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Six calls and it was barely noon.
Sylvie didn’t need this today.
As much as she loved her job, there were days when she just wanted to go home and curl up on the couch with something sweet and HGTV. Today was one of those days, and of course it would be a day that she and Violet were run off their feet. In a way, the distraction of work had been good, but not enough for her to be grateful for it. Not when she couldn’t still her thoughts no matter how hard she tried.
It had been this way for a few months now. She had a lot to think about, a lot to work on, a lot to consider – and it was the anticipation that came with it all that was causing her the most chaos in the life she had spent three years getting comfortable with.
It started three months ago when Hawkins had called and asked her to come to headquarters for a meeting. She nervously accepted, fearing that Hawkins would pull the plug on Paramedicine, or she was in trouble for something she did on a call. It took a little bit of convincing from Violet that maybe Hawkins had something good to share with her, though she wasn’t completely sold on it. She brought Hawkins some freshly baked cookies, as if it would somehow soften him if there was bad news to give.
Violet had been right, however. He’d met her with a smile when she’d walked into his office.
“We would like you to take the ambulance commander examination and once you pass, there is a position waiting for you at headquarters. You are one of the finest paramedics the CFD has ever seen, and we believe that more paramedics deserve to learn from you. As well as that, we think you’d be in a better position to extend Paramedicine not only across Illinois but into other states too. Bottom line Brett – you’re a leader. A compassionate and skilful one. We need you up at the top. How about it?”
Sylvie had been stunned by Hawkins’ words. She didn’t know what to say – and she said that directly to him. He’d chuckled lightly, figuring that this wasn’t what she’d expected. He told her to give it some thought, see how she felt. He understood that people who worked at Firehouse 51 had a real devotion to it and stepping away as PIC there would be a hard adjustment, but he was sure it was the right one and hoped she would see that too.
Once she’d managed to gather her thoughts, she agreed to think about it and let him know her decision. It seemed like an obvious choice, but she still hesitated. It was only when she spoke to Matt later that afternoon that she admitted out loud why she was reluctant to more forward in her career.
*Three Months Ago*
“It’s about damn time.”
Sylvie chuckled down the line at Matt’s words. If it was up to her boyfriend, he would have her running the entire CFD. He was convinced all the white shirts could learn from her colour coded binder system.
“Yeah, I mean – it’s a huge compliment and it’s a nice feeling knowing that headquarters think I could do this.” Sylvie downplayed with a little shrug. She wasn’t nearly as excited about it as Matt seemed to be. She just felt uneasy.
“Sylvie, you’re allowed to be excited about this. You’re allowed to celebrate your accomplishments.” He told her softly, evidently picking up on her hesitant tone.
“No, I know, it’s not that.” She replied with a gulp. “You’re going to think I’m being ridiculous.”
“When have I ever thought you were being ridiculous?” he challenged.
“Ok, fair point…” she mumbled, having nothing to counter his rebuttal with. He may playfully roll his eyes and tease her about her sugary snacks or her music taste or her hatred of Halloween and obsession with getting them matching pyjamas at Christmas time, but he never once thought of her as ridiculous – especially when it came to the big life stuff.
“I just feel like for the past three years I’ve been hesitant to make any decisions about my life because I don’t like moving forward without you.” She blurted out.
Matt remained silent on the other end of the line. Sylvie hated reminding him that long distance hadn’t been easy on them. Yes, they were just as in love as they were three years ago, they got into a rhythm with phone calls and visits and everything in between – but they had bad days. They had days when they missed each other more than usual. When they wished all of this would be over. That they could just be together.
Professional stability was something that Sylvie felt grounded her as they worked through this unexpected personal hurdle. Now, it felt like her professional stability was being rocked, even if it was for something new and exciting and earned. She just wanted to have come home from that meeting with him on their couch in their house, his arms open to hug her and kiss her and celebrate her professional excitement like it was his.
“Sylvie…” Matt finally choked out in a quiet voice. “You’re not making decision without me, I’m right here—”
“But you’re not really, are you?” she interrupted, her tone a little harsher than expected. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair. I shouldn’t act like it wasn’t my choice to do long distance.”
“No, you’re right. I’m not there. Not in the way we both want me to be. In the way we’ve both wanted me to be for three years, and you’re allowed to find that hard, and you’re allowed to tell me that it’s hard and frustrating.” He replied quietly. “And you were not alone in the choice to do this long distance.”
Sylvie sighed and ran her hand across her forehead, “I don’t want to make you feel bad for going because you were right to go. I just – I really miss you. I just want to start planning a future that has you right beside me for the rest of our lives.”
