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T’was the day of twelfth perigee, and all through the hive
A holiday party, had been going since five;
Mistletoe was hung from the ceiling with care,
In hopes that sparks soon would fly through the air;
You’d never been big on Christmas.
It was an overhyped holiday and people seemed to start up the repetitive music earlier every year. But the trolls were interested in learning your alien customs for it and so you’d agreed to pitch in and help along with a couple of the other humans. Anyway it wasn’t so bad to be around friends.
And as you clutched the badly wrapped box in your hands you felt butterflies flutter in your stomach. Not so bad to be around your crush either. It had been a while since you’d actually gone Christmas shopping for anybody. See previous distaste towards Christmas for reference. But this year you wanted to put some effort into it for the one person who seemed most interested of all in human culture. Maybe you’d even gather up enough courage to confess. Ha, yeah right.
“Hey doll.”
Oh speak of the devil. You glanced up at Cronus with an unamused stare. “I told you not to call me that,” you reminded him in a deadpan, “It’s girly.”
The corner of Cronus’ mouth quirked up in a half smile around his unlit cigarette. “But then that makes it gay, don’t it?”
You fight the urge to roll your eyes, “Cronus, you guys don’t even have a concept of gay.”
“But humans do, right?” Cronus countered, looking like he was genuinely taking notes in his head. “And that’s… bad?”
“Homophobia isn’t like, a crucial part of being human,” you almost laughed. He’s not the brightest, is he? Why do you put up with him again? “Remind me where you get your source on being human? Actually, never mind. Just, copy the good parts of humanity and ignore the bad. We’ll all be better off for it.”
“Got it, got it,” Cronus said sheepishly and leaned over to prop his head up on his hands, both elbows resting on the counter against which you had your back. “So as I was sayin’. How’s it going, stud?”
You cringed, “Well that’s gonna take getting used to but I suppose it’s better.” You looked down at the wrapping paper crinkling in your hands and shoved it behind your back before he could think to ask about it. “I’m doing alright. This party’s not really my thing but it could be worse, all things considered.” Cronus’ vacant, puppy-dog grin drew a slight smile from you and you leaned in towards him as well. “It’s nice to see everyone else having fun, you know? So I can’t help but drop the grinch act a little.”
Cronus scrunched his face up in concentration, “Grinch… that’s the green guy who doesn’t like twelfth- Christmas. Right?”
“You got it buddy,” you laughed. A gentle pause settled over the conversation and though it didn’t feel awkward per se, you couldn’t help but squirm. Cronus was just so damn close to you, his dumb unlit cigarette bobbing up and down as he toyed with it with his tongue. You could smell sea salt on him as he leaned in closer. See the violet creeping into his eyes as you both grew out of your teens. “Was there something you wanted?” you ask at last, just to say anything at all.
“Just to see what my favorite human was up to,” Cronus responded without missing a beat. His gaze flirtatious through lowered lashes. “And also I wanted to see how long it took for you to notice that.”
He pointed upwards and the blood drained from your face as your gaze followed his finger. Shit, this wasn’t part of the plan. “Mistletoe,” your laugh was strained even to your own ears. “Who told you about that?”
“Roxy,” Cronus reached out to grab your arm as he ran his free hand over his slicked-back hair. He probably thought he was being sexy. And damn him he was kind of right. “Why? Is that bad?”
Abort, abort. Your heart was pounding in your ears and you must have looked a blushing mess and this wasn’t. Part of. The plan! The plan which you definitely had. “Hey, hey, personal space dude,” you joked as you yanked your hand away from him to throw over your shoulder, rubbing at the back of your neck awkwardly. “You know what? You were actually right, this is too gay. I’ve gotta go… grab a drink?” And before he could say anything you slipped away to the kitchen, present in hand.
Idiot. Why had you done that? You shook your head, Cronus had always been forward but he did that with everybody. And you weren’t about to have your first kiss with him played off as a joke. He was such an idiot. Couldn’t he tell how much you actually liked him? Why couldn’t he take anything seriously for a second?
