Work Text:
Han had been collecting Alderaanian memorabilia for longer than they’d even been married. It was probably almost as long as he’d known Leia. It was only a few months after Yavin when, on some solo Rebellion mission with only Chewie for company, he’d stumbled across some kind of ornament in a market whilst they were bartering for supplies. It was a rose gold metal twisted in some shape Han didn’t recognize, but he knew the metal was from Alderaan.
“Alderaan gold,” the merchant had said, his eyes lighting up in the anticipation of an incoming fortune. “Incredibly valuable now, of course.”
He’d blown a good chunk of his reward money on that ornament.
[That’s a lot of effort you went to for the Little Princess]
“What do you mean? It’s no effort. Look, it’ll shut her up for a few moments, that’s all."
It was worth it, for the look in Leia’s eyes when he handed it to her later.
“Where did you… oh Han,” she said, her eyes going so round and sad Han cringed immediately at how clumsy he’d been, dragging up all her pain about losing her home once again. But then she looked up at him, in that way she did when all that inexplicable tension between them fell away for a moment and she was so full of hope, as if she could see something in him he didn’t quite believe himself existed.
“You’re welcome, princess.”
The ornament sat, amongst a plethora of other Alderaanian decorations, on their dresser in their Coruscant home’s bedroom. The rest of the home, as well as their apartment on Hosnian Prime, was decorated with everything from Alderaanian plants, to fur rugs which its mountain residents had used to keep warm in the winter, to glass clocks passed down from generation to generation. Most valuable of all were a few of the works of art Alderaan was so famous for.
“Honestly, it’s more Alderaan in here than the palace ever was,” Leia had commented once after Han acquired, against all odds, a formal portrait of her parents just after they were married. But she had leant into his side, gripping him tightly as she wiped furtively at her eyes.
A few things, though, Han now kept on the Falcon. Their lives were naturally spread out between the ship, their permanent home and the apartment they kept on Hosnian Prime whilst it served as the Galactic capital. But then, just recently, Leia had turned to Han in the middle of the night, suddenly full of worry, and asked him to move their most precious keepsakes to his ship.
“Sure sweetheart,” he’d agreed, but frowning at the worried, distant look in her eyes. He knew that look. It was her Force Look. “You planning on taking them somewhere?”
“This apartment won’t be here forever,” she said enigmatically. “None of it will.” She took a deep breath, then said to him with wide, desperate eyes, “I just want to keep what we can.”
“Is everything okay?” he asked, trying not to worry at the eerie sense of foreboding in her voice.
“I don’t know,” Leia said, looking scared herself. “Maybe I should ask Luke.”
“Why don’t we go visit him and Ben this weekend?” Han asked, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. “We’ve got the time.”
“Yeah,” Leia nodded, curling up into Han.
*
The only thing worse than losing the Falcon was breaking the news to Leia.
“I’ll get it back, I promise,” he told her, sincerely and desperately. “I’m so sorry, Leia.”
“Han,” she said softly. “It’s your ship. Why are you apologising to me?”
He gave her a heartbroken look, and then realisation dawned. She closed her eyes for a moment, pressing her fingers to her forehead. Han felt like he’d been punched in the gut.
“Sweetheart, I’ll get it back,” he told her, his voice cracking a little. She looked up at that.
“It’s not your fault,” she said. It somehow hurt even more that she was trying to reassure him. But Leia was an old pro at losing pieces of home. “It was just bad luck. You’ll get it back,” she told him, stroking his cheek tenderly.
*
They were on their way to Takodana. Han had left Chewie in charge for a moment whilst it seemed they weren’t under imminent attack from gangs, the First Order, or whatever else Force-forsaken thing the galaxy wanted to throw at them, and was doing some a quick round of his beloved ship. There were countless things that needed fixing, which he added to a mental list as he went.
Han reached his cabin, and paused, his heart twinging. Not his cabin. Their cabin.
He wasn’t sure what he wanted to find inside. The remains of a life, perfectly preserved, that didn’t exist anymore? The belongings of a wife he ached for every moment of the day, who he’d been too heartbroken to face for nearly two years? Or the past erased, carelessly by the hands of a stranger, so he didn’t have to once again face what he’d lost?
The door slid open with a sound almost as familiar as his own footsteps. How many times had he looked up at that sound to see Leia in the doorway? How many times had they retreated here together after a difficult mission, after a trip with Ben, after a vacation across the galaxy where they could forget the Dark Side existed?
The lights flickered on automatically, although somewhat brighter than he remembered. Leia had asked him to install softer lighting some time – wow, some time after Endor. The brightness had given her a headache, and it was one of the first things Han had done after they were married. He instinctively made a note to fix it, then remembered she wasn’t here to care.
Their cabin was as ramshackled as the rest of the Falcon. The bedding was gone, his storage was empty; almost every artefact that could have been looted and sold had been. The room was a little littered with evidence of those who’d been here since his ship had been stolen. But mostly, it was just stale and cold, covered in a light sheen of dust.
His heart plummeted, and he realised in that moment exactly what it was he had wanted.
The grating under the false extension to their bed still came loose, albeit with a little more persuasion than the last time he was here. He pulled back the panel, then rummaged down in the darkness underneath. His hand hit the unmistakably solid feel of a wooden chest, and his heart jumped. Could he really be so lucky?
He groped around for the handle, then with a bit manoeuvring tugged it out. It was dustier than even the rest of the room, and he coughed a little, swiping it away. He undid the lock, then creaked open the lid. There, lying carefully wrapped, were Leia’s treasures.
