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"A broad and ample road, whose dust is gold,
And pavement stars—as starts to thee appear
Soon in the galaxy, that milky way
Which mightly as a circling zone thou seest
Powder'd with stars."
“Paradise Lost”, John Milton
Hajime first began noticing that something was wrong with Tooru after their team lost to Karasuno at the Spring High Interhigh Qualifiers in October.
Obviously, he understood the initial break from his usual personality; everyone else on Aoba Johsai felt the same way. They all had expected that they’d move on, play against Shiratorizawa, beat them once and for all, and then move onto Nationals. None of them even thought to view Karasuno as a team that would prevent them from doing so. None of them had been prepared for them to hold such a fight.
And that was what had been their downfall.
So, Hajime hadn’t felt too alarmed when his boyfriend started keeping everything bottled inside. He felt like once the setter had processed everything, finished putting it all in its place then he’d go to his ace to talk about it because that’s what they did. When Tooru was upset, Hajime waited until he came to him, and they’d communicate what was wrong and then it’d all be fine. That’s how it had gone for as long as the two of them had been friends.
So it was a little surprising when he didn’t come to Hajime.
Tooru was able to consistently bounce back after challenges that knocked him down, no matter what it was. It never took more than a couple of days, some really hard times maybe lasting a week, but nothing more. That part of him was something people admired in him—being able to shake things off and move on.
Yet with the loss at the Interhigh Qualifiers, Hajime wasn’t too surprised to see that Tooru was struggling a little more than usual.
Their final chance to bring Ushiwaka to his knees was taken from them; it was their last year and as much as they wished, they wouldn’t be coming back after they graduated in March. Sure, with Tooru playing volleyball after high school—Ushijima certainly continuing his career with volleyball as well—the possibility of them playing on the big stage was high. But still, it would be different. Hajime wouldn’t be by his side as his ace at that point anymore.
The moping continued for two weeks, and Hajime slowly became more and more concerned as time went by.
It was a well-known fact that Tooru liked to flair dramatics with literally anything and everything he did, but he wouldn’t joke for this long. He was too quiet and distant for it to be him pouting for extra attention.
At one point during those two weeks, the wing spiker tried talking to his boyfriend about it, but the setter only had said his moodiness wasn’t because of them losing. He was just…tired…and anxious about graduating. Paired with the purple bags around his eyes, and the hours spent practicing in the gym, the excuse made sense.
But while those were valid points for the personality change, it was strange for it to have happened suddenly without any gradual progression at all. So Hajime took that explanation with a grain of salt, educated enough on Tooru™ to know that those weren’t all the reasons for why he was acting so strange.
Hajime hated admitting that he didn’t know what exactly was wrong with Tooru.
***
By the time it was winter break, two months after Tooru’s mood began shifting, Hajime’s worry had increased ten-fold.
They both regularly attended practices and any practice matches set up with the volleyball team even though final exams were quickly approaching. Tooru’s setting was amazing as ever on the court, and his ability to connect with his teammates hadn’t diminished at all. Surface deep, everything appeared as if it was fine. Yet, Hajime recognized that it wasn’t just him who could see the difference in the way he played, the way he held himself.
His body seemed more tense and rigid, his shoulders held up by his ears instead of the relaxed, carefree posture he flaunted before, and his face held a look of suppressed pain. Hajime hated that Tooru was suffering but wasn’t telling him—or anyone for that matter—what was wrong.
Whenever the spiker had been over at his boyfriends’ house, his parents frequently asked if he knew what was wrong with their son and Hajime felt like a failure every time he said he didn’t.
He didn’t feel like a good boyfriend, or even a good best friend, something that they promised they’d always be no matter what. It was obvious that Tooru didn’t trust him even to talk about what was bothering him, and that was killing Hajime.
The day before Christmas, Hajime planned a special date for the two of them since they hadn’t had much time together one-on-one with all the schoolwork being piled on the third years. He arranged it so that everything would turn out perfect; stress-free and relax-full.