“I want that too, baby. So much.” He said immediately, the intention as clear in his voice now as it was when he first left. He was coming back. He was coming back to her. That wasn’t going to change. “And we’re so close to having it – we just need to push through these next few months. This opportunity, it’s not going to change that. You can say yes with my full support. With the knowledge that I’ll be home soon and physically standing in your corner. Always.”
Sylvie bit her lip to try and ward off her tears. He was right, and she knew all of this, but it didn’t stop the wobbles coming every now and again, and it would never stop her missing him. She knew there were conversations to be had about him coming home, but in that moment, her professional life was coming first and that was ok.
“I love you” she whispered down the line.
“I love you too. More than anything.”
Sylvie had gone into work the following day with her mind 99% made up. She just wanted to have a conversation with Boden and Violet first. She knew they would be fully supportive, but they deserved a conversation before she gave Hawkins her answer.
Boden had smiled at her like a proud father and said he expected this day to come sooner rather than later. He told her she was one of the finest paramedics he’d had the pleasure of working with and he would not take another call with her on 61 for granted from here on out, because as proud as he was, he would miss having her at 51 tremendously.
With Violet, there had been a few more tears. Violet was her partner and her dear friend. They’d blubbered their way through “I love yous” and “I’m proud of yous” and “I’m not leaving yet to stop making me crys,” but as Sylvie already expected, Violet was on board and knew she was exactly what the white shirts needed up in headquarters.
That afternoon, she made the call to Hawkins that she wanted to do this, and she began preparing to take the exam.
Now, three months later, she’d sat the examination the day before and was anxious about the results. At the time, she’d felt confident in her responses, but now that she’d had time to mull it over, the doubt started setting in. Stella had tried to keep her out of her funk last night by distracting her with cocktails at Molly’s and then a sleepover with Violet, and it had helped – right up until she had the strangest conversation with Matt on the phone.
“You ok, Brett?” Violet asked her partner as they arrived back at 51. “You seem a little quiet today. Still thinking about the exam?”
“Yeah, a little. I know you guys fell asleep pretty quickly yesterday, but I wasn’t so lucky.” She told her with a tight smile.
“That’s understandable. You had a crazy day yesterday.” Violet sympathised. She would be surprised if Sylvie had slept well last night.
“Yeah. It was… I don’t know what it was. I had the strangest conversation with Matt after the exam.” She revealed as the conversation ran through her head repeatedly.
“Strange how?” Violet queried.
“We were talking about the exam and then about Ben graduating high school last week and his summer backpacking trip, and I thought the conversation was going to lead to what happens next - like when was he coming home – but… nope. He ended the conversation a little abruptly, said Ben needed his help with something, that he would talk to me tomorrow and… that was that.” Sylvie explained.
Violet scrunched up her face in confusion, “That doesn’t sound like Casey. Maybe he’s just waiting until you hear from the exam board before talking about him coming home?”
“Yeah, maybe.” Sylvie mumbled. Over the past three years, the ‘coming home’ conversations had been limited to ‘I’ll be home soon’ talks. Purposefully vague, nothing concrete. They were almost afraid to have those conversations. The fear of making plans that could implode was real, so they took things as they came. Over the past few months, Sylvie had been so focused on her exam and Matt so focused on getting Ben through his finals, that the time they thought they would have to plan had completely escaped them.
Ben had graduated, he was going back packing all summer, Sylvie’s exam was done – and she had no idea what came next. She was desperate for them to be purposefully concrete, not vague.
“I’m sure it’s nothing.” Sylvie insisted, and she was sure about that. He’d been swept away by the boys more times than she could count, and she was already on edge about the exam. “I’m just going through a big professional adjustment and I’m projecting onto the personal. Matt’s been great these past few months and I know that no matter what we’ll keep being us.”
Violet nodded, “Absolutely. He said he would talk to you today and if Casey is anything he is good for his word. You’ll have it all ironed out in no time.”
Sylvie gave her a tight smile to show she was grateful for her support. Everything just felt a little surreal right now. Her life was slotting perfectly into place, and she feared it was too good to be true. She’d normally been one to look for the good. To remain optimistic. But until she got the call about her examination results and until she had Matt in her arms, she was choosing caution.
Before she could dwell on it further, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She lifted it out and saw that it was a private number, meaning only one thing – headquarters was calling with the results of her examination. Violet gave her a knowing look before she stepped out of the ambulance so she could take the call.
Here we go. She thought before she answered the call and sent a greeting down the receiver.
