Chapter Text
It’s an unusually warm day in December. Feeling merry, you and Aziraphale enjoy a fun day out. Choose your adventure.
A. A meteor shower in quiet, pristine nature while enjoying deep conversation
B. A picnic feast at the bandstand & then watching one of William’s best plays
C. Vigorous activities that break many laws
D. Holding hands and walking through your favorite places around the world
As the day goes on, it gets chillier, so you both take a break. What’s the best drink to warm up with in the winter?
A. Hot cocoa (with marshmallows, obviously)
B. Warm, mulled wine
C. Strong herbal tea
D. Well-made, black coffee
Soon after that lovely drink, you and your angel retreat to the bookshop for many rounds of even stronger drinks. As is often the case, you both end up talking about humanity.
What do you love most about humanity?
_________________________________ (Fill in the Blank)
You both agree on what you don’t like about humanity. What do you dislike about humanity?
_________________________________(Fill in the Blank)
The conversation meanders and you both playfully argue over a serious question: Does the modern holiday season win more souls for Heaven or Hell?
A. Heaven
B. Hell
You believe the holiday season brings out the worst in people, Aziraphale believes it brings out their best. To prove your point, you suggest a competition. If you can tempt more humans to sin, you win. If Aziraphale can inspire more humans to virtue, he wins.
The winner of the competition gets 1 fulfilled request from the loser. After winning, what would you ask Aziraphale for?
_________________________________(Fill in the Blank)
Requests remain secret for now & you both come to an agreement for the competition. How do you want to seal the deal?
A. You both sign a written document with your true names (huge sign of trust)
B. A traditional handshake (the same way you both agreed to the Arrangement)
You temporarily leave Aziraphale to his good deeds while you make some trouble.
To stir-up some wrath, you stall all the lifts in London for several hours with the same song on repeat.
Which song on repeat would cause the most wrath?
A. “Jingle Bells”
B. “Joy to the World”
C. “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”
D. “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”
Hoping for a break from the cold, you visit Calabar, Nigeria. A massive, month-long carnival has swept up the city. Impressed with the lush and decadent costumes, you decide to march in one of the parades (after causing some trouble of course).
What theme do you base your costume on?
A. An aardvark
B. A fruit tree
C. A peacock
D. An angel
Close to Christmas you drop by Osaka, Japan. Due to a cock-up, you end up with 267 buckets of highly sought-after KFC chicken.
What do you do with this chicken?
A. Create pretentious & over-priced abstract art
B. Sneak into Hell to feed the hellhounds
C. Give it away to people who never ate KFC before to foster future gluttony
D. Make ridiculous online bidding wars for said chicken
Still in possession of extra buckets of KFC chicken, you decide to use your leftovers to create zombie chickens who will terrorize bosses into paying their workers more.
Whose bosses do you target with your zombie chickens for increased worker wages?
A. Restaurant workers
B. Childcare workers
C. Retail workers
D. Custodians
You pop by Oaxaca, Mexico during Noche de los Rabanos to admire the huge variety of radish sculptures. Feeling inspired by the human craftsmanship all around you, you carve radish art for Aziraphale as a gift.
What do you carve for Aziraphale?
_________________________________(Fill in the Blank)
After creating a hand-made gift with meticulous care, you’re compelled to stir some trouble to balance things out.
What kind of mischief do you cause in Oaxaca?
A. Tempt a sculptor into loudly bragging about how his radish art is the best
B. Make it heavily rain long enough to cause an outbreak of wet shoes & socks
C. Reconfigure the internet, so that it only shows radish memes & nothing else
D. Reconfigure all the TVs, so they only display Welsh-language television
Your mischief ferments some ill will, but it also gives the entire city a good laugh and oddly enough, causes some people to be more charitable. Best not let Aziraphale know. You slink off before you accidentally do anything else nice. Ngk.
You return to England for Christmas Eve, and you make your way to the rendezvous point where you plan to meet Aziraphale: The Dowling Residence.