They coordinated that they’d meet at the school around eleven, which then Hajime had the intention of taking Tooru to their favorite hole-in-the-wall ramen restaurant that they’d gone to since their junior high days.
When the spiker arrived, his boyfriend was already there, dressed in a pair of loose jeans and a baggy sweater. That struck Hajime a bit odd since Tooru often wore tighter fits that accentuated all of his muscles, not larger clothing that looked like he was swimming in them. But no matter, Tooru actually looked more comfortable in the clothes, standing on the sidewalk with his hands in his coat, body language open. This made Hajime smile wide seeing that the date would be starting off well with Tooru feeling serene.
The setter was ecstatic when Hajime began leading him down the familiar road to the ramen shop where Tooru got the spiciest sauce on top of his meal. When Hajime asked for a taste, he laughed at his boyfriend who instantly began sweating, face and ears flushing due to the absolute heat packed in the one bite he had. Tooru offered his matcha soy milk Hajime gave him before coming to the restaurant, which the spiker gladly took advantage of, cooling the burning of his tongue.
After their bowls were empty and their stomachs full, Hajime led them over to the mall where they leisurely walked around, admiring the lights. The bright greens and reds captivated their attention for nearly the whole hour and a half they spent bringing up random topics like which brand of volleyball was the best, what some of their New Years’ goals were, and how aliens were totally real.
Tooru mostly kept his attention on the colorful lights throughout their conversation, while in Hajime’s case, he was more focused on how attractive his boyfriend looked.
It was when Tooru’s nose was flushed a bright red, and the periodic shivering from the cold became more violent than when they first began that Hajime decided it was time to go home. He’d already asked Tooru if the brown-eyed boy wanted to spend the night over at his house, and was happy when he agreed. His plans didn’t end at the mall.
Hajime offered Tooru his shower first to thaw from the cold while he got the living room set up for a Star Wars movie marathon. Tooru swore up and down that it was the best series ever created in cinematic history, yet Hajime didn’t quite see the appeal. He appreciated the action aspect of it, of course, but found other movies like Godzilla to be more satisfying than Star Wars.
However, with how down Tooru had been, Hajime was willing to do anything to bring that smile back to his face. So he’d suffer through a few hours to bring some sort of comfort to his boyfriend.
Tooru came down, hair still dripping water and dressed in a borrowed hoodie and baggy gym shorts, and Hajime asked if he could pop the popcorn while he took a quick shower. After a little of Tooru’s normal sarcasm, he agreed to get the snacks in bowls, and Hajime tried to act as natural as he could seeing him act more like his usual self. It had been so long since he’d seen that side of Tooru.
Hajime hurried with washing his hair and face before drying off and changing into sweats and an old t-shirt, where he was quick to join his boyfriend on the couch.
They settled in, Tooru starting off a few feet away from Hajime, but as the movie went on, he gradually slid closer and closer to the spiker before eventually he was cuddled up next to him, basically half in his lap.
Hajime looked down at him, a gentle smile on his face as Tooru’s eyes widened at whatever was happening on-screen even though he’d probably seen this movie a dozen times already. He ran a hand through the fluffy, chocolate locks, and the respondent of the gentle treatment snuggled closer into his side, head on his shoulder. Hajime pressed a kiss to his temple, breathing in the combined scent of him and Tooru mixed together.
“You’re so handsome,” Hajime whispered in adoration.
Tooru flinched, his body going tense, and Hajime’s expression morphed into confusion.
“You know that…right?” He asked so softly that he was worried Tooru hadn’t heard but knew he did once a sharp breath left his nose.
“Yeah, whatever. Can we just watch the movie?”
