was a rare moment that found Laura with very little to say. 

“I think friendship is something we could… attempt.” Carmilla looked away briefly as she said it ( was she… shy? ) and nothing had ever prepared Laura to be so pleased and yet so disappointed in the word “friendship”. 

“Friends,” Laura affirmed, holding out her hand. It wasn’t until Carmilla quirked a questioning brow that Laura realized how awkward it was to offer to shake on this decision. Before she could pull her hand back, Carmilla’s palm was in hers.

“Friends,” Carmilla agreed, shaking on it.

In the moment, Laura smiled, but every minute that ticked by thereafter felt… soured.

Later, Laura was alone in the kitchen, absently stirring her cocoa as she stared at nothing in particular. The kids had been put to bed a little over an hour ago so she was free to do as she pleased. She could work on an article, watch Firefly or Buffy, or she could do a little reading as one of her favorite fanfictions finally updated… but she felt too distracted to do any of that. The problem that prevented her from having a better evening was that she couldn’t get past that… F word.

Friendship . Laura scowled as she brought the mug to her lips. Nothing like a fresh cup of cocoa to lift her spirits.

A loud, violent cough came from behind her and startled her into spilling half her cocoa onto the countertop. She could have cried at the loss. (She didn’t, but she could have.)

The villain whose actions struck down a beautiful, innocent cup of cocoa before it could be enjoyed?

Mel. She didn’t even have to look to know. 

“Would you please go see a doctor?” Laura groaned, putting her mug down— Away from the new, very hot puddle. 

Behind her, Mel scoffed, but it threw her into a coughing fit that really missed the sass mark she’d been aiming for. It just proved Laura’s question to be pertinent. 

“I’m perfectly fine without seeing a doctor, Ms. Hollis,” Mel said after the fit died off. “My immune system will take care of it.”

“It would take care of it faster if you’d just—”

“Look, I have a lot of work to do, Hollis,” Mel sighed, coming around the counter, only to stop dead when she saw the spill.

The longer Laura stayed in the Karnstein house, the less politely Mel was addressing her. Laura liked to think of it as a budding friendship… but she was ignoring that word and its meaning so really she didn’t think anything of it at all. Nope. “It would help —” Laura tried in exasperation, only to mute herself as Mel held up a hand to silence her. 

“The only help ,” Mel gave Laura a stern look, “I need is for you to stop making more work for me.” She nodded towards the spill. 

Laura rolled her eyes and grumbled in frustration, grabbing a handful of paper towels from the nearby roll. “Wouldn’t have spilled if you weren’t hacking up both lungs at once,” she muttered mutinously. 

Mel only rolled her eyes in response before she walked away.

Laura, of course, stuck out her tongue at Mel’s retreating form. 

____

It wasn’t exactly a nightmare that woke Laura, but it certainly wasn’t a good dream. A larger-than-normal black cat had stolen her cookie and while dream-Laura had done her very best to hide her other desserts, the cat kept finding her every time she tried to hide her precious cupcake. It seemed so odd to be distressed by such a silly dream, but she just couldn’t escape. No matter where Laura went, the cat would show up and bare its sharp teeth in something close to a grin. But how could a cat even grin? And what did a cat want with a sugary confection anyhow? Could cats even taste sugar? LaFontaine would probably know that obscure tidbit of information.

Laura just chalked it up to dreams being weird and hoped to remember later to ask LaFontaine if they knew anything about cat taste buds. It was a 50/50 chance they would.

Sighing heavily, Laura blinked sleepily at the red numbers on her alarm clock. 1:00AM. That wasn’t too terrible. Once her adrenaline settled, maybe she’d still get a reasonable amount of sleep. Maybe she could walk it off?

Stretching a bit as she sat up, she slid into her fuzzy slippers and a plush robe. Late November made for cold nights, especially in such a large house. 

The house was silent save for the gentlest whirr of the heat coming from the vents and the scuffling sound of Laura’s tired gait. Her feet took her to one of her more frequented rooms of the house: the kitchen. (She wasn’t the sort of person to worry about why she naturally wound up in the kitchen or why it was the most frequented room for her, but surely if it was something she needed to think about, the answer would be: that’s where the cookies were.)

While a warm mug of cocoa sounded delightful, even Laura knew better than to drink something so sweet before heading back to bed. (At least, post-3rd-cavity Laura knew that…) Instead, she got a glass from the cabinet and filled it with tepid water. 

