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There is such loneliness in this world that you can see it in the rain that runs down the windows of your house. It beats upon the glass in desperation to be let in, the squashed and depleted drops that remind you of tears once shed.
Harry had been there once. He would often stare from the window's of the few places he had resided, tracing the sky's tears with his finger. The Dursley's, at Hogwarts, his holidays at the Burrow and now from the tidy 3 bedroom house in Godric's Hollow he called his own.
It was different now of course. In all the other places, he knew the isolation deeply. He craved a family and felt the same loneliness he was sure the sky did. So close to being part of something only gazed at from a distance, but not quite.
Now when he stole a moment to watch the drops on the window, he would feel the warmth of arms around him from the person who knew how he felt and what he was thinking.
Thanks to Pansy Parkinson, Harry could now appreciate that perhaps the rain wasn't lonely, but dancing instead. Rippling through the sky with its loved ones and happy to hit the ground as long as they did it together.
That's how they stood now, Pansy clutching Harry around his waist and watching the rain with him over his shoulder.
"This lot should clear up by mid-morning, then the snow is meant to start again." She mumbled as she stroked his side gently.
Harry nodded, leaning back into her as a chorus of butterflies paraded around his stomach at the mention of the coming day. "Has Luna told you what you'll get up to on your day out?" He questioned breezily.
"When does Luna tell anyone anything they actually want to know?" Pansy said, but Harry could hear the affectionate smile in her voice. "Probably needs help finding a normal Christmas present for you and your friends. She could tell that the Nargle repelling jewellery wasn't a hit last year."
Of all his friends, Luna was one of the only ones to accept and appreciate the companionship he had found with Pansy. Ron was wary, even 4 years later. Hermione had hardly forgiven him, seeing as how Pansy and her group of Slytherins had mercilessly teased and bullied her throughout their schooling. Hermione was civil, especially after Pansy openly apologised to her and their entire group of friends for just who she was in school.
Harry was sure Hermione would come round eventually when she finally saw just how perfect they were and how much she had changed. But right now, forgiveness was something Harry couldn't ask of his friend. He knew Hermione still wielded internal scars from the cruel words and actions, despite how the war changed everyone, especially Pansy.
Pansy's mother had perished in the Battle of Hogwarts and her father had been imprisoned for 2 years after it, until the Dementors kiss had been administered. But she had distanced herself from the family's beliefs and reputation almost immediately after Voldemort was killed.
That's how Harry had found her, at a soup kitchen for poor Witches and Wizards, most of whom were displaced or crippled by the war. Arthur Weasley had encouraged him to attend during the dinner rush, as Harry was still seen as a beacon of hope and a hero of the war even after it had been 2 years since the war had ended at the time.
And there she had been, her dark hair pulled back into a braid, a hairnet haphazard on top of her head and a dirty apron wrapping her body. Harry had to do a double take to really believe it was her, never in his life did he think he would see the Slytherin Princess, the girl forever on her high horse - in a soup kitchen.
Little did his Slytherin Princess know, that's where tomorrow would begin. Luna was in on the whole thing. She would help Pansy to the locations, guided by clues that would eventually lead her to him.
That night, the couple lay in bed together, Pansy's head resting on his chest while she fell asleep. Harry was too stressed to sleep, he ran through the next day in his head for the thousandth time. It had to be perfect. He needed it to be perfect.
XXXX
As predicted, the rain had stopped by 9am the next day and soon after, the snow had begun again, coating everything in a soft white sheet. Harry trudged through it, his robes wrapped tightly around him and his eyebrows creased against the cold biting at his face.
Right around now, Luna would be showing Pansy into the old soup kitchen which had now been turned into a small, family owned cafe. Harry smiled at the image of his girlfriends face as Luna airily refused to get coffee and instead passed her the note he had written.
The first time you agreed to a real date with me while we served soup, was when the clouds began to part and the sunshine peeked through again.
Harry knew she would understand straight away. He had dwelled for hours on where to take Pansy the first time she had agreed to a real date with him. It had to be better than the after-shift drinks they had enjoyed together in seedy bars, better than the burger and chips they had scoffed down in a corner deli after a long night serving soup.