Han smiled to himself. Here was a birthday present he’d got her for her 40th; a toy she’d gifted to Ben; the fateful box from Bail she’d regained only a few years ago; and that little ornament, its Alderaan gold now faded, but lying somehow undamaged in the centre of the chest.
Han ran his fingers over it, and for a brief moment, allowed himself to hope.
*
The chaos in the Falcon died down a few hours into their flight. Adrenaline from the escape had finally run out, and most of the Resistance members cramped into the ship had collapsed in the spare cabins. Chewie had gracefully given up his cabin to Rey, Poe and Finn, but Han had drawn the line at the captain’s cabin. He couldn’t give a jot about himself – he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to sleep again, and if he did, the cockpit would do just fine. But Leia was still stricken with headaches from when she had been thrown into space and somehow pulled herself back from the brink. So, he’d insisted, against Leia’s express wishes, that their cabin be kept free for her to rest.
Of course, being Leia, she wasn’t actually in there resting. She was in the lounge, scrolling through datapads, with a cup of steaming tea to help her think.
(He hadn’t missed the look on her face when she realised he favourite tea was still here.)
She looked up when he walked in, and smiled softly. He couldn’t help the soaring of his heart, seeing her look at him like that again. Gone was the animosity disguising pain that had met him on Takodana, lost somewhere in the moments after Han was nearly killed by their own son, and saved only by the Force and his powerful, devoted wife.
He wasn’t sure where they were, exactly; only that he’d spent nearly every moment since then by her side, allowing Rey and Chewie to take off with the Falcon whilst he accompanied her with the Resistance – and thank the Force he had, when it was then her turn for a terrifying brush with death.
“I think I’ve got some more leads of people we can reach out to,” she said, as Han came to sit down next to her. “I have some plans for Black Squadron, when Poe can locate the rest of them.”
“You know where we’re heading to, yet?” he asked.
“I’ve got no idea,” Leia admitted, sounding exhausted. She sunk a little into him. “Every time I think about a new base, I think about the twenty thousand things we need to do before that. And then I think about all the people we’ve lost. And then I just spiral…”
“Hey,” said Han, resting a hand on her leg. She looked up at him, as if somehow maybe he had the answers she was searching for. She’d done that so many times since he’d met her, and he’d wished desperately every single time that he did.
“We’re safe for now. This can wait ‘til morning,” he told her.
“Han, I can’t sleep,” she said, shaking her head.
“I’ve got something to show you,” he said. Her eyes sparked a little with interest at the tone in his voice.
“Come on,” Han said, tugging her hand with his own. They got up from the dejarik table, and he led her back to their cabin. It was tidy and clean now, God bless Chewie, with new blankets and sheets on the bed, and there, in the corner of the room, their wooden chest.
Leia’s hand flew up to her mouth the moment she saw it.
“Han,” she gasped. “Is that?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, watching her with his heart in his mouth. “It’s all still there.”
“It is?” she asked, looking up at him with disbelief. He nodded again, silently this time. Leia walked over, then kneeled down before the chest reverently. Carefully, as if afraid she might scare away reality, she peeled open the lid.
“Oh my god,” she whispered. “Han, I can’t believe…”
Han knelt down next to her, ignoring the protest of his knees.
“Yeah, me neither.” He squeezed her shoulder.
“Han, look,” she said, pulling out that precious ornament. Han bit his lip, feeling his emotions starting to spill over. Leia looked up at him, saw his expression, and her own control started to falter. She shook her head, burying herself in his chest as Han wrapped his arms around her.
*
“I don’t know, it feels like it belongs here now,” Leia said, standing in their cabin on the Falcon as she angsted over the wooden chest.
“Don’t you wanna look at the stuff in your own home?” Han asked her.
“Is it home, really?” Leia said. She wasn’t being difficult, or nihilistic. It was simply the emotional exhaustion of someone who had watched every place she’d ever called home be destroyed by war.
“You gonna say something cute like ‘home is wherever I’m with you’,” Han teased, trying to lighten the moment. Leia shot him a look, rolling her eyes.
“That might be true, but that doesn’t mean it’s the safest place for my stuff,” Leia said pointedly.
“Hey, I found it again, didn’t I?!” Han countered. “Everything in it, no harm done.”
“So we’ll keep it on the Falcon, then?” Leia said.
“Well, I dunno. I feel like I’m one trip away from losing her to Rey.”
Leia chuckled. “Yes, that’s true. You better hope Luke keeps her busy.”
“I think we should keep it with us,” Han said softly, looping an arm gently round her waist. “I don’t wanna lose it again.”
“And you think the new place in Coruscant will be safe?” Leia asked dryly.
“I should hope so, sweetheart, the price we’re paying for it,” Han scoffed.
“Han – ”
“It ain’t gonna be safer here than there,” Han told her. “Doesn’t matter where we hide, you know that. But if it makes you feel better… I’ll tuck it back in the storage in our cabin.”
“It would make me feel better,” Leia told him.
“Okay,” said Han, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Except for one thing,” Leia added. She bent down, rummaged around in the chest for a moment, then pulled out the rose golden ornament Han had gifted her nearly forty years ago.
“This, I want to keep with me.”
Han smiled a little tremulously down at her, feeling suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. She looked up at him with those big, dark, loving eyes, and reached for his hand.
“You know this was when I realised that I liked you,” she told him.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she said, with a slightly coy smile. “It was so sweet, I couldn’t believe it. So I thought you might be worth keeping around.”
“Forty years later, you still can’t get rid of me,” Han said, moving to wrap his arms round her.
Leia leaned up, pressing a tender kiss against his lips.
“Thank goodness.”