And as much as Hajime wanted to understand what was wrong with Tooru, what had been bothering him for months, the spiker knew nothing would come out of the conversation. If Tooru didn’t want someone to know something, then they didn’t know. The only reason that Hajime noticed Tooru wasn’t acting himself even though he pretended otherwise was that the two had basically been inseparable since birth, and Hajime had spent those years memorizing all of his tells, knowing them like the back of his hand.
So, he let it go, nodded, and went back to playing with Tooru’s soft hair.
***
The following month was hard. Harder than Hajime ever anticipated.
After their date on Christmas Eve, Tooru seemed to pull away even farther.
He didn’t eat with Hajime and the other third years as often during lunch, claiming he needed help from teachers about new concepts they were learning. Instead of walking home with Hajime after practice, he said that he just needed to run a few errands, and that, no, he didn’t need Hajime’s help even after him offering twenty times. And during the weekends, he always declined Hajime’s proposal of having studying sessions together, no matter how many times the spiker said there’d be milk bread there.
If Tooru was even denying milk bread, this problem Hajime thought wasn’t significant at all was far greater than he realized.
But that didn’t mean Hajime was going to give up either.
He got his boyfriend flowers any chance he got, took him on dates when he could convince Tooru to go out, made him bento lunches during the week, and helped him study with the subjects Tooru wasn’t as confident in after practice. And when Tooru pulled away more, he became more determined to help.
Hajime was desperate in trying to show that he cared for his boyfriend by thinking of all the ways he could support him. He cared so much that it physically hurt seeing the pained look on Tooru’s face when he thought no one was looking.
The spiker simply wanted Tooru to talk to him, knowing having a second opinion on whatever the setter was hung up on would help at least a little bit. But it was obvious that his boyfriend didn’t trust him with his struggles, which hurt Hajime just as deeply.
At one point, he tried talking to Tooru about it, bringing up the multitude of other people who were concerned about him.
“Tooru, sweetheart, everyone is worried about you, especially your parents and me. We all love you so much, please just tell me or someone what’s wrong. You know how bad it is when you bottle everything up.”
The setter, hackles definitely raised, jumped in defense, the anger on his face clear as day.
They both backed off of the conversation when Hajime’s mom walked in, asking what they wanted for dinner. Afterward, Tooru made sure to never let Hajime bring up the topic again no matter how many attempts he tried to do so.
Hajime was becoming way too familiar with how his ceiling looked at night.
***
It was Wednesday, just two days before Valentine's day, and Hajime was at a loss of what to do.
He and Tooru clearly were struggling with their relationship at the moment. It was strained and the spiker was running out of ideas on how to connect with Tooru so that he’d start communicating with someone. It didn’t have to be him, but Hajime sure as hell would like to know what’s going on with his boyfriend.
After thinking, planning out, but ultimately scrapping a few ideas on what to do for the designated day of love, Hajime decided on going simple. Something similar to what they did for their date on Christmas Eve, except modified a bit.
Hajime showed up to school on Friday much earlier than when he’d usually arrive with a big bouquet of Tooru’s favorite flowers and multiple packages of milk bread. When Tooru saw Hajime, multiple emotions zipped through his face: shock, confusion, excitement, trepidation, and then finally, guilt, but he was quick to throw on a fake smile to make up for the inconsistent expressions he just portrayed to his boyfriend.
Hajime, of course, picked up on them all, hoping that he could maybe make Tooru forget whatever negative emotions that plagued him for at least today. So he gave the brown-eyed boy the flowers and bread, both of which he exclaimed at in fax happiness, pressing a kiss to Hajime’s cheek.
Even that kiss felt hesitant against Hajime’s skin.
***
Practice functioned normally except for a few of the players who were more anxious to leave, probably wanting to get ready for dates set up with their respective partners.
Tooru and Hajime were the last ones to leave because Tooru is Tooru, a dedicated player, and Hajime always stayed to make sure he gets home safe and not overworked.