Finally he had settled on a fancy restaurant in the heart of London called Nuage Ensoleillé which translated to something like 'Sunny Cloud'. Harry hadn't known that, but Pansy was fluent in French and was delighted at the way the words leant to the theme of the restaurant. It was dark and moody inside with stunning accents of gold that glowed like the sun under the flickering candles.
He hadn't realised just how fancy the place would be, but he was not embarrassed. At this stage, he and Pansy had been spending so much time together and he had learnt so much about her and her story, that he wanted it to be nice, so she knew that despite her upbringing, she was worth everything he could give her. He needed to make sure she knew exactly how he felt. Harry only had to take one look at at her face burning in the mild light to know it had translated perfectly.
That night, they had shared their first kiss. A gentle and longing motion that sparked the future inside them. Harry was sure everyone on the earth had felt the ground shift along with him.
~
Harry walked on, nodding to people as he passed in greeting, hurrying to the place that would be Pansy's final stop. By now, Pansy and Luna would have arrived at the French restaurant and have received the next clue. Harry knew she would be impatient already, probably shooting playful, empty threats in Luna's direction as she got into the puzzle.
The first night we spent together may not have had rose petals and champagne, but it was anticipation such as I'd never felt before. From that night I knew I was smitten by you.
Ron had been living with Harry at this stage of their relationship. He wasn't particularly fond of Pansy, even less so back then. Ron thought Harry was mad for wanting her, he refused to see that she wasn't the same person from Hogwarts. He never complained when she was around, but he never quite went out of his way to be supportive either, still fiercely protective of his now girlfriend - Hermione and her feelings.
Pansy and Harry had talked about taking it to the next level, the sexual tension and waiting almost drove them insane. But Harry had Ron at home and Pansy lived with Millicent Bullstrode in a tiny two bedroom flat in Diagon Alley, of whom both were trying to maintain a distance between their old family money and deciding to make it on their own. Neither Harry nor Pansy wanted to have their first night together be marred by their roommates' presence.
They had shared the cost of a nice hotel room and the door of the room had hardly shut behind them before they were all over each other like their skin had become magnetised. They fit together like a hand in a perfectly sized glove. It felt true and right, like they should have been doing this forever. The electricity surrounding them that entire night and into the morning had been like nothing Harry had ever known in his very short list of experiences with women. It was the best night of his life... so far.
-
The snow kept falling as Harry walked, smiling and wishing he could witness Pansy's thinly veiled fury but wild eyed excitement on the scavenger hunt. He wondered if she realised what the grand finale would be.
Your touch is the ultimate escape, your eyes like the dark sky over the ocean. What I wouldn't give to go back to the place I got to see that reflected in the landscape for the first time.
Luna would be handing her the carefully wrapped Christmas ornament turned into a portkey. The two of them would be tugged away and placed down on a deserted beach, a stones throw from a cute rustic cottage where Harry took her on their first romantic getaway.
They had spent three days just wrapped in one another. Strolls along the beach, warm afternoons listening to the water, eating strawberries and sipping chilled wine on the sand as they watched the sun melt behind the waves and the sky erupt with scattered stars.
One of Harry's favourite things about the trip was watching the stars reflect in Pansy's wide, dark eyes as she drank in the view. It had been one of the first times she had looked truely unburdened, away from everything that reminded her of the wizarding world and the shambles it had left of her life.
-
The hill Harry now climbed was steep and his legs burned with the effort, occasionally slipping with the snow under his feet. He hardly noticed though, his mind was all consumed by the love for the girl he was currently leading on a wild goose chase. She would be growing irritated now, her hands would be being thrown up in the air and twisting at her hair like they do when her patience is wearing thin. Harry grinned into his scarf at the image.
A new chapter, a fresh beginning. The boxes you filled and then emptied into my home that is now our home, was the ultimate joy. A sunset that turned to sunrise.
The portkey would now be taking them back to the house Luna had only just collected Pansy from mere hours ago. Her frustration Harry could almost feel in his own bones as she would be fighting to understand the confusing events. She would have an idea, but the constant disappointment and lack of love in her life until Harry entered it would be stopping her from being too hopeful.
Her and Luna would be standing at the front door of the cozy two story, brick building they called their home. Vines were beginning to edge up the side, through the thick shrubs and flowers that Pansy had developed a green thumb for.
