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Buck’s sitting in the parking lot of the mall, hands tight around the steering wheel and fighting back a yawn as he turns off the Jeep. It’s less than three weeks before Christmas and he’s yet to get a majority of his Christmas shopping done. He’s got most of his gifts for Christopher, two more in the mail on their way, and the one he’s got for Eddie is still hidden deep in the glove box of the car. Outside of the Diazes, though, Buck’s got quite a bit of Christmas shopping left to do and he really isn’t looking forward to it as he looks around the over-crowded parking lot filled with screaming kids, arguing parents, and happy families. He’d woken up probably about an hour ago after pulling a near 36 hour shift after covering for someone on B shift and Buck really isn’t sure if he can handle the loudness of the mall weeks before Christmas. His phone blares to life from the seat next to him just as he goes to open the door and Buck grabs it without even glancing to see who it was.
“Go for Buck.” He grunts into the phone, reaching for his wallet as he shoves the phone between his shoulder and ear. He slides out of the Jeep, shoving his wallet into his pocket alongside his keys and slams the door to the Jeep. Immediately, the noise outside increases tenfold from the screaming of kids to the loud talking of families to the bells jingling in the wind.
“Buck.” Eddie’s voice sounds odd, like he’s choked and stuck in that perpetual state before he starts crying from frustration. Buck stops where he’s stood, half around the hood of the Jeep and ignores the blaring of the horn as someone speeds past him. He’s not even in the road but tempers always run a little too high during the holiday season so he rounds back to the door of the Jeep. He doesn’t bother climbing in, instead choosing to lean against it as he pulls the phone back to check the caller ID.
“Eddie, man, what’s going on?” Buck worries the inside of his lip after he speaks and digs into the wrong pocket for his keys. He barely holds back a curse and switches the phone to the other hand so he can grab his keys to unlock the Jeep as Eddie lets out a sound somewhere between a half sob and a frustrated scream. Buck can practically see him now, running a hand down his face as he paces in the kitchen or bracing himself on the countertop as he tries to stop himself from crying.
“I just, I don’t know what to do. Chris is having a meltdown and nothing I’m doing is stopping it. He was screaming and crying and I just, I feel like I’m going crazy.” Eddie murmurs into the phone, his voice soft but strained with exhaustion and Buck’s starting the car before he can even figure out what he may want to say.
“On my way, I’ll stop to grab some snacks. Need anything?” Buck promises and listens as Eddie lets out a sigh, undoubtedly his eyes falling shut in relief as he goes to lean on the counter.
“Could you get that pillow Chris likes? The one where he can sit up in? And maybe that heated blanket thing?” Eddie murmurs softly and Buck can hear shuffling, probably him making his way back down the hall towards Chris’ room as Buck agrees. He hangs up before they can say goodbye, the promise of being there soon the last words exchanged before Buck is sliding into reverse.
***
“Heard you weren’t feeling so good superman?” Buck whispers as he gently knocks on the open door of Christopher’s room, leaning against the frame of the door as Chris turns his tear-filled eyes towards him. Eddie’s sitting on the side of the bed furthest from the door, hands moving soothingly up and down Chris’ calves as he tries to work out the tense muscles.
“It hurts Bucky.” Chris whimpers, tears spilling over as Buck crosses the room to kneel beside him, running what he hopes is a soothing hand through Christopher’s messy curls. His glasses are sat on the bedside table, next to a half-filled bottle of water and a pill bottle that’s cap has been screwed on the wrong way like Eddie was in a hurry to close it. He probably was.
“Oh buddy, I know.” Buck murmurs, glancing up at Eddie even as he keeps a steady hand running through Christopher’s curls and nods sympathetically when Eddie mouths PT back at him. Chris’ physical therapy had been going through quite a few changes as he grows, longer and more frequent appointments that usually left him grumpy and tired. The uncharacteristic cold hadn’t been helping either, making Christopher stiff and sore even without the tougher stretches that he’d been having to take part in. Today, apparently, had been the final straw and Christopher had a full breakdown in the car back from the appointment. Eddie had tried to soothe him, was still trying, but apparently Chris had just kept asking for Buck. Normally, when Chris and Eddie weren’t hurting so much, he’d find it endearing and make him feel some type of way.
“I think I might have an idea on how to make you feel better. How about you let your dad help you change into something more comfortable,” Buck takes a moment to gently tug at the shirt Chris is wearing with a scrunched nose to show his exaggerated disgust, “and I’ll set up the living room. You too Eds, put on something comfortable, and don’t come out until I tell you you can.” He levels a finger at Eddie, smirking when Eddie pulls a face back at him. Chris has managed to crack a small smile, though it’s still clear how poorly he’s feeling, and Buck is careful to not jostle him too much when he goes to stand. Chris whines, making grabby hands at Buck and he lets the younger boy latch onto his arm.
“Oh Chris, I’ll be quick okay? I promise. Your dad and Mr. Nemo here can keep you company while I go grab some comfy clothes for your dad and I.” Buck leans behind him, grabbing ahold of the stuffed clownfish that they’d found at the aquarium two weeks after the Tsunami and sets it right on top of Chris’ chest. The boy lets go of Buck’s arm, wrapping his hand around the stuffed animal instead and reaches with his other hand for Eddie’s. Eddie smiles up at him, tense but thankful at the same time and Buck reaches over to squeeze his shoulder once, twice.