After her phone call, Sylvie slowly walked into the lounge. She figured Violet must have told everyone what the call was about, because they were all there looking eagerly at her, waiting for the impending announcement. Her face remained neutral for a few moments before she broke out into a smile.
“I passed!”
The room erupted in cheers before everyone took their turns to hug and congratulate her. At the same time, Gallo and Ritter were quickly bringing out balloons, cake, bowls of Sylvie’s favourite sweets – the works. She wondered if they knew something before she did, but Herrmann insisted nobody questioned she’d pass with flying colours, so they did some shopping yesterday for her.
She was so grateful for this family. They always made her feel so loved.
She excused herself and said she would be back in two minutes for a slice of cake, but she had to call Matt first. He was the first person she wanted to tell but his phone had initially gone to voicemail, and she wanted to try again. Much to her disappointment, the same happened again.
She made her way back into the lounge, a little bit deflated by Matt’s lack of contact. She knew it wasn’t a big deal and that she would be able to tell him soon, but she just wanted to celebrate with him. In person. She didn’t want to celebrate anything ever again without him.
51 did a pretty good job at distracting her from her long-distance relationship fatigue that afternoon. Cruz even prepared a special meal that night in celebration and Sylvie ate mountains of cake. She was really going to miss seeing them every third day. She decided there and then that she would visit whenever she could. This was her home and a new office at headquarters wasn’t going to change that.
When everyone started to wind down for the evening, Sylvie decided to make sure that their inventory was done so they wouldn’t have as much to do in the morning. The sooner she could get home to HGTV and her pyjamas, the better.
She walked around the side of the ambulance and opened the side door to lift out their jump bags, but she didn’t get very far before she was interrupted.
“It’s Ambulance Commander Brett, right?”
Sylvie jumped out of her skin, her hand flying to her chest at the unexpected but familiar voice behind her, jokingly pretending not to know her.
“Jesus, Matt.” She said through her teeth as she spun around to find Matt leaning against the truck with a cheeky grin on his face. “How did you know?”
“I don’t officially, but it really is a no brainer.”
Sylvie let a little grin cover her face. She’d been waiting to tell him this all day. “I passed.” She confirmed quietly.
Matt beamed at her, “Congratulations. I’m really proud of you.”
The grin soon fell from Sylvie’s face when she remembered that he dropped off the face of the Earth today and was now unexpectedly standing in front of her. “What are you doing here?” she asked quietly.
Matt shrugged lightly, “I said we’d talk today, so here I am. To talk.”
Sylvie quirked a brow and crossed her arms over her chest in an act of defiance. She wanted nothing more than to leap into his arms and not let him go, but she was desperate to keep her cool and find out why the hell he decided to, firstly, scare the shit out of her, and secondly, show up in Chicago without telling her. It was hard to hold back, however. He was like a magnet and resisting his touch felt futile.
“You flew all the way to Chicago just to talk?” she asked, as she awkwardly cleared her throat. Trying to resist him was a task, but she could do it. He could be the one to come to her.
“Ben graduated high school last week. He left yesterday morning to travel across Europe for the next few months before heading to college in Michigan.”
Sylvie nodded her head. She knew all of this. They were so proud of Ben and what he’d achieved. He’d come out of the dark place that Matt had found him in. He and Griffin were happy and thriving and they had Matt to thank for redirecting their futures to a place they deserved to be.
But – why was he recounting what she already knew?
“I heard. That still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”
“Doesn’t it?” Matt asked as he grinned at her and finally started to walk towards her. “Three years are up, baby. I’m home.”
Sylvie blinked at him a few times, her face remaining neutral. She wanted nothing more than to have him home, but she was almost scared to believe him. Not 8 hours ago, nothing about her future felt clear. She didn’t know if she’d passed her exam, she didn’t know when Matt was planning on coming home or what that would look like for them.
She subtly pinched the skin on her arm. That would wake her up if she was dreaming.
Amusement spread over Matt’s face. “Did you just pinch yourself?”
“I just wanted to make sure this wasn’t a dream.” She blushed.
Matt’s chuckle radiated through her bones. That was real.
Matt’s touch against her cheeks as he lifted his hands to them, his thumbs gently running under her cheekbones. That was real.
This entire moment was real.
She was going to be an ambulance commander and her love was home.
“This is definitely not a dream. Not anymore.” He insisted.
Sylvie felt a shot of joy spread through her. Her fatigue was gone. Her frustration was gone. She just felt light. She felt like Sylvie. She started to laugh a little before she sprung her legs around his waist and held him tightly, causing him to return her laugh and spin her around, burying his face in her neck.
“I have missed you climbing me like a tree.” He told her through his grin.