It was one of Harry's favourite pastimes to watch her work from his chair on the front porch of their home. She would have her gloves on, her knees dirty from the soil she turned and dug in. She hums and makes sure her tongue sticks out at just the right angle to make sure she prunes the plant right where she needs it.
Pansy never used magic for her garden. She liked to appreciate the delicate precision of gardening, she needed to master it. To know she could nurse something and love it, from the first time it sees the sky, until it's fully grown. Every drop of water she sprayed from her rusted watering-can was like a kiss or a hug she wished she had received from the people that bought her into the world.
After a long day gardening, she would rinse off in the shower and recline on the comfortable couches she and Harry had chosen together, amongst the beautiful, warm, welcoming decor and comforts of a home that housed a loving couple.
-
A new place to add to our special ones, where the vibrance under the hill will meet through our hands and make us one.
Luna would be handing over the last note any minute now and Harry stood stock still, listening hard so to hear over his own breathing. It was snowing but he felt flushed with heat, the emotion that took hold of his body made him stand in place.
The hill he stood upon was one they could see from their second-floor bedroom window. It was scattered with earthy, green trees and a powdering of snow now. In spring time it was a haven for wildflowers and every time he had looked upon it in the last 4 years, he had imagined how it would feel to have Pansy in front of him and his one knee planted firmly on the soil beneath them as he looked into her endless eyes.
A noise came from the side of him and he turned to look at a starry eyed, smiling Luna and a tearful Pansy who seemed unable to move from the place she had appeared.
Harry grinned widely at her, just as he had done every day she was in front of him. He outstretched a hand and coaxed her toward him, which she willingly did. A sob broke free from her throat while she looked around.
"I look at this hill all the time from our bedroom window." She sniffled. "It's beautiful in springtime."
"But even more beautiful at Christmas time when the snow covers the top." Harry smiled as she nodded in agreement. "Did you enjoy your trip down memory lane?"
Pansy choked out a laugh and slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "I've never done anything more pointless in my life!" She smiled gently at him. "But I loved it. It's so easy to forget memories that mean so much."
"And what do you think of this spot? We've not actually been up here together yet." Harry asked, gesturing out at the view.
Pansy turned to take in the sight of the villages and trees below them, all coated in a white layer of snow. Harry used this chance to place a knee on the ground and pulled out a small velvet box.
He took a steadying breath and looked up at her, catching one of her hands in his own and turning her attention back to him before she could answer his question.
Pansy stared down at him with surprise. Of course, she was a bright witch. She would have known in the back of her mind that this was coming, after the day she had of Luna bringing her around to all the most notable spots of their relationship. But nothing could really prepare you for the moment it actually happened.
"Pansy Parkinson, 4 years ago we ran into each other. We knew one another before, but our souls had changed, we weren't who we used to know. Never did I think that I would fall head over heels for a Slytherin-" Pansy scoffed through her now free flowing tears. "-but you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. There's not a single thing in my life that I would want to experience without you. Because of you, I've learned to view everything differently. The rain drops aren't lonely now, they are dancing." Harry's eyes misted over and his voice quivered gently. "I look at you and I see my whole future in front of me. I couldn't imagine my life without you."
Harry paused and flicked the velvet box open feeling a sense of pride as Pansy's eyes widened and a gasp fell from her mouth as she saw the ring.
"Will you be mine forever? Will you marry me, Pansy?" His hands shook under the weight of the words he just spoke, holding the ring out to her. He suddenly felt very vulnerable as he looked hopefully up at her, the wait for her response feeling like years.
"You're an idiot!" Pansy sobbed, wrenching Harry from the ground. "Of course I will!" She threw her arms around his shoulders as Harry clutched her with surprise.
"That's a yes?" Harry said as he peeled her off his chest.
"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" She cried.
Harry laughed and the pair of them looked up at a bouncing Luna, who they had forgotten was even there as she applauded them with glee.
He again offered Pansy the ring, this time taking it from the box and gently holding her left hand. A fresh batch of tears welled in her eyes as she allowed Harry to slip on the huge oval diamond, fitted atop a thin gold band dotted with smaller diamonds.
It was so intricate and beautiful, yet so simple,
as is their love.