In the locker room, they showered and changed into extra clothes they brought before Hajime led Tooru to a semi-fancy restaurant that the setter hadn’t even heard of before. Tooru panicked for a moment, hearing Hajime say he could get anything he wanted since the spiker would be paying for it all and then seeing how expensive everything was. The setter complained, but Hajime just held up his hand and said he wanted to do it for his boyfriend.
Tooru flinched out of Hajime’s eyesight, but the green-eyed boy didn’t seem to notice, looking intently at the menu.
Dinner went well, some of their regular banter picking up throughout the meal. By the end, Hajime felt so full seeing Tooru laugh freely, something he hadn’t done in a long time. Too long, in fact.
Once finished, they decided to just go home because the weather had been colder the past week, and the two of them were excited to get cozy under warm blankets, watching some movies together. It was the perfect way to unwind from a busy week of school and volleyball practice.
Hajime gave Tooru some baggy pajamas to change into, quickly changing himself before going to grab the snacks. He pretended not to notice the way Tooru waited until Hajime left the room before undressing.
With the lights dimmed, popcorn on Tooru’s lap, and the two of them close enough to each other that they could feel the others’ body heat, Hajime felt sated as the movie began.
What felt like only twenty minutes later as the credits rolled down the screen, Tooru suggested that they go up to Hajime’s room because he was tired. He put all the bowls they used away, folded the blankets, turned off the T.V, then joined Tooru in the bathroom. As the two of them brushed their teeth, Tooru made exaggerated faces, white foaming around his mouth. Hajime choked on toothpaste trying to call him a dumbass, his face heating up in embarrassment, but knowing he’d do it again if there’d be the promise of hearing Tooru’s manic laugh again.
They settled into Hajime’s bed, lying flat on their backs and hands intertwined. Tooru rolled over and smiled at Hajime.
“Thank you for today. I really appreciate all that you do for me, even if I haven’t been the greatest at showing it lately.” He pressed a kiss to Hajime’s chin.
It was quiet for a moment, Hajime deciding if he wanted to ruin the mood by expanding on what Tooru technically brought up. Before he lost his nerve, he turned to face him and opened his mouth.
“About that. . . When are we going to talk about it? I’ve missed you Tooru.”
“I haven’t left though.”
Hajime sighed.
“Maybe not physically, but everywhere else, you have. I can’t even remember the last time we hung out without you being so tense.”
“I just got a lot on my plate right now, that’s all.” Tooru tried pulling away, but Hajime wrapped his arms around him instead.
“Baby, you look like you’re in so much pain every time you don’t think anyone’s looking at you. Please just tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing is going on. I’m just stressed with school and graduation, which you should be too!" The setter tried drawing away again, but Hajime just held on tighter.
“Don’t turn this on me, Tooru. You’re pushing me away and I want to know why.”
“Hajime, I’m not. Everything is fine, so just drop it.”
“You get so defensive whenever I ask what’s wrong, so of course something is wrong!”
“I just don’t like it when you get all worried over me for no reason!”
“Except that there is a reason why I’m worried about you, and you won’t tell me.” Hajime huffed out a sigh, collecting his thoughts and emotions because if he acted aggressively in any way, his boyfriend would just shut down.
“Tooru, we don’t even have sex anymore. Which, that’s totally fine, by the way, because you’re entitled to not wanting to have sex, but you used to love it. Before this started we barely went two days without something, and now we don’t do anything .”
“I just haven’t felt like it.”
“Okay, and that’s fine. I just,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I just feel like there’s some underlying problem happening here. I mean, shit, you won’t let me look at your body, and that’s something we’ve been comfortable with since we were little kids, even after that one blip in junior high.”
Tooru mumbled something that Hajime didn’t quite catch.
“What was that?” He asked, leaning in.
“It’s because I don’t have the body I want right now.” And Tooru froze in Hajime’s arms.
“Like, you don’t feel strong?”
“No. Not th—no.” Tears welled up in his brown eyes and the spiker felt helpless.