“I have missed every freaking thing about you.” She replied as she trailed kisses across his cheek to punctuate each word.
“I’m sorry I was being sketchy yesterday. I was packing up the house, getting everything in boxes to be shipped here, getting Ben away--” he explained, his tone suggesting that he felt terrible that he’d gone cold on her.
Sylvie frowned; “You packed up the house all by yourself? You should have called; I would have come help!” she exclaimed. She sincerely hoped he’d packed his boxes in a sensible and organised manner.
Matt shook his head, “I was just so desperate for the next time I see you to be in Chicago with the knowledge that I wasn’t leaving again. That this was it.” He explained. This was a hello that wouldn’t have a goodbye and boy did it feel good. “I know we have a lot to iron out, but I wanted to iron it out in person. Because there’s no more plans that need to be made over the phone.”
“And these plans… they’ll be permanent plans?”
“Hell yes.” Matt replied without skipping a beat.
Sylvie squealed slightly before she bent her head down and kissed him firmly. She kissed him like it was the last time. She kissed him with all the longing her heart held for the past three years. They did it, they survived. The rug was ripped from beneath them, but they didn’t falter. Sure, they had bad days, but ultimately their foundations were strong, and they could not be knocked down. They were now able to reap to rewards of remaining steadfast.
“Oh my god, Captain! Hey!”
They broke their kiss and turned to the double doors to see 51 standing at the glass watching them with smiles on their faces.
Everyone but Violet that was. She was scowling at Gallo for interrupting.
“God, Gallo. Can’t you see they’re having a moment?” she chastised with a deep eye roll.
“Oh man.” Gallo said as his face fell. “I’m sorry.” He mouthed through the glass.
Sylvie and Matt laughed, their temples against each other’s as Sylvie remained firmly wrapped around Matt.
“As much as I want to keep you all to myself tonight, there are other people here who have missed you terribly.” Sylvie said to him. She felt his smile against her cheek.
“I’ve missed them too. But I will only greet them if you promise to stay wrapped around me like this.” He joked as Sylvie let out a laugh.
“How about – I spend all day tomorrow wrapped around you?” she teased as she lifted her head to look at him, a teasing grin on her face.
Matt gulped. “Yes. Yes, ok. Deal.” He said quickly. He kissed her one more time before he put her back on her feet. “I have to speak to Boden anyway.”
“Oh yeah? What about?” she asked as he took her hand in his and kissed it as they started to walk towards the lounge doors.
“I’m not sure. He just said he wanted to meet.” Matt revealed, clearly thinking that it wasn’t anything too important he wanted to discuss.
The rest of 51 took their movements as a sign they could come out and greet their former captain and they met him on the apparatus floor before he had the chance to walk through the doors. The greetings were enthusiastic, loving and just what Sylvie and Matt needed to help them see and believe that he was home for good.
Sylvie could tell that Matt was eager to see one person in particular – Severide. She knew how much he missed his best friend. He missed living with him, he missed their cigar chats, he missed fighting fires with him. She watched as Severide shuffled out the doors and everyone moved out of his way. The lieutenant stood opposite his friend and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Hey” Matt simply greeted, slipping his own hands into his coat pockets.
“Hey” Severide replied. “I’m not jumping on you like Brett did.” He teased.
Matt chuckled before he lifted his hand out and held up two cigars, “How about this instead?”
Severide grinned, “Welcome home, brother.”
Matt understood how Sylvie felt when she questioned whether this was a dream. At the start of this, he’d been so adamant that three years would fly by, and ultimately, they had, but that didn’t mean there weren’t days where the distance felt eternal.
From the moment Ben graduated, he’d been itching to get home to her. He’d spent the past year clearing out the house, throwing away anything he didn’t need, collecting boxes to pack things up. He made sure the boys did the same – they seemed to be just as eager for him to get home to Chicago. They were so grateful for what Matt had done for them. For giving them a family. But they wanted him to go after what made him happiest now, and they knew that was Sylvie. They knew it was time for him to put himself first.
When Ben left for his trip, Matt immediately booked a van to move his stuff across states and a plane ticket for himself. The fact that he should have told Sylvie had barely crossed his mind, he was that eager to get home to her and hold her and celebrate her and make plans with her. Most of all, he was eager to love her in the way he’d been desperate to love her for the past three years – in person. In their home. No obstacles. Permanently.
After spending some time with 51 – including a cigar with Severide and a chat with Boden - Matt and Sylvie had stayed up all night in the lounge - talking, laughing, finishing off Sylvie’s celebratory cake. He could safely say that she was the only person he’d ever been willing to stay up all night for, for no particular reason.