Two large gulps and a satisfied sigh later, Laura poured the rest out and put the glass in the dishwasher. She’d kept the lights off as the hallways had nightlights and the soft glow of the appliances in the kitchen gave off enough light to meander around. Turning a light on would only shock her pupils into keeping her more awake than she really wanted to be. 

Allowing herself one more stretch, she thought her little journey had drained just enough of that adrenaline that by the time she made it back upstairs to her room she might easily fall back asleep. 

At least, it would have… until she rounded the corner to go up the stairs and smacked right into a solid object that was far too warm to be a forgotten wall or some kind of specter. Just as she stumbled backwards and clutched at her nose, hands grasped her upper arms and kept her from falling.

“Who th– Ms. Hollis?” 

“Yes?” Laura asked blearily, blinking at the tears welling in her eyes from the bump. She didn’t need to see to know exactly who spoke.

“You scared me,” Carmilla sighed, pressing a hand to her heart as soon as it was clear Laura wasn’t about to topple over. “Are you alright? I thought you were one of the children sneaking around.”

“Nope, just me,” Laura said, scrunching her nose this way and that as if it needed to be tested. She double checked with a quick tap and nothing hurt. 

“Are you alright?”

Laura looked at Carmilla then, her watery eyes clearing up, and immediately all her sleepiness was gone. Oh .

There before her stood her boss, bespectacled and ever gorgeous in the faint glow of the kitchen appliance lights.  And although Laura never thought she had a type , it suddenly occurred to her that maybe one was developing. 

Carmilla’s hair was up in a messy knot and smart, black frames rested on her nose. A slouchy, old sweatshirt exposed one smooth shoulder and Laura didn’t know where to look. It was all too cute and sexy at once. 

As Carmilla looked expectantly at Laura, it was only then Laura realized she’d been asked a question. Panicking, her mind threw several questions AND answers at her in a jumbled mess. For some reason ‘oh no, you’re hot’ and ‘I think I’ve suddenly developed a thing for the librarian look’ wound up in the running for answers she could spout off, but somehow she was able to keep those at bay. An odd, “Mmn?” Is all she managed to keep from looking like a loon. 

“Are you alright?” Carmilla repeated, tilting her head. “Why are you up so late?”

Since ‘I had a dream that a cat was stealing my cupcake’ didn’t seem like a great answer, Laura chose, “I just needed some water,” and, “what about you?”

Carmilla glanced back up the stairs, like she was still listening for mischief. “Mn,” she murmured, hesitating. “Sometimes… I find it difficult to sleep. Stress, usually.”

Laura frowned. Sleepless nights didn’t typically cure stress, she knew. So she decided: now that she wasn’t all that tired anymore… Maybe she could assist. “Do you have anything to help you fall asleep when this happens?”

“Not typically, no,” Carmilla answered, crossing her arms to keep in some warmth.

“You just lay there? Waiting? Worrying?” If that was the case, it was no wonder she couldn’t fall asleep.

Carmilla smirked, humoring her. “No,” she said, clearly fighting a bigger smile. “On the worst nights, I go to the upper living room and watch the stars.” Laura felt her heart swell a little at the thought. Something about it seemed romantic. (Not in the amorous, take-me-on-a-date way, but the sort of thing her favorite heroines in her favorite books did to pass the time or think deeply on an unsettling matter.) It was fitting, she felt.

“I didn’t realize the view would be so good from that room,” Laura said, half-fibbing. To be fair, Laura never really thought about it to have any type of realization on the matter.

Carmilla glanced up the stairs again, hugging herself tighter, and then looked back to Laura. “Would you like to see?” Laura couldn’t help her surprise at the offer, but Carmilla took her pause as a means to decline. “I’m sorry, you probably want to get back to sleep, Ms. Hollis.”

“No!” Laura said abruptly, a bit too loud for the middle of the night. She cleared her throat, trying to recover. “No,” she tried again. At Carmilla’s curious look, she waved her off. “I probably wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon, it’s fine.”

With the smallest shrug, Carmilla turned and led Laura upstairs.

—

Even with Laura’s bedroom being on the same floor as the upper living room, it wasn’t a space she frequented often. The children tended to stay in the study, kitchen, rec room, or library, if not their own rooms. When Laura learned that there were two living rooms in one house, she felt like Mel was playing a practical joke on her, but Perry confirmed that there were indeed two. In the weeks Laura had been with the Karnsteins, Laura couldn’t remember if she ever looked out these windows on a clear night.