Hajime looked at him for a moment longer with furrowed eyes, not entirely understanding what his boyfriend said. They sat in silence while Hajime looked around the room, trying to grasp the meaning of what Tooru told him. He said it wasn’t strength, and while that alone didn’t cross out self-image issues completely, Hajime didn’t think that’s what he was talking about. Not with the startled reaction Tooru had to it being brought up.
The quietness stretched on for a few extended moments, but after a long time with nothing but confusion, Hajime sighed.
“Baby, I don’t know what you mean by that.” It hurt to be so out of sync with Tooru, someone with whom he’d been able to understand exactly what he was thinking and feeling with just a glance for years. No matter how much bullshit Tooru threw up to distract Hajime from what really was going on, he still could figure it out. Not being able to interpret what Tooru—his boyfriend best friend —told him straight to his face made Hajime feel insecure in his relationship with him.
Tooru looked at his hands, face red as he chewed the inside of his cheek. He squeezed his fingers into his thighs.
“I—I don’t have the body I want right now. I don’t want it.” Tooru let out a heaving sigh and turned to rub his cheek on his shoulder, a few tears dripping down the side of his face.
Hajime, still lost and confused as fuck, cautiously began massaging Tooru’s back where his hands reached. Despite all the befuddlement, he wasn’t about to give up because this was something that held obvious importance to Tooru.
“Can you explain what that implies? I’m sorry I don’t understand.”
Tooru looked up at him with teary eyes and a pout. Hajime pulled him closer, wrapping his arms tighter around the trembling setter.
“I don’t want you to hate me,” he said, muffled.
“There isn’t anything you could do that would make me hate you. Unless you, like, killed my parents, or, I don’t know, decided not to go to Argentina anymore.” Hajime paused for a second and pulled back to look into Tooru's eyes.
“That’s not it…right?”
Tooru jumped, shaking his head frantically in Hajime’s chest.
“No, it’s not that, I promise.”
The green-eyed boy sighed in relief, some tension leaving his body.
“. . . Well then, what is it?”
Any semblance of calm Tooru managed to create went out the window after Hajime’s words. His body language became stiff, his back going straight, and he, again, pushed at Hajime’s chest to get away from him.
“Um, well,” Tooru played with his hair, something Hajime knew he did when nervous, which didn’t really mean a thing since anyone with eyes could tell he was anxious about having this conversation.
“Well, the thing is, uh, fuck. I don’t know how to tell you,” he whined, putting his red face in his hands. Hajime stayed silent, opting to watch and let Tooru figure out how to say it on his own.
Tooru scrubbed his head for a second, before fully facing Hajime on the bed, legs pulled up to his chest. His lips trembled slightly before his face hardened and he took a breath in.
“I’m a girl. . . Right now, that is.”
Hajime blinked and then blinked again.
“So you’re transgender?”
“Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking.”
“Oh. Then what do you mean?”
Tooru ran a hand through his mussed hair, untangling some of the knots.
“Um, well, you are kinda correct, since right now I’m a girl, but other days I feel like a boy, and also non-binary. Do you know what that means?”
Hajime licked his lips, expression pinched a little in concentration to understand what his boyfriend—wait no, his girlfriend? —was saying.
“I think so. It’s when someone doesn’t have a gender, right? Do they use the pronouns they and them?
“Yeah, they don’t identify as a man or woman.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“So you’re all three at different times? What’s that called?” Hajime asked with a focused look, intent on finding out what this meant for the setter.
Tooru felt butterflies in her tummy.
“The term is genderfluid since I go from one gender to another. It’s never a permanent thing.”
Hajime hummed, eyebrows knitted together, trying to understand everything but not sure what to say next.
“Does anyone else know?” Is what he finally decided on saying.
Tooru tilted her head to the side and pushed her bottom lip out.
“I talked to Tani about it around the beginning of November. But she's the only one, besides you now.”