Other than that he loved her with all his heart, and no time was enough time with her.
The day after, as promised, they spent all day in bed together with Sylvie wrapped around him – talking, napping, making love. As far as they were concerned, they were the only two people in the world right now and they would be living in this bubble for as long as the universe would allow them.
“Are you going to keep me in this bed forever?” Matt asked her that evening as she straddled his naked lap and trailed slow kisses down his jaw and neck.
Sylvie grinned against his skin, “Now that I’ve got you back in it? Never.”
Matt grinned before expertly rolling them over, taking his turn to trail lazy kisses down her neck and across her chest, her hands running smoothly through his hair. “Thank god I have all the time in the world now to do this.” He said against her skin. Over the past three years, there wasn’t a part of her body that hadn’t been loved by him and that was never going to change.
He lifted his head to look at her and saw that her eyes were closed, and she had the most satisfied, serene smile on her face. God, he loved her. If he could only keep one image of her in his head forever, it would be this one right here.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, wanting a caption to go with his image.
Sylvie smiled a little wider, her eyes remaining closed. “That when I open my eyes, I don’t have to worry about you being gone.”
Matt raised himself back up, his forearms resting on either side of her as he brushed a stray piece of hair off her cheek before leaning down and delicately kissing the spot it had just left. “Never.”
“What about you?” she asked as she opened her eyes and looked at him. “What’s on your mind, Captain? Or should I say Chief?”
It turned out that Boden’s conversation wasn’t just a welcome home chat. It was a ‘welcome home we want you back at 51’ chat.
“We have missed you around here Casey. We haven’t been the same without your leadership. This Battalion needs a chief. Specifically, it needs you to be chief. What do you say?”
Matt didn’t hesitate to say yes. It was a welcomed next step for him. He just needed to take the Battalion Chief examination and he was good to go.
“We’re both going to be white shirts now.” Matt reminded her. “You’ll definitely pull it off better than I will.”
“Absolutely not, those uniforms were designed by men for men, the trousers are so not flattering.” Sylvie said with a grimace. “But it’s a small price to pay to get to do what I love. You know, I kind of love the idea of taking command of a scene together.” She revealed.
Matt immediately loved the idea too. He could see them both pulling up in their buggies, him directing his firefighters, her directing her paramedics, working in perfect unison together like they did in everything in life. It was a seamless image, and he felt a swell of pride in his chest over it. A swell of pride that Ambulance Commander Brett; a compassionate, fearless, dedicated leader; was the woman he got to go home to every night. Was the woman he loved with every fibre of his being. Was the woman that loved him just as much back.
He didn’t realise that a few moments of him staring at her in a proud silence had passed before she called him out on it.
“You want to tell me what you’re thinking about now?” she asked as they rolled onto their sides and faced each other.
“It’s selfish.” Matt brushed off.
Sylvie ran her hand over his cheek; “You don’t have a selfish bone in your body Matt Casey.”
“No, it is selfish – but I’m not ashamed that it’s selfish.” Matt revealed. “I’ve spent my whole trying to do right by others. Trying to make them happy at the expense of my own happiness.” He began. It went all the way back to his childhood, something which Sylvie knew, and it bled into the most important relationships he’d had in his life. “But now – now I’m not putting my future on hold. I’m putting me first. I’m putting us first. I’m so grateful that this day is finally here, and I can start building a life with you.” He wasn’t used to talking like this. It wasn’t in his nature. But it was about damn time he went after what made him happy. He could care for others and not sacrifice his own care.
“You deserve to be selfish, Matt. You deserve to prioritise yourself. When have you ever been able to do that? It’s time that you built a home for yourself. One that will last for the rest of your life.” Sylvie encouraged him. It had been a long time since he’d truly had a home. Not one that he truly loved anyway. Not one that he could call his own. Not one that was a permanent beacon on peace and stability. Not one that would always have his love in it.
Matt wrapped his arm around Sylvie’s waist and pulled her closer towards him. “Want to be selfish with me?” he asked with a smirk.
“If building a life together is being selfish then I want to be the most selfish person on the planet.” She joked as they laughed. If this was what the rest of their days would be like, they were looking pretty damn good. “So – you’re back in Chicago, I have a new job, you have a new job – what’s next?”
Moving in together. Marriage. Babies. All of it.
Instead of saying what they both knew would come, Matt leaned forward and kissed her.
“Hmm… you’re right. This is definitely a good place to start.” She whispered against his lips before they lost themselves in each other once more.
Their future was bright and secure and they were ready to be selfish for their rest of their lives.