With a sigh, you grabbed a styrofoam cup of something and took a sip. Eggnog. It wasn’t bad actually. You wondered who made it. Probably Jane. You weren’t sure that any of the others had kitchen skills that exceeded eggs and toast. Some maybe not even that. You resumed your wandering around the house, stopping occasionally to be pulled into various conversations. It was nice of Rose to offer up her house for the party and you told her as much. You crashed in the living room for a while to watch about twenty minutes of the hallmark movie playing on the screen. You weren’t sure what was happening but it seemed sappy and vapid. But in a festive way. You tried to go into a bathroom but found Latula and Mituna making out against the counter so quickly turned tail and left.
None of it really registered, your mind drifting back to Cronus. It wasn’t the first time he’d tried to kiss you, but just like every other time it meant nothing. It was a joke. It was just for fun. It was Cronus being Cronus and damn him.
“Hey, stud.”
Dammit. “Hi Cronus, sorry for running out on you earlier,” you said awkwardly, tugging at your collar. “It was getting really hot, I wanted to go grab a drink.”
“You think you’d be used to it by now,” Cronus chuckled and flashed a smile that melted your heart. Showing so much teeth that you were surprised his cigarette hadn’t fallen out of his mouth already. “What with you being so smokin’ hot all the time.” The line was accompanied by a wink, the nerve of this man.
“Oh shut up,” you laughed but he didn’t let you say much else before he interrupted.
“No really, I mean it.”
You were blushing again, “Come on man,” you mumbled pathetically and stared out at the rest of the living room. Watching the people come and go.
“So what are you up to now?”
“People watching,” you said lamely.
“Ooh, fun.” Cronus leaned in close and lowered his voice conspiratorially, “Got your eye on any of the broads here?”
You burst out laughing at the idea. “Cronus,” you scoffed, “You know I don’t-”
“Like chicks? But earlier you said-”
“Yeah it was a bad joke okay? I’m an awkward person, sue me.”
Cronus threw an arm around you, making you jump, and trailed a finger up your arm. “Oh really? Does that mean I still have a chance then?”
“Cronus…”
“What? I’m serious,” Cronus reached across with his other hand to tilt your chin up so you looked him in the eye. “Do I have a chance or not, angel? Don’t leave me hanging.”
“I- angel?”
Cronus raised an eyebrow, “Are you changin’ the subject?”
“Of course not,” you lied, “What happened to ‘stud’?”
“Angel is more festive, ain’t it?” Cronus said with a cheeky grin. “I’ve got others if angel ain’t your thing. Sugarplum? Snowflake?”
You grimaced, “Nah, Snowflake’s been ruined by the internet unfortunately. A shame too cause it could have been cute.”
Cronus laughed, “Ah damn. Strike that last one then.” He reached up and plucked the cigarette from his lips. “Still though, you haven’t answered the question. If you’re not good with words, babe, I’ll accept kisses as payment.” He pointed to his lips and leaned in way too close again. His touch was cold against your burning skin as his hand trailed up to cradle the back of your neck and his forehead was practically touching yours.
“Sorry, I need to go get some air,” you gasp and slip away from him again to rush towards the back porch. Night had long since fallen and the air was frigid as it hit your face but at least it was the jolt you needed to yank yourself back to the presence. Grounding you in reality. You really needed to figure out something better before Cronus tracked you down again. Third time’s the charm right? So get your shit together.
The trick was getting the jump on him before he started his pickup artist routine. Cause once Cronus got started it was hard to get a word in edgewise. So if you could just manage to corner him for a change that might be enough to start your confession.
What to actually say to him though, once you’d managed to make him listen. That was the real problem. You had to make sure he understood how serious you were being, that was the main point. You had no doubt he’d jump at the chance for a date, that’s just the kind of person Cronus was. But you couldn’t handle the thought of Cronus dating you for the sake of having someone to date and nothing more. That would crush you without a doubt.
So what was the solution here?
You must have been out there, freezing your ass off and lost in thought for much longer than you realized because it was his voice again that made you jump. “Doin’ alright out here, stud? Dinner’s startin’ soon.”
“Cronus!” Well, there goes step one of your plan. Shit, looks like you’re screwed. “Sorry, I lost track of time. Let’s go.. back… inside?” You trailed off in confusion as you watched him reach up to pull his cigarette from his lips and remove a lollipop instead. “What? Where did you get that?”
