Work Text:
Hey,
It’s me, at every hour of the day.
Hey you.
You, who I think about when I wake up all the time to when you make it hard for me to fall asleep.
You, my friend, loverboy, my darling, my love,
If I can call you mine, I do not know.
I can call you all the names I want, you once said,
Although that was, to be precise, not directed at me.
Then again, how can the perception of words ever go clearly?
In my mind they seem made of frosted glass,
Go in dozens of unplanned directions like the branches of trees in spring,
None ever stopping to thrive.
Feelings move fast like my fingers when they type,
Most of the time I don’t know how.
Explain it to me?
I don’t know what love is yet, my love.
It is a risk saying this, though in my mind you are looking at the screen on which this weird little thing is written on,
With a smile you read this, and maybe with bits of embarrassment,
You know me else than my friends do.
Risks are shards of glasses we have picked up quite often now,
Picked up, but never cut.
Deeply carved my feelings for you their way into my skin,
A surface I often ache for you to hold,
Hands tender as gestures you think of for me.
Around my eyes, joyous wrinkles,
Around my toes, hard skin exhausted from running,
Never reaching you physically.
This thing, nevermind if it is the bond we have or this text I wrote in hope you will realize,
This thing, as I don’t know what to call it.
It is tiny, existing in this big world turning and turning without us feeling it,
Too fast to catch hold of,
A huge world that is separating us, my love.
Loneliness is too close to love,
The moon mirroring sunlight.
Only that it is the feeling of the two I can make more sense of,
Whatever eye that dries.
I don’t know what love is yet, my love.
Words I can give orders to could start great fires,
Though the air which I demand more of when you create your little wonders chokes them.
Hey, a message from you and all overthinking is forgotten in an instant.
Because you are there then,
The only way you and I can be at the moment.
You and I,
A phrase I like now that it is before me,
Written on the same screen on which I share my life with you.
A phrase which I made fun of when love was just something that apparently happened at an older age.
Far away from me, then.
It came faster than I thought,
Unmediated.
Hey, I think you’re cool,
The first sentence I ever shared with you.
I said it time and time again now, phrased to fit the way I got to know you better.
You shared your first heart then, even if that was of simple politeness,
Because of a sweet kindness I grew to learn you have so much of.
Should I have known the same symbols would have another meaning three hours ago, when we said goodnight, than they did just that month and a half ago?
<3, isn’t it warm, now?
A heart rises fast while the sand of time falls.
I don’t exactly know what love is yet, my love.
And I don’t expect to find a definition,
Not in all the time my small human life has.
But if I find one with you, that would be of no surprise and of no displeasure.
You are protecting me, in a way.
A way that’s strong enough for me,
2.242 kilometers through oxygen and nitrogen.
I love you so much.
And even though that’s a phrase as variable as all human experiences,
telling it to you makes me the happiest person on Earth.