“I’m sorry.” Eddie whispers when he returns, face twisted as he reaches for the sweatpants that Buck had brought back, “I just...I didn’t know what to do and he wouldn’t stop crying. I just hate it when he’s hurting.” Eddie sighs, turning to glance at where Chris has curled up in a ball on the bed away from where the two of them are standing in the doorway.
“Hey, I told you Eds, I’ve got your back. Always. I’m gonna start a fire, set up a pillow fort, and we can spend the day playing video games. I brought that chair pillow he likes from my place.” Buck squeezes Eddie’s neck, tapping twice against the back when he doesn’t remove his hands right away, “You’re a good father Eddie, remember that.” Buck pretends he doesn’t see the way that Eddie’s eyes well up with tears or the way that they lean against each other for a moment longer than they should. They’ve been on this line for so long, so close to crossing it into territory that both want but neither can bring themselves to cross it.
“Thank you Buck.”
***
He’s got a fire going pretty fast, the beauty of starter logs that Buck had started using back in Wyoming and he’d made sure to keep buying them for winter despite him not having a proper fireplace. At least now, Eddie got use out of them and Chris loved watching the flames dance through the grate they always made sure to shut. If there was a strategically placed fire extinguisher within arms length whenever they lit a fire, that was for them to know.
“Hey bud, you ready to see the living room?” Buck asks, rounding back into Chris’ room and smiles at the young boy who is now clad in firetruck patterned pajamas. Chris nods eagerly, a tight smile still covering his face as he cradles Mr. Nemo close to his chest and when Buck meets Eddie’s eyes, he can still see the stress and anxiety.
“Okay buddy, let’s go!” Buck smiles, carefully scooping Chris up into his arms and twirls him around to the delight of the younger boy. Eddie’s hand is resting carefully in the air behind Buck, to catch one of them if they should fall and it’s such a domestic feeling that Buck has to tuck his face into Chris’ curls to hide the smile blooming across his face. After a moment of composing himself, sends a smile over Chris’ head to Eddie, and then leads the way into the living room. Chris lets out a sound somewhere between a scream and a laugh as he takes in the room with blankets all over the walls and fire burning bright. The television’s been moved to the floor on a box and the console is set to the side of it, a stack of games sat near where Buck’s propped up the chair pillow against the couch for Chris.
“What do you think? Spend the day beating your Buck at video games?” Eddie asks, coming to stand on the side of Buck as he brushes some hair from Christopher’s face. Chris smiles, nodding his head, and Buck is quick to set the kid down so he can look through the games sat near him. Eddie and Buck hover, swaying into each other as they watch Christopher sort through the stack to find which ones he wants to play first. Eddie bumps their shoulders together and Buck turns to look at him, a shy smile on his face.
“Go change Buck.” Eddie smiles, gently nudging Buck until he relents from his spot watching Chris and disappears down the hall. He’s warm and safe and everything is so amazing that Buck never wants it to change.
***
Later that night, after Chris has fallen asleep to a Disney movie that Buck normally would be paying attention to but he’d been unable to pull his eyes off of where Eddie was sitting. Eddie had an arm around the back of the couch, wrapped around Chris’ back and resting on Buck’s shoulder and just the simple touch was enough to make it feel like Buck was on fire. The orange light from the flames in the fireplace dance across his face, casting perfect shadows across his face and Buck can’t help but let his eyes trail over to him every few seconds.
“Hey.” Buck murmurs, leaning his head back against Eddie’s hand until he moves it to squeeze at Buck’s neck. He closes his eyes, enjoying the gentle pressure as Eddie starts to run his thumb in calm circles over his neck.
“Hey.” Eddie responds softly, turning his head over to lean against his own shoulder so that the two of them are looking at one another in the firelight. The fire has started to die down, flickering slightly as the wind starts to pick up from the chimney and casts a dim light into the half-falling apart tent that Buck had constructed. Buck’s hand rests against Chris’ head, scratching a soothing motion into his hair as he listens to the boy’s gentle and even breathing.
“I-I cannot thank you enough man.” Eddie whispers after a moment, after too long of silence where Buck’s pretty sure that he’s going to end up falling asleep, “I really can’t. I know that it’s your only day off this week.” Eddie squeezes gently at his neck again, still looking at Buck with a soft smile and Buck’s pretty sure that just that look is enough to have him falling further in love with him.
“It was fun. You know I love hanging out with you guys.” Buck murmurs softly, tilting his head back further into Eddie’s hand and sighs contentedly when the hand moves from his neck to his hair. It twists in the curls, rubbing soothingly until Buck lets his eyes fall shut.
“Still, thank you Buck. Really, thank you.” Eddie insists, gently tugging at his hair until Buck turns to glance at him with a tired smile and Eddie swallows forcibly, pretending that his heart didn’t just skip one too many beats at the sleep-soft look of his best friend, “Go to sleep, I’ll put out the fire.” Eddie promises and Buck nods, still pressing against his hand until his eyes fall shut. He’s gone to the world seconds later, soothed by the comforting pressure that Eddie’s been keeping up. Eddie watches as the fire burns out, leaving nothing but ash and darkness in its wake and leans his head back against the couch until he too falls asleep.