“You left it behind on the couch when you ran away,” Cronus grinned, “I saw that they were addressed to me, hope you don’t mind that I opened ‘em. What are they anyway?” he twirled the candy between his fingers with a look of wonder in his eyes. “Some kinda candy right? We didn’t have these back on Beforus.”
You blinked, what was happening? All of your not-so-carefully crafted plans were crumbling around you. “They’re lollipops,” you said numbly. “And the other ones are, uhh, candy canes. Those are more festive.” You shook your head, trying to knock yourself out of your stupor. “Sorry, I meant to give them to you at the start of the party but then. Umm. I chickened out because I was worried you wouldn’t like them but I got them for you cause I thought hey you never light your cigarettes anyway so why not suck on something sweeter while keeping the aesthetic, ya know?” Oh crap you were rambling now. “Do you like them?”
“Are you kiddin’? I love them,” Cronus said, a look of sincere innocence on his face that was gone in a flash as that seductive twinkle in his eye returned. “But you know that all I really want for Christmas is you.”
You sighed, “Oh, good. Christmas song references. And to whom do I owe that pleasure?”
“One of the striders,” Cronus shrugged, “The one with rounded glasses.”
“Ah, Dave then probably.”
Cronus nodded, “Yes, exactly. He was serenading mini-Kanny.”
That got a laugh out of you, “Oh, poor Karkat. I bet he hated that”
“He seemed angry,” Cronus chuckled, “Though it’s hard to tell, he always looks like that.” The two of you shared a laugh before Cronus grew uncharacteristically quiet. “How come?” He said after a while, joining you in leaning out over the balcony.
You gave him a puzzled look, “How come what?”
“How come the festive flirtin’ doesn’t work?” Cronus leaned in close, always so close. “You’re not angry at me, are you?”
“What makes you think that?”
He frowned, “You’ve run away from me twice now, y/n. I maybe be dumb but I’m not an idiot. So how come you’re mad at me? What am I doing wrong?”
You blinked, he actually said your name. “I’m not mad,” you said carefully. “But I am… frustrated.” You could see a question forming on his lips and barreled ahead before he could speak. “Look, I don’t know if this is really going to make any sense to you. But I haven’t been avoiding you because I don’t like you. In fact if anything it’s kinda the opposite. I like you too much. I like you so much.” You grit your teeth, you’re saying too much but it was too late to stop it. Might as well just keep talking. “I know that none of your flirting means anything though, it’s just the kind of person you are and you’re like this with everyone. So it’s easier to just ignore it than to pretend I have a chance.”
As the barrage of words finally came to a stop, you let out a shaky breath and unclenched your fists. You hadn’t even noticed the death grip you had on the railing but your knuckles were starting to pale.
“You’re wrong.”
Your head snapped up to stare incredulously at Cronus. “That’s all you have to say?” you demanded, “After all that? I’m wrong? About what?”
He grimaced and looked away a little sheepishly, “About me not taking things seriously. Tell me, have you actually seen me flirt with anybody else at this party today?”
Instinctively you want to say yes, of course. He always does. But as you give it more than a second of thought, you realize he’s right. “No, I guess not.”
“I like you too,” he told you, “A lot. I mean it. But I didn’t know how to tell you so I just kept hopin’ that you’d pick up on it from my flirtin’. I didn’t even consider that you might assume I wasn’t bein’ sincere.” He sighed heavily, “I fucked this up real bad, didn’t I?”
You hesitate for just a second before reaching out to cover his hand with yours. “And you mean all that?” you ask without meeting his gaze. “You really like me? And just me?”
“Of course!” Cronus said instantly as he grabbed your hand and pulled you in to face him. There was a passionate look on his face as he spoke, “You’ve been an amazin’ friend to me. You never pushed me away or got bored of me like everybody else. Not to mention you’re really good lookin’ too. Anybody would be lucky to date a guy like you.” The energy seemed to rush out of him all at once as he deflated slightly with a pout. “I just never imagined that I’d be lucky.”
“Well maybe tonight you can be,” you said softly. And before you can talk yourself out of it, you lean in and kiss him.
He tasted sweet against your lips from the lollipop. And the moment when he began to kiss you back made all the previous turmoil worth it. Maybe Christmas wasn’t so bad after all.