Hajime nodded his head, knowing that if Tooru were to go to anyone about this at first, it’d definitely be her sister. Tooru sniffed and rubbed her nose.
“Did it go okay? Did she understand you?”
“At first she didn’t, but she’s been doing research about it and has told me about different LGBTQ support groups around here.”
“Have you gone to any of them?”
Tooru shook her head.
“No, I’ve been too scared to run into somebody I know there and then them telling everyone.”
“Oh.”
Neither of them said anything for a moment, Tooru's eyes anxiously flitting over his face, looking for any kind of disgust or hostility. Because despite the fact she fully believed that Hajime wouldn’t hurt her, the fear was still there. And fear did a lot to people.
Hajime pulled her out of her thoughts by speaking up again.
“Does that mean you want people to use she and her pronouns for you right now? Then when you’re non-binary, they and them pronouns? Oh, and I assume you want me to call you my girlfriend right now, huh? What about when you’re non-binary? Would you like to be called my partner? Or do you just want to be called my partner all the time? Or, do you like th—”
“Wait!” Tooru yelled, confusion flashing in her eyes. “You aren’t disgusted by me?
Hajime stared at her in disbelief, like she just told him that she’s flying to Mars or was giving up volleyball. He shook his head.
“Uh, obviously not. I love you unconditionally. That doesn’t just apply to certain things, dumbass.”
It was then Tooru’s turn to say, “oh.” She felt her nose and eyes burn.
“Really?”
“Really, Tooru. What did you think I’d do? Never talk to you again? Baby, you’re my best friend above anything else.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I wouldn’t let you down like that, ever.”
She leaned her head back, fully pressing her lips to her boyfriends’. A relieved sigh escaped her lips.
“Hmm, that’s the first time in a while that you’ve looked comfortable.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—” He shut her up with a kiss.
“Don’t ever apologize. That was very brave of you, thank you for telling me, and thanks for trusting me.”
Tooru sniffed, tears slowly rolling down her face.
“I trust you more than anyone else, Hajime.” They kissed again, Tooru shifting to lay on her boyfriend, not bothering to hold herself up, just pressing herself as close as possible to Hajime.
The rest of their night was spent talking about the details of Tooru and her genderfluid-ness, like pronouns, preferred name, labels, and even how Tooru wanted to have sex during each gender switch. Hajime asked a lot of good questions, some of which Tooru didn’t know the answer to, which the spiker replied to with a gentle smile.
“That’s alright, you have years to figure it out.”
And Tooru smiled so brightly, her feelings for Hajime all-consuming.
“I love you, Hajime.”
“I love you, Tooru.”
…
“Want to help me lose my girl-virginity?”
“Uh, I don’t think it works like that?”
“I mean, technically it does.”
“Ehh, I don’t think so, Tooru.”
“So no sex?”
“...I never said that.”
***
Tooru’s hand was in Hajime’s, and the two of them stood in front of Tooru’s house. It was March, a week before their graduation, and Tooru’s grip was sweaty. Hajime wanted to make a joke about it, but took one look at his partner and decided otherwise. The setter looked like they were seconds away from passing out.
“You got this, Tooru. I’ll be with you the entire time. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Even though Hajime had given them his reassurance around a million times now, Tooru was still nervous, and to be honest, he was a little bit too.
Before losing their nerves, Tooru marched up to their door and walked in.
“Hey, everyone it’s me! Hajime’s here as well.”
There were multiple sounds of greeting and acknowledgment coming from the living room, so the two of them headed there. Tooru’s parents, grandma, sister, and nephew were sitting throughout the room, Takeru laying on his back with a volleyball in hand on the ground in front of his mom.
“Hajime, it’s so good to see you.” Tooru’s grandma reached out for a hug, and Hajime let go of his partner’s hand to return the gesture.
Small talk was passed around for close to an hour, Tooru gradually getting more and more nervous from their seat on the couch next to Hajime, who was sure he was losing blood flow to his hand at this point with how hard Tooru was squeezing it.