To one side of the large, floor to ceiling windows, two plush, oversized armchairs sat angled towards one another with a small, circular table between them. One of the chairs had a fuzzy blanket haphazardly tossed over the back and a thick book on the cushion. Carmilla went to pluck the blanket from where it waited for her return, but she paused for a moment and looked at Laura. “Are you warm enough?”

Laura looked down at her fuzzy robe and slippers, wiggling her toes as if trying to show that they were warm. She realized the idea was lost in the dark at this distance when Carmilla still waited for an answer. “Quite!” she answered, plopping into the armchair and pulling her feet free from the slippers to tuck them underneath her.

Carmilla settled in then, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders like a shawl and tucking her feet up in much the same way Laura had. She placed the book on the small table and try as she might, Laura wasn’t able to see the title. Carmilla’s attention was immediately taken by the stars and it took Laura a moment to look away from the woman and face the sky herself.

It was immediately clear to Laura why someone might come here to spend their time. The Karnstein mansion was near the city, but far enough away that the light pollution didn’t completely obscure their view. Laura could see the major constellations (though she would never put money on being able to name them), and even some of the accompanying stars around them. She never would have seen this view back where she lived in the innermost part of the city.

“Suitable?”

Laura felt like she was woken out of a trance. “Hm?”

“The view,” Carmilla said, amused. “Is it suitable?”

Nodding, Laura looked back to the sky and thought about what brought them here. Stress was keeping Carmilla awake for some reason. After a long pause, she quietly asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Carmilla looked her way, waiting for more.

“You said you couldn’t sleep because of stress,” Laura said, leaning against the arm of the chair and putting her chin into her palm. “So… do you want to talk about it?”

In the silvery light of the night, Laura could still see Carmilla’s eye roll. “No,” she replied, smirking. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Laura scoffed quietly. “Let me rephrase,” she said, matching Carmilla’s tone. “Do you need to talk about it?” After a moment, Laura found the courage to drag up the… word … that she’d tried to bury. It was a time of need. “Maybe,” she said, willing the words to come from her mouth without a fight. “To a… friend?” It took everything she had not to spit the word out, despite the very real fact that it had been her own idea.

Carmilla tilted her head and regarded Laura for a long moment. She narrowed her eyes skeptically. “Why do I feel like this is going to bite me later,” she said wryly.

Gasping dramatically, Laura put a hand to her heart. “I would never bite you!” she exclaimed, still quiet enough that her voice didn’t echo against the high ceilings. 

That night, it was Carmilla’s soft laugh that finally broke the ice. Shaking her head as if she had to put up with the mere idea of sharing her worries with a friend , she opened up little by little as the night wore on.

Laura didn’t get to bed until close to 3:30 that morning, and even then it took her a bit to fall asleep. She found that the… F word… wasn’t as bad as she’d made it out to be. It was because of that word that Carmilla had confided in Laura about her love of the stars. About how sometimes she felt lonely and that as a child she used to wonder if the moon felt lonely too. She’d lived in a large city as a child and at night the skies looked barren. When she’d look up, it looked like the moon was alone, and so little Carmilla decided to keep the moon company when she could– when Maman didn’t catch her, at least. Throughout her tale, Laura sat enraptured, learning more than she’d ever thought she would about this woman.

Eventually, Carmilla said, she started to realize that the stars were there, they just weren’t always obvious. It reflected similarly in her own life, and so she’s always felt connected to them in some way. Still, she couldn’t help but feel that sometimes, sometimes the moon was lonely. She’d smiled as she spoke, and looked up into the night sky. “I don’t know when I realized it,” she said quietly, “but… the times I thought she might be lonely?” Carmilla’s gaze slid to Laura. “It was me.”

A lump had formed in Laura’s throat. They’d looked at one another for a while, a shadow of a smile still on Carmilla’s lips. Finally, Laura found her voice, and it was as if her heart trembled with every word. “Is she lonely now?” she asked.

The shadow of Carmilla’s smile grew, and Laura hoped it wasn’t a trick of the low light. “No,” Carmilla had said, not looking away, “She has a friend, I heard.”

How was Laura honestly supposed to be able to sleep after a conversation like that? She couldn’t. She’d never in her life felt so moved by the word ‘ friend ’ and she’d spent the last handful of hours utterly despising it. And Carmilla simply excused herself right after, reasoning that she had a busy day ahead of her and thanked Laura for the company. It had taken Laura a good three minutes to just collect herself enough to make it back to her room.

Flipping her pillow to the cool side, Laura sighed in defeat and picked up her phone. Maybe if she scrolled through Tumblr long enough she’d either fall asleep or time would cease to exist until her morning alarm went off.

One could only hope.