There was a lull in the conversation, Tooru sitting up a bit straighter, and Hajime looked at their face, realizing it was about to happen. He squeezed their hand, hoping to pass some calmness over.
“I’m genderfluid!”
All heads turned to look at Tooru, eyes inquisitive. It was silent except for the washing machine humming in the background. Tani caught Hajime’s eye and smiled.
“What does, um, that mean, honey?” Genkei, Tooru’s mom, asked hesitantly and confused.
Tooru took a big breath, looked at Hajime once, and began explaining.
It took a while for Tooru’s parents and grandma to understand what it meant for Tooru being genderfluid, and to even remember the name for Tooru’s gender orientation. But the longer Tooru explained, the more comfortable they felt, slowly relaxing back into the couch and Hajime’s side. The questions were endless, but Tooru took it all in stride, just like with everything else they did.
“I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell us,” Kokoro said with a sad voice. Out of both of their parents, Tooru was closer to their dad, the setter going to him for most things. Tooru sent him a down-turned smile.
“When you think you might lose something that you love and care deeply for, it's hard to go forward and follow through with that.” They looked up at Hajime and smiled.
“I’m sorry that you ever felt that way around us. We love you no matter what, Tooru. You mean the world to us.” Genkei stood up from her seat and wrapped her arms around Tooru, squeezing hard. Kokoro joined soon after, as well as their grandma. Tani looked over all of their heads and smiled again, mouthing something. At first, Hajime couldn’t decipher, but then he understood.
"Thank you .”
***
“Hajime! Do these go together?” Tooru stood in front of her mirror, Hajime lounged across the bed, directing a fan in his face. He looked up to see his girlfriend twirling from side to side to see the different angles of her in the new dress she chose. It was an emerald green that went to her mid-thighs, showing off her curves.
Hajime directed his gaze to Tooru’s face, which held an exasperated expression.
“Don’t just check me out!” She turned to fully face him, planting her hands on her hips.
Hajime looked down at the doc martins and then back up to the dress. He shrugged.
“Tooru, you usually are the one who dresses me up, so I don’t think I’m that qualified to answer.”
“But still, do you think they look okay?”
“Uh yeah, I might be a little biased though since it's you.”
“Whatever,” she said, flopping down next to her boyfriend whose eyes began to close.
“It’s too hot. Why is it already heating up? It’s only the beginning of April.” Hajime whined, pressing the fan closer to him.
“I don’t know, probably because of climate change.”
Hajime just hummed in response.
“Want to go to the pool after lunch?” Tooru asked, stretching her arms above her head.
Hajime opened one eye to look at her.
“Sure, but will you be okay there?”
Tooru was still fairly new in embracing her body when she was a woman, and Hajime was concerned she’d panic or something.
“Yup, yup! I got a new swimsuit when I went shopping with Tani the other day.”
“Oh, fun.” Hajime smiled at the happiness lining Tooru’s words.
“Yeah, and the ladies there were really nice about it, too!” Hajime hummed again, smile still present.
“Well, alright. If you feel fine, then it’s a date.”
“Oooh, how romantic, a date at the public pool. Hajime, you spoil me!”
“Shut up, dumbass.” He elbows Tooru in the ribs, and she lets out a squeal.
They lapse into silence, the cicada’s buzz coming through Tooru’s open window, a soft breeze caressing their bodies.
Hajime was so content and happy and safe and amazing and he didn’t know half of the things he was feeling, but whenever he was with Tooru, it was good. And knowing that Tooru was happy made him feel like the greatest man alive.
He slid a hand over the bed cover to grab Tooru’s hand, squeezing it.
“I love you, Tooru.”
“I love you, Hajime. Always.”
And the sun kept beating, the wind still blew, the insects continued buzzing, and Tooru and Hajime endlessly loved each other.
The End